longevity in a marriage

[opusone]

Hello Gentlemen,


Quick question... Do you guys think that a marriage would last longer if you and your latin wife stayed in her country as opposed to bringing her back to yours? If so, is it because of the influences, (new friends who interfere, greed, american way of life) or the fact that she cannot identify as much with our culture/language etc., and would therefore opt out much quicker?

[Jeff S]

My guess is that she'd stick with you longer than if she were home where she had many more options, more first hand input from friends and family, more places to go, and so on. Being a stranger in a strange land, you tend to work harder to make everything work out because of the uncertainty of what will happen if you don't. I don't have ant statistics on that, it's just a gut reaction.

[braziliangirl]

I've never been married, so I may not be qualified to answer that. But I agree with Jeff. When there are not many options, people tend to do the right thing (in my opinion) and put much more effort in making things work.  Maybe that's why arranged marriages tend to be more successful. I don't have the numbers, but I've seen researches showing that not only they last much longer, but couples also claim to be more happy.

[opusone]

Thanks for the reply Jeff & braziliangirl...but if we were to turn that opinion on its head, don't you think the one who is willing to give up all of the comforts of home is more than likely to stay with you since you're all that she would have if she left. (exclude greencard sharks)

[braziliangirl]

Thanks for the reply Jeff & braziliangirl...but if we were to turn that opinion on its head, don't you think the one who is willing to give up all of the comforts of home is more than likely to stay with you since you're all that she would have if she left. (exclude greencard sharks)

That's something that almost annoys me. You guys have to remember that the decision to leave home is also hers. The biggest issue is to find out why is she taking that decision. Many girls don't have any "comfort" at home and just want to leave because they want a better life financially-wise. Those are the ones you should avoid, and try to find one that will be willing to give up her country for you. Because she loves you. Not the idea of living in Wonderland.

[robert angel]

Hello Gentlemen,


Quick question... Do you guys think that a marriage would last longer if you and your latin wife stayed in her country as opposed to bringing her back to yours? If so, is it because of the influences, (new friends who interfere, greed, american way of life) or the fact that she cannot identify as much with our culture/language etc., and would therefore opt out much quicker?

 
 
Yes and no. If she's of sound mind and not obsessively jealous of the attention you WILL get--from the women who WILL hit on you back in HER country, not having constant, simmering or  it's  not overt, jealousy, always eating at her---that will help your chances greatly for a long relationship in her country compared to here, I 'think'.
 
 
 
Consequently if you have the self discipline to resist that almost constant availability of women other than your wife and can keep your pants up, I think living in her country probably would again last longer, hypothetically speaking.
 
I am an incorrigble flirt and it's very rare that I can't strike up a converation with the most beautiful of women. I'm not quite as charming or half as handsome as my older son, (my younger son is maybe even better looking and more 'suave') who self admits (so modestly--lol) "I could sell fire to the devil", but I know when to stop. I realize that  "You (me anyway) can look, talk a bit, but never touch and NEVER ask for her phone number! My wife sometimes rolls her eyes and realizes I may 'flirt' but is secure in knowing I won't take it beyond that. If we're running late--she may get a bit mad if I linger with 'Ms. Universe' for too long or God forbid, ignore my her all together. She knows she's VERY attractive and if I was a TOTAL jerk, she could, without even flirting, have guys falling all over her. But, she will rarely look in the direction of a even a very handome, well dressed man, or if she sees him, she averts her eyes. So far, so good!

 
 
I don't care how 'grounded'  a woman--especially an attractive one is, moving to the USA WILL change her. Change happens everywhere--in every nation regardless and often money --more and more of it, actually makes things worse, rather than better., It takes a special woman to resist changing to a measurable degree in the USA, with a worst case scenario, her turning into what my wife refers to as 'an American beeetch"

 
 
And my wife's pretty much good as gold and a whole lot more consistent than gold's price at that, despite me sometimes taking that for granted and 'pushing limits' with her, because she's always so damn sweeet (well almost always, until I do her wrong (which I sometimes do) or maybe for a certain 4 or 5 days out of each month, regardless....

 
 
She sometimes teases me when I see her acting a little different than she would back home, or even here after six years and with American citizenship for almost four years, when I call her out, saying: "That's not how you'd act/do it back home--I ought to call your parents!" (in a fun way) and she'll laugh and say 'Don't forget --I'm an American beeetch now' and you've taught me your bad habits your self!". Thank goodness, she isn't 1% as bad as that sounds, in real life.

