Presents for Navidad. How stingy is stingy?

[beginthebeguin]

Question: Is one present each to a novia's parents considered being too stingy. I am under the impression that in the latino culture one personal present is enough to give to a family member on Navidad. And are not presents to either parent considerd a slight to the family on the novio's part?

[Fuzzyone]

Question: Is one present each to a novia's parents considered being too stingy. I am under the impression that in the latino culture one personal present is enough to give to a family member on Navidad. And are not presents to either parent considerd a slight to the family on the novio's part?

  If you have not met the parents you are making a very large mistake. If this works out after visiting her then fine buy the parents a present next Christmas but you do not even know them what are you going to buy them? The mistake will be you will become the cash cow for the family if you do become married, the family will think you are made of money because you are buying them presents and they have no ideal who you are. If you want to buy something for your girl who you have not met in person then throw the dice who knows it might work out.

[dennislevy]

if a gringo has a real time novia and he has MET the family, he has been a guest in the home of the parents and the relationship is continung througgh Christmas,  I think ONE nice, but not extravagant present for each of the parents is acceptable. AND that s not stingy....
 
In the three past Christmases , 2008 to 2010 , I ve only had one novia during Christmas, that was in 2008 in Bogota. I gave her dad a nice scarf and I gave her mom a tin gift box of dried fruit.
 
Unless something dramatic happens , I won t have to buy presents for ANYONE in Peru for Christmas 2011!   
 
   

[fathertime]

Question: Is one present each to a novia's parents considered being too stingy. I am under the impression that in the latino culture one personal present is enough to give to a family member on Navidad. And are not presents to either parent considerd a slight to the family on the novio's part?

I think you should buy each parent at least 3-4 presents, and don't forget the aunts, uncles, grandparents, and the internet provider for your cyber novia!   
or you could just follow Fuzzy's advice.


Fathertime! 

[V_Man]

I have met her whole family and stayed in their home.
I wasn't going to buy any of them Christmas presents. Not even her.
Unfortunately I can't be there for Christmas. Anything I sent them would cost twice as much to send as the thing was worth. I seriously doubt it would arrive on time anyway.

However this is not the main reason. The main reason is that they could not possibly buy and send me a Christmas present. I would not want a Christmas present sent to me when I knew I could not reciprocate. Why would they feel any different?

My own family have moved well away from the commercialisation of Christmas. My limited understanding is that giving gifts for Navidad is also not as entrenched in Colombia.

It is true that, I have already given her an expensive gift anyway. However in my mind this is rather irrelevant.

I gave them all thoughtful gifts when I meet them recently. They liked their gifts but all of them gave me the distinct impression they were more interested in what sort of person I was. They definately did not expect anything.

One thing that I am sure of is that my girl would not be pleased if I did not travel to be with her yet I sent a bunch of expensive gifts. She would not be pleased about that at all. In fact I think she'd be quite pissed and a little troubled. So would I if I was her.

BtheB forgive me for being a little blunt but you could wring your hands for months about all kinds of things or you could do the one thing that really matters.

Mate!

Get on a friggin plane!

[Gato4Astrid]

I have already bought Xmas presents for the 2 girls, Taty and Sofia.  I bought them 3 pieces of clothing each.   I also bought a bracelet making set for Sofia (age , and Taty (age 14), a fashion designer set


As for my novia, Astrid, I have no idea, but as for her birthday (16th December) I have already given her 2 long dresses which she received few days ago.  These dresses came from my eShop   She needs it for going to a friend's wedding on 16th December.  It will be on my novia's birthday


But, buying PlayStation for the girls are no-go! 

[Micky]

VM -
 
Correct!  Here Christmas is a huge party and time of year,  but the whole buying crap is VERY back burner.  All over the family,  there will be decorations off the hook,  just making a guess,  maybe 20% of the trees have ANYTHING under them.  Dora,  Mateo and myself normally will get one gift.  We do not buy,  or recieve gifts from,  or to anyone else.  The part of Christmas that is buying gifts is,  on average,  not the deal here.  And again correct,  save your dough and get on the plane,  that's a gift for you and her!
 
Micky

[JimD]

I brought my novia's parents some brightly colored glass beeds and some small mirrors and other trinkets. They were pretty excited and I promised next year I'd by them all big tatoos.

[vikingo]

Jim, I was thinking more along the lines of a good sturdy hatchet and several rolls of bailing wire so they can built themself a nice home and for her mom some Capt'n Black pipe tobacco.

