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Author Topic: My Trip to Philippines  (Read 15478 times)

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Offline z_k_g

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #25 on: October 12, 2011, 12:54:23 PM »
When No means Yes....

I got up early the next morning with a cold!  My head was stuffy.  Head colds are the worse, and I was in the Philippines! 

Grace woke up soon after, she looked refreshed and beautiful.  It was gonna be hard to leave this place!

We packed and prepared to check out.  I wanted her to get back to the city (1 hours ride by jeepney) so that when her aunt and uncle returned she would be home.

We first decided to visit her friends who spent the night in the beach bungalow.  We walked down the seaside path along White Sand Beach.  It was a quiet and serene morning, very cool breeze and all you could hear was the waves and the occasional rooster calls.  Very nice here and very peaceful.

When we reached the beach side bungalow the entire gang was still passed out.  All the booze and food consumed, our friends were sleeping it off!  Filipinos know how to party!

FYI: There were about 8 pinoys and 5 pinays on the island hopping boat.  All of the 8 pinoys could swim like fish.  One of the pinoys was actually the owner of the boat (his father anyways).  None of the 5 pinays were decent swimmers and deep water was a definite no-no, life jackets in the water a must.  Not sure why.  Maybe I met the only 5 non swimming pinays on Bohol?

I went to the seaside and sat on a concrete wave break and just watched the ocean and took some video with my cam.  Life is good, sometimes you just gotta appreciate the moment, and this was one of those times.

We stayed on the beach for a bit, cleaned up the mess from the night before and then went back to the bungalow and got our bags.  The ride back on the jeepney was quick and not as crowded.

My sweetie headed back home.  I went to my hotel dropped off my things and headed to the nearest drug store!  I had to visit about 4 drug stores before I found a mist nasal decongestant.  Immediately I felt better!  I went back to my room and skyped home.

Auntie and uncle were returning in the afternoon around 2pm.  We were meeting at Boss Coffee (Starbucks copy) for an informal sit down (interrogation
;D ).  The both worked for the Philippine government and were pretty well respected.  They were very untrustworthy of male foreigners (mongers and older kanos marrying much younger pinays!).  Yeah, I had my work cut out for me.

At about 1:30 my sweetie shows up.  She was a bit nervous because her aunt is very autocratic, strict and very protective. 

Auntie did not want her niece distracted from her studies and as far as she was concerned Zulu was a major (and unnecessary) distraction!!

Her husband, Uncle, was a bit more workable.  He had spend some years working overseas and he was generally more lenient but just as demanding.  He was an A student and graduated top of his class and demanded a rigorous study habit. 

I had my work cut out for me. 

We walked to Boss Coffee from my hotel.  Auntie and Uncle were there waiting.  They greeted me very cordially with handshakes and we sat for the impending the inquisition.

I introduced myself and thanked them for taking the time to meet me.  I asked if they would like something, they said no thanks.  (Ok this was my only big big mistake!  When a Filipino says no to food, they are being polite, they mean yes and you are supposed to ask again, I didn't) 

There was a silence.  (....they were waiting on me to ask again, which I didn't of course because I didn't know!!)...I had to keep this going so I started to talk about how I like the Philippines.

Her auntie simply stared at me.  (She was probably thinking...idiot...he has not offered me coffee again!)  Of course I was thinking (incorrectly) that she was not vibing with me!

Her facial expression became more vapid, I shut up.  I had no idea how to get this blank stare off her face.  Hey I had gifts!

So, I awkwardly presented gifts I had purchased for both in HK, chocolates for auntie and cigars for uncle.  Well....Auntie was on a diet and Uncle did not smoke anymore (Auntie forbad it at the house!)  Just great!!  I was batting 0!
:)

Auntie started talking. 

She explained that she was not sure why I had come to visit her niece and could I explain my reasons.   I told her that I came here to meet her in person and to meet her family.  She then asked what were my intentions?   I said I simply wanted to spend time with Grace and celebrate her birthday with her.  She asked me was I ever married and did I have children.  I answered negative to both of those.  Are you Catholic?  Yes.  The tension eased a bit!

Uncle was saying nothing just watching my every move and listening to my every word.  I could tell this interrogation was gonna be conducted by auntie he was there to observe and report! (and clean up any blood that might splatter on the walls)

She seems pretty satisfied so far with my answers, I didn't hesitate or break eye contact, kept a great big smile, and my initial butterflies had subsided.  I had nothing to hide so I felt pretty good.

She looked at Uncle, then Grace, and turned to me, smiled and said, "well you seem to be a serious man for our Gracia.  You understand she cannot marry until she graduate sir?" I replied, yes, I understand that.

