Is economic security the main reason?

[beginthebeguin]

I'm very close with two colombianas both are not young women and yet they still dream of going to Disneyland. Go figya!!!!!!
I am not sure if it's the mystique of the artificial environment that is Disneyland or if it's cultural conditioning on the part of MSM in Colombia itself. Quien sabe? 

[Fuzzyone]

I'm very close with two colombianas both are not young women and yet they still dream of going to Disneyland. Go figya!!!!!!
I am not sure if it's the mystique of the artificial environment that is Disneyland or if it's cultural conditioning on the part of MSM in Colombia itself. Quien sabe? 

   A lot of woman in Colombia old or young dream of coming to the U.S. they watch t.v. telling them all about the U.S. telling them about Disneyworld, land. My wife loves New York if she had a choice she would go there every day, me? I cannot stand New York but I would go to Disney world anyway of the week.

[robert angel]

I was born in Manhattan and I still love NYC, although it has changed in many ways over the last few decades. It represents to me the highest and lowest forms of civilization. I'd rather go there than Disney World. The minute I get off the plane in NYC, my pulse quickens--really all my senses become more acute, and it even seems my IQ picks up 15-20 points. I walk differently, am careful about who to look directly in the eye and who not to make eye contact with and I can feel if I'm in a place I ought not be at that moment. I wouldn't want to live there full time, as the pace would take years off my life, but I do enjoy the rush it offers, periodically. I also really like Chicago.....
To each their own....

[Fuzzyone]

I was born in Manhattan and I still love NYC, although it has changed in many ways over the last few decades. It represents to me the highest and lowest forms of civilization. I'd rather go there than Disney World. The minute I get off the plane in NYC, my pulse quickens--really all my senses become more acute, and it even seems my IQ picks up 15-20 points. I walk differently, am careful about who to look directly in the eye and who not to make eye contact with and I can feel if I'm in a place I ought not be at that moment. I wouldn't want to live there full time, as the pace would take years off my life, but I do enjoy the rush it offers, periodically. I also really like Chicago.....
To each their own....

   Sorry use to live about 5 hours from Chicago never liked it there either, I think it has to do with it being cold as hell in the winter.

[Traveler]

To live in NYC and enjoy it I would need 1) lots of money and 2) time to enjoy what it has to offer.  To live there and struggle is not enjoyable.

[InnocentVixen]

but how many Mexican women or Central American women do you see drooling over the thought of marrying a "gringo"?

I can't speak for all central american women, but I can tell you that it is pretty rare to find a mexicana drooling over the thought of marrying ANYONE except the man she is in love with, sure, we might fantasy a little about he will be tall, smart and handsome, but in the end we are even willing to overlook that if it feels right... and if he is brave enough to start the courtship process because we are not used to do the chasing.


Before this forum, my thought of colombianos in general (male and female) was... sorry to say this, but serious drug dealers. After being around this forum for a while I still pretty much have that opinion about the males except the females started to sound like real humans, good, bad, pretty, ugly, you know, just human females that happened to not be shy when it comes to flirting.


Just got back from a trip from the states to visit family, we had a birthday party for one of my nephews and I met some interesting people, quite a few from Venezuela and one that turned out to be a young colombiana, well kind of, the girl speaks bad spanish in a pocho-like manner and my cousin explained to me she has spent most of her life in the US but she still visits her country. It was her mother who brought her here but has no idea how her mother ended up in the states since they have no relatives and the lady is single.


I would have loved to meet her mother, the girl is attractive and obviously likes to dress sexy, but my opinion of her was not any better than any other wild americanized latino, single mother that loves to party, in fact she tried to make plans with me saying she would love to drive down to my city for carnaval... I was too busy taking care of her little girl to mention I don't even go out to bars, much less to carnaval.

[pat]

To live in NYC and enjoy it I would need 1) lots of money and 2) time to enjoy what it has to offer.  To live there and struggle is not enjoyable.

So true. There is nothing that special about NYC. I can't understand why anyone would be so intimidated by it. I don't feel any different in NYC as I do in Chicago. A big city is a big city.

