helping out... the money issue

[Researcher]

Sure, there's a lot of that going on ... with women who have nothing else happening in their lives.

If you date a woman from a decent intact family (does not have to be estrato 5 or 6), who is working 5.5 or 6 days per week, and is studying most of the rest of the time, it is VERY unlikely you will have to deal with this behavior.

These women are not mythical.  My wife was like that, her sister is the same, and many of the women in their circles of friends at work and school are the same.

  Well Whitey, my wife sounds alot like yours so maybe you and I got the only two Unicorns that were left in Colombia. The rest of the these guys will just have to look elsewhere. hehehe!

 Researcher

[chameleon]

Some good posts lately. I'll obviously have to come to an agreement with my novia and not you guys, but I like Ray's idea and the approach of gradually getting her to understand the need to have money put aside for unforeseen events in the future. Actually, now is the perfect time to do it because losing her job and the stress that caused is still fresh in her mind.


What i prefer to avoid is having them expecting and dependent upon the money, so that if it has to stop, it creates additional problems. I'm a big fan of keeping fixed expenses down as much as possible. The good news is both of her brothers work. They don't have fantastic jobs but aren't layabouts either. The lack of any sort of pension/savings makes it all more understandable i guess.

[JimD]

 The good news is both of her brothers work. They don't have fantastic jobs but aren't layabouts either. The lack of any sort of pension/savings makes it all more understandable i guess.

.
If Colombians work at any job that is not "informal" like selling minutes in the street they do indeed recieve a pension. If you employ a Colombian full time even as something like a gardener you have to pay into his pension. If he earns the salario minimo your cost as employer is $64.400 per month. In fact if you want to see the rest of what they get or want to see what a maid will run you check this site:
.

http://consultas-laborales.com.co/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=215:smlmv-ano-2011&catid=1:laboral&Itemid=86
 

[chameleon]

Ah, good info. thanks.

[Deseo]

The cold hard truth is that you are the DECIDER!  Act like it!

This is not Kansas and this is not a fairy tale, and she may be a hot latina princess but you are the f*cking king!

Its up to YOU to pick the one who not only physically fulfills YOUR NEEDS but also FULFILLS YOU IN EVER OTHER WAY!

And.....Remember....you are in SA bro!

If she can't fulfill you needs COMPLETELY, Her better (hotter) replacement is just around the corner!

Zulu

I'd be the first to agree that SOME women in the U.S. have castrated their men and that men in such situations need to either sack up or walk away (or both).
 
But I in NO WAY have any desire to be a king over any woman.  I would NEVER want my own sister to get near a guy that displays the domineering attitude you are displaying.  But I won't have to worry b/c she would never put up with that type of attitude.

[Micky]

I am not going back and reading it again,  so my bad memory will have to do.  I am not making any reference to Z and M4's history lesson.

I believe that Z's first post regarding the KING,  and I do believe also he pointed this out,  was a more/less wake up call for newbees.  I never got the sense that he was promoting overbearing jackass behavior by any man.  I believe his point with the "king"  statement was act like a man.  Like your Dad or Grandpa.  You know,  a real man from the "greatest generation",  not some watered down,  carry the bags at the mall,  azz kissing "modern"  slug.  Maybe I did miss the whole point and he is promoting guys to be a hard nose jerk,  but I don't think that was his point at all.
 

　
Micky                                                                     

[z_k_g]

I'd be the first to agree that SOME women in the U.S. have castrated their men and that men in such situations need to either sack up or walk away (or both).
 
But I in NO WAY have any desire to be a king over any woman.  I would NEVER want my own sister to get near a guy that displays the domineering attitude you are displaying.  But I won't have to worry b/c she would never put up with that type of attitude.

Thanks Micky.....

Deseo,

Obviously, You have not read all my posts.

Why don't you read everything that I wrote in the context of THIS thread before you assume anything about my king reference.

If you still have the same opinion (I can't see how you will) then that's your right.

My posts are focused on guys who act like the woman is in charge and allow themselves to be used and taken advantage of (I think chemeleon was being used as an ATM by his novia based on his story) when the travel to SA (or Asia).

In that context, they should understand they are in charge and should act like men, and...I then said..."This is not Kansas and this is not a fairy tale, and she may be a hot latina princess but you are the f*cking king!"

