Woody, here's a question for you

[sticky2]

I have a question specific to Woody and his experiences.  Hopefully he sees this and posts a response.


My question is in regard to drinking alcohol and the cultures of Colombia and the Philippines.  I noticed a pattern in Woody's posts that he spent time in Colombia and eventually couldn't deal with the party culture because he doesn't drink alcohol.  Then he had a similar experience with the Philippine culture.


My question to Woody is, was the party culture a "deal killer" for you?  You haven't posted any trips or stories about novias in a while.  Have you decided against South America and the Philippines for women or even possibly living there? I'm not sure if you were thinking of moving to either of those places.


I know that Dennis says he doesn't drink alcohol, and he seems to love it down there.


My life plans involve moving to either South America, or the Phils, or maybe having a house in both places to go back and forth.  I hate drinking, and wonder if my plans are just fantasies because I will end up bored and alone because I'm not a big drinker.  I have a pretty social personality, but as I'm getting older, I find that most nights I stay home and watch TV, and on "crazy" nights, maybe dinner and a movie.


Of course, I'm also interested in other poster's opinions as well.  What are your thoughts on living in these "party cultures" as a non-drinker?


Sticky

[thekfc]

I seldom drink but when I drink my choice of drink is Guinness Stout.
 
On my trips to the Philippines I was offered drinks but I graciously turn down most of request - the only drink I accepted was San Mig Light.
 
In my wife's area of Taguig City, Saturday is sing-a-long day. They would partially close the street, have a karaoke outside and then drink & sing. Sometimes there are cock fights or playing cards. It is their way of "unwinding" after a long week working.
 
I do not view the PI as a "party culture".  I see much much more drinking here in NYC than I saw in the PI.
 
I was told that a bottle of Godiva Liquer I gave one of my wife's brother-in-law is sitting untouched in his carbinet as a decoration piece and that was over a year ago.
 
I do not see myself or a  non-drinker having a problem living in the PI because of the alcohol/parting.
I do plan on living in the PI part time and if I have any alcohol in the house  - it would be to entertain guest during an ocassion and not to entertain someone who just drop by.
 
It is all up to you and what lifestyle you want to live - a party lifestyle or non-party lifestyle.

[Micky]

Stick -
They for sure know how to party here.  You can not always tell the difference between a person that drinks or one that does not.  The culture here is family and friends with a lot of get togethers,  there is always music,  dancing,  laughing,  drinking and chatting it up.  No one really cares if one drinks or not,  simply that all have a good time.  One of my favorite things about the Colombians,  if you show love and respect for the people and the country,  these people relish that respect.  They have had so many dark years and negative comments,  "Colombia,  Escobar,  putas,  FARC and drugs",  when someone comes along that truly admires their country and culture,  they take you right in like no place else.  My experience anyway.
 
Micky

[whitey]

My experience is similar to Micky's.  I enjoy drinking, but I don't like to get drunk and rarely have more than 2-3 drinks at a time.

You can easily choose not to hang out with drunks or situations where the main objective is drinking to excess, instead of sharing time with friends, family, dancing, music, etc.

[sticky2]

Kfc, Micky, and Whitey, thanks for your posts. I guess the answer to my question is just common sense, and I totally understand that it depends more on me than anything else.


Like the saying goes..... "No matter where you go, there YOU are".


I'm still curious if Woody has given up on these cultures because of the alcohol thing.


Sticky

[robert angel]

I have been offered drinks(alcohol)  many, many times in the Philippines in many different kinds of social situations and while when I've politely declined, they have asked me again, sometimes several times. I think that's largely out of hospitality, much the same way they're about food. I still typically hung out with whoever was drinking and sometimes they got pretty ripped. But nobody ever gave me a hard time or even hinted I wasn't a 'guy's guy' because I didn't drink. A lot of Filipino guys have drinking problems and I think the women there respect a guy who doesn't drink, more so than most American women do.

I agree with Kfc that a 'drinking culture' is much more a part of life in places like NYC, as it also seems to me in other USA cities. In the PI, a six y/o kid can go buy his old man a six pack of Red Horse--it's no big deal.

