Lovely Vietnamese girl but......

[Bob_S]

I've seen--or found out, that girls from even the prestigious Ateneo University there sometimes 'turn themselves out'--some for money, some for a vicarious 'thrill' with a foreigner, I really don't know. I hear even in Japan, some financially well off young ladies will do it to generate cash for that Chanel of Louis Vuitton purse they so desire--that might otherwise be a bit out of their price range.

Yep.  If she's wearing name brand clothes with name brand accessories, the ojosama (little princess) probably has a rich daddy working for a big name company.  But if she's wearing cheaper brand clothes with name brand accessories, she may be practicing a little enjokosai (compensated dating).  And if she's wearing a school girl sailor uniform but looks older than 18?  You can guess who her customer base is.   

Even in Japan where high end hostess girls do not necessarily engage in get-naked prostitution, they still must as part of their job socialize with men who smoke and drink a lot and stay up all night.  So the girls must smoke and drink a lot and stay out all night.  It becomes a habit too hard to break when they are older.  So you gotta make a judgment: are those habits you want in a wife or the mother of your children?

[piglett]

Guys...


I genuinely thank you from the heart on this one.   I really think each of you could probably be successful psychologists with the information I'm reading here!!   


Deep down I think I probably knew every item you guys all hit on in your comments....  and you're all right in your assessment I think.    I was just hoping I could be the one to maybe change her.   


I did discuss the child option with her saying that I would happily be a father to her little son.   The one thing that gives me just a glimmer of hope.....  is that she just doesn't seem like the type to do this, but.....  she does.   


I know there are so many other women out there in Asia land.   Why did this one have to have the perfect smile for me and have such a sweetheart of a personality.


I have bid for more trips next month to Malaysia so hopefully I can get a better sense of things like... how long she's been doing this and maybe how engrained it is in her.     I just really would like to take care of her and make it all ok.    Ya, ya... I know:  The White Knight syndrome.   


Ughhhhhhhhhhhh


Thanks guys.   


FB

Man here is my two cents worth
don't try to play the captain save a hoe role
there are 50 million good Asian chicks out there why do you need damaged goods
 
sorry to be blunt but that is what i do here
i lay it out straight
 
 
best of luck
piglett

[Flyboy777]

Just a short update... and not really much new:


I've talked to her on the phone (Skype) and texted her numerous times.   She still would enjoy me coming to visit her and doesn't want my money for her time.   


Every point you guys make is absolutely spot on.... I can't really argue with any of your logic.
But........   Logic is black and white, "Spock" like, while romance, relationships, feelings are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum to logic.  I guess what can define us all is how we handle that "gray" area of both thoughts being right and both thoughts not being right. 


I've usually been a guy who can sometimes over-research something... over analyze.   Since I get to go to her city on the company dime so to speak, I think it's worth at minimum spending as much time with her as I can.   I believe that if she has less than good intentions with me, they will come out eventually during our time together just as they do any of you when you meet a woman whatever country she comes from.  Yes I know some women can hide their bad side for a while.  But I've been around the block a little in my 52 years so I anticipate picking up on it.... getting that "funny feeling" in your gut that it's time to move on and go no further.    Each of you have had that I'm certain. 


Still open to more thoughts, but I'm fully aware most of the responses are favoring moving on sooner rather than later.   


K

[michaelb]

Still open to more thoughts.   

1, If your airline has any routes that don't go to Kuala Lumpur, ask to be assigned to one of them.

2. If your airline does not have any such a routes, find an airline that does, even if they take you out of your 777 and give you a Beech-18.

[Ray]

She still would enjoy me coming to visit her and doesn't want my money for her time.

 
OK, I’ve heard that before. Does that mean she will refuse to accept any money or gifts from you, or does it mean that she won’t ask you for anything?
 
Why not put that to the test. If you see her, do not give her one thin dime. Do not give her any gifts. Do not spend any substantial sum of money on her, for lunch, dinner, etc. Be the biggest cheapskate on the planet. Completely leave money out of the relationship and see just how interested she is in you as a person after a while.
 
Have you looked into the immigration requirements for your country to see if ladies who have engaged in prostitution are excluded?
 
Ray
　

[Flyboy777]

Ray...


I am sarcastically saying to you...  "Seriously?"   


If ANY man in any country in the world treated a woman that way... humanity would pretty much come to an end.   No procreation!   


C'mon....   while I understand your point, if I was to take it to THAT extreme, I'd certainly be (and every other man in the entire universe) single forever!    That's not what the end result here is, remember. 


I'm ribbing you a bit in fun, but that's really overboard don't ya think......?

[Researcher]

Every point you guys make is absolutely spot on.... I can't really argue with any of your logic.
But........   Logic is black and white, "Spock" like, while romance, relationships, feelings are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum to logic.  I guess what can define us all is how we handle that "gray" area of both thoughts being right and both thoughts not being right. 