If you take the time to read ALL my posts on this subject you would understand where I'm going with my "king" comments, in the context of not being pushed around by your novia, taking full responsibility for your actions and being fully prepared for this journey of marrying a foreign bride.

Zulu

[Deseo]

JWR,

The idea that somehow a woman, any woman now matter how hot or what country she happens to live in or how she was raised, controls the situation in my house, is simply ludicrous.

Never dude, not in this town.

My mom didn't raise a bitch boy, she raised a man and a leader. 

I am the king of my house, my domain and every woman I have ever dated, befriended, loved or lived with knows this fact.

We have a serious problem with feminists and their man hating agendas and their ultimate goal- destroy manhood.

But, guess what, they are not the most destructive to us.

We men have a problem claiming our right to lead, to be men, to control, to decide, to be kings.   We have even cowered to such a point that we are embarrassed to call ourselves KINGS.  We are our own worst enemy. 

We have given up our birthright, relinquished our proper place on this planet and like a bunch of nutless whimps we now "share" power with our women!   

What a f*cking shame! 

So what kind of men are we, what should we call ourselves in the brave new world of androgynous eqaulness?  Princes?  Dukes? Earls?  Hmmm, no those are too lofty titles, I say we are just plain Bitches.

When I was growing up, my friends and I had no problem calling ourselves kings when we played on the school yard.  Nowadays if a kid even hinted that he was "king of the hill" the entire faculty would gang tackle his little ass and haul him into the principals office and force feed him some mood altering drug to modify his "sick" non PC behavior.

I see the same corrections being applied to grown men, retroactively!  We no longer can brag about anything manly or even hint that we run sh*t at home.   

Such "aggressive" behavior would be instant grounds for a social workers visit to your home to "check" on the kids for signs of abuse, or some woman's advocacy nut case pulling your wife/gf/partner to the side to inquire if you have emotionally, physically or mentally damaged her!

Best to keep your mouth firmly shut because whether you know it or not our courts now have some laws on the book that allow a female to lock you up if just feels threatened! 

So much for due process.

Well, regardless of the political, social, relationship and possible legal ramifications, I think men are the kings and we should not relinquish that title no matter the real or imagined threats imposed.

So.....I will not be coerced, corrected, manipulated in to submission, I will speak my mind, speak the truth.

I will assume my god given role as the leader of my family with no reservations.  I am the final decision maker, I am the decider.  I am also fair, reasonable, caring and loving with my wife and children. 

Like a good general, my wife follows my lead and take care of the house, her domain.  I require an independent strong women who can intelligently take charge of their command under my leadership.  Arm candy-sausage head-mall shopping-baby makers need not apply here!

Most importantly, as with any great leader, I rule with compassion and understanding but embrace my role and have no problem making heads roll at the proper time.

King Solomon said "kindness and faithfulness keep a king safe, through kindness his throne is made secure."

A King is not a dictator a tyrant!  (As the feminists would have you believe)

So....like I said.....

I'm the f*cking King....what are you?

Zulu

Zulu:  I appreciate the clarification but I did read your entire post including the one quoted here.  I think we'll have to agree to disagree. It does sound very much like you want to control your woman like a king to his subject. No matter how benevolent you say you are, it is a very controlling and domineering attitude.   

[Ray]

These colombianas are half woman and half girl and very easily influenced by friends and family members and if they know of someone who receives better treatment then they do, maybe by an other foreigner or a well to do colombiano, they are mighty confused.

　
This is just my opinion, but any female who is very easily influenced by friends and family members, and who is confused because someone receives more than she does, will never make good wife material... unless you only want half a wife.   
 
　
　
　
　
　

[JWR]

JWR,

"The idea that somehow a woman, any woman now matter how hot or what country she happens to live in or how she was raised, controls the situation in my house, is simply ludicrous."

"LiSo.....I will not be coerced, corrected[/b], manipulated in to submission, I will speak my mind, speak the truth.

"Like a good general, my wife follows my lead and take care of the house, her domain."
 
Most importantly, as with any great leader, I rule with compassion and understanding but embrace my role and have no problem making heads roll at the proper time.
[/b]

Zulu can you clarify a bit for me?  So you are going to marry this beautiful and intelligent 21 year old engineer that will be working and earning money, you will not allow her to correct you,  she will have to take care of "your" house that you say is her "domain" but you actually will be controlling the "situation".  And if things don't go the way you think they should, then you will be  making heads roll .
 

