WHY DID YOU CHOOSE FOREIGN WOMEN OVER AMERICAN WOMEN????

[saleens7tt]

I just wanted to start a post on why all of us are looking and marrying foreign ladies. This may turn into an aw bashing session, if so, so be it. For me as a mixed race man(a mutt)(african american-jamaicain-spanish-caucasion)...I have always dated or married black women. For all of u who have been in a relationship with them...WHAT is the deal with their attitudes. Bossy, controlling and will say whatever their mind  is thinking, regardless if it is inapproriate, degrading or hurtful to that persons feelings and intellect. And its all about money with them. Latinas/columbianas, for me, just have that sex appeal and seem more nuturing when it comes to the men in their lives. Why did u decide not to deal with aw women any longer..black. white, whom-ever????Benjio I would love to hear your perspectives on this since you wrote that outstanding piece on jamies site.

[utopiacowboy]

Bossy, controlling and will say whatever their mind  is thinking, regardless if it is inapproriate, degrading or hurtful to that persons feelings and intellect.

Dude, I got news for you. Most American women are like that regardless of race. My ex-wife would blurt out anything that came into her head without thinking at all about what effect it would have. She had a disagreement with our daughter one day about something and told her that she (my daughter) was a terrible mother. Aside from the fact that it wasn't true (she is a very good mother), this isn't something you say to someone. My daughter didn't talk to her for 3 or 4 months after that. Which is typical.

[cantinflas]

They take better care of themselves. They are healthier. They dress better.

[Colgando]

For me, I am into Latinas, just my thing. So the question for me is American born or Foreign born. I prefer my women foreign born having not been influenced by American culture. I love our country and culture, but I think there are many negative side effects that manifest themselves in our american women, of all ages, that I do not want or care to deal with in terms of a life long marriage to a woman. On the other hand, I gladly opt for the characteristics of Foreign born Latinas, there are negatives as well in these cultures, but with patience, I believe I can find a gem. A woman with all the good parts of the latin culture, leaving behind the bad. I like to think I am an American with the good parts of our culture and having left behind the bad. Maybe my match is out there somewhere. Vamos a ver! 

[Alabamaboy!]

To me it seems more like the American culture has ruined things for most of the women here. I dated so many women who were either so obsessed with their financial situation that all they talked about was their 401K plan and their personal climb to achieve corporate greatness, or they are just the opposite, know that they will never achieve anything on their own so they try to scam it out of the guy one way or the other.

Nobody ever talked much about having a cool little family where everyone does their part, where they man is the husband, father, primary breadwinner. And the female is the wife, mother, homemaker. And everyone does their best and have a great life together. I don't hear much about that lifestyle in the US. And if it is, it surely is not promoted. If fact, it seems like it is actually discouraged for some reason.

And although you cannot guarantee that your foreign bride will not become "Americanized", at least you have a fighting chance. Especially these days when it is becoming more and more obvious that "The American Way" is not always the best way.

Many foreign born women that I dated while in Florida years ago had come over with other family and had already been in the American dating scene and had already become polluted. Lots of alcoholics, drug abusers, etc. I have dated and been around a lot of Colombians and I have yet to see any of them addicted to drugs, booze, etc.

I settled on Colombia, because I really love the vibe there. The Colombian culture has its own problems, but in general I love the feel I get down there....the music, dancing, the look of the women, foods, style, their approach to life, their positivity in the face of some pretty tough realities at times.

[Researcher]

     Hey AB, I like the vibe in Colombia as well.I think if I lived there long enough I could be as laid back as Jim D.!

     American Women are so obsessed with themselves that they have become lousy in relationships.That's the bottom line to me.Foreign women aren't perfect but they seem more down to earth overall, at least when it comes to relationships.I think all American men should realize the option of looking outside the US for a wife.

    Researcher

[saleens7tt]

My ex wife owned her own buisness, I was proud of her for achieving that goal. Here was the problem...she got so used to being the boss, bieng in charge, that she brought that  mess home  with her, trying to run the house, run me, run  my daughter. My ex never had patience, and was never one to think before she spoke. I left/got divorced....hopefully I spend enough time with my daughter to instill in her not to be like her mother. She's a beautiful 9 yr old girl, and I am lucky that her and I remain close.
I guess from another post a lot of aw's are like that(controlling). I've only ever dealt with african american women so that's all I know. Someone mentioned columbiana's as not bieng that way when they come here and become americanized....drugs, booze, the "all bout me personalities" doesn't affect them.  I was shocked to learn the columbian women live with their familys till they marry. Us in america are out on our own at 18 or so.
I think that "staying at home till marriage" is a good thing and is why they are so much more family oriented and nurturing than we are.

