In Medallo again - love and not so love in 24 hours

[Zon]

What a beautiful place!  The climate is perfect.  The people are so nice.  PLUS, it is hard to find ugly women.  This could be heaven.


It is a modern city.  There is tons to do.  It has a great vibe.


BUT, 85% of the people and women may as well be ghosts because they are damaged / poor.  The stereotype of foreigners are not flattering (that is an understatement - but most Colombianos are pigs too:)   Attractive, employed, educated women from a good family and owning a car ... are not easy.  Men wanting a quality woman must up their game.  Spanish, Time, Seriousness and more is necessary to show you are not a "normal gringo" looking for drugs and women.  There is a tall invisible wall.


Of course, you don't need to do this.  You can kid yourself, or just have fun.


In 24 hours, I fell in love and regained my former, balanced, perspective on Medellin in the first 24 hours.   So, I don't see any way possible a man could drop into this city without Spanish and connection and find a good women for marriage.  Smaller cities, yes, it is possible ... but it will take more than a week or two.


Best of luck wife hunters!  To be forewarned is to be forearmed:)

[whitey]

I really enjoyed Medellin in the short time (1 week) that we were there.  Beautiful climate, beautiful scenery nestled in the valley, modern and very affordable metro rail system with connecting metrocables and buses, lots of museums, parks, attractions, shopping (either opulent malls or in the street), interesting day trips to places like La Piedra de Penol, other towns to explore in the same valley, etc, etc.

Much cleaner and more organized than the coast (for instance), and the people more civicly minded (my wife and I were impressed by the bus drivers who drove much more courteously than on the coast, and by passengers greeting and thanking the driver - very civilized!)

I don't remember being too impressed with the women since I was with my wife and I prefer morenas.  About the only thing that stands out in my mind was all the silicon on the models in a fashion show we saw ... not my taste either.

Hope you have fun Zon ... keep on reporting ...! 

[Dan Las Vegas]

Medellin is still my favorite city in Colombia!  For me, the weather is perfect and I've found the people to be very nice.  But I would definitely agree with you as to the need to spend time and speak a good deal of Spanish to be successful there, but as always there are exceptions to every rule. UC comes to mind with his beautiful wife!
 
Dan LV

[Zon]

For what it is worth ...


My Spanish is MUCH better now than a year ago.  A good intermediate level, with [snip]ty pronunciation a vezes.   I can see that I have MUCH more ability to to form more real relationships with Paisas.  In fact, when I see a gringo who does not even have the most basic Spanish vocabulary, I think to myself: What is this guy doing here?   That is what Paisas think times 1000.


With time and Spanish, this can be a cool place for sure.  A little dangerous in some place.  You can't trust people fast.  And, many of the little pretty girls are hunting you, not the other way around; eontounces - quidate.

[Micky]

Tim -
 

It is good that you have seen the light!!  I hear a lot of anti Medellin/Paisa talk,  and of course being a brainwashed Gringo living in Paisa land,  I do not think it is fair,  or correct.  As you do know from spending time here,  IF one is looking for a mate primarily,  or solely in Parque Gringo/Poblado area then one has a false picture of Medellin and the Paisa.  If one sat on a bench almost anywhere in Poblado and viewed the women,  they would think that at least half the women were acceptable in the looks department, even if not their type.  THEN go sit down in Centro and that number drops big time.  YOU know that. There are MANY girls/women that go to Poblado HUNTING for a money man,  be they Gringo or Latino. I believe that is the source of the anti Paisa position.  A women,  say from Itagui,  has ONLY one reason hanging in Poblado (if she does not work there).  And that would be looking/hoping to find her man, because he will have coin,  relative to your average Jose in Itagui.  So you get a ultra high number of women that go there that are PLAYERS.  Chances are extremely better,  for a guy,  if he would go to other places in Medellin.  La 70,  Estadio,  Ochenta,  33,  for example.
Medellin is Colombia's' most efficient,  progressive city and there is one reason for that - Paisa pride -  and that is the from the men and women here.  Some are put off because,  the Paisa KNOWS that they are the best people group in Colombia.  Most of the major companies in Colombia were started here by Paisas. There is not another group that can step with the Paisas,  and THEY know it,  Rolos,  Costenos,  Calenos, ALL second rate.  I am making a sweeping generalization,  WITH a ton of truth.  Well the cafetera is cool, Manizales,  Pereira and Armenia,  oh yea,  PAISAS!!!  They are the best,  so why would the Paisa women not be?
At least they have not brainwashed me.
 

