colombian tours

[dennislevy]

Oh yes, Andy and I are VERY different......
 
jejejejeje
 
In San Diego
Let me give youi something to chew on......and it may save you a lot of time and some dating doillars.

MANY Colombian women will tell you that they are lookign for a committed stable serious realtionship
that they are searching for their media naranja) the other half of the orange, that they want a man to respect and value them....yadda, yadda, yadda...
 
that is if you are dating women very close to or in their 30s. In their early 20s, not too many are serious. 
 
THOSE ARE  CLICHES, PRETTY WORDS.....some women want exactly that. and MANY are too afraid to commit themselves again in a concrete manner  because of the hurts they have suffered from men before.
 
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHOSE ACTIONS WILL MATCH THE WORDS. AND WHAT A COLOMBIAN WOMAN DOES OR DOESN T  DO IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THEN WHATEVER SHE SAYS.
 
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS DEVISE YOUR OWN BENCHMARKS TO PROVE YOUR SINCERITY AND TEST THE COMMITTMENT OF THE WOMEN TO DO THINGS....FOR AND WITH YOU...
 
And the more Spanish you have the more advanced you can be in your dating and how to give and get incrememtal committments.
 
And in that dating process, you should
1 get her story of her past
2. meet the folks, meet the relatives, see how you interact with the kids (if there are any)
3. Travel a bit with her maybe in Colombia or if she has a passport to a country where it s easy to enter.
4. Decide if you can communcate with her on any number of levels.....
 
If youre 40, you probably know what kind of women you like and just as importantly what kind of women have made you feel good and who you attract.
 
Now look for women in that dating pool in Colombia.
 
Some guys are very fortunate and they find a life partner on the first trip....but they are RARE.....most need a few trips and more undrstanding of the culture
 
Women in Colombia look for la qimica...CHEMISTRY...it can be physical sexual, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual chemistry.....chemistry is or isnt...up or down yes or no........many women act on instinct if they feel chemistry..... the great thing about dating in this culture that you know very quickly...usually within the first few minutes of the first date.
 
OK?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[InSanDiego]

DennisLevy, I agree. Behavior, not just words. If  there is a benefit to getting older, it's that through the pain of experience I think most get wiser and pay more attention to peoples' behavior. That's why meeting and spending time with the women is the best way to find out what they're about, and why I'm leaning more and more towards going over there...No risk, no reward...

[Micky]

"YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHOSE ACTIONS WILL MATCH THE WORDS. AND WHAT A COLOMBIAN WOMAN DOES OR DOESN T  DO IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THEN WHATEVER SHE SAYS. " quote DL

Dennis,  a small bone to pick.  Change the words women and Colombian women to person.  That applies to ALL people,  ALL over the world.  It is no more applicable to a women than a man,  nor to a Canadian or Colombian.  Words are air,  actions are the manifestations of a persons thoughts,  ideas,  concerns,  needs, desires,  dreams,  etc.

Micky

[dennislevy]

Mickey
 
Understood.
 
The point that I was implying..... and not too clearly, jejejejeje
 
 is that in this culture.....women will say one thing to a man, think another and do what they think or even something else..in Colombia.....words ARE air.
As Americans we tend to be straight ahead, very direct and its hard to change....so rather then beleive what a woman says, at the beginning i I usually put the ball in her court.....very small things, very small tasks to do......if she does them, I become increasingly interested.

[Micky]

Dennis -

I do not think that any Colombians have ever given me a line of BS (I just told you the biggest lie in my life). How about the law of non confrontation here?  Here it is really an art form.  My last one was at the dentist. Some work they did needed a little correcting,  the dentist tells me 60.000.  I say way would I pay twice for the work that was not do right the first time?  He calls the front office then tells me,  yes there is no charge.  A typical Colombian would just have paid.  They will shoot each other,  but they will not argue in public.  ?

Micky

[dennislevy]

Micky et al.
 
Correct.....
 
Sometimes men willl become vociferous in public (for instance a traffic accident where the drivers arent hurt but there is damage to the vehicles...and both are trying to blame the other for the accident....and there is a group of onlookers watching.
 
I estimate I ve observed about a dozen breakups between couples... ....usually in bakeries.....the woman gets increasingly said and teary eyed, the man becomes cold and distant....
 
but they don t argue in public.
 
 

[jb]

thank you for the tips. I've also been reading Dan De La Cruz's "Global Dating Revolution" ebook, in which he basically argues that the numbers are more in men's favor in Latin America than in the US...Only way to find out is to take the plunge and make a trip...

Hey inSD,

i saw his book a while back and had it on the list of things to read.  Do you think i would get value out of it beyond what is mentioned hear on PL?  or Is it any good?  lots of info or just fluff.

interested to hear about it.

thanks

[InSanDiego]

JB, now that I've read it along with the forum posts, I must say I've gotten more out of reading the forum archives. I literally spent hours this past weekend reading through forum posts and think this forum is full of great, free information... The author of the ebook has some interesting anecdotes, and the main thing I got out of it is that my chances are a hell of a lot better in Latin America than they are here due mainly to male/female ratios and socioeconomic factors . The author cites alot of stats to support this, and after reading it I'm completely convinced I need to take a trip...I just saved you 5O bucks  

[jb]

InSD,

Grassy Ass  or is it Gracias?  I'm just starting spanish..... 
my suspicions were that was pretty much the book and that the forum has a richer database of info.
Thank you very very much.

