New Member Here. Leaving For villavicencio colombia

[dtibbet]

Hi all, my name is Dan and i just joined a few weeks ago. I love this site. All of you are very helpful and Informative. My head has been buried in the forums (last 2 weeks) as all of you say to do:) Well..here is my story:)

I am a 46 yr old white male, divorced, retired military and pro-model (semiretired) photographer. I have been studying audio Spanish courses for a month, I am a beginner even though i understand more than i speak. Its a very frustrating work in progress but its my main goal for coming to Latin America besides being tired of the games by American (frustrated) women lol. I am willing to locate to Central or South America if I choose. I have enough funds with my pension to do so with out struggling. I think lol.

Three months ago I broke up with my  American girlfriend and tried the American Dating site, WOW, what a shock! I had no luck at all. It was hurtful and demoralizing for me ) I thought, could I be that bad? No American women wants me? Well my last ( 8 girlfriends were all models). Midlife is a muther lol. One month ago I joined Latin Cupid. Oh my, I was in heaven, so many women contacting me. I speak with them on MSN , Skype and web-cam. Every night I am on-line. Its great and I love it, while reading all the great forums all of you have posted on this site.

Of all  the Latin women I have been speaking to for the last month, One really stands out. I really like her allot and she says she feels the same way. We spend at least 2-4 hrs every night on MSN webcam for the last month learning about each other, our family's, countries so on and so on. Thank God for the Internet and webcam. What a great tool for getting to know someone! I highly recommend it. Anyways, I'm rambling lol.  She just turned 29, a Colombian, has a degree in Hospitality and Tourism, single, never married, no kids and lives with her mom in condo in Villavicencio, 2 hours outside of Bogota. She's really Incredible, beautiful, caring, smart, funny,  i could go on and on. We have really hit if off.

I leave at the end of this month (April) for Bogota. She will be picking me up at the Airport (bye herself lol.she was coming with her sister/that's another forum i read) and we will spend 3 days in Bogota before we head back to Villavicencio. She and her mom has already found me a very nice apartment to rent while I stay in Villavicencio. In fact, its right across the street from  their condo. Her mom got me a deal on this very nice apartment for nothing. $100 us per per month. She sent pictures and has showed me webcam shots of it. sweet deal. So funny how the locals get a different deal than than we do lol. Anyways, we will travel on the weekends (she works during the week) around Colombia. I will stay 3 months or longer. I am lucky enough to have that option depending how things go? Plus shes already has me a Spanish teacher lined up at the school there. I will take classes during the day and Immerse myself in the culture. I am so excited. cant wait, so here is my questions for all you Planet Love veterans out there:) and bye the way, thank all of you again for all the helpful tips and advice. This site rocks....

1. I'm kinda putting all my eggs in one basket with this women when i go to Colombia, But i  Really do like her allot. Is this smart? I have allot of other contacts in Colombia from Latin cupid.
2. Any info on Villavicencio would be awesome. I can find very little on the net. safety, weather, people. She has told me allot but I wanted to know from you PL Veterans:)
3. Were in your option would you live Medellín or Bogota?

Well, that's it. Thank all of you again for your time. This site rocks. I look forward to keeping you up to date on my Trip:) Should be Interesting.

[Researcher]

   Well Dan, this is a good topic that has been debated here on PL.I'll give you my take.

    1) In my opinion, bad move.Just as you said you are putting all of your eggs in one basket.While the internet is a good tool for meeting a woman there is no way to tell what kind of chemistry, very important, you will have in person. I hope you have a backup plan although it sounds like you have enough freedom that this shouldn't be a problem.I'll be honest with you, if I was single and able to move to Colombia long term I would join the ranks of AndyLee, Dennis and Zon.I sure as heck would not be settling down with one woman at this point.

    2)Don't have any info.

    3)Medellin. Bogota is crowded and polluted.


