Amazing deal breakers

[InnocentVixen]

We all know that there are many weirdo's out there on the internet, in fact we might count as some of those depending on the point of view, what are the most baffling deal breakers you have heard when getting to know someone online? the kind of thing that seems to be going well until you hear, "oh, by the way..."


Here are mine:

• I don't believe in contraception, if you get prego on the wedding night so be it.
• Oh I said single because that is what I consider myself, I am separated.
• I have a roommate, she is my ex, but we are divorced so don't worry.
• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
• I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.
• My car is in the shop, could you visit me?
• I was recently deported from the U.S.
• Send me at least 2 full body naked pictures of you (front and back)
• I would rather we meet in Vegas so we can get married there.
• I'm 67 years old but perform like a 50 year old.

This would all make really funny sarcastic jokes but behold... this guys were not being sarcastic, and sorry, number 10 was so hilarious to me that I had to include it, this is obviously from an introduction email I had no interest in replying to since the age range I am looking for is somewhere between 30-42... I must admit I am often tempted by older gentlemen (45-48) but trying to get rid of that mindset.


For some that don't know me well enough some might not sound too much of a deal breaker, so allow me to refresh a few facts about me, I am an only child, don't like dancing, can't even count myself as social drinker since I might have like 2 drinks a year at most so definitely not a party girl, would like a baby after a few years of marriage, I have an american tourist visa and relatives living (legally) in the states, respect tradition, a bit old fashioned but I like to think I am open minded enough to talk about pretty much anything, my one rule is visit me first and if we get along I might visit you every once in a while and all those points were said after the guys knew this and more about me.

[Zon]

Here are mine:

• I don't believe in contraception, if you get prego on the wedding night so be it.
• Oh I said single because that is what I consider myself, I am separated.
• I have a roommate, she is my ex, but we are divorced so don't worry.
• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
• I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.
• My car is in the shop, could you visit me?
• I was recently deported from the U.S.
• Send me at least 2 full body naked pictures of you (front and back)
• I would rather we meet in Vegas so we can get married there.
• I'm 67 years old but perform like a 50 year old.

This would all make really funny sarcastic jokes but behold... this guys were not being sarcastic, and sorry, number 10 was so hilarious to me that I had to include it, this is obviously from an introduction email I had no interest in replying to since the age range I am looking for is somewhere between 30-42... I must admit I am often tempted by older gentlemen (45-48) but trying to get rid of that mindset.

LMAO - thanks for the well thought out levity.  Briliant (and perhaps sadly true).

[benjio]

We all know that there are many weirdo's out there on the internet, in fact we might count as some of those depending on the point of view, what are the most baffling deal breakers you have heard when getting to know someone online? the kind of thing that seems to be going well until you hear, "oh, by the way..."


Here are mine:
 

• I don't believe in contraception, if you get prego on the wedding night so be it.
• Oh I said single because that is what I consider myself, I am separated.
• I have a roommate, she is my ex, but we are divorced so don't worry.
• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
• I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.
• My car is in the shop, could you visit me?
• I was recently deported from the U.S.
• Send me at least 2 full body naked pictures of you (front and back)
• I would rather we meet in Vegas so we can get married there.
• I'm 67 years old but perform like a 50 year old.

This would all make really funny sarcastic jokes but behold... this guys were not being sarcastic, and sorry, number 10 was so hilarious to me that I had to include it, this is obviously from an introduction email I had no interest in replying to since the age range I am looking for is somewhere between 30-42... I must admit I am often tempted by older gentlemen (45-48) but trying to get rid of that mindset.


For some that don't know me well enough some might not sound too much of a deal breaker, so allow me to refresh a few facts about me, I am an only child, don't like dancing, can't even count myself as social drinker since I might have like 2 drinks a year at most so definitely not a party girl, would like a baby after a few years of marriage, I have an american tourist visa and relatives living (legally) in the states, respect tradition, a bit old fashioned but I like to think I am open minded enough to talk about pretty much anything, my one rule is visit me first and if we get along I might visit you every once in a while and all those points were said after the guys knew this and more about me.

During my recent stint outside of the agency realm I've definitely run across some very "interesting" young ladies. I do however think you all still have it a lot worse though. The few Colombianas I've gotten to know well enough to talk about their past experiences with meeting guys online have told me some funny stories. I can't help but think to myself, "WHO IN THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS?!!!" Dennis originally suggested I give Colombian Cupid a try a while back and so far I'm on the fence about the results. What really trips me out is the younger girls that try to contact me. At 18 and 19 years old I can't imagine anyone being ready or even having a desire to be married. Some might find any "deal breaker" list I write to be a little strict, but these are things that really turn me off when first getting to know a girl.
 
