Getting your wife to spend more money.

[jm21-2]

So the "spoiling your woman" thread on the latin board raised some interesting issues and I thought I would put a bit of a frugal Chinese/Taiwanese spin on the question.....


I would like to buy a couple new things, but getting my wife to agree to buy them has become somewhat of a frustrating process. for example, her laptop is partially  broken (blue screens and dies constantly) and I found a decent laptop of a brand she likes for about $400, which is cheap, but can't convince her to buy it. It's a good deal and her birthday is coming up. But if I got it as a present I think she'd feel bad because she can't afford to get me anything. If I bought it as just an everyday necessity she'd be upset because I shouldn't be be buying a new laptop for her while hers still technically works. I appreciate the fact that she is so frugal, but she spends a lot of time on her computer and I would really like to have something a bit more updated and reliable for her. But considering how she's dragging her feet on buying a heated mattress pad or blanket (it's not too cold yet) or replacing our broken teapot (the french press works OK), I am somewhat losing hope....


Life could be far worse but any tips on how to get her a couple things would be appreciated. Worried she would make me take the stuff back to the store if I bought it for her as a surprise.

[fathertime]

Jim,  I think you need to tell her something like this.


  “Look, your computer doesn’t work, here is a new one.  I don’t care what it costs I’m not letting MY wife have to use a broken computer”! 

“Look, I have bought this heated mattress, because MY wife is not going to be cold at night” 




Tell her this is not about her, it is about YOU and the fact that you are a man are going to take care of your woman.  Be determined about it and don't take no for an answer.


Fathertime! 

[Bill_McC]

Because you are my wife, I love you, and I wanted you to have it.


Bill

[Tanuki]

Because you are my wife, I love you, and a wanted you to have it.


Bill

I like Bill's spin. 
 
On my trip to Philippines; it rained quite bit while I was there and realizing their aversion to rain, I bought an umbrella.  Michelle took on the roll of driving a hard bargin to get it and was very happy in the fact that she saved me some money.  Anyway, that umbrella didn't last long.  A big wind caught it and folded that thing over like a wet rag.  I told her lets throw that away and get another because it is pretty much useless.  She wouldn't let me pitch it.  She told me she was going to fix because I spent money on it. She was dead set she was going to keep that umbrella.  It stopped raining so, I dropped the subject.
 
Next day we are walking in the Manila zoo and, it starts to rain.  She proceeds to break out that busted umbrella.  When she opens it, it looks totally sick.  Wires all bent and the darn thing won't extend all the way on one side.  No more than two feet from us is a guy selling umbrellas.  Again, I say throw that thing away, I'll get a new one.  Nope.  She is not having noting to do with it.  So, we walk.  Pretty soon she has to use the bathroom.  She tells me to hold the umbrella while she goes in.  When she is inside, I eighty six that umbrella and run back to that guy to buy a new one.  As she comes out, of course she notices the new umbrella.  She asks me where is the other.  When I point to the trash can she looks all sad and says she would have fixed it.
 
I just told her that if people see me standing next to you and that crappy umbrella, they are going to think I am the meanest or cheapest a$$hole on the planet.  I tell her I could just imagine what they are saying as we pass; "Look at that poor girl.  That a$$hat can't even break open his wallet to at least buy her an umbrella?!?"  And then, I ask her; "Do you want people to think I am a bad guy?"  Of course she tells me I am not (a bad guy) and accepts the new umbrella.
 
You can either go with the; "I did it out of love" or the "I feel guilty."  I think FT's and Bill's, "I did out of love" route is the best.
 
 

[whitey]

Buy her a new laptop for her birthday, and just before her birthday, disable the one she has so it now longer works.

Then she'll have no choice but to accept it. 

[Ray]

 
A valid question jm…
　
I have said this I don’t know how many times, but let me try just once more.
　
If you guys are going to be on a monthly budget, and being the frugal beings that you both obviously are, then allow for a modest sum each month for both of you to do with as you please with no questions asked.
 
