The Fertile Latina Will Soon Be A Product of Another Time!

[Traveler]

I would certainly prefer a woman whose priority in life is having children and her family in general.  The main reason I am attracted to Latin women is that this is strongly encouraged by their culture. 
 
I like when a woman is hard working and intelligent.  A man must be able to support a family, but life is unpredictable, and the woman must be able to work if necessary. The difference is that while a woman must be hard working and have skills, career should never become a priority in a woman's life.  I dislike women who are ambitious in their careers, and whose life is built around achieving professional success and amassing property.  I respect them for having achieved something in life, but I would not consider them for marriage.
 
I would say this.  If I were to ask a woman what she wants in her future, and she answers first that she wants to become a manager of something or to have a lot of money instead of saying that she wants to have a happy family and children, it would be a definite deal breaker.

[Alabamaboy!]

I would say this.  If I were to ask a woman what she wants in her future, and she answers first that she wants to become a manager of something or to have a lot of money instead of saying that she wants to have a happy family and children, it would be a definite deal breaker.   

Amen!

[bcc_1_2]

I don't know exactly how the downturn in the economy has hurt Brazil, but their economy has been on the rise. Education and career opportunities are a good thing and with that the birth rate will fall (which is a good thing too). We need to be able to sustain our population.

As I've said in the past it is important to look for women that speak at least some English, have a decent education, and come from at least a middle class background. They have to be able to transition to the USA (or Western Europe).

If anything more guys in the states need to take their education seriously... get a BA and keep going for a masters so you can compete in the job market.

[fathertime]

Haha "breeding your latina" reminds me of those times in online dating sites when guys would tell me they were interested in having their own little football team, I of course would wish them the best and run for the hills!!


Planificacion familiar is given at school, but yes before that the place was full of signs and you could hear about it everywhere, those things were done because they were trying to reach all kinds of people, including uneducated people, the country has made big efforts over the years so even indigenous tribes that live far away get at least basic education, long gone are the days were they welcomed a big family thinking of how much easier it would be to work at the fields or that they would not be punished by god for thinking ahead.


In fact there was a tradition here in Mexico that the youngest daughter was not to get married but to take care of her parents in their old days, that was the kind of mentality I guess, why hire a nurse if you can make one


There are still big families of course, but that is a personal choice, one thing that I've noticed though is that only childs are very rare and married couples are usually considered very solid after the second child is born, I have not noticed the priorities have changed that much, women still seem to put family first but now they actually sit down and think the kind of life you can provide for them, why struggle with 10 kids when you could give them such a better life if you stopped at 3?



Like KB mentioned, being a career woman doesn't mean she will not care for her family or not want to have kids, even the most liberal women I know still yearn to find someone and have a family someday regardless if they want to keep their job or not.


So if you are one of those guys that want to have tons of kids, just look for one that feels the same, shouldn't be that hard to find or to convince her that 4 kids is better than 3, this is a recurring joke with my boyfriend, he already has a little one so when he says he wants 2 so I tell him that means I would only have one and that would be his 2nd child... he adds "well yes, one and the oopsie"

hehe IV, I like to throw that "breeding the latina" phrase out there because I know it is a little silly, so please don't take offense!  I'm just joking around.

[fathertime]

I would certainly prefer a woman whose priority in life is having children and her family in general.  The main reason I am attracted to Latin women is that this is strongly encouraged by their culture. 
 
I like when a woman is hard working and intelligent.  A man must be able to support a family, but life is unpredictable, and the woman must be able to work if necessary. The difference is that while a woman must be hard working and have skills, career should never become a priority in a woman's life.  I dislike women who are ambitious in their careers, and whose life is built around achieving professional success and amassing property.  I respect them for having achieved something in life, but I would not consider them for marriage.
 
I would say this.  If I were to ask a woman what she wants in her future, and she answers first that she wants to become a manager of something or to have a lot of money instead of saying that she wants to have a happy family and children, it would be a definite deal breaker.

I agree and stand behind your post 4-square Traveler! 
I think there are more and more latinas that are interested in career over family and that might surprise many posters who are relatively new to this. 
From what I've gathered, PI may have a higher % of ladies that still want to make family/home/children the number 1 priority.  I'm basing that on reading without any real experience over there, so if I'm mistaken somebody feel free to correct me. 


