i might be destined for Latin America

[benjio]

Carson,

You'll quickly realize there's an incessant debate on this board between those that believe Colombia is a wife hunter's paradise, and others that believe it's actually quite difficult to find a truly great woman there. Those that believe finding a wife is about knowing exactly what you want and going for it without hesitation as suppose to taking your time and dating as you would here in the states. Those that believe it's a matter of taking the appropriate steps instead of it being a question of luck.

I like to think of myself as a "middle-of-the-roader." It really all depends on the man, what he wants, what he's willing to risk and/or sacrifice, and most importantly the amount of money and free time you have.

I think we can all agree that the search is never easy, but a life changing experience you'll never regret regardless of what country in Latin America you find yourself dating in. Best of luck to you and happy hunting!

[Woody]

Can you give me a realistic expectation of how long and how much work it might take to find success like you had?   I'm honestly not looking forward to making a bunch of trips.  I want to be effective and focused and achieve success in a minimal amount of time.   Perhaps 2 to 3 trips max. 
 
Is this planned goal realistic?
1)  get on plane and meet a girl through agency....lock in on one by the end of the trip and focus efforts on her
 
2) return home and continue this relationship via phone/skype/email everyday for a few months
 
3) return to colombia to meet her parents and family and if all is well...make the proposal
 
4)  go home and prepare the paperwork
 
5) come back for my girl and fly back together with her
 
Am I just dreaming?

Two to three trips max? You are dreaming.
Lets look at an unlikely but plausible scenario:
One trip to meet.
One trip to propose.
One trip for her visa interview.
(Optional) One trip to come back with her.


So, your total face-time with this girl will be under a month and you have already proposed, spent thousands filing the paperwork, and you just met the family last week.


BTW, that whole scenario, from start to finish, would be 1 year on the most optimistic and accelerated timeline. More realistic is 1.5-2 years.


No, I would plan for five to six trips, minimum.


This process is not for someone looking for easy or cheap. It is not easy and it is certainly not cheap. I estimate that I will be out around $100k in lost revenues and expenses before all is said and done. I estimate that I am currently down about $20k and that number will grow rapidly over the next year. It is worth every penny if I find what I am looking for. Even if I do not, the journey was pretty amazing.

[benjio]

The same could be said with some of the girls back here in the states.  All but one of  my ex girlfriends (white/asian/latina) have specifically said they would never date a "black" guy or a "moreno" as they often referred and I asked them why...and they really never gave me a solid enough of an answer that would make any sense.  However one of them has dated a few black guys.  It's really all a matter of preference like you said.  And to tell you the truth, I would say 70% of the non Asian girls that I have dated said I was their first "Asian."  I prefer to date those types anyhow so there are no expectations and if there are preconceived stereotypes ...then they would be found true or untrue in getting to know me.
 
I will also add there are white girls and Latinas that only hunt "black" guys.  I always knew those clubs to avoid lol..I mean why not put myself in a place where I have high chances of success.. it goes both ways.   
I've lived by the philosophy that attractive is attractive and I believe in it 90% of the way...A girl may not be attracted to whatever race, but if there are certain features that hit her attraction triggers..then all goes out the window.  "I never would have thought I would have the hots for an Asian!" -sexy gal at my work (kicker is she is 25 yo divorced with 3 kids)    The same could be said for any race.....  I never followed through in pursuing a "real" relationship with that gal..but I did turn her on to Asians and she is currently chasing that dream of hers hahah
 

You see..I kind of ..for whatever weird reason..see that as a competitive advantage.  I always feel that way when I walk into a strictly Latin club where I am one of the few minorities there.   I'm usually the only Asian and there is always a token white or black guy (which makes me feel better lol)  And of course I have met some girls who wouldn't give me the time of day...but there are girls within my own race that does the same.   Those stereotypical comments have also been said by girls that have never dated asians here in states....you're gonna find ignorant people everywhere.
What you're commentating on is pretty much apparent in the U.S. as well...but know what..it's gotten a lot better.  That's also another reason I prefer younger women.  They seem to be more open minded and less affected by older media influences.  I'm sure they've also seen their share of Will Smith (Independence Day) and Denzel Washington flicks...like I said..there are girls that go cra-cra over the chocolate boys hahaha.  One of my friends is black and he knows what's up.  Some girls just like it and some girls not so much.   The ones that seem the most resistant to dating outside their race/nationality are Vietnamese and Indian (the ones with the dot)...from my experience of course.
 

