Why Do Guys Travel to BAQ?

[Chris F]

From my viewpoint, it seems like people are going to BAQ specifically for Jamie's services and also because they have read or heard about so many success stories from guys who have gone to BAQ here on the forum or elsewhere.

In terms of long term success, which is the most important, how many guys who  post here are still married to someone from Colombia after five years?

Patrick and Hoda

There maybe some more but I cannot recall at this time.
Of course there are guys who no longer post here who may or may not still be married.
I have been a poster here for a decade now. I have to honestly say that the crash and burn stories that I have read here and on several other forums over the last ten years with marriages falling apart with Colombians is quite high.
I must also add the divorces were not always the fault of the women.
 
 
 
 
 
 

[Alabamaboy!]

In terms of long term success, which is the most important, how many guys who  post here are still married to someone from Colombia after five years?

Patrick and Hoda

There maybe some more but I cannot recall at this time.
Of course there are guys who no longer post here who may or may not still be married.
I have been a poster here for a decade now. I have to honestly say that the crash and burn stories that I have read here and on several other forums over the last ten years with marriages falling apart with Colombians is quite high.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Well my business partner is a Colombian guy who is married to a Colombiana. They have been married over 20 years. He frequently has parties at his house and since there are not an overabundance of  Colombian families here, they all know each other. There are at least 4 couples I can think of off the top of my head where one spouse is Colombian and the other US citizen, and all of them have been married for more than 5 years, no problem. There are no couples that I can recall that have ended in divorce.

It all depends on what your definition of success is.

For me it is that I am married, in a loving relationship and my wife is a good mother as well. Trustworthy, etc. And that all these things are present today.  After that, there are alot of variables with what can happen over the years. In general, marriage is not such a good bet to last more than 10 years no matter who you marry or from what country each party is from.

[fathertime]

There are a few ways to measure a marriage…length of time is not always a good indicator…when many divorce after 12-20 years they only wish they could have done it much sooner…
Enjoying most of the time with the wife and having kids are what I am interested in more than anything else…if spouses are enjoying time together I imagine 5,10, 20, years can go by quickly…I’m shocked at how fast  nearly 2 years has come around so quickly for us.




Fathertime!

[utopiacowboy]

Two guys over 5 years? No, there are many more. I've been married just short of 8 years.

[Alabamaboy!]

In terms of long term success, which is the most important, how many guys who  post here are still married to someone from Colombia after five years?

Patrick and Hoda

There maybe some more but I cannot recall at this time.
Of course there are guys who no longer post here who may or may not still be married.
I have been a poster here for a decade now. I have to honestly say that the crash and burn stories that I have read here and on several other forums over the last ten years with marriages falling apart with Colombians is quite high.
I must also add the divorces were not always the fault of the women.

Another reason why you may be reading about so many divorces involving Colombian women is that there are so many marriages to Colombians in the first place. There must be some reason why guys are so attracted to Colombian women. Because there sure are a lot of them on these forums and in general who are marrying them or wish they could. I have not seen or read about so many people pouring into any other country to meet their future mate (except maybe the Philippines). The only one that I would say comes close is Brazil. So these Colombianas must have something going for them.

Maybe I should have titled this thread: "Why Do Guys Travel to Colombia" because it is kind of strange how there are so many guys going down there. It cannot be that the women are so desperate or anything to marry Gringos for economic reasons, because you could go to any number of countries where the women are more motivated by economic situations. Most of the guys going down there do not even speak the same language or have any connections whatsoever to the country or the culture. I think I will start another thread about this topic.

[benjio]

In terms of long term success, which is the most important, how many guys who  post here are still married to someone from Colombia after five years?

Patrick and Hoda

There maybe some more but I cannot recall at this time.
Of course there are guys who no longer post here who may or may not still be married.
I have been a poster here for a decade now. I have to honestly say that the crash and burn stories that I have read here and on several other forums over the last ten years with marriages falling apart with Colombians is quite high.
I must also add the divorces were not always the fault of the women.