[fathertime]

  Especially these days when it is becoming more and more obvious that "The American Way" is not always the best way.
 

The american way is becoming the worst way!  A glance at the drug consumption here provides evidence.  Colombia helps supply those drugs, but drugs are a foreign concept to my wife and her family.  A society living in excess for as long as we have been, is prone to self-destruction. 


 The genuine hippy ladies live in places like colombia.  No falsities like gay  butterfly tattoos, facial piercings, and drug use, there are many genuine very attractive young ladies with good attitudes, willing to have children with a man they think is good.  That is not a common sight here, and nearly impossible to attain when you are a man over 40 here in the states.  It is still a rare bird that will make the trip over to Colombia though, which keeps it relatively clean for those that do. 




Fathertime! 

[whitey]

Because a man like me (average looking, late 40's, decent income, honest, faithful) can share his life with a woman who is kind, affectionate, thoughtful, faithful, passionate, feminine, honest, hard-working, family oriented, gives 100% of herself to a relationship without holding back anything, uncomplicated, happy and optimistic, religious without being judgemental.

Oh, almost forgot.  She's will be younger and beautiful too.

[Colgando]

Because a man like me (average looking, late 40's, decent income, honest, faithful) can share his life with a woman who is kind, affectionate, thoughtful, faithful, passionate, feminine, honest, hard-working, family oriented, gives 100% of herself to a relationship without holding back anything, uncomplicated, happy and optimistic, religious without being judgemental.

Oh, almost forgot.  She's will be younger and beautiful too.

Yeah, sign me up for that, plug in 30 for the age for me...jejejejeje.....

[InSanDiego]

For me, it's pretty simple. I want a woman who is hogarena, not some "Sex and the City" type egoista...

[JWR]

American women = Spoiled.  Now skip the rest of this blather if you don't have the time.
Struggle builds character.  Many of the women down there have had to struggle just to feed themselves, and their families.  Struggle builds appreciation when things finally get better.  Appreciation is an attractive trait in any person.  It's the contrast that most often allows us an opportunity with these women down there.  The contrast between struggle, and a better life.
I have never gone to bed hungry in my life because I was lucky enough to be born into a family in the US that didn't have to worry about food and shelter. 
I will not  "judge" those who at times don't even have their basic needs met.  I've dated girls in Colombia, and visited their homes in poor parts of BQ, and was completely floored by the poverty.  This is a humbling experience, and when I met a quote, "scammer" that seemed only out for the money,  I tried to simply and quietly move on, and not "judge" those girls.  Many of the girls I've met have gone to bed hungry, unlike me.  Desperate people will do desperate things, and when getting off the plane in Colombia, it's often best to just become an observer without judging.
American women often are lacking in many ways because of their lack of "struggle".  There is just often little appreciation for small things in life.  Most American men aren't much different, but that is not what this thread is about.
In Colombia we use the contrast between struggle and comfort to our advantage.  And there is often a similar amount of contrast between the American men and Colombian women together.  A 40+ year old guy who is 85 lbs over weight represents quite a contrast standing next to a slim pretty Colombian girl that is 20 years his junior.  The larger the contrast between struggle and security, the larger the contrast between old and fat, and young and beautiful
I think it's best to always remember what allows us this opportunity.  We are using contrast to our advantage.  Is that a good basis for starting a relationship? Most likely not, but it's better then just staying here and giving up.
In the end, it's difficult and  sobering to be completely honest with ourselves about why we go down there.  We simply don't want to date our counter parts.  A 40+ year old over weight American women just isn't that appealing.  I lost alot of weight and went back to the gym because one day I looked in the mirror and realized "holy crap" if I want to date these pretty, and younger girls, I better at least try to look my best.  Those girls don't like fat guys any more then we like fat girls. 
 