Satisfied, (Finally!) Auntie smiled and Uncle spoke.  He invited me to their house to meet the immediate family in the city!  He was happy that his niece had met a serious man and added, "she is very headstrong but will make a good wife for you!" (Auntie cut him a sideways glance of indignation which was kinda amusing
)

We all laughed at that.  Auntie and uncle got up, shook my hand and parted leaving us at Boss Coffee.

I had not looked at Grace very much the entire time.  She did not look as happy as me!  I was confused because I figured everything was great. 

Wrong!

She revealed my faux paux about the offer for coffee!  I was supposed to ask twice!  Huh?  Well, she explained "No" apparently means "I want to say Yes, but I will seem greedy if I say Yes the first time, so you must ask me again, so I can say Yes!" 

Huh?

Apparently this applies with food only, well.... I think so.
 

Whatever!  During my interview (interrogation) I was actually sweating!  I was glad it was over and they seemed pretty satisfied, and I even got an invite to meet the family!  As far as I was concerned, this was a win!

We left Boss Coffee and headed for ICM Mall to catch a movie.  I needed a bit of fantasy to balance an overdose of Filipino logic, their customs and the realities and pressures of dating a pinay!

I had barely noticed the obvious, but we no longer had a chaperone after the Boss Coffee inquisition!   Nice!

We met Dez and her boyfriend at the mall, got some eats, played some games (which I lost) at the arcade and then caught the movie.  When we got back to the hotel we watched Glee and Australia's next top model and ate some ice cream we brought back from the mall.

She left promptly at 9pm!

Next installment.....Meeting the family.....
« Last Edit: October 12, 2011, 12:57:44 PM by z_k_g »
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Offline Bob_S

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #26 on: October 12, 2011, 05:19:51 PM »
Huh.  I didn't know Boss Coffee was an actual chain of coffee shops.  I thought it was just a brand, like Folgers or something.  You see cans of Boss Coffee in vending machines all over Japan.

That "politely refusing an initial offer" thing is common in Japan, too.  Sometimes you even politely refuse the second offer!, only to accept the third offer, to be extra polite.
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Offline robert angel

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #27 on: October 12, 2011, 06:15:48 PM »

That "politely refusing an initial offer" thing is common in Japan, too.  Sometimes you even politely refuse the second offer!, only to accept the third offer, to be extra polite.

Yes--I learned that the hard way. First time I went to the Philippines, I met up with a group of about ten people I had met on-line over the course of almost two years, at a nice restaurant. We all ate and drank pretty good and when the bill came, I offered to pay for it. Actually, I think I offered more than once. Anyway, they said 'No thanks' and  thinking nothing more of it, I  just paid for my own. Later on, the person who kind of put the whole meeting together, a college professor, really lit into me--she was quite incensed at how cheap and culturally insensitive I was.

I felt bad, but at the same time, I realized that I had no idea I was making a mistake by not paying and I felt she should've realized I was clueless. I think she kind of fancied me as a suitor, so it was probably a blessing in disguise that she couldn't put one and one together and we didn't 'click'.

I sort of accept as a fact now that when I'm in the Philippines and we're out and about, eating, having drinks and even with transportation, they pretty much assume I'm picking up the tab, although there are exceptions.

Guys who are going to meet their lady's family for the first time, should find out what kind of 'special' food and drinks the family adults and kids like, buy a cooler and bring it on. Things like fresh, raw tuna, hot dogs, CHOCOLATE, ice cream, soft drinks, beer, a bottle of rum and some baked goods, just for starters, would be well received.

I dunno if this has been discussed recently here, but for guys on their first visit, where they meet 'her family and friends', it ought to be part of the '101 course'.

I think the concept of 'I come bearing gifts' when journeying abroad, goes back thousands of years.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2011, 06:29:45 PM by robert angel »
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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #27 on: October 12, 2011, 06:15:48 PM »

Offline thekfc

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #28 on: October 12, 2011, 06:18:29 PM »
Huh.  I didn't know Boss Coffee was an actual chain of coffee shops.  I thought it was just a brand, like Folgers or something.  You see cans of Boss Coffee in vending machines all over Japan.

That "politely refusing an initial offer" thing is common in Japan, too.  Sometimes you even politely refuse the second offer!, only to accept the third offer, to be extra polite.

