Called off trip with Agency

[LatinSharpei]

I am not getting a very good feeling from the Agency I was using... I paid them upfront and ever since I called to verify that they were set I can not seem to of pissed them off... Not sure where to go or what to do at this point... I am pretty much frustrated... I told them I am calling off the trip at this point...  I don't want to give up on the idea... I have everything set up for July I just do not know where or how to procede at this point... I looked at Amo Latina but that site seems like a scam and a sham  every girl on there is listed as a model and they want 15 dollars to read and respond to an email with a girl.  So I am back square one... Trying to figure out what to do... I have not heard good things about Colombian Sweethearts and from what I experienced with them they really are not worth the cash I would have to shell out to use them.   Pretty dang lost and upset that I was a fool and got taken but I guess I am a rookie and it's better to make this mistake now and recover then to blow the entire game.

[Micky]

LS -
 
Relax,  together we will get this straight.
 
Micky

[benjio]

I am not getting a very good feeling from the Agency I was using... I paid them upfront and ever since I called to verify that they were set I can not seem to of pissed them off... Not sure where to go or what to do at this point... I am pretty much frustrated... I told them I am calling off the trip at this point...  I don't want to give up on the idea... I have everything set up for July I just do not know where or how to procede at this point... I looked at Amo Latina but that site seems like a scam and a sham  every girl on there is listed as a model and they want 15 dollars to read and respond to an email with a girl.  So I am back square one... Trying to figure out what to do... I have not heard good things about Colombian Sweethearts and from what I experienced with them they really are not worth the cash I would have to shell out to use them.   Pretty dang lost and upset that I was a fool and got taken but I guess I am a rookie and it's better to make this mistake now and recover then to blow the entire game.

Wait, what agency are you using exactly? If it is CSW, I could have told you that buddy. If you mentioned an interest in using Colombian Sweethearts in the past on this board, I'm sorry but I missed it. I would have definitely PM'ed you and put you in touch with a couple of gringos that had VERY bad experiences there. One guy I know paid them A TON of money and although he met some girls, none of them were the ones he chose from the site. In my opinion Jamie runs the only 100% Get-What-You-Pay for Agency in Colombia. I would steer gringos away from any other agency. You would have done better getting in touch with Micki and winging it in Medellin.
 
From what I understand CSW has a new owner so maybe some things have changed, but I have yet to see anyone post a positive trip report on any Foreign Wife Discussion Board.

[Micky]

LS -
 

You did well to hit the brakes BEFORE the train went off the tracks!
Now,  you have three months before your trip,  that is about the perfect amount of time to get on LAC/CC and get to work.  Now you are free to go to any city on any timetable that fits YOU.  Between all of the guys here you can get good advice on all the major cities here,  where to go,  where not to go,  etc.  This way you hit it as hard or as easy as you want.  Meet a girl for lunch and if is not feeling right,  you are done and can move on to the next date.  If you meet a winner and it is feeling right for both of you,  cancel everyone else and party on.  That is one of the beauties of Colombia,  you miss a bus,  there is another one coming along VERY soon.  I would count the agency blowup,  now,  as a very good thing to happen.  Now you can get out your paper,  pencil and ruler and start drafting the LS plan of the century.  F in' A.
Bogota,  Cali,  Barranquilla,  Medellin,  there are enough guys here with knowledge of those places to help you out.  If I were you I would be happy.
 

Micky

[LatinSharpei]

Benjio
 
No I did not use CSW... I paid for a 100.00 to contact two girls and a few other services... Was not worth it... They were about as pleseant and in interested in me finding true love as I was interested in dating Sheep or other Farm animals...That was enough of a red flag to be like HELL NO!  I was using  ACW... I paid for it all up front... Room and Service.. I am only out 1200 bucks if they do not return it... Its hard earned money but hey... I can still play catch up for 3 months... I am the only Data Tech we have on nights so if I want OT I can have it when ever I want!  Guess I will work another 2 week straight period and make up for my losses, stupidity whatever the hell we wanna call it... Dang it!  I trusted them they were responsive all the way up to when I sent the money...   Anyway... I have no idea what to do where to go... I want this with a Colombiana so much... I want to meld the two cultures into one for birthdays and holidays so that we can have really cool family traditions that are fun forever... Frustration and hurt is what I feel now... I even had my family's blessings... They were like we know you want and are ready for a family... I can not even say a word about this or it could sour so much for my family... BOOO!!!