Fathertime! 

[Colgando]

I would certainly prefer a woman whose priority in life is having children and her family in general.  The main reason I am attracted to Latin women is that this is strongly encouraged by their culture. 
 
I like when a woman is hard working and intelligent.  A man must be able to support a family, but life is unpredictable, and the woman must be able to work if necessary. The difference is that while a woman must be hard working and have skills, career should never become a priority in a woman's life.  I dislike women who are ambitious in their careers, and whose life is built around achieving professional success and amassing property.  I respect them for having achieved something in life, but I would not consider them for marriage.
 
I would say this.  If I were to ask a woman what she wants in her future, and she answers first that she wants to become a manager of something or to have a lot of money instead of saying that she wants to have a happy family and children, it would be a definite deal breaker.

I agree 100% Trav. When I read your post, I asked my novia the question again to be sure, what are her priorities in life, what does she think about the most. And the family feud answers are, 1. Having kids, 2. Me and her family, 3. Career and other things.

[JimD]

Sure, eventually. But that would not be at the top of the list of importance I hope. She has been living almost one entire year now taking 5 day/week English classes which should be sufficient now after almost 2 years of supposedly studying with computers, private lessons, books, etc. even before the classes at Colombo. So at this time I think it is time for her to start being a wife and mother and not so much a schoolgirl. I would not be a happy camper building my schedule around transporting my wife to her classes or coming home from work while she goes to her study group or something. This is 2011 and she should be able to get a good amount of studying online for now, then we can work on community college, driving lessons, etc.

After she starts contributing a bit to become part of the household and family then we can start to have that discussion. But for the first year or so, I think it will not be a priority.

Ok thanks for your thorough reply. It sounds like the answer is "no it would not be cool" for the first year at least. Good enough. I´m wondering though wouldn´t it be better to get that out of the way before you have a kid with her? You´ve mentioned that she is young and from a poor barrio and most of them for sure want (their own) kids so it´s assumed that´s part of the deal she gets. I can imagine your schedule being a lot more compromised if you have to worry about getting her  to class and the kid to a day care center.

[Traveler]

As I've said in the past it is important to look for women that speak at least some English, have a decent education, and come from at least a middle class background. They have to be able to transition to the USA (or Western Europe).

Everyone is looking for different things.  It seems to me you are looking for basically a Western woman in a body of a Latina.  That's fine if that's who you are looking for.
 
I can't say that the attributes that you are listing here are not important, but I would not consider them as deal breakers.  Wealthy girls often - not always, but often - are either very high maintenance princesses or career women.  Basically, they are used to a certain lifestyle, and are obsessed with replicating it.  Not always, but usually, at least in my experience.
 
English is obviously a great asset, but I don't see why she can't learn it once she is here.  Learning language for anybody under 40 is easy as long as she is motivated.  If she already knows it - great!  If not, give her a year tops, and she will speak well enough to hold a job and hold a conversation with the in-laws.

[braziliangirl]

I would certainly prefer a woman whose priority in life is having children and her family in general.  The main reason I am attracted to Latin women is that this is strongly encouraged by their culture. 
 
I like when a woman is hard working and intelligent.  A man must be able to support a family, but life is unpredictable, and the woman must be able to work if necessary. The difference is that while a woman must be hard working and have skills, career should never become a priority in a woman's life.  I dislike women who are ambitious in their careers, and whose life is built around achieving professional success and amassing property.  I respect them for having achieved something in life, but I would not consider them for marriage.
 
I would say this.  If I were to ask a woman what she wants in her future, and she answers first that she wants to become a manager of something or to have a lot of money instead of saying that she wants to have a happy family and children, it would be a definite deal breaker.

You sound pretty balanced, Traveler! That's great. Unfortunately, I don't think that's how Brazilians guys think. The main reason why I chose to look outside of my country was that I didn't want to marry a guy that would make me work more and more just so he could have a certain lifestyle. I want someone that understand what it is to be a good provider, and gender roles in general. I am lucky to have a good job, but I've never put it first. Even on job interviews, when people asked me what do I want for my future, I answer that I want to have a family and take care of it. Everything else is secondary. Once I said that to a psychologist and she said I was depressed, why didn't I have a dream? I said, I do! It is to have a family!