Chris,
 
During my short three years of SOTB travel I've realized the same thing. Many more separations and divorces than happy, long lasting marriages. I've only met about a dozen gringos that had returned to Colombia after an unsuccessful marriage to a Colombiana, and there is almost ALWAYS an underlying reason the relationship didn't work that stems from one of three things:
 
Unrealistic Expectations: Marrying a woman more than 10 years younger than you; expecting a Latina that's not over 30-35 to be strictly a housewife and mother and not want to have a social life; not paying attention to initial red flags that indicate the woman was not truly in love in the first place; expecting yourself to be instantly more important to her than the family she is leaving, etc. All these things can wreak havoc on a marriage to a Latina. I can't believe 50 year old, unattractive men expect to marry 25 year old gorgeous Latinas, bring them back to the states, and expect them to stay faithful, have children, sit in the house, cook and clean, and not want to financially help their families. REALLY?!!!! GET REAL!!!
 
Not Embracing the Culture: Colombianas love to dance. If you aren’t willing to at least try, please believe she is going to find another guy to dance with. This is my very subtle way of saying there are things she is accustomed to doing, eating, places she’s accustomed to going to, etc. that you shouldn’t expect to go away because she married you. One guy I know had a very pretty Paisa stolen from him by a Colombian guy after they got married and moved back to San Diego. She may have truly loved her husband, but she enjoyed going out dancing and having a drink once in a while. Eventually she found a friend from her hometown she could do that with, and he became a lot more than a friend while hubby was sitting at home refusing to take a damn salsa lesson. Dancing is just the easy part. Another thing so much more important than dancing is being “Machismo.” Colombianas constantly complain about how Colombian guys are, but it’s usually what they’ve come to expect from their idea of a real man. Not taking control and being the head of your household can have devastating results. These are just two of many examples dealing with knowing and understanding the culture your potential wife is from.
 
RUSHING!!!!!: I will never, ever, ever understand why guys that wouldn’t marry a woman in the states after 6 months of dating feel it’s perfectly okay with a woman from another country. I understand the distance is difficult, but if a guy can’t travel back to his girlfriend’s country at least a couple of weeks every 3-4 months, he shouldn’t even try to begin foreign dating. SERIOUSLY!!! You will never get to know her well enough to expect to have a successful marriage. You’ll never get to know her family. Any guy that dated a Latina for less than a year from a distance, and didn’t spend at least a week with her on several different occasions and is still married after 5 years is extremely lucky. They basically found a compatible partner without any serious trials to determine compatibility. I dated my girlfriend for more than two years. We got started with the fiance visa, but I refused to bring a girl here and marry her without being absolutely sure she was the woman for me. We broke up a few months ago, and it hurt. But I had a ton of fun while we were together, I'm still here, no kids, no alimony, and a continent full of gorgeous single women for me to give it a second go.
 

[Alabamaboy!]

Colombianas love to dance. If you aren’t willing to at least try, please believe she is going to find another guy to dance with.

It is funny you wrote this Benjio, because I think I have mentioned this several times on this forum and there are usually a few guys who will make comments like I am crazy or something. But I think it is super important. If you are not going to make some attempts to assimilate into their world, but you expect them to assimilate to yours, I think it is a sign that the relationship will have a lot of problems. If not at first, then possibly after awhile. Even if you stay married, I think there will be problems that have just not surfaced.

I have always said that if the relationship is not in harmony, then it is time to cut the strings and split up. Why try to force a square peg into a round hole? Just try to find someone more compatible with each party being realistic and honest in what they are looking for in the first place. It is not like there is any shortage of available women there to meet.

But I can understand why guys can rush things on these distance relationships. I almost made a big mistake the first go around. But I ended things before she got here to the States. I think it is because when we go to Colombia, it is such a great time, then we come back to the States and you are smacked in the face with reality. The work, rat race, unattractive or unavailable women, etc. And the first thing that pops up into your head is: "hey, I had such a good time down in Colombia with that little Honey Bunny, why not just get her up here as soon as possible?" And she is usually younger and not thinking straight and just thinking of the good things about the US and not the reality that we have here.

