Trip to Costa Rica

[pablito]

Well, here's my trip report from last January, better late than never I suppose.


As a refresher, I met my lady on Cupido last August, we agreed we wanted to meet after a few weeks time, and have been Skyping daily since the end of September.  I am a 40 year old Canadian civil servant, and she's a 41 year old elementary school teacher.  We both just seemed a very good fit from the get go, I have more in common with her (from growing up watching the Little Rascals and being Scouts, to tastes and personal preferences) than I ever imagined I'd have with someone from my own culture, even in my younger, more foolishly optimistic, days.


I arrived in San Jose in mid-January and she was there waiting at the airport.  We greeted, a bit formally, and went to her car, then we went to the appartment I'd found online but she'd reserved, getting it a discount from the online price and with parking for her car at no extra charge.  Everything was as advertised in the looks department (for both of us, she stated up front looks mattered to her, too), and neither of us felt any awkwardness at all even from the beginning.  It was just as natural as can be, the way "it's supposed to be".  Which again, was confirmation of how it had been all those months of video chatting.


Mostly we stayed in San Jose, walking and driving around, often to the San Pedro Mall.  That was the point though, we were essentially playing house, as in addition to showing me around town (zoo, gardens, amusent park, butterfly garden) we were getting groceries, cooking, domestic-type stuff, and as we're both homebodies that was fine and important to see how compatible we were.  She did all the driving, including a 3 and a half hour drivein the mountains to a lovely thermal hot springs and spa, called El Toucano, which has an awesome couples massage service, with time alone in the jacuzzi after the massage. 


She actually lives and teaches in Guapiles, a growing town in Limon, just the other side of Braulio Carrillo national park from San Jose.  We spent a couple of days at her home, I met some of her friends, she tried to teach me how to drive a standard, and we went to the EARTH, a big tropical agricultural research centre and university where I saw tree sloths up close and personal, among other things.


I also met her family, two sisters and a brother (all older), and her mom, not to mention her two children (18 and 20 and studying away from home) and cousins, nieces, nephews, etc.  They were all good solid people, middle class and close.  Apparently I won them all over.


One thing I'll mention is that not once in the entire two weeks did she get angry, even a little bit, not over the incredibly long ride through the mountains, not in the crappy traffic in Alajuela, not anything, except for the one time I stepped in it by pointing out another (attractive) woman in a not purposeful but stupid male sort of way, and that was quickly resolved without drama or hysterics.  Considering that her period started the day I showed up, that was pretty darn good.


Anyways, I'm going back in a little over a week, and hopefully she'll be coming up to visit me later this summer.  Oh, and we've been novios since the second night of the trip.  She had to basically ask me, in order to understand my intentions clearly, which was rather awkward for her as apparently it is always the guy who asks, never the girl.  So I took great pleasure whenever her friends or family asked about our relationship to tell them that we were novios, and that she'd asked me.

[dennislevy]

Lovely trip report......and good luck with her...she sounds like a terrific woman.


BTW, most latinas have considerabe pride do not like to be seen as begging or asking.


It may be better to leave the line of she asked me to be novios (and all that that implies) out of the mix when you talk to others.


Good luck! Adelante!


Dennis
Medellin, Colombia

[whitey]

Thanks for posting pablito ... sounds like you had a great trip and things are going very well.

Everything was as advertised in the looks department (for both of us, she stated up front looks mattered to her, too), and neither of us felt any awkwardness at all even from the beginning.  It was just as natural as can be, the way "it's supposed to be".  Which again, was confirmation of how it had been all those months of video chatting.

I've never understood how guys can email, text, video chat for months and then visit the woman and everything falls apart in moments.  It didn't go that way for you and me or UtopiaCowboy as I recall, but seems to happen for enough guys that someone doing this needs to keep it in mind.

One thing I'll mention is that not once in the entire two weeks did she get angry, even a little bit, not over the incredibly long ride through the mountains, not in the crappy traffic in Alajuela, not anything, except for the one time I stepped in it by pointing out another (attractive) woman in a not purposeful but stupid male sort of way, and that was quickly resolved without drama or hysterics.  Considering that her period started the day I showed up, that was pretty darn good.