1. "I have a child (children), but they don't live with me."
2. "My grandmother *insert anything having to do with a medical problem here*" - I seriously would have thought Colombianas already figured out this one was getting old.
3. "I would like to finish my degree and become a career woman" - Nothing wrong with this at all, but just not my type. Also, with university girls, a certain amount of financial "support" for their studies is almost a given AND if they are serious students their education will at times take priority over your relationship.
4. "Me encanta rumbear" or "me encanta la rumba"
5. AND THE GRAND FINALE!!!: "My friend has a gringo boyfriend, and he pays for everything and buys her anything she wants, yada, yada, yada"

[whitey]

Interesting and funny post, IV - I think it's much more difficult online to be a woman.

Sorry I can't add anything, as I don't have any experience with online dating sites.

This one was my favourite - what a winner!

6.  My car is in the shop, could you visit me?

[fathertime]

 . What really trips me out is the younger girls that try to contact me. At 18 and 19 years old I can't imagine anyone being ready or even having a desire to be married. Some might 

I really don't think most people are 'ready to be married'...but once  you are in a marriage you can still make a go of it....that includes 18 year olds, i've been there and done that...you might be surprised...i wouldn't rule anybody out at your age, although i understand you prefer a lady around your age.


Fathertime! 

[Micky]

My Dear Innocent Vixen -
 
I read your profile and must say I think that we would be great together.  I know that my profile says that I am 61 but my mug shot,  I mean my foto,  makes me look older.  I have lost a hundred pounds since that foto.  I am in great shape now,  I have been working out everyday in the yard with the other inmates.  Actually,  I am a guard here at the Texas state prison,  I was just joking about the "other inmates",  I am very funny when I am not being very serious.  I am getting out in two months,  I mean retiring,  and would really like to start a relationship with you.  I was wondering if I took the bus down to Brownsville could you meet me there?  I have some nice camping gear in storage and if I can get it out I know a really nice camp ground (they have showers with hot water!) where we could stay.  I am a good cook,  I know fifty ways to turn Spam into something special.  We could have a few beers,  go skinnydipping have a good time getting to know each other.
I would come to your city to meet you,  but right now I do not have a passport and I am not sure that I can get one anytime soon.
Waiting to hear back from you my love.
Love You Always -
Micky

[Bob_S]

Aw, how romantic. 

[maritime04]

i have some issues with this
 
 

• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
•  
  whats wrong with this?
   
   
• I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.
•  
  I must inform you the weed is 100% el natrale, so they tell me!

[benjio]

I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.

I must inform you the weed is 100% el natrale, so they tell me!

Maybe in Colombia. I read an article in a magazine the other day about some of the insectisides the cartels in Mexico use to keep pest away from flowering plants. Let's just say a few of them are no longer used, or for that matter LEGAL in the U.S. Not that I care as I've never used drugs a day in my life...I'm just saying. 

[InnocentVixen]

Hahaha, please be my gringo Micky, you are my knight in shiny armor, it is so hard to stand on my bare feet on the dirt floors all day long making tortillas specially with my 10th baby on the way, I would feel so fortunate to try your cooking, since all there is over here to go with tortillas is salt and on special occasion, salsa 


@maritime: like I mentioned after my points, I don't like dancing, I am an only child and I would like to have only 1 baby, willing to consider 2 after a few years of brainwashing but that would be my limit. Guys that message me know this, but you'd be surprised how many choose not to believe me since I am from mexico I MUST love to dance and MUST want to make a bunch of babies.


lol yes, I've heard the "but it's natural so it doesn't count" before, this includes eating some sort of mushroom that leaves you some interesting side effects if I remember correctly... at least he was original I guess!


@Benjio: yes it can get a bit boring for you guys, it's mostly just searching through the scammers for most, I think your points are very reasonable, I would not be interested in a man who has a child but shows no interest in spending time with his little one. You know what the sad part is? that your point of "I would like to finish my degree and become a career woman" is not always true, some women feel they have to say this things to gringos to sound more modern and ambitious so by not being themselves they might miss a chance with a great guy that is looking for someone like her.


Please feel free to share funny stories you've heard from girls you've met that have been searching for a while too, I rather have a laugh at this things and prepare myself to keep reading through all those emails

[Jeff S]

What? A Mexican woman who doesn't want to fill the house with kids? What happened?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-L3JMk7C1A

[Bob_S]

• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
•  
  whats wrong with this?
   

