red flag?

[Alabamaboy!]

That is a definition of a "deal breaker" in my book.

[Micky]

ISD -

Maybe next time "listen" to your gut.  I am not calling the girl a shark,  but regardless of socio/economic status HERE,  a "good"  Latina would NOT be asking someone she just met on line for $$$,  regardless of their situation.  Do not sweat it,  there are only 20,000 more happy to apply for her previous position.
 

Micky

[michaelb]

You've been talking to her for a week and a half and she wants you to pay off her nursing school? And you have to ask?

[utopiacowboy]

You've been talking to her for a week and a half and she wants you to pay off her nursing school? And you have to ask?

And here everyone was wanting you to give her the benefit of the doubt, kick her to the curb like any Colombiano would.

[Ray]

 
 
 
   

[InSanDiego]

thank goodness for PL you guys have confirmed what I feared and felt in my gut.    I guess she smelled vulnerability and decided to pounce....Better for me that she pulled this stunt so soon rather than further down the line...

[InSanDiego]

Ray, that picture is worth a thousand words...

[InSanDiego]

I sent her an email in Spanish as follows: "Dear ----, I have greatly enjoyed chatting with you these last few weeks. Unfortunately, I am disappointed that you asked me for money. I truly did feel strongly for you and have sent you a music cd and an english instructional cd which are gifts from my heart. But because you asked me for money, I can no longer trust you. I hope that you will find the right man for you, but that man is not me. I wish you and your family the best."

[Micky]

ISD -
 
You are way to nice,  or maybe I am a dixk.  Next time a short note,  I wrote it for you.
 
 Bueno pues,   listo chao.
 
Micky

[InSanDiego]

Micky, yes I probably am too nice, that's probably why she pulled that with me in the first place.

[Alabamaboy!]

I probably would have laughed and said "are you f'ing crazy? I haven't even met you in person and you are asking for money? "  I would keep her around though. Maybe you could use her for an escort to Santa Marta sometime, or someone to practice your Spanish with. But you already know what she is and she is out of contention for the big prize.

[Dan Las Vegas]

ISD -
 
You are way to nice,  or maybe I am a dixk.  Next time a short note,  I wrote it for you.
 
 Bueno pues,   listo chao.
 
Micky

ahh... mickey has it perfect, simple and sweet, good riddance.
 
Dan LV

[Researcher]

     She could be preparing you for the old papaya game but wait and see if you want to know for sure.Man, you WOVO guys sure do like putting all those eggs in a "iffy" basket!

      Researcher

            That's the thing InSanDiego if you aren't sure if a woman is a scammer or not all you have to do is wait and see.Those request will get more frequent and more desperate.If you had stayed with her my guess is she would have had a relative in dire need of an operation next week!

           I'm glad you didn't do the WOVO thing and waste a trip.I gotta tell ya that these "educated middle class" women are no different than the poor ones. To me it is more a woman thing or really just human nature.Some of these women get involved with a gringo and will try and get something out of him even if they intend to go through with the relationship.They better themselves just in case things don't work out.Then at least they walk away a little better off financially. They may not even ask for a dime in the beginning but as soon as they realize the relationship might not work out they try to get what they can to walk away better off.AWs do pretty much the same.As soon as they realize things are over in a marriage they drain the bank account and run up the credit cards.

       Just keep your eyes open ISD.If you don't like the situation then just walk away.There are plenty of good women in Colombia, poor or not, educated or not.There isn't much difference it all depends on the woman.

            Researcher

     

[InnocentVixen]

she asked for money, there is no going back from that, it is one thing when you think she is going to ask and another when she actually does, it's good that you are careful but see? gold diggers show themselves eventually, if your gut tells you to be careful be careful, but give the girls a chance before you give up, that is all I am saying.


Today I was talking to my guy and since we both know this forums the theme of red flags came up, he admitted that when we talked for the first time he assumed my visa was a fiancee/spousal visa sponsored by some guy that didn't work out and that I was ready to go and just trying to make use of what was left of that visa by getting some guy to get me out of the country... Needless to say I was shocked!!!


But then again, can't blame him, a guy that has read here about nothing but those kinds of visas + a trip or 2 to Colombia using an agency and you start thinking everyone is the same, you know what they say about the word "assume" even whitey managed to find his girl (Nazly who I think is a gem) in Colombia and through an agency no less...


I ended up admitting had I met him after my ex (who is exactly his age) I would have been more wary about our ages being a bad match without actually get to know him first, so don't let the past hold you back from your future

[whitey]

I gotta tell ya that these "educated middle class" women are no different than the poor ones.

That's very true ... gold-digging has nothing to do with what estrato the woman happens to live in.  The only difference is that the woman from estrato 1 or 2 may want the money for food/shelter, whereas the woman in 4/5/6 wants a new cell phone or the latest dress from Studio F.

