Manila, General Santos, Surigao, Siargao, Cebu 2011

[thekfc]

JWR said that she kept interrupting him when he was talking about sailing and walked out mid sentence, so maybe there is something that scares her about sailing - bad experience, family member perish while sailing, etc,.?
And if that is the case then maybe she did not/do not want to live through that experience again.

[piglett]

Mambo,

If you read JWR's post carefully, he admits that this young woman had no interest in sailing, his absolute favorite thing to do.
Its hard to believe that he didn't ask this question and confirm and verify her answers BEFORE he took this trip?
No one on this board is saying that JWR is completely f*cked up or judging him for that matter.
We are just saying he could have been a bit more prepared for the Philippines because some of the "issues" he dealt with could have been mitigated easily if he had done his homework.
And...Monday Morning Quarterback....that's what we do here on P-L!!
Zulu

it's called learning, i bet he asks different questions next time around.
 
 
pig

[thekfc]

it's called learning, i bet he asks different questions next time around.

Don't forget about implementing what you learn.   

[Jeff S]

Sailing isn't just his favorite thing to do, it's his profession and business. Hard to conceive she didn't know all about that before he went.


In any event, this why everyone says you really don't have a relationship until you spend some time with each other in-person. These subtleties are not things you can find out on Yahoo IM, or skype video chats.


The truth is that it takes time and effort and maybe a few trips to find someone right for you.

[Ray]

Like paying for the parties: Help me out here ok.  She says she has friends that want to meet me, they come over and I end up picking up the tab.  I don't offer,but they just order and don't have money.  So what words should I have used to lay down the rules?  Would you have just said, "Ok invite your friends over, but I'm not paying for anything they order or eat, tell them to bring their own money"?  Would that have been how you would have said it?
 

 
First, if you take her and her friends (or family members) to any kind of restaurant (or party), you will pretty much be expected to pay for them all.
　
There are several ways you could have handled this problem. I would not recommend coming right out and telling them directly that they have to pay for their own meals and drinks.
　
You could meet them at a coffee shop that doesn’t serve food and buy their coffee. That would save you some money.
　
For restaurants, choose cheaper places like turo-turo (point-point) joints or something like Jollibee.
　
Meet them after lunchtime, around 2 p.m. maybe, after everyone has had their lunch at their own expense, and stay away from restaurants altogether.
　
I think the best way to stay on a budget, if that’s what you wish to do, is to hand over your money to your girl after you arrive and let her pay for all cash transactions, including all meals, taxis, sea transportation, souvenir purchases, movie theater tickets, popcorn, EVERYTHING for the duration of your stay with her. You can pay for the hotel room bill on a credit card if you want to have a say where you stay.
　
Tell her that this is all the money you have to spend for your trip and when that is gone, you are broke. Let her choose the restaurants where you eat, who gets invited for lunch at your expense, etc. This is a golden opportunity for you to see how she budgets money and respects your finances. If all your cash is gone in a week, then you learned something very valuable about her as a potential mate.
　
You’ll probably find that the great majority of Filipina women are very frugal and able to bargain for the best deal. It is traditional in Filipino culture that the wife handles the money in the family and pays for restaurant bills, etc., so she should have learned this stuff at a young age.
　
If you do decide to try this method, I would keep a couple of 100-dollar-bills stashed in your shoe or someplace safe just in case she runs off with your money and disappears. That way, you’ll have enough to make your way to Angeles City for a few nights of wild fun before you head home.   
　
And make sure you some cash pesos for the airport fees on your way out!
　
Ray
　 
 

[Jhengsman]

 
First, if you take her and her friends (or family members) to any kind of restaurant (or party), you will pretty much be expected to pay for them all.
　

Ray
　

I remember the first birthday dinner we went to stateside. You should have seen the size of my wife's eyes in a what is going on here expression when she realized that we were all pitching in to buy the birthday boy dinner and he wasn't paying for all of us.

[Dave H]

BINGO...exactly what I thought!!! There are some pretty strange "Christian" groups in the Philippines! With Philippine Roman Catholics, you pretty much know what you are getting involved in...just varying degrees of "devoutness." I personally wouldn't want to marry into the INC! I know a few guys who did or almost did and had problems with the rules and being told what they had to do! The INC is building a lot of churches in the bundok and other areas where the Catholic Church has tended to not had much physical presence (as are the  Mormons-The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints).   I would also stay far away from ladies in this group (mostly in Davao) as well! http://www.kingdomofjesuschrist.org/  We have a few good friends in the  Church of Christ here in the Philippines (NOT INC) and they are a totally different group than the Iglesia Ni Cristo (which means "Church of Christ" in Tagalog)!




PS...you don't even have to get off the airplane to meet a nice lady!



Dave

[thekfc]

The INC near me had their 'dedication" this pass Saturday.
 
We walked to the supermarket (about 4 blocks away) and there was a bunch of guys standing outside. My wife said that there must be some high profile people inside. I asked my wife why and she replied that those guys standing there are bodyguards. Taking a closer look, sure enough they were - earpiece & armed.
 
There were also a group of people wearing a black jacket with the initials SCAN (or something like that) and other writings (couldn't tell what it was as we were walking on the other side of the street).

[Jhengsman]

The INC near me had their 'dedication" this pass Saturday.
 
We walked to the supermarket (about 4 blocks away) and there was a bunch of guys standing outside. My wife said that there must be some high profile people inside. I asked my wife why and she replied that those guys standing there are bodyguards. Taking a closer look, sure enough they were - earpiece & armed.
 
There were also a group of people wearing a black jacket with the initials SCAN (or something like that) and other writings (couldn't tell what it was as we were walking on the other side of the street).

Sounds like the Nation of Islam and their security force the Fruit Of Islam. But to be fair the Pope does has his Swiss Guard and armored chariot when he travels.


I have to admit I have always had major problems with INC women, knowing in the end that they can't get married, starting a relationship with the intention of getting a true or fake conversion out of an unsuspecting guy

[Dave H]

Sounds like the Nation of Islam and their security force the Fruit Of Islam. But to be fair the Pope does has his Swiss Guard and armored chariot when he travels.

Lots of info on the Internet about their various activities................................... 

[piglett]

Lots of info on the Internet about their various activities................................... 

hey Dave , new car?