I know of Boss Coffee (in the can from Japan), BOSS (Brodeth One-Stop Shop) & Bo's Coffee .
Maybe Zulu meant Bo's Coffee which is a coffee chain in the Philippines.
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Offline Researcher

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #29 on: October 12, 2011, 06:50:04 PM »


   Well Zulu there is nothing like learning about another culture the hard way! hehehe! Most of my similiar experiences were a little embarrassing but that's all.Misunderstandings do come about at times but the main thing is you have nothing to hide, just like you said.Your intentions are honorable and that should(and probably does) matter the most to her family.I under went a similiar experience with my ex-fiance.I had good intentions so it was no problem.

     Researcher
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Offline Ray

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #30 on: October 12, 2011, 09:07:51 PM »
 
OK, here's another one that you guys will likely experience down the road sooner or later.
 
 
You invite a Filipino to a party and they politley decline or make excuses why they may not be able to make it.
 
You invite them a second time and they politely decline again.
 
You invite them a third time and they accept.
 
In truth, they wanted to come all along but weren't sure if you really wanted them to come or if you were just being polite by inviting them. By initially declining, they are giving you a way to save face and not invite them again if you really didn't want them there in the first place.
 
The next time you are invited to a Filipino party, make some excuse why you don't think you can make it, then wait and see if you get a 2nd invitation, or a 3rd.
 
All this drama seems like such a waste of time and energy sometimes, but that's the way it works fellas so get used to it.
 
 
 :D
 
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Offline michaelb

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #31 on: October 12, 2011, 10:43:36 PM »
All this polite declining and re-inviting reminds me of a story some Irish musician I heard once used in his stage patter. He's leaving his small village, bound for Amerikay. First he's taking a train to Dublin, then a plane to New York. His mother gives him the names and addresses of two elderly ladies who used to live in their village whom she hasn't seen in years, but has kept in touch with. She tells him that she's already written them to say that he's traveling in their direction and that he must visit both of them on her behalf. He agrees, and when he makes Dublin he calls at the home of the first lady. She invites him in for a cup of tea, he politely declines but she insists, saying "Come on in, have a some tea and cake". He says "No, I don't want to trouble you". --"No trouble at all, I was about to put the kettle on for myself anyway and I'd love your company"....so he goes in, has the tea and cake and spends a several delightful hours listening to the old lady's stories about  "I knew your mother when she was a girl, I remember once she....".  Finally he has to leave to make his plane.

Next day, in New York, he calls at the other lady's home. He knocks, she opens the door and says "Maggie Malone's son! Sure, I know that from the looks of you! And how is your dear old mother? Come in, come in, have some tea.".... He said "Oh no, I really don't want to trouble you."......She said "Alright then" and shut the door in his face.   
« Last Edit: October 12, 2011, 10:47:08 PM by michaelb, Reason: correct spelling error »

Offline z_k_g

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #32 on: October 13, 2011, 03:20:30 AM »
Ice cream....a universal icebreaker....

The next few days were pretty laid back and routine.  I had been in Bohol over a week and was loving every minute of my stay. 

I had proven to the young women at front desk that I was not a "monger" and genuine suitor interested in only "one" pinay and they now simply chose to ignore my sweetie going up to my room (and not report this to the Auntie gossip network :D

Dating a province pinay is probably much different from dating one from the big city.  There is always a concern of being "judged" and the subject of scorn.  Sad but true and I was acutely aware of this so I watched my wandering eyes and kept my boyish juvenile tendencies in check. 

With any social situation, you only get one time to make a first impression.  Word travels quick in this place and as i was to find out later everyone is related to everyone else on this island!  There is no anonymity!!

We would meet for lunch every day and spend time talking or walking or just playing on our laptops.  This was nice because it was simple and unhurried with none of the usual time limits associated with cyber communication.  It was normal and relaxed.  She felt pretty comfortable around me and really enjoyed my company.  This was exactly the pinay I had gotten to know over the last year online.  I knew I had made a good decision. 

We had never really had a conversation about our age differences. Well we did joke about it quite a bit it wasn't a major issue. 

In the malls and on the street we were getting a lot of looks.  I really couldn't interpret the faces or understand the comments but I knew that she could and I was burning to ask her what was the general impression.  Finally I asked.

She said it still wasn't an issue with her but she had heard some comments that she didn't like, but generally the comments were more about what she was wearing!   For some reason pinays with a foreigner are supposed to look and dress a certain way?  More rich? 

Anyways, my sweetie always wants to look older so she tries to dress up.  Dresses, skirts, cute tops, a little eyeliner anything to add a few years!  This really doesn't concern me because no matter what she does she will look half my age (nice!) and in the states we will get the "she is young enough to be your daughter" stares regardless.  Comes with the territory.