 
 
But I have seen foreign brides come here and change in the worst ways--materialism, selfish, self centered and thinking how much hotter and exotic they are here than back home, about how they could easily 'up grade' to a more handsome, younger and richer guy. Then they start to 'look down' on their husband and it's all down hill from there---I need not elaborate. I've see women (and men) become more (North) American than the actual native born American women/men and that is NOT good for any long term out look. That risk factor is as old as immigration itself.
 
I go to Atlanta and see all these young Asian teens and their older counter parts, driving $100,000 German luxury sports cars and wonder with all the killer Asian luxury liner cars and red hot performing, sexy as all get out Asian equivilent cars available why they don't support their own nations over Europe-or at least their adopted nation--the USA, as these same people run around, flaunting all their 'status symbols' as they smoke, do 'designer drugs', night clubbbing, getting drunk to the point where they step outside to puke, then come back in for more, swearing and even getting into fist fights and I think "They're sure not in Hanoi or Manila anymore!

 
 
IF WE  COULD, we'd see what living in her country 10 or 11 months a year and coming back to the USA every year or two, and in years we don't come back to the USA, travel to other places would be like. But for a number of reasons, money being the major one, that's not 'in the cards for at least several years yet, unless we want to live a bit more 'low budget' than we'd like to. And we don't expect or really want to live like we're 'rich' over there--that's never been our style anyway.--we just want to be comfortable, with some savings, in case there's an emergency, whether it's major house repairs, a death or illness in the family here or there--there's a lot of things to consider. I've never been much of a planner, but in a case like this, I'd 'sweat the details'.

 
 
It all boils down to your situation and if you can have the lifestyle you think will suit you, as well the individual--both you and her, and how you're both inclined to behave under various circumstances--how you'll grow--or become more or less responsible and mature--as time goes by......
 
 
99% of people who move overseas probably think 'Oh it won't change me, or my spouse--we are what and who we are already". But I'll bet that that same 99.9% of the time, we do change. When you're in Rome, you typically come to act as the Romans do after a while. The same is typical of other parts of the world as well.

[opusone]

I don't care how 'grounded' she is, moving to the USA WILL change her. Change happens everywhere--in every nation regardless and often money --more and more of it, actually makes things worse, rather than better., It takes a special woman to resist changing to a measurable degree in the USA, with a worst case scenario, her turning into what my wife refers to as 'an American beeetch"


This statement is as good as the finest wine. I spent years in the south of Brazil and I saw the changes in the culture as the global octopus took hold.  Robert, does your wife live here, and is she resistant to change? If so, how long did it take for her to control her hardwired impulses? 

[braziliangirl]

I don't care how 'grounded'  a woman--especially an attractive one is, moving to the USA WILL change her. Change happens everywhere--in every nation regardless and often money --more and more of it, actually makes things worse, rather than better., It takes a special woman to resist changing to a measurable degree in the USA, with a worst case scenario, her turning into what my wife refers to as 'an American beeetch"

(...)
 
But I have seen foreign brides come here and change in the worst ways--materialism, selfish, self centered and thinking how much hotter and exotic they are here than back home, about how they could easily 'up grade' to a more handsome, younger and richer guy. Then they start to 'look down' on their husband and it's all down hill from there---I need not elaborate. I've see women (and men) become more (North) American than the actual native born American women/men and that is NOT good for any long term out look. That risk factor is as old as immigration itself.

That's why I stress that you have to make sure she is moving because of you, not just because of the lifestyle you can provide, since if it's because of the latter, she will always be tempted to 'up grade'.

I'm just not sure about how you can be sure of such thing.

[opusone]

They are all tempted to upgrade aren't they? I just wanted to know how Colombians were since I am about to make a decision.

[robert angel]

Thanks, Opusone,
 
I did some edits above, because as typical, my post wasn't long enough --yea right!--so there's some more 'poop' up there, you might find interesting.

 
But yea-she's lived here in the USA about 6 years now, works in one of the best schools by day and some nights, for some extra money to basically cover sibling's back home university tuition costs, she works as the Manager at a high profile restaurant. So she's on her own, away from me, with a lot of temptation a lot of the time. Guys pretend they don't see her wedding ring and sometimes (too often) ask her out or at least for her phone number, or say: "Do you have a sister who ISN'T married?".