JWR,

The idea that somehow a woman, any woman now matter how hot or what country she happens to live in or how she was raised, controls the situation in my house, is simply ludicrous.

Never dude, not in this town.

My mom didn't raise a bitch boy, she raised a man and a leader. 

I am the king of my house, my domain and every woman I have ever dated, befriended, loved or lived with knows this fact.

We have a serious problem with feminists and their man hating agendas and their ultimate goal- destroy manhood.

But, guess what, they are not the most destructive to us.

We men have a problem claiming our right to lead, to be men, to control, to decide, to be kings.   We have even cowered to such a point that we are embarrassed to call ourselves KINGS.  We are our own worst enemy. 

We have given up our birthright, relinquished our proper place on this planet and like a bunch of nutless whimps we now "share" power with our women!   

What a f*cking shame! 

So what kind of men are we, what should we call ourselves in the brave new world of androgynous eqaulness?  Princes?  Dukes? Earls?  Hmmm, no those are too lofty titles, I say we are just plain Bitches.

When I was growing up, my friends and I had no problem calling ourselves kings when we played on the school yard.  Nowadays if a kid even hinted that he was "king of the hill" the entire faculty would gang tackle his little ass and haul him into the principals office and force feed him some mood altering drug to modify his "sick" non PC behavior.

I see the same corrections being applied to grown men, retroactively!  We no longer can brag about anything manly or even hint that we run sh*t at home.   

Such "aggressive" behavior would be instant grounds for a social workers visit to your home to "check" on the kids for signs of abuse, or some woman's advocacy nut case pulling your wife/gf/partner to the side to inquire if you have emotionally, physically or mentally damaged her!

Best to keep your mouth firmly shut because whether you know it or not our courts now have some laws on the book that allow a female to lock you up if just feels threatened! 

So much for due process.

Well, regardless of the political, social, relationship and possible legal ramifications, I think men are the kings and we should not relinquish that title no matter the real or imagined threats imposed.

So.....I will not be coerced, corrected, manipulated in to submission, I will speak my mind, speak the truth.

I will assume my god given role as the leader of my family with no reservations.  I am the final decision maker, I am the decider.  I am also fair, reasonable, caring and loving with my wife and children. 

Like a good general, my wife follows my lead and take care of the house, her domain.  I require an independent strong women who can intelligently take charge of their command under my leadership.  Arm candy-sausage head-mall shopping-baby makers need not apply here!

Most importantly, as with any great leader, I rule with compassion and understanding but embrace my role and have no problem making heads roll at the proper time.

King Solomon said "kindness and faithfulness keep a king safe, through kindness his throne is made secure."

A King is not a dictator a tyrant!  (As the feminists would have you believe)

So....like I said.....

I'm the f*cking King....what are you?

Zulu

[robert angel]

JWR,

The idea that somehow a woman, any woman now matter how hot or what country she happens to live in or how she was raised, controls the situation in my house, is simply ludicrous.

Never dude, not in this town.

My mom didn't raise a bitch boy, she raised a man and a leader. 

I am the king of my house, my domain and every woman I have ever dated, befriended, loved or lived with knows this fact.

We have a serious problem with feminists and their man hating agendas and their ultimate goal- destroy manhood.

But, guess what, they are not the most destructive to us.

We men have a problem claiming our right to lead, to be men, to control, to decide, to be kings.   We have even cowered to such a point that we are embarrassed to call ourselves KINGS.  We are our own worst enemy. 

We have given up our birthright, relinquished our proper place on this planet and like a bunch of nutless whimps we now "share" power with our women!   

What a f*cking shame! 

So what kind of men are we, what should we call ourselves in the brave new world of androgynous eqaulness?  Princes?  Dukes? Earls?  Hmmm, no those are too lofty titles, I say we are just plain Bitches.

When I was growing up, my friends and I had no problem calling ourselves kings when we played on the school yard.  Nowadays if a kid even hinted that he was "king of the hill" the entire faculty would gang tackle his little ass and haul him into the principals office and force feed him some mood altering drug to modify his "sick" non PC behavior.

I see the same corrections being applied to grown men, retroactively!  We no longer can brag about anything manly or even hint that we run sh*t at home.   

Such "aggressive" behavior would be instant grounds for a social workers visit to your home to "check" on the kids for signs of abuse, or some woman's advocacy nut case pulling your wife/gf/partner to the side to inquire if you have emotionally, physically or mentally damaged her!