The week went by quickly and my second weekend was planned to be a busy one.  An in town meeting at Aunties house and (maybe) travel deep into the province to Grace's farm to meet her mother and father.  The latter had not been decided yet as to when.  The meeting with the other family would decide my fate.

When Thursday arrived Grace was very excited.  Her cousin would also be arriving from Dumaguete City and he was looking forward to meeting me.  I figured about 10 or 20 would show up.  Wrong! 

We went to BQ mall and got some bottled water, fruit and some cupcakes for dessert.  As we were checking out, I noticed the ice cream freezer.  I had a great idea, Ice Cream and cupcakes.  I bought two litres of double chocolate! (this proved to be my ace as you will see later)

When we arrived the place was packed!  There had to be 30+ there and the food had not even been served!  I was introduced to everyone.  The women were all in the kitchen cooking and preparing the meal.  My sweetie joined them and the men sat outside drinking beer and playing cards.   The younger children were watching tv and playing in and out of the house.  More people arrived!

By the time the food was served there were over 50+ people there and enough food for everyone.  I was invited into the kitchen to eat first.  This was surprising to me but i simply sat and ate, Grace served me, nice!  Once I finished everyone else started eating.  The centerpiece of the meal was roasted lechon (pig) it was delicious.   I ate the ham portion (you have tear off what you want!) but seems that the pinoys wanted the skin and underlying fat!  That little piggie went quickly into the waiting tummies.

No one had really noticed my dessert packages.  The cupcakes went first with no fanfare, but when I broke out the Ice cream, I suddenly became the most popular foreigner on the island.  I was surrounded by youngsters.  It was a lot of fun and the ice cream disappeared quickly!

I talked to most of the relatives there, her other aunts and her cousins.  Some had been overseas workers so their English was excellent, others simply nodded and listened to the conversations.  Grace sat next to me and held my hand. 

Auntie was watching me closely like mother hen.   Uncle had consumed half a six pack of Red Horse beer and was starting to karaoke with the other men (why do pinoys take their shirts off after they drink???)

The family crowd dissipated and only the core family unit remained with the family helper and her children.

I was entertaining all the kids with jokes and my touchscreen blackberry Storm2.  We were having a ball taking silly pics and recording funny face videos!

Auntie finally gave up her protective stance and a smile crept on her face when she saw how much fun we were having!  I think she even managed a laugh!  My ice cream dessert had made me very popular with the kids.  I think this finally won Auntie over! 

Uncle, shirtless and quite happy with his selection of karaoke and the quantity of excellent beer he had consumed, wrapped his arm around me and told me that He (Auntie  ;) ) had decided to drive me to the farm himself to meet my sweeties parents!

Auntie added that she and her sisters would also come and prepare a proper meal for the meeting!

I felt pretty good.   (Grace's told me later that only after her mom and all the sisters talked would I be invited to come to her home.)

Some background:

Grace's mother was not in favor of her daughter having any type of serious relationship.  It had nothing to do with me being a foreigner, older or anything else.  Simply put, this was not her plan for her daughter and she was opposed.   At one point she had forbid her to accept my packages and told her to end all communication with me. 

Why? Well because all of her children had completed university and she was proud of this fact.  She would not allow her youngest daughter to marry early and quit college so this whole situation was simply unacceptable and she would just not get involved.

Surprisingly, I found out later, her sister, Auntie was more supportive of the relationship.  Although she was tough as nails, she was also pragmatic.  A good man is hard to find and she knew that Grace could do a lot worse than a kano! ;)   

She convinced her sister that she would root out the truth and find out my true intentions (by any means) and it was decided that If I passed Aunties examination (interrogation) that Mother would welcome me to the farm.

I headed back to the hotel to get some rest, it was long day and after lots of good food I was sleepy!

Next up....the family farm....the meeting with Mama and Papa!!
« Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 03:20:53 PM by z_k_g »
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other -"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-just stupid.) RAH

Offline Jeff S

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #33 on: October 13, 2011, 06:26:10 AM »
Loving the story z_k! Can't wait for the next chapter.  ;)

Offline piglett

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #34 on: October 13, 2011, 09:11:21 AM »
it all sounds good except 1 thing.....
why did you not read the book culture shock Zulu???
you would have known about the asking 2 times thing
maybe the icecream made up for it ?
 
 
 
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speaks falsely will stand in my presence.

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Offline z_k_g

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #35 on: October 13, 2011, 09:41:43 AM »
it all sounds good except 1 thing.....
why did you not read the book culture shock Zulu???
you would have known about the asking 2 times thing
maybe the icecream made up for it ?
pig

Yeah....my bad

I thought I had done my research pig, so I didn't bother with the culture shock book. 