It's even more a part of the culture in the city I live in now, in the south--from the richest neighborhoods, to the slums. Kids hide out and 'binge drink' a die in car wrecks. In fact in this city, it's legal if you're 21 y/o to walk around with a mixed drink, beer or wine on the street, as long as it's in a plastic cup. At some 'civic events' people walk around with 32 ounce glasses of whatever they're drinking. Never saw that in the Philippines and unlike there, around here, they look at you like you're kind of weird if you don't drink.

[Researcher]

Stick -
They for sure know how to party here.  You can not always tell the difference between a person that drinks or one that does not.  The culture here is family and friends with a lot of get togethers,  there is always music,  dancing,  laughing,  drinking and chatting it up.  No one really cares if one drinks or not,  simply that all have a good time.  One of my favorite things about the Colombians,  if you show love and respect for the people and the country,  these people relish that respect.  They have had so many dark years and negative comments,  "Colombia,  Escobar,  putas,  FARC and drugs",  when someone comes along that truly admires their country and culture,  they take you right in like no place else.  My experience anyway.
 
Micky

          Correct Micky.Showing respect for their culture goes a long way.As far as drinking goes it varies just like here in the US.There are drinking crowds and non-drinking crowds with everything in between.I prefer the in between crowds myself because whether or not I drink depends on if I feel like it or not.

           Having spent time in Colombia and the Philippines I have to say it still depends on who you are with.I don't think there are "drinking" cultures and "non-drinking" cultures, except for the Germans of course! hahaha!


            Researcher 

[Fuzzyone]

  I really did not drink much in Barranquilla with my wife either. I did go out with her friends and her one night and got smashed but my wife's family did not really drink at all. I bought a six pac one night and her mother drank a beer with me but each his own!

[InnocentVixen]

You can easily choose not to hang out with drunks or situations where the main objective is drinking to excess, instead of sharing time with friends, family, dancing, music, etc.

I agree with whitey, as a girl that doesn't like drinking, dancing or smoking (and is not religious!) that grew up in a culture where the idea of a party starts as a family thing with some dancing and then at some point of the party the men and women divide so women can chat away and the men can drink away, I must say you must choose your battles and time things right.

If they are heavy drinkers, after they get to know you though, it doesn't really matter, you could also be brave and hang in there while they look at you like you have 3 eyes or something until they see you really don't need a drink to have fun, don't like the stuff and have no problem with them having as many as they want. Of course me being a woman takes A LOT of the pressure a man would get, double that if your lady drinks.

[dennislevy]

As was pointed out, I dont drink..I don t mind being in a family party situation where people are dancing and drinking, because I like to dance.
 
A couple of time4s at parties, someone insisted  more then once that I take a drink and I ve said very directly to them ....I dont drink...what part of that dont you understand? 
 
And they backed off. 
 
When I date, I look for women who don t drink or don t drink much. I m very upfront with a woman....that I dont drink any beer or wine or liquor and I tell them that on line....or sometimes if there s a quick date at the first face to face.
 
I ll buy a woman a glass of wine or maybe two, or a cocktail or a ocuple of beers, but thats it. 
 
My ex novia in Medellin and I had a very good arrangement.....if we went out, she ordered juice, if we were at my apartment, we drank juice or soda or water of coffee , if we were at her family s home and I was a guest she would drink a beer with a sandwich.
 
If all the family got together for lunch or dinner on Sunday and AFTER the argudiente would come out for the men.....someone would say to one of the kids...go down  to the store and get  bottle of Coke for Dennis. 
 
 

[savvy]

There is plenty of drinking and partying in the Philippines. Especially in the big cities. There are plenty of clubs that stay open all night long and they aren't empty either.

[Traveler]

Well, I do drink, but moderately, once in awhile, and only with friends I know very well.  In my culture people do drink, so I know how to "wing it", drink a little bit, and appear like I am hanging with the rest.  Besides, as I have noticed, I don't get drunk a great deal from guaro.
 
