New Member Here. Leaving For villavicencio colombia

[Tanuki]

I agree with FT.  Carzy or not, my back up plan does not include another woman in the wings.  Being that this is my first trip to the Philippines, I am sure there is a lot to see if it doesn't work out.  Then again, I may eat crow.  I don't mind eating crow.  Once you get past the claw and the feathers, it goes down pretty good after that.  But, some how I doubt I will have a problem finding something else to get into should this not work out.  I am very good at turning a bad situation around and good at keeping a positive prespective about things.

I have scoped out hotels and know if I need to change, I have an idea where to go.  I have studies maps of manila and been reading plenty of travel guides.  If this lady turns out not to be the apple in my eye, I know how to pop smoke in that event.

[dtibbet]

Dan

If you want to buy health insurance, you will need a Colombian cedula, a national ID, they are issued and sold to foreigners, the cedula will cost about 150,000 pesos, between 75 and 80 dollars, and DAS (the national agency that controls movement in and out of Colombia by foreigners, as well as nationals) will issue and sell a cedula

Dennis, sorry, I meant travel Insurance that would cover emergencies. sorry.

[Alabamaboy!]

Yes I told them (each of the girls I had chatted with long periods of time.....before two different trips), that I was more serious with them, that we seemed to have the best online chemistry, BUT all that being said, I am coming down there to meet other women I have talked to and met online.

I even said all that when I was just starting out with my now wife. But she didn't trip. She responded normally. Because it was the beginning of the relationship and she was not dying to throw herself at me and beg me to marry her. She understood that there would be other women at the beginning. Because I am just coming down there and seeing the place for the first times. And it is normal to have many different friends and acquaintances until you are in a serious relationship...which I believe to be when you put the ring on her finger.

Until you have the ring on the finger, I think it is best to assume that there is a very real possibility that you and her may be having some kind of relationship with someone else as well in case the relationship between you and your girl falls through. It may or may not be happening, but I think you would be stupid to think otherwise. Especially in regards to your girl. Because there are unlimited guys who are going to be hitting on your girl down there on a daily basis. They have access to her every day, and you only when you are down there. So it is a pretty big deal for her to make a solid commitment to you and not go out anymore with these "guy friends" who probably 95% of them are trying to get down her pants.

[Alabamaboy!]

I agree with FT.  Carzy or not, my back up plan does not include another woman in the wings.  Being that this is my first trip to the Philippines, I am sure there is a lot to see if it doesn't work out.  Then again, I may eat crow.  I don't mind eating crow.  Once you get past the claw and the feathers, it goes down pretty good after that.  But, some how I doubt I will have a problem finding something else to get into should this not work out.  I am very good at turning a bad situation around and good at keeping a positive prespective about things.

I have scoped out hotels and know if I need to change, I have an idea where to go.  I have studies maps of manila and been reading plenty of travel guides.  If this lady turns out not to be the apple in my eye, I know how pop smoke in that event.

You agree with FT? That's good because he said to have a backup plan. Exactly what I am suggesting.

And you will be going to Philippines? That is good. I have been to Philippines many times. My ex is from Luzon. But Philippines is much, much different than Colombia. In my opinion, the Filipinas are not going to give you 1/4 the problems of the Colombianas. And especially because they speak English. In Colombia the culture is very different.

You know before I went to the Philippines my ex was the only one I talked to or wrote to from there. She was my only plan, no back up plan. And I married her and we had a lot of good time together. And would still be together today if she would not have gotten addicted to Macys.com, EBAY, and the satellite feed with the Filipino soap operas. I think the now back up plan can work much better in PI than in Colombia. They are literally two different worlds.

[dtibbet]

well Dtibbets,



I think you should give  this particular women all your attention when you arrive.  Most men will not be able to do this, because you are going to be pursued by many others.  It is much easier to get distracted and tempted by all the other women.  Sometimes when men start down that path of seeing many women, it is hard to stop.  All this really depends on the man.  Do you REALLY  want to find one lady to live with, a wife perhaps?  If you haven't had your fill of women yet, then obviously you are travelling to the right country.  After you arrive, you will likely have access to high quality women, similar in appearance to the one you are webcamming with currently.  It will be very tempting.  If you want to date, then date, if you want to enjoy the company of one lady then give this gal all you got and let the chips fall where they man.

