New member here!...looking forward to process of finding a wife in Colombia

[Caliche]

Hello everyone,


I've read many discussion threads over the last few days, it can be quite addictive! I'm planning to travel to Colombia for the first time in September of this year. I'm excited at the prospect of finding a lifelong, loving, wife.  The reports and experiences that have been retold on these boards are inspiring and enthralling. It appears that there really is a way out from the misery of the American dating scene. I should make it clear that I'm no spring chicken, I'm 45 and been around the block a bit. My objective is to find an educated, sweet, loving Colombian wife. I'm  not going to repeat past mistakes and be seduced by beauty without first determining if there is anything of worth below the surface. I've given the little head his due time. Time for the big head to proceed and fulfill my dream of a stable, loving relationship with a good woman.


Thanks for taking the time to read my intro. I look forward to interacting with you and contributing as much my own limits allow.


I do have one question: I do not wish to use an agency. I would like to first make contact through web sites. I just don't know which ones are the ones worth joining, where there are a good percentage of relationship-minded Colombianas, and where I can cam, chat, post photos, message, etc, etc.


Any good ones you can recommend to get my dream off the ground??


Thank you in advance!


Caliche

[Researcher]

     Hi Caliche  and welcome to the board! I never used a website for Colombia so other guys here can fill you in on that aspect better than I can. Good luck in your search.


         Researcher

[Micky]

Caliche -
Welcome and good luck in your search.  I am sure there are others but I do know of - LatinAmericanCupid and ColombianCupid web sites.  Other guys probably have a list they will post.
45!!!  you young punks crack me up.
Micky

[Caliche]

Hey Researcher & Mickey -- thanks for the nice welcome. Really nice to know there are people here you can really converse with about these matters and who are supportive!


And thanks Mickey for the info re LatinAmericanCupid and ColombianCupid. I'll definitely be checking them out!
[/size]
[/size]Thanks again,

[/size]Caliche

[dennislevy]

Caliche,
 
Welcome to the board....
 
You are exactly where so many of us were a while back.
 
What I would safely say about the cupid dating sites and Ive used Colombian Cupid extensively...is that for what it offers...access to many Colombian women, its a terrific value.
 
No one is screeened on the cupido sites, most women put their photos and profiles up as a free membership, I would guess in the high 90s percentage, most men realize that they have to pay in order to make contacts...and so they pay.
 
If you can think with the big head......and if you speak decent Spanish you re miles ahead,
 
if you dont speak Spanish and you re looking for a good looking to beautiful woman who speaks English...when they are on line they are usually busy with foreign men piling up to chat with them....and of course latinos.
 
At 45, I don t think you are such a young punk.....but then of course, Mickey is WAYYYY older then I am....
 
jejejeje.........
 
Caliche, good luck....feel free to ask what you want.
 
Dennis
 
 
 
¨

[Jeff S]

Hi Caliche and welcome. We're happy to have you here. Looking forward to your participation.


- Jeff

[Caliche]

Dennis,


Thank you for that bit of info re the cupido sites...I just joined colombian cupid a little bit ago...! My first impression
is that these are very social beings, these colombianas...I see your point about how they can join for free and so there's one less "filter" to screen possible female "players", if I may be as bold as to put it that way.


As for Spanish, I do in fact speak it, it is my first language actually (yes, I'm a U.S."Latino"). But in case you think I've got it made....well, I've got a bridge I'd like to sell you.  actually have done the "foreign bride" thing..about 8 years ago, in Costa Rica. I used a web site and was on there maybe a few days when I met a stunner. This 23 year old (I was 37 at the time) also was very personable, and had some nice aspects to her personality. I sincerely believed at the time that this person would as beautiful inside as outside....Unmitigated disaster was unleashed upon me in the ensuing years!


After the relationship ended, and one child later, and after much soul-searching, I've come to the conclusion that my language abilities in Spanish went far beyond my ability at that time to discern and choose a life partner that would ve a good fit and would be suitable. I had been with only a relatively few latinas and american women here in the U.S. when i met the Costa Rican stunner. My mastery of Spanish gave me quick entry into the culture and ready access to the women, but it didn't turn out to be an actual advantage at all. It just made the train wreck happen faster!


Caliche

[Caliche]

Thanks, Jeff...looking forward to eventually findng my  lady, contributing to help others on the quest, and learning, learning, learning.






