WHY DID YOU CHOOSE FOREIGN WOMEN OVER AMERICAN WOMEN????

[saleens7tt]

100% agree sticky2. I'm looking forward to my 1st trip to BAQ;1 bieng the exact reason you mentioned. As a man, your treated with respect over there.

[beginthebeguin]

sticky2 said

Being brutally honest, for me it all boils down to feeling like I have value to women.  Here, I don't feel like women want me.  In South America, its the exact opposite.

My friends that is it in a nutshell.
Just last night I e-mailed my novia that because of bad time here in the states for me personally, I did not want to chat with her for a few days. I told here I would not be a very positive and upbeat novio for her to chat with when she was having a tough time there as well.  She responed that I was not treating her very well and she could not understand why I was behaving this way. She was firm but not (and I use a keyword here) judgemental. She gave me some time this afternoon to get into a better mood, when I did ask her via chat to let me cheer up on my own. The thing that impressed me today was that she was extremely patient, in adjusting to my mood.
And after a short time this evening I thought the better of it and contacted her. The thrust of what she said this evening was this: "Have patience. Trust in God. My love for you is always there.".  The very things that I had been telling her weeks before. I seriously doubt that AW would even bother to respond to a moody boyfriend in such a manner.
Gentlemen such constancy when you find it is the real reason why we look on other shores. 'Caus we ain't gonna find it here.

[euforia51]

Ok, here's my opinion..... There is something really wrong with the way American women value men here.
...

Being brutally honest, for me it all boils down to feeling like I have value to women.  Here, I don't feel like women want me.

OK ... I feel like I want to play Devil's Advocate here. What have you done to feel like you deserve that you're a man of value to an AW? I'm not trying to be argumentative and whether or not you want to answer is up to you, of course. I think it's a question worth examining.
 
I can say I have changed a ton since meeting my novia. And looking back, I can pretty much say I didn't deserve the respect of an AW. I thought I did, of course. I thought I was a good guy ... what could possibly be missing? The answer was alot. I won't go into the details here. But I can tell you if ever there was a motivational factor for some self-implemented, self-improvement, my novia was it for some reason.
 
It's been talked about here many times over how most Americanos are welcomed like rock stars in South America. And fortunately, we have a unique advantage ... at least at first. But if you're going to be sustainable with a woman from South America, you're still going to need to have your sh*t together. Or else dare I say, you will be eaten alive. And it will be worse because you will have spent a great deal on travel, lodging, vacation time, and immigration process costs if it goes that far.
 
Still, I agree with you on your observations with AWs. But between this time last year and now, my reasons for being in agreement are coming from a different place. That may not make sense; and it doesn't need to. All I'm suggesting is if you're looking to South America for easier prey (so to speak), get your issues cleaned up as quick as you can (if you have any) so you can be the honest, true to form gift that your South American woman has been waiting for.

[Researcher]

OK ... I feel like I want to play Devil's Advocate here. What have you done to feel like you deserve that you're a man of value to an AW? I'm not trying to be argumentative and whether or not you want to answer is up to you, of course. I think it's a question worth examining.
 
I can say I have changed a ton since meeting my novia. And looking back, I can pretty much say I didn't deserve the respect of an AW. I thought I did, of course. I thought I was a good guy ... what could possibly be missing? The answer was alot. I won't go into the details here. But I can tell you if ever there was a motivational factor for some self-implemented, self-improvement, my novia was it for some reason.
 
It's been talked about here many times over how most Americanos are welcomed like rock stars in South America. And fortunately, we have a unique advantage ... at least at first. But if you're going to be sustainable with a woman from South America, you're still going to need to have your sh*t together. Or else dare I say, you will be eaten alive. And it will be worse because you will have spent a great deal on travel, lodging, vacation time, and immigration process costs if it goes that far.
 
Still, I agree with you on your observations with AWs. But between this time last year and now, my reasons for being in agreement are coming from a different place. That may not make sense; and it doesn't need to. All I'm suggesting is if you're looking to South America for easier prey (so to speak), get your issues cleaned up as quick as you can (if you have any) so you can be the honest, true to form gift that your South American woman has been waiting for.