      Researcher

[AndyLee]

First of all Dan, welcome to P-L. You are absolutely right, there is a ton and more of good information on this site for guys like us. Congratulations on your upcoming trip to meet the one that could be the woman of your life.
You have a broad background of dealing with women through your business and you have the best attitude for coming to Colombia. I'd describe you as being wide open in a good way. You are respectful of the women and their culture and you are doing your homework, including the language. I wish you all the best and I think you are going to have a ball here. You've got the right attitude and that is the all important ingredient!
I think you are doing an excellent plan to meet your girl for 2 or 3 days in Bogota and have a honeymoon before heading off to her home town and meeting her family. I'm delighted you have her mother on board, too. That is a really good sign that your girl wants to include her family in your plans with her.
I've not been to Villivencencio yet so can't share much in that question. I will say it's a small city and it has been my experience that the women we meet in the smaller cities are a little more down to earth and easy to get along with. I don't have any hard evidence on that, just a general feeling I get as I travel around the country and meet women from different social backgrounds.
As for the difference between Medellin and Bogota you're talking the difference between New York City and Richmond, Virginia is one example. Huge differences in climate, culture, people. Given my druthers I'd rather live in Villivencencio than I would Bogota, and I'd rather live in Pereira than I would Medellin.
Good luck, god bless and keep on doing all you are doing, it will work wonders for you here. Only other suggestion, if you are really settled on Colombia then take a look at Colombian Cupid instead of Latin American Cupid. Both are good sites, but CC will have 2x the number of women in your age group.
take care,
AndyLee

[dtibbet]

Researcher, thank you, yeah I think your right! I wont put all my eggs in one baskets. I have all the time in the world. might as well enjoy. Ill line up some more meetings while I'm there. Yes, i hear Bogota is really bad now with all the traffic....

[dtibbet]

Andylee, thank you for the kind words and advice. Colombian cupid? Good i will sign up thank you. I did a search and the net said Latin Cupid was better and had more women to men ratio. Ill take your advice.

[utopiacowboy]

There are varying opinions on putting all your eggs in one basket. I did it and I've been married longer than nearly anyone here. The only thing I would mention is sometimes the chemistry in person doesn't match the online chemistry. OTOH sometimes it is even better in person.

[Jeff S]

Hi dti and welcome.

Your plan sounds great. You are not putting all of your eggs in one basket going to visit her. No one said everything has to be in parallel - serial works too. Go meet her, enjoy yourself, travel with her, enjoy - and if you don't hit it off, you'll be in Colombia, a place crawling with single women with time and money on your hands.

You probably really piss her off going down there and having a lot of other women lined up outside your door, so you can shop and compare, especially if she thinks you are coming to visit her. Man up - risk a little - put it out on the line. She'll appreciate it and if it all goes south - well, you can always try again.

Good luck on your trip and please keep us posted on what's happening in your world.

- Jeff

[dtibbet]

Jeff S,
rock on my man. great advice. your right, i really like her and if it doesn't work out I'll still be in Colombia and I can make a few phone calls, enjoy the country. maybe come visit some of the guys on PL in Colombia:) Guess whose coming to lunch guys and girls hahahahahha

[Tanuki]

dtibbet,

I am going to the philippines and it will be my first trip.  Like you, I am trying the one woman method.  We have been talking for seven months and we talk every night for 2-3 hours!  Than is not like me; in the past I couldn't talk to a woman longer than 30 minutes on the phone.  If I get there and it doesn't workout. At least I tried, made a good friend and learned a lot!

I am really looking forward to my trip!  I wish you the best of luck with the gal your going to meet.

[Alabamaboy!]

There have been guys with great results with the "all eggs in one basket" method. But alot of guys with bad results. I did this twice and both times it was a disaster. I was not interested in them at all after meeting them in person. NO chemistry on my part. And then I had a problem because they were crushed. And even though these cities are pretty big, you would be surprised at how many times they will cross your paths again over the years if you are visiting that particular city frequently, date other girls there, and have friends there.