But some guys here don't understand that a woman can be educated, have a good job, speak english and yet be a good mother and wife.

I know that if I find someone that wants to form a family with me, I will have to leave everything behind. I'm pretty sure my education and work experience won't meant much in another country, so I don't know if working is a good option, since I would end up on a low paying job, that would not even be enough to pay the nanny. But, for the dream of being a wife and a mother, I would do that.

[braziliangirl]

I can't say that the attributes that you are listing here are not important, but I would not consider them as deal breakers.  (...)
 
English is obviously a great asset, but I don't see why she can't learn it once she is here.  Learning language for anybody under 40 is easy as long as she is motivated.  If she already knows it - great!  If not, give her a year tops, and she will speak well enough to hold a job and hold a conversation with the in-laws.

Once again I agree. What annoys me is that some guys actually consider those attributes deal breakers in the opposite way. A guy on this forum once said that speaking english was a major red flag.

[Alabamaboy!]

Ok thanks for your thorough reply. It sounds like the answer is "no it would not be cool" for the first year at least. Good enough. I´m wondering though wouldn´t it be better to get that out of the way before you have a kid with her? You´ve mentioned that she is young and from a poor barrio and most of them for sure want (their own) kids so it´s assumed that´s part of the deal she gets. I can imagine your schedule being a lot more compromised if you have to worry about getting her  to class and the kid to a day care center.

You are right, she does want to have a kid relatively soon. I would actually like to get that out of the way first because I am thinking that as soon as that happens she will be able to "see" things a little more clearly and will mature very quickly. That is what happened to me and other people I know, like flipping a light switch. When you have a baby, then you start to see things in a different light.

I am hoping that she will get out of "schoolgirl mode" as soon as possible. I really don't think it is necessary. My Spanish is pretty good and I have never taken a class. There are so many things online that teach so much more efficiently that I never even needed the classes. And I did not have the time to do it anyway.

I want to have a wife who is in the relationship 50/50 or at very least 40(her)/60(me) at the most in regards to "doing" things for the good of the relationship and family. And so far the relationship has been more like 10/90. So I am hoping that the relationship will become a little more balanced very soon.

But she is super lovable, loyal, and we spend lots of incredible times together. My kids can't wait until she gets here again. And her too. She is dying to be reunited with me and the kids as soon as possible. So I hope they spend as much time together as possible bonding and doing fun things like a regular family. I don't think any of my son's friends have moms who are going to the community college at this time.

A good example of what I do not want to happen is like what happened with my ex wife. She went to the community college for more than two years taking Spanish classes with native speaking instructors, and after all that cannot even speak the most basic Spanish phrases. So in the end, was pretty much a complete waste of time.

 

[Alabamaboy!]

Braziliangirl, your attitude is very refreshing. Just like IV. You ladies are great and I wish you both the best of luck with everything. I am glad that our top two female members here are  so articulate and get along with us crazy guys here so well.

[Colgando]

Braziliangirl, your attitude is very refreshing. Just like IV. You ladies are great and I wish you both the best of luck with everything. I am glad that our top two female members here are  so articulate and get along with us crazy guys here so well.

I second that

[whitey]

Me too ... women like Braziliangirl and InnocentVixen are the reason why we are are searching for wives in latin america.

I think you ladies are excellent examples of the type of women that are possible to attain ... women that are almost impossible to find here in our countries.  And for those guys that have had either the misfortune or bad judgement to chase the wrong types of women in latin america ... here is what you should be looking for!

 

[fathertime]

I second that

i third that!


Now if you start running your prospective men by us here on the forum, we can probably let you know pretty close to what is running through his head....this forum should be of great use for the both of you!  Hopefully you will both choose well!


Fathertime!

[fathertime]

Hey AB!

I'd consider sticking your babe in a little English class shortly after she gets here.  Just something that goes a couple nights a week for a couple hours.   I realize the error of not being more proactive with that to start out.  It is not a jumbo mistake if you don't, but why not use the little time it takes? 
 As JimD mentioned, it becomes a little more difficult after the additional child is needing motherly care. 
Fathertime! 

[Alabamaboy!]

