Hi, there has got to be a better way.

[riley]

   Hello everybody.I am still learning to use this forum so sorry for any mistakes.

  I am new here and have been to Colombia a few times to meet women.So far I have met them online first. When I go to meet them it doesn't work out. I have a friend who is married to a Colombian lady and she seems like a great wife. I would like to meet a  woman from Colombia I am just not having any luck online. I am thinking about using an agency but I don't know if that is any better.
 
    Thanks for any answers.

[dennislevy]

Hi, tell us about yourself, maybe we can make some helpful suggestions.

[Bob_S]

If things just aren't working out, it could be you, it could be them, or it could be both.  It could be the type of girl you are picking, or maybe you just don't match the culture and/or the women.  Start by looking in the mirror.  Why do you think it doesn't work out?

[Researcher]

    Welcome to the board Riley! It would help if you could tell us some examples of what happens.If you are comfortable telling us that sort of thing we could probably be of more help.

      Researcher

[riley]

     Thanks guys. I'm in my 40's and divorced. Not recently it's been a while. I use online dating sites to meet Colombian women and get to know something about them but when I go to meet them in person it just isn't what I was expecting. They usually turn out to be different in person.That is a real turn off to me and I usually can't get past it.

     

[Jeff S]

http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?topic=6644.msg92060#msg92060

http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?topic=6658.0

[riley]

   I apologize guys but I don't see what those two threads have to do with my situation.Maybe I'm not explaining things right. I guess the real problem is I go to meet a woman and it doesn't work out. At this rate it will take forever.There has to be a better way to do this foreign dating thing than the way I am going about it.

[Researcher]

     Well, to be honest I don't see anything wrong with meeting women the way you are it's sounds to me it doesn't suit you.In the end the best way is the one that works for you.Maybe you should try setting up meetings with more than one or if you want to use an agency do your homework on them first.

         Researcher

[Bob_S]

...when I go to meet them in person it just isn't what I was expecting.

That's exceptionally vague.  But rather than spend time trying to pull it out of you, let's just say, yeah, go with an agency.  Don't make contact with anyone beforehand.  That way, you'll have nothing to expect and won't be disappointed when you meet in person.  It'll all be fresh with potential.  When the agency owner gets to know you there in person, they'll have a better idea of what type of girl will best match your personality.

[riley]

   Again I am sorry for being vague, I am new at this forum thing.OK details. One woman I met was really nice.We got along good on webcam and she was good looking. When I went to meet her she looked the same as I had seen on webcam.But I had only seen her from the waist up.How do I say it? She was one of those women who looked normal size from the waist up but was huge everywhere else. I know I shouldn't be shallow like that but it was a big turn off for me.

   I've had other things like that happen with different women.It isn't always physical appearance.Some women's personalities are different in person also.

   Is it a bad thing to ask a woman for a recent photo.A full body shot even?

 

[Researcher]

  Hey Riley, you don't have to apologize for being new here. I don't see anything wrong with asking to see a full body shot pic.After what happened to you I would definitely ask! But here is something about Colombianas:They love to have their photo taken and if they have a great figure they don't mind showing it off.So next time if you are chatting with a woman and she doesn't voluntarily show you a full body shot in the webcam or in a photo I'd say she is hiding something.

     Researcher

[AndyLee]

Yep, I always ask them to stand up in the web cam and I stand up to show them I'm normal, too. One time I asked a woman to stand up and she was only wearing panties but she was good sport about it and stood up anyway, with her hands folded demurely in her front. Very cute. We never did progress to a meeting but I did enjoy talking with her a few times on video chat.
One thing to watch for in the Colombianas is the spare tire. They all have it, some more than others. It's a roll of fat around their mid section below their belly button. I saw it so many times I thought it was genetic, but it's from the rice, beans, candy, ice cream and fried foods diet so many of them live on. They start in the morning with fried dough called bunelos, then it's the chiclets and candy all day and the empanadas and arepas and rice and beans for three meals and ice cream in the evening. Every block has an ice cream shop and a bakery and every street corner has a candy vendor.

[Bob_S]

Okay, Riley, now you're making sense.  I got ya.  Hey, you know what?  You are perfectly in your right to be picky, even about physical appearances.  That's one (but not the only) reason many of us chose to look abroad.   

As for being too large, I thought that was part of the Latin American culture.  You've heard the saying, Meat is for the man, the bone is for the dog.  The more curvy, the more sexy.  Everything starts round and just gets more round as they get older.  Asian women may start thin, but they also don't fear the effects of gravity as they get older.  To each his own.

But I gotta agree with Researcher.  If a Latina has a nice figure, she's going to want to show it off.  That seems to be a common aspect of the culture from Argentina to British Columbia.  If she doesn't already have some full body pics in her profile, that should be a first yellow flag.  She doesn't have to be dressed slutty or skimpy, but it should be enough to get an idea of what the total package looks like.  And if you ask for more photos and she refuses, you can just move on to the next one.  On a web cam, you can be tactful about it.  Ask what she is wearing and get her to show it to you.      But to be fair, you should be ready with photos of yourself as well.  Goose, gander, and all that, you know.  She'll want to know you aren't some grotesquely obese lard butt who can't dance without dragging along an oxygen tank. 

[riley]

  Thanks for the answers guys.You make alot of sense and helped me out.I will be back to participate in the forum so see you later.