Partly because it is a passe stereotype, something I was surprised to learn when I looked into it.  Over the past 30 years, birthrates in Latin America have just crashed, the most notable example being Brazil where the number of births per woman has fallen from 4.4 in 1980 to 1.9 today.

Even in Mexico, it has fallen from around 4 in 1980 to close to that of the U.S. today (a little over 2).  See here.
Simply put, as women move into the middle class, they want to have fewer children.  And that pattern is the same all over the world.  IV is clearly middle or upper class for Mexico, so naturally she would want just 1, maybe 2 children.  And the women you are most likely to meet via an agency or through the internet will be somewhere in the middle class range for her country.  Just based on statistics, finding a woman who still wants a big family is becoming increasingly difficult.  Not impossible, just difficult.

Oh, back on topic, deal breaker:
"I don't believe in using the pill. It makes you fat. My husband will have to use condoms."  Said by a very smart and charming girl I met in St. Petersburg.

[benjio]

Partly because it is a passe stereotype, something I was surprised to learn when I looked into it.  Over the past 30 years, birthrates in Latin America have just crashed, the most notable example being Brazil where the number of births per woman has fallen from 4.4 in 1980 to 1.9 today.

Even in Mexico, it has fallen from around 4 in 1980 to close to that of the U.S. today (a little over 2).  See here.
Simply put, as women move into the middle class, they want to have fewer children.  And that pattern is the same all over the world.  IV is clearly middle or upper class for Mexico, so naturally she would want just 1, maybe 2 children.  And the women you are most likely to meet via an agency or through the internet will be somewhere in the middle class range for her country.  Just based on statistics, finding a woman who still wants a big family is becoming increasingly difficult.  Not impossible, just difficult.

Oh, back on topic, deal breaker:
"I don't believe in using the pill. It makes you fat. My husband will have to use condoms."  Said by a very smart and charming girl I met in St. Petersburg.

Bob, great points...but I can't help but wonder how much that has to do with desire, as you repeatedly used the word "want" in your post. Do you think before they had as many opportunities to "seguir adelante" they actually "wanted" to have lots of kids?
 
While having a few beers and conversating with a VERY poor Colombian guy in Barranquilla a couple of years ago, I discovered he had 5 kids with his wife and 3 more with a longtime mistress. He was only 40 years old. When I asked how he managed to make so many babies, his answer was simply, "boredom." Gotta love Costeños!!!!

[jm21-2]

I suspect most women never wanted to have 4+ kids and the advent of better and cheaper birth control is far more responsible for the change than cultural shifts...

[fathertime]

Partly because it is a passe stereotype, something I was surprised to learn when I looked into it.  Over the past 30 years, birthrates in Latin America have just crashed, the most notable example being Brazil where the number of births per woman has fallen from 4.4 in 1980 to 1.9 today.

Even in Mexico, it has fallen from around 4 in 1980 to close to that of the U.S. today (a little over 2).  See here.
Simply put, as women move into the middle class, they want to have fewer children.  And that pattern is the same all over the world.  IV is clearly middle or upper class for Mexico, so naturally she would want just 1, maybe 2 children.  And the women you are most likely to meet via an agency or through the internet will be somewhere in the middle class range for her country.  Just based on statistics, finding a woman who still wants a big family is becoming increasingly difficult.  Not impossible, just difficult.

Oh, back on topic, deal breaker:
"I don't believe in using the pill. It makes you fat. My husband will have to use condoms."  Said by a very smart and charming girl I met in St. Petersburg.

I read a recent report showing that Latina birthrates in the USA have also suddenly started crashing. 


Fathertime! 

[maritime04]

There was an intresting article on that in the national geographic, also in FP we have a global reduction in numbers for most countrys, we are only replacing ourselves. Many pops are on the slow and steady fall..............
 
IN: I could not imagine the stuff stuff women here men say to women, i know i have had a few open mouth insert foot moments!

[CeeTeeEnn]

Benjio, i have another number to add to your deal-breaker list:

6) Q: "So why are you intereted in meeting a guy/foreigner/gringo/European etc. from outside of your own country....?"
    A:  "All the men in my country are unfaithful/abusive/irresponsible/bad partners etc. and i'm tired of meeting them"

Funny thing is, some agencies are still training their ladies to use this type of reply when asked such a question...

[InnocentVixen]

That's an interesting one CeeTeeEnn, there is plenty of women out there that are just tired of men in her country, just like there is plenty of men tired of women in their country and looking abroad, I think this type of people can have a pretty good deal and even a decent life if they get together, at least they will have a more positive attitude towards the relationship... para todo roto hay un descosido.



