Already in it deep

[Ray]

In my opinion, 6 to 12 months is the ideal time from initial meeting to visit.

Others (Ray) with vastly more experience the myself in the Philippines, consider this too long of a period and suggest a shorter time between initial introduction and a first visit, 2 to 3 months (I think is their preferred time)

Zulu,

I don’t ever remember saying that (?)

There is nothing wrong with your 6-12 month theory. 2-3 months is fine also.

I don’t really have a preferred time frame. When it feels good, do it!

But anyone starting to seriously communicate with prospective mates, should first have a passport and the funds needed for a trip so that they can go when the time is right. 2-3 weeks would be a good length for a first trip.

Ray

[thekfc]

Don't start talking unless you actually intend on making the trip at one point.

Agreed.

If you do not intend on making the trip then you should not be chatting and wasting the other person's time.

[CyberGlitch]

Ok, so now a few flags to keep an eye on.

1. Today got online, chatted for awhile and said her days wasn't well. She "fractured" something but wouldn't give details and told me not to worry she is ok.

2. Got the birthday card she sent me. She tells me she is staying with her sister in manila yet the return address is for someplace in angeles city.

Things that maybe you go hmmmm....

[z_k_g]

Ok, so now a few flags to keep an eye on.

1. Today got online, chatted for awhile and said her days wasn't well. She "fractured" something but wouldn't give details and told me not to worry she is ok.

2. Got the birthday card she sent me. She tells me she is staying with her sister in manila yet the return address is for someplace in angeles city.

Things that maybe you go hmmmm....

CG,

Sounds like you got yourself a scammer.

Dump this chick.

You can play cat and mouse with her and see how far she takes her scam just so you can recognize all the signs later if it happens again. 

Sometimes its good to just play along and check your P-L scam list off as she takes you through the paces. 

At this point its really up 2 you but I would DIVEST any emotions into the situation and treat her like "on the job training."

Time to move on dude!

I went through this exact same exercise around 100 times, after the first 10 or so you can spot them quick and minimize your time spent on dead ends.  You will find that you will start to lose the initial amusement at the ease you can spot the scams (as a proud paying member of P-L  ) and quickly want to dispatch these women to continue your search for your real future sweetie.

Hope this helps.

Zulu

[Ray]

Today got online, chatted for awhile and said her days wasn't well. She "fractured" something but wouldn't give details and told me not to worry she is ok.

Nothing to really worry about yet. If she starts giving you details of how much it cost her for medical attention related to her injury, then upgrade that to flag to red.

Got the birthday card she sent me. She tells me she is staying with her sister in manila yet the return address is for someplace in angeles city

Her being in Angeles City, or even living in Angeles City, is not in itself a bad thing. The thing to watch carefully is whether she is trying to hide the fact that she lives or works there. She may have mailed that card without fully realizing that the postmark would give away the location where it was mailed.

Since Angeles is the sex tourist capital of the Philippines, that would increase the odds of her being in the “trade” by a factor of about 100.

Did you ask her which province or town she was originally from? If she is from Pampanga Province, then her being in Angeles may just be legit and nothing to be overly concerned with.

You’re doing fine so far. Just keep a close watch out for any more suspicious signs.

Note: There are also free tools out there on the Net, like Trace Route, that you can use to trace her IP address to a city where she is massaging you from.

Ray

[euforia51]

Will continue to proceed with caution and just see what happens. It's still early in any relationship we may have.

I really like this girl so far but still have to keep the radar up at this point.

CG,
...
Sounds like you got yourself a scammer.
...
Dump this chick.

Not to bud in on this post but Ray's answer, of course, makes the most sense. From what we can see even with using only the two quotes above, he's doing everything correctly and reporting back here with his questions.

So with that said Zulu, are you ready to pay out on the emotional insurance this man would have needed had he listened to your advice?

[z_k_g]

Euphoria,

I disagree with Ray on this one. 

I think the "great one" has had too much tuba this weekend and his brain is not working properly and that soft spot in his heart is showing! 

This chick is setting CG up for the trick play. If is smells like a rat, looks like a rat and bites like a rat its not gonna be an angry chicken!

In fact, CG has gotten a whiff himself of the impending scam and is just looking for some support.  As you get older that little voice starts to tell you when something is not right, CG is not a sucker, just a newbie at the pinay dating game.

Most of the time that little voice doesn't fail you.