In the 60s/70s/80s/90s...I agree the influence was something to be said...but nowadays..it's getting better through music and movies, etc...  We've got male sex role models now.  In the past, we could kick ass on screen and in careers/education/success in the real world... but on screen, we couldn't get no ass.  We kicked ass but got no ass.  Damn caucasian directors lol i.e. Jackie freakin Chan kicked ass, saved the girl, but didn't do anything with her hahahahah
Nowadays, I feel that Asians are a force to be reckoned with not only in education and socioeconomic competition, but we are breaking in Hollywood and professional sports as well. 
If you have been as successful as you described dating women in the states, I'm assuming you're a pretty good looking guy. I'm absolutely sure you would meet someone if you decided to go with Colombia. But I can almost guarantee you that your choices will be significantly reduced because of your race. IMHO, Brazilians are much more tolerant of racial differences. There's also a substantial population of Asians in Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo. If you already know some Spanish, Portuguese is negotiable; but another advantage of dating in Brazil is a lot more people being able to speak English. Especially young, single, well educated women.

I'm a decent looking guy.  I represent myself that way and walk that way....but in the end, it's all preference and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.  I think everyone's choices are limited to a certain pool of people that are attracted to them, regardless of race.  You think white guys can attract everyone? lol  There are latinas that don't like them.  There are asian girls that don't like them.  And I'm sure there are black girls that wouldn't prefer them.  I just say rock whatever flavor you are and use it as a competitive advantage.  If I was black, I would use the power of my sexual chocolate hahaha.....but I'm not, so I'm gonna be the Asian sensation.
 
The only reason I am focusing on Colombia is because Jamie's website is all about it and I'm looking to meet a large amount of truly marriage minded folks under one roof.  I don't want to date someone casually.  I can do that here in Texas any weekend.  I'm looking to make that real genuine and sustaining connection...with passion of course.  Is there a solution to it SOTB?  Are there agencies in Brazil?   My worst nightmare is I get introduced to a prostitute that didn't get filtered out by any agency! lol
 
Btw, how old are you, Benjio?

Carson,
 
Woody is absolutely, 100% correct. Trying to do what you're thinking about doing is expensive, even with minimal trips.
 
You have A LOOOOOOOT to learn about dating in Colombia!!! I think your perspective will be significantly different once you actually touch down and are exposed to the culture. Like I said in a previous post though, Latin-Wife is your best bet. A good looking guy is a good looking guy, Asian, Black, White, doesn't matter; so you definitely have a great opportunity to prove me wrong and I'll be the first to admit it if so. Calipro made some EXCELLENT points in his post about Cali. If you look through a lot of the profiles on Jamie's site many of the women (especially the darker skinned ones) mention a preference for white men. I have seen maybe two or three since I've been checking his site out that specifically mentioned preferring darker guys. But during my first trip I ran across two girls at the agency that expressed an interest in meeting me after they saw me in person. I was interested in both before coming as they were attractive, but they both said in their profiles they wanted white men so I didn't bother to inquire. So like Cali said, when it comes down to it and your feet are actually on the ground, it can be a very different story anywhere in Colombia.
 
Try your hand at Jamie's and please report back with your experience there. He will let you know well in advance if a trip to Barranquilla is not worth your while. I would again suggest Brazil though. There's a much more progressive way of thinking there and the speed of life is comparable to that of the U.S.

[aconcepts]

Hmmmm.. so many things to do and so much time to do them living here in Costa Rica. I don’t see why more guys that are into dating Latinas do not move to Latin America. Woody says he is out a bundle and has taken many trips. I on the other hand have done well financially here in Costa Rica and the gene pool is all around me. So if Latinas are your thing why not make the move? Is it really all about work is is it about family. Many of the guys I know that brought women home experienced a lot of rejection from friends and family. That did not help the marriage. Most of theguys that I know here that are in a committed relationship have little trouble with the family except being asked for loans. But the wives usually protect them.
 
