Is economic security the main reason?

[aconcepts]

No, I didn't know that Bob is married to a Japanese woman. I know a lot about Japanese culture and Zen Buddhism. Its one of the most remarkable cultures in the world. I have learned a lot from the Japanese. They are micro focused and dedicated to excellence which means you have to demand a lot from yourself. They are great people to work with but I have also found they are complicated and delicate. I respect them immensely. I also have immense respect for the Chinese who seem to be much more fun loving and creative but do not have the unrelenting dedication to doing and being the best at what they do/create like the Japanese. It kind of demands neurotic behavior to be that good. The Chinese seem much more balanced and I have had plenty of experience with both cultures.

Thanks Father Time for the thank you. Those posts take time to write. Also FT I am not a control freak. When you have to control someone, you lose your freedom. Why? Because that person you are trying to control is dictating what you have to do in order to control them. Really your are being controlled by your choice to control others.

I don't really want to make any household decisions. Give me one room that is a man’s cave/office and I am good. My masculinity is not easily threatened and I don’t need that much.

This is the bottom line to a healthy relationship. You, the man, have to see your woman as the apple of your eye and she has to know and accept that you will always choose what is best for her and your family. She in return has to make the choice yours. She has to trust your decision. Not that you two don't consult, but when it’s important I believe the woman wants the man to make the decision. Then she has to accept it and not Monday morning QB you.

I have a saying on my desk: The boss is not always right. But he is always the boss. The title the boss means that the person that is providing, whether he is at times right or wrong, is always providing and deserves respect for it. It’s not so much a matter or respecting how good he is at leading as much as it is his dedication and time spent leading. Leading is a sacrifice. It’s much easier to follow.

I want a woman and friends and co workers and employees that can control themselves. I have no desire to use up my time running after people that are out of control. Many time women run around doing crazy things to see if their man will rescue them; in other words try to control them. This is called a control drama.

FT I can only relate to me experience and my experience is California. Funny at times in California I have came across mid American women that were very nice, however look at the TV culture / what I call Hollywood values. It seeps in by osmosis.

Anyways I want a capable competent woman not some third world woman to boss around. I have been the boss a lot in my life and guess what, it has plenty or perks, but it ain't all that great. Too many responsibilities. I have been just as happy sweeping floors as I have being the boss. Although I have achieved more satisfaction leading a campaign.

Actually leading a family is like leading any other campaign, martial, spirtual or financial. You have to Provide, Protect and Communicate. You need to maKe calls. You do your best and make your best choices and the chips fall where they may. If you don't do your best, and it all falls apart, well then maybe you don't sleep so well. However, if you are true to your intentions, and do your best for yourself and others, and it all goes south, then guess what? It all went south, but you are faultless because you did your best.

A man can only do his best. That is the best he can do. If you do your best - you are the best “you” you can be. What more can anyone ask/expect from you? Sometimes it all works out, and sometimes it doesn't. That is how life is. Think it out but don’t drive yourself crazy over thinking it either. Then make your move. Place your bet. That’s it. If I may add one more thing. Boldness is genius. Be as bold as you are reasonable and you will have a killer combination. I call it heart and mind, intuition and logic. The unknowable can only be known without the need to know. That’s some Japanese philosophy for you all. It means at time you follow you heart. You do what you do without mental spin. You just know and do. Samuri style / no mind.
 

[V_Man]

aconcepts, I don't want a traditional marriage as you have described it.

In fact, apart from giving birth to a child, what can a woman do that I haven't done for years already? Answer - nothing.
I don't need a woman to look after my house. I never have.
I'm a good cook. Enjoy looking after children. Same goes for basically everything.
This is something feminised women fail to grasp.
What is a feminised woman going to bring to the relationship that I need?

Better/more sex? Jajajajajaja!!!!!! Dream on!

I don't even want to have a traditional marraige much less see any benefit from it.

No this feminist society raised me to be entirely self sufficient from women. That is what the feminists have failed to grasp. They made themselves redundant to men.

So what does a woman bring to the relationship for a guy like me?
A luke warm, pants wearing, sence of entitlement? You go girl!! Just go and go ang go far away....

Now a Latin woman. She does bring things to the relationship that are worth having around. And she certainly is not some kind of submissive housewife type.

