Help for Newbie!

[reveis]

I'm an American, 45, just divorced with two kids age 15 and 11.  I want to marry a woman about my age who will not be bringing any dependant children.  Looking for a traditional church going lady.  I'm in search of a reputable agency that will provide an apartment and introductions.  Any advice?  How many visits before being comfortable about proposing?

[V_Man]

Hi Reveis and welcome.
You probably need to explain a little more what sort of life style you plan for the future. This would indicate which city may be the best place for you to start with and hence which agency to recommend. For example, if you live in a small rural town then a woman who has lived her whole life in Bogota may not be the best match for you.
With regards to how many visits obviously the answer is 3.14159265. 

One word of advice. The culture in Latin America outside of Buenos Aires is pretty much 180 degrees opposite to the style of your post. I hope you are aware of that.

Vman.

[reveis]

I live in the Northeast of USA town of about 50,000.  Please explain your 180 degrees culture comment.

[utopiacowboy]

I live in the Northeast of USA town of about 50,000.  Please explain your 180 degrees culture comment.

The gospel according to PL says that Colombian women are sex-hungry sluts who will basically do anything to get some of that gringo action. It is generally accepted in that culture that a woman will have sex with hundreds of guys before getting married after which she will cheat on you and have sex with a couple hundred more guys. Is this really what you want in life? Better to settle for a fat whiny AW.

[robert angel]

Welcome, Revieis!

Don't get discouraged, but my sons were about the age of your kids when I remarried a second time (to a Filipina) and it was very hard, although my wife had the best and most sincere intentions going in.

It was just terribly hard for her to adjust to how American kids are. My kids weren't -aren't that terrible, but in comparison to what the kids are like back home--they're so different that it was mind blowing to her. And she comes from a large, religious, close knit family.


It's obviously worked out pretty good, going on six years later, but to be honest, the reality of getting used to my children, the life style they pretty much take for granted, even though they do community service for the church, for the homeless, Salvation Army, etc., was very hard.

You may need to adjust your ideals, your approach and destination/s to get the results you desire, but it can be done!

[reveis]

Robert:

What do you suggest I may need to adjust?

[whitey]

Welcome, Revieis!

Sorry, I don't have any agency advice ... I just wanted to comment on Robert's new avatar.  What a great picture!  You may get half the latin board to switch over to the Asian side!

[V_Man]

What I mean is that you make it sound like you are about to go on a shopping expedition to purchase a large screen television and you only have this afternoon free to do it before the Super Bowl.
Of course we realise you are only being succinct. I just hope you understand a little about the Latin way of doing things - especially dating. Otherwise you are in for some culture shock.

Good one UC! Contrary to the popular belief on PL most women there at least profess to be good Catholics and they do know what the inside of a church looks like. I was not trying to claim otherwise, even if many others here do.

[Colgando]

Hey Rev! I would say follow your heart until you are successful or until the door closes. I use Jamie's agency in BAQ, Colombia, I dig it, it is a good fit for me personally, not necessarily a good fit for the next man. I do not do online dating personally, I have to verify in person before I spend any of my time talking to a female. I love, love, love the coast in Colombia, I could go again, and again, and again. I live at the beach now, just my thing, my vibe, the coast life. I am a really easy going guy, acuna matata, so I fit right in at the coast.

It is very tempting, very tempting to switch to the Asian side, I never even considered a Pinay until I saw this board, I got hooked on the Latina flavor long time ago. From reading the Asian side, the culture over there seems a bit more reserved, stable, the women appear to be a bit more calm and conservative.

Me, I dig these loca latinas, drives me bananas and I love it!

[robert angel]

Thanks Whitey--I  have a lot of better photos of us, but most are four or five million megapixels--I need to learn how to 'dumb down' the size of them, if I am going to share. Your wife has such a warm and lovely look that your words are indeed a great compliment.

I think that my wife and yours represent more of an 'international exotic' look, one that gives most a bit of a challenge in determining what nationality they really are from appearance alone. I have seen women in the Philippines, that could be characterized as pretty clearly looking like they each came from half a dozen very different nations. You have mentioned that like my wife, your lovely wife is somewhat--if I may say, devout--it sounds like she has strong religious faith, but doesn't push it upon others unduly.

My wife prays the novena on Wednesdays and says that praying the rosary is something she enjoys and would be happy to teach me, but she's far from heavy handed about religion or even perfect church attendance. She demonstrates her faith in her general, everyday behavior--being modest and kind to others, not self absorbed. It is part of her foundation, as are the values instilled in her by her family (and our families) that she so dearly loves.