I have already expressed I am skeptical of going overseas and bringing home a wife. But according to many people here it has worked for them So really like I say who really knows? There have been some horror stories on this sight as well. I would guess that for every success story you read here there are 10 more stories where guys are to embaraased or just do not want to relive the sad details.
 
In my experience those guys I know married to Asians had much better luck. Personally I am addicted to Latinas… And not for their personalities or characters for the most part. The Asians I have met seem much more even tempered and I love Buddhism so to me that’s a huge plus if the family is Buddhist.
 
I do know that in my experience I have seen the vast number of imported marriages fail. I have lived outside the US for many years and have met many guys that have gone that route and then later decided to move to the beach where the sand is instead of trying to create the beach back home.
 
Just a thought.
 
Make money here and have a great selection of available women. Look everybody has different requirements as we are all different and my requirements for a mate are very different. Plus I am much older than you and I am sure I have already done a lot of things you seek to do.
 
So…
 
The point is. Carve out a life here in LA. Make money on the internet, become a resident, learn the language and culture and indulge. Move out to the country, eat a lot of mangoes have a bunch of kids and let them find Jesus on their own! Jajajaja
 Like they say here in Costa Rica "Solo bueno" - "Its all good!"


My retort is , "yeah its all good but some of it is a lot better! Jajajaja


Its all good"

[braziliangirl]

You're, right, Braziliangirl!     It slipped my mind that he hails from Belem.   That's so cool that you know him through a degree of separation...  So do you recommend I visit Brazil as well?  How safe is it compared to Baranquilla, Colombia?   It would be so cool to train BJJ with the Gracies and attend a karate class at the Machida training facility....haha but my first goal is to meet the special girl first.   

Of course I recommend Brazil! There are girls of all colors and sizes around here.
I've never been to Baranquilla, so I can't compare. (Though for a  ridiculously large cup of Juan Valdez  I would go there. In fact, people talk about it so much, I plan to go there someday, but not alone, of course.) I would say that most parts of Brazil are safe if you keep in the touristic areas.
The Gracies moved to Rio, so youd have to go there to train with them. A karatê class at the Machida center would be easy to arrange.

[Jeff S]

Hi Carson and welcome. I'll agree with those who posted earlier talking about culture, language, culture, language and culture. Whether you like it or not, you're going to be immersed in it no matter what.


I also agree with Woody that you are wishful thinking if you think you can do it in X number of trips for Y number of dollars. It's all about the journey, not the destination. Aconcepts also makes sense when he says that moving there is a far better that flying in and hoping to luck out in a few short vacations. Like Benjio, in my single days I had a job that took me all over the world, and put me in groups of locals, so it gave me a much more realistic viewpoint of the people, cultures and traditions. Even still, it was close to 8 years before I came home with a wife, and nearly three years and 7 trips with my now wife before we were really sure. Dwight D Eisenhower when planning the D-Day invasion said: "Plans are worthless, but planning is everything."


- Jeff

[mambocowboy]

Carson, your number of trips, etc. all depends on you. Since you are young you do indeed have plenty of time.  However, there is absolutely no need for a guy of any age to put time pressure on himself in this process. I think even the guys who have spent a ton of time and money searching and are still looking  would say it's been worth it....Keep in mind that even after you get engaged you have to keep the relationship growing via long distance, deal with immigration, the K1 process, etc. It's a big, long process that requires the investment of alot of time,money, and energy...My advice is to learn as much Spanish as possible (or Portuguese if you go to Brazil), it will help you immensely in this process...

[Bob_S]

I've lived in Oklahoma nearly all my life and so there wasn't much beyond Asians and white girls to date.

Really?  Where've they been hiding you?  Whenever we head to OK to visit my extended family, my wife always feels like a panda zoo animal on display, often being the only Asian person in the entire county.

[michaelb]

Really?  Where've they been hiding you?  Whenever we head to OK to visit my extended family, my wife always feels like a panda zoo animal on display, often being the only Asian person in the entire county.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Having grown up in Oklahoma myself, I was wondering "Where did he find any Asian girls to date?" Plenty of whites, blacks and probably more Indians than any other state (except perhaps New Mexico and Arizona), but Asians? I can't recall ever meeting more than one or two in the whole state.

