The Despicable Colombian Male ?

[Micky]

This will not produce much support or agreement,  but anyway.  I seem to have a little more respect or liking of the Colombian male than many of my brethren here.  While I do believe that the women in this culture is generally a more productive,  reliable and responsible person,  I do not think that badly of the men.  On this board the Colombian male takes a fairly consistant beating.  Instead of throwing examples back and forth,  with thoughts and opinions becoming little more than scorecards,  let me say this.
Yes it is true that many,  many Colombian men have a wife,  and a girlfriend,  or three.  And the Colombian women go on ad finite about what "dogs" the Colombianos are.  For the Colombian man that is a "dog",  he has a Colombiana wife,  a Colombiana mistress and two Colombiana girlfriends.  The women that are number two,  three,  four,  or more in a relationship with a man KNOW it.  The wife is the ONLY victim,  all of the other women in this play are participants,  willing participants.  Tell me what true respect and concern that these women have for one another?  When things are such in any society,  all are culpable in varying degrees.
Furthermore,  this may start in the cradle.  There was some thread here that mentioned the behavior of children here,  and they seem a happier,  healthier lot,  and I agree.  I will tell you this,  the Colombianos spoil the living crap out of their children and more guilty the women than the men.  In this,  the male child is spoiled more so than the female.  This is by Mom,  grandma,  every aunt and every female friend of the family.  So is it that starting in the womb,  the women are creating the very "dog" that other women will deplore in the future?  I do not have answers,  I only have thoughts and questions.  This is but a small silver of the culture and why true understanding is a difficult task.  Have a nice day.

 
Micky

[benjio]

True gospel...
 
I met very loving and devoted husbands in Bogota, Pereira, Cali, etc. I knew the guys well enough to know they were most likely faithful to their wives. Not to mention the fact that Colombian guys love to brag about their women on the side and sexual exploits. Along the coast on the other hand...fagetabout it.

[whitey]

Micky, another great post - I'm sure glad you're here!

I agree with everything you said.  I'm privileged to have several good male Colombian friends here and one in Barranquilla.  They are great guys to be around, and always have a positive attitude despite the challenges of adapting to a new life here in Canada and the uncertainty as to whether they will be able to stay.

And yes, although I'm pretty sure most of them have fooled around on their wives (maybe not here in Canada), they are also good family men, they love their kids, and they love their wives.  I'm not trying to defend the cheating, except to agree with Micky that it is FULLY supported by the culture in Colombia ... maybe not liked by the woman ... but fully supported in exactly the way Micky describes ... so, it's no surprise.

[Researcher]

      I have to say that I was never that interested in the MEN in Colombia so much as the WOMEN!!!!.....hehehe...sorry Micky I couldn't resist.

      But seriously, there is more to the situation than just saying Colombian men are dogs.My wife has 5 brothers and they all are good guys...as far as their family and with me.But in relationships they are the typical Colombianos.Why is this? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say because they can.

       Researcher

[Colgando]

One of my best friends is a  Colombiano, love that dude, we get each other. He loves blonde gringas, I love Latinas, jejejeje.


I for one have not bashed Colombian men here, at least I am pretty sure I have not, and if I did, I should not have. I accept there may be a higher percentage of men that cheat in Colombia than in the US, but a theory I have is that they can get away with it in Colombia, therefore the higher percentage, harder to get away with cheating in the US and still maintain the marriage or the relationship. It always trips me out how American men are viewed as more faithful somehow, sure, maybe the percentage of unfaithful men is lower in the US, but it may be due to the differing environments.


For example, take a statistically significant population of American men, place them in Colombia, assume they learn Spanish and have income, and I would guess that overtime, these men would have the same rate of infidelity as Colombianos, just a theory, I could be wrong.

[utopiacowboy]

I agree with Micky. If I lived in Colombia there is no way I could be faithful - just too many hot women throwing themselves at you. Geez, I can be out shopping with my wife and the frigging salesgirls will be flirting outrageously right in front of her. Or I'll be sitting on a mall or park bench waiting for her and chicks are walking by waving at me - what the hell! It's just too much for any man to resist.