[LatinSharpei]

Micky...
 
So here is my questions for you... What is LAC and CC... I am not up to date with the abreviations... I was originally wanting to see Medellin but CSW was unhelpfull so I was like I have no idea what I would do or how I would do this... Is Medellin safe for me as a big ol white gringo?  I mean I played Semi Pro Football... I crapped on everyone's two yard line as a middle linebacker and the madder they got the more I laughed... LOL...   Needless to say I am a big strapping boy I am gonna stand out... Where do I stay if I go to Medellin?  How do I go about this right so that I have girls set up to meet?

[robert angel]

Benjio
 
  Guess I will work another 2 week straight period and make up for my losses, stupidity whatever the hell we wanna call it... Dang it!  I trusted them they were responsive all the way up to when I sent the money...   Anyway... I have no idea what to do where to go...

Some lessons learned here hopefully. Generalize what happened with your money here and apply it to a mindset that acknowledges that the majority of the women you meet, especially on-line, wouldn't mind in the slightest playing you and also parting you from your money.
 
Yes, you want it bad, but we're not talking instant hot chocolate here. Too often when we want something, we want it real bad. Then we overlook red flags and act impulsively. If you want something--someone good, it's best to assume it's going to take time and a few trips. Get aclimated, look, listen and learn, THEN  maybe you'll have a chance at avoiding the train wrecks that some even more seasoned guys here have nonetheless encountered. No exact figures, but the general assumption is that the failure to success rate isn't so great down there, but there are things you can do to better your odds. Slow down and do your homework first--this is the place to learn and is proof that there are still some good things that money can't buy. Good luck!!

[Micky]

LS -

1. -  Between Calipro and BenJ one or both may know the person who runs the agency that you paid and there is a chance your cash is not ALL gone.  We will see about that.

2. -  Latinamericancupid and Colombiancupid are two dating websites in the Cupid family.  They are very good as far as numbers,  cost,  etc..  There is a basic fee and the ball is in your court.  It is all on you to sort out the players and crap.  That being said,  there are plenty of real and "normal"  women that are looking for someone,  the same as you are.  It is not unlike the real world,  you will meet all types,  crazy,  stupid, player/scammers and honest,  intelligent,  hard working women who know what they want.  It does take time to sort through,  you will "think" that you found a "good one" only to find out that she is "crazy jealous",  and just wasted your time.  The positive is you do your work and you can find women that fit you and what you are looking for,  at least till you meet in person and see the real deal.

3. -  I have to take Mateo to Monteray to buy a cable for his laptop,  when I return I will get back on the job.
 

　
Micky

[Fuzzyone]

I am not getting a very good feeling from the Agency I was using... I paid them upfront and ever since I called to verify that they were set I can not seem to of pissed them off... Not sure where to go or what to do at this point... I am pretty much frustrated... I told them I am calling off the trip at this point...  I don't want to give up on the idea... I have everything set up for July I just do not know where or how to procede at this point... I looked at Amo Latina but that site seems like a scam and a sham  every girl on there is listed as a model and they want 15 dollars to read and respond to an email with a girl.  So I am back square one... Trying to figure out what to do... I have not heard good things about Colombian Sweethearts and from what I experienced with them they really are not worth the cash I would have to shell out to use them.   Pretty dang lost and upset that I was a fool and got taken but I guess I am a rookie and it's better to make this mistake now and recover then to blow the entire game.

   If you have to use a agency like several others I would use Jamies, it could a ton of money but at least you will get what you paid for. If not try Amigos.com it is a little work but you will find some girls there, just do not get caught in that girlfriend crap before you even visit them you will just get played.