However, I don't like women who drink, or rather who drink to the point that they are drunk.  That's a major turn off.  Whenever I have gone out in Colombia, I was always with friends, so I did drink a little, but this was not every day, and I didn't get drunk.  I would rather not drink at all, but short of moving to Saudi Arabia it is pretty much unavoidable unless you want to appear antisocial.
 
The only group of people who reliably don't drink are devout Muslims.

[fathertime]

  I really did not drink much in Barranquilla with my wife either. I did go out with her friends and her one night and got smashed but my wife's family did not really drink at all. I bought a six pac one night and her mother drank a beer with me but each his own!

Along the same lines as fuzzy me and my Colombian wife (before she was my wife) didn't drink more than a couple beers any given night....recently in colombia (after a couple years of marriage) we went out with a group of her short skirted friends and drank quite a bit at a club...really a fun time.  it is good to be versatile! 


Fathertime!

[beginthebeguin]

One lady asked  why I did not drink with my friends in the states anymore. I told her that I am the designated driver here in the States and most of my friends are way past the 'drinking beer with the guys' age.
 But I said, "I am not against having a nice dry white wine from Califorinia with some Pacific langostinos and pasta in an nice alfredo sauce with a garden salad. I will have to cook that for you sometimes.
Her reaction was "Que rrrrrrrrico!".  Hey, you got to show some skills besides your 'gringo-ness'. jajajaja

[JR33]

The only group of people who reliably don't drink are devout Muslims.

That's because the hashish they get is stronger than most liquors and the really devout get the best stuff. I've been in the middle east a while now and have met my share of muslims.

[thekfc]

There is plenty of drinking and partying in the Philippines. Especially in the big cities. There are plenty of clubs that stay open all night long and they aren't empty either.

You will find that in just about anywhere you go in the world. As previously stated, it comes down to the lifestyle you want to live & who you hand-out with/want to hang-out with.

When I was offered drinks in the PI, my wife would tell them I wasn't a drinker. She herself isn't a drinker - just the smell of alcohol would give her "crazy legs". 
Also most of my wife's family are either non drinkers or "casual" drinkers. 

[z_k_g]

My sweetie does not drink she is 21.  Well...she may drink a Tanduay Ice or San Mig Light when she is with friends but typically she will not finish it.

I asked her a lot of qualifying questions when we met online (Date In Asia) because I wanted to make sure she at least passed some basic criteria, once of which was she a drinker.  Thankfully she was not.

She also asked me questions, one of the first, if not the first was was I drinker.  I think If I had been she would not have been interested.  Apparently she has a few family members who are complete drunks, cheats and gamblers (I didn't meet them).  She had no desire to have any of that in her life.

While I was briefly in Cebu, I saw many very drunk pinays near the clubbing area.  In Bohol, at club Atmosphere and a few other places, I saw none, just moderate boozing.  The two places are night and day in terms of numbers, Cebu has thousands of people and very urban, Bohol only a few and is more rural and provincial with clean beaches , hence the difference. 

(In HK the pinays were totally out of control with beer, hard liquor and including shabu (crack) and heroin and coke!  But that's another post!  )

My impression of the small slice of the Philippines I saw was that many pinoys and pinays drink socially and it starts early in life and there is really no social stigma associated with being a boozer that I could detect. 

I kept hearing (from my sweeties female friends that wanted me to hook them up with Americans) that a lot of younger husbands booze it up and rut with as many young nubile pinays as possible and have more babies (little or no birth control) and this is a motivating factor for the females to want a foreign husband who they feel may be a bit more responsible (not always true).

My sweeties family seemed to have its share of casual drinkers but it wasn't a daily occupation for the males I met. The pinoys I met worked, had college degrees, families and seemed to be productive citizens.  No one ever asked to borrow any money from me.  As far as outside children, I didn't ask!  (I was never introduced to the drunk, loser or bum family members, I guess that will come during another visit! )

Anyways, I'm not a drinker and, like some of our other posters, declined politely when offered social booze or just sipped on a San Mig Light, red horse or Tanduay ice so not to appear rude.  Nobody seemed to mind, more booze for them!    Red Horse is pretty popular among the older men, that was uncles favorite drink!