Villavicencio is supposedly a great place.

I think almost everyone who has traveled to both Medellin and Bogota would put Medellin as a far better place to live or visit.

Have fun!

[dtibbet]

Tanuki, thank you sir. Sam back to you. Exciting time it is:) good luck to you.

[dtibbet]

Alabamaboy!, awesome , thanks for the info. anyone got any recommendations  or a link to getting some health insurance for Colombia? thanks

[Researcher]

       Just like AB said, you can never tell about what kind of chemistry you will have until you meet in person.Also, the using the internet you only know what the other person has told you about themselves. Even on webcam they are only revealing to you what they want you to know.It could be true or they could be covering up alot of things....skeletons in the closet. Let me illustrate my point:

                             

           You have a good plan as far as meeting her in Bogota for 3 days first.At least if she proves to be batsh!t crazy you can make a hasty exit and still be in the city in which you landed. But look around and make sure you know how you can return to Bogota if everything falls apart elsewhere. I think I have seen buses with the name of the city where you are going.

           You could be a "one hit wonder" just like other guys here, people do get lucky.Best of luck to you.


                        Researcher

[dennislevy]

Dan
I ve lived and traveled in Colombia for the last three years, including almost 2 years in Bogota and about 8 months in Medellin

I ve been to Villavicencio, dated one girl there for 2 stints maybe 7 days total. I stayed in a hotel called the Gran Reserva, fairly new, paid 60,000 about 33.00 USD for a single room and that included taxes and a very good American breakfast.

Ask your girl to take you to the mall, there is live music there on Friday and Saturday nights.  If you ve got an apartment for 100 dollars a month that is a deal. Villavicencio is a city of 330,000 people, crowded, dirty and not exactly a cultural mecca. Your work is self sustaining. so maybe you won t be bored.

Regarding the all your eggs in one basket theme, the point has been made. You may have hit the proverbial gold mine with the girl, but odds dont favor the exclusive visit one woman only foray....at least in Colombia.  And she has done everything she can to lock you up, and that is to be expected. But I will tell you that if she is a normal colombiana chemistry will be defined in the first few minutes, she wll decide how she feels about you VERY quickly.  

Villavicenco is close to Bogota, its actually between 3 and 4 hours by bus about  20,000 or 22, 000 pesos, if I remember. Getting in and out of Bogota is murderous, traffic is very heavy.

Bogota is a huge city of tremendous energy, lots to do and see, BUT the combination of thin air (its 7500 feet above sea level) , filthy contaminated air and cold nights can wreak havoc on your health, If youve  got respiratory issues, asthma, sore throat, DON T  even think about Bogota as a place to live. I lived there for 21 months, and I NEVER felt entirely well.

Medellin is a much more moderate climate, possilby overall a bit cheaper then Bogota and generally a very pretty city. It s easy to get around in Medellin, there is an overhead metro clean fast efficient and fairly cheap (1550 pesos a ride and no charge for transfers), and transportation will be your biggest savings between the two cities   There are wonderful restaurants in the upscale areas of Medellin...Poblado, Oviedo Parque LLeras but in general, bandeja paisa is heavy, loaded with grease and cholesterol, and there isn t much variety in restaurants in the middle class or even upper middle class barrios in Medellin, lots of Colombian fast food and chicken restaurants.

If you want to buy health insurance, you will need a Colombian cedula, a national ID, they are issued and sold to foreigners, the cedula will cost about 150,000 pesos, between 75 and 80 dollars, and DAS (the national agency that controls movement in and out of Colombia by foreigners, as well as nationals) will issue and sell a cedula

Ok if you ve got more questions...ask.

Have a good day
Dennis

[Researcher]

....a few more illustrations......