My answer to that question when I stumbled upon this forum a few years ago was not much different from that, except for the fact that I've never been attracted to men in my own country and haven't really given them a chance so I didn't have the time to get "tired of them", looking around friends and family though, I would still agree with those girls that finding a faithful man is very rare and the spoiling the mothers do to their male sons doesn't help either.


I just happened to meet a gringo by chance and it all clicked, after that I was hooked and can't imagine myself settling for less than for someone I have a strong emotional, physical and even somewhat intellectual connection, that is something I have never found in my own country and while it's rare everywhere I managed to find it twice in the states but neither of them had that attitude where they thought american women were the problem, so I do understand where you are coming from.

[Fuzzyone]

My Dear Innocent Vixen -
 
I read your profile and must say I think that we would be great together.  I know that my profile says that I am 61 but my mug shot,  I mean my foto,  makes me look older.  I have lost a hundred pounds since that foto.  I am in great shape now,  I have been working out everyday in the yard with the other inmates.  Actually,  I am a guard here at the Texas state prison,  I was just joking about the "other inmates",  I am very funny when I am not being very serious.  I am getting out in two months,  I mean retiring,  and would really like to start a relationship with you.  I was wondering if I took the bus down to Brownsville could you meet me there?  I have some nice camping gear in storage and if I can get it out I know a really nice camp ground (they have showers with hot water!) where we could stay.  I am a good cook,  I know fifty ways to turn Spam into something special.  We could have a few beers,  go skinnydipping have a good time getting to know each other.
I would come to your city to meet you,  but right now I do not have a passport and I am not sure that I can get one anytime soon.
Waiting to hear back from you my love.
Love You Always -
Micky

  I tell you Micky you can just charm a lady's pants off    You animal I will have to use these on my wife jajajaja Good Post!

[CeeTeeEnn]

Thank you for your comments IV.

The point I was making reflected on speil i have seen mentioned often on the profiles of several international dating sites (i have had it recited to me on occasion in emails.) And while there may be serious intent behind them, such blanket comments appear (to my mind at least) disingenuous and merely designed to convince naive middle-aged middle-of-the-road western males into believing that 18 year old hotties are attracted to them for credible reasons.

However, your comments do highlight a bigger picture. There are women in non-Western (1st world) countries who are attracted to western guys for all the right reasons, as you yourself appear to be, and I have often posted here that it is precisely such girls who should be #1 on any serious partner-seeker's wish list whichever country or culture they choose to explore. Questions may remain as how to identify such girls (do they hang out at events frequented by Westerners, do they travel here, dress differently etc.) and while there may be a variety of conflicting views, i maintain that the one most reliable giveaway sign displayed by such girls is their desire to learn and perfect the English language.

There is another point - to what extent does a person's (man or woman) disillusionment with the dating scene within his own country reflect upon their disillusionment with 1) their culture in general, and 2) the opposite gender in general. I believe that everyone browsing P-L with a desire to set off on foreign partner-seeking committments must consider these points separately before attempting to make any balanced judgements as to where exactly is best suited for them to perform their search. But that's a topic for a different post to this.

[whitey]

There is another point - to what extent does a person's (man or woman) disillusionment with the dating scene within his own country reflect upon their disillusionment with 1) their culture in general, and 2) the opposite gender in general. I believe that everyone browsing P-L with a desire to set off on foreign partner-seeking committments must consider these points separately before attempting to make any balanced judgements as to where exactly is best suited for them to perform their search. But that's a topic for a different post to this.

Good point.  Speaking for myself (ok, who else would it be?), since travelling to Latin America over the last 4 years or so, I've become very disillusioned with many things about Western culture, including the women, but not limited to just that.

This isn't to say that Latin America is perfect ... there are many things wrong there too ... but it really opened my eyes ...

[RioRanger]

We all know that there are many weirdo's out there on the internet, in fact we might count as some of those depending on the point of view, what are the most baffling deal breakers you have heard when getting to know someone online? the kind of thing that seems to be going well until you hear, "oh, by the way..."


Here are mine:

• I don't believe in contraception, if you get prego on the wedding night so be it.
• Oh I said single because that is what I consider myself, I am separated.
• I have a roommate, she is my ex, but we are divorced so don't worry.
• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
• I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.
• My car is in the shop, could you visit me?
• I was recently deported from the U.S.
• Send me at least 2 full body naked pictures of you (front and back)
• I would rather we meet in Vegas so we can get married there.
• I'm 67 years old but perform like a 50 year old.