Caliche

[Caliche]

One concern that I have right off the bat, as I explore the cupido site, is that many of the colombianas that are in the age range I'm looking for do not want anyone with children...or else they have children themselves...This seems to limit the ones that I'd be interested in to a considerable extent as my objective is to find a single, never married, childless woman.


In the late 20's -mid-30's range there are many who would not relocate...hmmm...the field seems less wide now..
I do fully understand that at 45 I'm no spring chicken, but God please let Colombia be that magical place I've been dreaming about!

[dennislevy]

Caliche
 
Thanks and I appreciate your honesty about your past. I should not have presumed anything.
 
My train wreck was with an American woman in 2006...and we both spoke English! It started (first conversation)  and was over with a legal divorce in exactly 179 days.
 
That experience taught me here in Colombia to be VERY careful before going all in with any woman. Spanish is my second language but I can speak with any Colombian woman on just about an equal footing.
 
The most important piece of advice I got from men who knew Colombia, had married Colombian women was...
 
Take your time don t be in a rush.
 
I also read your post about cupido and am not sure...are you saying do you want to have new children with a new wife?
 
Have you considered other profiles....A woman in her late 30s to your age, never married, and no kids.
Same age range but with an older grown up child......and out of the house.
 
Dennis
 
 
 

[CalifSur]

Caliche: Welcome. My situation is similar though NOT exactly the same as you. I am 44, no kids, never married, etc.
 
I am generally looking for a woman in her late '20s to mid-30's with NO kids. 
 
Yes, it does DECREASE the pool of women from which you can choose; however, Colombia is a relatively large country (46 million or so) so it is POSSIBLE. 
 
Also, there are guys on P.L. in your age range with KIDS from a prior marriage who have found Colombianas with no kids. So it is definitley possible.
 
P.L. is great b/c you'll get input from guys like DennisLevy & Mickey. Both are U.S. born guys LIVING in Colombia.
 
Finally, a question for you if you don't mind:  You mentioned you met your ex-wife from Costa Rica on a website. Do you mind saying which one?  An agency website or a dating website, etc.?
 
Best of luck in your search.
 
 

[raycjs]

Caliche,
 
welcome to the board, i used latinamericancupid.com and 80% of the women i talked with where scammers. so i gave up on that and went the agency route. i found that route to work the best for me. My girl is 24 and no children i am 49 and have 3 children. she and i get along great and things have been wonderful. if you take your time you should be able to find the right one... there are guy's on here that have had success both ways so there is no right or wrong.... Best of luck to you
 
Ray

[Alabamaboy!]

Welcome! I think you should do fine in Colombia. Especially because I am sure you have learned alot from the first go around.

I think you are at the perfect age too, IMO, because you hopefully are not in the playboy stage of your life and are more settled. The #1 complaint I heard from the Colombianas regarding the men there were "they are all mujeriegos...they are all cheaters". So hopefully you have a big edge over the competition in that regard..

Most of the guys I know with success stories here recently were guys in the 40's with wives or serious gf's in the 20's. That is my situation. And also: Raycjs, Fathertime, and I believe Pivery too. Some guys say that a 15-20 year age gap is too much, but I don't think so. Everything seems to be working out fine for a lot of guys.

I would recommend that you take your time and visit different cities. Some people are crazy about the women from Medellin, but others like the Costenas. And the two areas are very different and even the culture and way of life of the two areas as well. It is all in what you like. But if you have a lot of time on your hands, I am sure you could find a great wife in any decent sized city in Colombia.

And regards to the Cupids, Tagged, Sonico, Badoo, etc.....it seemed to me to be a huge waste of time also, and I would agree with raycjs that probably 80% were scammers.

In regards to having kids? I was pleasantly surprised that the women I met, especially the Costenas and Calenas, seemed to look at this as a big "plus". And my wife loves my kids and it is obvious it is not an act.

Anway, good luck and welcome to the jungle!

[AndyLee]

If you are specifically interested in Colombia I'd recommend colombiancupid versus Latinamericancupid. I was on LAC for a while and found a big waste of time dealing with hits from all over the world. CC will have 2 or 3 times as many women in your selection range if you are targeting just Colombia.
I also want to disagree with the 80% scammers statements in above posts. My experience has been just the opposite. HOWEVER, it is important to note that I'm searching from 38-50 age range which is different in many respects from the 20 somethings. Any woman that I have encountered that I could even possibly think is a scammer has been less than 30 years old.