 
She responds, lifting her left hand, with a demure smile, in a manner I like to think is seen in the best of Filipino women, typically says "I'm sorry, but I'm married sir, but thank you anyway". She disarms them quickly with logic and honesty and they typically are somewhat flabbergasted and run out of more things to say at that point. I wish she'd say something  a little more like, "Get a life, you mangy, toothless whore monger!" but she just hasn't learned that from me yet!

 
She comes home and we might talk about it, along with a 100 other things, and we have a good laugh. I assume she tells me everything, or near to it, but there are other operations, employees and managers thereabouts who when they see me, tell me how moral she is and how hard she works, yet how she's is always kind--even under high pressure, like when she has to fire somebody, going over their performance evals, always 'by the book'. Then sometimes, she goes into her office and cries for a few minutes, because she knows that person probably really needed that job.

 
So, yes--with the right lady--you can let her out of the house-out of your sight here in the USA--you don't need to keep her home, bare foot and pregnant after all!!

 
Sometimes, there will be that rare a hole who won't quit, who complains about everything although it's actually perfect, as an excuse for another chance to 'hit on her' and demands to see her--"The Manager" trying to undress her with his eyes and then goes into a slightly different rendition of what is still basically the same horny male dog, come on 'song and dance' and she can ratchet up her assertiveness and ever so slightly lower the charming politeness, typically saying something like Sir---I"ll send you our best service manager to make sure your entree--or whatever--is "as best as can be, --or it's on the house" so she doesn't have to deal with the clown.

 
Will this wonderful person stay this way 5, 10 years from now in America, a country that seems to be falling apart at the seams and where even she notices how people seem more unhappy and complain more than when she got here? I don't know--I was married to a Filipina before--and granted she had a very, very different upbringing as an orphan, whereas my wife comes from a poor, big, super loving, tight knit family (that makes a big difference a most of the time) The first marriage was a rough 14 years. I tend to believe nothing lasts forever, change is inevitable and I hope and pray our changes are for the better, not for worse and we stay together a long, long time, But who knows? I used to be a lot less cynical. I'm still a romantic kind of guy--but battled hardened. A nasty divorce, with beautiful children, money and property to fight over, can make you that way, if you let it.

 
Like I said--coming to the USA for a significant amount of time-living here, paying taxes--seeing all the 'disposable relationships' 'quickie divorces', advertised for $99.99, the lawyers on TV, begging you to let them make you rich, basically saying "slip and fall--then call!:--the lack of family unity--how two thirds of the children in her class are all too often tortured little monsters, VERY foreign to the children she knows back home or with adults, the way even employees feel like 'warm bodies, capable of quick and easy replacement'--that can rub off on anyone after a while--take a toll, if you will, even on people of the best sort.
 
 
I've seen changes in my wife from all that and more may come and I might also be to blame if and when they turn for the worse. I might sound like a really nice guy who waxes poetic, but these are my words--MY side of the story. If you asked her, (not that she's say anything bad--it's not her way) or my kids, (now THEY'LL tell you)--the fact is that there are times when I'm far from being 'Mr. Nice Guy"-- but she's still a remarkable lady here and now.
 
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present--a GIFT"

[opusone]

Well said , Robert...one last question...do you think men create the monster,(bringing the women here, making her wise to the system), or is the monster already there but you have a short leash on it?

[fathertime]

Hello Gentlemen,


Quick question... Do you guys think that a marriage would last longer if you and your latin wife stayed in her country as opposed to bringing her back to yours? If so, is it because of the influences, (new friends who interfere, greed, american way of life) or the fact that she cannot identify as much with our culture/language etc., and would therefore opt out much quicker?

FOR ME, I think it is better for our marriage here in the states.  I don't want to be surrounded by temptation every day, it can contribute to weakening resolve within a marriage. 


Fathertime!   

[Jeff S]

I don't care how 'grounded' she is, moving to the USA WILL change her. Change happens everywhere--in every nation regardless and often money --more and more of it, actually makes things worse, rather than better., It takes a special woman to resist changing to a measurable degree in the USA, with a worst case scenario, her turning into what my wife refers to as 'an American beeetch"


This statement is as good as the finest wine. I spent years in the south of Brazil and I saw the changes in the culture as the global octopus took hold.  Robert, does your wife live here, and is she resistant to change? If so, how long did it take for her to control her hardwired impulses? 