                                                 

                                                 


   Researcher

[Tanuki]

      Just like AB said, you can never tell about what kind of chemistry you will have until you meet in person.Also, the using the internet you only know what the other person has told you about themselves. Even on webcam they are only revealing to you what they want you to know.It could be true or they could be covering up a lot of things....skeletons in the closet. Let me illustrate my point:

I agree the physical aspect is very very important.  But, for you to claim that you learn all the person true secrets only through physical interaction, is false.  But, going by your method, your not even getting the chance to spend quality time with them.  You have all these other distractions lined up, your not really getting the chance to learn what this person is truly like.  And just like the internet, in a physical meeting, they are going to tell you only what they want you to know.

I feel what I have learned in these past few month, will really help a lot of things fall into place or dispel a lot of what she said when we do meet.  When AB said it didn't workout and calls the one woman method a fail. I say it was a success and prevented him from finding someone who he might not be compatible with. He still got to meet someone and develop a friendship. Meeting someone new is not a waste, it is a new experience to meet someone he would have never met before.  In the end these are people we are dealing with and should be treated as such.

[Tanuki]

And I would like to add this: when you told the girl you were coming to SA to meet her and fifteen other girls, how do you think she felt?  Then when you did meet her, do you think you really got the full scoop about her? Or, did she tell you what you might want hear to put her best foot forward against the 15 other girls she was competing against?

[Alabamaboy!]

I agree the physical aspect is very very important.  But, for you to claim that you learn all the person true secrets only through physical interaction, is false.  But, going by your method, your not even getting the chance to spend quality time with them.  You have all these other distractions lined up, your not really getting the chance to learn what this person is truly like.  And just like the internet, in a physical meeting, they are going to tell you only what they want you to know.

I feel what I have learned in these past few month, will really help a lot of things fall into place or dispel a lot of what she said when we do meet.  When AB said it didn't workout and calls the one woman method a fail. I say it was a success and prevented him from finding someone who he might not be compatible with. He still got to meet someone and develop a friendship. Meeting someone new is not a waste, it is a new experience to meet someone he would have never met before.  In the end these are people we are dealing with and should be treated as such.

I would call it a failure because I was webcamming and writing to these girls a couple hours a day, for months and months. And then it turns out that we do not have the chemistry in person. Now at that point, if they would have just been cool and formed a friendship, everything would have been fine. But no. They both became cyberstalkers and were getting into my business because they knew other women I was dating later or they were friends of my new girlfriend's cousin or something like that. So now I have to lock down my facebook, not be so open online with my identity, all kinds of things like that. Because there are a lot of crazy people out there.

I would not invest very much time in chatting or whatever before you go down there. Do not paint yourself into a corner. Have a plan "B" and maybe even a plan "C". There is plenty of time to get hooked on one girl later if she proves to be the One.

[Alabamaboy!]

And I would like to add this: when you told the girl you were coming to SA to meet her and fifteen other girls, how do you think she felt?  Then when you did meet her, do you think you really got the full scoop about her? Or, did she tell you what you might want hear to put her best foot forward against the 15 other girls she was competing against?

I told them I was coming to meet other girls. Period. I did not discuss how many. It is not any of their business at that point. But I told them she was my favorite going down there. Because that was the truth. We had a great online chemistry.

If they did not like that I was coming down to meet other women, they should not have gotten involved with me. One of the women was part of an agency as well and was putting herself out there to possibly date other guys.

There are soooooooo many single men and women in Colombia that pretty much any guy whether they are Colombian or gringo is going to have multiple opportunities and relationships going at the same time, with varying degrees of intensity until the couple is engaged. That is what I found to be very normal. 

[fathertime]

Hi all, my name is Dan and i just joined a few weeks ago. I love this site. All of you are very helpful and Informative. My head has been buried in the forums (last 2 weeks) as all of you say to do:) Well..here is my story:)

I am a 46 yr old white male, divorced, retired military and pro-model (semiretired) photographer. I have been studying audio Spanish courses for a month, I am a beginner even though i understand more than i speak. Its a very frustrating work in progress but its my main goal for coming to Latin America besides being tired of the games by American (frustrated) women lol. I am willing to locate to Central or South America if I choose. I have enough funds with my pension to do so with out struggling. I think lol.