A big advantage of the Cupid sites is the advanced search feature. First of all I'd encourage you to separate your searches by city and save your searches so you can quickly flip through the pages and update them daily.
A typical saved search for me is age range 38-50 and i select for education (high school or higher) and for specific astrology signs (in my case Capricorn, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Libra, Taurus) and for no more than 2 children.
If there are 1000 women in my age range in that particular city then my filters will reduce the pool to around 250 from which I will select my top 50-75 and start sending out intro letters.
Wait a full day after you register on the site to make sure your pictures get posted with your profile. If you send out intro letters or interests without pictures in your profile your response rate will be next to zero.
I limit sending out intro letters and interests to 10 or so each day so that when the responses come I don't get overwhelmed and miss opportunities. I find that about 25 percent will respond within 1 to 3 days. One time I sent out 200 interests in one day across Colombia and I was inundated with responses, some of which I never got back to.
After doing this for a year I've seen a very interesting pattern develop. When a woman is really interested in me she will send nice long letters, answer my questions, ask me appropriate questions, send me photos of herself and her home and her family and generally seem thrilled with our letters back and forth. Within the first two or three letters she will want to talk by phone and MSN and on camera.
Even if I send out a hundred or more intro letters each month in any given month there are only 1 or 2 women that are this excited about talking to me and I am that excited about talking to them. These are the ones that turn out to be my prospective girlfriends. These are the ones I am happy to get on the bus and travel around the country to meet.
So, even if you don't see a lot of women in your age group who are childless don't let it put you off. You only need one and there are thousands to choose from and the pool keeps getting replenished every day. In any given city in my particular search range there will be 10 or 20 new faces every day. Any one of those could be the perfect bride you are seeking.
Another note, I am a big fan of the web camera. I know some of my friends on this forum don't use it much, but for me its been a tremendous help in pointing out the ones I'm most definitely interested in meeting. The web cam shows their surroundings, their mannerisms, their attention span, how much weight they've gained since their profile pictures were taken, their personality quirks and so much more. I have had great results from spending an hour or two on web cam and determining yes or no I want to meet this woman.

[dennislevy]

what Andy has written about Colombian Cupid is gospel.
 
I dont use web cams...but with that exception.....I agree totally with his post.   

[maritime04]

many of the websites are fully of scammers, and prepagos. trust me i know from my past exp. it would be best to probly use a agency. alot of this depends on the amount of time you have on location. anywaz good luck.

[Caliche]

Hello everyone, first and foremost THANK YOU for all of your spot-on advice and great info. Formidable of you guys
to have taken the time! Second, please excuse this late reply back to your comments....there's a couple of reasons for it, one, as a business owner the weekdays are hectic to say the least and time is very short...All-told I have had only about and an hour in total this week to explore cupido and try to incorporate the incisive observations and sage advice of Andy with regards to colombian cupid....


All I can say is...I've been OVERWHELMED! I put my photos up, and sent out a few interests and emails, and received responses in kind to almost all of them (!). I'M STUNNED. No, seriously, i didn't expect this at all and feel kind of  unprepared...to handle the sort of excitement this has generated over the last few nights, which has robbed me of my sleep (!) I don't really understand it, I'm only an average looking guy (I am fairly fit tho). I guess what I'm trying to say is I just didn't expect these kind of prospects to really materialize for me any time soon. I feel a bit lovestruck and its funny that I've actually lost sleep and have been walking around in a daze last couple of days...


Now, what has really caught me off gaurd is what to do when I'm on the site...I can't be on it more than a minute without getting interests and chat requests! I don't like to chat with more than one woman..that just isn't me and I could tell when one girl was doing it to me..her answers were all boilerplate, with no thought in them at all. Anyway, the problem is now how to be on the site and try to reply to the interests I have already received without falling behind by not having the chance to reply to all of the new interests that are just coming in!! It's an "embarassment of riches" and, while I guess it's a nice problem to be having, I'm afraid I just can't keep up with the incoming...and I just don't want to simply ignore the new incoming because any one of them might just be "the one"!


I am just overhelmed!


I already am weighing the dates and fares for a September week-long trip to Bogota and Medellin. I plan to take advantage of the Labor Day fed holiday. How far is the bus ride from Bogota to Medellin roughly?


