Father time's time table (09-08- 11-10) Incredible!

[opusone]

I was just looking at the time table posted for Father time's 1st introduction ,to the time his child was born. This is incredible warp speed and quite a feat! What do you guys think are the percentages of pulling that off? I know each situation is different but talk about not wasting time! I would love to hear what his approach was because I really like those dates. Congrats!


Opus

[Jeff S]

Are you in a hurry to beat a deadline?

[opusone]

I think the question was "what do you guys think the percentages of pulling that off"is.  No hurry

[Colgando]

I think the percentages are low for most men to pull this off, the way FT did. It is not impossible, evidenced by FT's experience, but I think a lot of guys will lack the judgement, not know what they really want, not have the experience to make the right call, not be able to take a pass on a woman if there are red flags, not be marriage material themselves etc. to make that work.


But once a person is engaged, the time frame is probably pretty normal to bring the fiance to the US, marry her and get pregnant. I think FT was engaged after 2 or 3 months or so, which is the warp speed part, IMO.

[opusone]

I think the percentages are low for most men to pull this off, the way FT did. It is not impossible, evidenced by FT's experience, but I think a lot of guys will lack the judgement, not know what they really want, not have the experience to make the right call, not be able to take a pass on a woman if there are red flags, not be marriage material themselves etc. to make that work.


But once a person is engaged, the time frame is probably pretty normal to bring the fiance to the US, marry her and get pregnant. I think FT was engaged after 2 or 3 months or so, which is the warp speed part, IMO.

That's the part that had me going...... .. I  would love to hear how he did that.

[InnocentVixen]

I think a guy that knows what he wants and keeps good focus on his goal shouldn't take that long to find what he is looking for, specially if he is looking in the right place!! now closing the deal is a different story all together, fathertime took the risk and it payed of quite nicely, others prefer to take things slow, as long as you don't end up in extremes (marrying a complete stranger or making the poor girl wait for years) whatever you are comfortable with is the best option, waiting too long or too little will not give you a bigger chance of ending up with a good life-lasting marriage, some common sense and a good attitude might.

[Colgando]

That's the part that had me going...... .. I  would love to hear how he did that.

Yeah man, I have read FT's stuff, and he was on the prowl for a while, made multiple trips SOTB, came back empty handed more than once, spent more than a couple of years looking. He finally found his Morena Queen, started chatting and he went all in and felt comfortable doing it and felt he found the right one for him.

[Researcher]

    I think FatherTime also had some good experienced guys that he listened to as well as Jamie.He also was at this a while and I'm sure soaked up the experience of those that had gone before him.I also had some experienced guys that I listened to and it helped me alot.


       Researcher

[no comment]

FT brought over a fiance & I brought over a wife.  His process went faster than mine and it probably had much to do with the fact that he used an immigration attorney to expedite it and prepare him for each step ahead of time.

[fathertime]

I enjoyed colombia for a few years before I found the lady I wanted to take the big risk with.  I don’t mind taking risks, so to me this was fairly normal.  I know others would prefer to take more time so that is good for them, but I didn’t want to do things that way.  I read about quite a few people that wasted years with a woman that they never brought here and I didn’t want to be one of those guys.  I choose a very young and beautiful lady so it was high risk in that respect too, but if I was going to go nowhere with her it was going to be nowhere fast!  Part of my theory is, why ‘eff’ around, get the lady living with you and make your judgements about the compatibility at that point!
Well so far so good, but it isn’t easy, and I’ve learned a lot by living with my babe for 2 years now.    Go as fast or slow as you are comfy with!




Fathertime!

[JimD]

I would love to hear what his approach was...

It sounds like his approach was to get her pregnant fast. And that may not be a bad idea if you want to guarentee that a woman will stay with you in the US. After all in Colombia the guy often dumps the chica when she´s pregnant (how many single girls with a kid do you see at agencies?) not the other way around. It´s one thing for a woman to up and leave her gringo husband and head for friends/family in Miami if she´s fancy free but quite another if she has a kid in tow. Pretty unlikely I would say even if the relationship isn´t so hot.

[euforia51]

It sounds like his approach was to get her pregnant fast. And that may not be a bad idea if you want to guarentee that a woman will stay with you in the US. After all in Colombia the guy often dumps the chica when she´s pregnant (how many single girls with a kid do you see at agencies?) not the other way around. It´s one thing for a woman to up and leave her gringo husband and head for friends/family in Miami if she´s fancy free but quite another if she has a kid in tow. Pretty unlikely I would say even if the relationship isn´t so hot.