Fathertime, i have  had my share of women as many of you have had. ready for just one good women. Your advice is great and soild thank you.

[dtibbet]

      Just like AB said, you can never tell about what kind of chemistry you will have until you meet in person.Also, the using the internet you only know what the other person has told you about themselves. Even on webcam they are only revealing to you what they want you to know.It could be true or they could be covering up alot of things....skeletons in the closet. Let me illustrate my point:

 

 Researcher, yes i agree, i hope no skeletons in the closet. whats the old adage, "if its to good to be true" )                          

[Alabamaboy!]

Dan

If you want to buy health insurance, you will need a Colombian cedula, a national ID, they are issued and sold to foreigners, the cedula will cost about 150,000 pesos, between 75 and 80 dollars, and DAS (the national agency that controls movement in and out of Colombia by foreigners, as well as nationals) will issue and sell a cedula

Dennis, sorry, I meant travel Insurance that would cover emergencies. sorry.

I have never used travel insurance. Most medical things there cost a fraction of what they do here, so I figured I would just pay cash. Even here in the States, I have a very high deductible and do not bother much with the medical things in the States. I just go to Mexico which is nearby and pay cash. The care is as good or better in most cases. I don't need to wait weeks or months for the appointment. And I don't need to worry that they will be raising my rates or whatever based on my utilization of medical services or because I am taking Zocor for cholesterol for example. I just use the high deductible plan for emergencies. But I have nothing when I am in Colombia.

I have been researching some things though because I hope to be spending several months a year in Colombia soon. I should have my cedula in June. With the cedula I can get a "Cadillac" health plan in Colombia which costs a fraction of good health insurance in the States. And it covers you for care in the US as long as you are not out of Colombia for more than 3 months at a time. I forget the name of the insurance. It is on another Colombian travel forum. I think it might be Colmedical or something like that.

[Jeff S]

I still don't get what "back-up plan" means.

If it means if things don't work out, you have in-mind something to do besides hitting the bars and hoping you get lucky? Well DUH! You'd be a pretty obtuse human being if you didn't have some kind of back-up plan for anything you do in life.

If it means you have a whole bunch of women who are expecting you to arrive and meet you, then, I'd say you do a disservice to your Plan A, and if she has any kind of brains or self esteem at all, she won't have nearly the same attitude toward you as she might if she knew you were coming to visit her. This isn't just about you picking someone, it's about her picking you too.

If you're just out dating and exploring, then anything goes - but if you're looking for one special person don't miss out because you didn't have the confidence to commit some time and attention to find out if she's really it or not.

[utopiacowboy]

"If you're just out dating and exploring, then anything goes - but if you're looking for one special person don't miss out because you didn't have the confidence to commit some time and attention to find out if she's really it or not."

La verdad. The problem is most guys don't know what they want and they wouldn't recognize it if it hit them. And let's face it, Colombia is one of the best candy stores on the planet and if you got the money, you're going to have a good time.  I would have to say that most guys on PL have no interest in getting married. Not that I blame them - I know a guy who's always paid for sex and he says he's far ahead of the rest of us getting it "free". I would have to agree with him at this point.

[Tanuki]

You agree with FT? That's good because he said to have a backup plan. Exactly what I am suggesting.

AB, FT said have a back up plan. FT did not elaborate as what type of back up plan to have.  I think you are reading to much into what he said.  I do agree with the idea of a back up plan. But, my idea of a back up plan does not include stringing half dozen to a dozen girls along.  Now, I am not a juggler and do not think keeping that many girls on the side allows you to truly get to know one.  Your mind has work all the angles and all the different conversations.  At some point you become clouded and really didn't get to know any of them.

Maybe you are the type who can juggle but, I think most guys can't and they get lost in sauce. This may have caused them throw away a gem, a real missed opportunity.  I remember the first time I went to Brazil on business, I lost my gosh darn mind down there.  Having a great @ss was standard issue down there on all the women.  On top of that, you could darn near have your pick.  It's pretty easy to turn into a teenager.

[Alabamaboy!]

I still don't get what "back-up plan" means.

If it means if things don't work out, you have in-mind something to do besides hitting the bars and hoping you get lucky? Well DUH! You'd be a pretty obtuse human being if you didn't have some kind of back-up plan for anything you do in life.