Micky

[maritime04]

Right on Mickey although I think the rolos have much more arrogance, but the pasias have allot of pride in their city, and are generally more “allegre”…..
Whenever I hear the propaganda machine about no ugly women in Medellin, I wonder if these people have ever walked down” el huecho” on a Saturday afternoon, or in the months of December when the crowds are at their peak… it’s a selling point, pure SPIN for guys who are selling the dream to want to be “players” and tourists, anyone who has actually lived there can tell you this…
Medellin is a wonderful city and I enjoyed living there, after being back in the States for 2 months, there are allot of stuff I miss about the place, but I am enjoying my return to America and feel it was a good decision for myself. Medellin to me has become the place where 5000 gringos are chasing 10 nickels and 5 dimes, it got old way fast.
I do not really see how anyone can even find a good friend or female companion in 24-48 hours in Medellin, mostly you find fake people, with pretend interest; looking to party with someone who will fit the bill. More time would need to be invested, and let’s be honest nobody gets off the plane with intentions of just “living” and not women hunting in some form or fashion. I do not really even think a gringo can wash off the “typical gringo stink” that comes with being a grino or having an accent no matter how hip or culturally cool this person thinks to be. It’s a catch 22 best too just accept this and move along.
Zon
Damaged/poor, did you really honestly expect educated and innocent virgins?? From a poor third world country?
Attractive, employed, educated women from a good family and owning a car ... are not easy.  Men wanting a quality woman must up their game.  Spanish, Time, Seriousness and more is necessary to show you are not a "normal gringo"
That statement sounds more like the current dating environment in the US of A, again if you wanted those things why are you not dating in Miami? Just food for thought.

[Micky]

M-4 -
 

Good to see you back,  I hope all is going very well for you and your women.

When I write something about Medellin,  or Colombia,  it is 90% of the time generalization.  I do not often direct things at the guys that do the "wife hunting" thing.  When I came here it was to see if I COULD live in Colombia and really had nothing to do with the "super hot Colombiana".  I am not saying that if Colombia had the same amount of available women as Alaska,  I would be here,  just that the women were not # 1 in my picking Colombia.  I try to be realistic about living here and not being a gringo penis head.  It does not matter how long I live here,  or how respectful I am of the culture,  I will ALWAYS be a gringo,  I will NEVER blend in,  that is the reality.
As far as the "wife hunters" go,  I have NO problem with a guy that is looking for a good Latin wife.  I have never really given any deep thought to the reality of doing that (finding one and moving to any "gringoland"),  it seams that it would be a difficult task,  if one is really serious.  I do think that some guys are more realistic in their search than others.  I think that some guys are just plain foolish.  Whether I like someone or not,  I hope for all to find their own happiness and fulfillment.  Even an "enemies"  failure does not improve me,  or my life,  or in some mystical way make me a better person.  So the best to all,  but you have to have,  money,  time and a solid commitment to even have a decent,  realistic chance (even if you go to one of those "second rate cities").