I've usually been a guy who can sometimes over-research something... over analyze.   Since I get to go to her city on the company dime so to speak, I think it's worth at minimum spending as much time with her as I can.   I believe that if she has less than good intentions with me, they will come out eventually during our time together just as they do any of you when you meet a woman whatever country she comes from.  Yes I know some women can hide their bad side for a while.  But I've been around the block a little in my 52 years so I anticipate picking up on it.... getting that "funny feeling" in your gut that it's time to move on and go no further.    Each of you have had that I'm certain. 



K

        If anyone has ever wondered how someone can get involved with a scammer, green card shark or any other undesirable situation the above post explains alot.Even though there have been several logical explanations as to why Flyboy should move on he continues to make excuses as to why he should continue.The "love or romance isn't logical" argument clouds the water.Sure a person should be considered legally insane when they are in love because they are insane!!! Logic goes out the window.I've made some dumb decisions myself in this state of mind until I realized that logic is necessary in this situation.After being burned badly I learned that to be with a woman the situation had to make sense in my heart and my head(the big head).

     Sorry Flyboy but I think by staying with this woman you are making a mistake.There are tons of single women in the world.Many of them are awesome and have never sold their bodies.You have access to them but you are choosing to be with a prostitute.Your judgement, is obviosly clouded, no eclipsed by a nasty concoction of love and hormones.Run like the wind!

      The typical answer from someone in this situation is "how do you know we won't get married and live happily ever after" and I don't know that for sure, it is possible.But why choose a woman that is a prostitute from an entire world of women? This isn't the only woman out there you could feel this way about.Truth is there are probably many women out there you could have something better with and by sticking with this woman you are keeping yourself from finding that.

      Good luck to you whatever you decide.

     So if anyone wonders how a guy can get himself in a bad situation or allow himself to be scammed there is "The Smoking Gun".When you get involved with someone and fall into love/lust all logic goes out the window.Here come the bad decisions, excuses and the belief that you can "handle it".

       Researcher

[robert angel]

Re:
 
>>(to Ray) I'm ribbing you a bit in fun, but that's really overboard don't ya think......?<<
 
Overboard? Ray??? in our lifetime?  hahaha--
 
I heard that Ray used to work at Grand Canyon National Park and he volunteered to climb underneath the observation decks along the canyon's rims, to check for mud wasp nests! So yea--the guy DEFINITELY goes overboard!
 
As a matter of fact, rumor has it that as P-L's resident 'junk yard dog', that Dan even has a leash he occasionally pulls out for Ray at times, but then Ray show's dem gnarly teeth' (somedays I WONDER what Ray's Asawa fixed him for breakfast that day) and it's such a bitch putting that dang leash thing on anyhow, so he STILL goes around biting people.
 
Half of those he bites (and again, yes, IMO--he DOES go wayy overboard at times,) they probably need a good bite or two anyway-the other third, I personally don't think do--but hey as whole, half plus a third ain't that bad, unless you're a Math teacher, that is.
 
As I think Yogi Berra  (who was probably beter at Math than I ever was) said, "It's 99% physical--the other half is mental." I think in your case, the the equation is letting the physical factor over weigh the mental, on your end, anyway. She might be running a better physical and mental game on you in this case. It happened to Samson and Deliiah! Don't let it bring the whole house down!
 
F.B., I think unless you're highly delusional and based on my limited reading here. I think you're a bit delusional but not necessarily 'highly'---and that Ray (along with all the other guys, here, probably to a one) well--we're either ruining your dream or saving you from a nightmare and you need to 'face the music'.
 
Man o live--if I was sailor, or better yet, a guy flying around the planet, wearing snazzy uniforms, I'd think the 'pickins' would be a lot better and no pun intended, but would also come a lot more 'easy' than this dame!
 
I'd LOVE to see a picture of this babe, but she's probably sooo hot looking, she'd burn my eye balls!
 
Look, F.B., we do sometimes bust each others balls here a wee bit, but I think I can say in good faith that's not the case here--that we think that it's a case of infatuation overriding logic and we're trying to save you from yourself!  (insert bitch slap sound here)
 
Or as you, yourself and you, put it so well: "Logic is black and white, "Spock" like, while romance, relationships, feelings are at the complete opposite end of the spectrum to logic"<<<
 
Maybe you ought listen to this one again:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjy8HqrcYys&feature=related
 
In the meantime, get more 'Spockian'!

[piglett]

due to the fact that this ckick can probably never get a visa to your home country anyhow what exactly is the point in trying to go any further with this relationship?
 
dude many before you have come on here crying the blues
"my chick can't get a visa to my country & we are so much in love"
 
unless you plan to move to her country
i just don't see how this will turn out well for you
 
these are the cold hard facts
we here don't make the immigration rules
we just try to bring the newer guys up to speed
so they are better informed than they had been
 
good luck man
piglett

[Researcher]

     Hey Robert,"get more Spockian" indeed.How else can you "live long and prosper"!!


        Researcher

[Ray]

 
Come on Flyboy, do you really beleive that she doesn't want your money?
 
Do you think she is giving you a freebee because she loves you? Why are you afraid to put it to the test?
 
I hate to burst your bubble, but it sounds like this woman is playing you like a fiddle...   
 