I know a lot of Colombianos and I always have a good time with them. They know how to enjoy life.

[Researcher]

       It's kinda like saying why are AWs the way they are? Big reason is that AMs are such wussies!!! hahahaha!!!

     Researcher

[fathertime]

THanks for your post Mickey....i think our son will be pretty spoiled judging by how he melts my wife's and her family's hearts....regarding the despicable Colombian men, I don't recall my wife ever talking badly at all about them...now that i think about it i don't think we have ever talked about other men at all...which is fine by me.


Fathertime!

[Researcher]

      My wife and I went on our honeymoon to Santa Marta.One day we were swimming in the ocean just enjoying the day.Near us was a guy that had to be 65 years old at least. His wife was there with him but he wasn't paying any attention to her.He was staring at another woman in the water that was swimming near them.This guys wife and the other lady looked to be maybe late 40's early 50's.Neither one was strikingly more attractive than the other.The guy just kept staring at the that wasn't his wife.When she finally noticed him he started making "kissy faces" at her right in front of his wife.I started to think that maybe his wife wasn't paying attention to him when suddenly she started yelling and smacking him upside his head! Apparantly he had exceeded his the amount of flirting his wife would tolerate.She finally grabbed his ear and drug him out of the water onto the beach and out of sight.Even then he was looking back making an attempt to flirt with the other lady.Now, the other lady didn't do anything much to encourage or discourage his behaviour but I could tell she was enjoying the attention.

       Researcher

 

[dennislevy]

One thing I finally learned is that many Colomnbian men (in additon to the indfidelity) see their woman as fulfilling roles, not encessarily as humans with feelings and profound sensations.
A  Colombian man can see a Colombian man as....
madonna, puta, la senora ds la casa, la madre de mis hijos, mi amor,mi cielo, mi vida...ya ya ya...but here s an INTERESTING exercise.
 
Talk to a Colombian man trhat you know and ask him to specifically descrbie the personality of the most important woman in hs life....and watch...there s a profound disconnect, because they usually cant get past cliches.......rarely or never have they thought of a woman as a complete person.
 
 

[Micky]

DL -

I know many men here,  brothers in law,  friends of family,  the extended family,  so on and so on.  I can honestly say that most of the men that I know (not all,  by any means) do not think or treat their wives in the way you describe.  Contrary to what you are saying,  I have had men express great admiration and respect for these very women for their work,  dedication,  compassion and the love and care that they demonstrate to the various people in their lives.  Not only do they see them as a complete person,  but as a better person than they themselves are.

Micky

[utopiacowboy]

DL -

I know many men here,  brothers in law,  friends of family,  the extended family,  so on and so on.  I can honestly say that most of the men that I know (not all,  by any means) do not think or treat their wives in the way you describe.  Contrary to what you are saying,  I have had men express great admiration and respect for these very women for their work,  dedication,  compassion and the love and care that they demonstrate to the various people in their lives.  Not only do they see them as a complete person,  but as a better person than they themselves are.

Micky

You're right.

[dennislevy]

Mickey and UC
 
Micky, I ll assume that your wife and also Mrs UC (when she lived in Colombia),moved in very stable environments, with stable marriages and family units.
 
I ve talked with umpteen Colombian women.......and made this observation.....and quite a few (not all) have agreed with me...and I ve talked with quite a few Colombian men but I ll concede that  almost all haven t beenin their living rooms.
 
I won t deny that there are Colombian men who know and respect their wives as complete  people, I ve met some......not many, but some.....amd talked with them in their livng rooms....all were married for many years with good to excellent marriages and most if not all of the kids who were on he right track.......
 
 Have a great day.....

[benjio]

I'll say it once again. In my opinion this aspect of Colombian Culture is completely dependent on region. If we're referring to Paisas and Bogotanos, I'd have to agree with Micki. If you're referring to the Colombianos along the coast, Dennis is definitely more accurately in his description of the way men view their significant others.