Big thanks to all of you guys for your guidance...I appreciate it immensely..Andy, Calif Sur, AlambamaBoy, Dennis, Raycjs.


Oh, and CalifSur, the stunner from Costa Rica I found on myticadotcom  (now defunct). At the time, the site didn't have any chat capabilities, or cam, it  just had a messaging system. The site worked for me, I had a profile up and when I made the trip about a month after I joined, I had four ticas to visit. I met all four and chose one. I'ts a chapter in my life that rankles to this day, sadly. CR is a great little country though.


Caliche

[OrlandoGringo]

Welcome!

[Caliche]

Thank you OrlandoGringo! And congratulations on your successful search for a colombiana! Your experience was insightful. It's obvious that the seriousness with which you stuck to your game plan has paid off. I can see now how it's easy to perder la cabeza (lose  your head) over any one of these fine women (!)


Can't wait to go!

[Researcher]

       Caliche, the bus trip from Bogota to Medellin is about 9-10 hours,The roads are kinda curvy so you might want to take something for motion sickness.



      Researcher

[utopiacowboy]

After reading the PL party line, I think you should skip the whole thing. Here's what you have to look forward to:

The women are poor and badly educated.
The women are habitually late and inconsiderate.
The women are liars and will cheat on you at the first opportunity.
As a gringo you will be expected to support her entire village/barrio/ family for the rest of their lives - they won the lottery and you're the booby prize.
The women are sluts who will drop their panties for any guy who winks at them.
The women are lazy and expect you to do everything for them.

What a deal!

[robert angel]

After reading the PL party line, I think you should skip the whole thing. Here's what you have to look forward to:

The women are poor and badly educated.
The women are habitually late and inconsiderate.
The women are liars and will cheat on you at the first opportunity.
As a gringo you will be expected to support her entire village/barrio/ family for the rest of their lives - they won the lottery and you're the booby prize.
The women are sluts who will drop their panties for any guy who winks at them.
The women are lazy and expect you to do everything for them.

What a deal!

Awww U.C.,
 
Why don't you tell him the really bad stuff, instead of 'sugar coating' it?

[Researcher]

After reading the PL party line, I think you should skip the whole thing. Here's what you have to look forward to:

The women are poor and badly educated.
The women are habitually late and inconsiderate.
The women are liars and will cheat on you at the first opportunity.
As a gringo you will be expected to support her entire village/barrio/ family for the rest of their lives - they won the lottery and you're the booby prize.
The women are sluts who will drop their panties for any guy who winks at them.
The women are lazy and expect you to do everything for them.

What a deal!

     I agree that seems to be the "party line" but these perceptions come from guys who go to Colombia and pick the hottest women that will accept them.Most guys coming from the US culture find that they can attract hot women there so they don't look past the surface of the women they meet. I have seen it time and again.Guys hook up with these hot women and then try and make the relationship work by putting up with all kinds of crap.That's how American Men have been taught to have a relationship.They tolerate crap and complain about it instead of dumping some hottie that's nothing but a headache. I learned pretty quick to kick 'em to the curb if I didn't think I could live with them.It didn't matter how attractive they were or how much I was in love with them. Living with another person as a spouse isn't always easy but it doesn't have to be too difficult either, that is, if you choose the right person.


        Researcher

[fathertime]

After reading the PL party line, I think you should skip the whole thing. Here's what you have to look forward to:

The women are poor and badly educated.
The women are habitually late and inconsiderate.
The women are liars and will cheat on you at the first opportunity.
As a gringo you will be expected to support her entire village/barrio/ family for the rest of their lives - they won the lottery and you're the booby prize.
The women are sluts who will drop their panties for any guy who winks at them.
The women are lazy and expect you to do everything for them.

What a deal!

most married men don't have these problems...but it does take some filtering out of some nice looking ladies to get a woman that is both gorgeous and a good wife.  i can see how a lot of guys get tangled up with the black widow spiders of colombia...they can also be very alluring...and often that is what we hear about here from the single but looking men.
Fathertime!

[Researcher]

      Caliche, I'm glad to hear you are getting alot of response on the websites. I used the internet some when I was looking and from what I have read on this forum and my own experience with it you will need to meet many women to find the good ones. IMHO, you have to be selective when using the internet.Too many women just playing around or looking to scam someone.It's good you are getting numerous responses because that is what it takes most of the time.


         Researcher