I personally stayed away from all pinays from Angeles, Manila (Capitol region), Cebu, Davao and CDO.  These areas had the highest concentration of bar girls in the Philippines.  Don't get me wrong there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with these pinays in general.  But after weeding through 300+ pinays the trends were quite clear.  These populated area had the most bar girls, scammers and lady boys.  I got sick of the song and dance and modified my search strategy.

I changed my filters on www.dateinasia.com and kept my focus on the Visayas provinces (I like the darker skin pinays), college educated, no children, employed/educated siblings, under 30 and liked foreign men.

I ended up with 3 stunningly beautiful pinays that were exactly what I was looking for (there were many more that were close also) and I narrowed that down to 1 with much pain.  Pinays cry very easily and it literally took weeks just to calm down the two I let go!  They cried every day, it was not a fun thing to experience.  The one I chose is an absolute winner in all respects, and so far its been worth all the diligent work.

Anyways my point to this whole story is to reassure CG that he will be able to find EXACTLY what is he is looking for in the Philippines.  There are thousands of really decent (and absolutely beautiful) women looking for a man that will love and respect them and treat them like a princess! 

He doesn't have to waste his time on this bar girl listening to her bullsh*t stories.  She knows exactly how to hook an unsuspecting foreigner and based on what I've heard so far she is casting her net.

Dump her and move on! 

Zulu

[CyberGlitch]

While the flags are on high alert right now I'm just going to keep the conversation going and see if she can at least explain the return address on the envelope. I'm only more curious then anything right now how she could explain that one is all. She originally from Leyete and said her and her mom visit her sister a couple times a year and they are going back to leyte next week. She's given me her address for leyte as well. Only reason I'm not quick to dump her yet is just because the way she does chat with me and her facebook profile and pictures in it. Nothing is screaming bar girl or similar. I know it could all still be a game and have no problem letting go. The next few days will be interesting talking to her.

[z_k_g]

CG,

On her facebook page, investigate the pictures that she posts and check out her friends and family, will tell you a lot about her.

Zulu

[CyberGlitch]

Oh, trust me I have. Nothing really stood out as questionable in that regard. Lot of albums for family get togethers and vacations but that's about it.

[euforia51]

I ended up with 3 stunningly beautiful pinays that were exactly what I was looking for (there were many more that were close also) and I narrowed that down to 1 with much pain.  Pinays cry very easily and it literally took weeks just to calm down the two I let go!  They cried every day, it was not a fun thing to experience.  The one I chose is an absolute winner in all respects, and so far its been worth all the diligent work.

Zulu ... listen to yourself dude! lmao

Are you portraying yourself to be such a great freakin' guy that you shamelessly broke 2 poor, yet stunningly beautiful, Pinays hearts to end up with the lucky winner behind door number 3? You must have been sweating buckets after doing all of that hard work. Sorry man, but you're talking as if you're shopping for a used car. And you hope you didn't pick the one that leaks oil.   Now let me tell you a very short story...

Had I listened to one of my own family members, I would have not gone to Medellin to meet my sweetie. And I would have been kicking myself in the a$$ for the rest of my life. Could I have met someone else? Sure but to throw away 3-4 months of quality communication on only a hunch is a bad gamble at best. Of course, I don't hold it against this person because they were only looking out for my best interest. But they were convincing enough for me to call into question my own decision when I knew damn well I was doing everything correctly and at the very least to the best of my ability. In the end, I didn't listen and it paid off.

Look, all I am saying is to be careful with how you word things. Telling this guy to dump this chick based on assumptions is BS. Maybe this guy worked just as hard as you did (though that doesn't seem possible ... lol) to come to the conclusion that he wanted to continue talking to this woman.

So now I ask you again ... are you prepared to payout on the emotional insurance this guy might need if he listens to only your advice ... or should I say ... commands?

Since my post, he has already stated he's going to see what happens. He knows the potential pitfalls and risks. Let us see how this plays out and maybe we can all learn something.

[z_k_g]

Euphoria,

The "hard work" was doing all the research, reading, and chatting with over 300 women (+ a few ladyboys yuck).  I educated myself on the Philippines, the culture, the history and the people.

And yes, in the end, choosing my sweetie was pretty much like picking out a used car, but isn't that the nature of the beast with online dating or agencies like Jamies? 

You end up picking and comparing profiles!  Thats what we all do!!  No shame in my game!!

Also, I AM NOT AN EXPERT!  Just wanted to get that out in the open, and I'm not professing to be right, this is strictly my OPINION!!

You are free to express yours also.