I'd say that's bordering along the lines of an insult. Whether or not he wanted to have a kid right away after finding his bride is of no consequence or benefit. The fact is he did it and protrays a happy persona. Onward...
 
How many girls do you see at agencies in Colombia with a kid in tow? That's a good question. But I would guess that number might rival the number of divorcees with children who list themselves on dating sites here in the States. Although I don't see it myself after finding my childless and tattooless novia in Medellin. What a breath of fresh air that was. And what's more ... she has at least three very pretty cousins that I know of  who are childless and also a blank canvas.

[fathertime]

It sounds like his approach was to get her pregnant fast. And that may not be a bad idea if you want to guarentee that a woman will stay with you in the US. After all in Colombia the guy often dumps the chica when she´s pregnant (how many single girls with a kid do you see at agencies?) not the other way around. It´s one thing for a woman to up and leave her gringo husband and head for friends/family in Miami if she´s fancy free but quite another if she has a kid in tow. Pretty unlikely I would say even if the relationship isn´t so hot.

That was a rather negative post you wrote JimD…and you have it backwards as well, so let me school you a bit since I realize you don’t have too much experience in marriages/children with Colombian ladies.


From my viewpoint, If I was going to marry a lady we were going to have at least one child and that was going to happen relatively quickly.  I’m no spring chicken and did not intend on proving myself over a period of years.  Since my wife was on board with the program, that is what we did.  You make think of these Colombian ladies as pushovers, but it takes two to make the decision of having a child, and my wife would not ever be pushed into anything she didn’t also want.


You don't have a positive viewpoint of marriage/family with these ladies so I am not surprised at your efforts to spin other's situations in a negative way as it fits your schema perfectly!


Fathertime! 

[Chris F]

It sounds like his approach was to get her pregnant fast. And that may not be a bad idea if you want to guarentee that a woman will stay with you in the US.

I am only coming from a general perspective and NOT referring to FT' situation only to your comment.
Just because you get a woman pregnant does not guarantee anything. Also if someone feels that way they are dealing with real insecurity issues with being able to keep an attractive woman here in the US.
 
 

[Jeff S]

Yes - I agree with some of the other posters including FT - Once you know, you know. No holding back after that. FT paid plenty of dues along the way until he "knew."

[opusone]

That was a rather negative post you wrote JimD…and you have it backwards as well, so let me school you a bit since I realize you don’t have too much experience in marriages/children with Colombian ladies.


From my viewpoint, If I was going to marry a lady we were going to have at least one child and that was going to happen relatively quickly.  I’m no spring chicken and did not intend on proving myself over a period of years.  Since my wife was on board with the program, that is what we did.  You make think of these Colombian ladies as pushovers, but it takes two to make the decision of having a child, and my wife would not ever be pushed into anything she didn’t also want.


You don't have a positive viewpoint of marriage/family with these ladies so I am not surprised at your efforts to spin other's situations in a negative way as it fits your schema perfectly!


Fathertime!

I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with how you did this at all. His ( JimD) comments are a bit off base and perhaps it's just the way he feels overall about marriage . However ,I am curious because from 09-08 to about 12- 08 you only visited twice. Then you got engaged. Did you have a gut feeling that things like intimacy, trust , loyalty , were already in place before you visited? I just am trying to figure out if there was something you heard or saw during your webcam times with her , or was it just plain adrenalin and luck, combined with a festive evening or 2 once you got there? Most of us couldn't do that (get in engaged) in 90 days , state side , let alone overseas. Do you usually take a lot of risks in life? This was risky (I'm assuming here).

[fathertime]

I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with how you did this at all. His ( JimD) comments are a bit off base and perhaps it's just the way he feels overall about marriage . However ,I am curious because from 09-08 to about 12- 08 you only visited twice. Then you got engaged. Did you have a gut feeling that things like intimacy, trust , loyalty , were already in place before you visited? I just am trying to figure out if there was something you heard or saw during your webcam times with her , or was it just plain adrenalin and luck, combined with a festive evening or 2 once you got there? Most of us couldn't do that (get in engaged) in 90 days , state side , let alone overseas. Do you usually take a lot of risks in life? This was risky (I'm assuming here).