Best to keep your mouth firmly shut because whether you know it or not our courts now have some laws on the book that allow a female to lock you up if just feels threatened! 

So much for due process.

Well, regardless of the political, social, relationship and possible legal ramifications, I think men are the kings and we should not relinquish that title no matter the real or imagined threats imposed.

So.....I will not be coerced, corrected, manipulated in to submission, I will speak my mind, speak the truth.

I will assume my god given role as the leader of my family with no reservations.  I am the final decision maker, I am the decider.  I am also fair, reasonable, caring and loving with my wife and children. 

Like a good general, my wife follows my lead and take care of the house, her domain.  I require an independent strong women who can intelligently take charge of their command under my leadership.  Arm candy-sausage head-mall shopping-baby makers need not apply here!

Most importantly, as with any great leader, I rule with compassion and understanding but embrace my role and have no problem making heads roll at the proper time.

King Solomon said "kindness and faithfulness keep a king safe, through kindness his throne is made secure."

A King is not a dictator a tyrant!  (As the feminists would have you believe)

So....like I said.....

I'm the f*cking King....what are you?

Zulu

Zulu,
 
If memory serves, you were married to a woman before, who had children and the scenario described above isn't the way things went as I recall. Maybe you're trying to map out the future according to what you describe above, but I think it sounds heavy handed and idealistic towards your own needs. Perhaps having been burned in the past, you're going a bit overboard to make sure it doesn't happen again, but I think time will temper your thoughts on these subjects.

I am mindful that this is on the Latin side of the board and that what I descibe is probably more typical of Kano--American relationships.

If a guy's done his homework right on choosing the right woman, fancying himself as a 'king' and feeling he has to often let his wife know he's in control shouldn't be too necessary. She should already know the score. If my wife didn't find it OK to tell me that I--more accurately 'we' might want to do something, or more typically, 'could have' handled something differently, I'd have screwed up a number of times.

It's just a small snap shot, but we just got back from a weekend in Orlando, where with two other couples, we hit three theme parks, shopped and ate out a lot, doing a lot of things very quickly and not sleeping much. It got tense a few times and we argued. Not acting assholian in front of other people, as is more typical in American couples, but we 'had words'. She spoke her piece. When we finally got home and we were alone in bed, she asked, in total seriousness, if I felt she over stepped her bounds.

I told her I was OK, because we kept it pretty much 'in house' although being real close in with two other Fil-Am couples, they were somewhat aware a couple times. Actually, they handled their tensions in more immature ways than we did, we both agreed. She never tried to make me look small or herself more powerful. I told her that things that she expressed annoyance at, even getting a bit snippy about, that if she didn't let them out they would have boiled up inside her until the' lid blew off the teapot'--that it was good she let some steam off.

No, I won't go so far to say 'I respect her as an EQUAL' --there's a bias in there and that's just not how it works, but more than anyone else in my life besides my father, I value her opinion. As she's around me almost constantly, she's very influential. In matters, work, economic and social, I listen. I have veto power, but she could, conceivably 'filibuster' and try to wear me out until I changed. Hasn't happened, but I wouldn't rule it out. She's gonna get those pearl earrings---eventually! We've finally got a nice little house back in her country, it just took six years of her occasionally reminding me of her 'dream' and how it was very important--although she never nagged.

I don't worry too much about laying out the rules, power or the appearance of power, because we both know the score and are comfortable with the situation. I worry more about maintaining 'balance'--a level, long term perspective.
 
Most importantly, she was the way she is now then ---years ago when I first met her. I didn't have to really 'lay down the law' or feel a need to 'train her'--because she already lived according to rules we both felt worked. Life in the USA has changed her some, including how she views independence, money and material things, but fundementally she is basically the same person who I first met.
That is the KEY--that she was the way I wanted from the start and I didn't feel I needed to 'lay down the law' or greatly change her. Thankfully her core values, as I expected, seem to be ingrained and we don't have to revisit them and try to 'go back in time'.

Sometimes, the more rules we try to write in stone and the harder we try to assert ourselves as being in charge, the easier it is to slowly be undermined as time goes by. My wife knows I usually listen to what she says, or at least more accurately,  I give her the time as I listen and then make up my mind about what's best for all of us. If I didn't listen, if I bullied and belittled her, reminding her of her place versus mine, I'd stand  to alienate and lose my closest advisor.