[dennislevy]

The chanves of meeting women in Colombia are exponetially greater then the US.
 
The men on thsi forum post a lot of opinions, and some post factual observations based on their experiences in the Latin world. Men bring different viewpoints, those that are married to latinas and living in their own country, men who have gone the agency route once and are planning to retunr here...men who live here...men who are in the dreaming or planning stage. Its all good
 
 before I went to Colombia fopr the frist time I partiicpated on P-l and read a lot of the archives...and it still took me more then two years of living here to feel confident in this culture.
 
June 9 will make 35 months in Colombia.   
 
 
 
 

[fathertime]

JB, now that I've read it along with the forum posts, I must say I've gotten more out of reading the forum archives. I literally spent hours this past weekend reading through forum posts and think this forum is full of great, free information... The author of the ebook has some interesting anecdotes, and the main thing I got out of it is that my chances are a hell of a lot better in Latin America than they are here due mainly to male/female ratios and socioeconomic factors . The author cites alot of stats to support this, and after reading it I'm completely convinced I need to take a trip...I just saved you 5O bucks

the sooner you go the better...once you have read up a bit and asked your questions, then it is time to get on your horse!  most of what you learn will be on the fly!
enjoy,
Fathertime!

[maritime04]

you can live with a women for years and still not really know them, or they may suprise you from time to time.
 
Latin women are a breed of their own, and the advice from the guys here is priceless.
 
I never hit the agencys very hard or the online dating sities, but i did use them. i am currently seeing someone so i do not have need to use them now.
 
i would not get too over my head and belive everything you see on the screen or hear in video chat as 100%, Colombian women and lie, even to the ones they love.
 
"The chanves of meeting women in Colombia are exponetially greater then the US."
Dennis i have to disagree i meet women all time in the states, its just that they do not meet me back......................
 

[dennislevy]

Maritime04
 
Dennis i have to disagree i meet women all time in the states, its just that they do not meet me back......................
 
JEJEJEJEJE!!!! well said!
 
 

 

[maritime04]

There is a form of non confrontation here in Colombia and when wome are concerned it means the following.
 
1. women will give you there contact info even if they are not intrested, i see this all the time and it has happend to me, i guess its probly why soo many guys think Colombia is AWSOME becuase all those hotties hand out phone numbers
 
2. they would rather not pick up the phone then tell you they are not intrested
 
3. they will lie rather then tell you they are not intrested.
 
4. they avoid the truth
 
And thats majority of women here, not just the scammers and liars....

[V_Man]

women will give you there contact info even if they are not intrested,

Very interesting.
But do they bother to keep up the communication?

[maritime04]

you have to be more proactive here, but if she does not return your calls and seems busy after3-4 times, stands you up its normally becuase she is not that intrested but DO NOT EXPECT HER TO TELL YOU THIS, your supposed to get the HINT.

[Researcher]

        Hey, all the more reason to be meeting more than one woman at a time.If one isn't showing enough interest then just say "next!" I know that doesn't appeal to everyone but it sure does make dealing with things like "she loves me, she loves me not" easier.And I don't mean stringing several women along by making them think they are the only one.I met several women and was getting to know several at once and didn't hide it.They seem to try a little harder when they know they aren't the only one interested in you and the ones that aren't interested in you will fall by the way side. 

           Researcher

[maritime04]

ooh yeah. if you are in the meeting women phase thats fine, meet as many women as you like, i always thought that it wa kinda wired to be having soo many dates in such a short period of time, as in the agency tours, it gives you so little time that you can only make a choice to invest more time in some one based off
1. looks
2. first impressions, maybe 2nd impressions
 
How much can you really judge some one when they know you are making choices based on a few hours worth of time
 
On a side note i really dislike when a girl calls you "amor" after only a short time, it took us a couple months before saying stuff like that, but to each their own

[Researcher]

  Where is it written that you have to choose after only a couple of hours with someone? But I have to say that after a while that's all it took to figure out if I wanted to get to know more about a woman or just move on.

      Researcher

[Micky]

M-04


How true about the non confrontation,  here it is really an art form.  Why in the world would you say ANYTHING that may be unpleasant,  when saying nothing works even better.  That is one thing that anyone unaware of the culture BETTER learn pronto.  As Researcher said,  NEXT!  If there is anything that is questionable in the beginning,  save yourself the time and energy and just move on.  It has been said MANY times here -  The Latin woman will often say what SHE THINKS you want to hear,  regardless of what she may really think.  I am not that hard of a guy,  not very demanding,  no sky high requirements,  but when it comes to wasting my time,  I do that on my own,  I do not let others do it for me.  Any guy would do well to not waste time hitting the delete,  ban,  cull,  later,  chao,  see ya,  bye bye button.  A guy is going to get caught up in the pretty package,  as we all do,  but there is a point where you better get on the reality train and KNOW that inside is 110 pounds of C-4,  let someone else have it.  It's better to give than receive.