Z
« Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 03:21:54 PM by z_k_g »
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other -"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-just stupid.) RAH

Offline JWR

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #36 on: October 13, 2011, 10:04:48 AM »
They all have to start getting an idea that you are serious....
No guy would go through all this, just to get a girl in bed.
What a great adventure you were having.  One of the reasons I started dating outside the US was I just liked the adventure of all of it.  After many years dating American girls, I was just bored with the whole thing.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2011, 07:47:20 PM by Bob_S, Reason: Deleted quote to save bandwidth. »

Offline z_k_g

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2011, 10:57:20 AM »
They all have to start getting an idea that you are serious....
No guy would go through all this, just to get a girl in bed.
What a great adventure you were having.  One of the reasons I started dating outside the US was I just liked the adventure of all of it.  After many years dating American girls, I was just bored with the whole thing.

J,

She was a virgin when I got there, and a virgin when I left! :D

Zulu
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other -"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-just stupid.) RAH

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2011, 10:57:20 AM »

Offline brettb

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #38 on: October 13, 2011, 03:06:16 PM »
it all sounds good except 1 thing.....
why did you not read the book culture shock Zulu???
you would have known about the asking 2 times thing
maybe the icecream made up for it ?
 
 
 
pig


Hey just an FYI...This asking more then once thing is very common in a lot of different cultures. I know my time in the middle east as well in some parts of Europe it was a common practice. I even think with my ex wifes family is was common practice  :o :o  anyways Zulu loving the trip report man!! I hope when i visit i can be half as informative as you have been!!

Offline z_k_g

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #39 on: October 13, 2011, 03:37:07 PM »

Hey just an FYI...This asking more then once thing is very common in a lot of different cultures. I know my time in the middle east as well in some parts of Europe it was a common practice. I even think with my ex wifes family is was common practice  :o :o  anyways Zulu loving the trip report man!! I hope when i visit i can be half as informative as you have been!!


br,


I was there 3 weeks (the 21 day maximum with no visa) so I've actually edited out quite a bit.   


An enjoyable, successful and memorable trip (or for that matter my relationship) would not have been halfway successful if not for kunya Ray, Piggie, theKfc, RobAngel, Heruamen, Jeff and w3.


The key is read the archives, ask a lot of questions before you make a major decision (don't be afraid of getting ripped apart and beaten to a pulp) and be very very patient and pick wisely.


You will have a very unique experience and you will remember every minute, but most importantly you will find a beautiful (maybe only to you) loving wife, I promise.


Zulu
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other -"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-just stupid.) RAH

Offline z_k_g

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2011, 04:16:01 PM »
So....What are your intentions Sir.... >:( .... ???

Meeting with my sweeties family in the city went very well.  Everyone (especially the kids) seemed to really like me and Auntie was finally convinced I was a sincere kano.  The next day I was told that the following Saturday we would take journey to the province to meet mama and papa.  Finally a date was set! 

My sweeties family was not the a very poor Philippine family but they were not rich or middle class either.  All of the family worked, farmed or were in school of some sort.  No one ever had a sick buffalo or needed an emergency operation.  I was never asked for any money for anything.  Auntie did ask me quite a bit about my work (to make sure I could support a wife I think) but that was the extent of talks about money.

As i said in my earlier post.  Mama was not in favor of this situation.  I found out later that Auntie and the other sisters (who were at aunties house for dinner and would be accompanying us to the province) would be making the final recommendation on my fate.  This was much different from my expectations; I was subjected to similar criteria that I would encounter by an American mother.  That was interesting and surprising.

Well, my second full week went by pretty quickly.  We fell into a routine similar to a dating or married couple.  We ate breakfast lunch and dinner together, did a lot of talking, walking and playing and she left promptly at 9:30 PM!  Pinays really are affectionate and boy do they squeeze tightly for such small women!   My clothing was collected and washed every other day, all my shirts and pants were ironed and ready and the bed was always made minutes after she showed up.   Nice!

Early Saturday morning I took a trike to ICM mall.  I met Grace, Auntie, Uncle and Auntie2 there to shop for food.  ICM has a pretty good grocery store.  If and when you travel to the Philippines you can eat pretty safely in the cities.  oh yeah, ALWAYS BUY BOTTLED WATER. In fact you will find most familiar products and American brands on the shelves or pretty close equalvelents.   The brand names are pretty expensive with prices being close to what we pay here or higher.  If you opt to go native then you will save some serious pesos.  We spent about 1,000 pesos ($23) to feed 8 people, nice!

