Just Another Latina-Loving Gringo!

[fathertime]

Hey Father, your message makes sense to me.  One time I was expressing some frustration regarding my ex with my fiance.  My fiance made some impolite remarks regarding my ex and so I very gently let her know that I do not hate my ex and that, in fact, I care about and love her but in the way one loves their sister.  I also reminded her that she is the mother of my son and that my son loves his mother infinitely and that it's better for all of us that we not harbor any bitterness and all try to get along.  Going forward I'll keep any complaints about the ex to myself.    

speaking for myself only, i've decided that when i complain about my previous wife to my current one, the only thing it accomplishes is to make me appear impotent...therefore i keep the complaints to myself or find an outside sounding board to vent on.

this obviously doesn't apply to everyone, it seems that UC has a wonderful relationship with both wives, but that is not meant to be for me, so i'm going to keep the Colombiana wife happy, and keep the ex-wife wooden.

Fathertime!

[fathertime]

I just wanted to add something else that might be slightly off-topic and I would NEVER express this to my fiance as I would not to risk making her feel bad.  But I feel like there will always be an empty place in my heart where my ex used to be.  Even though I know that it was right to get the divorce I will forever regret that we were unable to make it work.  Her and I both worked really hard and tried and tried and tried but it just didn't work.  I don't know if any of you here can relate to this.  I've moved on and I'm happy but I wish we could have worked. 

in this post and another post it appears you are dwelling quite a bit on the ex-wife, i'd let it go.  you expressed that you felt that you should have never been married to begin with, but that is silly, if not for the marriage you would not have a son...perhaps you should be grateful for the time you had together, and now just move into the next chapter without regrets!

Fathertime!

[dennislevy]

Father Time et al

You re right ..ONE of the mos timportant reasons that I live in Colombia isbecause I don t want to bring a woman back to the US.

One of the things I believe that makes for a successful transition into American society for a foreign bride...is a network of family and friends who will accept her.

My mother was a young foreign bride and with the exception of my grandfather (my father s father), my father s family never accepted her.....and my dad  held this against his family until the day he died.  It was an expereince that I remember to this day.   

My parents are dead, I m an only child, and the closest living relatives of either of my parents live in Europe. I cant offer a woman from Colombia a supportive family.  My son who is a great kid of almost 23 would not be interested in being close to a Colombian stepmother, his loyalty is to his mom and rightly so..... and my American ex wife, would be even less interested!   

And for me...to brng a woman to the US, I consider it as a huge risk.

But I also live in Colombia...because I always had the dream of living in another culture and speaking another language daily...

And I also live here because its much less expensive.....then the US. Even if I could have done it...can you imagine how much money it would cost to go out at least once with 200 American women??? God almighty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bit other expenses are considerably less, housing, hotels, meals.....some foods, public transportation.....

And yes, I ve been able to date many beautiful women in Colombia.....something I can t do in the US. i suppose the plenttiude of beautiful women is ONE reason why I live in Colombia and not in Uzbehkistan...!!!!!! jejejejeje 

I do respect my ex wife...she is an excellent mom and we communicate politely. The subject of what I do in Colombia and who I do it with is not discussed...when we chat.

But from time to time she has taken a mini shot at me in an on line chat  ..as in 

you must drive the Colombian ladies crazy.....
and I answer...in what sense do you mean I drive them crazy? 
And she replied.......... only you know in what sense....
And I reply. yes you re right, only I know.

And I won t give up more then that.

From time to time I ve sent fotos to my son of me with Colombian women.. and sicussed aparticular woman...but  that s it. If he watns to tlel his mom something...thats fine. 

[Researcher]

   That's true Dennis. Having a supportive family here is helpful. My family is supportive, especially my mother. She was skeptical at first but after she got to know my wife and saw how good to me she is, my mother warmed up to the idea. My wife says that she is lucky because most mother-in-laws in Colombia treat their daughter-in-laws like crap.


      Researcher

[OrlandoGringo]

in this post and another post it appears you are dwelling quite a bit on the ex-wife, i'd let it go. Fathertime!

Could be.  I think your advice is good.  I think I'll take it! 

[Bob_S]

Could be.  I think your advice is good.  I think I'll take it! 

That's good.  Because I find it hard to imagine any Latina, notorious for fiery temper and jealous demeanor, tolerating your continued association with a woman you once had romantic relations with and still have feelings for.  You could end up being envious of Bobbitt because at least he could be sewn back together eventually.

[OrlandoGringo]