I remember a couple of funnies....once some relatives came out from California and my cousin (about 10 yo at the time) kept wanting to see an Indian....heck, they were all around us, she just didn't realize it, and when I pointed one out, as discreetly  as possible ("See that man over there in the red shirt?") her reaction was "Oh, I'm so disappointed, they look just like Mexicans! I thought they would have feathers in their hair and paint on their faces.".....Another time I was there with my wife and a group of us were at a restaurant, one of those cafeteria places where you walk down the line with your tray and tell the servers what you want....and my wife kept talking to them in Spanish and wondering why they weren't understanding her......she too thought the servers were Mexican (and in Texas, which my wife was now used to, they would have been)

[Carson007]

Carson,

You'll quickly realize there's an incessant debate on this board between those that believe Colombia is a wife hunter's paradise, and others that believe it's actually quite difficult to find a truly great woman there. Those that believe finding a wife is about knowing exactly what you want and going for it without hesitation as suppose to taking your time and dating as you would here in the states. Those that believe it's a matter of taking the appropriate steps instead of it being a question of luck.

I like to think of myself as a "middle-of-the-roader." It really all depends on the man, what he wants, what he's willing to risk and/or sacrifice, and most importantly the amount of money and free time you have.

I think we can all agree that the search is never easy, but a life changing experience you'll never regret regardless of what country in Latin America you find yourself dating in. Best of luck to you and happy hunting!

Benjio,
Thanks for the well wishes....Realistically, I think I might be a middle of the roader from what you describe.  But deep down inside, I want to believe that I can be focused and strike should the opportunity be there where a girl is presents herself and she has all the major qualities I'm looking for without any major red flags.

[Carson007]

Two to three trips max? You are dreaming.
Lets look at an unlikely but plausible scenario:
One trip to meet.
One trip to propose.
One trip for her visa interview.
(Optional) One trip to come back with her.


So, your total face-time with this girl will be under a month and you have already proposed, spent thousands filing the paperwork, and you just met the family last week.


BTW, that whole scenario, from start to finish, would be 1 year on the most optimistic and accelerated timeline. More realistic is 1.5-2 years.


No, I would plan for five to six trips, minimum.


This process is not for someone looking for easy or cheap. It is not easy and it is certainly not cheap. I estimate that I will be out around $100k in lost revenues and expenses before all is said and done. I estimate that I am currently down about $20k and that number will grow rapidly over the next year. It is worth every penny if I find what I am looking for. Even if I do not, the journey was pretty amazing.

How do most of you guys do this?  I make a pretty respectable and comfortable income but I only have about 3 weeks each year of personal time.  I used to take multiple vacations with my friends and family.  Will I have to sacrifice my standards and dedicate all that PTO time towards this effort?
 
I was thinking there would be at least 3 to 6 months from the initial meeting to the proposal....
 
 

[Carson007]

Carson,
 
Woody is absolutely, 100% correct. Trying to do what you're thinking about doing is expensive, even with minimal trips.
 
You have A LOOOOOOOT to learn about dating in Colombia!!! I think your perspective will be significantly different once you actually touch down and are exposed to the culture. Like I said in a previous post though, Latin-Wife is your best bet. A good looking guy is a good looking guy, Asian, Black, White, doesn't matter; so you definitely have a great opportunity to prove me wrong and I'll be the first to admit it if so. Calipro made some EXCELLENT points in his post about Cali. If you look through a lot of the profiles on Jamie's site many of the women (especially the darker skinned ones) mention a preference for white men. I have seen maybe two or three since I've been checking his site out that specifically mentioned preferring darker guys. But during my first trip I ran across two girls at the agency that expressed an interest in meeting me after they saw me in person. I was interested in both before coming as they were attractive, but they both said in their profiles they wanted white men so I didn't bother to inquire. So like Cali said, when it comes down to it and your feet are actually on the ground, it can be a very different story anywhere in Colombia.
 
Try your hand at Jamie's and please report back with your experience there. He will let you know well in advance if a trip to Barranquilla is not worth your while. I would again suggest Brazil though. There's a much more progressive way of thinking there and the speed of life is comparable to that of the U.S.

Benjio,
Have you made a post/report about your experience with Baranquilla and Jamie's services?  I would like to hear how your adventure went down and if you met anyone that you had a relationship with?
 