        So what you are saying Euforia is that until you met a foreign woman you never felt motivated to improve yourself.I agree with you.That is the thing with AWs: Why try? My Colombian wife makes me want to be a better man where as AWs just didn't motivate me like that.Probably because I see the effort my wife puts into our relationship and I am motivated to do the same.With an AW it is "all about them" and becomes not worth the effort.

      I'm not being argumentative, just playing the Devil's other Advocate! hehehe!

     Researcher       

[AndyLee]

        So what you are saying Euforia is that until you met a foreign woman you never felt motivated to improve yourself.I agree with you.That is the thing with AWs: Why try? My Colombian wife makes me want to be a better man where as AWs just didn't motivate me like that.Probably because I see the effort my wife puts into our relationship and I am motivated to do the same.With an AW it is "all about them" and becomes not worth the effort.

      I'm not being argumentative, just playing the Devil's other Advocate! hehehe!

     Researcher       

Ditto to what Euphoria said and seconded by Rese......I am the same, I wasn't very motivated to improve myself for AW, like you say, "why bother", but man, when I met my first Latina my attitude adjusted immediately. If they want to work that hard to please me then dang, I'm fine with working just as hard to please her.

[jmcooper002]

From the time I was 18 years old I always knew that I did not want to settle for an American woman. They have a lot to be desired. Although I personally love the look of a Latin woman the drama they often times surround themselves with is too much for me. Although that passion  does make the relationship more interesting. After Being married to an American woman that caused plenty of drama in my life I decided to go the simple route by going to the Philippines. The women there are very family centered and because they don't have legal divorce often times try harder to make a marriage work. I have respect for both Colombian and Filipino women but I prefer peace in my life. It was also a bit more appealing to me that in the Philippines they speak English, are educated and can use their degree in a practical manner here. The degrees in South America are not transferable and so that just makes the education they received a waste if they want to work here. I look at the cost of going through this process as an investment into a wonderful future. I look forward to having my girl in the States. This process is most certainly much more time consuming, expensive, and riskier than dating an American woman but its my thought that the payoff is much greater in the long run.

[saleens7tt]

Piggybacking on what searcher and ad said...I think latin women give you a reason to work on yourself, on your "game" per say to make the relationship great. Latin women try harder and seem more faithful. There brought up in a family atmosphere, and stay in that configuration until they marry...some are 35-40 and still living with family. We americans are out the house at 18 more than likely. We are a very individualistic, all bout me society I think, and aw's are like that...but so are most of us men.  Latin women are just the opposite,  family oriented, and seem to keep the man in their life happy, they appreciate is for all we do as the strong, family leader. Aw's, i feel are all about themselves.
Latinas/colombians make you want to be a better man because they encourage you to be a better man...not with insults or downgrading you, but with encouragement and support.
I'm a strong man, as most of us on this forum are, but I want support from my novia, not insults and attacks. ITS ALL ABOUT SUPPORT FROM YOUR BEAUTIFUL LATINA...THATS ALL US MEN WANT...at least I do..that and unconditional love. !

[sticky2]

What have you done to feel like you deserve that you're a man of value to an AW?
 
Still, I agree with you on your observations with AWs.

I understand why you ask this question... it is the manly thing to ask.  I could answer by bragging about my life and my accomplishments, and how hard I have worked to "prove" my value to these American women.


Well, therein lies the problem.  I'm tired of having to first prove myself to these women.  Since I'm not particularly handsome, I have to surround myself with social proof, drive fancy cars, have big parties, bla bla bla... all in the effort of coming into each possible relationship hoping to win the American woman's approval.


The fact is, if you are asking what I have done to prove my value to an AW, you are missing the bigger point, and maybe still a little brainwashed by our society.  What I have learned during my time in South America is that it isn't ME who first needs to prove my value to the woman, but it is actually the woman who first needs to prove her value to me.


Maybe it's merely a difference in the order of things.  In Peru or Colombia, it is first assumed that I have value until I prove otherwise.  In the US, the women assume I have no value, until I prove otherwise.  Then, once I prove otherwise, the "prize" I have won is still an American woman with all of the cold, selfish characteristics that come with them.