Zulu

[Big_Al]

I drink some but I'm not a heavy drinker. I always like to keep a clear head when in another country. I won't even touch the heavy stuff if I am in a new place and not familiar with my surroundings.

I don't have a problem with a woman who drinks as long as it isn't too much. I broke up with a woman because she had a drinking problem. She hid it very well. I really didn't notice until I was looking at some photos of us and noticed ahe had a drink in her hand in every one. Once I picked up on that I paid attention and saw she had a real problem.

[hamburger]

When someone insists, I simply say liver problems and they back off.

[Zon]

it is good to be versatile! 

For over a decade, I drank almost nothing and was in bed by 11:00 PM.   The thought of drinking and dancing ALL NIGHT AND HALF OF THE NEXT DAY was utterly unthinkable to me.  Then, the DR happened to me.  Then, Colombia happened to me.

I have drunk waaay more than I should have in Colombia, somehow, never lost my head - only my judgment  (well, there was that one time    Nowadays, I have to TRY to stay "inbounds".  Dancing more seriously helps me - you can't be buzzed and dance well, especially Latino.

I have found that drinking often times accelerates the bounding and trust process especially with Colombianos.

[Jeff S]

Pretty hard to get away with being a teetotaler in Japan, China or Korea, especially of there's any kind of business involved. It's not so bad in Mexico - I know a few there who manage to do fine. In the more religious countries, well Christian countries, there seems to be a higher percentage of non-drinkers.


In Japan there is no minimum drinking age, you can buy beer and even whiskey from vending machines outdoors on the streets. It' not unusual to see high school students in their school uniforms at happy hour. They're VERY serious about drinking and driving, though, but will all the transportation options, it isn't really a problem.

[Researcher]

    You got that right Jeff S. I thought tequila was strong until I tried Korean Soju! You can remove paint with that stuff.As far as drinking in Mexico there is more of it there than here in the US I think.I went to Industrial Tool shows where free tequila drinks and beer were free in Mexico and Monterrey Mexico has been called the city of cold juevos because all the men drive with a beer between their legs!


        Researcher

[whitey]

Many women in Colombia value a man that drinks very little or not at all, since there can be a lot of drinking and irresponsible behavior among the men sometimes ... especially on the coast.

I don't mean to contradict my earlier statement because it IS easy to choose situations where there is very little drinking, and my wife's family hardly drinks at all ... but still ... some guys do drink a lot ... and some other guys maybe don't drink that often, but when they do ... it can be quite heavy.

I've made 11 trips, been to 3 New Years parties, gone out several times to clubs and bars, but have never been around anything that was noticable to me as heavy drinking.  But you can certainly look around Barranquilla and see a lot of people hanging out in open air bars and licorerias knocking back the drinks.

On the weekends when my wife and I were skyping at night and talking about our days, I would very often tell her that I had spent a few hours at a cafe, hanging out with friends drinking coffee and talking.  She found that hard to believe at first, because that very rarely happens in on the coast in Colombia.  For a major coffee producing country, it's not easy to find a cafe in Barranquilla apart from the handful of Juan Valdez's. 

When guys get together to talk on the weekend in Barranquilla, chances are it will be at a bar or licoreria, and the table will be full of empties (for some reason, they like to leave them all on the table - must be a badge of honour or something).

[Jason1]

I am a moderate social drinker. My wife seems ok with it but she doesn't drink at all. That comes in handy because she does all the driving when we go socializing.

I haven't seen alot of heavy drinking in Colombia when I have been there but I am sure it is probably like any other country.

[michaelb]

When guys get together to talk on the weekend in Barranquilla, chances are it will be at a bar or licoreria, and the table will be full of empties (for some reason, they like to leave them all on the table - must be a badge of honour or something).

Not sure about mixed drinks, but if you're talking about beer bottles or draft beer served in a glass, counting the empties is how the waiter knows how much to charge when they are ready to leave.