Each of you can spend your monthly allotment on beer, lottery tickets, give it to the homeless bum down on the corner, but a birthday gift, flush it down the toilet, put it in a savings account, mail it to piglett, save up for a sail boat, or whatever the hell trips your trigger.
　
I think trying to justify to each other every single purchase is nothing more than an exercise in futility.
　
So save up your monthly allotment for a couple of months and buy her a damn laptop!
　
If she doesn’t like it, she can trade it in for a plane ticket home… jk! 
　
Ray
　 

[fathertime]

Man o man, Ray that is really a good idea actually!


Fathertime! 

[Researcher]

Buy her a new laptop for her birthday, and just before her birthday, disable the one she has so it now longer works.

Then she'll have no choice but to accept it. 

       If the wifey is a real tightwad this is the only solution really.We Americans are accustomed to shuffling money around to justify spending. The only way some people can justify spending money is out of necessity.

         Researcher

[Jhengsman]

I like Bill's spin. 
 
On my trip to Philippines; it rained quite bit while I was there and realizing their aversion to rain, I bought an umbrella.  Michelle took on the roll of driving a hard bargin to get it and was very happy in the fact that she saved me some money.  Anyway, that umbrella didn't last long.  A big wind caught it and folded that thing over like a wet rag.  I told her lets throw that away and get another because it is pretty much useless.  She wouldn't let me pitch it.  She told me she was going to fix because I spent money on it. She was dead set she was going to keep that umbrella.  It stopped raining so, I dropped the subject........
 

Part of the mindset is that labor cost for repair in the Philippines is relatively cheap. I go through this with my wife and my mother who is set in her ways from the past generations in America. Most of the time it is cheaper to replace with an upgrade then to pay just the labor cost of someone willing to try a jury rigged fix, but they don't know that and think they are being practical and down to earth....All those tributes many attribute for their reasons of seeking a Filipina specifically.

[piglett]

Jim,  I think you need to tell her something like this.


  “Look, your computer doesn’t work, here is a new one.  I don’t care what it costs I’m not letting MY wife have to use a broken computer”! 

“Look, I have bought this heated mattress, because MY wife is not going to be cold at night” 




Tell her this is not about her, it is about YOU and the fact that you are a man are going to take care of your woman.  Be determined about it and don't take no for an answer.


Fathertime!

+1
 
i feel your pain Jm i too married a cheep Asain woman
 
pig
 

[piglett]

 
Each of you can spend your monthly allotment on beer, lottery tickets, give it to the homeless bum down on the corner, but a birthday gift, flush it down the toilet, put it in a savings account, mail it to piglett, save up for a sail boat, or whatever the hell trips your trigger.
Ray

ya ya that's it, send it to new hampshire 
 
good thinking Ray !!!!!

[Bob_S]

If you are willing to get sneaky about it, you could try this.

You find an ad for the item at store A for $400.  You find an ad for the same product at store B for $500.  For now, forget you ever saw the ad for store A.  Take the ad for store B to your missus and say "We need to get this item for you, and this store is advertising it for $500.  We'll hold off for now and see if it goes on sale.  In the mean time, if you find it cheaper any place else, please let me know as soon as possible."  That makes her part of the project.  She on her own finds the ad for store A and shows it to you.  You say "That's great, sweetie!  You just saved me $100!"  And all is well.

[jm21-2]

For some small items I don't mind just buying it...if she hasn't picked between the 2 or so available brands of heated mattress pads by October I'll just order one....otherwise she will spend weeks if not months comparing the virtues of one brand vs. another, poring over consumer reviews, checking the ratings given by different websites, etc....and then it will be December and we are dealing with a $300 electric bill because she wanted to run the heater all the time.


But the laptop is a bit tricky. It's a more expensive item and she was a software engineer at one of the biggest laptop manufacturers. She knows a lot more about it than I do so just going out and buying something is a little risky. I've finally ferreted out which ODM she most respects, which OEM to buy from, which processor she prefers, etc., now though so I think I'm probably good there.


I was thinking about another way to do thigns driving home from work yesterday....our birthdays are very close together and my family was going to have some sort of party for us....I was thinking I might slip a couple hundred from my business account to my parents and have them buy her the laptop. Then she can't really complain about me spending money on her, gets them to get along a better, etc....maybe killing two birds with one stone...she was kind of mopey about having a party with my family but she can't visit hers, and maybe they won't even give her a gift, etc...