The community college here is about 10 miles away and with the situation with the business, kids, and everything else this is not really that high on the list of priorities. At least not at first. We all want to just enjoy each other's company and chill out. It has been a very stressful couple years for everyone.

Frankly we are both sick and tired of all this English baloney. It has held the whole relationship hostage and has sucked a huge amount of time out of the relationship. It can be revisited at a later date once we have gotten re-aquainted again. She has been studying her butt off for almost a year straight at this time, so she is due for a bit of a break.

[Alabamaboy!]

i third that!


Now if you start running your prospective men by us here on the forum, we can probably let you know pretty close to what is running through his head....this forum should be of great use for the both of you!  Hopefully you will both choose well!


Fathertime!

That is why we decided to pay for the intensive classes now in Barranquilla. So when we are re-united we will not be wasting too much time with this sort of thing.

[fathertime]

The community college here is about 10 miles away and with the situation with the business, kids, and everything else this is not really that high on the list of priorities. At least not at first. We all want to just enjoy each other's company and chill out. It has been a very stressful couple years for everyone.

Frankly we are both sick and tired of all this English baloney. It has held the whole relationship hostage and has sucked a huge amount of time out of the relationship. It can be revisited at a later date once we have gotten re-aquainted again. She has been studying her butt off for almost a year straight at this time, so she is due for a bit of a break.

hehe AB!  I hear ya, just wanted to put a spur in your saddle and see if I could move you off your position!   


Fathertime!

[michaelb]

Yes, BG, I think your translation is better than the Google one. Yours says "A small family lives better".....the Google one actually says "To small family a better life". I can't speak nor write Portuguese, but it's close enough to Spanish that I almost always can read it and understand (most of it, anyway) when spoken.

So your guy is going down to visit you? Well that's great, I hope things go very well for both of you. I'm sure you'll let us know.
 

[bcc_1_2]

Everyone is looking for different things.  It seems to me you are looking for basically a Western woman in a body of a Latina.  That's fine if that's who you are looking for.
 
I can't say that the attributes that you are listing here are not important, but I would not consider them as deal breakers.  Wealthy girls often - not always, but often - are either very high maintenance princesses or career women.  Basically, they are used to a certain lifestyle, and are obsessed with replicating it.  Not always, but usually, at least in my experience.
 
English is obviously a great asset, but I don't see why she can't learn it once she is here.  Learning language for anybody under 40 is easy as long as she is motivated.  If she already knows it - great!  If not, give her a year tops, and she will speak well enough to hold a job and hold a conversation with the in-laws.

Well I'm not looking for anything. And when I say middle class I mean middle class by her country's standards. There is an enormous difference from middle class in Honduras and middle class in the USA.

Especially if she is moving to someplace other than Texas or southern Florida she will need to converse in English because you just can't get by on anything else (especially in the Midwest).

Women my age and younger grew up in a much smaller world due to the internet and should know at least a little English.

Some women don't know English and either don't want to learn or just have trouble with it. That would make her life in the Midwest impossible.

Plus in my experience if she hasn't at least started college the conversations are a little boring and she is just too much of a simpleton.

The question becomes do you just want something nice to look at or intelligent conversation as well.

[Traveler]

Hey, bcc,
 
I have some family in the Midwest, and if you live there the girl will definitely need to learn English.  In Cleveland the last time I checked there is not even a Spanish radio station.  And when my relatives from there visited Miami they were in a massive culture shock  .  I understand what you are saying, but if she does move there she will learn English quite quickly simply because she will have to.  It will be stressful, but if a woman is motivated it should not be a problem.  Having said that, there is nothing wrong with a head start.
 
Regarding your opinions on education, I do agree that generally your observations hold true.  Not always, but more often than not.  On the middle class issue, again I am not familiar with Honduras and what constitutes middle class there.  In Colombia most people middle class and higher have a live in made/ nanny for example.  And the ones who come from a more wealthy background are accustomed to living at the top of the social food chain so to speak.  If she moves here and loses her lifestyle and social status she might feel like it was a step down, and for people in Latin America their social status is very important, as in their self-esteem is tied to it. 

