what would you do ?

[piglett]

well i just found out that my wife's uncle died of a heartattack
here is the kicker....he was only 32 years old.
i remember meeting him when he attended our wedding.
he worked as a policeman & was thought to be in good health.
he was married but the didn't have a children.
 
the question i have is ...........
do i as a good guy offer to help with a little of the funeral costs? I'm not talking big money here maybe p1000
by doing so am i setting myself up for problems in the future?
 
 
thanks for your input
pig
 

[michaelb]

How much is p1000 in US dollars? Did he have some charity that he favored that you could make a memorial donation to for him? Is your wife's family desperate for money, can't afford the funeral without your help?  Lot of variables here, but he was family and you've been married for a while, so it's not the "sick grandmother" scam, if they are hurting for money for the funeral, I'd consider it a legitimate emergency, not setting yourself up as an ATM.....I'd say kick in something.

[piglett]

How much is p1000 in US dollars? Did he have some charity that he favored that you could make a memorial donation to for him? Is your wife's family desperate for money, can't afford the funeral without your help?  Lot of variables here, but he was family and you've been married for a while, so it's not the "sick grandmother" scam, if they are hurting for money for the funeral, I'd consider it a legitimate emergency, not setting yourself up as an ATM.....I'd say kick in something.

p1000 is +/- $24
we are not talking big money here
it just shows that i feel that i am PART of the family not the guy who can or wants to suport the whole family.
 
thanks
pig

[michaelb]

P1000 is $24.00? Then I wouldn't think that P5000 is out of line, just as long as you make it clear that it won't come every week or every month.

[piglett]

P1000 is $24.00? Then I wouldn't think that P5000 is out of line, just as long as you make it clear that it won't come every week or every month.

if it was Marily's mother,farther sister, brother then yes. however between supporting my wife (she is layed off from work , funding issue) paying for her little brother college & keeping everything up to date plus setting cash aside for when my wife arrives in the spring i like the p1000 better 
 
life is hard there & i don't really think it's about how much you send , i feel it's that you sent any that shows that you care.
 
pig

[Ray]

In the Filipino culture, it is customary to help out the family of those who have passed on. Friends, neighbors, and relatives will typically visit the deceased’s family and make small donations of cash directly to the surviving spouse, or to the children if there is no surviving spouse.
　
I would send a small donation to the widow through your wife. You can ask your wife to purchase a nice religious-theme sympathy card and place the cash, in pesos, sealed inside, to be handed to the widow personally by your wife if possible, with absolutely no strings attached. She can use it to help defray funeral expenses, purchase food, or whatever SHE wants to do with it. This gift should be given in both you and your wife’s name.
　
How much to send? I’m with michaelb. I think P5,000 would be very appropriate in this case, or if money is a big problem now, at least half that amount... or whatever you can afford.
 
As a side note, about a year after my wife arrived here, her mother passed away suddenly and she had to travel home for the funeral. Some Filipino co-workers and Filipino neighbors that she barely knew, were handing her cash before she left, anywhere from $20 to $100. It’s a cultural thing…
　
Ray
　
　

[piglett]

thanks for your input guys
he died in the province & Marily is in Manila so a card with cash will be hard to do. i'll have her forward the cash to her parents & they can give it to the widdow in both our names.
 
pig

[z_k_g]

Porky,

I think anywhere from p2000 to p4000 would be sufficient.

Zulu

[Gato4Astrid]

In the Filipino culture, it is customary to help out the family of those who have passed on.

　

but is it customary that the person to help had to be gringos ?

[Ray]

but is it customary that the person to help had to be gringos ?

 
Huh?
 
They don't have "gringos" in the Philippines...
 
 

[piglett]

Porky,

I think anywhere from p2000 to p4000 would be sufficient.

Zulu

i just got home & Marily & i sent a few texts back & forth via chikka. she thinks p1000 is plenty , if he was in Manila the costs would be much higher. the money has already been transferred to the province so my job is now done.
yes i could have sent more however no one asked me for 1 peso & i am in the process of piling up cash for my wife's plane ticket, warm clothing for her & she will also be taking an online class which is said to be a big help when she has to take the NCLEX nursing test.
 
i talked to my mom earlier in the day & she is willing to loan me some money if needed when it's time to cover all of the up coming costs. however i will do all i can to not go that route.
i think i can by spring have all of the needed cash sitting in the bank ......i guess time will tell.
 
 
thanks
pig
 
 
 

 
Huh?
 
They don't have "gringos" in the Philippines...

No but they do have kano's