[Carson007]

Hmmmm.. so many things to do and so much time to do them living here in Costa Rica. I don’t see why more guys that are into dating Latinas do not move to Latin America. Woody says he is out a bundle and has taken many trips. I on the other hand have done well financially here in Costa Rica and the gene pool is all around me. So if Latinas are your thing why not make the move? Is it really all about work is is it about family. Many of the guys I know that brought women home experienced a lot of rejection from friends and family. That did not help the marriage. Most of theguys that I know here that are in a committed relationship have little trouble with the family except being asked for loans. But the wives usually protect them.
 
I have already expressed I am skeptical of going overseas and bringing home a wife. But according to many people here it has worked for them So really like I say who really knows? There have been some horror stories on this sight as well. I would guess that for every success story you read here there are 10 more stories where guys are to embaraased or just do not want to relive the sad details.
 
In my experience those guys I know married to Asians had much better luck. Personally I am addicted to Latinas… And not for their personalities or characters for the most part. The Asians I have met seem much more even tempered and I love Buddhism so to me that’s a huge plus if the family is Buddhist.
 
I do know that in my experience I have seen the vast number of imported marriages fail. I have lived outside the US for many years and have met many guys that have gone that route and then later decided to move to the beach where the sand is instead of trying to create the beach back home.
 
Just a thought.
 
Make money here and have a great selection of available women. Look everybody has different requirements as we are all different and my requirements for a mate are very different. Plus I am much older than you and I am sure I have already done a lot of things you seek to do.
 
So…
 
The point is. Carve out a life here in LA. Make money on the internet, become a resident, learn the language and culture and indulge. Move out to the country, eat a lot of mangoes have a bunch of kids and let them find Jesus on their own! Jajajaja
 Like they say here in Costa Rica "Solo bueno" - "Its all good!"


My retort is , "yeah its all good but some of it is a lot better! Jajajaja


Its all good"

Aconcepts,
 
Let's say I would consider making the move to somewhere like Peru or Costa Rica...how could I make a living there right now?  What are my options?  I'm currently working as an engineer.  Would I have to trade up my comfortable lifestyle? 

[Carson007]

Of course I recommend Brazil! There are girls of all colors and sizes around here.
I've never been to Baranquilla, so I can't compare. (Though for a  ridiculously large cup of Juan Valdez  I would go there. In fact, people talk about it so much, I plan to go there someday, but not alone, of course.) I would say that most parts of Brazil are safe if you keep in the touristic areas.
The Gracies moved to Rio, so youd have to go there to train with them. A karatê class at the Machida center would be easy to arrange.

What city do you live in Braziliangirl?  If I were to plan a visit there, would you be my friend and wing girl? lol   Everyone here keeps talking about how expensive it is there to visit...Can you give me an idea?    How easy would it be to meet a beautiful, marriage minded girl there that is willing to leave her home behind and go back to the United States?

[Carson007]

Carson, your number of trips, etc. all depends on you. Since you are young you do indeed have plenty of time.  However, there is absolutely no need for a guy of any age to put time pressure on himself in this process. I think even the guys who have spent a ton of time and money searching and are still looking  would say it's been worth it....Keep in mind that even after you get engaged you have to keep the relationship growing via long distance, deal with immigration, the K1 process, etc. It's a big, long process that requires the investment of alot of time,money, and energy...My advice is to learn as much Spanish as possible (or Portuguese if you go to Brazil), it will help you immensely in this process...

Well I can see why most people here are proponents of the enjoy the experience and the journey view, and I agree it should be enjoyable.  It's just that I don't want to take a lackadaisical approach towards my goal of being a relatitively young husband and a young father...with the right girl of course.

[Carson007]

Really?  Where've they been hiding you?  Whenever we head to OK to visit my extended family, my wife always feels like a panda zoo animal on display, often being the only Asian person in the entire county.

There is a large Vietnamese population in Oklahoma City.   In Oklahoma, the Vietnamese community and businesses are organized in certain areas and that's where most of them can be found congregating.  Most of these folks (at least girls in my age range at the time) can be found at all the Universities...(UCO, OU, OSU, etc)  even Health Sciences Center.  Most of them are in school or advanced education...and so there are opportunities to socialize in the Asian clubs and organizations.  There were also a cup of night clubs that were known for the large Asian party crowds.  There is also a sizeable Filipino and Korean population in the area...and they are also bunched up in certain areas like Del City/Midwest City area...but these are generalizations.  Most Asians can be found anywhere today....most of them in the suburbs.
 