Huh? I have no idea what you just said, but I think it is something like, if someone is poor and later gets money, their values go all to hell. If that is what you are trying to say, I would strongly disagree with that. You have the cause and effect bass ackwards. If someone has poor values in the first place, money they never had before will allow them more freedom to express their lopsided values.


What are these "hardwired impulses" of which you speak?


My wife has been here 25 years and hasn't changed her values one iota. Of course she wasn't from a poor barrio in the third world, but I think that is irrelevant. Values are values, rich or poor.

[robert angel]

Opusone,
 
 
No yes or no answer there either. Sure, if you don't bring her here, she obviously won't see some of the best (and I do love my country) things, or more importantly, the worse things that might have in your eyes, a negative impact..

 
If you bring her here and like some couples, have reached a mutual agreement that she stay at home and be a home maker---it better be an 'agreement' that she thought about thoroughly and REALLY embraces--not simply agreeing with you to make you happy and to get her butt over here. Discuss it early on and revisit it, discussing the 'pros and cons' If that's done, in that case, I would think the risk of her being influenced by 'bad influences' would be minimized.

 
If you don't have children together and maybe even if you do, she may still come to feel like a 'prisoner'-a caged bird' if you will and that might be a problem yet. Most of the women from the Latin and Asian areas are pretty social beings and some of the saddest ladies I've heard about were ones in very isolated places--like wayyy out in desolate sections of some western states. But there are places in most states--out in the country side, often where the farms are large, where the nearest neighbor may be a mile or more away.
 
 
 
Then again, I live in a subdivision where there are a lot of homes close to each other and hardly anybody knows anybody and if they do, 'socialization' is minimal. In most countries, that's kind of weird-very 'foreign'.
 

 
Truth be said, as much as I see foreign wives sometimes change in ways that don't positively impact the marriage, it's as often the case within some nationalities that it's the women from their own nationality, most of whom have been here a long time, who can be the worst influences.
 
 
 
They're the ones who typically start with seemingly innocuous questions that pry into what should be hers (and your) private lives. Then once they've got their hand in that 'crack' they've created, the gossip gathering and the embellishing of the gossip starts.
 

By that time, they've already measured you by everything from your clothes, phone and wristwatch, to what you drive, where you live, if you have kids, where they go to school and last but not least on this partial listing, what her husband does, how old he is, what kind of job he has etc.

 
Remember me saying (in somewhat different word) that they become more American than the Americans themselves and even worse in some ways?
 
 
Sometimes, you're just damned if do, damned if you don't.

 
So we don't hang out with a lot of other people, period. We have some good friends, including a few Filipinos American couples we go out with, take mini out of town vacations with and my wife knows the whole population--there's probably hundreds of Fil Am couples here, but she refuses to even discuss any problems we might have with even the few--really the TWO Filipinas she's closest to, because things still have a way of 'getting out' and like I said 'embellished'--built upon, until it's basically gossipy lies that people want to believe are true and like that great line in the song "Billy Jean is not my lover" (M.J.)

 
"be careful what you do because the lie becomes the truth" & 'just remember to always think twice-do think twice, do think twice---hey, hey, hey....
 

Not to a be a bore, my wife pipes in with her friends when they grumble and perhaps even say nasty things about other people, their husbands--their sex lives, or lack thereof, etc. Crap like that is just too juicy for a lot of people to keep to themselves and my wife knows it. But again--not to be some 'Pilipino Polly Anna' she might 'contribute' something REALLY shocking, like how I went to the Walmart, 3 miles away just to get a gallon of milk and came back two hours later, with $30 of magazines about guns, fishing, etc. I mean the horror! Or if that's not juicy enough, how she caught me looking through our file cabinet so I don't forget our wedding anniversary date (I'm awful with dates) .
 
 
A 'story like "Oh--that Robert can't even remember his wedding anniversary date" soon becomes "Robert completely FORGOT his own wife's anniversary date" and then it gets worse--by the time they've gotten 100,000 miles out of it, they're probably saying we're heading for a divorce. Speaking of which---there's always a few Filipinas in the Fil Am clubs with their divorce lawyer's business cards in their purses for them to hand out 'for support and encouragement". Get the message yet?  So she gives them 'just enough dirt' to keep it 'interesting' and from thinking she's a 'snob', (FAR from it) without enough for them to spin it into me being an axe murderer.
 
