Is economic security the main reason?

[opusone]

 Guys, and girls,


If you were to put a wager on the main reason why beautiful women from a foreign land decide to marry a "gringo" , what would that reason be? The choices I came up with are but a few, but feel free to add some, or comment/elaborate on the ones I listed. Hopefully, the focus won't be on the woman that you have married, or have intentions of marrying(biased opinion), but, rather , a general assumption. Should make for an interesting debate.


1. Economic security
2. Rights
3. Stability
4. Better standard of living (quality of life)

5. Ulterior motive
6. Love

[beginthebeguin]

Well one cannot use economic stability as a goal. When there currently is no such thing as 'economic stability' unless you are trying to rope a vice-president of a major investment bank.     

[opusone]

Well one cannot use economic stability as a goal. When there currently is no such thing as 'economic stability' unless you are trying to rope a vice-president of a major investment bank.     

That was just stupid. Can't you put a few thoughts together that relate to what the post is?

[jvoorhees]

My experience is still limited.  But from the 25 women I met, including my novia, the reason that was expressed most often as to why they were interested in dating a gringo was to find a man that treats them gentlemanly and does not cheat.
 
I never once heard mention of economic stability or anything like that from any of them.
 
Although, I am sure the idea is in their heads as one of many factors that they don't mention.  The same way that dating a sexy, thin woman was one of many reasons to date a Colombian woman instead of the fatties available in the land of WalMart.

[beginthebeguin]

I'm sorry opusone my tongue was in my cheek. 

[hamburger]

Somos mas fieles que los Colombianos.

[Traveler]

There are wealthy guys in Colombia.  Maybe not a huge percentage, but they do exist.  I would say social mobility and personal safety are more important factors than economic stability per se.
 
A poor girl has virtually zero chance of marrying into old money in Colombia.  She can date, be a mistress or a prepago, but marry into that society is almost impossible.  And especially since the society in Latin America is stratified primarily by social class, being in an upper class is extremely desirable.  She figures if she marries a gringo that automatically moves her into a higer social class, or at least her children will be in a higher social class. 
 
Secondly, colombians are obsessed about crime and personal safety, and this naturally is amplified in women.  They think that if they move to the US or Europe, they will never be kidnapped, burglarized, robbed, etc.  They think that their kids will be completely safe.  That's a major motivating factor.
 
The whole cheating thing is exaggerated.  Most Latin women (I mean the ones that have grown up and were socialized in L.A.) accept that men cheat as long as they provide for the family and don't abandon their kids.  There are exceptions when women do leave their husband when he cheats, but that's rare.

[opusone]

I'm sorry opusone my tongue was in my cheek. 

My apologies to you for rebuffing your comment. I am trying to get a more worldly perspective as opposed to a  "colombian " perspective. 


When I go back to Spain, I don't any women clamoring to be with Americans , poor or not. I also don't hear this a lot from Brazilian women or Puerto Ricans. You don't even see Mexicans throwing themselves at "gringos" they way Colombians do. For some reason, Colombians,  who date Americans , are caught up in the "I see this as a way out" mentality . I'm just curious as to why it is so prevalent in one place and not the other.

[Jeff S]

If you're talking "foreign land" it's probably very rarely economic - more like the hope of being treated better than at home and injecting some fun and adventure into their otherwise mundane lives. As you suggest, Opus, Colombians may be entirely different in their motivations. I have very limited experience with Colombians, but considerable with other peoples of Latin America. Most of the non-Colombian Latinos I have talked to, even from poorer places, see Colombians as more willing to do whatever it takes to gain an advantage - just passing on what I hear.

[opusone]

If you're talking "foreign land" it's probably very rarely economic - more like the hope of being treated better than at home and injecting some fun and adventure into their otherwise mundane lives. As you suggest, Opus, Colombians may be entirely different in their motivations. I have very limited experience with Colombians, but considerable with other peoples of Latin America. Most of the non-Colombian Latinos I have talked to, even from poorer places, see Colombians as more willing to do whatever it takes to gain an advantage - just passing on what I hear.

Jeff,I think you are right. I really don't see this anywhere else, nor do I get the impression that women from other countries are so eager to get married to an American or, leave their country, as I do in Colombia. I wonder what causes that? I was trying to figure out if it was simple economics, or  some sort of stigma  deeply engraved  in the minds of the woman because they are a lot of poor women in many other latin american countries who are not so willing to make such a commitment.   