But, I think you are missing my point...CG should not waste his time with this seemingly petty bullsh*t. 

When a woman starts talking about emergencies, broken bones, food shortages, stolen or lost cell phones, past due school tuition, etc its time to take a powder. 

Total f*cking DRAMA!

I mean its really just that obvious to me what she is about, even with the very limited info CG is sharing.

And there are literally thousands of beautiful, available, honest and DRAMA FREE pinays out there.

I took no joy in giving out pink slips to those hot pinays (and they were hot Euphoria  ).  At another time in my life I would have just maintained an harem!!   

As far as emotional insurance is concerned, we are all adults here.

So....He can take my advice or leave it.  (I'm sure I don't have to tell him this!)

Its given freely!  He asked for input from P-L so I gave mine. 

But at the end of the day, he's a big boy, its his responsibility to make decisions for himself, he has to live with every decision he makes, not me!

Zulu

[euforia51]

...
But, I think you are missing my point...CG should not waste his time with this seemingly petty bullsh*t.  

When a woman starts talking about emergencies, broken bones, food shortages, stolen or lost cell phones, past due school tuition, etc its time to take a powder.
...
I took no joy in giving out pink slips to those hot pinays (and they were hot Euphoria   ).  At another time in my life I would have just maintained an harem!!  

As far as emotional insurance is concerned, we are all adults here.
...
But at the end of the day, he's a big boy, its his responsibility to make decisions for himself, he has to live with every decision he makes, not me!

Giving out pink slips? Zulu-Khan-Guccione, you're killin' me! Of course these poor Pinays were freakin' hot, you've already made us more than aware on several occasions that you have fabulous taste. LMAO

Look man, I'm not going to hijack this thread with anymore off-topic posts. CyberGlitch is a big boy and will do what he feels regardless of anyone's input and with or without emotional insurance. You and Ray and the others are all good to point out the possible pitfalls and share them with the class (for free). But you know how bullshyt gets started some times because somebody told someone else to do something and it was taken the wrong way. And then before you know it, there's a damn rugby pile on Gato (sorry buddy).  

All I'm saying is just be careful with telling someone to dump a woman; because regardless of how you do your searching, qualifying, and dishing out pink slips, we are afterall still dealing with someone's trust when they ask for advice. And with that said, I know I also don't need to remind you that ...

"the World is Watching!"

[z_k_g]

Euphoria,

If things don't work out with Glory......

Did I mention that pinays are hot?   

Zulu

[euforia51]

Did I mention that pinays are hot?   

I think you did a time or two, Zulu ... problem is ... they're not my kind of hot.

[thekfc]

I personally stayed away from all pinays from Angeles, Manila (Capitol region), Cebu, Davao and CDO.  These areas had the highest concentration of bar girls in the Philippines.  Don't get me wrong there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with these pinays in general.  But after weeding through 300+ pinays the trends were quite clear.  These populated area had the most bar girls, scammers and lady boys.  I got sick of the song and dance and modified my search strategy.

It is your right & preference about who/what you like/don't like but at the same time that is such a prejudice comment to make.

"Putting down" an entire city of people just because they are from a certain geographically area - that way of thinking is not only prejudice/bias but also childish, idiotic & uneducated,

Unless someone have physically put their feet on the ground in a particular place to experience the "on goings" there - then they are not qualified to judge/make comments about the place or the people who live in that area.

Unless you experience it/see it - then you shouldn't talk about it.

[thekfc]

Yep CG, find out exactly where in Manila does she live. Also find out what the sister she live with do (work wise) in Luzon.

Also do not bring up the return address to her just yet....try finding out a bit more info.

[z_k_g]

It is your right & preference about who/what you like/don't like but at the same time that is such a prejudice comment to make.

"Putting down" an entire city of people just because they are from a certain geographically area - that way of thinking is not only prejudice/bias but also childish, idiotic & uneducated,

Unless someone have physically put their feet on the ground in a particular place to experience the "on goings" there - then they are not qualified to judge/make comments about the place or the people who live in that area.

Unless you experience it/see it - then you shouldn't talk about it.

Kfc,

Your personal attack on me in unacceptable, but typical.

If this is how YOU want to conduct business here on P-L, lets do this, I won't allow you to call me out without a proper response.

No, I have NOT traveled to the Philippines....yet, but that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ADVICE THAT I GAVE ON THIS POST, and you know it.

Once again your favorite ARROGANT response to my posts.

You have proven to be selectively ignorant, extremely biased and arrogant.