 
She's so 'not into' all that gossip collecting stuff that even late at night, when we're making small talk, a lot of times, she doesn't even tell ME 'the talk of the town'--the 'Daily Dirt' someone might have dished out to her--she just isn't 'into it'--typically, she's more inclined to think all that crap is a a bummer and we should be laughing, among other things, when awake in bed late at night, making the 'small talk' that means so much to her, along with funny stories (and also some sad ones sometimes) about our families and childhoods--little secrets--'nuggets' shared just between the two of us.
 
 
So while my wife will work at the huge annual Asian Festival in our city and 'talk nice' at church with the naysayers, we don't do all the Fil Am club stuff. Never mind Filipinos, the Irish, who ever, wherever--I think too many friends is just inviting trouble---as circles get interwined, they allow conspiracies to grow like fungus on a tree and sometimes, the tree dies or certainly isn't healthy. It even happens on Facebook nowadays.
 
 
I don't think I've ever had more close friends--people I confide important facts with, nor my secrets, skeletons, if you will, than I have fingers on my right hand. And I probably never will. And she's the same way too, if not more so, than me.
 
 
So to paraphrase your question: did man make the monster or was the monster already there ?  That's almost akin to: what came first---'the chicken or the egg?'
 
 
It's irrelevant, as chickens and monsters are all around us and have been for 1000's of years. The sad fact is that the monster is inside all of us. How much of it we let out--that's the real issue! And if you let TOO much of the monster IN or OUT--the chickens will all come to your house too roost eventually and you'll have a lot of chicken shyt to deal with!

[utopiacowboy]

There is no way you should be married and live in her country - it's completely pointless to do so. You would have so many women offering themselves to you, you could have a different one every week, maybe even every day if you've got the appetite for it.

[robert angel]

There is no way you should be married and live in her country - it's completely pointless to do so. You would have so many women offering themselves to you, you could have a different one every week, maybe even every day if you've got the appetite for it.


 

 
So true. That's why I sometimes stay up at night thinking---if we move there, could I resist the daily temptations? Pretty much every guy I know who's moved to his wife's country has had to battle this issue.


FURTHERMORE, the guys who can't help but give in, inevitably get caught and it's just a helluva a lot of grief to deal with and things are never the same after you've stepped over that line--they typically get worse.


And to get down to the brass tacks, if you step over that line and she decides to fly back to the USA and divorce you--you may find your savings--even the pension you worked for for 30 years, maybe even including 20 or so years before you even MET your wife--the monies you hoped to collect for the rest of your life, cut in half by some judge, effectively turning the standard of living for your 'golden years' into 'tin metal years.'


Might help to remember what the late Paul Newman, who was married to the same woman for 50 years, said:


>>As Mr. Newman told Playboy magazine, in an often-repeated quotation about marital fidelity, "I have steak at home; why go out for hamburger?" <<


Now THAT's 'food for thought!'


>>Consequently, if you have the self discipline to resist that almost constant availability of women other than your wife and can keep your pants up, I think living in her country probably would again last longer, hypothetically speaking<<<


Be careful what you wish for......

[maritime04]

That’s allotting of food for thought. The question is open ended, with no real answer. People change; and money/power can easily change or corrupt anyone, we have all heard the saying. We have all heard the stories. Many different opinions on it but I think the best answers can be found in your own behavior

So I will reverse the question, how has either living in the “third world” with all the abundance of WOMEN, who want to meet and date you ;CHANGED YOU? I mean I have heard many guys here explain how they went from ZERO dating to have all the choices in the world. So what does that environment due to the normal American mans mind? For those that are wife hunting how has the process changed your view of the world? Women? And life in general? Are you more picky and choosey, how and why?
 

[robert angel]

Once you've gone from living in the USA, if you're single and if in terms of age, you're in your 20's or even more so, say in your, 30's, 40's 50's 60's +, and then you've gone to another country where the woman, many younger than you--or even your own age or a few years older, are so nice, pretty and AVAILABLE, it changes your mindset forever, in my opinion. Maybe from a dating--trying to find a mate here perspective, it even spoils it for you.
 