[JimD]

Sounds good Viking. I'm not sure about the hatchet except guess it would be ok in checked luggage.

[euforia51]

Correct!  Here Christmas is a huge party and time of year,  but the whole buying crap is VERY back burner. 
Micky

It is that time of year again. I will be spending my 2nd Christmas in Medellin and can concur that the gifts seem to be back burner. I am going to bring my novia a little something(s), of course. As for the rest of her family, last year I brought some 6 lbs. of chocolates and other informal goodies and it worked out great. You can always take people out to dinner if the situation is to arise, and pay for coffee and drinks if you're out and about, etc.

[InnocentVixen]

I think if you have a real novia, meaning you have met in person and got along and both agree that you are in an exclusive relationship with each other... a christmas gift is a nice detail, to buy things and send them over is just not worth it, if you can't give the gift in person I would advice you buy from an online shop that is located in her country that way the delivery costs won't be as much and she still gets a nice detail or if you have connections to have someone to bring it over or buy it for you over there.


I don't think gifts for the parents should cross your mind unless you have been in a relationship for a long time already and have met them, even more so if you are engaged... and still I would give the same advice above as the novia one.


As for how many gifts, that depends on the person giving and receiving the gift, if you want to give one for both that is fine, if you want to give one each that is fine too, in my case for example I know that my father couldn't care less about gifts but my mother would certainly appreciate the detail, even though she would not expect anything.

[Researcher]

                                                   


                                     The Grinch

[beginthebeguin]

Cute comebacks aside, Researcher I suggest you 'cut the crap' and get off of my 'case'. When I am ready to 'afford' to fly down there with all it's accompanying costs I will do so. As I have said to some members of this forum privately I sometimes post questions from the point of view of  'newbies' to the forum who are far too scared to even ask some questions because of the '[snip] storm' of  so-called 'sage' advice given from some members here who don't even take the time to read someone's posts carefully, and have the short term memories of a Alzheimer's patient. 
 

[Fuzzyone]

Cute comebacks aside, Researcher I suggest you 'cut the crap' and get off of my 'case'. When I am ready to 'afford' to fly down there with all it's accompanying costs I will do so. As I have said to some members of this forum privately I sometimes post questions from the point of view of  'newbies' to the forum who are far too scared to even ask some questions because of the '[snip] storm' of  so-called 'sage' advice given from some members here who don't even take the time to read someone's posts carefully, and have the short term memories of a Alzheimer's patient.

  If you do not want to hear the advice then don't ask ok? Because you do not want to hear what anyone here has to say and you get angry when no one agrees with you.


    I think the advice here is DON'T BUY PRESENTS FLY TO COLOMBIA INSTEAD!!

[InnocentVixen]

I think the advice here is DON'T BUY PRESENTS FLY TO COLOMBIA INSTEAD!!

Spending time with you is the most wonderful gift your novia can get, I agree with that

[beginthebeguin]

Fussyone said

If you do not want to hear the advice then don't ask ok? Because you do not want to hear what anyone here has to say and you get angry when no one agrees with you.

No that is not the point. I agree with the advice. It 's good it's honest and heartfelt. I am not angry with the advice given even if I don't agree with it. What I don't agree with is the constant sniping I am seeing on this board. This forum could be a lot better if some of you 'sages' really read what is being asked. That is all. Nuff said. 

[fathertime]

Fussyone said No that is not the point. I agree with the advice. It 's good it's honest and heartfelt. I am not angry with the advice given even if I don't agree with it. What I don't agree with is the constant sniping I am seeing on this board. This forum could be a lot better if some of you 'sages' really read what is being asked. That is all. Nuff said.

I was wondering when the 'real' BTB would appear! 


Fathertime!

[JimD]

Fussyone said No that is not the point. I agree with the advice. It 's good it's honest and heartfelt. I am not angry with the advice given even if I don't agree with it. What I don't agree with is the constant sniping I am seeing on this board. This forum could be a lot better if some of you 'sages' really read what is being asked. That is all. Nuff said.

Well said!

[Fuzzyone]

Fussyone said No that is not the point. I agree with the advice. It 's good it's honest and heartfelt. I am not angry with the advice given even if I don't agree with it. What I don't agree with is the constant sniping I am seeing on this board. This forum could be a lot better if some of you 'sages' really read what is being asked. That is all. Nuff said.

   BTB


     Why do you want to start fighting when there is no reason. It is fuzzyone for your information. I really did not call you anything but you are mad because of what? If everyone here is wrong and you are right then why keep asking the same questions that have been answered. I do not see sniping any where except what you just did.