[aconcepts]

V man with all due respect as I value your imput and perspective, I think you position makes you a casuality of feminisim. That may be your main point.
 
When men show traditional masculine traits and roles and women show traditional feminine traits and roles and they co-operate its really beautiful. I see it daily.
 
I can understand how feminist have created V-man and how it will bite them in the ass. Someone on another thread said that women were chasing the Alfa male and the Beta males were bank rolling it.
 
That was spot on.
 
In the US my take on most US women is "under accomplished, over confident." False confidence is cockiness.
 
I just got off the phone with a friend in the states and let me tell you, I ain't never going back. I have an biz op there that would require my attendence and its a good one, but at this point I just don't know if I could handle living there even 6 month a year and If I did I would bring along a latina and i think it would corupt her, the US women and especially the feminised US latinas.  The worst part would be seeing all the duped sad men. Jeeeezz...

[Bob_S]

You do realize that Bob is married to a Japanese woman?

  And life is sweet.

I know a lot about Japanese culture and Zen Buddhism. Its one of the most remarkable cultures in the world. I have learned a lot from the Japanese. They are micro focused and dedicated to excellence which means you have to demand a lot from yourself. They are great people to work with but I have also found they are complicated and delicate. I respect them immensely.

That dedication to excellence goes into all facets of life.  Whatever is your priority gets 100% attention.  That has benefits and drawbacks.  For a man on the career path, he often proceeds at the expense of his family life.  But for a woman who chooses to marry, she focuses 100% on being a good wife and mother.  The idea of multitasking to find yourself or to be a complete person (like a modern feminist-raised woman who thinks she can successfully juggle a career and family and scattering of hobbies) is an aberration.  The norm is you do one thing and you do it well.  The result is a very traditional nuclear family.  If you want a June Cleaver to your Ward, it's a very good way to go.

[beginthebeguin]

Bob_S sez:

If you want a June Cleaver to your Ward, it's a very good way to go.

June Cleaver would be fine but I'm not supporting her "new dress, hairdo and perfectly ironed apron in every scene habit" muhahahahahahahaha 

[Alabamaboy!]

Did a quick poll at my work (clients and co-workers), asking them if they believed in "true love"?

Female early 20's, Mexican: NO
Female mid 20's, Mexican: NO
Female late 20's, Mexican: NO
Female 20 white: NO
Female early 30's Mexican: NO
Female mid 50's Mexican: NO
Female early 40's Mexican: NO
Male mid 20's White: NO
Male mid 30's White: NO
Male early 20's Mexican: NO
Male mid 30's Mexican: NO

Most of these people were married. So I guess not too many of them stay in relationships for the "love". Most of the people went as far to say that true love is a myth.

[Jeff S]

Bob_S sez: June Cleaver would be fine but I'm not supporting her "new dress, hairdo and perfectly ironed apron in every scene habit" muhahahahahahahaha 

Not too up on Japanese women are you?

[beginthebeguin]

Jeff you didn't get it. June Cleaver to any woman trying to raise kids in the EE.UU. in the late 50s and early 60s was a big joke. It was the running joke, except for Eddie Haskell,  in our family while 'Leave it to Beaver' was on network tv then.
 
And my brother lived in Japan for 10 years on his own and I don't think he would agree with your assessment of Japanese women as being the "June Cleaver's" of Asia. jajajajaja

[Bob_S]

And my brother lived in Japan for 10 years on his own and I don't think he would agree with your assessment of Japanese women as being the "June Cleaver's" of Asia. jajajajaja

So he is married to a Japanese woman?

[Researcher]

Jeff you didn't get it. June Cleaver to any woman trying to raise kids in the EE.UU. in the late 50s and early 60s was a big joke. It was the running joke, except for Eddie Haskell,  in our family while 'Leave it to Beaver' was on network tv then.
 
And my brother lived in Japan for 10 years on his own and I don't think he would agree with your assessment of Japanese women as being the "June Cleaver's" of Asia. jajajajaja

Well golly gee btb. I can't believe you would say that about the "Beev" and his Mom.

         Researcher

[beginthebeguin]

Bob_S said

So he is married to a Japanese woman? 

   Nahhhhh, she wouldn't have him. 