We could go back and forth in deep philosophical debate, but it still comes back to my earlier raw and very basic statement:  Here in the USA, I don't feel valued by the women.  In South America, from the moment I step off of the plane, it's the exact opposite.

[robert angel]

From the time I was 18 years old I always knew that I did not want to settle for an American woman. They have a lot to be desired. Although I personally love the look of a Latin woman the drama they often times surround themselves with is too much for me. Although that passion  does make the relationship more interesting. After Being married to an American woman that caused plenty of drama in my life I decided to go the simple route by going to the Philippines. The women there are very family centered and because they don't have legal divorce often times try harder to make a marriage work. I have respect for both Colombian and Filipino women but I prefer peace in my life. It was also a bit more appealing to me that in the Philippines they speak English, are educated and can use their degree in a practical manner here. The degrees in South America are not transferable and so that just makes the education they received a waste if they want to work here. I look at the cost of going through this process as an investment into a wonderful future. I look forward to having my girl in the States. This process is most certainly much more time consuming, expensive, and riskier than dating an American woman but its my thought that the payoff is much greater in the long run.

Very well stated Coop! Looking forward to your trip report!
 
I would be at a real disadvantage in Colombia--I don't speak much Spanish, can't dance salsa and while I can be very assertive, I think having experience as a lion tamer down there is quite helpful, but not a talent of mine and I'm not into dramas. Nonetheless, I want to visit there and surrounding nations--they seem beautiful and full of history. And there are some very nice and gracious ladies, if you have the time to really search. Whitey found a real diamond-- a 'lady' who defies any common Columbiana stereotypes.
 
I saw that you'd had a couple posts (short and well written also) and was wondering-are you still planning on the visiting the Philippines for ten days next month? Wish you all the best!
 
I forgot to reply to something Kfc said in response to a thread you started back in mid June.
 
I said we looked at flights that had  two 17 hour layovers--one in NYC and Tokyo--59 hours total, USA east coast to Manila. Kfc realized that didn't make sense.  It WAS Delta Northwest and the layovers were in Detroit and Tokyo. I don't think any airlines use a NYC to Tokyo combo to the Philippines. Kfc is a real whiz at flights, travel arrangements and at least a few other things--a nice guy as well.
 
I wished I checked with him first on the American Airlines--American Express Card Miles 'deal' I signed up for. It was absurdly easy to get a ton of miles quickly with them--we have about 85,000 of them, (we got 75,000 miles after making purchases of $1500 for things we needed) but if we I want to use them, I have to pick a date 330 days from now and as soon as mid night--the first minute of day before the 330th day comes, book JUST then--or there will be no seats left to get. If I cancel the card--it's something like $85 or $89 a year annual fee, or just don't use the card, we lose ALL the miles.
 
Plus to go anywhere on A. Airlines, it seems I have to fly south or west to Miami or Dallas first. For some, that's good.
 
As far as I know, Delta--N.W. has much more flexibility, their miles don't expire quickly and hunting for a credit card linked to it, to stack up miles, might be wise. Seems these deals typically start around late Sept and run into Oct---Nov. frequently. I haven't read the details, but they have one now w/ Delta-N.W that gives you up to 25,000 miles for signing up.

 
That said--getting too many credit cards, especially in a short time, can negatively effect your credit rating and oddly enough, also increase your auto insurance rate--they convinced the govt. it makes you more 'risky'...

Whatever airline you do fly, it makes sense, no matter what, to apply for freq. flyer miles and many of us forget to. In addition, if they 'bump' you or have an overnight delay, ask (firmly) for more--or for cash in compensation. Typically the cash is very small unless they've left you stranded a long time, outside the USA. My ex wife, when asked, agreed to give up her and my son's seats and wait for the next flight out of Hawaii and I think they got between $600 and $800, which became souvenir money
 
 
My wife, instead of getting home at 3PM, had to stay over night in Detroit and we got 30,000 miles (after I got a little 'pissy') for her trouble--but only after asking--initially they offered her 5000 miles and $18 for meals and expenses for her over night expenses (they paid for the hotel) and a. If I decide to get a Delta Am. Ex. card, I might add another 25,000 to that. I forget exactly what the terms were, but at one point, I think they offered her 5000 miles or $50.