Uncle was driving.  He owned a van that would seat 6.  Most people in bohol had motorcycles so it was nice to be able to ride in style!  We all jumped in the van and off too the province we went, the trip was about 2 hours, 60 mile trip or so.  The main roads were all paved and its an easy ride but you share the road with bikes, motorcycles, kids walking, parades, buffalo, cows, slow moving delivery trucks, etc.

The final 10 miles of the trip was through the jungle on dirt roads.  I was very concerned that the van would get stuck!  The dirt road was muddy, untraveled by cars or trucks and had many potholes.  The van's progress was slow and steady but we didn't get stuck in the mud!

Finally we reached the farm.  But the last 100 yards or so was by foot, through the jungle down a path through the mud!

We all grabbed a bag of food and walked down the winding path.  The jungle opened up to small house surrounded by 3 well kept rice patties, a pig pen, chicken coop and a few coconut trees. 

There stood Mama with a huge smile on her face waiting for us surrounded by two little dogs who were undecided whether to bark at us.  They greeted her in Cebuano.  She never took her eye off me!  I gave her a huge smile and hugged her!  She hugged me back!  Nice!  She speaks a little English and welcomed me to her home.

We went inside and all the food was taken to the kitchen area.   A fire had already been started and was hot, they were ready to cook!

One thing about the Philippines, the women run the house, this is what i noticed anyways.   Grace told me that most men work all week and then give their checks to the wives for the family expenses.   I'm not so sure if every Philippine family does this but i can  tell you that men do not cook or clean or for that matter do any household chores, not even take out the garbage (I never saw it).   I only saw women or the female helpers do any type of housework.

Anyways, Papa was in the rice patty working, so I decided to go out and find him and introduce myself and have some man time alone with him.  Grace came with me because he speaks no english whatsoever. 

He was not far from the house tending to the buffalo.  I braved the small pathways and shallow rice patty and got within 10 feet of him and the rather large mammel who was eyeing me cautiously.

Papa had a huge smile on his face and started greeting me in Cebuano (grace translating).   I responded in kind and he said he would be to the house shortly after he finished up.

I wandered around the farm taking pictures.  It was a very beautiful day, clear skies, not too hot and no rain.  Of course the house had no aircon but it was a nice natural breeze blowing so it was not uncomfortable.  (It did sprinkle rain quite a bit but no steady downpour)

When the food was finished the women called everyone to eat.  The meal was mostly philippine with lots of rice, fish, roasted chicken, veggies, fish (bangus i think), watermelon, mango, pineapple, and some sodas and iced tea.  Of course Uncle had brought his favorite red horse!  The food was great!

After the meal I presented mama and papa with some gifts that Emily( grace's sister in HK) and I had selected.  Chocolates for mama and special tabacos (cigars) for papa.  I had given similar gifts to Auntie and Uncle.

Mama really enjoyed her chocolates (she was not on a diet like her sister).    As she ate her chocolates she started to talk directly to me.  Grace came over to translate.

"Thank you for the nice chocolates sir, so what are your intentions with my Gracie?" I replied very confidently, "I have come here to meet you and her family and friends, i would like to marry your daughter. "   She seemed ok with that answer.  Papa was standing behind her, not adding anything to the inquiry.

Then she asked "...will you be taking her back with you?"   I replied "No, that is not my intention mama, I want Grace to finish her school and then get a good job."

All eyes were on me, there was a complete silence in the house.   I was prepared, I knew she was skeptical and she needed to speak to me directly and feel me out even after Aunties stamp of approval.  It was all good.

She looked at me and smiled. She finally said, "I pray that you will take good care of my daughter and respect her reputation"  I understood that completely and replied "I respect Grace and will take good care of her!"

With that mama ended her questions.  She and papa exchanged some words and my interview ended as quickly as it had started.  I honestly think mama was not completely sold..... but for now....she was satisfied.

I was glad to be off the hot seat....for the second time.  I went outside with uncle (who had already removed his shirt) to a share his red horse beer.

I felt a huge sigh of relief.  Uncle who I think really wanted me to do well, looked at me understanding my pain, smiled and popped the top off a cold one and handed it too me.  He told me that he had made this same trip some 20 years earlier, to visit Aunties mother, so he understood completely.  That gave me a great boost of encouragement.

I leaned back and just enjoyed the cold brew.

I turned to look in the door at my beautiful pinay cleaning up the table.  She gave me a great big smile.

I turned back, took a another long cold swig of my Red Horse and looked out over the jungle and rice patties.  Nice!

Life is good.....Man do I love the Philippines!

