Trip planned gimme the advice guys!

[LatinSharpei]

So I  finally have my dates planned for my trip... I am going from July 3rd till the 20th... I am wondering a few things...
 
Safety in Cali... I am not worried about getting mugged I mean that [snip] happens here in the US... What I am worried about is being kidnapped... Is that a silly fear or how realistic?
I am paying for my place ahead of time.  So If I come down with a budget of 200 a day to eat date and taxi on is that enough?  Am I being a cheap scate?
Is that enough time to get something developed and started with a girl?  I have more Vacation time I could use but I was thinking I might need a day here or there if I do deciede on paperwork and a K1 visa...
Can I get some suggestions on things that a gringo should see in Cali?  Fun places to go?  Or is the girl I meet gonna take control of all that stuff?
Lastly... I am down there for real intensions to make something that is going to last and her eventually end up  my wife... If I wanted to go play I have other avenues in the states that are cheaper than this to just be a playboy... In your opinion.. Should I just shelf that and wait till marriage or is it okay??  Not morally inside you and I but inside her...  I don't want to burn down a bridge I want to cross forever over a moment we both lost our heads on.. I guess I am trying to understand culture...

[InnocentVixen]

Or is the girl I meet gonna take control of all that stuff?

It's up to you, usually latinas will offer suggestions if they see the guy is completely clueless as to what to do next but will appreciate you take the lead, if the woman is a bit on the bossy side and instead of giving suggestions starts to bark off orders I would be worried.

In your opinion.. Should I just shelf that and wait till marriage or is it okay??  Not morally inside you and I but inside her...  I don't want to burn down a bridge I want to cross forever over a moment we both lost our heads on.. I guess I am trying to understand culture...

I don't understand this question and I would guess you are talking about colombian culture... but if you are talking about sex my guess is if she has some self respect she wouldn't sleep with a guy unless she wanted to and when she is ready, there is no rule, even if she was a religious virgin and she decided to sleep with you before marriage it is her choice, just like it is your choice to go through with it, takes two.

[Micky]

$200 a day - Come to Medellin and date me!
 
That should be plenty.  You are not very clear on some things.  You already know a women there that you are going to meet and spend time with?  You should read the past trip reports here and give yourself an idea of how things have gone for other guys.  They are all over the map.  Some go and their first trip is just to get their feet wet,  others have dates lined up and have a plan.  Others yet use dating agencies and have some of the work done for them.  It all depends on who you are and what you want.  At least you have a few months to educate yourself and you will have a better idea of how you want to do things.
Best to you and "Getting on the plane",  you have set up the most important step.
 
Micky

[Calipro]

So I  finally have my dates planned for my trip... I am going from July 3rd till the 20th... I am wondering a few things...
 
Safety in Cali... I am not worried about getting mugged I mean that [snip] happens here in the US... What I am worried about is being kidnapped... Is that a silly fear or how realistic?
I am paying for my place ahead of time.  So If I come down with a budget of 200 a day to eat date and taxi on is that enough?  Am I being a cheap scate?
Is that enough time to get something developed and started with a girl?  I have more Vacation time I could use but I was thinking I might need a day here or there if I do deciede on paperwork and a K1 visa...
Can I get some suggestions on things that a gringo should see in Cali?  Fun places to go?  Or is the girl I meet gonna take control of all that stuff?
Lastly... I am down there for real intensions to make something that is going to last and her eventually end up  my wife... If I wanted to go play I have other avenues in the states that are cheaper than this to just be a playboy... In your opinion.. Should I just shelf that and wait till marriage or is it okay??  Not morally inside you and I but inside her...  I don't want to burn down a bridge I want to cross forever over a moment we both lost our heads on.. I guess I am trying to understand culture...

There is no realistic chance of you getting kidnapped within the city limits of Cali by FARC anyway....."paseo millionario"  is a possibility if you get in the wrong cab.


If you are dead set on finding a wife in a couple of weeks why not go to the TLC tour that starts on the 21st of June.  [size=78%]http://tlcworldwide.com/[/size]


Cali isn't your typical tourist city so you will have to depend on you girl to show you around and make recommendations.....if she is on the poorer side even she won't have a clue as to the best places to go.....so your experience here will vary widely based on what type of chick you date.