First of all, I haven't put anyone down, if you read what I wrote, I said based on MY EXPERIENCES.  That show's your comprehension is selective, limited and you are simply ignorant of what is going on in the aforementioned cities, pretty common knowledge to anyone familiar with the Philippines and apparently you are not.

Second, YOU don't have the experience to really chastise anyone here.  I have family and friends that have lived and married pinays.   My cousin, who I was really close and spent a lot of time with, was a marine and stationed in Philippines for 10 years,  he married a pinay.

Do you have family married to any pinays?

That answer is NO dude!

From what you have written you know exactly one female pinay, your wife, and you have traveled to the Philippines twice.  

How long have you known your wife and spent time with her?  A year? Two years?

My best friends mother is Pinay.  My two cousins are married to pinays.  Another best friends who presently lives in Tokyo is in the aforementioned cities routinely and as recently as January 2011 in Manila and his gf is pinay.

I know 5 total pinays intimately as part of my family over the course of my life, I am 44.  I have spent years with them, eaten the food and lived in their houses.  In fact one of my cousins lived in Jamaica Queens, NYC with his pinay wife and her mother.  I visited frequently and stayed at his house and would spend hours talking and share good times with his mother-in-law who's father was a police chief and also fought and survived Bataan.

In your arrogance, you speak with a false authority.  

You are the one with NO experience with pinays, besides your wife, two trips, and this forum, so speak for yourself!  

My background?

I did business with MY company in SEA for over 13 years, traveled to Asia, have close Asian friends (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Cambodian, Thai and Filipino who have lived in the aforementioned cities) what have you done, when you get time off from your JOB.

I was part of the Asia Conference (companies doing business in SEA) for 8 years.  I'm not a rookie. I am no longer a member, but when I was, I routinely met with all the ambassadors in Los Angeles, including the Philippine Ambassador.

Everything I say, my opinion, is based on facts and my experiences and I am passing those experiences on to other P-L members.

And based on MY experience I stand by every word of my previous post.  Every word, because I lived it.  

-Based on my chatting with over 300 pinays, the cities mentioned in my post, have the highest percentage of bar girls, that's what I encountered
-Based on my family and friends who are married to pinays.  
-Based on my friends who visit the Philippines on a routine basis and tell me whats happening on the ground.

That's the facts bro!  You ain't gotta like what I say!  You ain't gotta respect what I say!

But....I will continue to relate my personal experiences based on the facts that I have personal knowledge.

I will TALK about whatever I like to and you should do the same!

Oh yea, and....Kfc, If YOU don't like it or don't respect it,

I don't really care.  
 
Zulu

[piglett]

Zulu ... listen to yourself dude! lmao

Are you portraying yourself to be such a great freakin' guy that you shamelessly broke 2 poor, yet stunningly beautiful, Pinays hearts to end up with the lucky winner behind door number 3? You must have been sweating buckets after doing all of that hard work. Sorry man, but you're talking as if you're shopping for a used car. And you hope you didn't pick the one that leaks oil.   Now let me tell you a very short story...

do you think it would have been best for Z to head on over & marry all 3 of them then
I'm not sure that would have worked out well for him or them in the end.
they have a saying over there "check, check, select"
I would say that was what he did.
he was looking for the best possible wife & i guess he found her
in the end i had 2 to choose from
1 had to be the winner & the other could not.



pig

[thekfc]

Kfc,

Your personal attack on me in unacceptable, but typical.

If this is how YOU want to conduct business here on P-L, lets do this, I won't allow you to call me out without a proper response.

No, I have NOT traveled to the Philippines....yet, but that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ADVICE THAT I GAVE ON THIS POST, and you know it.

Once again your favorite ARROGANT response to my posts.

You have proven to be selectively ignorant, extremely biased and arrogant.

This is NOT a personal attack on you.  -

You mentioned in your post "ALL Pinays from Angeles, Manila (Capitol region), Cebu, Davao and CDO."  Stop and think about what you posted for a minute - remember you said ALL pinays.

If a (an inexperience) reader read this then wouldn't their thoughts be? That since you stayed away from  ALL pinays from these cities?  That they should too?  Stop, think about it!!!!

Couldn't you have worded your post better?

First of all, I haven't put anyone down,

If you read carefully what I wrote "putting down" are in quotation marks - did you see that?

Second, YOU don't have the experience to really chastise anyone here.

Do you have family married to any pinays?

That answer is NO dude!