Ray
 
 
 
 

[Dave H]

I remember in Davao City, two very cute and young prostitutes trying to set up a 'threeway'. When they realized it wasn't going to happen and the church bells rang, they decided to attend mid day mass instead and strolled into the church."
 

Hey Rob,
 
That's the Philippines alright! I wouldn't be surprised if they would stop in the middle of doing "the act" for noon time prayers. 
 
Dave

[Traveler]

Well, FB, my objective advice in your situation is a firm 'No'.  I am an optimist, and the gal might be one of those "LOE's" with a heart of gold.  And if I was in your place, and I really liked the girl, I might have been extremely tempted.
 
But, you asked for an objective advice.  I am sure if someone else was in your shoes and he asked you the same question, your answer would have been the same as mine.  Just look at it this way.  There are plenty of girls in her situation who did not make the choices she made and chose instead to live with less money and less chance of meeting a kind and understanding wealthy gringo, but retained their dignity and emotional health.  Why not pursue those?  Why not try to find a woman who will be more likely to pass good values to your mutual children?  Why not find someone that you would be able to trust completely?
 
If you choose to pursue a relationship with this lady, well I wish you luck, but be very careful with her on all levels.  Those women often are good actresses.  Most of them have been raped and abused when they were growing up, so she might have intimacy and trust issues, as well as issues with sex.  And also do NOT treat this relationship like you will be rescuing her, being her knight in shiny armor.  Do not expect or demand from her to act like she owes her life to you.  Remember, ultimately she herself chose the life she is living.

[Flyboy777]

Traveler, Researcher and all...


Thanks so much for all the great advice and thoughts, opinions and other comments.... all of which are very much appreciated. 


For some reason, she has stopped answering my texts so I'm not sure what's going on.  Honestly at this point, I'm certainly not holding my breath.   I do however have some leave coming in next month and plan a trip to both Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur and while in KL will go to the club to see if she's still there and maybe get an update.    Again, I'm pretty sure where this is at.


Thanks for the insight guys!


Kap

[michaelb]

For some reason, she has stopped answering my texts so I'm not sure what's going on.

I'll propose three theories:
1. Phone not working.
2. Found a sugar daddy and doesn't want to mess it up.
3. She really does have a hear of gold and is thinking "This is such a nice guy, best thing I can do for him is NOT to mess up his life by letting him be involved with me."

[bcc_1_2]

I'm assuming the OP is completely clueless about the p4p scene.... the bar scene and the excitement of it all is something that is hard (damn near impossible) to shake out of a girl (though I can't say I know from personal experience... just 2nd hand). No mater what kind of lifestyle you could provide for her she'll still be looking for that "rush"

There are so many dynamics in this industry... "the game" that you (and I) aren't even aware of. Plus the legal issues on getting her to the USA were already pointed out to you. Get tested (if needed) and move on.

[piglett]

I'm assuming the OP is completely clueless about the p4p scene.... the bar scene and the excitement of it all is something that is hard (damn near impossible) to shake out of a girl (though I can't say I know from personal experience... just 2nd hand). No mater what kind of lifestyle you could provide for her she'll still be looking for that "rush"

There are so many dynamics in this industry... "the game" that you (and I) aren't even aware of. Plus the legal issues on getting her to the USA were already pointed out to you. Get tested (if needed) and move on.

well said Bcc how are things going on your end? we don't see you much over here, i think you got married didn't you what have you learned/willing to share
 
 
pig

[Researcher]

I'll propose three theories:
1. Phone not working.
2. Found a sugar daddy and doesn't want to mess it up.
3. She really does have a hear of gold and is thinking "This is such a nice guy, best thing I can do for him is NOT to mess up his life by letting him be involved with me."

        Very good theories.I vote for #2.


      Researcher

[jb]

I'll propose three theories:
1. Phone not working.
2. Found a sugar daddy and doesn't want to mess it up.
3. She really does have a hear of gold and is thinking "This is such a nice guy, best thing I can do for him is NOT to mess up his life by letting him be involved with me."

I'll add #4 and #5
#4.  She played the perfect angel (well not so perfect) that any guy would fall for, but it's all a ploy and being suddenly unavailable lets her see how if any emotionally involved he is so she can manipulate him.
#5.  The lifestyle has caught up to her in some way.

I vote for #2, hope it's #3, ponder #4, and hope for her sake it's not #5.

[jb]

Traveler, Researcher and all...


Thanks so much for all the great advice and thoughts, opinions and other comments.... all of which are very much appreciated. 


For some reason, she has stopped answering my texts so I'm not sure what's going on.  Honestly at this point, I'm certainly not holding my breath.   I do however have some leave coming in next month and plan a trip to both Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur and while in KL will go to the club to see if she's still there and maybe get an update.    Again, I'm pretty sure where this is at.


Thanks for the insight guys!


Kap

Fly high Captain, we salute you,
hope you have a great time on the trip.

[Ray]

 
Hey kap,
 
I do hope you will keep us informed of the progress (or lack there of) in this unusual relationship.
 
We haven't had anyone on the forum fall in love with a bar girl for quite a while and I personally find your story fascinating.
 
I wish you luck with this lady but I'm not holding my breath...   
 
 
Ray