Three months ago I broke up with my  American girlfriend and tried the American Dating site, WOW, what a shock! I had no luck at all. It was hurtful and demoralizing for me ) I thought, could I be that bad? No American women wants me? Well my last ( 8 girlfriends were all models). Midlife is a muther lol. One month ago I joined Latin Cupid. Oh my, I was in heaven, so many women contacting me. I speak with them on MSN , Skype and web-cam. Every night I am on-line. Its great and I love it, while reading all the great forums all of you have posted on this site.

Of all  the Latin women I have been speaking to for the last month, One really stands out. I really like her allot and she says she feels the same way. We spend at least 2-4 hrs every night on MSN webcam for the last month learning about each other, our family's, countries so on and so on. Thank God for the Internet and webcam. What a great tool for getting to know someone! I highly recommend it. Anyways, I'm rambling lol.  She just turned 29, a Colombian, has a degree in Hospitality and Tourism, single, never married, no kids and lives with her mom in condo in Villavicencio, 2 hours outside of Bogota. She's really Incredible, beautiful, caring, smart, funny,  i could go on and on. We have really hit if off.

I leave at the end of this month (April) for Bogota. She will be picking me up at the Airport (bye herself lol.she was coming with her sister/that's another forum i read) and we will spend 3 days in Bogota before we head back to Villavicencio. She and her mom has already found me a very nice apartment to rent while I stay in Villavicencio. In fact, its right across the street from  their condo. Her mom got me a deal on this very nice apartment for nothing. $100 us per per month. She sent pictures and has showed me webcam shots of it. sweet deal. So funny how the locals get a different deal than than we do lol. Anyways, we will travel on the weekends (she works during the week) around Colombia. I will stay 3 months or longer. I am lucky enough to have that option depending how things go? Plus shes already has me a Spanish teacher lined up at the school there. I will take classes during the day and Immerse myself in the culture. I am so excited. cant wait, so here is my questions for all you Planet Love veterans out there:) and bye the way, thank all of you again for all the helpful tips and advice. This site rocks....

1. I'm kinda putting all my eggs in one basket with this women when i go to Colombia, But i  Really do like her allot. Is this smart? I have allot of other contacts in Colombia from Latin cupid.
2. Any info on Villavicencio would be awesome. I can find very little on the net. safety, weather, people. She has told me allot but I wanted to know from you PL Veterans:)
3. Were in your option would you live Medellín or Bogota?

Well, that's it. Thank all of you again for your time. This site rocks. I look forward to keeping you up to date on my Trip:) Should be Interesting.

well Dtibbets,

IF I am understanding correctly you are going to Colombia for the first time and intend on staying their for a period of months if not longer.  Is that correct?  This lady you have been interacting has taken the time to link you up with a place to stay and a spanish tutor, and has shown great interest in you over the past months via computer.  You are 46 years old and have dated quite a bit in the past and are no greenhorn when it comes to women.  Assuming I have this part correct, I'll tell you what I think.  

I think you should give  this particular women all your attention when you arrive.  Most men will not be able to do this, because you are going to be pursued by many others.  It is much easier to get distracted and tempted by all the other women.  Sometimes when men start down that path of seeing many women, it is hard to stop.  All this really depends on the man.  Do you REALLY  want to find one lady to live with, a wife perhaps?  If you haven't had your fill of women yet, then obviously you are travelling to the right country.  After you arrive, you will likely have access to high quality women, similar in appearance to the one you are webcamming with currently.  It will be very tempting.  If you want to date, then date, if you want to enjoy the company of one lady then give this gal all you got and let the chips fall where they man.