[Researcher]

 And there are some very nice and gracious ladies, if you have the time to really search. Whitey found a real diamond-- a 'lady' who defies any common Columbiana stereotypes.
 

     I don't know Robert I think there are plenty of very nice and gracious ladies in Colombia.The stereotypes you are talking about are the ones where the guy is looking more on the outside than the inner qualities of the lady.You can find women there who possess both very attractive inner and outer beauty it's just that many guys want to rush through the process and end up with the most attractive woman that will accept them. And being one of the few members here who can compare from my own experience I'd say those filipinas aren't all they are cracked up to be when it comes to drama.

        Researcher

[euforia51]

        So what you are saying Euforia is that until you met a foreign woman you never felt motivated to improve yourself.
...
That is the thing with AWs: Why try? My Colombian wife makes me want to be a better man where as AWs just didn't motivate me like that.Probably because I see the effort my wife puts into our relationship and I am motivated to do the same.

Yeah Researcher, I guess I am saying that in a way. Damn, you have such a knack for simplification. lol It's easy to sit here and slam on the AWs ... we've done it before and we're all very good at it. But regardless ... if you do catch and land a good woman, regardless of where she may be from, she deserves the best you've got.
 
I don't what it was about Glory that helped provoked me to change so much. It's really kinda weird. I'll have to think on that one for a while and write something up on it some time.

[fathertime]

combining a couple thoughts here....i find an attractive lady to be motivating...therefore as it turns out i picked the most attractive lady I could....i rolled the dice a bit on personality...but had a sure thing in regards to her beauty! jajaja


Fathertime! 

[euforia51]

combining a couple thoughts here....i find an attractive lady to be motivating...therefore as it turns out i picked the most attractive lady I could....i rolled the dice a bit on personality...but had a sure thing in regards to her beauty! jajaja

Man with that kind of luck, you ought to be playing the market. And it's just your luck that it went on sale today! How much more lucky could you be? 

[Kiltboy1]

After picking beauty with my wife from Cali, I soon realized that that was a huuuuuuuuuge mistake. I have a very, very, did I say VERY !! , low tolerance for immaturity. I do way more better with older women/ or mature for there ages. I could not adjust to under 28 woman even in LA/ They are boring. cook for me, clean for me, screw me, ufff, borrrrring !/ I needed more. I wanted a woman that would be equal to me, challenge my thoughts, like an American woman , only hot !!!!!!!/ I found that. My wife really pisses me off and will absolutely not back down in her principles. She has many times told me to go FFFFFF myself. But she also does this with a smile and a hug and THIS is what I love about her more then anything. She is not my servant, but my wife and equal. Everything I ever wanted and she does this with much respect as I do her. This is why I chose her 

[robert angel]

OK--this is superficial, mainly dealing with physical beauty, so if that offends you, skip this.
 
But here's about 20 reasons why I chose foreign women over AWs:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVLhCYjO1nk&feature=related
 
 
Keep in mind that while you see a fair amount of diversity in the 'looks' dept. here, it doesn't begin to portray the humongous diversity in looks to be found in the Philippines, from ladies who have the purest bloodlines from Spain--with jet black hair and skin whiter than whole milk, to those who look Chinese, to those with very dark skin, with hair and facial features of African women. African women vary greatly in appearance personally (along with  model agencies and several major rock stars) think East African women in particular, really rock.
 
You like your lady thin--or quite curvy and with a generous butt? They've got all shapes and sizes. Although most are between 5/0 and 5'5 tall and I don't recall seeing a Filipina over six feet tall, I have met plenty who were 5'9 or 5'10 tall. And they almost all speak English--in fact the Philippines is the third largest English speaking nation on earth!
 
In addition, I find that--and this will sounds awful to some, but I'll say it anyway--that just as with a 'mutt'--a dog with a variety of blood and genetics within, many Filipino's intelligence, dispositions and their abilities, are often far superior to that of an an individual descending from a more narrow gene pool.
 
And from the comments I get about my own Irish--Italian--Filipino mixed blood children--they produce the most beautiful/handsome offspring as well!