[vikingo]

I would say the motivation of a colombiana to marry a foreigner depends on her social status. If she is poor she will marry for economic stability most of all, preferably a foreigner who is willing to live in her country. Her family will probably encourage her, hoping their lifes too will improve somewhat, at least there will be one less mouth to feed.
If she is an estrato 5 or 6 girl, she is most likely tired of Colombian men playing with her and not taking her seriously, in other words a commitment being the furthest thing on their mind.
If she is over 35 she is most of all worried about losing her job and never finding an other one because of her age, or her prospects of finding a job at this age are nil.
If she has a child or two without receiving support from the fathers she is in dire economic straits and will be more desperate to marry a foreigner than ever, because a colombiano in most cases will think twice of taking on more than one mouth to feed, unless she is extremely attractive or has a good paying job.
None of these women will ever admit they married a foreigner whom they normally consider seco or unromantic in comparison to a Latino (unless he is from Spain), for economic reasons. It is always the case of a Latino likely to cheat or has cheated on them, a point which can't be argued.
It is an interesting fact that a colombiana is hellbent on having a child, preferably a son and knowing full well the father is likely going to split and leaving her with a big economic burden. They don't want to be alone after the husband leaves her for a younger woman, an other reason why they usually have no problem marrying a man who is substancially older.
None of these somewhat negative thoughts apply to any of your wifes or girlfriends I pray but unfortunately one or more apply to my gf, I hate to admit.
Speaking of a colombiana having a child. For those of you who are looking still, be prepared that her son will be the most important thing in her life, her mother will be next and you will be third in line of importance, with very few exceptions. This observation does not apply to daughters, sons only.
I invite your comments...

[chameleon]

I think you'd have to be completely naive to not think that economic stability and improving their standard of living has something to do with the attraction to gringos. However, that trait is hardly unique to colombianas. There's a reason women thrown themselves at doctors, investment bankers, and other high-status professionals. All that isn't to say that you can't meet a woman that has genuine feelings for you. It can be and probably often is both.

From all the girls that I met at Jamie's, there weren't any that really stood out as interesadas. Most just wanted a happy life and a good future. The motivation and means used to obtain what they want are very different between interesadas and other types of women. I also think that some women, because of poverty, maybe do things men here would frown upon but i try not to make judgments without really getting to know a person.

[maritime04]

The sky is also BLUE........ just in case you didnt already know?
 
It intresting how you guys dwell on this stuff, get over it!!! suprise suprise, we want a young attractive wife, and some women want money and a better lifestyle....... I do not understand why this topic is always debated, over and over again. this horse is sooo dead its ground chuck! I like conversation just as much as anybody, we american (males) for now have a strong economic advantage among many other men around the world, THIS DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL LAST FOREVER OR THAT WE SHOULDNT ENJOY IT, but you better have more then cash to bring to the table.
 
Is economic security the main reason, i say it will open some doors for you, and let you inside, but if you expect to stay for some time, i suggest you devlope some personality......................if you want a relationship to devlope. Colombian intresadas are come and go, they want you for money, gifts ect.......they disapear for days at a time, and are shady, if you honestly have trouble telling the diffrence between someone who cares about you, and enjoys your company, stick to dating for awhile.
 
Ill be honest relationships are hard, feelings get hurt, meanings can beconfused. The easist relationships i have ever had were with intresadas, no fighting, no hurt feelings, no stress. granted i never lived with an intresada, but most true intresadas would not be inconvienced to live with someone eles unless family.
 
We can go round and round, and talk about how barrio girls differ from estrato 5-6 EAFIT girls, or single mothers, but i think we missed the most important point, as much as we think we understand colombia or its women THEY ARE STILL WOMEN and tend to be crazy, and crazy people suprise us from time to time. some girls out there poor as [snip] do not care about money, they want romance, sweet whispers, and a guy who can move in the bedroom and dancefloor.
 