Greetings Opusone,



I’ll give you a brief synopsis of that 3 month time frame, (the way I remember it now, almost 3 years later!).  Around early Sept, I saw a new lady on Jamie’s website and asked Jamie if I could have her contact info, I had used his services in the recent past so he gave me the info. And I wrote to her. She responded quickly and we began webcamming for a few weeks.    I REALLY liked what I saw and she was always prompt and enthused about talking….I decided to quickly buy a plane ticket and see her in person this was around late Sept. 08.. 
….It was a wild week and I almost moved on but ultimately I got hooked….after that visit we spoke every night for about 2 months and talked about a lot of what we wanted in life…after which I visited again in the first week of December….I had already decided that I was going to ask my wife to marry me IF I liked how it was going, and as it turns out I did like how things were going so I asked her for marriage and she said yes.


 Now did I feel all those things such as intimacy trust loyalty?….to a certain extent I did feel those things, but I knew I didn’t really know for sure.  I decided I liked the direction things were going and I felt that I would never know for sure until she was living with my children and me, so I decided to risk it.  Now in the 7 months or so it took for her to get here, we talked each night and I visited her one more time…and I liked what was transpiring so I was nothing but reassured.  Obviously the process of getting to know each other was a two way street and my wife gave up her entire life in Colombia, so I guess she was feeling the same way I was.  My wife has a very loving and close family so I feel extra lucky that she decided I was worth the risk for her!


To answer your question, Yes I have taken a lot of risks in my life especially in the past, not so much anymore, to me this was a good risk worth taking.  I’ve been luckier than many, and I also feel that I have the right mix of personality traits to have a reasonable chance in making a marriage work with a much younger/more attractive lady from another very different culture.   After 2 years of living together, I still learn new things about my wife, and how to adapt different strategies for disagreements.  My wife can be rather complicated at times, I pretty much think that is how it is with all women!


.  Hope that answered your questions, if not fire away.   




Fathertime!

[JimD]

FT don' t get in a huff. Didn´t I say "And that may not be a bad idea.."? I say kudos kiddo. This foreign bride adventure is rife with stories of women leaving once they got to the US. I have two personal aquaintences to whom this happened but truth be told I´ve never heard of a woman with a kid taking off. Has anyone here?

[opusone]

Greetings Opusone,



I’ll give you a brief synopsis of that 3 month time frame, (the way I remember it now, almost 3 years later!).  Around early Sept, I saw a new lady on Jamie’s website and asked Jamie if I could have her contact info, I had used his services in the recent past so he gave me the info. And I wrote to her. She responded quickly and we began webcamming for a few weeks.    I REALLY liked what I saw and she was always prompt and enthused about talking….I decided to quickly buy a plane ticket and see her in person this was around late Sept. 08.. 
….It was a wild week and I almost moved on but ultimately I got hooked….after that visit we spoke every night for about 2 months and talked about a lot of what we wanted in life…after which I visited again in the first week of December….I had already decided that I was going to ask my wife to marry me IF I liked how it was going, and as it turns out I did like how things were going so I asked her for marriage and she said yes.


 Now did I feel all those things such as intimacy trust loyalty?….to a certain extent I did feel those things, but I knew I didn’t really know for sure.  I decided I liked the direction things were going and I felt that I would never know for sure until she was living with my children and me, so I decided to risk it.  Now in the 7 months or so it took for her to get here, we talked each night and I visited her one more time…and I liked what was transpiring so I was nothing but reassured.  Obviously the process of getting to know each other was a two way street and my wife gave up her entire life in Colombia, so I guess she was feeling the same way I was.  My wife has a very loving and close family so I feel extra lucky that she decided I was worth the risk for her!


To answer your question, Yes I have taken a lot of risks in my life especially in the past, not so much anymore, to me this was a good risk worth taking.  I’ve been luckier than many, and I also feel that I have the right mix of personality traits to have a reasonable chance in making a marriage work with a much younger/more attractive lady from another very different culture.   After 2 years of living together, I still learn new things about my wife, and how to adapt different strategies for disagreements.  My wife can be rather complicated at times, I pretty much think that is how it is with all women!


.  Hope that answered your questions, if not fire away.   




Fathertime!

Thank you for putting so much of what you did out on an open forum. Hope I'm not being to intrusive here. I too hate wasting a lot of time but I am a bit older now and so I think more in terms of  "security '. Since you are so forthcoming, and you did say I can fire away (lol) that I shall do.
Was Jamie involved in the process at all or did you  buy the contact info, and do it all on your own? Did you talk to her about a pre-nup or any other arrangements concerning your finances?  How did her family react to moving so fast? Is there anything you would do different now that you did back then? Once she was here, did you see anything that made you feel as though you had made a mistake? Lastly, did you already know Spanish, or her , English when you started communicating with her? Oh, one more lastly..(lol) how old was she back then?