[LatinSharpei]

They Contacted me yesterday and are trying to make this right... I told the person that contacted me why I called off the trip... I am waiting to see what their reply is... I try to give people a chance to explain thier side of things and all... Right now I am taking a wait and see approach... If I am wrong and it was a missundertstanding I will be the first to admit I did not understand where they are coming from... If things go really well with them when I go down there I will be the first to say that its okay... I guess we will see how things go.. I was told by a friend who has went down there that I can not expect the same sense of urgency that he and I run with in life down there... It will drive me crazy cause people take care of things in good time but not like it needed to be done yesterday like he and I do... Right now... We will see... No Clue of what I am gonna or am doing now... Time will unfold it all...

[InnocentVixen]

Hi Sharpei, I am sorry this is happening to you but keep in mind business in latinamerica are not usually like in the US, they can get too laid back, some from the start, some until they feel it's a sure thing, maybe that is what happened, I hope you can get your money back but if I was you I would no longer hire their services even if I did, what if they do something like this once you are there again?

I want this with a Colombiana so much... I want to meld the two cultures into one for birthdays and holidays so that we can have really cool family traditions that are fun forever...

I find this part interesting, how aware are you of colombian culture that you like it so much? or is it just latin culture in general? what ever happened with that colombiana you were planning to meet and were considering taking to San Andres? will any colombiana do? if so, you might as well just get on a plane and take the first one that throws herself at you, believe me there will be plenty!


I think it was you that posted that you hated making mistakes and that is understandable, is not nice but we have to make the most out of them... that way even if it doesn't pay off as you hoped at least you learned from it and that by itself it is a positive result that will take you closer to finding what you are looking for. It's better than the alternative which would be just sit there and do nothing.

[aconcepts]

Women smell desperation a mile away... "I wan't this so bad" is an invitation to get played... Lantin America is not the place for naivety...


I am so used to see Gringos on vacation here talking about prostitutes and players as if they are their "girlfriends," That tells me one of two things. The players are very good at what they do (and they are) and make those guys think they are into them, or, the guys are massaging their own egos because they are desperate and telling themselves stories eases the pain.


Don't be desperate. You need nobody to complete you.


Sometimes i talk to my buddies in the US and complain that at times I miss having a significant live-in other. Their reply is, hey! WTF! We are married and miserable, we want your life! Don't screw it up now! jajajaja.


My point - the grass ain't always greener. Just looks that way at times...


Enjoy the search. Take time to savor the road on the way to your destination.


That is what its all about.


I have traveled a bit and I have found out that the planning and anticipation and preparation is part of the fun and very important to a successful journey.


I mean look at me and this website. I came here to research Colombia, and although I am under appreciated and abused, i still have fun reading the crap i write!!! Jjajajajajajaja...


The journey my man the journey!


Don't throw your pearls to swine. So do your research first. yes figure it out, make contacts like I have done, I got a list a mile long of phone numbers and email from LAC, my doctor buddy back home can't believe it after I sent it to em. he says hes gonna call em! ha - he can;t speak a lick of Spanish and anyways I reversed the telephone numbers - hahahahah - hey - cover all bases I say!


Now my list is only the crem de la crem (with proper height to weight ration (wish I could find a way to measure ITC over the web (Inner Thigh Clearance- a devastatingly important variable) and if nothing else, LAC will make you bone up on Colombia geography. Actually i have learned a lot about places such as Cucuta, Bucaramanga, Santa Fe etc.. Beside the biggies such as Bog, Med, Cali, Cart & Barq.


Bone up before you bone down I say.....


Last thing on another long winded post.


Compared to Ticos you Americans get so frickin desperate. Why do you define yourself so by your women. My theory is (you knew I would have one) is that you just don't have any guy friends... So you want a woman to hang out with.


Big mistake.


yeah having the woman is good, but without any guy friends you are left with only her for company. Look if you start bearing your soul or talking guys stuff to a woman. 90% of the time they at some point use it against you. Plus they don't get it anyways - THEY ARE WOMEN... did you forget? They don't think like we do... remember?


So if you ain't got no friends and I know most of you don't (at least that have time to hang out), find a psychologist, join a martial arts program or find a good bartender in a classy bar. Not some dive where the bartender is a kid that doesn't speak English.


Don'y go belly aching to your woman about your miseries.. worst thing you can do.. Eventually it will come back to bite you.