[utopiacowboy]

In Colombia we use the contrast between struggle and comfort to our advantage.  And there is often a similar amount of contrast between the American men and Colombian women together.  A 40+ year old guy who is 85 lbs over weight represents quite a contrast standing next to a slim pretty Colombian girl that is 20 years his junior.  The larger the contrast between struggle and security, the larger the contrast between old and fat, and young and beautiful
I think it's best to always remember what allows us this opportunity.  We are using contrast to our advantage.  Is that a good basis for starting a relationship? Most likely not, but it's better then just staying here and giving up.
In the end, it's difficult and  sobering to be completely honest with ourselves about why we go down there.  We simply don't want to date our counter parts.  A 40+ year old over weight American women just isn't that appealing.  I lost alot of weight and went back to the gym because one day I looked in the mirror and realized "holy crap" if I want to date these pretty, and younger girls, I better at least try to look my best.  Those girls don't like fat guys any more then we like fat girls.

Check out the photos of Chris F. and his wife. IMHO, they are comparably attractive. Chris looks like the guy in Warehouse 13 who is a real heart throb so Mrs. Chris did not settle one little bit. Anyone who thinks guys who marry South Americans are all overweight, balding, out of shape unattractive men needs to look at those photos a while.

[Colgando]

Check out the photos of Chris F. and his wife. IMHO, they are comparably attractive. Chris looks like the guy in Warehouse 13 who is a real heart throb so Mrs. Chris did not settle one little bit. Anyone who thinks guys who marry South Americans are all overweight, balding, out of shape unattractive men needs to look at those photos a while.

Amen

[Chris F]

Check out the photos of Chris F. and his wife. IMHO, they are comparably attractive. Chris looks like the guy in Warehouse 13 who is a real heart throb so Mrs. Chris did not settle one little bit. Anyone who thinks guys who marry South Americans are all overweight, balding, out of shape unattractive men needs to look at those photos a while.

Thanks for the kind words UT!  I really do not consider myself to be Tom Cruise.I am just your typical and average late forties guy who  keeps himself in pretty good shape and is blessed to have a full head of hair.
Before I started this international journey ten years ago, a couple of friends of mine had already made multiple visits to Colombia.  They told me that your going to have no problem dating very attractive women in Colombia.
I told them that I am no Brad Pitt. They commented that when you compare yourself  to many of the foreign guys who go to South America you are Brad Pitt.
I understood what they meant on my first trip there. Many of the guys(but not all) there were really out of shape to the extreme. I had conversations with them and they could not understand why they could not get many attractive women to date them. They were that clueless that their appearance was part of the problem.
It is very true that the girls overall do not like fat guys anymore then we like fat girls.  You can be an average looking guy ( I am) and have your pick of women as long as you physically take care of yourself.
 
 
 

[Researcher]

Check out the photos of Chris F. and his wife. IMHO, they are comparably attractive. Chris looks like the guy in Warehouse 13 who is a real heart throb so Mrs. Chris did not settle one little bit. Anyone who thinks guys who marry South Americans are all overweight, balding, out of shape unattractive men needs to look at those photos a while.

    ...or at least have plenty of cash to make up for being overweight and bald!! hahaha!

       Researcher

[euforia51]

American women = Spoiled.  Now skip the rest of this blather if you don't have the time.
Struggle builds character.  Many of the women down there have had to struggle just to feed themselves, and their families.  Struggle builds appreciation when things finally get better.  Appreciation is an attractive trait in any person.  It's the contrast that most often allows us an opportunity with these women down there.  The contrast between struggle, and a better life.
I have never gone to bed hungry in my life because I was lucky enough to be born into a family in the US that didn't have to worry about food and shelter.

Ditto, Ditto, and Ditto! While I see the wisdom in this statement, and concur that Appreciation is as attractive in a woman as her nice a$$ if not more so. But for me, I see it only as a piece of the pie. My choice was a chance encounter online and almost an accident. I have yet to date another Colombian woman because of the gem I am with right now. If you're counting time known, August will be a year for me. And I just don't see myself with an AW again for any reason.
 
When I Skype with Glory, she is always and I mean, always, happy to see me. She always asks about my day and the typical routine stuff that often fades away after a few months of being with someone. The kind of stuff you take for granted after a while. Yeah, she's dropped a few dorky things like using emoticons over the months we've been talking, but her expressions and reactions haven't changed from the first time we chatted on video. And to me, that's important.
 