     I do not consider myself a sage but I do have 12 more years experience than you F.T. has a ton of time several of posters here have globs of time but you do not want to listen to what anyone has to say that is ok, you go the path you want to but remember this I don't remember how many woman I met at the internet cafes in Barranquilla that were stringing along multiple guys to get presents and money.


     My wife had a saying for this " Keep several candles lit at the same time in case one goes out" and guess what you are a candle until you go visit her.

[Researcher]

Cute comebacks aside, Researcher I suggest you 'cut the crap' and get off of my 'case'. When I am ready to 'afford' to fly down there with all it's accompanying costs I will do so. As I have said to some members of this forum privately I sometimes post questions from the point of view of  'newbies' to the forum who are far too scared to even ask some questions because of the '[snip] storm' of  so-called 'sage' advice given from some members here who don't even take the time to read someone's posts carefully, and have the short term memories of a Alzheimer's patient.

   Oh my begginthebegin such an angry sounding post and I thought we had a good repoire of wit and such comedy was accepted....my bad. I now know different and that's OK but don't go joining the ranks of the Uber-whiney.

   I must say you aren't the person I thought were and in light of my new found knowledge let this Old seasoned vet of international love give you some serious advice: Stay home. Yes, don't go. This goes for all those "shy newbies" you post for as well. If you are so sensitive as to not be able to accept advice you may not want to hear then you are wwaaaaayyyyyyy too sensitive for this venture, believe me. Also if a guy is too shy to post on an internet forum he is wwaaayyyyy too shy to deal with Colombianas.

Nuff said.....

          Researcher

[beginthebeguin]

Hey look folks I don't have the money saved up to go right now. Ok? HOW MANY TIMES do I have to explain it. It is humiliating enough to explain it to someone you care about, let alone some of you Yahoos.
There are some of you out there in Whoville who think that all of us can just jump on a plane at the drop of a hat and everything is going to be 'hunkey dory'. Life don't work that way. Not all of us have international lifestyles. Not all of us have the wherewithall to go to Peoria let alone Pereira on a whim.
Lighten up for Crissakes. Piling on should be banned here. Or at least frowned upon.  And Research if that was an apology I accept it gracefully.

[Fuzzyone]

Hey look folks I don't have the money saved up to go right now. Ok? HOW MANY TIMES do I have to explain it. It is humiliating enough to explain it to someone you care about, let alone some of you Yahoos.
There are some of you out there in Whoville who think that all of us can just jump on a plane at the drop of a hat and everything is going to be 'hunkey dory'. Life don't work that way. Not all of us have international lifestyles. Not all of us have the wherewithall to go to Peoria let alone Pereira on a whim.
Lighten up for Crissakes. Piling on should be banned here. Or at least frowned upon.  And Research if that was an apology I accept it gracefully.

   That is what everyone is trying to get across toy you "everything is going to be 'hunkey dory'. Life don't work that way" Then why are you thinking of sending everyone a present for christmas? If you do not have the money then you are not ready to do anything. 


    I have a question for you when you wake up in the morning do you put one pant leg on at a time or do you jump into your pants with both legs? I have failed several times in the life department but you know what in the morning no matter how tired I am I jump into that pair of pants because everyday is a new day.


   I slam Zon a lot but he does not let anything hold him back and I would guess if he is sober in the morning    he jumps in his pants for the start of a new day.

[z_k_g]

And Research if that was an apology I accept it gracefully.

That was a conditional apology 

Zulu

[Researcher]

Hey look folks I don't have the money saved up to go right now. Ok? HOW MANY TIMES do I have to explain it. It is humiliating enough to explain it to someone you care about, let alone some of you Yahoos.
There are some of you out there in Whoville who think that all of us can just jump on a plane at the drop of a hat and everything is going to be 'hunkey dory'. Life don't work that way. Not all of us have international lifestyles. Not all of us have the wherewithall to go to Peoria let alone Pereira on a whim.
Lighten up for Crissakes. Piling on should be banned here. Or at least frowned upon.  And Research if that was an apology I accept it gracefully.

    Not having the money is a legit reason not to go but the advice here is don't start a relationship if you can't go soon. It's good advice so don't take it personally.

   Yes, I realize my thinking we had some sort of repoire was a misunderstanding on my part. Insulting you was not my intentions at all so from now on I know to be serious with you.And in that spirit I'll repeat my serious advice for you: Don't go to Colombia. You are too sensitive. Those ladies will rip you to shreds.


      Researcher