   

[JWR]

You just need to meet more of them.
I'm not a big agency fan, and I have used  agencies before.  But what you learn very quickly in an agency by meeting so many girls quickly, is about what your preferences are.  By meeting so many girls, you learn alot about chemistry very quickly.  I've met very pretty girls that I just didn't have any chemistry with.  It's complicated.
I think a good approach is what I call the hybrid approach.  Use an agency for dates, and to learn about the culture and the girls.  You may get lucky.  Then while you are using the agency, you will be meeting other people down there to network with.  You can then get introduced to friends.
 
 
 
 

   Hello everybody.I am still learning to use this forum so sorry for any mistakes.

  I am new here and have been to Colombia a few times to meet women.So far I have met them online first. When I go to meet them it doesn't work out. I have a friend who is married to a Colombian lady and she seems like a great wife. I would like to meet a  woman from Colombia I am just not having any luck online. I am thinking about using an agency but I don't know if that is any better.
 
    Thanks for any answers.

[fathertime]

You just need to meet more of them.
I'm not a big agency fan, and I have used  agencies before.  But what you learn very quickly in an agency by meeting so many girls quickly, is about what your preferences are.  By meeting so many girls, you learn alot about chemistry very quickly.  I've met very pretty girls that I just didn't have any chemistry with.  It's complicated.
I think a good approach is what I call the hybrid approach.  Use an agency for dates, and to learn about the culture and the girls.  You may get lucky.  Then while you are using the agency, you will be meeting other people down there to network with.  You can then get introduced to friends.

This Hybrid approach makes a lot of sense.  You might find a good lady through the agency or through her friends, or through friends of friends.


Fathertime! 

[riley]

     Thanks guys.That sounds like a great idea.

[InnocentVixen]

Is it a bad thing to ask a woman for a recent photo.A full body shot even?

Is it just me or does this sound like our new friend Riley here is very fearful towards women? my advice would be don't be afraid to ask, just don't ask them anything unreasonable like naked pictures or something like that, it is normal you want someone attractive and at least somewhat fit, if you are using dating sites then feel free to write it on your profile, they can't hurt you.


Or you can just be a little bit sneaky, when you are using the webcam, make up an excuse so they stand up like "hey what is that on the wall behind you?, no, not that, go back and point stuff and I will tell you when you get it right" 

[JWR]

Hey they want to know what we look like too.  The girl I've been chatting with asked me to stand up and take my shirt off..  Ok, I did it no problem.  The second time she asked me one night about a month later, I said ok, but you 1st.......Of course I was joking because she chats from a cafe.

[riley]

     Thank you Innocentvixen and you are right I am a little shy but mostly I don't want to offend anyone.

     JWR I think you might be a bad influence on me. Just kidding.

[fathertime]

Hey they want to know what we look like too.  The girl I've been chatting with asked me to stand up and take my shirt off..  Ok, I did it no problem.  The second time she asked me one night about a month later, I said ok, but you 1st.......Of courseI was joking because she chats from a cafe.

To be earnest, I think it is perfect valid for both the man and the woman to stand up at some point while webcamming.  I did it and so did the ladies.  It seems totally normal to want to see the body of who you are chatting with. 


Fathertime! 

[Bob_S]

Thank you Innocentvixen and you are right I am a little shy but mostly I don't want to offend anyone.

Um, are you sure you want to be chasing Latinas?  I've been on this board for over a decade, and the guys who head to Latin America tend to be strong personalities, Type A go getters, not too afraid to bristle their porcupine quills from time to time.  They obviously match well with stereotypical fiery tempered passionate Latinas.  The shy easy-going nice guys gravitate toward Asia.  It's about finding your match in a compatible culture.
What is it about Latinas that draws you and makes you think you're a better match there?  Are you that great a salsa dancer? 

[dbmcguinness]

Hi Bob,
I have thought about Asia, but have dated a few women born in Asia, that are now living in the US and there seemed to be a humor gap between our cultures.  (It wasn't just my lame humor either, we could be watching a comedy and I would be asked why such and such was funny - despite being fluent in English).  I thought I would ask since you made other observations on the different personalities of Asians and Latinas.  Have you ever noticed this?  Any comments on a humor gap between Colombians and Americans.
Thanks

[InnocentVixen]

I don't see much of a problem of a humor gap regarding an american tv show... they are not american after all and no matter how fluent the girl is the joke sometimes refers to american pop culture like quoting a line or something that is a classic for you guys that you assume everyone will get it. No matter how many years they have been living in the US it might not be the first thing they learn, they might never learn it depending on their interests and the people that they are in contact with.


Which brings me to my next question, what is so wrong about her asking? if you are not patient enough to explain something as little as that a foreign bride might not be your cup of tea, it only takes someone to explain once and next time she will get it and you can laugh together... even in the US between americans sometimes there will happen that someone makes a joke and the other person doesn't get it, maybe it's just a bad joke or maybe they have different sense of humor.


Or you can just do what Rob does, grab the phone and call a friend/relative for a nice healthy americanized laugh about that funny tv show your wife has no interest in



Perhaps is not the country but something else they have in common? sometimes something we are attracted to is the exact reason why you are not compatible with them sadly.

[Ray]

...we could be watching a comedy and I would be asked why such and such was funny - despite being fluent in English).
 

 
Hey, that sounds like me.
 
 
If I am watching a dumb sit-com on TV and they trun on the canned laugh track, I will frequently ask...what was so funny?
 
 
That's why I almost never watch those dumb sit-coms on TV.
 
 
Maybe I'm just weird, but I could laugh my ass off watching the X-Files. No laugh track required...
 
 
Ray