 
I'd say it's even worse if your an American guy, say in his mid 30's+ --past doing the 'bar scene' which probably never produced many great ladies to start with. But now the few who 'chanced' to go out with the girls--I mean the sweet girls who dared go to a night club once in a while-'the keepers'--they're all happily married, and being the best ones, still are probably married, with 2 or 3 kids, driving them to soccer games, music lessons--maybe waiting for that first grand child if they're older, etc., living in a house with the white picket fence--the whole shebang. Ozzie and Harriet, Ward and June Beaver, 2011 style.
 
 
So let's say that realizing how the good fruit's all been picked in your location and you've been to and come back from, overseas, to a place/s where in terms of women, they're like the ultimate candy shop on a scale worthy of Disney World, plus Willy Wonka's candy factory--full of 'magically delicious' women, not only eye catching, but hoping to catch YOUR eye, and there's more than you could get tired of seeing in a lifetime.
 
 
Then--it's back to the USA (I know we have some guys from other nations too--but it's probably similar) and all of a sudden, these woman 'back home' seem even worse than they did before.
 
Most (not all) are like over inflated hot air balloons, physically and mentally. They've become like last week's oatmeal. Then to add insult to injury--if you go out on 15 or 20 dates, most bummers, having gone nowhere, that might cost you what a ticket back to L.A. or Asia would!
 
So basically you're back home, stuck with the dregs, the bottom of the barrel--the fat ones who think they're thin and sexy, for some crazy reason. A lot of them smoke and drink and are deep in credit card debt. Many have awfully raised kids, made worse from one or more divorces. Damaged goods all around, yourself included.
 
I have a buddy who for 7 out of the last 8 years, has gone to Thailand for  month or two each year. Good looking guy, well mannered, 6 ft tall, good job, works out, drives a Vette, has no kids--a 'catch', you'd think for most women. In the eight years since, as far as I know, this guy hasn't dated a single American women. Sure, being in the same line of work as me and guys being guys, we comment on 'who's hot and who's not' regarding the women around us, but he doesn't want to get involved with the women here anymore.
 
On the one hand, he's not a 'one date or one night stand' kinda guy (here in the USA anyway) on the other hand, he doesn't want to get tied up with even the cuter, nicer women we see, because they're typically coming off at least their first marriage, with kids and baggage that's chock full of dramas. So he saves his money for that month or two where he can go back to 'The land of Smiles' and live like he's got 'the world on a string'.
 
In the 6, close to 7 years between my first and second marriage, I tried--I really did--Match.com, E harmony--a few forays into bars, etc. But few women here really caught my interest and none kept it for very long and that's before I even went overseas with women intently in mind.
 
Once I flew across the 'big puddle' with women on my mind, my mind and my body's hormonal chemistry were changed for ever and from beyond a 'male and female' persepective, it was also good for my mind--as I think traveling broadens your perspectives and appreciation of life in general, both here and abroad.
 
 
You can read the National Geographic (great magazine) all you want from your arm chair and marvel at the natural wonders of Yellowstone, the grandness of a NYC or Tokyo, the beauty of women overseas and their unique cultures in far way places and a whole lot more. But until you hop on that plane and go there, you're still living in a one dimensional world, missing out on an awful lot.
 
Just do it!
 
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. 
 

[utopiacowboy]

Only a moron would live in a Third World country and get married. Go native.

[whitey]

So I will reverse the question, how has either living in the “third world” with all the abundance of WOMEN, who want to meet and date you ;CHANGED YOU? I mean I have heard many guys here explain how they went from ZERO dating to have all the choices in the world. So what does that environment due to the normal American mans mind? For those that are wife hunting how has the process changed your view of the world? Women? And life in general? Are you more picky and choosey, how and why?

Yes, it's completely changed my perspective on women, what is attainable, what we deserve to get out of a relationship.

I could not EVER imagine myself dating a North American woman again.  I would rather stay at home and stick hot needles in my eyes.  I can barely stand to look or talk to them in a social context (of course, no problems in a work setting - they are just like other guys as far as I'm concerned).

The only women I find attractive here in Canada are noticably from other countries/cultures, like Latin America (of course!), Asia, Africa, Lebanon, Persia, etc.