 

[aconcepts]

I love Asians in general. I am of European decent and the original Latin (Italian) and I have to admit, besides style and looks (sorry) generally speaking Asians have a much better head of their shoulders. Of course my kung fu teacher was Asain and I may be biased, but in my experience the level of humility and civility is unequaled.


I had an incredible Asian meditation master stay at my estate and meditate for six months (not a typo) in my 2 acre meditation garden by the river. Now i was so impressed by him that I built a covered elevated meditation platform for him overlooking the river. Incredible human. Many people don't know that Jimi Hendrix was Asian (Chinese? and African). Tiger Woods another example of Thai and African. I love the mixing of the races. I think genetically the world is improving through inter racial marriages.


Bneijio -


I really like the way you think.


Also someone said they look at it as being an advantage to be racially unique in a group. I have thought this for many years.


In my neighbor hood at the beach in California everyone had expensive new cars. BMW's Benz etc - so i got a lot of attention by driving my 63 Plymouth Valiant convertible with the top permanently down and my 100 pound Rotty in the back seat!. When I parked i would extend a huge beach umbrella and use it to shade King Rolf (my Rotty). My car looked like a huge foo foo drink! Parked along side the expensive new cars it and my dog and me got a lot of attention... more than one man deserves that's for sure... Yep my under 5K Vailant convertable out did the 100k cars... cause it stood out...

[braziliangirl]

What city do you live in Braziliangirl?  If I were to plan a visit there, would you be my friend and wing girl? lol   Everyone here keeps talking about how expensive it is there to visit...Can you give me an idea?    How easy would it be to meet a beautiful, marriage minded girl there that is willing to leave her home behind and go back to the United States?

I live in Belém, in the north. Totally different from Sao Paulo or Rio. But it's a nice trip, right in the Amazon, so people are more mixed with native people (indios) and indios here look more Asian than North American indios. A lot of people from the USA ask me if I'm from the Phillippines, and here, since we have a lot of people from Japan, they ask me if I'm mixed. A lot of girls look like this here, caramel skin, almond eyes, dark straight hair.

Yeah, if you're nice I could be your wing girl. Benjio is owing me a visit, you could come with him!

You can find decent hotels in Belém for around $60, a meal would be around $10 to $50, depending on how nice.

Most of the times, I feel like Belém has 50 women for each guy. It seems like a big war and men even forgot how to initiate things. If you are at least OK looking, all you have to do is be in a bar or club and wait. Because of that, guys really don't feel like getting serious with anyone.

Some girls, like me, refuse to get into this war to get a man that most of the times is not even worth. So there are a lot of single girls just wait for a miracle to happen. There are not many gringos looking for wives here, like in Colombia, for example. So I guess it wouldn't be that hard to find someone for you.

[Woody]

Hmmmm.. so many things to do and so much time to do them living here in Costa Rica. I don’t see why more guys that are into dating Latinas do not move to Latin America. Woody says he is out a bundle and has taken many trips. I on the other hand have done well financially here in Costa Rica and the gene pool is all around me.


The point is. Carve out a life here in LA. Make money on the internet, become a resident, learn the language and culture and indulge. Move out to the country, eat a lot of mangoes have a bunch of kids and let
them find Jesus on their own! Jajajaja

I would like to note that I am not at all upset at the amount I am "out." I was merely pointing out the costs involved with this whole endeavor. Now, that said, I have made a total of two, yes, two trips to Colombia. However, I would note that I was on the ground for 87 days between those two trips(one 30 days, another 57 days just two months later). It took me most of that second trip to realize that Colombia was not going to pan out for me. After my first trip, I thought Colombia was a paradise. Once the novelty wore off, the little things started to bug the crap out of me.