Reveis,

It's hard for me to tell you what to adjust, not knowing that much about you. But from the outside looking in, I would think that you might have better luck with women not caught up in the hustle and bustle and sometimes promiscuous, not too big on the truth, lives that many are said to live in the big Latin American cities. I am generalizing, based largely on what I've read here, and I strongly suggest you delve into the archives on this site--they can teach you a great deal. In here, day to day, it's hit or miss and sometimes you can get side tracked by silly dramas.

That's not to say you won't find a gem in the city and the fact that you're not looking for some 20 year old girl/woman bodes well.  Being educated is also a big plus in my book. I orginally set out looking for a woman a bit younger than my wife, but after about half a dozen years of regular contact, we knew we had a good chance and had sorted a lot of things out. For most couples, it shouldn't take anywhere near that long--I was really 'gun shy' and more than most guys, after a divorce with two kids and all.

Speaking of religion, you can meet women who are very religious, yet will sell their bodies for sex, among other things. I have mentioned the time two prostitutes offered themselves and when politely declined, noticed that mass was convening and insted opted to attend church.

A good, fruitful search for the right wife and mother almost always takes a good amount of time, money and involves some setbacks before you meet the one who will help you both mutually fulfill your dreams.

[Researcher]

      Checkout the Philippines.You will probably find what you are looking for there.If you read the archives you will find alot of guys talking bad about Colombianas. So, it must be true right... There are alot of good ladies in Colombia and other countries just don't think you can reach into a crowd of 'em, pull one out and she'll be everything you want.You gotta get in there and look, spend some time getting to know her and use good judgement and common sense. Just like they say:It's not like picking out a puppy.


      Researcher

[Bob_S]

I'm an American, 45, just divorced with two kids age 15 and 11.  I want to marry a woman about my age who will not be bringing any dependent children.

That may be tough.  Not impossible.  There are childless women who want to remain childless.  But if you are open to a woman who may have grown independent children, then that could happen.

Looking for a traditional church going lady.

Catholic or Protestant?

I'm in search of a reputable agency that will provide an apartment and introductions.  Any advice?

In LA it is possible to find such an agency.  But in the Phils, such agencies are officially illegal.

How many visits before being comfortable about proposing?

With regards to how many visits obviously the answer is 3.14159265. 

So few?  I dunno.  He may have to go as many as SQRT(ln(Ï€)^-1) times.  Just in case, you know.

[dennislevy]

Hi
Utopia Cowboy was busting your chops, hope you understand that it was just an initiation.

BUT if you want the veterans to give you some help, best to cough up some vitals. A town of 50,000 in the Northeast, come on? do you live in New York State, or Mass or Pennsylvania or Maine? Believe me no one is going to come after you and you never have to reveal your name.

If you want to answer an honest question with cute little comeback questions.....the vets aren t going to give a flying rip about trying to get you focused.

OK, you re an American guy who is 45 and you live in a small town in the NE. with two kids.

Big whoop.

Where do you live in the NE?  what is your lifestyle?
What is your religion?  Colombia is 90% Catholic, are you looking for a Catholic woman or specific denomination of Protestestantism  or a Mormon or a Jehovah s Witness or an  Evangelical woman, because there are women other then Catholics in Colombia, lots of them.

why do you want a woman of your age? Most American men want to find someone younger.....

Do you expect a Colombian wife to take care of your adolecent kids. Do they live with you or with the mom or both.

There is no real numer for how many trips....Some guys find someone in one or two trips...but thats rare. Some guys need a bunch of trips, some guys never can figure out how to do it, Ands some guys say hell with this, Im moving to Colombia (like me......and Andy and Mickey.......)

Now Im sure oyu can pony up some answers without giving away the family jewels.

OK?

Dennis
Colombia

  

[Bob_S]

Please explain your 180 degrees culture comment.

If I may.
Your posts are brief and business-like.  Just the facts. ma'am.  Latin culture leans towards vibrant, vivacious, colorful, chaotic.  Some guys love it, some guys can't stand it.  Marry a woman from that, and 99% chance you will bring that into your home.  If you're not familiar with it, you are setting yourself up for an expensive disaster.  You may need to adjust your focus by looking towards a country with a culture that is more in line with what you want in your home.  Are you Latino yourself?  Or are you in some way already familiar with Latin American culture?  Do you speak Spanish?