[LatinSharpei]

IV....
I am by far desperate... I have the chance to date girls here... What I don't put up with any more is the horse[snip] American girls call love..  So taking the first one that throws herself at me is not an option... I refused to settle in my own backyard why would I go halfway across the Hemisphere to settle there.  I considered other cultures in S America... Brazilians speak portugese and I don't so that is not a good foundation for communication with the basic communication language being charades... I like the Mexican Culture and the look thier ladies have as well but with the recent political activities in Mexico it seems like the Guerillas moved north.    I chose Colombia because I am familiar with thier history.  In grad school my focus was US and Latin American relations... My 60 page thesis was that the US stunts Latin American countries Growth.   I won't get into defending my thesis here but that was the basis of it... I focuse with the History of Colombia, Mexico and Chile mainly in my points so obviously I know the history of those countries.  So it would make sense to go with what I understand...
I am probably still going to use the agency... I am down there for 3 weeks and am only using them for 1 at this point.  The plan was to meet the girls that I wanted to and go on dates for the first week and make a decision based on how the first week went...I was planning or thinking of take the girl that I chose to San Andres the last couple days I was there.  They guys advised me it would not be a good idea as I would be setting expectations that are not realistic as well as setting the girl up for disappointment...From what I am reading on here it's not as easy as TV with the Bachelor and making choices based on chemistry and moving forward... 
I am taking the process very seriously...  This is a decision that I am not making lightly... I believe that I am making a choice tht is based on forever so picking the hottest one or whatever squirrely other criteria that a guy can come up with is not what I am basing my desicion on... I have starting thinking about the kinds of questions that I want to and will ask.. Obviously over time...

[InnocentVixen]

I never said you were desperate, just trying to cheer you up reminding you that there will be plenty to choose from once you are there regardless if you decide to use X agency or dating site or whatever and that you can take as little or as long to make up your mind about one of them!


I didn't mean to sound rude, I was just teasing you a little by your use of the word colombiana, like you were dead set on having this with a colombiana (which actually some are) and in a way reminding you that you can have this with a woman from any country out there as long as she is right for you.


This is certainly not a game, just keep in mind it is not a job or interview either, it is good that you are serious and are thinking about things to ask to keep the conversation going and get to know someone better, but if there is chemistry things should fall into place once you are face to face


I am sure you will be fine.

[Calipro]

I am not getting a very good feeling from the Agency I was using... I paid them upfront and ever since I called to verify that they were set I can not seem to of pissed them off... Not sure where to go or what to do at this point... I am pretty much frustrated... I told them I am calling off the trip at this point...  I don't want to give up on the idea... I have everything set up for July I just do not know where or how to procede at this point... I looked at Amo Latina but that site seems like a scam and a sham  every girl on there is listed as a model and they want 15 dollars to read and respond to an email with a girl.  So I am back square one... Trying to figure out what to do... I have not heard good things about Colombian Sweethearts and from what I experienced with them they really are not worth the cash I would have to shell out to use them.   Pretty dang lost and upset that I was a fool and got taken but I guess I am a rookie and it's better to make this mistake now and recover then to blow the entire game.

Have no idea how much you paid them or for what....I told you how to deal with these agencies....agree upon a per cita (date) price and pay them when the chick shows up.
You just don't give enough details for me to give you any more specific advice then that.

[Zon]

You need nobody to complete you.

HEAR ... HEAR

[aconcepts]

Once you get to Latin America you see that the "i need someone to complete me and my soul mate and I need to marry for intuitive love" is not prevalent like the States. People here marry their friends from childhood. They marry people that raise their standard of living. They marry people because they are interesting. I think most Ticos/as marry for function rather than a whimsical idea out of a chick movie.


Look there are many reason to marry. Mostly for me its children, so I think about genetics. But some people marry for companionship, That's legitimate. Some marry for comfort. That's legitimate. I think picking a mate for intuitive love makes your chances of finding someone slim.


I fulfill my relationship needs with different people. Its tough depending on one person to be your guy friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your psychologist, you bar buddy, your intellectual stimulus, you lover, your cook, etc...