Colombia is a diffrent culture diffrent values, which varies from city and town/region and economic class, it puzzels

[Kiltboy1]

I would say the motivation of a colombiana to marry a foreigner depends on her social status. If she is poor she will marry for economic stability most of all, preferably a foreigner who is willing to live in her country. Her family will probably encourage her, hoping their lifes too will improve somewhat, at least there will be one less mouth to feed.
If she is an estrato 5 or 6 girl, she is most likely tired of Colombian men playing with her and not taking her seriously, in other words a commitment being the furthest thing on their mind.
If she is over 35 she is most of all worried about losing her job and never finding an other one because of her age, or her prospects of finding a job at this age are nil.
If she has a child or two without receiving support from the fathers she is in dire economic straits and will be more desperate to marry a foreigner than ever, because a colombiano in most cases will think twice of taking on more than one mouth to feed, unless she is extremely attractive or has a good paying job.
None of these women will ever admit they married a foreigner whom they normally consider seco or unromantic in comparison to a Latino (unless he is from Spain), for economic reasons. It is always the case of a Latino likely to cheat or has cheated on them, a point which can't be argued.
It is an interesting fact that a colombiana is hellbent on having a child, preferably a son and knowing full well the father is likely going to split and leaving her with a big economic burden. They don't want to be alone after the husband leaves her for a younger woman, an other reason why they usually have no problem marrying a man who is substancially older.
None of these somewhat negative thoughts apply to any of your wifes or girlfriends I pray but unfortunately one or more apply to my gf, I hate to admit.
Speaking of a colombiana having a child. For those of you who are looking still, be prepared that her son will be the most important thing in her life, her mother will be next and you will be third in line of importance, with very few exceptions. This observation does not apply to daughters, sons only.
I invite your comments...

 
This Post is Dead on !!!!!!!!!
I have seen this up close and personal in my 7 years of dating Colombianas and visiting Colombia before I got married to an Ecuatoriana. Desperation runs wild there and they hate to be alone. I dated women before with like 2 kids and when we got intimate, all they could talk about was having my kid . Really sad if you think about how little they think things out long term. Always about today and tomorrow and who cares about what happens next week.
 
KB

[beginthebeguin]

vikingo said

Speaking of a colombiana having a child. For those of you who are looking still, be prepared that her son will be the most important thing in her life, her mother will be next and you will be third in line of importance, with very few exceptions. This observation does not apply to daughters, sons only.

Ouch, that limits one's search criteria.  Years ago I left a situation here in the states that approximates what is described here. Imagine when the guy is shuffled back to number 4 on her list. Number 3 being her 'career'. Of course I suppose that particular number 3 disappears as the colombiana approaches her 40's, then one moves up a notch. Sorry I'm selfish, I prefer to be up there a little higher on the 'leader board'. jajajajajaja   

[Micky]

I agree with much of what M4 is putting down.  It is a common/normal thing for any women,  any where to want a better life,  nice home,  good food,  etc,  Colombia is no different.

I do have a different view on the Latino cheating,  men are dogs BS.  If you live here,  or have spent some time here,  there will be a time,  or two,  or ten,  when a women will be giving you the serious stink eye AND will do so when WITH her husband/bf.  All of this talk is ALWAYS about the Latino male and his many women,  who are all these women?  Well,  as far as I can see it,  he is with other LATINAS.  The very SAME Latinas that are saying that all men are dogs.  They ALL KNOW how worthless,  unfaithful these men are,  yet they are the ones who make possible for these dogs to roll how they will.  It takes two and the women are just as culpable as the men.

If a man can not determine when a women is interested in him,  solely because of money,  all the writing and warnings in the world will not help.  I think it is rare that the players can run a game on a guy with an I.Q. over 60.  I think that the player/scammer game here,  is pretty weak and transparent.  That is not to say that there are not a few that can skin a man alive.

In its basic form,  romancing a Colombiana,  is no different than any place else.  Does a man have - personality,  intelligence,  charm,  can he provide a basic life with food,  clothing and a roof?  Can he make love,  dance,  put a smile on a womens face?  We are all (men and women) a combination of many different things,  good and bad,  strong and weak.  It really is a question of total package for most of us.  I am not advocating stupidity,  but I do advocate going forward without fear.  If the process knocks you down,  so what,  we get up and go again,  do not make it bigger than it is.  That's all I got  (for now).
 

Micky
 　

[dennislevy]

I like what both maritime04 and Micky wrote.
 
There is a very small section of the female population that actually WANTS to marry a non latino foreigner....but I don t know MANY gringos who married  Colombianas and live IN Colombia,
 
Micky comes to mind and I have a friend who is a sailor and splits his time between ships, his sister s home in New Jersery, the union hall and the apartment he rents for his wife and their young child in Bogota. At most he is in Colombia six or seven months a year. 
 