The Philippines didn't have such a mesmerizing effect on me. I already had Colombia as a reference to what bugs the [snip] out of me, and the Philippines definitely had them, just to a lesser extent. What is
really limiting my search is, me. I have certain needs from a partner as far as intellectual prowess goes. The fact of the matter is that until I am able to have a philosophical debate in her language or her
have one in English, I'm pretty much screwed. My Spanish is on the level with a retarded three year old, so that doesn't help me there. Oh sure, I can "communicate," but I cannot actually discuss things in
depth. Oh, and most Filippinas have what I would call "functional English." it is pretty good, but more like a 3rd grader with iffy pronunciation.




To address AC's comment on living outside the first world and making a living on the Internet. It can be done, it is a matter of finding the right niche and enjoying it. Personally, I don't see myself being able to do something like that simply because I am a horrible salesman. I just cannot sell something that I do not believe is the best for my client. Now, if I believe in something and think it is a great fit, I can be the best salesman you ever met. When I have enthusiasm for something it is genuine and it shows. I'm taking a different route on the living and working outside the US.


In the next few years(3) I will have enough capital to live off even meager(5% above inflation) investment returns. I am not really planning on doing that, but it is a comforting backup. As things stand right now, if I lived in some place like Ecuador, my VA disability pension(which, believe me, I would much rather not have a messed up back and other joints than a monthly paycheck because of that) would cover my basic cost of living. It wouldn't cover entertainment, but my basic needs are already met just from that. This, combined with investment assets, provides me with the ability to live a fairly normal, upper-middle-class lifestyle in some place like Ecuador for about 30 years assuming that I did not work and that did not earn any appreciation in assets beyond keeping pace with inflation. Yeah, I think I will be OK.


I really enjoy teaching, teaching English as a Foreign Language? We'll see. Either way, my interests lie in the STEM(Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) sector but I realize that as a more managerial role within that sector would probably be a better long term path for me. So, what am I doing? Well, I am improving myself and on my ways towards the required paper to show I am capable of doing said job. I'll probably end up with a triple major and even a Masters; Science, Education, and Business (Focus on MIS). I guess my eventual path is an overseas job while working for a US company. No matter what, I have options, and lots of them.

[Woody]

How do most of you guys do this?  I make a pretty respectable and comfortable income but I only have about 3 weeks each year of personal time.  I used to take multiple vacations with my friends and family.  Will I have to sacrifice my standards and dedicate all that PTO time towards this effort?
 
I was thinking there would be at least 3 to 6 months from the initial meeting to the proposal....

Do you want this to work? Then absolutely you will. Three weeks a year is so little time, how could you even consider taking any of that time away from seeing her? At least you can probably structure things to take advantage of weekends and holidays. You can turn 40 hours of PTO into almost ten days if you flew out Friday night and returned the following Sunday evening. Being in DFW means there may be direct flights to major cities. I know Houston has direct flights to Cartagena.


If you want to spend time with the family at home during this, use those long weekends for holidays that you would have been getting together for anyways without taking any PTO.


So, let us look at your timeline, say starting 1 September:
1 September: Meet the girl, fall in love, spend nine days getting to know her in person.


10 September to 10 January: You talk with her on Skype daily, call her cell (that can get expensive, fast), etc. The both of you talk and laugh a lot, you really enjoy each others company (And you are past the language barrier, right?) and you start to think you want to marry this girl.


20 January: You fly down for another ten day visit, burning another 40 hours of PTO(Oh, and realistically, this wait was far too long between visits). You propose to her, she says yes, everyone is happy. Now the real work begins. You spend half of your remaining trip with her gathering all the required documents, good luck.


1 Feb to 1 March: While keeping up with her on Skype, your work, your other obligations at home, you are in the process of petitioning for a Fiancée visa to bring her back. Well, after FINALLY gathering all the required documentation (I hope you brought a copy of the forms with you on the proposal visit, because she needs to sign a few of them) you get to mail them off along with a nice check (I think it is $800 or so right now, I get all the fees for different forms and such confused).


So, yay! Now you can relax. The forms are in the mail, and now all you have to do is.....wait, and wait, and wait.


1 October: Hey! You got lucky and all your paper work was in order already and they didn't reject your application because of any outstanding issues. Great! She is now scheduled for a Visa interview at the U.S. Embassy (NOT Consulate, Embassy). Well, the interview is for 1 December. She is going to need to get her medical screening done along with a few other things in late September. Make sure you bring copies of all your pictures together, transcripts of conversations, emails, phone bills, etc to show proof of a relationship.