[LatinSharpei]

Calipro,
 
Most of that money was for the Hotel... They took care of me rate wise as far as getting dates set up... I was pleased with the price.  I felt what they did was more than fair.  I guess we will see in the end if I get what I am looking for and expecting.  I am still holding my breath that things are going to get straightened out... If they don't I am going to make some changes to the trip... But for the moment.. I think the mature thing to do is give them the chance to respond... I am always an actions speak louder than words person.. So I need to stay and hold true to form.

[beginthebeguin]

aconcepts said:

I fulfill my relationship needs with different people. Its tough depending on one person to be your guy friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your psychologist, you bar buddy, your intellectual stimulus, you lover, your cook, etc...

I would settle for a wife who was decent cook. jaajaja However no sex in the cocina, that stuff shown in the movie '9 Weeks' just ain't sanitary. 

[Researcher]

    LS, remember you are doing business in a foreign country. Once they have your money it is usually over for them, they achieved their goal. The trick is figuring out a way to have strings attached to the money they make. A portion up front and the rest when they deliver. Otherwise don't expect good service once they have your money. I usually never spent more than I could afford to flush down the crapper because it is a gamble. I figured if they screwed me over I would give them as much bad publicity as I could. Anywho, good luck.


  Researcher

[Calipro]

Calipro,
 
Most of that money was for the Hotel... They took care of me rate wise as far as getting dates set up... I was pleased with the price.  I felt what they did was more than fair.  I guess we will see in the end if I get what I am looking for and expecting.  I am still holding my breath that things are going to get straightened out... If they don't I am going to make some changes to the trip... But for the moment.. I think the mature thing to do is give them the chance to respond... I am always an actions speak louder than words person.. So I need to stay and hold true to form.

? "Most of the money was for the Hotel" ?


You gave a marriage agency money to get you a hotel room?  Seems to me you should have booked your hotel yourself....anyway interesting to see how that works out for you....can't imagine that you are getting the best rate with marriage agency acting as a middle man for your accommodations.

[robert angel]

IV....
I am by far desperate... I have the chance to date girls here... What I don't put up with any more is the horse[snip] American girls call love..  So taking the first one that throws herself at me is not an option... I refused to settle in my own backyard why would I go halfway across the Hemisphere to settle there.  I considered other cultures in S America... Brazilians speak portugese and I don't so that is not a good foundation for communication with the basic communication language being charades... I like the Mexican Culture and the look thier ladies have as well but with the recent political activities in Mexico it seems like the Guerillas moved north.    I chose Colombia because I am familiar with thier history.  In grad school my focus was US and Latin American relations... My 60 page thesis was that the US stunts Latin American countries Growth.   I won't get into defending my thesis here but that was the basis of it... I focuse with the History of Colombia, Mexico and Chile mainly in my points so obviously I know the history of those countries.  So it would make sense to go with what I understand...
I am probably still going to use the agency... I am down there for 3 weeks and am only using them for 1 at this point.  The plan was to meet the girls that I wanted to and go on dates for the first week and make a decision based on how the first week went...I was planning or thinking of take the girl that I chose to San Andres the last couple days I was there.  They guys advised me it would not be a good idea as I would be setting expectations that are not realistic as well as setting the girl up for disappointment...From what I am reading on here it's not as easy as TV with the Bachelor and making choices based on chemistry and moving forward... 
I am taking the process very seriously...  This is a decision that I am not making lightly... I believe that I am making a choice tht is based on forever so picking the hottest one or whatever squirrely other criteria that a guy can come up with is not what I am basing my desicion on... I have starting thinking about the kinds of questions that I want to and will ask.. Obviously over time...

I found that more often than not, in talking to women in different nations (C. & S. America, European, Asian and former USSR nations) that even if I was abreast of their political situation, that my comments weren't much appreciated. Ditto on religion. 
 
It's always good to like her nation's culture overall, especially because you're probably going to be traveling back there occasionally if you wed. If you disdain many things about her country, inevitably it will show and create tensions.
 
I noticed that my knowing some of her nation's history was sometimes appreciated and was often met with surprise, but overall, I wouldn't recommend going in that direction too much either. Most women I met on-line did not like talking about politics and economics, although to 'be nice' sometimes they went along with it. Some did like to talk and educate me about their history, cultural things of pride, holidays and such. That gave me a chance to ask 'safe' questions.
 