 
Micky

[maritime04]

I may be mistaken about the intentions of just “living”, I have ran across many ex-pats, but none were single and living alone and not dating. I do not want to come off sounding like one only goes to Colombia to get “laid” or for the women. It’s a major motivation for most but not all, regardless of the reasons its best not to I wish ill will on anyone.
I agree with you about blending in and never truly being seen as a local, despite how much Spanish you learn or try to act like them we will always be an outsider.
Getting married in any country is not easy, making a relationship like that work is difficult, it has its rewards, and frustrations. Nothing is simple about this process; living in Colombia opened my eyes to allot of things, and led to some interesting experiences about life, money, sex and the world.
I hate to pick on Zon, but flags fly in my head every time I see stuff like 85% of women are damaged/poor, I really do not see how anyone could expect anything less? With a place like Colombia you kind of know what you are getting into, 50% of the country lives BELOW the poverty line, the country has a history of violence, narco trafficking, kidnapping, and communist terrorist organization running around, it’s not exactly the type of place I would expect to find a abundant amount of beautiful college educated, wealthy women looking to get involved with a foreigner for anything…

[Zon]

Quote - " I hate to pick on Zon, but flags fly in my head every time I see stuff like 85% of women are damaged/poor, I really do not see how anyone could expect anything less? With a place like Colombia you kind of know what you are getting into, 50% of the country lives BELOW the poverty line, the country has a history of violence, narco trafficking, kidnapping, and communist terrorist organization running around, it’s not exactly the type of place I would expect to find a abundant amount of beautiful college educated, wealthy women looking to get involved with a foreigner for anything…"
[/size]
[/size]Your not picking on me.  I my eyes continue to adjust as I spend more time and recognize the subtleties of things.   

[/size]In the USA, if you meet a pretty woman who can walk and chew gum at the same time, you tend to fill in many blanks that complete the profile.  Most of these are common place assumptions.   The list could be very long.  For example: she can show up to an appointment on time.  She can form complex judgments.   She can tell the truth to a loved one.  She can keep a secret for good purposes.  She has not been beaten, or raped, or whatever ...   

[/size]But, to make such assumptions quickly based upon appearances and spending less than significant time with a woman hides much here.   So, again, playing percentages and generalizations is fool's play, I admit.  But, the underlying point is there is much under the pretty city and pretty faces. 

[/size]All for now...

[maritime04]

Zon
 
I agree with you, my point was you are stating the obvious! you can not sleep with dogs, and be suprised you have flees!!! One goes with the other.
 
I do not really understand you comment about AW, but again in regards to Medellin and Colombia, most have soo little understanding of the culture and communication that all they can see is the pretty faces...

[fathertime]

2012 Zon's rise to power! 


Fathertime!

[Zon]

I agree with you, my point was you are stating the obvious! you can not sleep with dogs, and be suprised you have flees!!! One goes with the other.

Of course, but that is actually exactly the problem (In Medeliin very much.  In Cali second)  While there is exists difficulty discerning truth from the women from the poorer neighborhoods, which is generally understood and acknowledged,   These observations apply to women with jobs and cars too!   


There is a GREAT amount of dishonesty at work here.  Some of this can be chalked up to me not understanding or recognizing the DETAILS because I am a gringo, but actions and inactions speak louder than words.  Remember, these most recent experiences come from connection with older conocidos and meeting friends and friends of friends in the more affluent circles - these women have choices


I will be here for another 2 weeks, and romantically, I have no expectations (for serious stuff that is).    If I come back to Colombia, a place I have invested much time, and in which I am very fond, it will be to Armenia.  In that city, and other smaller places, it seems like you can find a sincere good women - good intelligence?  ability to form judgments in a modern world?  I doubt it.  But, a good human being that is descomplicada, yes.


In May, I will travel to Eastern Europe and Ukraine for 65 days to see what there is to see.  As FT is quick to note, my biological clock is running:)

[maritime04]

Colombian culture is difficult to understand, its Latin but very diffrent from places like peru, or Boliva, or Mexico.  I have allot of trouble getting it myself, with a good base of spanish and Colombian family. I was not born there, and have not lived my entire life there, so i do not expect to understand how Colombians thinks.
 
Zon you state allot of things, but give very little examples, perhaps you should provide us with more then a general statment and actual stories of your encounters there in Medellin.
 