[fathertime]

Chris,
 
During my short three years of SOTB travel I've realized the same thing. Many more separations and divorces than happy, long lasting marriages. I've only met about a dozen gringos that had returned to Colombia after an unsuccessful marriage to a Colombiana, and there is almost ALWAYS an underlying reason the relationship didn't work that stems from one of three things:
 
Unrealistic Expectations: Marrying a woman more than 10 years younger than you; expecting a Latina that's not over 30-35 to be strictly a housewife and mother and not want to have a social life; not paying attention to initial red flags that indicate the woman was not truly in love in the first place; expecting yourself to be instantly more important to her than the family she is leaving, etc. All these things can wreak havoc on a marriage to a Latina. I can't believe 50 year old, unattractive men expect to marry 25 year old gorgeous Latinas, bring them back to the states, and expect them to stay faithful, have children, sit in the house, cook and clean, and not want to financially help their families. REALLY?!!!! GET REAL!!!
 
Not Embracing the Culture: Colombianas love to dance. If you aren’t willing to at least try, please believe she is going to find another guy to dance with. This is my very subtle way of saying there are things she is accustomed to doing, eating, places she’s accustomed to going to, etc. that you shouldn’t expect to go away because she married you. One guy I know had a very pretty Paisa stolen from him by a Colombian guy after they got married and moved back to San Diego. She may have truly loved her husband, but she enjoyed going out dancing and having a drink once in a while. Eventually she found a friend from her hometown she could do that with, and he became a lot more than a friend while hubby was sitting at home refusing to take a damn salsa lesson. Dancing is just the easy part. Another thing so much more important than dancing is being “Machismo.” Colombianas constantly complain about how Colombian guys are, but it’s usually what they’ve come to expect from their idea of a real man. Not taking control and being the head of your household can have devastating results. These are just two of many examples dealing with knowing and understanding the culture your potential wife is from.
 
RUSHING!!!!!: I will never, ever, ever understand why guys that wouldn’t marry a woman in the states after 6 months of dating feel it’s perfectly okay with a woman from another country. I understand the distance is difficult, but if a guy can’t travel back to his girlfriend’s country at least a couple of weeks every 3-4 months, he shouldn’t even try to begin foreign dating. SERIOUSLY!!! You will never get to know her well enough to expect to have a successful marriage. You’ll never get to know her family. Any guy that dated a Latina for less than a year from a distance, and didn’t spend at least a week with her on several different occasions and is still married after 5 years is extremely lucky. They basically found a compatible partner without any serious trials to determine compatibility. I dated my girlfriend for more than two years. We got started with the fiance visa, but I refused to bring a girl here and marry her without being absolutely sure she was the woman for me. We broke up a few months ago, and it hurt. But I had a ton of fun while we were together, I'm still here, no kids, no alimony, and a continent full of gorgeous single women for me to give it a second go.

thanks for your perspective benjio...you make reasonable points...i can't say that i have abided by all of them, but they are reasonable guidelines.
it must be terrible for you to be 30 and single over there in Colombia. 
Fathertime!

[JimD]

actually, their are a lot of guys that go to Cali, Bogota, Malizales, Cartagena Pereria, Buccamangara and many that go to other countries, Peru, Costa Rica, Mexico, they just don't bother to post on here. i know many guys who strictly go to Cali and Bogota. Cali, for the hot women and party life, Bogota, for the more upscale night life and more serious/  business like women.

I agree with Mudd. I think posters on this board voice the opinions of a tiny handfull of the men who travel to Colombia or other Latin American countries to seek a spouse.

[whitey]

I agree with Mudd. I think posters on this board voice the opinions of a tiny handfull of the men who travel to Colombia or other Latin American countries to seek a spouse.

Yep, I have to agree.  I have no idea why so many of the more frequent posters here are travelling to BAQ.  Just within Colombia there are way more guys going to Medellin, Bogota, Cali, and Cartagena than BAQ.

[benjio]

Yep, I have to agree.  I have no idea why so many of the more frequent posters here are travelling to BAQ.  Just within Colombia there are way more guys going to Medellin, Bogota, Cali, and Cartagena than BAQ.

Let them go....MAS CONSTENAS PARA MI!!!! JA JA JA JA