[Traveler]

In my experience non-Colombian Hispanics, espeically women, have a generally negative opinion of Colombians.  Women generally are envious of them, and believe that the steal men.  I've heard that from many different latinas.  The only Latinas who don't have this feeling of insecurity and inferiority towards colombianas are venezolanas and brasilenas.  I was dating a cuban girl here for awhile, and she basically refused to even go to a colombian restaurant.
 
The other thing that I did notice is that colombianas even in the US are much more open to dating or marrying non-Hispanics.  If Latin girls were born or grew up in the US they are usually open to dating outside of their ethnic group, but if they are from the old country, they rarely do that - with the exception of colombianas.  Also, colombians of both genders are generally much more open to forming friendships with people from other backgrounds.  This has been my experience.

[opusone]

In my experience non-Colombian Hispanics, espeically women, have a generally negative opinion of Colombians.  Women generally are envious of them, and believe that the steal men.  I've heard that from many different latinas.  The only Latinas who don't have this feeling of insecurity and inferiority towards colombianas are venezolanas and brasilenas.  I was dating a cuban girl here for awhile, and she basically refused to even go to a colombian restaurant.
 
The other thing that I did notice is that colombianas even in the US are much more open to dating or marrying non-Hispanics.  If Latin girls were born or grew up in the US they are usually open to dating outside of their ethnic group, but if they are from the old country, they rarely do that - with the exception of colombianas.  Also, colombians of both genders are generally much more open to forming friendships with people from other backgrounds.  This has been my experience.

Interesting. Seriously, there is something about why Colombianas are drawn to the American male, more so than women from any other latin country(foreign country for that matter) that I can think of. I mean , not even the Ticas of Costa Rica behave like this.  I figure , we are closer to Mexico, Central America, (so location can't be it), but how many Mexican women or Central American women do you see drooling over the thought of marrying a "gringo"? More and more, I am starting to think that there is "word" on the street in Colombia, and most of it, isn't good. I was even in Chile and didn't see this overwhelming urge to better themselves by marrying "up" with the "gringo".


If you talk to a Cubana, in Cuba, she would rather have a Euro guy , or  a Latino, than an American, if she had her choice and she is as broke as you can get. You talk to a Boriqua( Puertorican descent) , she prefers a Latino. I have dated a lot of Brazilians, and I can tell you that today, they don't have this thought of the "American husband , picket fence and children" being born here like the Colombianas do. All of this is general I suppose, but cause for thought none the less. I can't figure it out.  I wonder if these Colombianas had the financial wherewithal as the their American female counterparts, would they be acting the same way?

[robert angel]

1,3, 4 & 6.

1, 3 & 4 all overlap --they're intertwined with one another. Where # 6 fits in is very important and I'm sure varies greatly from woman to woman. 
That said, she can love you, find you attractive and a few years later, wake up and say to herself--"What am I doing with this old man?"

Why else would a lot of women marry a gringo, one who that if they saw full body pictures of and nothing else, would deem them repulsive?

Keep in mind, we all marry 'that person' to add 'quality' to our lives and that often includes money, youth and most hopefully, love and meaningful companionship--health and prosparity'.

As for #5: "Ulterior Motive"--if you have that concern--that vague, impossible to define thingamajig bouncing around in your mind, you're already in over your head. Problem is, most guys aren't even aware of the possibility or reality of an 'ulterior motive' and are weighing the 'she loves me for my personality and finds me attractive as well' notion way too heavily. They're thinking more with their balls than their brains, probably.

The only way you're going to find out how the numbers above balance out is time, time, time. If it's only after she's married and living here in the USA and once here, is seeing other people who are much wealthier and more physically attractive than you are, you might be in for some real problems.
If you come to realize that she didn't have her motivation (character) and head screwed on right from the start, you're in for some rough times on a slippery slope, as time goes by....

[Researcher]

If you're talking "foreign land" it's probably very rarely economic - more like the hope of being treated better than at home and injecting some fun and adventure into their otherwise mundane lives.

       That's it in a nutshell.


        Researcher

[robert angel]

If you talk to a Cubana, in Cuba, she would rather have a Euro guy , or  a Latino, than an American, if she had her choice and she is as broke as you can get. You talk to a Boriqua( Puertorican descent) , she prefers a Latino.

In the Philippines, Aussies (the very strong Australian dollar doesn't hurt) and guys from Scandnavian nations, have a lot more appeal to Filipinas than they did some years ago. Ditto for Canadians, which interestingly as a nation, has a dollar that's stronger in most markets than is the US dollar...
 