[fathertime]

FT don' t get in a huff. Didn´t I say "And that may not be a bad idea.."? I say kudos kiddo. This foreign bride adventure is rife with stories of women leaving once they got to the US. I have two personal aquaintences to whom this happened but truth be told I´ve never heard of a woman with a kid taking off. Has anyone here?

I'm not quite in a huff, but I do sense a little too much negatively from you as of late! 
I agree that a once a wife has a child, she is less apt to just take off, but for a different reason then what you think.  Usually if a wife plans to have a child with a man, she has  sincere/genuine feelings for the man and THAT is why she is not likely to just take off to Miami, not because she is suddenly tied down and unable to...i'm pretty sure you have it bass-ackwards. 


It sounds like your aquaintences struck out big time, which is really sucko because from what I've seen most men have good intentions, with their wife-hunting.


Fathertime! 

[fathertime]

Thank you for putting so much of what you did out on an open forum. Hope I'm not being to intrusive here. I too hate wasting a lot of time but I am a bit older now and so I think more in terms of  "security '. Since you are so forthcoming, and you did say I can fire away (lol) that I shall do.
Was Jamie involved in the process at all or did you  buy the contact info, and do it all on your own? Did you talk to her about a pre-nup or any other arrangements concerning your finances?  How did her family react to moving so fast? Is there anything you would do different now that you did back then? Once she was here, did you see anything that made you feel as though you had made a mistake? Lastly, did you already know Spanish, or her , English when you started communicating with her? Oh, one more lastly..(lol) how old was she back then?

For me,
1.Jamie provided the contact info, the place to stay, and we chatted from time to time. 
2.I did not do a pre-nupt...we never talked once about how much money I had...she honestly couldn't have know if i was a pauper or a Rockefeller! Turns out I'm somewhere in between! 
3 her family liked me and they were supportive of our decision..i guess i light up the room for them!
4. I would do many things differently if I had to do it all over again, I would have pushed for her to move more quickly on driving and learning English, she is working on both now, but we started slow.
5. I never felt marrying was a mistake,  I just figure marriages with several kids underfoot are not easy, but are very rewarding! Marriages, especially international ones, are a work in progress!
 5.  My spanish was just so-so when I met my wife, It has improved enormously over the past 3 years.
6. we communicated in spanish when i first met her, and actually we still do 90% of the time.
7.  she had just turned 23 when I met her. 


Fathertime!

[opusone]

For me,
1.Jamie provided the contact info, the place to stay, and we chatted from time to time. 
2.I did not do a pre-nupt...we never talked once about how much money I had...she honestly couldn't have know if i was a pauper or a Rockefeller! Turns out I'm somewhere in between! 
3 her family liked me and they were supportive of our decision..i guess i light up the room for them!
4. I would do many things differently if I had to do it all over again, I would have pushed for her to move more quickly on driving and learning English, she is working on both now, but we started slow.
5. I never felt marrying was a mistake,  I just figure marriages with several kids underfoot are not easy, but are very rewarding! Marriages, especially international ones, are a work in progress!
 5.  My spanish was just so-so when I met my wife, It has improved enormously over the past 3 years.
6. we communicated in spanish when i first met her, and actually we still do 90% of the time.
7.  she had just turned 23 when I met her. 


Fathertime!

I can only sum this up by saying one word...... "incredible".

[JimD]

Usually if a wife plans to have a child with a man, she has  sincere/genuine feelings for the man...

Oh that's one scenerio. Don´t think it happens much in Colombia.

[fathertime]

I can only sum this up by saying one word...... "incredible".

Hey Opusone,
Thanks, but I really don't think it is incredible.  We met another couple here recently, same age difference as us, the guy is living on a shoestring, yet he has a VERY attractive Colombian wife and they have two small kids together.   She stays at home and cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, while he tries to bring in enough money to survive.


I feel you really gotta have a 'can do' attitude, for starters!
Fathertime!

[Chris F]

4. I would do many things differently if I had to do it all over again, I would have pushed for her to move more quickly on driving and learning English, she is working on both now, but we started slow.
.
6. we communicated in spanish when i first met her, and actually we still do 90% of the time.
  Fathertime!

My two cents for what it is worth FT.  With all due respect, if you are still communicating with her 90% in Spanish she is not going to progress much with English as it has been for the last few years.
By now you should be speaking to her in English the majority of the time or your just going to hurt her progress with learning the language.
Ask UT if  I am correct on this one.