If anything, I'd say I tend to let her feel that she's more in charge if things than she actually is, while she feels secure in knowing I'll take control when necessary. And I feel secure that if I became unable to fulfill my duties, that she'd still have her core values intact, as well as the ability to keep our life and household running well, having seen it run, with her by my side and not hiding in my shadow.
 

[z_k_g]

Rob,

I stand by my post 110%.

Great counterpoints.

Zulu

[z_k_g]

JWR,

"The idea that somehow a woman, any woman now matter how hot or what country she happens to live in or how she was raised, controls the situation in my house, is simply ludicrous."

"LiSo.....I will not be coerced, corrected, manipulated in to submission, I will speak my mind, speak the truth.

"Like a good general, my wife follows my lead and take care of the house, her domain."
 
Most importantly, as with any great leader, I rule with compassion and understanding but embrace my role and have no problem making heads roll at the proper time.

Zulu can you clarify a bit for me?  So you are going to marry this beautiful and intelligent 21 year old engineer that will be working and earning money, you will not allow her to correct you,  she will have to take care of "your" house that you say is her "domain" but you actually will be controlling the "situation".  And if things don't go the way you think they should, then you will be  making heads roll .

JWR,

I think my post and the subsequent posts, in context, are self explanatory.

Zulu

[JimD]

Hey Ray what year is your dump? It looks cherry.

[robert angel]

Rob,

I stand by my post 110%.

Great counterpoints.

Zulu

Here and now, anyway. Give it time and see what happens when immovable objects meet irresistible forces.

[z_k_g]

Rob,

Do you stand behind your posts?

I'll continue to render MY opinion with absolute resolve, I will write and express EXACTLY whats on my mind, and you should do the same.

I have rendered valuable and succinct advice and council on this thread, from my point of view. 

Valuable is relative, whats valuable to one may have zero value to another, so if you don't see any value in my prose or my point of view, then post your own, that's your right.

You or no one else is the holder of "right" or "wrong" so you need to check your self righteous attitude.

Its my opinion....

If you don't like what I say....post your own and skip or ignore mine.

Zulu

[Researcher]

I'll continue to render MY opinion with absolute resolve, I will write and express EXACTLY whats on my mind, and you should do the same.

Zulu

      I always enjoy reading your posts Zulu but good luck on that one with this crowd. hahaha!

      Researcher

[robert angel]

Zulu, Regarding the below (and a few on this thread preceding it) posts:

>>Rob,

Do you stand behind your posts?

I'll continue to render MY opinion with absolute resolve, I will write and express EXACTLY whats on my mind, and you should do the same.

I have rendered valuable and succinct advice and council on this thread, from my point of view. 

Valuable is relative, whats valuable to one may have zero value to another, so if you don't see any value in my prose or my point of view, then post your own, that's your right.

You or no one else is the holder of "right" or "wrong" so you need to check your self righteous attitude.

Its my opinion....

If you don't like what I say....post your own and skip or ignore mine.

Zulu<<
 
OK Zulu, AKA, Z_K_G, Z,


Yes, I stand behind my posts. A the same time, I'm man enough to know when to admit I'm wrong and yes, to even apologize--something exceedingly rare around these parts. I'm not anal about my posts and unless someone's totally off the chain, I will respond to their criticisms and not just say "I stand by it". This is a forum, not a lectern. A couple guys from the Latin side have made accusations of me similar to yours--saying I seemed in their eyes anyway to present myself as 'P-l's moral concience', but I do not consider them valid--no one general member could be that and they'd be crazy to want to be, I think. Nonetheless,  rather than rather than dismiss their posts summarily, I responded with what I felt was a reasonable response and rebutall. Viva Le Difference!


I think I'm usually careful about explaining that what I say comes from my perspective, that basically 'one size does not fit all'.


Unlike some, I Don't go on the Latin side telling guys how to handle things--I do post there, but I'm careful not to pretend that I have any sort of expertise on Latin specific issues. Yea I have had Latino GFs in the past, have Latino family members and I've been to Mexico a few times--but S. America?--never been.


Zulu, unlike you, I don't think anyone would say that I seem to put forth some notion that I hold some special license to delineating what is 'right or wrong'. You may feel that you have:


                                            >>valuable and succinct advice and council <<


Personally, I don't feel that's for you to judge. You seem to be listening soley  to your own mind and not taking into consideration what others have to say. I know you've been burned in the past maritally, (so have I), you've been offended here as also and that hasn't gone over well. It was alluded here also that basically you can't REALLY be THAT rigid about all these rules and maxims that you as the 'king' put forth for in your house. I hope that's true.