Micky

[dennislevy]

Non confrontation is the way of life here.
 
As Micky poibnts out, men can waste time unti they learn to judge a woman by what she DOES, as Researcher points out, NEXT is an appropriate dating philosophy,
 
What a gringo has to understand that in THIS culture, ALMOST ALL women consider it poilite behavior not to respond to heinterest shown by a man, to simply ignore him. And has been pointed out before, women make instinctive immediate decisions...without much information. Sometimes, its done because women are simply not interested, sometines it s done to see if the man will try again...the rules of the conqista.
 
On Colombian Cupid, women just close windows after one glance at my photo, without looking a tmy prfile, sometimes I let it go....sometimes I ll write a respectful but pointed message ot their mailbox. And they read it and still don t respond...On a few occasions they have responded....
 
Many women are NOT interested in finding someone for their lives...they post their profile, they check their messages and they dont respond to gentlemanly messages.   Personally I respond to every message written to me......I prefer Cupid  as a dating venue becaise I waste the LEAST amount of time, NEXT is no firther then the next computer stroke, and when I engage in a chat, i can qualify someone and they can qualify me
 
its why I think that trying to meet a straight and interested woman in a club or on the street doesnt work. at least for me.  I remember engaging women in conversations on the fly..one was in a DAS waiting room in Bogota, the other was in a bakery in Medellin , both women gave me cell phone numbers....and both were phonies,,,numbers that werent in service.
 
In our culture we calibrate words for meaning and I ve gotten over that. when a woman says amor in ther first chat...it means nothing, it is the same as the British English expression.....hello, luv!  its jsut a  phrase, and when a woman says corazon to me.....I reply with cielo, mi vida, cariño and amor, all are interchangeable and mean NOTHING at the outset.
 
And I ve learend to forget calibrating  words for meaning, but just to get in synch with her and then qualify for where she is at that point in her life, what is her motivation...and is interested to communicate more and finally.....will she go out with me.
 
have agood day, everyome!
 
Dennis
 
 

[fathertime]

Hi everyone, I've been reading the posts for the last few days and have already gotten some good info...I'm a 40 year old white male, never married, no kids, speak a little Spanish but just ordered an audio program and plan to work at it.... I am considering a Colombian tour for later this year. I have looked at Jamie's website, Ilovelatins, latin life mates, and colombian sweethearts. Just off the websites and posts on this site: my impressions are as follows:
Jamie's: appears very legit but costly, and alot of great tips from him on his website, but after a 20 hour trip, I think more than anything I'll need a good night's sleep instead of meeting all these beauties while half awake...
 

that first day after the airplane ride, you will be a little tired, and initially i felt the same way you do about meeting ladies shortly after landing, but now in retrospect I think it was a good idea and I felt just find during the first introductions.
you will find legit ladies and based on how you describe yourself, you should be able to find several if not more attractive candidates.  you are probably in for quite an adventure!!


--regarding the confrontation part of the discussion that has erupted...from my experience all that 'non confrontation' stuff ends once the marriage begins... there is no longer a way to avoid/ignore issues so confrontations do occur.


Fathertime!

[InSanDiego]

DennisLevy, re: qualifying on LAC, I have a habit of saying things that push the limits, it's not even conscious on my part...I was chatting with a 20 year old Peruvian woman who requested a chat with me. I noticed in her profile photo she wasn't smiling, which I find rather odd. At any rate, she mentioned she'd been studying English for a year. I kept conversing with her in Spanish because I need the practice. I asked her why I a pretty woman like her couldn't find a good man in Peru, she said she hadn't found her ideal, so I just off-handedly mentioned that in English there is an expression that "sometimes you have to kiss some frogs before you  find your prince..." She immediately mentioned she found that offensive, I tried to explain it's just an expression, but that was the end of that...NEXT indeed....

[dennislevy]

InSanDiego
it happens all the time to me on Cupid.
 
Its a generalization, but a 20 year old girl will get huffy about a lot of things that are silly...not enough life experience, and for sure not enough patience.
Amd the samee little saying is in spanish
Encuentre su principe, primero bese los sapos

At times, with older women, I written a short apology to their mesaage box and told them that I would like to continue chatting with them but if they didnt want to...que tengas exito y feliciad...yada yada.
 
Sometmes the misunderstandings are just too ridiculous to believe. One woman from Bogota (on Cupido) was pissed off at me because she thought I was mocking the father of her children (el papa) and I thought she was making fun of Pope Bendict XVI (el papa)
 
I ve learned to think immediately ....when they take off. OK.....what did she thinkI said?  I cover all the possible bases in the apology note and if they dont return
 
....NEXT
 
 

[InnocentVixen]

Sometmes the misunderstandings are just ridiculous. One woman in Medellin got pissed off at me becasue she thought I was mocking the father of her children (el papa) and I htought she was making fun of Pope Bendict XVI (el papa)

Hahaha too funny!! then again maybe she was religious and she would have ended up offended anyways