Great dishonesty, Yeah; "while i was there a gringo asked me how you can tell if a pasia is lying?, you can watch her lips move", again this was told to me by a man looking to bed 20 year olds, so what did you expect?
 
I was reminded often in Medellin, of the saying live by the sword, die by the sword.... If you live a life of lies, then lies are all you will find; if you want a casual life filled with fake relationships then you seek that out, and most often find it.
 
Theres nothing wrong with having a bachlor lifestyle of no-attachment relationships, as long as both parties realize thats whats invloved; so enjoy the sex, and company
 
descomplicada, i doubt that exists in any women. Colombian culture is not heart-land USA, they often party(drink) alittle too much, and make mistakes, they live by emotion and fight often, do you really expect honest conversation from women you pick up in illares or charliees on a staurday night?
 
"Affluent circles"...... i saw that coming years ago with the new gringo crowd flying in; its not good enough to sleep with women 25-30 years younger, now they have to be wealthy elities from affluent familes; not some barrio chica from estrato 2; PURE FANTASY; with plenty of locals willing to sell you that lie for a price....exclusive, not for general consumption!!! i get it, i just do not understand it. Maybe its a self-estem booster or something whater ever the reason to each their own

[Micky]

M4 -

 
You were too kind with the end of your post "each to his own",  regarding the guys that have the "need", "want",  "desire",  to bed,  date,  or have a relationship with women/girls that are VERY much younger.  I agree only in that what some guy wants to do in that way is his business and certainly,  in many aspects,  I could care less.  It is the guys that say they are looking for a "serious,  long-term relationship"  AND they exclusively are chasing 20 somethings,  that is a HUGE crock.
 
I can only assume that it massages their egos,  or gives them the illusion of regained youth.  I do not know, nor do I understand.  I will say that to be fair,  there can be a WORLD of difference in guys that are in their 40/50/60.  There are a few that do look very young and are in super shape for their given age.  Those,  in reality,  are the SUPER minority.  Most are fooling themselves,  plain and simple. 
 
The thing that really is perplexing,  to me,  is WHY?  Especially here!  Say a guy that is 55 years old,  there is gigantic supply (not trying to make women sound like a commodity)  of nice,  stable,  mature, intelligent,  beautiful women here that are in the age group late thirties to late fourties -  Why on earth would one be chasing the young ones?  The only answers that I do know are,  he can not be looking for a "serious relationship",  or he is absolutely fooling himself.

 
Micky

 

[maritime04]

The thing that really is perplexing,  to me,  is WHY?  Especially here!  Say a guy that is 55 years old,  there is gigantic supply (not trying to make women sound like a commodity)  of nice,  stable,  mature, intelligent,  beautiful women here that are in the age group late thirties to late fourties -  Why on earth would one be chasing the young ones?  The only answers that I do know are,  he can not be looking for a "serious relationship",  or he is absolutely fooling himself.

 
Micky i could not agree with you more, I do not think the supply is gigantic but i understand your point, and often have thought the same thoughts too myself.
 
Regadless its sad to see people justify obvious things, and make excuses like "older men are actively sought out by women in their 20's" (sorry zon)...really if you believe that i have a bridge and some gold to sell you!!
 
You do not make women sound like a commodity, and i agree with you watch a few novels, or the nightly news to see some very good looking older women out there.

[michaelb]

  Why on earth would one be chasing the young ones?  The only answers that I do know are,  he can not be looking for a "serious relationship",  or he is absolutely fooling himself.

 
Micky

I vote fooling himself, and let me back that up with the cliche "There's no fool like an old fool".   

[Jeff S]

The thing that really is perplexing,  to me,  is WHY?  Especially here!  Say a guy that is 55 years old,  there is gigantic supply (not trying to make women sound like a commodity)  of nice,  stable,  mature, intelligent,  beautiful women here that are in the age group late thirties to late fourties -  Why on earth would one be chasing the young ones?  The only answers that I do know are,  he can not be looking for a "serious relationship",  or he is absolutely fooling himself.