Outside of the typical reasons, the challenge of having to speak and write Spanish with her is mentally stimulating for me. It is keeping things fresh and on edge. And there's nothing wrong with that. And this challenge will continue when she finally begins to learn Ingles.
 
Back to appreciation ... she has it. She comes from a great family. And while she doesn't live like a spoiled little princess, she has a nice home that she shares with her family, she has a stable job, and an engrained trait of being responsible and doing the right thing.
 
Physically, she's beautiful as well. Medellin has something in the water when it comes to physical beauty, I think. Like me, she's in her mid 40s and can run circles around the wrinkled and washed up and AWs I see daily where I live who are of the same age and even younger. The sad thing is they think they're sexy with their slutty struts and nasty tattoos. The dictionary describes something like this as arrogance. And this is just as unattractive as any other quality I can think of.

[AndyLee]

I chose foreign women because of my unpleasant experiences with Americanized Women. I was newly single in 1999 and went on Match.com to find a new love. I spent 10 years  on Match.com plus local singles bars, church picnics, ski trips, singles cruises and all my friends setting me up with the "perfect" blind dates. During that 10 years I had five girlfriends, all of which lasted less than 2 months and none of which was really wife material (for me).
What is "wife material" for me? A woman who is significantly intelligent, attractive, sexy, educated, not overweight, not a feminist, not neurotic, not obsessed with her career/money/house/car, no smoking or drugs, good family values and most importantly shares a solid chemistry with me.
I moved to Colombia in 2009. In less than 2 years I've lived here I have corresponded with hundreds of women and met dozens of them on Skype or for coffee or drinks. From that pool of women I have had 8 girlfriends ranging from 4 days to 4 months. Out of the 8 there are 6 that after knowing them a few days I considered them to be "wife material".
In the US I was averaging 1 girlfriend for 1 month every other year. Conversely, in Colombia my calendar has been full and I've had a terrific time meeting some really wonderful women. Now I am in a committed relationship with a Colombiana and we're planning our wedding for early December of this year.
When I came to Colombia I read all the forums and threads about how easy it is to fall in love here, so I promised myself 1 full year as a single guy before committing. I'm really glad I waited. Five times I could have been in a long term relationship but something held me back each time and now I have the one I want.
Interestingly, this lady is one of the first ones I met through Colombian cupid when I came to Colombia nearly two years ago. But, at the time I wasn't ready to commit and she was just starting a Master's program and was somewhat distracted. We stayed in touch as pen pals for over a year and then suddenly the penny dropped for both of us.

[Chris F]

Hey Conrats AndyLee on finding your soul mate!! You lived there  and took your time and I am sure it's going to pay off big time for you.
If you  don't mind me asking, could you give us a little background on the future Mrs. Andy Lee?  How old is she? Where did you meet her? What city is she from?
Again.....congrats!!!!!
 
 

[whitey]

Now I am in a committed relationship with a Colombiana and we're planning our wedding for early December of this year.

Congrats Andy!

Are you and your fiance planning to live in Colombia?

[beginthebeguin]

Well, Andy it is about time you dropped the other shoe. I just knew that when you went 'off the radar' for a while you were hooked. Ya just liked keeping us all in suspense. jajajajaja 

[InnocentVixen]

Interestingly, this lady is one of the first ones I met through Colombian cupid when I came to Colombia nearly two years ago. But, at the time I wasn't ready to commit and she was just starting a Master's program and was somewhat distracted. We stayed in touch as pen pals for over a year and then suddenly the penny dropped for both of us.

It's funny how everyone talks about finding the right one when sometimes you already have don't you think? I am happy for you and your lady, hopefully I will end up with a similar story 

[Researcher]

    Congrats to AndyLee.Best of luck to you and your lady!

     Researcher

[jb]

Congrats Andy!!!

[sticky2]

Ok, here's my opinion..... There is something really wrong with the way American women value men here.  They take us for granted, constantly complain about us, blame all things that aren't right in their life on their boyfriend/husband, and it seems that at times they merely "tolerate" our existence as their only source for sperm and money.


In my trips to Peru and Colombia, I realized that there are entire cultures out there that actually think I (as a man) am important.  They actually place a high value on what I bring to the table as a provider, protector, and leader.


Being brutally honest, for me it all boils down to feeling like I have value to women.  Here, I don't feel like women want me.  In South America, its the exact opposite.