[notgoingtofindithere]

For me, I just feel that I am wasting my time at bars and online sites with aw.  It's just more economical and logical to put my time and efforts toward something more realistic. An AW is just a big turn off for me with the feminist attitude.
 
I have enjoyed visiting colombia off and on for the last 6 years. Its a breath of fresh air and I always feel welcome there. Also,It has been easy to meet women without attitudes. The more I go.. the more I want to return. I think there is something they find attractive about a gringo accent jajaja.

[robert angel]

     I don't know Robert I think there are plenty of very nice and gracious ladies in Colombia.The stereotypes you are talking about are the ones where the guy is looking more on the outside than the inner qualities of the lady.You can find women there who possess both very attractive inner and outer beauty it's just that many guys want to rush through the process and end up with the most attractive woman that will accept them. And being one of the few members here who can compare from my own experience I'd say those filipinas aren't all they are cracked up to be when it comes to drama.

        Researcher

 
I hear ya--I have never seen any group of people who love juicy gossip as much as Filipinas. Even some Filipinas who I wouldn't characterize as 'lost their way' or as 'really bad people' tend to love gossip. A lot are also into celebrities--TV shows like 'Entertainment Tonight',  'TMZ', 'Snapped' and 'People', 'OK', and 'Us' magazine-- that sort of 'chewing gum for the mind'. My wife does follow that stuff a bit on-line and occasionally on TV, but she's more likely to be reading a good book as in 'literature' perhaps a cook book or something similar. She just read the best seller "Heaven is Real' in three hours while we relaxed at a local bookstore--it's a good little book.
 
My wife 'picks up on it' ---on the way so many Filipinas gossip--she'd have to be a deaf and dumb not to, but knowing how it so easily spins out of control, she just keeps her social circle with other Filipinas very, very small. She knows them all and they know her, but she really only has two Filipina friends I'd characterize as her 'best friends' stateside and unlike them, she doesn't discuss intimate details of our lives, not even with the two of them.
 
Just so she doesn't sound like 'Ms. Goody Two Shoes' or like she's pretending we're  'Barbi and Ken', she may interject something into the 'gossip' that they're digging for and dishing out--usually something along the lines of "Robert doesn't help out with the house hold chores enough"--"He doesn't leave his shoes at the door" or something similarly awful, yet innocuous.
 
It's not easy for her when she's upset with me--not even trusting her two closest friends here and having to internalize it sometimes, but she just knows how things 'get out' and especially because they'd all love to have some real juicy 'dirt' on her in particular, they do try and pry sometimes--but she won't let them get that real 'dirt' out of her, as it will just snowball, get blown out of proportion or completely changed as its passed along. It isn't easy to keep stuff like that inside--I think all marriages have stresses and strains that we'd like to vent sometimes--she's just been a tough cookie so far.
 
Many immigrants who had little back home, and some who even had more material things, become 'more American than the Americans' once they've been here a while, in terms of 'over the top' materialism, greed, and coveting. Filipinas are certainly no exception. I have seen girls from the provinces--girls of good virtue, come here and turn to having affairs behind their husband's backs, into outright whores, dance crazy bar flies, drug addicts, alcoholics and more.
 
I sometimes make Filipinas out to  seemingly be all but perfect perhaps, but make no mistake about it--anything you can say about or find in a Colombiana, or a Ukrainian, Latvian or Korean woman (to just name a few) good or bad, you can find in a Filipina. I know, because I've seen it before and I see it all too regularly still.
 
People are people, they can change and when they have 'free will' as is typical of humans, it can become  a nasty thing.....
 
Zsa Zsa Gabor, when asked to characterize her role in life: "I'm a housekeeper. I get married and when it doesn't work out, we divorce and I keep the house"....

[beginthebeguin]

R_A said

People are people, they can change and when they have 'free will' as is typical of humans, it can become  a nasty thing.....

Yeah, my biggest fear in picking a new wife means watching her change over the years and for the worse. Hell robert you could start a brand new thread with that subject alone.
And kb you are right also. maturity for the age of the woman in question has got to be there for me. It is a quality that is hard to define in words sometimes. One doesn't want a woman that is 'beaten down' by her life experiences but one who can adjust it.
But kb you are wrong in one aspect. From what you are telling us about your wife, you didn't choose her, she chose you. 