If a man wants to go ALL IN fast.....make serious committments relatively quickly, then marriage and living in Colombia is a reasonable goal.
 
But for MOST of the women I ve met when I lived in Colombia  marriage to a gringo and living in the US was NOT a priority. Many had tried or were trying the agency route and had gotten discouraged and disillusioned.
 
M04 used the word crazy to describe Colombian women, what I would say is that a significant percentage have ISSUES...whitch they attribute to the men who were in their lives. The recurirng themes are infidelity on the part of men, mental cruelty, child abuse, witnessing or being subjected to violence, irresponsibility on the part of men, drunkeness.
 
Thats the general POV of mature women n Colombia
 
And they range from being  reluctant to having intense fear to making concrete committments. And thats something (that for different reasons), a HUGE percentage of Colombian men  and SIGNIFICIANT percetange of women share in Colombia, the reluctance to make committments, especially after the first venture at stability (marriage in a church,  or a union libre  has ended. 

[V_Man]

I am not advocating stupidity,  but I do advocate going forward without fear.  If the process knocks you down,  so what,  we get up and go again,  do not make it bigger than it is. 

We need more of this. There is far too much gnashing of teeth about what could go wrong on this board. Yes study all the pitfalls. Yes try to be prepared. However ultimately it comes down to "Just Do It".

I would also add that if you are a western male, living in a western country then you should not get married to anyone unless you have a compelling reason for marriage. Marriage is not a requirement for sex, love, etc. Marriage will not give you security. Get that clear in your head first, then you'll know if you are looking for a wife or something else before you even start.

[Researcher]

We need more of this. There is far too much gnashing of teeth about what could go wrong on this board. Yes study all the pitfalls. Yes try to be prepared. However ultimately it comes down to "Just Do It".

I would also add that if you are a western male, living in a western country then you should not get married to anyone unless you have a compelling reason for marriage. Marriage is not a requirement for sex, love, etc. Marriage will not give you security. Get that clear in your head first, then you'll know if you are looking for a wife or something else before you even start.

        Spot on Vman! Sitting behind a computer keyboard is one thing and actually getting out there and doing something is where it's at.There are plenty of reasons not to go SOTB but you have a 100% chance of not meeting that Colombiana gem if you don't go or make an effort to meet some women.

        Sure there aren't an overwhelming number of Colombianas who are looking to marry a gringo.There are an overwhelming number of them who are looking to marry the RIGHT MAN.I never wanted a woman to marry me only because I am a gringo and I wasn't looking to marry any old latina.I didn't see many Colombianas who were interested in any gringo but I did run across many who were interested in ME and that is all that mattered.

      Maritime is correct many of these women are crazy....but they are women.From a man's point of view pretty much all women are crazy! (Just kidding)hahaha! I wouldn't waste time trying to psycho-analyze anyone.I'd say nearly EVERYONE has issues of some sort.Unless a person has been living in a protected vacuum all their lives they will have issues.How they deal with them is the important thing.Some people deal with life much better than others.

        It is much more productive to take a look at yourself when taking on this kind of venture.You can do something about YOU! So trim those nose hair,hit that gym, crack open some minty fresh undies and JUST DO IT!!

        Researcher

[beginthebeguin]

Researcher sez

crack open some minty fresh undies and JUST DO IT!!

Spearmint or Peppermint? 

[Researcher]

Researcher sez  Spearmint or Peppermint? 

      btb, whatever you got....hehehe!

        Researcher

[fathertime]

We need more of this. There is far too much gnashing of teeth about what could go wrong on this board. Yes study all the pitfalls. Yes try to be prepared. However ultimately it comes down to "Just Do It".

 

This is a VERY GOOD perspective.  The overthinkification of posters is just silly chat.  I would never let all those tiniest of details derail you!  Not everything that comes out of a woman needs to be analyzed and judged as a red flag/ green flag.


If a man doesn't  have the ability to size up the various situations with the ladies, he is going to be toast with practically any woman anyway, because he is lacking sense and that will derail him most of the time with most women anyway. 