[bcc_1_2]

Hey, bcc,
 
I have some family in the Midwest, and if you live there the girl will definitely need to learn English.  In Cleveland the last time I checked there is not even a Spanish radio station.  And when my relatives from there visited Miami they were in a massive culture shock  .  I understand what you are saying, but if she does move there she will learn English quite quickly simply because she will have to.  It will be stressful, but if a woman is motivated it should not be a problem.  Having said that, there is nothing wrong with a head start.
 
Regarding your opinions on education, I do agree that generally your observations hold true.  Not always, but more often than not.  On the middle class issue, again I am not familiar with Honduras and what constitutes middle class there.  In Colombia most people middle class and higher have a live in made/ nanny for example.  And the ones who come from a more wealthy background are accustomed to living at the top of the social food chain so to speak.  If she moves here and loses her lifestyle and social status she might feel like it was a step down, and for people in Latin America their social status is very important, as in their self-esteem is tied to it.

First, regarding English I would certainly hope she'll learn the language once in the USA, but the more important question is (especially if she is 22 to 30) why she doesn't know any. It suggests she didn't have computer access and/or wasn't paying any attention at all in school.

In Colombia labor is cheap and products (electronics, appliances, etc) are expensive which explains the maid culture. My point is you are looking for a life partner that can be your other half in the United States. Especially as a young professional she may not have a maid (unless she is still living at home which is fine...even good really), but she should have a decent job.

With all these time and financial constraints guys comment on so frequently if she doesn't know at least a little English and meets a minimal education/professional requirement just move on down the list (unless you yourself are fluent, because there are tons of fish in the sea). 

And for all these guys saying they want someone to stay at home with the kids... that's all good but I'd still only date employed women. Personally, I'm all for women working... especially if it is a mom's hours situation while the kids are in school. If she doesn't work at all and your relationship doesn't work out (divorce can clearly happen to anyone)... the alimony would be a total bitch with her not having worked at all.

[Traveler]

First, regarding English I would certainly hope she'll learn the language once in the USA, but the more important question is (especially if she is 22 to 30) why she doesn't know any. It suggests she didn't have computer access and/or wasn't paying any attention at all in school.

 
Not necessarily.  Knowing a language requires practice, preferably with a native speaker.  Most of the girls in Latin America don't have opportunity to practice, even if they really want to learn.  I came to US  when I was a teenager, didn't know any, and after a year was fluent.  Multitudes of people go through the same experience.  Learning a language (given motivation of course) is not some kind of an impossible feat. 
 
As for paying attention in school, a lot of high school and college students in US take Spanish as an obligatory foreign language, and how many of them actually can speak it?  In my experience, very few.  It's the same with English in South America.  My low priority on this issue is also because I am fluent in Spanish and live in Miami, so in my situation no English ability is not a big deal.  I understand that your situation is different.
 

And for all these guys saying they want someone to stay at home with the kids... that's all good but I'd still only date employed women. Personally, I'm all for women working... especially if it is a mom's hours situation while the kids are in school. If she doesn't work at all and your relationship doesn't work out (divorce can clearly happen to anyone)... the alimony would be a total bitch with her not having worked at all.

That's a very valid observation, but it's not a given based on my second hand experience.  I have a couple of friends whose wives were employed, and they were still taken to the cleaners.  There are a lot of variables in this, and a good prenup should help as well I am sure.  This is not an area of my expertise though  .

[bcc_1_2]

Not necessarily.  Knowing a language requires practice, preferably with a native speaker.  Most of the girls in Latin America don't have opportunity to practice, even if they really want to learn.  I came to US  when I was a teenager, didn't know any, and after a year was fluent.  Multitudes of people go through the same experience.  Learning a language (given motivation of course) is not some kind of an impossible feat. 
 

Depending on how intelligent you are. If you are poor and don't have access to a decent education it makes it harder.

The point is I had no problem finding women around my age that spoke at least a little bit of English. I did take two semesters in high school of Spanish like you mentioned and that does help.

And you are right there are a lot of variables. But if time and money are factors it sure helps to just filter out any women that don't speak a little English and don't have an education/job. I also filtered out any women with kids. Still you run into a large pool.... just be a guest speaker at an English class. Go to the mall...

But when you are in town for 10 to 14 days at a time you are best with a lot of filters which saves lots of time.

If you have unlimited time in Colombia or wherever then have at it.