[Jeff S]

After picking beauty with my wife from Cali, I soon realized that that was a huuuuuuuuuge mistake. I have a very, very, did I say VERY !! , low tolerance for immaturity. I do way more better with older women/ or mature for there ages. I could not adjust to under 28 woman even in LA/ They are boring. cook for me, clean for me, screw me, ufff, borrrrring !/ I needed more. I wanted a woman that would be equal to me, challenge my thoughts, like an American woman , only hot !!!!!!!/ I found that. My wife really pisses me off and will absolutely not back down in her principles. She has many times told me to go FFFFFF myself. But she also does this with a smile and a hug and THIS is what I love about her more then anything. She is not my servant, but my wife and equal. Everything I ever wanted and she does this with much respect as I do her. This is why I chose her 

I feel exactly the same way. My wife also has brains, personality and maturity to go along with her looks.


You do realize that guys who pick out ditzy, immature women are picking their equals, as well? As Stephen used to say Al Capone and Mother Theresa never get together in the first place.

[benjio]

I've never really had a huge problem with women in the United States but I can definitely relate to the comments that have already been made in this thread. Although a lot of them can be unrealistically needy, selfish and emotionally unstable, I know some great single women here who would make spectacular wives. I've dated Caucasian Women, Asians, Latinas, Blacks...pretty much everything except Indian and Arabic girls and in my opinion each group has their bad apples. For me, the combination of three preferences initially brought me to Barranquilla. I love women with darker skin (Morenas), I love Latin Women, and my expectations of a wife are more on the traditional side. Most of my dating experience here in the U.S. is with black women, as I'm African American and they are my preference physically. However, there are three things about most of them that always made it difficult to find one that was compatable with me.
 
 

• Unfortunately the black community in the United States is notorious for single parent homes. In probably 99.9% of these cases, it's a mother raising a child by herself. From what I've found, women from single parent homes, especially if they never had brothers, are extremely independent and head strong. They have very little understanding of or patience for the male ego, and have trouble submitting to a male head of household. I'm all about independent women and I'm proud of anyone, male or female, that's made a successful life for themselves coming from a single parent home. But women that want to control everything in a household because they've always done so in the past don't have a chance with me.

 

• A lot of black women have a very bad habit of confusing the lack of virtue with strength when it comes to men. I think most girls have that stage in their lives when they're attracted to bad boys, but they usually grow out of it and eventually try their best to choose a man that will make a good husband and father. This is not the case with a lot of black women here in the states. They'll do it their entire lives. It's not uncommon to see a black woman that's a successful criminal attorney dating one of her clients. There's a popular reality show on TV where this has happened. The media and the entertainment industry glorify criminal mentality in the black commmunity, so that may very well be a part of the problem. But it has always been a mystery to me how a woman with repeated horrible experiences dating criminals will continue to do so. I mean seriously...how many times are you going to date a guy that's been shot, has done hard time, or makes money doing something illegal? The worst thing is black women are the first to make the proclimation that all men are dogs, even though their bad experiences with relationships are a direct result of the choices they made in men.

 

• A lot of black women do not take pride in their personal health or appearance. I'm a big guy...mostly because I lift weights but I could probably stand to lose a 20 or 30 pounds and I'm working towards that goal. But a stroll through any Houston Area neighborhood that's prodominently African American would leave most of your bottom jaw's on the floor. The amount of morbidly obese black women is astounding. I'm not talking about a few extra pounds either. I mean on the edge of not being able to walk. The weave, fake nails, contacts just for the sake of changing eye color BS has always been a deal breaker for me as well. I don't even like fake breast or asses. I like all natural women.

These are all generalizations of course. When I was with my girlfriend, I would meet women here that were interested and when I'd tell them about my relationship, their first question was always why a man would travel so far to find a wife and then try to maintain a relationship over such great distances. When I ran these three reasons by them, you wouldn't believe the reactions. Sometimes disbelief, most of the times pure anger...but this is my world as I see it.
 