[robert angel]

Dear Whitey,
 
RE:
 
>>I could not EVER imagine myself dating a North American woman again. I would rather stay at home and stick hot needles in my eyes. I can barely stand to look or talk to them in a social context<<
 
Pity my virgin eyes! Did you not accidently mistake the white vinegar for clean, healthy water when you make your coffee this morning??
 
If NOT young man, you've just earned yourself one Saturday school detention, at the "Our Lady of Great Agony Reformatory School for Warped Boys".
 
With a sweet, BEAUTIFUL babe like you've got, fella, you're gonna need dem eyes for a LONG time!
 
Somebody remind me to send Whitey a voo doo doll and some pins!
 
BTW--Whitey--get ur hiney over to Hortons, for some REAL coffee! 
 
 
 

[whitey]

Dear Whitey,
 
RE:
 
>>I could not EVER imagine myself dating a North American woman again. I would rather stay at home and stick hot needles in my eyes. I can barely stand to look or talk to them in a social context<<
 
Pity my virgin eyes! Did you not accidently mistake the white vinegar for clean, healthy water when you make your coffee this morning??
 
If NOT young man, you've just earned yourself one Saturday school detention, at the "Our Lady of Great Agony Reformatory School for Warped Boys".
 
With a sweet, BEAUTIFUL babe like you've got, fella, you're gonna need dem eyes for a LONG time!
 
Somebody remind me to send Whitey a voo doo doll and some pins!
 
BTW--Whitey--get ur hiney over to Hortons, for some REAL coffee! 

Haha ... sorry Rob ... a little too harsh/graphic?

Yesterday afternoon/evening I rode my bicycle to a nice park downtown where this weekend we have the Home County Folk Festival.  Lot's of good folk music, food vendors, artisans, and thousands of people.  In the course of several hours, I didn't see ONE woman that was attractive ... most were overweight, looked liked they just got out of bed (no makeup, hair not done), smoking, covered in tattoos or piercings, etc.

I could quite literally sit down at a table in the food court at BuenaVista mall in Barranquilla and in the space of a half hour see at least a couple dozen very attractive young ladies and women of all ages, including those with kids.  All would be dressed up to look attractive (even if it would normally be just a pair of jeans and nice top), with makeup, and often as not with high heels.

Sigh ...

I'm probably going through withdrawal.  It's been 2 months since I've seen my wife, and I've just started a new job so it will be another 3 months at least before I can get away.  With luck, her visa will probably be approved by then, so the next time we see each other may be in the airport in Toronto.
 

[utopiacowboy]

Haha ... sorry Rob ... a little too harsh/graphic?

Yesterday afternoon/evening I rode my bicycle to a nice park downtown where this weekend we have the Home County Folk Festival.  Lot's of good folk music, food vendors, artisans, and thousands of people.  In the course of several hours, I didn't see ONE woman that was attractive ... most were overweight, looked liked they just got out of bed (no makeup, hair not done), smoking, covered in tattoos or piercings, etc.

I could quite literally sit down at a table in the food court at BuenaVista mall in Barranquilla and in the space of a half hour see at least a couple dozen very attractive young ladies and women of all ages, including those with kids.  All would be dressed up to look attractive (even if it would normally be just a pair of jeans and nice top), with makeup, and often as not with high heels.

Sigh ...

I'm probably going through withdrawal.  It's been 2 months since I've seen my wife, and I've just started a new job so it will be another 3 months at least before I can get away.  With luck, her visa will probably be approved by then, so the next time we see each other may be in the airport in Toronto.

As usual, very good post, Whitey.

[benjio]

Everything that makes you "a catch" in a foreign country disapears as soon as you bring a foreign girl back home. On the other hand, because of exactly what Whitey described, your new wife's stock will rise exponentially as soon as she gets here. The question here is how much she really loves you. If it's true love...you can take her anywhere in the world and the relationship should be the same.

[Jeff S]

Everything that makes you "a catch" in a foreign country disapears as soon as you bring a foreign girl back home. On the other hand, because of exactly what Whitey described, your new wife's stock will rise exponentially as soon as she gets here. The question here is how much she really loves you. If it's true love...you can take her anywhere in the world and the relationship should be the same.

That's an odd thing to say. You must have very low self esteem. Everything that makes ME a catch in a foreign country apply doubly in the US.