I think that SOME of what you say is great--and I have advised that people discuss wishes, wants, boundaries, rules and deal breakers BEFORE the marriage.


So yes, I feel that we should definitely have expectations that we consider 'deal breakers' early on, rules of engagement and rules of marriage, but once you've laid out the rules, the playing field is set and you're both in motion, if you can't change according to the 'game conditions' I promise you will lose the game. It might take 5 or 10 years, probably less, but you cannot sustain a relationship without compromise to some degree.


Call it me trying to decide what's right or wrong, call me self righteous or whatever, I still think you're an intelligent guy who's rightfully infatuated with a beautiful gal who sounds like a great find--like you said --'that's my opinion'.


And in my opinion, you need to lay of this rigid 'king' stuff,  what your 'momma taught 'you and 'how it's gonna be' kinda macho stuff and look at the tone of your own posts lately in this and other threads. I have made some awful posts myself at times--sometimes a few in a row---most of us who've been here long enough whiff a few.
 

Most importantly, I'm not trying to bust your balls here or run you off of P-L again. In the past, you've contributed a lot and while I feel you're a bit 'out of sorts' lately and not the guy we usually see here, I hope you don't get totally P.O'd again and just quit posting here. You may like Floyd Mayweather, but I don't hate you for that--or for anything!   
 
You won't like this, but I'm really trying to save your ass some grief down the line, or if not you, maybe someone else who might be reading this.
 
You're a good guy and it sounds like you've found a quality lady. Instead of being 'standoffish' and immovable, maybe giving the whole situation as much serious thought as possible and considering other's experience and yes, their opinions, will do you more good than harm. Look at it as a 'vacination' of sorts--a shot in the arm that may hurt short term, but really might possibly save you a whole lotta pain down the line. Believe me, you've got to be ready to 'roll with the changes' on this one.

 
The way I see it, based on ten years with my woman, six as man and wife and 14 years of marriage to a another Filipina before that, I'm trying to get you to lighten and loosen up your mindset (which I think you will invariably do anyway--or else) to save you from a train wreck down the line, just  in case you can't change what seems to me at present anyway, to be a somewhat strange, rigid mindset.

 
You're wife to be WILL change some after a while in the USA and if she's a pretty social person, working full time or is (I definitely WON'T say "just") a mommy hanging out with other mommies, that will all effect the rate of change. She will likely develop a new, (probably not excessive) appreciation for some of the 'finer things' more commonly seen around here, which may or may not surprise you.
 
She'll meet Filipinas who'll brag about how not only did they recieve tidy divorce settlements, including, alimony, homes and cars, but who will also be more than happy to try to hand her their lawyer's business card as well. We stay out of most Fil-Am events, as my wife detests those wenches.

 
Expect for the first six months to a year for you not to be able to lift a finger around the house, to not to be able to cut your own nails even, but that will change some too, as exposure to the material world, socialization's effects and/or the demands of working full time take their inevitable toll. My wife works real hard--40-50 hours a week and nowadays will occasionally ask me to start a load of laundry or throw it in the dryer--she usually does it though and she still always wants to take it out, fold and iron it. She finds it sweet when I help prepare a meal with her occasionally and it's actually fun time. She's not as fast to do a manicure on me these days as before, but she'll reach into her purse, into her 'discretionary income' when we're at the mall, suggesting I have one, and if I even LOOK at a nail clipper, she'll insist on doing my nails, as she wants them to look 'just right'.
 
She'd like to take a vacation out of town with her two best friends someday, but I won't allow it--I just don't fancy the idea of three sexy Filipinas 'Doing Vegas'.



If as in your case, you're marrying a gal less than half your age, chances are she's marrying you because she's expecting that man who's older will be more settled, wise, mature, not a cheapskate and not be one to 'play the field'.

Most Filipinas worth having, again in my opinion, typically want a guy who can lead, making decisions, be flexible to changing conditions as needed, yet be consistent, trustworthy and still show some sensitivity--make them feel romanced and importantly, still make them laugh, long after the honeymoon's over. They don't care much for cavemen, from what I've seen.


Robert

[Bob_S]

Note: Posts dealing the the causes of the American Revolution and its relation to the topic of "King" have been NOT been deleted but rather split and moved to Off Topic posts under the subject title "American History".  Please continue that thread there.