[Jeff S]

No I got it. I watched the Beav every week when it was on the first time. Just disagreeing with your assessment of fearing supporting a Japanese wife. The best thing I ever did was turn my home budget and finances over to mine. Now I always have money in the bank and she's still well dressed and impeccably groomed. 

[JimD]

...and impeccably groomed.

Knew someone with a French Poodle like that. Always First in Show.

[z_k_g]

Now, motherhood that is being a stay at home mom and a house maker is demonized by the femanazis. When in reality it’s the most important work on the planet. Go figure…

Common Sense, is not so common.

Zulu

[z_k_g]

Thanks Father Time for the thank you. Those posts take time to write. Also FT I am not a control freak. When you have to control someone, you lose your freedom. Why? Because that person you are trying to control is dictating what you have to do in order to control them. Really your are being controlled by your choice to control others.

a LEADER in the family does not control his wife!!  excellent point!

I don't really want to make any household decisions. Give me one room that is a man’s cave/office and I am good. My masculinity is not easily threatened and I don’t need that much.

This is the bottom line to a healthy relationship. You, the man, have to see your woman as the apple of your eye and she has to know and accept that you will always choose what is best for her and your family. She in return has to make the choice yours. She has to trust your decision. Not that you two don't consult, but when it’s important I believe the woman wants the man to make the decision. Then she has to accept it and not Monday morning QB you.

A good wife is a good co-council, she will help you make the best decisions.  This should be a main criteria when choosing a woman, can she make responsible decisions?

I have a saying on my desk: The boss is not always right. But he is always the boss. The title the boss means that the person that is providing, whether he is at times right or wrong, is always providing and deserves respect for it. It’s not so much a matter or respecting how good he is at leading as much as it is his dedication and time spent leading. Leading is a sacrifice. It’s much easier to follow.

Preach Bro!

I want a woman and friends and co workers and employees that can control themselves. I have no desire to use up my time running after people that are out of control. Many time women run around doing crazy things to see if their man will rescue them; in other words try to control them. This is called a control drama.

FT I can only relate to me experience and my experience is California. Funny at times in California I have came across mid American women that were very nice, however look at the TV culture / what I call Hollywood values. It seeps in by osmosis.

Anyways I want a capable competent woman not some third world woman to boss around. I have been the boss a lot in my life and guess what, it has plenty or perks, but it ain't all that great. Too many responsibilities. I have been just as happy sweeping floors as I have being the boss. Although I have achieved more satisfaction leading a campaign.

Actually leading a family is like leading any other campaign, martial, spirtual or financial. You have to Provide, Protect and Communicate. You need to maKe calls. You do your best and make your best choices and the chips fall where they may. If you don't do your best, and it all falls apart, well then maybe you don't sleep so well. However, if you are true to your intentions, and do your best for yourself and others, and it all goes south, then guess what? It all went south, but you are faultless because you did your best.

A man can only do his best. That is the best he can do. If you do your best - you are the best “you” you can be. What more can anyone ask/expect from you? Sometimes it all works out, and sometimes it doesn't. That is how life is. Think it out but don’t drive yourself crazy over thinking it either. Then make your move. Place your bet. That’s it. If I may add one more thing. Boldness is genius. Be as bold as you are reasonable and you will have a killer combination. I call it heart and mind, intuition and logic. The unknowable can only be known without the need to know. That’s some Japanese philosophy for you all. It means at time you follow you heart. You do what you do without mental spin. You just know and do. Samuri style / no mind.

Good post, one of the best I've read on P-L.

I constantly preach about "leadership" on P-L and a few  members here have mocked and belittled my posts for whatever reasons. 

Its funny........You use "Boss"  I use "King".

I wonder will you get a shytstorm for using "Boss" like I got when I used "King"

Zulu

[aconcepts]

Thank you Zulu,
 
I have read and wrote a lot of Taoist phiosophy and Buddhism. Plus a lot of life. My goal is to be spent up and crawling out - all used up. So I play very hard. And I have learned. Got the scars to prove it.
 
Zu, it all comes down to you. Llege pero no cruce. Arrive but don't cross. The thing is you don't bluff. Draw that line. When it is croseed never point a finger or yell. As my the very wise grand master of kung fu san soo said in his bad english "Smile, and hit em."
 