I agree completely. It's hard to imagine. I dated 30something women when I was a teenager and in my 20s almost exclusively. I couldn't imagine dealing with teeny boppers and early 20somethings then or even more so now that I'm in my 50s.


It just might be a lame pickup line though.....

[Zon]

I dated a 32 year old Colombian last year.   I am 47.   I have not met a woman in Colombia that is less than 10 years my age that was available and turned me on.  Of course, I think you would have to meet these women thorough friends and family contacts, and good Spanish is a condition.  Always better Spanish and more time.

I have dated every kind of Colombiana over the last several years (I cant remember if there were any prudes, but there were a few strictas).    I have presumed that as my Spanish improves and as my circle of friends grow, I would mix socially in better balance. It takes time.  When, I am in Colombia, I still work quite a bit, so even though I am in this country, nothing real and natural is automatic.

Age gap again.   It's fun to date sexy and young women - providing there are no lies and no one is getting hurt.   I would prefer to meet a woman he is more mature.   But, here is the funny thing:  I got a shot with a drop dead gorgeous 24 AW in Medellin this week.   And, I have been seeing a girl since I got here ( I met her through a friend)   She is waay to young for me (19) and we both knew it from the beginning, but we also knew we liked each other too. As soon as I met her, I asked her if she had an older sister, and she laughed.  She is the only person that has guessed my age accurately from the beginning.   This will not become a serious relationship, but one I probably will remember fondly.  And, the miraculous plus - she is not a prepago / or looking for a sponsor, or any other advantage.  IN MEDALLO, THAT IS RARE.

Now, I don't care one little bit about the sexual aspect of these possibilities (ok maybe just a little).   If something happens, something happens.   I am not plotting and planning and hoping and paying, or praying etc...   It just comes, or it does not.

[DesmondID]

The thing that really is perplexing,  to me,  is WHY?  Especially here!  Say a guy that is 55 years old,  there is gigantic supply (not trying to make women sound like a commodity)  of nice,  stable,  mature, intelligent,  beautiful women here that are in the age group late thirties to late fourties -  Why on earth would one be chasing the young ones?  The only answers that I do know are,  he can not be looking for a "serious relationship",  or he is absolutely fooling himself.

Really? That is perplexing? A 55 year man with an option of dating a 20-something year-old woman and a 45 year-old woman and you are scratching your head pondering how he can seriously be looking at the 20-something year old? You may not agree with it but it should not be a mystery.

There are plenty of possible legit answers by the way.. Maybe he wants to start a family with someone that can have kids, maybe he is retired or for whatever reason no longer needs to work and wants someone who is free of anchors and willing to travel and enjoy the "fun" phase of his life with him. Maybe while chasing the young ones one of them hooked his heart - it happens.

[fathertime]

 
Regadless its sad to see people justify obvious things, and make excuses like "older men are actively sought out by women in their 20's" (sorry zon)...really if you believe that i have a bridge and some gold to sell you!!
 
 

I agree 4-square with you on this one.  Using zon as an example, I think that he actually thinks that a 19 year old knockout babe is looking at him as if he is still a teenager himself when he is actually close to 50!  I'm sure his assessment is correct when he proudly comments that she is not looking for ANY OTHER ADVANTAGE!   


Fathertime! 

[fathertime]

Really? That is perplexing? A 55 year man with an option of dating a 20-something year-old woman and a 45 year-old woman and you are scratching your head pondering how he can seriously be looking at the 20-something year old? You may not agree with it but it should not be a mystery.

There are plenty of possible legit answers by the way.. Maybe he wants to start a family with someone that can have kids, maybe he is retired or for whatever reason no longer needs to work and wants someone who is free of anchors and willing to travel and enjoy the "fun" phase of his life with him. Maybe while chasing the young ones one of them hooked his heart - it happens.

I agree, I also thought that was a strange comment by sir mickey.  I think men should go for younger woman if that is what they want, it certainly was what I wanted, but it isn't for everyone!     In many cases a 20 something is going to be a better fit!