Fathertime!     

[Deseo]

A couple of guys used the term "interesadas" in this thread.
 
I take it the literal translation is = interested.
 
But what does it mean as used here = gold diggers?

[maritime04]

it means someone who is only intrested in them selves, their benfit. alot of times it used to describe a women who is only intrested in your money, or what your money can buy her, IE gifts. everyone is a little bit selfish and greedy its human nature, but a true intresada shows no intresting in anyone eles just herself.

[Deseo]

Got it. THanks Maritime04.

[jm21-2]

In the Philippines, Aussies (the very strong Australian dollar doesn't hurt) and guys from Scandnavian nations, have a lot more appeal to Filipinas than they did some years ago. Ditto for Canadians, which interestingly as a nation, has a dollar that's stronger in most markets than is the US dollar...
 
In a lot of nations, there's a perception that the 'bloom's off the rose' as of late in the USA

Just mentioned this in another thread. There also seem to be some stories going around about lazy American guys who bring over a girl to work and support them.


Lifestyle-wise, America is not much to look at. All we really had going for us was a strong economy and currency. Temporarily at least, that's gone, so it's a pretty ho-hum country right now...


We still export a lot of entertainment but not quite as dominant anymore.


We were watching an Australian show that's a cooking competition for 9-12 year olds (junior masterchef australia) and for the last episode they rented out Disneyland for the show, at least for a couple hours. Ties in to this thread in interesting ways....

[robert angel]

Just mentioned this in another thread. There also seem to be some stories going around about lazy American guys who bring over a girl to work and support them.

It seems that a lot of  N. American guys today, including guys on this forum who otherwise might be seen as more 'old fashioned' and 'traditional' than most Yanks, look very closely at a Filipina's college back ground and employment--income prospects and what sort of bread that woman can bring to the table. I bet to differering extents, guys here who are bringing women from other nations to their own, tend to do the same.

 
I don't know if I'd call it "pimping them out", but it seems to me like some guys here are counting the money these babes will make before they even set foot here in the USA, all the while expecting great sex, arm candy to show off, home cooked meals, a clean house and an obedient wife. It's almost like they figure that somehow, they can have all of that and more, without collateral damage down the line. All the while, they're already trying to control or at least minimize the amount of money these women make that they will be able to be sent back home.

 
Sometimes I wonder exactly where we're coming from around here and whether or not there's gonna be some suffering when the proverbial 'other shoe' falls and these gals see what their 'fair market value' relevant to their spouse's really is.
 
I'm not saying that 'keep her barefoot and preggars' is the answer to keeping a wife close to you long term, as you can end up paying both child support and alimony and it's not too long before any woman with half a mind will figure that out and leave you -- IF you prove to be a real loser.

 
When I think about it, the only real, relatively young people who seem almost completely opposite to that mindset around here to me, are Bob_S and also Jm-21-2, the later who with lawschool loans to pay off, while not making a huge income and even selling off prized possessions, makes sacrifices so that his wife, (who left a good economic situation) as they both agreed on, can stay home as much as possible, as they think about the possibility of kids down the line. They even are willing to move out of the USA to find the lifestyle they both desire, something not too common around here. Bob_S's wife is plenty sharp, educated and lovely, and out west where they also live, it's not inexpensive, but they have higher priorities than having the Missus working outside the house.
 
There might be some others I missed, but I'd dare to say those fellows are outside the norm here

[maritime04]

US incomes are higher overall, and there are many more oppertunities in a weak US economy then a strong Colombian economy becuase very little trickles down to the poor barrios.................................................................
 
My girl wants to work, i am trying to push more of a part-time employment mixed with studying, when the time is right. She wants to support or help support her mother, i find this respectable, even though her mother does not deserve it, i will help alittle along they way. She shows some good thinking when it comes to her lazy sister, as she is only willing to pay for a schooling, and does not want to support her.
 
happiness is a state of mind, and if working makes her happy i have no issues.
 
Robert is talking about people looking for a fantasy becuase they think it will make them happy, and it can for a few years.......................... Much like becoming famous and wealthy, great when it happens but as we read in the tabloids, and see with the tragic suicides of hollywoods famous, having all those things you always thought would make you happy usually doesnt