If it means you have a whole bunch of women who are expecting you to arrive and meet you, then, I'd say you do a disservice to your Plan A, and if she has any kind of brains or self esteem at all, she won't have nearly the same attitude toward you as she might if she knew you were coming to visit her. This isn't just about you picking someone, it's about her picking you too.

If you're just out dating and exploring, then anything goes - but if you're looking for one special person don't miss out because you didn't have the confidence to commit some time and attention to find out if she's really it or not.

I think the backup plan is having other women to contact if things do not work out. It does not need to be a long list, but some gals with some potential. Especially if it is going to be a relatively short trip, you don't want to waste your time wandering the streets solo looking for some women to go out with once you are already there.

And you are right, this process is about her picking you too. And you can bet that if she has anything going for her at all in the looks or personality department she is getting bombarded with attention there in Colombia. Even though most of the guys will not want a long term commitment. So she will have unlimited "Backup Plans" if things don't work out. And she is not paying thousands of dollars for the trip. You are.

I have to disagree with Jeff S. I think that if the woman has good self esteem she will not be very upset that you are going to meet up with some other lady friends that you have met online during your first trip to Colombia, for a coffee or something. She will think it is normal. Because it is. Nobody is saying you need to take them to your hotel room or all night romancing. Just meeting other women and talking to them is not a crime. You should try to stay in the driver's seat as long as you can. It all depends too on how much you have already painted yourself into a corner.

Now after you spend time with her and she really likes you and the chemistry is good on her part, she will definitely be trying to put you on lock down if she is interested and will not want you to be going to Crepes and Waffles for a coffee with some other hottie. But for right now, at the beginning, how can she get upset or feel bad? You have not even met in person yet. My advice is if she is pushing to "lock you up" at this stage of the relationship, before even meeting, you should  be very careful.

I think you can still be "looking for someone special" and at least talk to some other contacts you have made online at the very beginning. I know the guys here are looking for someone to marry, but if you look at the majority of the mistakes made by guys, they are due to being desperate and latching onto someone that is not really in synch with them, not by having a "good one that got away" because they were taking a little time to test the chemistry.

[Alabamaboy!]

Tanuki:

I never mentioned to "string anyone along". You can be honest with them.

Ultimately it is his life and he has gotten some nice advice from some of the guys who have had excellent success with going down with one girl in mind and dating that one girl. And also from some other guys who have taken a different approach. So it can work out for him either way.

I just wish him the best of luck. You too in PI! I loved Makati City.....and the countryside is so green and beautiful once you get out of the city.  Have fun.

[Tanuki]

It all depends too on how much you have already painted yourself into a corner.

I think some of you folks need to have a hard look at your selves.  Just because you are talking to one girl does not mean you have painted yourself in a corner.  Your not trapped.  You can walk away at any point and time if you don't think she is the one. You really need to ask yourself; why would do you feel trapped by talking to only one girl? What? You afraid you don't have the huevos to look her in the eye and say sorry, I don't think it will workout? So, now your stuck and will have to carry on?  Dude, I think there is some man-up issues you need to work on.

I had one failed marriage and do not plan to have another.  Now that I am smarter and been around the block, this next marriage is going to be with a lady that I know I am compatible with. In my eyes, trying to date a bunch of woman at once does not look like the recipe for success I am looking for.
AB-Don't take me as a hard case. I am not that type. I consider this to be a excellent and informative discussion.  I value everyones view and situation.  I ma just trying to be a hard seller for the take it easy and slow side.

[Tanuki]

Tanuki:

I never mentioned to "string anyone along". You can be honest with them.

AB, I know you didn't mention you would do it but, wouldn't you be doing that even thought you may not mean too?  What I mean by that; Your talking to girl number three, she is a real gem and you have a great time.  Now, you still have girl 4 and 5 to see.  What do you tell girl 3?  Hey! hold on now, I still have 4 and 5? If you don't visit 4 and 5, you still kept them waiting while talking to girl 3. Is that the not the essence of stringing people along?