Mod Bob

[fathertime]

zulu your perspective does crack me up a bit...


in my opinion this exceptionally strong attitude within a marriage just won't work out well unless you find that rare woman who will accept it and there are very few ladies who will remain like this over time.  I stand behind this post 95% only though!


Fathertime!

[z_k_g]

FT,

My posts about Risk management (which you apparently have not read) articulate, what I think is a constructive universal methodology for dealing with prepagos.

My "king" post that you are referring to you, is really being taken out of the context of my original point to the thread author that he should "man up" and "king up" and get some balls and not be used as an ATM.

Z

[z_k_g]

Rob, aka Robert, R

With all due respect, you have not read any of my important and relevant posts on this thread.

I talk about risk factors and establishing rules.  I give very valuable and succinct advice and council that can be applied to international relationships anywhere, Colombia, SA or SEA.  I have the experience and knowledge, and like you, I share it.  You are free to do the same.

Point of information, the words valuable and succinct have no relation to, or imply in any way, right or wrong.  I'm not seeing how you are making such a comparison or logical leap.

I have never told you or anyone else that I am right or wrong about anything.  I have rendered my opinion and related my experiences and that's pretty much it.  I think my advice and experiences are valuable, its up to the other posters to decide if they agree.

You have spent an inordinate amount of time on my opinions concerning being the "king" of my household and what that means.  You somehow imply from my statements I am a dictator and conclude I will abuse my pinay wife and dominate her with some restrictive caveman attitude, ultimately ending up in a "train wreck".

I find your conclusions myopic at best.  Once again you have not read my other posts on this thread and the ones you have cited have been taken out of the context of my original point to the thread author that he should "man up" and "king up" and get some balls and not be used as an ATM.

As I said earlier, you have a right to your opinion, but you will never be changing my mind about this specific point of view that I posted, because from my perspective, this is my life and not yours, it works for me and I think it will work for him in this SPECIFIC situation.

Further, we are both free to give advice and render opinions when guys post in the Asian or Latin sections. We don't always agree on that council.  Why?  Because there is no "right and wrong" and for any situation there may be very different solutions that will work.

And Rob, who are you to even comment on what section I post? 

You don't have any authority to chastise and correct me or anyone else on the proper location to post on P-L.  If you notice, I render my opinion on the Latin side only in general terms.  In some sections, I make no posts because I have nothing valuable to add. 

So, if you don't like where or what I post just skip it. 

Also, No one runs me off from anywhere. 

The fact is I don't insult or name call anyone, I don't feel that's how a man should react in stressful situations where he has been wronged.  I've learned to walk away from situations where there is no productive dialog and the moderators are not doing their job. 

I have better things to do and more productive ways to spend my time.

As far as Mayweather is concerned, he is undefeated and very rich, which I am not.  And if you are comparing me to him, then that's a complement, maybe one day I will get a $40 million dollar pay day. (not too likely be we can dream)

On the other hand, should I compare you to Pacquiao who is also very rich, but is also whore monger and cheats on his wife? 

Mayweather is a very rich man who is obviously ducking and dodging another very rich man so they both can make millions in the end.  Stop adding this type of silliness to the conversation, neither man has anything to do with this conversation, for that matter you or I, and quite frankly, its above you.

As far as my "momma" is concerned, I would not expect you to understand or appreciate my point of view or why my mother would give me that particular advice. 

My mother grew up in the deep south in Jim Crown where routinely black men were treated as boys, coons, and were basically sub human, like dogs or pets.  She grew up in a society that her brother or father or any black man could be lynched for any reason with no recourse. 

From this perspective, my mother wanted to make sure her sons were men, leaders and "king" of their houses and took full responsibility to protect and nurture their family and community.

I am a man and "the king" of my household and proud of it.

You completely lack my perspective and my experiences so I would not expect you to understand any of that, and really, you don't have too.

When you finish rendering your thoughts on P-L, go and live your life the way you want, I will do the same.

As far as my relationship is concerned, and her age, etc, etc, read my travel report and my posts.

You have much more first hand experience with pinays (being married to two) than I do, I respect that as you know. 

But I have also have close friends (my best friend mother) and family (many cousins) married to pinays and thais.  I have first hand experience growing up in and around these relationships and If I need advice or council, I make a phone call or jump in my car.