In a lot of nations, there's a perception that the 'bloom's off the rose' as of late in the USA

[opusone]

 
In a lot of nations, there's a perception that the 'bloom's off the rose' as of late in the USA

So, how do you explain that most girls in a lot of these countries know that the U.S. is still the land of opportunity, yet don't go out of their way to find a "gringo"like Colombians do?

[bandito]

In the Philippines, Aussies (the very strong Australian dollar doesn't hurt) and guys from Scandnavian nations, have a lot more appeal to Filipinas than they did some years ago. Ditto for Canadians, which interestingly as a nation, has a dollar that's stronger in most markets than is the US dollar...
 
In a lot of nations, there's a perception that the 'bloom's off the rose' as of late in the USA

You mean a Gringo's clout with the foreign babes is tied to the dollar?  That settles it I'm buying gold!

[opusone]

You mean a Gringo's clout with the foreign babes is tied to the dollar?  That settles it I'm buying gold!

In Colombia, the word on the street, may be just that. Just saying.

[Gato4Astrid]

My experience is still limited.  But from the 25 women I met, including my novia, the reason that was expressed most often as to why they were interested in dating a gringo was to find a man that treats them gentlemanly and does not cheat.
 

You might find that some of these 25 women are themselves that are cheating !!!

[beginthebeguin]

"The bloom is 'off' the Rose". Yeah I would agree with that.
But 'word of mouth' down in Colombia that a 'gringo' from the EE.UU.  is still a good catch has to still hold some water. Every success story of a colombiana finding a loyal and considerate husband has to carry heavy weight with the female grapevine down there. There is always going to be a friend of a friend of a friend's primera that has a great husband and she is going to tell everyone all about her primera's good fortune.
Of course one has to take into consideration the 'Disneyland' factor. It adds some extra 'points' to the EE.UU.s balance sheet. Dammit those women for the most part love the idea of being able to go Disneyland.   

[Micky]

Interesting thread Opus.  I would think that there is some kind of "weight" given to each reason or motivation for a women wanting to hook up with a gringo.  I do not find the "economic factor" to be much different for any man/women relationship,  regardless of a foreign women or not.  Does not happen much anywhere in the world where a women wants an inferior lifestyle.  I think that any women,  anywhere,  is very "normal" in wanting at least a little better life in the economic regard.  First on the list,  I would hope, is that the women WANTS to be with the man,  for who he is,  whatever word one wants to use,  love,  like, desire,  attraction,  compatibility.  etc.  Better opportunities I think would be a major factor for a foreign women wanting a gringo husband.  Work,  education,  future for their children,  upward mobility,  all still more likely better with a gringo than in their home countries,  even in the current state of things.
I think a bigger indicator of motivation may be country of origin.  As with all immigration,  over time, usually two main reasons.  One,  the smaller of the two, a big desire for improvement and opportunity for ones' life.  Two,  the country of origin is a crap hole,  war,  famine,  rampant poverty,  political instability, they are leaving for survival.  Not many people,  women or men,  want to leave family,  friends and the life they know,  for the uncertainty of a life in an unfamiliar land.  That's all I got.
 

Micky

[Researcher]

"The bloom is 'off' the Rose". Yeah I would agree with that.
But 'word of mouth' down in Colombia that a 'gringo' from the EE.UU.  is still a good catch has to still hold some water. Every success story of a colombiana finding a loyal and considerate husband has to carry heavy weight with the female grapevine down there. There is always going to be a friend of a friend of a friend's primera that has a great husband and she is going to tell everyone all about her primera's good fortune.
Of course one has to take into consideration the 'Disneyland' factor. It adds some extra 'points' to the EE.UU.s balance sheet. Dammit those women for the most part love the idea of being able to go Disneyland.

      Interesting take BTB.Tell us how you arrived at such a conclusion.Made any trips lately?

      Researcher

[beginthebeguin]

I am duly chastised Researcher. I'll just take my Davey Crockett coonskin cap and go home now.   

[robert angel]

. Dammit those women for the most part love the idea of being able to go Disneyland.

Tell me about it---We're committed to going to Disney World (again) for the Veteran's Day weekend, with two other couples. (three Filipinas and their captive husbands) If I see them giving each other high fives and giggling it's "The Happiest Place in the World!" one more time, I'm gonna rip someone's face off...

 
Unless things have changed markedly.....


 

[Researcher]

I am duly chastised Researcher. I'll just take my Davey Crockett coonskin cap and go home now.   

   Oh come now Begin.No chastising here just a legitimate question.You made a good post there and I only want to know how you arrived at such a conclusion.That's all.

        Researcher