For the most part Calenas don't have many hang ups about sex.....especially if there is the possibility of it working out into something long term. Wouldn't count on gaining any points for sincerity by not sleeping with her and you are 100 times more likely to close the deal if you can make her see stars. jajaja

[fathertime]

So I  finally have my dates planned for my trip... I am going from July 3rd till the 20th... I am wondering a few things...
 
Safety in Cali... I am not worried about getting mugged I mean that [snip] happens here in the US... What I am worried about is being kidnapped... Is that a silly fear or how realistic?
I am paying for my place ahead of time.  So If I come down with a budget of 200 a day to eat date and taxi on is that enough?  Am I being a cheap scate?
Is that enough time to get something developed and started with a girl?  I have more Vacation time I could use but I was thinking I might need a day here or there if I do deciede on paperwork and a K1 visa...
Can I get some suggestions on things that a gringo should see in Cali?  Fun places to go?  Or is the girl I meet gonna take control of all that stuff?
Lastly... I am down there for real intensions to make something that is going to last and her eventually end up  my wife... If I wanted to go play I have other avenues in the states that are cheaper than this to just be a playboy... In your opinion.. Should I just shelf that and wait till marriage or is it okay??  Not morally inside you and I but inside her...  I don't want to burn down a bridge I want to cross forever over a moment we both lost our heads on.. I guess I am trying to understand culture...

200 a day is more than enough


i would try to make as many determinations as possible about where to go and what to do...i would not let the woman start making all these decisions....but you do need to know of places to go before you decide, so do you have a contact person in Cali?  it has been a while since i have been to cali...i liked the small waterpark and various pools....In my opinion it really is helpful to have that contact person, unless you are just able to start talking to people out of the blue...


you can definitely get something started with a gal in the time period you stated.


Fathertime!

[V_Man]

I can't see you being kidnapped inside Cali.
You should call for a cab to avoid the "paseo millionario". Personally I didn't follow this rule and I never had a problem but I was with a local girl 24/7 so if I was on my own I'd be more careful. I learnt to lock the door when I got inside a cab.
You could perhaps be drugged in a nightclub but I also think this is a very small risk because you sit at a specific table with your friends.

Actually the girl I was with was so worried about my saftey the whole time I was more on edge than I would have been otherwise. I never had any bad or threating experience in Cali. I had several strangers go a long way out of their way to help me enjoy their city.

The first things you'll visit are probably Cristo Rey, the Cat park and places like that where you can take pictures.
What I suggest is get her to take you places but always make it your initative. So tell her that you want to vist something in/close to Cali. Ask her for a few ideas then pick one and tell her to take you there. So you are taking the lead and making the decisions even though you are relying on her to advise you and get you there.

What she wont realise is that the juggler at the traffic lights is going to be a new little experience for you whereas Juan Valdez will just be another cafe in your eyes.

I went to places outside Cali the day after I arrived but I wouldn't recommend you do that. Settle in a little before you venture too far and only leave the city limits with a local. I was in some little towns outside Cali after dark and felt completely safe. But you need local knowledge of which towns and roads are safe to visit.
Also there are some parts of the city to the East that you want to stay out of.
You'll see homeless people in the city. Keep your distance from them because occasionally they can be pushy. You'd have issues if you lived like them too.

 You just need common sense and you'll be fine.

You'll notice lots of police in Cali. They wear green but they are policemen only. I always found them to be friendly and helpful. I was told that this did not mean they were above corruption.

Realistically your biggest dangers are being run over by accident and food poisoning. You'll discover what I mean about the traffic as soon as you enter the city. I never had a problem with the food or water in Cali but it is a good idea to be caucious for the first few days.

The time frame you have is a good length of time. I'd keep an option up my sleeve to take a side trip up to the coffee region or somewhere for a week during that time. but that's just me.

Now that you have dates and plane tickets, talk to girls online and setup dates for your visit on your own. You can still use an agency as well.

You are going to have a great time!!!
Good luck.