Finally, you allude to me being "out of sorts",  I'm not sure what that means.

I enjoy a good debate, keeps the mind sharp.

I also enjoy posting and will continue as long as I can contribute in a constructive way and get what I want out of P-L.

Z

[thekfc]

On the other hand, should I compare you to Pacquiao who is also very rich, but is also whore monger and cheats on his wife?

Ouch!!!!

[robert angel]

On the other hand, should I compare you to Pacquiao who is also very rich, but is also whore monger and cheats on his wife? 

I don't think that anyone could remotely infer that I was comparing Zulu to Mayweather when I wrote:

                >>. You may like Floyd Mayweather, but I don't hate you for that--or for anything! <<
 
I did get the at the top (over the top?) quote in response from Zulu and in response that comment, Kfc's comment:                                             
                                                                      >>Ouch!!!!<<

Well, it was a cheap shot alright, but one of Zulu's heroes--Floyd Mayweather, is no stranger to cheap shots either, so it just goes to show.

If you look at this clip--and compared to the HBO feed I saw live at the movie theater, it actually shows the action from a favorable angle for Mayweather maybe you'll agree that Mayweather isn't exactly a 'stand up guy'. The PFV feed made it very clear that Ortiz had his hands down, was completely unsuspecting and that the referee wasn't expecting such--HE wasn't even looking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w3ZAObl4QM

The fight Zulu thinks will occur may never happen. Mayweather's almost 35 y/o, over two years older than Pacquiao.

Right now, Mayweather faces charges of felony coercion, grand larceny, robbery, misdemeanor domestic battery and harassment after allegedly beating up his ex-girlfriend and mother of (some) of his children, as well as stealing her cellphone. He could face up to 34 years in state prison if convicted on all charges. He has been convicted of other similar crimes, so things may not go well in court this time.
 
Besides his recent cases where he was accused of assaulting security officers, Mayweather's history shows he seems to like beating women at least as much as he does men:

Back in 2002 Mayweather was charged with two counts of domestic violence as well as one count of misdemeanor battery, for which he received a 6 month suspended sentence, 2 days of house arrest and an order to perform 48 hours of community service. Then n 2004, he received a one year suspended jail sentence, was ordered to undergo counseling for "impulse control" and pay a $1000 fine or perform 100 hours of community service after being convicted of two counts of misdemeanor battery against two women.

Apparently he didn't learn too well, as in  2005 Mayweather pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor assault charge after kicking a bouncer, for which he received a 90 day suspended jail sentence. He's had other 'impulse control' legal cases regarding violence outside the ring since then.

Mayweather, who I'll politely call 'the artful dodger' for ducking opponents and retiring at, shall we say 'strategic times' would have in earlier years been stripped of his championship title for refusing to fight the number one ranked contender, as well as refusing to defend his title against other notable fighters, but as the so called 'boxing commissions' have become a ridiculous hodgepodge, he's been able to do as he pleases.
 
 

[z_k_g]

Rob,

You apparently don't like Mayweather, I get that.

My question is why are you spending so much time on this guy?  That I don't get.

Its obvious you did a bit of research on all of this young man's misgivings, I'm impressed.

Nice job.

But I think you left out a very important point out and what I think is MUCH MORE relevent to P-L and the readers of this forum, because at the end of the day you are comparing Pacquiao and Mayweather, right?

And this website promotes "honest and ethical behaviors" right?

You don't have a clue to what I'm talking about do you?

I'll explain, this won't take much typing either. 

Follow closely, I may lose you...

Mayweather is an immature man who can't control his temper.  He has anger management issues.  I feel sorry for the guy because if you listen to him for more that 5 minutes you can see he has pretty low self esteem. 

Kinda sad, but that's the fact.  He's extremely rich and talented but also very spoiled and unfortunately he will probably get no help for his problems.

His many arrests and legal issues are the indications of a very self destructive young man.

I predict an ensuing train wreck for the guy, he will eventually implode and destroy himself.

Now, for Pacquiao the Pious, he is a cheater and and a whore monger....end of story.
 
As one of the most out spoken advocates of high morals and values on P-L, its very interesting to me that you hold Pacquiao the Pious whore monger in such high esteem.

If any member of P-L exhibited his whore monger behavior you would quickly chastise and write a very long post to admonish the perp.

So why so quiet on Pacquiao and so loud and vociferous on Mayweather?

The End.

Zulu