[Micky]

Dan -

Unless things have changed,  and they may have,  I do not know.  You can not get a cedula from DAS with a tourest visa.  Also,  when you go through customs they CAN give you a 30/60/90 day tourest visa stamp in you're passport.  Normally they will not give you more than 60,  because they lose revenue.  You will have to go to the DAS office where ever you are at and apply for an extention,  a thirty day extention used to be approx.  248,000 COP.  They have also changed the cost for the penalty for overstaying you're visa,  even one day!  The penalty used to be 50% of minimum salary or approx 248,000 COP,  NOW the penalty is something like 7X's minimum salary.  You can look that up on their website.  I had to get a new cedula in Feb and read the new changes and charges and they are very steep.  Do not wait to get you're extention,  DAS is slow and inefficient and it is not unusual to have to go there three or four days to take care of anything,  although they have gotten better,  they are still DAS.  The best to you.

Love - Micky

[Colgando]

Interesting thread and discussion.

I do not think AB is talking about stringing these women along, I think he is talking about getting to know a bunch of women, getting to know the mutual compatibility, getting to know the culture and how these women operate before zeroing in on one female.

IMO, the one woman trip presupposes certain expectations on both people, expectations of exclusivity. The I am going to meet and get to know several women trip presupposes a different set of expectations on both people, expectations of seeing multiple women at the same time. I think both options are equally viable and a man can adopt either approach, whatever is to the man's liking and comfort zone. After my first trip, my angle is that I am going to meet and get to know several women to find the right one for me and so that she can see if I am the right one for her. The women I dated in Colombia were ok with this.

[utopiacowboy]

The problem is one size fits all advice. It really depends on the guy's life situation what is advisable for him.

I have a friend at work who is just getting out of a bad long term relationship. Even though he is in his early 30s he doesn't have much experience with women. Would I tell this guy to meet just one woman that he had been corresponding with? Definitely not. The guy needs to go out with a lot of women and get some life experience before he settles down. A guy like him is likely to just go for the first attractive woman who is halfway decent to him.

[Alabamaboy!]

Tanuki,

Do you have any other aliases you are posting under here on this site? Because you are starting to sound very familiar.

First you make statements like:

"You afraid you don't have the huevos to look her in the eye and say sorry, I don't think it will workout? So, now your stuck and will have to carry on?  Dude, I think there is some man-up issues you need to work on."

Then you say:

"AB-Don't take me as a hard case."

That is kind of ridiculous.

I think this board is really most valuable when it contains information from guys who have "been there, done that". And I have been to Philippines several times and married a Filipina using the "all eggs in one basket" method. We had a good marriage for awhile before she got addicted to material things and changed who she started out as.

Now I am happily married to a Colombiana. And have had experience with the method of chatting and talking to one girl before going on the trip. And I have explained what can happen if you "have the huevos" to tell her you are not interested in her. She can cyberstalk you, make problems for you with other women you are dating. Have you ever heard the saying about "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?

I have a lot of experience and I am just putting out that information to the OP who is not named Tanuki. He has gotten some great advice from some of the guys who went "all eggs in one basket" such as UC. And they had good success. And I and some others are giving some other boots on the ground experiences. That's all. He can have good results with either method. This is not a chemistry project where there is only one way to do things.

It seems kind of funny that you also wrote: "I am just a hard seller for the take it easy and slow ride". Even though you are promoting the idea that a guy should go down to Colombia with just one girl in mind and not even entertain the idea of meeting anyone else for an innocent coffee or lunch date. That seems to be the opposite of the "take it easy and slow ride." That seems like a more intense situation where both parties are devoting everything to each other, blocking out all other things and people,  and then seeing if things work out or not. I am not saying that is a bad thing to do, but not really taking it easy and slow.

Now about "stringing girls along"....I never did that. I was honest with them and told them what I was doing. If we were not engaged or anything, then I was just dating until I could determine who was the best fit for my life and my family. Is that a bad thing in your eyes? If so why? And if the girls did not have a problem with it why would you? My wife right now was in that same situation before we got engaged and married. And it was not a huge deal. It was not years that I did this, it was weeks, or possibly a couple months. No big deal. And I did not ask about it, but I assumed that she was still on the market for finding a serious partner until we became engaged. That is what I think is the typical thought process with these women and I would think the guys too. If you are not engaged, then you have no real right to demand exclusivity.

I think your problem is you are thinking too much like a gringo. And think everything is cut and dried. Right and Wrong. Black and white. But in Colombia, very few people think that way, well....I should say in Cali or on the Coast where I spent the majority of my time. Everything is very fluid, gray...not black and white. So it is OK to date and go out with different people if you are not married. I am not saying you need to take them all to bed and scar them for life. But a coffee at Crepes and Waffles is not so bad is it?