Haha ... I'm lucky that I can still count on one hand how many times my wife has gotten mad at me (that I know of at least), and she's never yelled.  Always a good idea to plan vacations to avoid the monthly cycles.  For the newbies, latinas are pretty matter of fact about these things ... it wouldn't be considered rude to ask her before your trip and plan accordingly (assuming you've know each other for a few weeks).

Oh, and we've been novios since the second night of the trip.  She had to basically ask me, in order to understand my intentions clearly, which was rather awkward for her as apparently it is always the guy who asks, never the girl.  So I took great pleasure whenever her friends or family asked about our relationship to tell them that we were novios, and that she'd asked me.

Another good thing for the newbies to know ... you have to ask.  If you've spent a lot of time communicating before a trip, and lot of time together during the trip, she'll want to know your intentions before you leave.  So if you DON'T ask her to be novios, understand that she may not think you're serious and/or doubt your intentions.

Second night, huh?  She sure didn't waste any time!  I am very conservative ... I waited 8 days to ask my wife ...

Best of luck pablito ...

[pablito]

Lovely trip report......and good luck with her...she sounds like a terrific woman.


BTW, most latinas have considerabe pride do not like to be seen as begging or asking.


It may be better to leave the line of she asked me to be novios (and all that that implies) out of the mix when you talk to others.

Hi Dennis, and I've heard your good news, congratulations to you!


Yes, she is terrific as far as I'm concerned, and also very importantly she feels the same way about me.  And as aconcepts recently wrote, you don't have to guess when a Tica is into you, it is very evident.  Which is a good thing, for me!


I am aware of the pride, and the line of her asking me, I only used it a couple of times, with her immediate family and best friends.  It did two things, it communicated something to them that she was as interested in me as me in her, and it got her going in a good way, that lead to playful banter and good natured ribbing in front of everyone to see how well we got along.

[fathertime]

Hey Pablito!  It sounds like things are moving along real good for you...you are both already parents and know what sacrifice is about first hand and I'm sure that is very helpful!


I think it is very good you are getting your tail back there relatively soon.  I was a pretty fast mover when I decided I found the right woman for me.  I think it is a very good sign that your lady had a good attitude even when circumstances were unpleasant on that bus ride....


Yeah regarding pointing out other ladies good looks is not usually a good idea...the funny thing is if my wife asks me what I think of the looks of another lady, i'm pretty honest but afterwords she tells me I have HORRIBLE taste in judging women's looks! I mentioned that I thought she was very attractive, and she agrees that I got that is the only one I got right! LOL


Fathertime! 

[pablito]

Thanks for posting pablito ... sounds like you had a great trip and things are going very well.

I've never understood how guys can email, text, video chat for months and then visit the woman and everything falls apart in moments.  It didn't go that way for you and me or UtopiaCowboy as I recall, but seems to happen for enough guys that someone doing this needs to keep it in mind.

Yeah, I know my approach of the lengthy involvement and one woman visit is not the recommended one for good reason, it just seemed to work out that way and is an approach that I am more comfortable with on a personal level.  Trying to juggle meeting multiple women may be attractive to a lot of guys, but is my idea of a self-inflicted wound.

Haha ... I'm lucky that I can still count on one hand how many times my wife has gotten mad at me (that I know of at least), and she's never yelled.  Always a good idea to plan vacations to avoid the monthly cycles.  For the newbies, latinas are pretty matter of fact about these things ... it wouldn't be considered rude to ask her before your trip and plan accordingly (assuming you've know each other for a few weeks).

Yup, my upcoming trip is going to avoid that time of the month completely

Another good thing for the newbies to know ... you have to ask.  If you've spent a lot of time communicating before a trip, and lot of time together during the trip, she'll want to know your intentions before you leave.  So if you DON'T ask her to be novios, understand that she may not think you're serious and/or doubt your intentions.

Second night, huh?  She sure didn't waste any time!  I am very conservative ... I waited 8 days to ask my wife ...