Amazingly, in Colombia, I have now found it is very difficult to find darker women that are interested in black men. Dennis and I have talked about this a lot. In my opinion they have some type of inner self loathing that makes them prefer lighter skinned, or even white men. I haven't looked at Jamie's site in probably a few weeks, but it wasn't uncommon to find most of the dark women specifying a preference for white men. A Colombian friend of mine from Cali agrees with me on this, and explained his theory to me when I was there last year. He said being dark in Colombia is hard. There's a lot of discrimination that comes along with it. Darker women would rather be with the lightest guy possible to try and even out the playing field for themselves and their children (which would obviously have a good chance at being born with lighter skin). I don't know if that's true or not, but up until this point, I can honestly tell everyone that most Colombian girls that are interested in me have a lighter complexion. If that ain't irony I don't know what is.
 
 

[fathertime]

I've never really had a huge problem with women in the United States but I can definitely relate to the comments that have already been made in this thread. Although a lot of them can be unrealistically needy, selfish and emotionally unstable, I know some great single women here who would make spectacular wives. I've dated Caucasian Women, Asians, Latinas, Blacks...pretty much everything except Indian and Arabic girls and in my opinion each group has their bad apples. For me, the combination of three preferences initially brought me to Barranquilla. I love women with darker skin (Morenas), I love Latin Women, and my expectations of a wife are more on the traditional side. Most of my dating experience here in the U.S. is with black women, as I'm African American and they are my preference physically. However, there are three things about most of them that always made it difficult to find one that was compatable with me.
 
 

• Unfortunately the black community in the United States is notorious for single parent homes. In probably 99.9% of these cases, it's a mother raising a child by herself. From what I've found, women from single parent homes, especially if they never had brothers, are extremely independent and head strong. They have very little understanding of or patience for the male ego, and have trouble submitting to a male head of household. I'm all about independent women and I'm proud of anyone, male or female, that's made a successful life for themselves coming from a single parent home. But women that want to control everything in a household because they've always done so in the past don't have a chance with me.

 

• A lot of black women have a very bad habit of confusing the lack of virtue with strength when it comes to men. I think most girls have that stage in their lives when they're attracted to bad boys, but they usually grow out of it and eventually try their best to choose a man that will make a good husband and father. This is not the case with a lot of black women here in the states. They'll do it their entire lives. It's not uncommon to see a black woman that's a successful criminal attorney dating one of her clients. There's a popular reality show on TV where this has happened. The media and the entertainment industry glorify criminal mentality in the black commmunity, so that may very well be a part of the problem. But it has always been a mystery to me how a woman with repeated horrible experiences dating criminals will continue to do so. I mean seriously...how many times are you going to date a guy that's been shot, has done hard time, or makes money doing something illegal? The worst thing is black women are the first to make the proclimation that all men are dogs, even though their bad experiences with relationships are a direct result of the choices they made in men.

 

• A lot of black women do not take pride in their personal health or appearance. I'm a big guy...mostly because I lift weights but I could probably stand to lose a 20 or 30 pounds and I'm working towards that goal. But a stroll through any Houston Area neighborhood that's prodominently African American would leave most of your bottom jaw's on the floor. The amount of morbidly obese black women is astounding. I'm not talking about a few extra pounds either. I mean on the edge of not being able to walk. The weave, fake nails, contacts just for the sake of changing eye color BS has always been a deal breaker for me as well. I don't even like fake breast or asses. I like all natural women.

These are all generalizations of course. When I was with my girlfriend, I would meet women here that were interested and when I'd tell them about my relationship, their first question was always why a man would travel so far to find a wife and then try to maintain a relationship over such great distances. When I ran these three reasons by them, you wouldn't believe the reactions. Sometimes disbelief, most of the times pure anger...but this is my world as I see it.
 