 
Thats it. You have to back your stuff up. Here is the line. You cossed it and look what happened. When it comes to thethings you love like wife, kida and dogs - the trick is consistency. You ahve to train them. But the training can only last so long or as I posted above you loose your freedom to them.
 
Its like showing a kung fu tecnique to a student. You teach, demo and then stand back and let thenm do it.
 
If the students asks yoiu to repeatedly demo the technique - he wants you to do his thinking for him.
 
Cut em off. Let em fail. The consequences of failure will make them think anew about the virtues of learning.
 
Again, I don't write this crap off the top of my head, but I do know it so well I could fart it all day without losing a step. Losing some company yes, but without losing stride for sure!!!!Hahahaha.
 
I feel for Bama....

[Zon]

When it comes to thethings you love like wife, kids and dogs - the trick is consistency. You ahve to train them. But the training can only last so long or as I posted above you loose your freedom to them.

Yep.

[JimD]

  And life is sweet.
That dedication to excellence goes into all facets of life.  Whatever is your priority gets 100% attention.  That has benefits and drawbacks.  For a man on the career path, he often proceeds at the expense of his family life.  But for a woman who chooses to marry, she focuses 100% on being a good wife and mother.  The idea of multitasking to find yourself or to be a complete person (like a modern feminist-raised woman who thinks she can successfully juggle a career and family and scattering of hobbies) is an aberration.  The norm is you do one thing and you do it well.  The result is a very traditional nuclear family.  If you want a June Cleaver to your Ward, it's a very good way to go.

Bob nice post about the attributes of Japanese women but this is the latin board and I think guys here, myself included have "hot" a little higher up on the list.

[Researcher]

Yep.

    Hey aconcepts where did you get the parrot? hahaha! Zonny want a cracker?(just joking)


          Researcher

[Bob_S]

Bob nice post about the attributes of Japanese women but this is the latin board and I think guys here, myself included have "hot" a little higher up on the list.

Yeah, I know.  When I get ready for work in the morning, I like to turn on the news just to check out the hawt little Latina traffic girl and listen to her tell me where to go.  OMG.


But there are costs to go down that path.  And time destroys those ephemeral benefits anyway.  But the qualities of character you chose are enduring, long after gravity has dragged her bodacious tah-tahs down to her knees. 

[z_k_g]

I have read and wrote a lot of Taoist phiosophy and Buddhism. Plus a lot of life. My goal is to be spent up and crawling out - all used up. So I play very hard. And I have learned. Got the scars to prove it.

I have learned also and understand that its not the education you get or the mistakes you learn from, the real key to inner peace is how not to repeat your past follies and make the best decisions possible.

No matter what hardships you have endured, always use compassion and understanding in whatever decisions you make....but always lead with your left foot...

No person, man or woman, should have to suffer for the misgivings, pain or harm that was caused by some as$hole in your past.

I feel for Bama....

Bama will be the wiser from this....

[aconcepts]

Geeeezz Bob,
 
I hate it when you are right like that.
 
That is why I have provnen to have been a serial manogymist (not mysoginyst as my friends wives think).
 
I guess that is why I keep looking at women 25 years yonger, thinking I may be gone before Newtons law kicks in.
 
Why is it that latinas are just so frick awesome physically. It aint fair!

[Bob_S]

That is why I have provnen to have been a serial manogymist (not mysoginyst as my friends wives think).

A serial monogamist philogynist?   
 

I guess that is why I keep looking at women 25 years yonger, thinking I may be gone before Newtons law kicks in.

Those 25 years younger women will always be 25 years younger (then 26 years, then 27, 28, 29...).  But when you marry them, the clock starts running.  Hence my tag line:
...a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young.
- "Gulliver's Travels" by Jonathan Swift

Bama will be the wiser from this....

Let's hope so.  It's still early, and the wounds are too fresh.  But those lessons in wisdom always come at a high price, financially and emotionally.

[aconcepts]

Right Bob, but and here is the big but (Yeah I am in the land of the latin big butt), if I am with them when they are 22 and I check out in 10 years they willbe 32. Wrong side of 25  but still young enough to keep an old man's interest.
 
 
monogamist philogynist? Well like i always say "i would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
 
BTW is that anything like a loyalgynocologist???
 

[Zon]

aconcepts - you have made this place a bigger tent.  No small undertaking