Which leads to that subject---"questions". Sometimes we're so stoked and excited with someone who seems in synch with us, that we quickly lay out what WE want. Then without even realizing it, we're telling and asking--giving clear indicators of what we want and allowing them to perfectly play along as being the perfect potential partner, whether or not that's their true inclinations.
 
Don't lead with all your questions and statements--try to 'pull' information from her answers more.
 
So I would recommend being careful about putting too much out about what your hopes and dreams really are, especially in the first weeks. It's suprisingly easy to convey to someone in a short time that you, to just use one scenario as an example, want: A 4 bedroom house with a split bedroom plan, the picket fence, 2 children, maybe three--a wife who works part time with an option for working full time, etc. etc. Say these things and she may well say "Amazing--that's EXACTLY what I want too!!"
 
I think it bodes well for the long term if you can ask HER probing questions BEFORE you reveal too much of yourself. That extends to subjects like having or not having kids (sooner or later) money handling, religion and sex--sensuality and more.
 
N. Americans (USA) kind of already have a worldwide reputation as being 'know it alls' and as being uptight, obsessed with being 'number one' yet not being seen as such nearly as much in other nations as of late. A lot of people abroad think that besides our weak currency, the USA as a whole is slipping, while other nations such as Australia, Brazil  and Korea are rising. Politics and economics are unfortunately a big part of our 'bad reputation' in many other parts of the world and I think going 'low key' on initiating conversation on these topics is good advice. Have pride in the USA, but don't come off as boastful and bragging. I'd say....

[fathertime]

Calipro,
 
Most of that money was for the Hotel... They took care of me rate wise as far as getting dates set up... I was pleased with the price.  I felt what they did was more than fair.  I guess we will see in the end if I get what I am looking for and expecting.  I am still holding my breath that things are going to get straightened out... If they don't I am going to make some changes to the trip... But for the moment.. I think the mature thing to do is give them the chance to respond... I am always an actions speak louder than words person.. So I need to stay and hold true to form.

hey sharpei!


Even if you have made a few minor errors along the way, you have made one EXCELLENT decision and that was the decision to get on the plane and visit the babes in Colombia...I might suggest that you run things by people here if you have any logistical questions, because between all of us, we have probably seen about everything...   You upcoming trip sounds a lot like my very first trip to Cali when I used "All Colombian Girls"...although they are not the greatest but they are ok...you gotta really learn how to be very assertive when you are there...if you are not getting the attention you need, you got to speak up and keep the pressure on whichever agency you are using...I remember when I first started this venture, I was still a little too nice a guy at times...I thought I was being assertive enough but I would be a helluva lot more assertive now!  When you are there, you make sure they are lining up dates from every angle and in advance...and try to talk to the lady on the phone if possible.  I think that will cut down on the no show factor which does happen a little too frequently. 


Good luck!
Fathertime! 

[fathertime]

Once you get to Latin America you see that the "i need someone to complete me and my soul mate and I need to marry for intuitive love" is not prevalent like the States. People here marry their friends from childhood. They marry people that raise their standard of living. They marry people because they are interesting. I think most Ticos/as marry for function rather than a whimsical idea out of a chick movie.


Look there are many reason to marry. Mostly for me its children, so I think about genetics. But some people marry for companionship, That's legitimate. Some marry for comfort. That's legitimate. I think picking a mate for intuitive love makes your chances of finding someone slim.


I fulfill my relationship needs with different people. Its tough depending on one person to be your guy friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your psychologist, you bar buddy, your intellectual stimulus, you lover, your cook, etc...

I agree.  I think that in many of these overseas marriages, the love must grow after being together and that it is not same as those corny gay chick movie type marriages for young men/women...(I think it is better actually)  I'm really not knocking that type of marriage but as most of the men here are at minimum late 30's and up, what we bring to the marriage is much different than a young 22 year old, which is often the subject matter for those corny chick flick movies.   If a man brings maturity/consideration/patience...that is very important...just like good looks were important in the late teens and the 20's.   


Fagthertime!