This would all make really funny sarcastic jokes but behold... this guys were not being sarcastic, and sorry, number 10 was so hilarious to me that I had to include it, this is obviously from an introduction email I had no interest in replying to since the age range I am looking for is somewhere between 30-42... I must admit I am often tempted by older gentlemen (45-48) but trying to get rid of that mindset.


For some that don't know me well enough some might not sound too much of a deal breaker, so allow me to refresh a few facts about me, I am an only child, don't like dancing, can't even count myself as social drinker since I might have like 2 drinks a year at most so definitely not a party girl, would like a baby after a few years of marriage, I have an american tourist visa and relatives living (legally) in the states, respect tradition, a bit old fashioned but I like to think I am open minded enough to talk about pretty much anything, my one rule is visit me first and if we get along I might visit you every once in a while and all those points were said after the guys knew this and more about me.

Vixen: what your stated about not liking to dance or being able to dance is really not that out of the ordinary . My high school sweetheart (former fiance ) felt the same way as you do and she was also Mexican. The having children part is also something we both discussed and came to the conclusion that after  a few years of marriage would be best. We wanted to foucs on being husband and wife first before adding kids to the equation.

Additionally, the comment about mothers spoiling their sons was a topic hot for her as well becuase she often complained about that too! Lol!

[InnocentVixen]

sounds like she and I would get along well! 

[piglett]

"oh, by the way..."Here are mine:
 

• I don't believe in contraception, if you get prego on the wedding night so be it.
• Oh I said single because that is what I consider myself, I am separated.
• I have a roommate, she is my ex, but we are divorced so don't worry.
• I want a good latin wife because I want a big family and love to dance.
• I have a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke, except for pot every other weekend.
• My car is in the shop, could you visit me?
• I was recently deported from the U.S.
• Send me at least 2 full body naked pictures of you (front and back)
• I would rather we meet in Vegas so we can get married there.
• I'm 67 years old but perform like a 50 year old.

This would all make really funny sarcastic jokes but behold... this guys were not being sarcastic, and sorry, number 10 was so hilarious to me that I had to include it, this is obviously from an introduction email I had no interest in replying to since the age range I am looking for is somewhere between 30-42... I must admit I am often tempted by older gentlemen (45-48) but trying to get rid of that mindset.

IV you mite owe me a keyboard if i can't get all of this sticky Coke off of mine.
W O W! that is some funny stuff. & the ladies in the Philippines that are related to my wife all wonder why i can't seem to find them a good man. i guess they are few & far between.

[robert angel]

Vixen: what your stated about not liking to dance or being able to dance is really not that out of the ordinary . My high school sweetheart (former fiance ) felt the same way as you do and she was also Mexican. The having children part is also something we both discussed and came to the conclusion that after  a few years of marriage would be best. We wanted to foucs on being husband and wife first before adding kids to the equation.

Additionally, the comment about mothers spoiling their sons was a topic hot for her as well becuase she often complained about that too! Lol!

 
First, I.V.'s list of "Deal Breakers" was hilarious!! Easy for me, being a guy to laugh out loud--if I had to deal with such pathetic folks from time to time, it might be different--it would get old quick.


I think most women around the world prefer that a guy know how to dance--perhaps even to take the 'lead'--some initiative there.
 
That said, my wife couldn't dance a lick when I met her and had never even set foot in a bar. After she got here, we went out a couple times and as long as we were with another couple or two (I suppose it helped that none of us were 'great' dancers) she began to loosen up and enjoy it--we had some laughs. But I don't think she's ever said--"Let's go out dancing". I think I could count on one hand (and still use a toothpick) how many times my wife has finished a whole beer or mixed drink--Like I.V., she's a very light drinker--and I'm glad.
 
It's a purely personal opinion, but I feel for the sake of any future children, as well as the couple, newlyweds should wait at least a couple years before having children, so that they are relatively sure they're expanding upon a good and stable situation.
 
I know some women in their mid to late thirties feel their biological clock is ticking and want to hurry up on raising a family, and that some guys, consciously or subconsciously, (or out of insecurity) think "If I get her pregnant--she'll NEVER leave me!"--but I personally don't think that's worth risking  bringing children into a rather uncertain situation. Having kids is priceless-- precious, but such things take a lot of thought, time and responsibility and it's not for everyone. Even some absolutely wonderful, mentally and physically fit people decide for various reasons, not to have kids.

In some nations, often in the most industrialized and highly educated nations, the notion not to have kids has scary ramifications, as the overall population's average age gets higher and higher. But here in the USA, I have been in dozens and dozens of schools and I sometimes think "Our 'genetic pool' needs a lot more chlorine."