Amazingly, in Colombia, I have now found it is very difficult to find darker women that are interested in black men. Dennis and I have talked about this a lot. In my opinion they have some type of inner self loathing that makes them prefer lighter skinned, or even white men. I haven't looked at Jamie's site in probably a few weeks, but it wasn't uncommon to find most of the dark women specifying a preference for white men. A Colombian friend of mine from Cali agrees with me on this, and explained his theory to me when I was there last year. He said being dark in Colombia is hard. There's a lot of discrimination that comes along with it. Darker women would rather be with the lightest guy possible to try and even out the playing field for themselves and their children (which would obviously have a good chance at being born with lighter skin). I don't know if that's true or not, but up until this point, I can honestly tell everyone that most Colombian girls that are interested in me have a lighter complexion. It that ain't irony I don't know what is.

i know you are just on a rant here benjio, but you gotta keep a positive attitude...i'm pretty sure you are going to find a morena babe in colombia...i do agree though that a few of the morenas like the idea of having a lighter skinned man, but i've seen quite a few that are also married to black men, so it is clearly only a matter of time for a guy like yourself!


Fathertime! 

[benjio]

i know you are just on a rant here benjio, but you gotta keep a positive attitude...i'm pretty sure you are going to find a morena babe in colombia...i do agree though that a few of the morenas like the idea of having a lighter skinned man, but i've seen quite a few that are also married to black men, so it is clearly only a matter of time for a guy like yourself!


Fathertime!

FT, I agree. Just speaking of what I've seen for the most part. All generalizations. There are always exceptions when it comes to women.

[jb]

ITS ALL ABOUT SUPPORT FROM YOUR BEAUTIFUL LATINA...THATS ALL US MEN WANT...at least I do..that and unconditional love. !

support and unconditional love
here, here!

[jb]

We could go back and forth in deep philosophical debate, but it still comes back to my earlier raw and very basic statement:  Here in the USA, I don't feel valued by the women.  In South America, from the moment I step off of the plane, it's the exact opposite.

From the limited experience i have with foreign women in the US, it just felt different, better.  I felt fundamentally accepted as a person.  I felt that they accepted me as a male.  I didn't feel challenged.  I felt valued as a person and as a male just for being a male.  It was a good feeling.

I look forward to the day the plane lands for me!


I'm going to offer an oversimplified statement.  I need to clarify that I don't believe in bashing AW.  I believe there are wonderful ladies here in the US.  An example is a friend of mine who told me that he wants to give his wife everything, because all she wants is him. (both are American)
What I think has happened is that there have been things going on over the last century that affect our culture in the USA that in the end affect both men and women negatively.  It is one that divides us based on gender to look at the other badly, bashes males, tells women they deserve it all and can have it all from a selfish point of view (princess fairytale), also tries to remove the differences from men and women on an human level.  Ok Ok so i'll stop the rant.   Please just keep in mind i'm not bashing AW just the culture we've both been fed.     

keeping this in mind and this being a general blanket statement, what does everyone think?

Foreign Women: I'm accepted as a man
US Women:        I have to prove myself as a human being.

I really don't like putting these types of statements out there but am interested to hear others thoughts on the subject.

[Colgando]

From the limited experience i have with foreign women in the US, it just felt different, better.  I felt fundamentally accepted as a person.  I felt that they accepted me as a male.  I didn't feel challenged.  I felt valued as a person and as a male just for being a male.  It was a good feeling.

I look forward to the day the plane lands for me!


I'm going to offer an oversimplified statement.  I need to clarify that I don't believe in bashing AW.  I believe there are wonderful ladies here in the US.  An example is a friend of mine who told me that he wants to give his wife everything, because all she wants is him. (both are American)
What I think has happened is that there have been things going on over the last century that affect our culture in the USA that in the end affect both men and women negatively.  It is one that divides us based on gender to look at the other badly, bashes males, tells women they deserve it all and can have it all from a selfish point of view (princess fairytale), also tries to remove the differences from men and women on an human level.  Ok Ok so i'll stop the rant.   Please just keep in mind i'm not bashing AW just the culture we've both been fed.     

keeping this in mind and this being a general blanket statement, what does everyone think?

Foreign Women: I'm accepted as a man
US Women:        I have to prove myself as a human being.

I really don't like putting these types of statements out there but am interested to hear others thoughts on the subject.

Yep, I do not bash AW either and have not done so in my posts on this forum. I agree, it is a function of the culture I think that effects both the men and the women in our country. Actually, I have had a few very good prospects in the US, just missing that carinosa feeling and physical attraction I have with Latinas. If I was into plain chocolate and vanilla american women, I would already be married to a good, american woman.