[LatinSharpei]

I am using an agency... I feel like things are moving very well with them.  They are taking care of me and answering my questions and emails almost daily.  I don't expect responses on the weekends... Not sure if they work.  They are helping me set up a profile there so I can get some attention ahead of time.  I am glad that I am not on the cheap side on the money thing... I hate going on any vacation and being like well I have to pick between this and that... Its Vacation I am supposed to say [snip] it lets have fun...  So here is the Newb in me not understanding things... You guys were saying that I should line some dates up on ahead of time.  Well... I thought agencies screen the girls so you get girls that are sincere about leaving Colombia... I don't wanna waste a trip just getting physical with a good looking girl... I am coming down there with the serious intentions of finding someone.  I guess I have started to come up with questions that I want to ask the girls in that initial meeting...  So I guess the rest is just a waiting game... I hate this part... I am such an impatient person but this was when I could leave for a month at work and not have management grumbling and not hosing over my fellow employees...  It's too bad I could not get ahold of a certain girl at a different agency... I wanted to get to know her but no responses from the agency so I have to assume it's gone...   But from what I gather I will have girls ready to meet me on July 4th as I arrive at 7:30 at night on the 3rd... By the time I get through customs to my place I am staying I am sure it will be like 9:00... Too late to meet anyone...
I am gonna be cooped up in an airplane that whole day...Thinking I might wanna go out that night.. I kinda have sworn to not go after I meet my girl ever again but is and are strip clubs any good down there and are they dangerous??  Or does that put a black mark on me and are they nothing but trouble there???

[Jeff S]

If you'd like some advice....


Don't be so serious and one-track focused about the whole thing. Travel with the idea that you will enjoy yourself, meet new people, experience a new culture, taste some new food, and maybe meet your dream girl. Think more vacation to have fun than business trip for the sole purpose of finding a wife. Yes, have the agency line up pre-screened, serious girls, but also do a little fishing on your own. Get on amigos.com or other social networking sites and connect with a few - not only ones who have serious long-term relationship goals, but others who you can befriend, maybe they'll want to introduce you to their sisters, cousins or best friends. You'd be surprised how effective a PM saying, "I'm planning to be in ___ on ____" will be, as there are so many fakers and game players on sites like that.


As for going to strip clubs - geez - you can do that where ever you live. What kind of people do you expect to meet there? On the other hand, I guess it depends on your own lifestyle. If you're in an outlaw biker gang and only hang out in strip clubs and such, maybe that's the place to be when you travel. How about attending church socials, museum tours, nature lectures, university events, and things like that? Great places to meet people, and the kind of people who might be long term friends or lovers.  Of course, that's my way of doing things, who some people think is elitist and snobby.


Just my 2 cents worth. Good luck however you plan to do it.


- Jeff

[Calipro]

I am using an agency... I feel like things are moving very well with them.  They are taking care of me and answering my questions and emails almost daily.  I don't expect responses on the weekends... Not sure if they work.  They are helping me set up a profile there so I can get some attention ahead of time.  I am glad that I am not on the cheap side on the money thing... I hate going on any vacation and being like well I have to pick between this and that... Its Vacation I am supposed to say [snip] it lets have fun...  So here is the Newb in me not understanding things... You guys were saying that I should line some dates up on ahead of time.  Well... I thought agencies screen the girls so you get girls that are sincere about leaving Colombia... I don't wanna waste a trip just getting physical with a good looking girl... I am coming down there with the serious intentions of finding someone.  I guess I have started to come up with questions that I want to ask the girls in that initial meeting...  So I guess the rest is just a waiting game... I hate this part... I am such an impatient person but this was when I could leave for a month at work and not have management grumbling and not hosing over my fellow employees...  It's too bad I could not get ahold of a certain girl at a different agency... I wanted to get to know her but no responses from the agency so I have to assume it's gone...   But from what I gather I will have girls ready to meet me on July 4th as I arrive at 7:30 at night on the 3rd... By the time I get through customs to my place I am staying I am sure it will be like 9:00... Too late to meet anyone...
I am gonna be cooped up in an airplane that whole day...Thinking I might wanna go out that night.. I kinda have sworn to not go after I meet my girl ever again but is and are strip clubs any good down there and are they dangerous??  Or does that put a black mark on me and are they nothing but trouble there???

