End of relationships

[Gato4Astrid]

Just want to let you know that I predict the end of my relationships with Astrid soon.  Things aren't going very well between us.


On to my future, I do not know whether I will go back to Colombia (maybe to Jamie's) or to look elsewhere.  I don't mind Russian/Ukrainian, but looking for a Pinay isn't for me.


Maybe Peru is on the card!

[cltrader]

Sorry to hear that.  I Wish you the best

[JWR]

Sorry to hear things aren't going the way you planned.
 
Long distance without a real clear plan and strategy for eventually being together just won't fly.  It takes alot of motivation on both parts.  Doesn't sound like she was as motivated as you.
 
After spending time in Russia, and being with a Russian women, I encourage you to skip that one.  There are two compassionate and understanding women left in Russia, and they are already married.
 
You said you aren't interested in the Philippines.....it's a long way, and I think if you don't have time and money to make several trips there, that is a waste of time anyway.  The internet meeting sites are absolutely filled with scammers, and low level eventual beggars.  Some are so skilled that you won't get the money pitch until you have wasted alot of time.
 

Just want to let you know that I predict the end of my relationships with Astrid soon.  Things aren't going very well between us.


On to my future, I do not know whether I will go back to Colombia (maybe to Jamie's) or to look elsewhere.  I don't mind Russian/Ukrainian, but looking for a Pinay isn't for me.


Maybe Peru is on the card!

[Zon]

Can you please clarify ...


How many days in real life did you spend with this woman?   During the absence did you provide assistance / support?   Was there a clear plan and expectations in place?


Best of luck ...

[Chris F]

 Sorry to hear about your relationship. Having said that, I am really not surprised at all it did not work out.
 
From what I can recall, it’s been a year if not more since you have seen her in Colombia? International Relationships require a certain amount of face to face time during the courting phase. The vast majority will not survive with this amount of time passing between trips.
 
What is the reason you did not go back to see her sooner?
 

[Tanuki]

Gato,
 
Sorry to hear things are not going well with your relationship.  Which ever way it goes for you, I wish you the best.

[Dan Las Vegas]

Sorry to hear that things are not going well, but as other posters have stated, it is very difficult to have a sucessful relationship without the face to face time, I don't remember the last time you were in Colombia, but I think it was quite some time ago.  I wish you luck in the future
Dan LV

[Gato4Astrid]

No offence, but I am not going to tell you why the relationships did not work out, because I do not want to be like Jason Voorhees who got attacked by many of you.

But you, Chris F, you are really being  very negative for saying "I am really not surprised at all it did not work out" .


Chris F, you are wrong!  Actually, I am very successful, because I did not have to marry her!!


Chris F / DLV, the last time I was in Colombia was last year, but you seem to think the relationships did not work out because I did not see her that often, but actually you are wrong.  It doesn't make any difference if I have seen her 12 times a year or once a year, because she has to pass English A1 in order to live with me in England  (British Embassy's new law from 29th November 2010).  That was the real plan.  I have never plan to live in Colombia - not at least when I am not retired.   I had planned to see her 3 more times last year, only if she showed me that she had learnt English.

Chris F, makes no difference who my next girlfriend is, you always seem to think the relationships will not work out.... that's why you were being nosey sometimes ago, asking me that sort of question in a posting.

[Zon]

you have always seemed to me to be a DAMN NICE GUY - maybe too nice for this adventure?


Colombian women have a very low ability to delay life and gratification.  The entire rhythm of Colombian life is in the moment.   i have often remarked to myself that the decision making process is child-like for this single reason.  If I man can not become a part of a woman's life - I mean leave a mark in a very real way, complete with checks and balances and accountability - any long term success seems far fetched.


I had a friend who "married" a lady from the DR.  He was able to visit her every other month, and pay rent, and kids school, and other things.  But, when the economy went to hell, he lost much of his financial flexibility.  He did not see her for over a year!  (There were always good, valid reasons.  He continued to pay for many things, AND they spoke on the phone 2 - 3 times a day)  I saw her while I  was in the DR on a business trip, and I could tell that my friend was living a fantasy.  I turned out to be 100% correct. 


Absence does not work with Colombianas.  Does anybody know of an exception?  Colombianas are very untrusting of men in the best of cases.  And that is for good reason - first and second hand life experiences.   More than that, a man can not assume a relationship of equals, slightly negotiating from afar as if the relationship will become closer and more real.   That only happens in real life - not a vacation - and face to face.

[fathertime]

Well Gato, if it isn't meant to be, hopefully you can take something away from this relationship that you can use to make your next one better.  Do you think you learned something from being in this relationship, that will make your next relationship better/lasting?


BTW: Dan las vegas,  The new avatar is intriguing, I like it! 


Fathertime! 

[Chris F]

No offence, but I am not going to tell you why the relationships did not work out, because I do not want to be like Jason Voorhees who got attacked by many of you.

But you, Chris F, you are really being  very negative for saying "I am really not surprised at all it did not work out" .


Chris F, you are wrong!  Actually, I am very successful, because I did not have to marry her!!


Chris F / DLV, the last time I was in Colombia was last year, but you seem to think the relationships did not work out because I did not see her that often, but actually you are wrong.  It doesn't make any difference if I have seen her 12 times a year or once a year, because she has to pass English A1 in order to live with me in England  (British Embassy's new law from 29th November 2010).  That was the real plan.  I have never plan to live in Colombia - not at least when I am not retired.   I had planned to see her 3 more times last year, only if she showed me that she had learnt English.