You should have a backup plan, but keep in mind it is a BACKUP a plan B.  That means that you may not use it, this plan is only used if plan A does not work out.  If you start moving into plan B, before your are done with plan A, then you will definitely blow your plan A (the outstanding woman you have been webcamming with).  

Good luck with the endeavor!
Fathertime!

[Alabamaboy!]

That is good advice from FT. You have already done a lot of leg work and invested a lot of time and energy so definitely it is a good idea to go 100% with the one woman first and see how things turn out. You may be one of the lucky ones who meets "The One" on the first trip. But the plan B is essential so you do not blow your entire trip if things do not work out. Traveling to Colombia is not cheap these days and most people are not swimming in money either. So you want to squeeze as much productivity out of each trip. If you feel things are not really clicking in the first week or so, then just be honest and tell her that, and move on. Don't hang in there and waste alot of time, energy and cash when the chemistry is not there. If you cut things sooner rather than later it will avoid more drama and complications later. It does not do either of you justice to hang in their if things do not click.

If you are basing your attraction to her primarily because of her good looks, you need to wait until you get down there before you get in much deeper. Because there is virtually an unlimited number of single, beautiful, available women there. So you need to see that and experience that before she gets you on lock down all the way.

[Tanuki]

I told them I was coming to meet other girls. Period. I did not discuss how many. It is not any of their business at that point. But I told them she was my favorite going down there. Because that was the truth. We had a great online chemistry.

Based on the number of "thems", I take it you were not doing the one woman method.  I have been doing it a little bit different.  I first started talking to several women on-line and then, out of that, I narrowed it down to one.  That one, is the one and only lady I have been talking with for several hours each night.

I am just going on your last post but, it seems you are spending your time on-line talking to a couple different "favorites."  So, I am not sure how much quality information you can get out of trying to juggling 2-3 women at the same time. That is why I think multiple does not always work the best, you don't really get to know the person.

[dennislevy]

FT
Now  THAT is great advice

Well said!

 

[Alabamaboy!]

Based on the number of "thems", I take it you were not doing the one woman method.  I have been doing it a little bit different.  I first started talking to several women on-line and then, out of that, I narrowed it down to one.  That one, is the one and only lady I have been talking with for several hours each night.

I am just going on your last post but, it seems you are spending your time on-line talking to a couple different "favorites."  So, I am not sure how much quality information you can get out of trying to juggling 2-3 women at the same time. That is why I think multiple does not always work the best, you don't really get to know the person.

The "thems" is because I made the same mistake twice. At two different times in my life.  I went down there with one girl in mind twice. And spent many hours webcamming and chatting because I thought they were the "one".  I am hard headed and learn things the hard way sometimes.

My advice to guys going down for the first time is to chat with several girls before going down. That will give you great info about those particular women, and also a chance to practice your Spanish and learn more about the way they think and operate down there. But make it clear that you need to know the chemistry before you get serious with anyone. And if she tries to talk you out of that, or disagrees with that, then you know you may have a nutbag on your hands or someone who is very unrealistic. Because there is no way that she could know how the "quimica" is with you either before you actually meet in person.

But when you do meet, it will not take too long to see how things work out.

But don't paint yourself into a corner if things do not work out and you are not feeling it. There is nothing to feel bad about.

If a guy is in his 40's and divorced, he probably has a mental checklist etched in granite about what he is looking for. So it should not be too difficult to know whether to get into a more serious relationship or not with your particular gal after spending a week with her.

[Tanuki]

I told them I was coming to meet other girls. Period. I did not discuss how many. It is not any of their business at that point. But I told them she was my favorite going down there. Because that was the truth. We had a great online chemistry.
 

Okay, AB. I am confused.  I understand that you are useing the term "them" for two different girls.  But you also told each girl you were going to meet other girls.  Even if you were talking to one, you still had to have talked to others in order to meet other girls???

Who is on first?