25 November: You fly down to meet her in the city where the US Embassy is (Bogota, if Colombia).  Things might seem a bit different. I mean, you have not seen her in person for TEN months at this point. How things can and do change after so long apart.....  Anyways, she goes to the Visa interview. The after the interview they ask to see you in person before they will approve the application. You just happen to be right outside, so they see you that day. If all goes well, you'll have your approved Fiancee visa by Christmas!


10 January: She flies into DFW on her Fiancee visa. You meet her at the airport. If you are planning on meeting her at the airport and not flying with her, I would HIGHLY recommend you leave her a prepaid T-Mobile SIM with $100 in credit(Good for a year, 1000 Minutes) on it when you travel for the interview. This will allow her to talk to you and easily reach you if she needs anything or has any questions once she lands in the US(The SIM will just not work outside the US, so no worries about accidental overseas use).


You now have until 10 April to be married and file her Adjustment of Status. But wait.... You are having the wedding in the US? What about her family and friends that want to attend? I don't know about you, but I intend on having my wedding in the home country of my spouse. My parents would probably be the only ones to attend from my side, but that is not really important for me. The wedding is for the woman, not really for the man. I've never been one for extravagant ceremonies, so for me the whole wedding thing is really a matter of how SHE wants to do it. If you do have the wedding in the US and she is from Brazil, her parents attending will not be such a hassel. If she is from Colombia....well, you are rolling the dice.


Does such a scenario sound like the best way to do things to you? It certainly sounds ripe for disaster and failure to me.

[braziliangirl]

If you do have the wedding in the US and she is from Brazil, her parents attending will not be such a hassel. If she is from Colombia....well, you are rolling the dice.

I've heard there is a type of visa for the fiancee's family. Is that real?

[Woody]

BG, I know there is one for her children, under a certain age. As for families to attend weddings and such, I think it is just a plain tourist visa, but the justification helps. I could be wrong as I never investigated the subject in too much detail(Fiancée visa was never much of something I cared for, considering my previous statements on the wedding).

[Jedimaster]

I would search outside of Colombia. Colombianas for some reason, are NOT attracted to Asian Men. I'm not at all trying to discourage you. This is just a generalization I'm making from my own experience there. If you do go to Colombia Jamie (owner of Latin-Wife) is definitely your best bet; but I think even he will tell you the same thing.
 
I would try Peru, Honduras or Brazil. Brazil especially has a infinite number of gorgeous, intelligent, marriage minded women. It's just extremely expensive to travel and stay there.

Benjio,
 
I was sort of thinking the same thing.  It was my experience that Colombianas are also not attracted to short guys (although that is a different subject).

[Ray]

I've heard there is a type of visa for the fiancee's family. Is that real?

 
Nope...
 
 
 

[benjio]

Benjio,
Thanks for the well wishes....Realistically, I think I might be a middle of the roader from what you describe.  But deep down inside, I want to believe that I can be focused and strike should the opportunity be there where a girl is presents herself and she has all the major qualities I'm looking for without any major red flags.
 
Benjio,
Have you made a post/report about your experience with Baranquilla and Jamie's services?  I would like to hear how your adventure went down and if you met anyone that you had a relationship with?

If you go to Jamie's Homepage and read the longest trip report on the bottom of the Black Men's Experience page it details my first trip to Latin-Wife in August of 2008. A potential client of Jamie's I often communicate with that also lurks here read it the other day and couldn't believe how much my "tone" had changed between then and now. Although it may not appear that way from my posts I'm still very excited about Colombia and I love the country and the culture. I just have a better understanding of how things work now and a lot of those things can be obstacles in the way of the success of any sincere wife hunter...the exceptional beauty of Colombianas being the primary culprit.
 
I'm returning to Jamie's this month as more of a personal business/vacation trip but hopefully I can meet some ladies while I'm there. When you have the ability to spend as much time in Latin America as I do dating is not a huge rush project that has to be completed within your alotted vacation time. It's more like it is here in the states, natural, without so much pressure to proceed to the next level as an assurance of sincerity. Although I still meetup with the occasional girl from Colombian/Latin American Cupid, most of the women I meet SOTB these days are friends of friends, friends of co-workers, or just in passing. Ain't a bad gig at all!