Yes,  I do have, I just never mentioned it before - Not everyone put all their personal info out there.

From what you have written you know exactly one female pinay, your wife, and you have traveled to the Philippines twice.

How long have you known your wife and spent time with her?  A year? Two years?

You are the one with NO experience with pinays, besides your wife, two trips, and this forum, so speak for yourself!

Wow!!!! Saying this without knowing my background? I never mention a lot of my background because there are personally info that I just do not put out.
But didn't I mention that my boss is a Filipina and I went to school, hand out & worked (20+ years) with a few before?
You created a post and I saw that some readers will view it as otherwise. So I responded to that post.
That was NOT a personal attack on you - if I wanted to I would have gone a different route.

Remember whether we are giving advice or not, thousands of readers do read our post - not only members but guest to the site. Some may take what we wrote to heart and some may dismiss it , some will take it with a grain of salt & some don't - it is human nature.

There are tons & tons of valuable info in here as well as "worthless" info and a lot of people do go by what we wrote, that advice/info can & have been be very beneficial to many or it can/have be disastrous to a few - not everyone can "dissect" a post.

The point is our posts do affect other people's life and instead of just "rushing" to put out info out there - we should first "analyze" what we are about to write & then post.

And anyone can see, many of my post are informative post.  I created threads such as "giving gifts", "free text messages", as well as posts such as VS, Shopping, Visa, etc,. I have even given you info on building materials, stores, etc,.
Members contribute to these threads/post and they make corrections where the corrections are needed AND those corrections are noted.

There are also many threads that I do stay away from....... why?  because I have nothing positive to contribute

[thekfc]

Anyone can say that they have experience with the Philippines/Filipinas.  They can say that their family members are married to so & so or that they dated so & so. There is no way to prove it....... until they show proof.

This is the internet & anyone can lie about anything....take a look at the SFNM thread.

Of the "recent" members (not counting the "old heads"), these are only members who have shown that they have some "experience" with the Philippines/Filipinas - Piggy, Jaystone, CBear, Heruamen & myself (I may have missed a few - I apologize if I did). These are the members who have posted pictures (proof) in their trip report (s) to backing up their posts thus showing that they have some "experience" with the Philippines.

Without the "proof" to back up what one has posted, then............

Now let us not turn this thread the other way.....let us wait on CG post.

[euforia51]

do you think it would have been best for Z to head on over & marry all 3 of them then
...
1 had to be the winner & the other couldn't not

Sorry pigman ... but you entirely missed the content of my post. I wasn't questioning the selection process and his narrowing of choices to one woman (all of whom were super hot, by the way). I was more or less knocking (in jest, mind you) his presentation of being a Don Juan who's running around the countryside breaking the hearts of beautiful women in his quest to finally (thank god) end up with his one and only.

I'm straight with Zulu so no need to come to his defense. It's just one of those selfish, off-topic reality check snowball fights to have a little fun.  

[piglett]

I was more or less knocking (in jest, mind you) his presentation of being a Don Juan who's running around the countryside breaking the hearts of beautiful women in his quest to

"If your going to make an omelet, your going to have to break a few eggs" (Joseph Stalin)




P

[z_k_g]

Sorry pigman ... but you entirely missed the content of my post. I wasn't questioning the selection process and his narrowing of choices to one woman (all of whom were super hot, by the way). I was more or less knocking (in jest, mind you) his presentation of being a Don Juan who's running around the countryside breaking the hearts of beautiful women in his quest to finally (thank god) end up with his one and only.

I'm straight with Zulu so no need to come to his defense. It's just one of those selfish, off-topic reality check snowball fights to have a little fun.  

Euforia,

I got your pokin fun at me! 

But the thing is when you chat with most pinays for more than 10 minutes they want to claim you for their own.

You chat with a pinay for over a week and some will say that they are in love and I think they really mean it! 

So no matter how careful you are, feelings will get hurt and tears will flow.

I'm not proud of that, I don't like  hurting people, but after reading the archives here and posts about having a back up plan, I decided I would only focus on one pinay, so I had to make those hard decisions.

Harems should be legalized!   

Zulu

[euforia51]

Harems should be legalized!   

Zulu ... I know that you were getting my points ... it was piggy who was calling me out; so I was just a-splainin' to him.

I know you're sitting pretty over there with your super hot Pinay and all. But in light of your comment (above), I reciprocate your offer to jump ship, get some Spanish on, and come have your harem like our two resident playboys over here in the Latin forum. And no offense to these two gentlemen...