Next up.....My turn to host dinner....And never run out of rice!!

Zulu
« Last Edit: October 15, 2011, 09:35:28 PM by z_k_g »
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other -"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-just stupid.) RAH

Offline thekfc

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #41 on: October 15, 2011, 04:44:08 PM »
Quote
Next up.....My turn to host dinner....And never run out of rice!!
Supper size = extra rice.  ;D
If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?

Offline whitey

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #42 on: October 15, 2011, 07:57:51 PM »
Nice story Zulu ... thanks for posting ...
Hablo espanolo mucho bieno!

Offline Researcher

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #43 on: October 15, 2011, 11:28:01 PM »


    Trial by fire Zulu! Good to hear you have gotten approval so far.

    Researcher
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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #44 on: October 17, 2011, 01:33:30 PM »
My turn to host dinner.....More Rice Please!

I returned to the city late that evening from my province visit.  I felt pretty good overall.  I had met my sweeties family they seemed to like me and I had been welcomed back (always a good sign) to visit anytime!

My last week in the Philippines was approaching.  Man time flies.

Grace and I spent a lot of time talking and planning our next moves.  She was very pleased with the success of the trip.  Her family (mostly her mother) was not very supportive prior to the trip and now they were asking "when is the marriage!"

We decided to host a dinner and invite family and friends.  The hotel offered a nice package at club Atmosphere that included a private lounge for 3000p consumable. 

It was a dress up dinner and we also planned dance music and karaoke.   We met with the food service event planner and selected our menu items.   All was set for a great night!

We set the date for the following weekend, a Sunday.  I was to depart on Monday afternoon so it would be a farewell dinner also.

Bohol hosts two of the really unique wonders of the world, one animal-tasir monkeys one of the smallest mammals in the world and the other topographical- chocolate hills a truly unique natural phenomenon.   I had not seen either.  Grace was in school during the week so we had only the weekends to explore.  My first two weekends had been occupied with island hopping and family visits.

So we planned for a Saturday visit to chocolate hills and the tasir monkeys.  We had a full weekend planned and we both were very excited and somewhat sad at the same time.  I would be leaving soon.  I really tried not to think about it much.   I kept my impending departure in the back of my mind.

My last week passed.  During a chance encounter I met a DJ from the local radio station. He invited me to come to the broadcast booth and hang out one night.  That was a lot of fun.  He did a shout out from the USA to Bohol for me! 

I got to visit many of my sweeties classmates and friends.  They gave her a henna tattoo (her auntie hated it) on on back.  We all went out for some clubbin on Friday and had a blast.

Saturday arrived quickly.  We were to rent a car and driver to visit Soyboen peak and the chocolate hills complex.  When I called to check, no cars available (i had made a reservation)!  I called some other places and the prices were much higher!  I hate tourist season.

We were stuck.  Grace suggested that we rent a motorcycle.  Good Idea except that I hadnt ridden a bike in years, probably more like 20 years!

As the day moved on I had to make a decision so we went to a local pinoy motorbike rental place (skipping the rental agencies with the jacked up prices) and got a nice bike for 500p ($12) per day. 

Then it started raining!!  I parked the motorbike and we just waited.   The rain didn't stop till about 4pm, too late to ride and get back before dark. 

Major decision now.  So do we just return the bike today or make the long trek Sunday morning and then rush back to return for the farewell dinner Sunday evening?  Well, I just couldn't see traveling this far and getting this close and not seeing the chocolate hills!   

We decided to leave around 7am and try to return by 5pm.  The dinner was scheduled for 6pm, so we were cutting it close.  Also there was a slight chance of rain in the forecast for Sunday!  Oh well, just a chance we had to take.

We decided to make full use of the bike for Saturday  and took a ride down the south eastern Bohol coastline up too the coastal towns of Baclayon and Valencia to see some of the old churches and check out the beaches. 

It was fabulous!  The two lane highway followed the coastline and you were never far from the beach.  The fresh sea air was blowing out from the Bohol Sea and there was not a cloud in the sky!

We stopped in many of the small town squares and looked at the 200+ year old churches admiring the classic spanish architecture of the period. 

As the sun set we headed back to Tag city.

Went to bed early Saturday night and got up early Sunday.  I filled up with gas, went by aunties house and picked up my sweetie and we headed out to chocolate hills.

Since I had heard that rain was forecast, I suggested that we get ponchos for the ride, just in case ( I was a boy scout).  Grace disagreed, she didn't want to stop and dismissed the slight chance of rain.  So no rain protection.  I would regret this decision later!!!

We sped out of the city and headed down the coast then turned north.