[whitey]

Today I was talking to my guy and since we both know this forums the theme of red flags came up, he admitted that when we talked for the first time he assumed my visa was a fiancee/spousal visa sponsored by some guy that didn't work out and that I was ready to go and just trying to make use of what was left of that visa by getting some guy to get me out of the country... Needless to say I was shocked!!!

Sorry to hear that, IV ... we gringos sure are a suspicious bunch!

But then again, can't blame him, a guy that has read here about nothing but those kinds of visas + a trip or 2 to Colombia using an agency and you start thinking everyone is the same, you know what they say about the word "assume" even whitey managed to find his girl (Nazly who I think is a gem) in Colombia and through an agency no less...

Thanks for the kind words.  Nazly and I didn't meet through an agency, though.  We met the "old-fashiioned" way ... hahaha ... a mutual friend introduced us online and we corresponded for 9 months as friends before I went to see her.  She was irresistible, so it was "one and done" for me ...

[Researcher]

      Whitey it takes big cojones to be a blind squirrel!! hehehe...

                     


            Researcher

[fathertime]

hey insandiego...like the gang said, it is good you hung in there and let the lady hang herself with the requests...no harm done and now you know for sure and have some experience!


Fathertime!

[InSanDiego]

FT, yeah, I think it's been discussed in other threads that women are more likely to ask an older man like me (40) for money. I do have a career, am financially stable, certainly don't look as good as I did when I was 25, so there is increased chance of a woman trying to use me as an ATM...She sure did hang herself with that request, though I  give her credit for having the audacity to time her request ("una cosa...") just after I'd disclosed something pretty personal and was feeling a little vulnerable. She immediately sensed correctly that I was offended by the request, started apologizing profusely, typing very rapidly on msn and trying to smooth things over, etc. It was like she realized, "oh s--t, this gringo's not as much of a sucker as I thought he was..."

[Micky]

ISD -

We are full of generalizations here,  it is the nature of the beast.  As you saw with the replies from "dump her now"  to "give her a chance,  what she said was no big deal".  All were just honest opinions from a very wide spectrum of people with differing points of view.  I think well of anyone who takes the path less traveled,  the journey "outside the box",  I commend you for that.  It is solely your responsibility to filter the BS (mine included) that you glean from this board.
If I may say a couple of things I observed from your short time in the "game",  I call it that,  although it is not.


1 - There are more attractive,  "good" women here than you are really aware of,  it is really a process of avoiding the players and non matches (easier said than done).  You are serious about your search,  you will ultimately be successful.  Do yourself a big favor and take your foot off the accelerator and ENJOY the process.  Take your time,  relax,  do not put undue pressure on yourself.  This is Colombia,  if you miss the bus another one will be along in five minutes,  not an hour.


2 - You are 40,  that is about one of the best ages to be in the "game".  I do not know what age you are looking for in a women,  but 40 in a man is fairly much a prime target here for women.  You NEED to change your thought process,  you called yourself an older guy being 40.  Time for you to start KNOWING,  age wise,  you are in the driver's seat (you young punks always pizz me off).


3 - Maybe change the focus of your first trip here.  Look at it as a discovery of a new culture,  country and the women.  I am not saying to not be serious about finding the "one".  You can only do things in your time and style,  not someone else.  Just some food for thought.


Micky 

[whitey]

Excellent advice, Micky!!!

[Gato4Astrid]

 latest dress from Studio F.

Studio F dresses are too expensive for that type of qualties of dresses!!   They are ripped off prices!!  They should pay that price for top quality not for the title "Studio F"
 
 

[Micky]

Studio F dresses are too expensive for that type of qualties of dresses!!   They are ripped off prices!!  They should pay that price for top quality not for the title "Studio F"

Out of Left field and very gay.  Think about changing your name to GAY-TOE?
 
Micky

[ignorante]

It is normal to talk about life in her country as you are getting to know each other, some things might not sound so great, but some should actually sound better than your country, even a dirt poor girl should have something she likes about her life, never underestimate the power of a positive attitude, if she is complaining about everything back home, guess what? once you "rescue" her, she will be complaining about everything at your home regardless of how much better her new life is.

  IV should write her own blog.  I know I would read it religiously.

[InnocentVixen]

Ah, my mistake whitey, but a gem nonetheless 


ISD, you need to stop thinking you are in the states, specially if you have been in SD most of your life, nightlife and general attitude over there is quite scary from the little I know of it... this are not american women that party from ages 15-25 and once tired and full of baggage give up on having fun and settle for a nice guy, most will be looking for a responsible man who wants to start a family, sure, it doesn't hurt he is handsome and has a stable job, but if your personality and sense of humor is great they will overlook even that!


40 is a great age IMO you can pick pretty much from any age range you want and women will be genuinely interested... unless she is underage and if she is you shouldn't be after her anyways...


If you are a pretty healthy energetic guy by all means go for someone energetic like you or younger so she can keep up with you, it's just common sense! my guy is like this and sometimes I wonder if I am not too old for him