I am glad you are heading to Philippines, because I think that if you were going to Colombia you would have a pretty hard time.

[dtibbet]

Micky, thank you sir. good info. I'm going to ask for a 90 day at the airport. Never hurts to ask right:) If not, I'll keep going back to DAS. A hassle..but I have to respect their Law and Customs. If , i decide to stay for a year, I'll try to get a student (Spanish classes) visa or a pensioners visa.

[Alabamaboy!]

Interesting thread and discussion.

I do not think AB is talking about stringing these women along, I think he is talking about getting to know a bunch of women, getting to know the mutual compatibility, getting to know the culture and how these women operate before zeroing in on one female.

IMO, the one woman trip presupposes certain expectations on both people, expectations of exclusivity. The I am going to meet and get to know several women trip presupposes a different set of expectations on both people, expectations of seeing multiple women at the same time. I think both options are equally viable and a man can adopt either approach, whatever is to the man's liking and comfort zone. After my first trip, my angle is that I am going to meet and get to know several women to find the right one for me and so that she can see if I am the right one for her. The women I dated in Colombia were ok with this.

Exactly the approach I would suggest to all guys going down for the first time. Or even the first couple trips. Nothing compares to face to face chemistry.

[dtibbet]

utopiacowboy, i agree with you. fortunately i have had my share of the women thing. I will concetrate on this one, and if it dosent work, I have other female friends in Colombia. Its all good...

[Alabamaboy!]

Good luck down there. The main thing is knowing yourself and what you are looking for. And you sound like you have that down pat.

[Colgando]

Exactly the approach I would suggest to all guys going down for the first time. Or even the first couple trips. Nothing compares to face to face chemistry.

I agree with your suggestion, many of the women I dated, I could have easily spent hours upon hours chatting with online, they said all the right things and responded in all the right ways, had all the right characteristics to pursue a relationship, good looking profile pics, but after a two hour date, I could make an evaluation on attraction and chemistry that stopped the developing relationship in its tracks. This further solidified my hatred for online dating, I am probably unique in that sense because online dating is probably the method of choice for most people, but I just can't come around to doing that again, I just don't feel it, can't get into it. I gotta meet her first before I decide if I want to talk to her for romantic purposes, I have plenty of female friends to talk to her in the US, too bad none of them are as sweet and sexy as these Colombianas   

My business projects need to get up to speed so I can get out of the employee quadrant and get into the business owner quadrant! Then I can get my a$$ down to South America for part of the year and do as Andy, DL, Micky and Zon are doing, and soon to be AB!

Yes sir, I will adopt this approach until one of them is still hanging in there with me, I do not know time frames, she is going to have to be ride or die with me, she is going to have to love me, and I am going to have to love her, then I will make moves to lock it down. Different way to look at it coming from the US dating scene, but hey, I can roll with that. Judge a Colombiana by her actions, I can understand that.

[Researcher]

      

    Well Dan, I just hope it works out well for you and this woman is what you think she is in person....



                                      


      Researcher

[Micky]

Dan -

Absolutely,  asking for 90 does not cost a cent.  Also very good of you to note that Colombia's rules are THEIR rules and should be followed.  If and when you do get an extention be sure and keep the separate piece of paper that is actually the extention,  when you leave the country customs will ask for it,  you do not want to be delayed and/or pay twice.  You can can check their web site for current rules and process.

AB and UC -

Both offering reasonable and sound advice.  As noted,  one size does not fit all.  From Dan's few posts,  it seems to me that he is going about things in a pretty good way and thinking things through.  The GREAT thing about a board,  such as this,  is the different views and experience from it's members.  A reasonable men will read,  filter,  and use to his advantage.  A unreasonable man is in a leaky boat anyway.

Tanuki -

You give you're valid view and thoughts on this thread,  as others,  BUT then you cloud the issue by getting a little huffy about others posts.  You do not NEED to "sell" YOU"RE posted opinion as being "more" valid.  Dan seems a smart guy and he can figure out what will work for him.  Maybe you can relax a little,  give you're two cents,  like the other guys did,  without the ego.

Love - Micky