Fathertime! 

[brian57]

What age is it for a Colombian woman for a problem to have kids?   I think 40 woman start having problems, the baby is born with defects.  or is it 35 when the issues start?
Also is there an age limit for men, regarding having kids?

[Zon]

"Using zon as an example, I think that he actually thinks that a 19 year old knockout babe is looking at him as if he is still a teenager himself when he is actually close to 50!  I'm sure his assessment is correct when he proudly comments that she is not looking for ANY OTHER ADVANTAGE!"

I should say that the Colombiana  I am referring to is not a KNOCKOUT.  She is super skinny with a tiny chest, not really the thing Colombianos look for.  But, we had a connection, so there you go ...  She is not a punta, or someone looking for a green card, etc...

Young, hot girls WANTING to spend time with me?  It happens, rarely, I admit, but more than I would have thought, and certainly more than I deserve.  It's really no big deal.  If I were a guy only looking to bed such a woman, and frothing at the mouth for such, then, your comments would be more accurate, using me for an example.   There is no virtue in staying home and learning to knit, while I am still single.   And, when nice things happen, why not go with it - even though there obviously are no long term possibilities?   I would much rather meet a woman 30 - 35 but that has not happened yet.  And, there is not special place and time to meet the Right One.

Look, there are two things at work here.
1) gringos buying love and sex, and deceiving themselves along the way; and
2) men worshiping beauty, and disqualifying themselves from the get-go that any beautiful woman could WANT them.   Newsflash! Have you seen many of these young attractive women's boyfriends?  Colombian  is the land of beauty and the beast.  Many of these guys look like flippin frogs, with unrefined manners, limited perspectives and experiences, and no prospects for a good stable life.

[DesmondID]

What age is it for a Colombian woman for a problem to have kids?   I think 40 woman start having problems, the baby is born with defects.  or is it 35 when the issues start?
Also is there an age limit for men, regarding having kids?

Biologically speaking there really is no age limit for men... women can go to their late 30's or early forties with increased risk to the child as her age increases past 35... If a man is looking to have kids he needs to look downwards from that age. It takes time to get to know someone long enough to know they are someone you want to spend your life with and share children... Most people want two kids... Assuming 37 is the latest age where the odds are still good on a healthy pregnancy, at what age do you cutoff and still have time to go through the whole process of getting to know someone and still get that second child born by 37?

[fathertime]

   She is the only person that has guessed my age accurately from the beginning.   This will not become a serious relationship, but one I probably will remember fondly.  And, the miraculous plus - she is not a prepago / or looking for a sponsor, or any other advantage.  IN MEDALLO, THAT IS RARE.
 

yo zonny!  you really gotta stop playing the 'can you guess my age' game!  Number one, is rather gay for a guy close to 50 to be doing that crap!  I've seen a couple pics of you and your face is weathered enough to easily look 50'ish, but who the hell cares and why you continue to make mention of the fact that you are 'younger' than your years seems like it is a an important hope for you or something. 

I should say that the Colombiana  I am referring to is not a KNOCKOUT.  She is super skinny with a tiny chest, not really the thing Colombianos look for.

maybe her skinniness isn't want most colombians look for, but it is what you like so maybe she is a knockout for your tastes...if not then what the hell are you sidetracking yourself  with a 19 year for when you know a girl 10 years older is what you really need? Does it give your ego a boost or something?  Why do you need ego boosts so badly anyway?  It seems to me if you were really serious about finding a woman to do real time with you wouldn't allow yourself to get sidetracked so easily!  If you really want to be sidetracked, you should hang out with jimD, i hear he rolls down to Cali with half dressed 18 year olds in the bed of us beat up old truck!


Now seriously, if you have booked a trip to Ukraine for 65 in a couple months,  I guess you are just sorta biding your time in Colombia with natives, before you find your pristine 22 Ukrainian future wife!


Don't start sharpening your elbows just yet, i'm only yanking your chain! 


Fathertime!