Actually she is very conservative, which is why she asked.  Given how developed our relationship had developed pretty far before meeting, she explained to me that she had expected me to ask earlier, before the trip, precisely to gauge my intentions.  I explained to her that it wasn't that I hadn't thought about it, but that it seemed a bit odd to do before meeting in person, and she understood that.  So it had been bugging her for a while, it wasn't a one-day decision for her.  Also, she really wanted to establish where we stood, so that we could have derechos, because she had muchas ganas, it'd been a long time since she'd had some carino.

Best of luck pablito ...

Thanks whitey, and all my best to you and Nazly.

[pablito]

Hey Pablito!  It sounds like things are moving along real good for you...you are both already parents and know what sacrifice is about first hand and I'm sure that is very helpful!


I think it is very good you are getting your tail back there relatively soon.  I was a pretty fast mover when I decided I found the right woman for me.  I think it is a very good sign that your lady had a good attitude even when circumstances were unpleasant on that bus ride....


Yeah regarding pointing out other ladies good looks is not usually a good idea...the funny thing is if my wife asks me what I think of the looks of another lady, i'm pretty honest but afterwords she tells me I have HORRIBLE taste in judging women's looks! I mentioned that I thought she was very attractive, and she agrees that I got that is the only one I got right! LOL


Fathertime!

Hi FT, yes, things are moving along quite well, her attitude is always positive, and it's just so bloody refreshing a change, I can tell you. 


I was actually supposed to go back earlier, in March, with my kids (12 and 8, so part of the deal, unlike hers who are all grown up), but even though I have full custody I needed a letter from their mom, which was not forthcoming.  That's why the next trip after this one is her coming up her in July.  Although she has met my kids several times in Skype, and even my mom a couple of times.  It's nice to have someone who actually wants to meet your family and thinks it very important to do so for a change.

[aconcepts]

Hey Pablito,


Ticos are patient. Incredibly so and i am humbled by their patients and am still learning from them.


However, not getting mad can also be a sign of pent up aggression. Not saying it is, but... be careful there. My favorite women were the ones that knew how to fight fair. Not the ones that did not fight at all. But then again I am a spirited guy that like spirited women. Its harder that way but that's  just who I am. At least I know that.


I know all the areas of which you wrote. Sounds like you had a good time. Have been here many years. If you ever have questions about CR and some of the social mores here (which differ from country to country) or want any advice just ask or if write a personal message if you want to be discrete.


You seem like a sincere nice person and i wish you happiness and satisfaction in what ever form it arrives


cuidete


AC

[benjio]

Great trip report and best of luck to you and the new novia!

[fathertime]

Hi FT, yes, things are moving along quite well, her attitude is always positive, and it's just so bloody refreshing a change, I can tell you. 


I was actually supposed to go back earlier, in March, with my kids (12 and 8, so part of the deal, unlike hers who are all grown up), but even though I have full custody I needed a letter from their mom, which was not forthcoming.  That's why the next trip after this one is her coming up her in July.  Although she has met my kids several times in Skype, and even my mom a couple of times.  It's nice to have someone who actually wants to meet your family and thinks it very important to do so for a change.

Well pablito, it is too bad your ex wife didn't let you take the kids to costa rica, although it is not surprising...  So when you bring your lady to Canada, is it on a tourist visa?  I think that it is nice if you have that option to kinda feel out how the children and she interact.  How long is she staying with you?




Fathertime! 

[pablito]

Hi FT, yes it will be a temporary resident visa (I guess our tourist visa).  It should be an option, she's got a permanent position with the Ministry of Education, owns her house, car, etc. I've consulted an immigration attorney for advice and there's a lot of discretion on the part of the visa officer, so apparently it's always a bit of a crapshoot.  We are going to ask for a multiple entry visa, which would mean that she could come visit as often as she wants during it's period of validity, which could be as long as until the passport's expiry. 


She has three weeks off in July, which is how long I'd hope for the trip to last.  I figure a couple of weeks with the kids in daycamps so we have at least the days to ourselves, and then one week of everyone together Brady Bunch style, with maybe a trip to a cottage or something.