Joint Or Separate Checking Accounts After Marriage?

[robert angel]

Anybody else find ongoing comments about other guy's genitalia, breeding out references to women in general and even towards guys a little strange?

Sure they're usually followed a post or two later with a comment like 'I was just fooling around' or 'it is just a little offensive humor' --or 'if you don't like it, don't read it or go somewhere else--you're just going to have to sit through it uncomfortably'--as if that makes it all cool and perfectly acceptable.

I think most of us have made some dicey comments here and there, myself included (yes, boys will be boys) and there have been loads of double entendres all around, but when this sort of stuff becomes pretty much an ongoing thing, it makes you wonder about the posters mental health.....

[fathertime]

Anybody else find ongoing comments about other guy's genitalia, breeding out references to women in general and even towards guys a little strange?

Sure they're usually followed a post or two later with a comment like 'I was just fooling around' or 'it is just a little offensive humor' --or 'if you don't like it, don't read it or go somewhere else--you're just going to have to sit through it uncomfortably'--as if that makes it all cool and perfectly acceptable.

I think most of us have made some dicey comments here and there, myself included (yes, boys will be boys) and there have been loads of double entendres all around, but when this sort of stuff becomes pretty much an ongoing thing, it makes you wonder about the posters mental health.....

You are free to stay up nights wondering all about my mental health!  Some would say it is a little ignorant for a guy to write an off-topic sonnet with every 3rd post, but it is all good, who really gives a poop! jajaja
Keep trying old boy! 


Fathertime! 

[Ray]

OK Ray, You got me. You are right. I will be more clear in my future posts to avoid any further confusion.

Sorry for calling you a jackass.

The point is that a couple of you guys erroneously thought that my plan is to try to control my wife to the extent that she will not have any access to funds to spend as she pleases. And I have explained in detail how that is not the case. But that I want the least amount of cash floating around...in both of our hands....because times are tough and we need to know where the money is going.

As I said, if you read only that one sentence out of all the posts I have made in this thread, I can see how you got that idea. But I explained everything over and over again to eliminate any confusion. But I should have made the original statements clearer in case someone does not read the rest of the post or following posts. I'll do better in the future.

No problem AB. I have been called a lot worse on this forum... LOL!
 
Actually. I didn't have any problem with your financial plan overall. Just thought it was strange to need to track every single expenditure.
 
My wife and I each get a modest amount of cash each month to do with as we please, with nobody tracking it. No, we don't call it an "allowance", but simply "pocket money".
 
If we blow it on Lotto tickets, give it away to a homeless bum, save up for some desired purchase, or whatever, there are never any questions asked.
 
The "pocket money" allotment comes out of the monthly budget just like the utility bills, insurance premiums, groceries, etc... Any other major purchases we discuss together.
 
Anyway, whatever works for each couple is fine with me. 
 
Question: How could your wife buy you a surprise gift for your birthday or Christmas without you seeing the purchase on the debit or charge account?
 
Ray
 
 

[Alabamaboy!]

Question: How could your wife buy you a surprise gift for your birthday or Christmas without you seeing the purchase on the debit or charge account?

She is pretty modest, so I could see her buying me maybe a shirt, some cologne, something like that under $100. And if there was a charge for $100 from Macy's or Dillards I would just assume she got herself something (which is completely fine and normal) and when she showed me the gift, I would be really surprised. Or she could even take out the money in cash from an ATM. It is not like I am going to be checking the account every day or week. I am hard pressed to check it every month or more. So if she said she took out $100 for the swapmeet but then went to go buy me something special, no big deal.

The problems would only start if I am seeing 2-3 $200 cash withdrawals every month.

At least that is the way I am going to do things when I am buying her gifts. The days of the big expensive gifts are long gone. The cash is getting tighter and tighter all the time. We have a goal of traveling to Colombia at least once a year, so we are on the same page to try to save for that to make it reality. Otherwise we are going to live pretty modestly.

Thank God I have the right gal for that kind of lifestyle. The ex fiancee from BAQ would have put us in the poorhouse within a year.

[Jeff S]

It's good that you are laying the plans out and thinking things through now. Time will tell. Good intentions are always that, good intentions. It's how things play out that matters. My wife can adapt extremely well to changing financial conditions. This from a girl who grew up in a quite wealthy family where money and the good life was never an issue.

[benjio]

Thank God I have the right gal for that kind of lifestyle. The ex fiancee from BAQ would have put us in the poorhouse within a year.

You reeeaaaally gotta show me some pictures of your ex one day Bama. She must have really been a stunner with the way you talk about how she behaved. Plus it's only fair, you've seen a picture of mine. 

[Alabamaboy!]

You reeeaaaally gotta show me some pictures of your ex one day Bama. She must have really been a stunner with the way you talk about how she behaved. Plus it's only fair, you've seen a picture of mine. 

For my tastes, she was exactly what I love physically and sexually. I don't think I could have added anything else to my wish list in that regards. Better than what I had ever hoped to even see, let alone meet or have a long passionate relationship with. But the personality was just not there. Not for marrying or even a day to day live in relationship. I think the longest I was there was about 35 days with her on a daily basis and by the end of that period of time I was thinking "I can't believe this, but I am getting sick of this lady". Like what Halle Berry's ex must have been thinking before he divorced her. To a regular guy looking from the outside they might be thinking they could handle any kind of personality if they could have a knockout super sexual wife. But after awhile the major personality flaws becomes more and more evident.  And no amount of good looks is going to make a guy want to put up with that.

To my wife....if you ever see this message, you are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hotter and beautiful than she was BB!!!!!