It was about an hours ride to the Carmen Chocolate hills complex.  We were making good time, there was very little traffic on Sunday morning because of church service. 

The only thing that was slowing us down was the hilly roads and the large delivery trucks, but our progress was pretty decent.

Then it started to rain!  The it got heavier!  Then it started to downpour!  Then it got worse!!!

We were on a mountain pass and pulled over for shelter.  We huddled together under a cliff embankment for about an hour.  Then the rain stopped as abruptly as it had started.   We were soaked to the bone!

But we were determined so we continued.

We arrived at Chocolate Hills an hour later than planned.  It was worth the trip and getting soaking wet!!

We next headed to Sagbayen Peak the north west limits to the chocolate hills.  Sagbayan has the highest hill and also a panoramic view of Bohol and the eastern coast of Cebu Island.   Most importantly Sagbayen had a Tasir monkey sanctuary!!

The ride to Sagbayen was uneventful (no more rain).  I got to take some great pics of the monkeys and felt pretty good that we had accomplished our goal!

Now to get back to the city by 5pm.  It was already 4pm and we had 60 miles to travel.  We headed to the west coast of the island and decided to take the coastal highway back.

We were doing a steady clip of about 50mph, that would put us in the city around 5:30.

We passed by a huge crowd of filipinos near Calape, small town along the western coastal highway.  It was cock fighting!!  I had to stop and check it out!!  I did a quick run thru, took some pics and watched a cock fight! 

Jumped back on the bike and continued to Tag city.  We got there around 5:50 pm! 

Grace go dressed quickly (she had her dress at my hotel room) and we headed downstairs to dinner at the Atmosphere club!

We had invited about 18 guests including family and friends, everyone showed up!  Our event manager was on hand (I was a VIP ;D ) she told me the manager wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

The food was laid out, rice, chicken, fish, veggies, seafood, time to eat! 

The event manager came over to me and was like, "sir, your extra rice will be delayed we are cooking it now."  I was thinking, so what?  We had plenty of food, so if we ran low on rice, no big deal, right?

Wrong!

Our rice ran out and I had some very disappointed filipino's!   Grace was upset with the event manager (who disappeared).  Her auntie was whispering to her sisters and mama, it was not good!   

Fed up, I found the manager.  I made him go in the kitchen and get more rice!  Once those bowls of hot sticky rice showed up, the mood changed to festive again!

Whew!  Lesson learned. 

Everyone enjoyed the rest of the evening and thankfully no more issues.

The food was actually pretty good and we closed the night with karaoke and some dancing at the Atmosphere nightclub that adjoined our private VIP room.

My last day and night in Bohol  :( ....what an adventure!

Final install.....Leaving my sweetie....
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other -"sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful-just stupid.) RAH

Offline Ray

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #45 on: October 17, 2011, 04:13:25 PM »
 
Also for Robert's favorite phrases thread...
 
 
"Jesus Christ! No more rice?"
 
 
 :D
 
 

Offline Dave H

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #46 on: October 18, 2011, 08:49:41 AM »
Congratulations to you and Grace Zulu! You are a great looking couple! You look much younger than your age... having not been married before probably helps...(especially to a crazy Latina like me!)  ;D  Just joking LA Board guys.

Great trip report! Your trip report brings back a lot of fond memories of my provincial courtship in the Philippines, which began  11 years ago this very day. I remember how happy I was when my wife held my hand for the first time...then I realized that it was so I wouldn't fall into a deep hole in the road that was hidden in the darkness right in front of me!  ::) Our 10th wedding anniversary is also today. I hope you have as wonderful a ride as I have had!
 
Best wishes!
 
Dave
 
 
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Offline Jeff S

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #47 on: October 18, 2011, 10:28:18 AM »
Like that quote from the 40 Year Old Virgin movie... "No she-devil has sucked the life force out of him."

Planet-Love.com

Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #47 on: October 18, 2011, 10:28:18 AM »

Offline piglett

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #48 on: October 18, 2011, 10:58:39 AM »
Congratulations to you and Grace Zulu! You are a great looking couple! You look much younger than your age... having not been married before probably helps
hey Zulu make sure you get proof from your state that you have NEVER been married. i did & then went to a different building to get proof that the 1st document was real. good thing i did or the wedding would not have taken place. they really had a problem believing that a guy 39 years old had never married.
 
good luck
pig
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Offline Ray

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Re: My Trip to Philippines
« Reply #49 on: October 18, 2011, 11:28:49 AM »
 
Happy Anniversary Mr & Mrs H!
 
 
         
 

 
 
Ray
 
 
 

 

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