You don't give a lot of information....Did you already pay the agency?   Always recommend that you try to negotiate a per date price that approaches the price you would pay if they all show up....that way the agency is motivated to get the girls that are harder to reach because they might be the ones you really want to see most.
Have no idea the depth of screening you think the agencies do......If you are expecting some kind of match making you could be in for a disappointment.... it has been my experience that you really shouldn't expect the agency to do much more than put the woman in front of you and then you are pretty much on your own...and if you pay the agency fee up front there really isn't an incentive to work hard to get every chick you want to meet unless you negotiate a per date price or offer to tip the secretary of the agency when she hooks you up with the ones you really want to meet.


Personally I think one of the best ways to get to know a chick is to get physical....You won't even scratch the surface on really getting to know someone in a week or two but at least you can determine if you are compatible in the bedroom when you find one you really like that seems interested in you.


Forget strip clubs......the US style strip club where girls dance and guys just gawk is a foreign concept in Colombia.....if you go to a club were the girls are stripping then they are also selling their a$$......the whole idea of looking at hot chicks and not being able to have it just doesn't exist anywhere in Colombia.....so the chicks in those places are all prostitutes without exception. And it would be a hell of lot more of a waste of time and money going there than just plain sleeping with a chick that you might want to marry.

[Fuzzyone]

  What ever you do do not eat the food from those little road side food places. I got so sick from one in Barranquilla I thought I was going to die. The food did taste good until I realized I came down with food posioning!

[benjio]

  What ever you do do not eat the food from those little road side food places. I got so sick from one in Barranquilla I thought I was going to die. The food did taste good until I realized I came down with food posioning!

Some are okay. You just have to know where to go.
 
You definitley have a point though Fuzzy..especially if your digestive system has not acclimated to the wide variety of "Colombian Seasonings" you'll encounter eating street vendor food. About a year and a half ago I stayed with my ex's family in Barranquilla for about three weeks. There was a guy in their neighborhood that sold whole Rotisserie Chickens on the side of the road. Each day I would walk to the corner to meet my ex coming from work during lunch time, and the guy sold chickens to people getting off the bus on the same corner. Their was one very peculiar looking chicken with the legs split open and spread away from the body. I would look at it everyday and think to myself, "I wonder if that chicken was like that when he was alive." For the entire three weeks, I saw that guy warming up the same chicken under a heat lamp everyday with the expectation of selling it. The fact that he was attempting to sell meat that had probably gone bad days before didn't dawn on me until after I left.

[V_Man]

I ate some selected things from a road side vendor in Cali. A couple of times I ate some fruit that was opened and prepared in front of my eyes. Once I ate some roasted corn. A couple of times I had those flat crispy waffle things (forgot their name). So watch carefully how it is stored and prepared and you should be OK. I wouldn't risk meat.
The water in Cali is treated and probably safe. After a few days I drank it from the tap inside the new appartment I was in. (i.e. new plumbing).

[michaelb]

those flat crispy waffle things (forgot their name).

arepa

[V_Man]

arepa

No. Not arepas. The thin flat wafer things that you put honey on.

[V_Man]

Sorry not honey...
Now I remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obleas con arequipe.

 

[benjio]

Sorry not honey...
Now I remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obleas con arequipe.

 

Those things are delicious!! They sell them in primarily Colombian areas of New York City and Miami but I don't think you can get them anywhere else in the world outside of Colombia and Venezuela. It's sort of like a really thin wafer cookie with caramel honey. Really good!

[fathertime]

.
I am gonna be cooped up in an airplane that whole day...Thinking I might wanna go out that night.. I kinda have sworn to not go after I meet my girl ever again but is and are strip clubs any good down there and are they dangerous??  Or does that put a black mark on me and are they nothing but trouble there???

If you are interested in visiting strip joints in Colombia, you are not likely ready to get married.  From my perspective, and trying to look at it from your position, the strip joints would be like giving up and accepting the consolation prize.  If I were you, I wouldn't enter the trip with hitting the strip joints on your mind, assuming you are looking to strike up a relationship with a lady with the potential of marriage.


Fathertime!

[LatinSharpei]

I did not know they were like whore houses... I try to not pay for that... I was just looking for some place to get out and hang out the first night...