Chris F, makes no difference who my next girlfriend is, you always seem to think the relationships will not work out.... that's why you were being nosey sometimes ago, asking me that sort of question in a posting.

Gato,
I am sorry if my comment about not being surprised offended you. I am a straight shooter and will always tell people exactly what I am thinking.

Regarding your comment  "you always seen to think relationships do not work out?"  I dont know what you are talking about!!  I never said that and you are clearly throwing out comments without thinking due to your anger at me right now.

In regards to your comment, "it does not matter if I see her 12 times a year or once a year"  for you that may be the case but for the vast majority of relationships once a year visits do not cut it.

In regards to me being "nosey" are you thinking straight here Gato???  If you post your personal business on a PUBLIC FORUM do not get your panties soiled when others ask you questions about it!!!!!!

Anything I want to keep private in my life Gato I do not post it here!! If I post ANYTHING here about my life it is WIDE OPEN to questions, comments and criticism!!


Good Luck to you moving forward Gato.....
 
 
 
 
 
 

[InnocentVixen]

Gato, as nice as you sound I've always thought you are a bit quick when it comes to get offended, but who knows? maybe it's normal to react that way to certain comments, after all I am a bit on the blunt side too so maybe I just can't see it because of it.


I am sorry that your relationship is reaching it's end and I understand completely why you wouldn't want to share too many details right now or even ever, it's a personal choice how much you want to share. I think it is great you are able to be positive enough to think about your options and not give up while you get this over with, just make sure you do get this over with before you make a move, if I remember correctly you have been talking and visiting her exclusively for quite some time, if you try to keep her as a "back up" it will not only be unfair for the lady you start talking to, but it will get on your way of really giving this new lady a chance not to mention you would be cheating in a way, I doubt you are this kind of guy, but something to consider for the guys reading out there.


Perhaps focusing on ladies that have at least some basic english skills could be a good choice for you? that way if you get serious enough it will be one thing less to worry about. In fact maybe searching in a language exchange site would be an option, it would mean she already had the motivation to learn before she met you, as long as you don't spoil her with too much spanish you could get to know her while she improves her english.


I believe absence wouldn't do well with any lady Zon, some are more patient than others that is all, the ones willing to wait forever are usually the ones that get the missing parts of the relationship elsewhere or don't really want a relationship to start with, either that or they are not exactly mature and are happy living in fantasy land.

[V_Man]

Hi Gato, I imagine it is quite a blow for you to come to this conclusion. I hope it will not get you down for long. You don't need to get so easily offended mate. I agree with you completely that you can choose to share as much or as little of your life. I particularly agree that electing not to marry is a successful outcome. I certainly support guys who do their best but in the end choose not to go any further. That is bound to be the right course of action.

I would definately like to know what lessons you can share with us so we can all learn.

About the English requirement: We don't have that here but that is a subject I'd like to talk more about. I'd love to learn about your experiences with Astrid learning English.

[robert angel]

Gato,
 
Sorry it didn't work out. It seemed there were some road blocks early on and you tried to get past them--you weren't quick to just quit. From what can be gathered on-line, you seem to have a good, loyal heart. It's not easy when you've invested time, emotion and money, but you'll be OK, I'm pretty sure.
 
Wish you all the best,
 
Robert

[Bob_S]

you have always seemed to me to be a DAMN NICE GUY - maybe too nice for this adventure?

Sure, now.  But he wasn't always like this.  Before, he was damned obnoxious and irritating.  But he has seriously mellowed into a decent bloke since he started dating his Astrid.  It's unfortunate that it may be coming to an end.  For whatever else has happened, she has been a very positive influence on him.  And though I've never met her, I do appreciate her for that at least.   

[V_Man]

I can't deny what you say Bob but remember that the kids had a Colombian father who never wanted them to leave the country. In my view Gato is making the right long term decision for the kids. Ultimately for himself as well. That shows a level of maturity on Gato's part IMHO.

[Researcher]

      Sorry to hear things aren't going so well Gato. I wish you the best no matter how it turns out.



      Researcher

[robert angel]

Sure, now.  But he wasn't always like this.  Before, he was damned obnoxious and irritating.  But he has seriously mellowed into a decent bloke since he started dating his Astrid.  It's unfortunate that it may be coming to an end.  For whatever else has happened, she has been a very positive influence on him.  And though I've never met her, I do appreciate her for that at least.   

Looks like you have officially joined the ranks of me, Fathertime, Researcher and few others, as having made progress in Mod Bob's "Twelve Step Program", towards a new, healthier you!
 
Who knows--maybe Zulu will be back (again) and will give it a try, along with Maritime04r!
 
I don't think we'll be able to get Ray in, unless an abduction intervention is attempted.....
 
 

[maritime04]

I do not see why I am even being brought up on this conversation, unless the angel wants some old fashion truth logic and common sense!!!
I like ray he uses pictures, now I am starting to understand WHY…….
Listen it’s not easy to share your personal life with strangers over the internet, I do not having anything to comment I do not know gato, but wish him the best of luck.

[beginthebeguin]

Yes, gato has always been helpful to a lot of us. I am sorry to hear of his decision.

[mudd]

well, thats a bummer, but probably for the best