Already in it deep

[ignorante]

Had a few ladyboys also, but I learned to weed them out quickly- I always asked up front, are you a ladyboy?  Were you born with a penis?

  This is disturbing.  Why are they on these sites?  Even if you don't figure it out online, when showing up in person it is bound to become apparent at some point.  Or is it just all about making a living scamming for money??

[z_k_g]

CG,

She sounds ok, for now.

Just be fair with her, we are in the over react mode here when newbies first come on board.  This is the critical time when you can get majorly fu*ked.

Don't mind us, and Ray is harmless (Until he gets his trusty S&W loaded and cocked) and he is completely out for your best interest (and everyone else here)

We just want you to keep those antenna up and tuned.

Trust but verify!

Zulu

[CyberGlitch]

I've got a very good BS radar. I do IT for a living so I know all about just about any type of scam that's out there on the web. I also question just about anything that crosses my desk. Believe me, I've googled her name, usernames, e-mails and everything turned up clean. Found her FaceBook page though, seems innocent. She was shocked as hell when I sent the friend request though. 

You are absolutely correct. Trust but verify.

[z_k_g]

  This is distrubing.  Why are they on these sites?  Even if you don't figure it out online, when showing up in person it is bound to become apparent at some point.  Or is it just all about making a living scamming for money??

Iggy,

I'll be totally honest.  I'm homophobic, I don't like men who take c*cks up the sh*tter and in the mouth. 

That's just me, call me an as*hole, I'll take that as a compliment.

I was highly insulted when I found out the cute and sexy "pinay" I had been chatting with for hours was a "pinoy" with six inches hanging with hairy balls like me!

Pissed me off!

I started doing my nut sack check during the first few minutes of any conversation.  I pissed off quite a few pinays, but it had to be done.

Zulu

[CyberGlitch]

Had to be done.

[Researcher]

Researcher,

What was your most memorable scammer experience? 

Just curious.

Mine were all pretty much the same, the cell phone broken, missing, lost, borrowed not returned, got wet.....etc, etc, or  my favorite, I am running out of time at the Internet cafe!  Need money to stay online to talk to ONLY you!!

Had a few ladyboys also, but I learned to weed them out quickly- I always asked up front, are you a ladyboy?  Were you born with a penis?   

Sounds harsh, but damn effective.

Zulu

               I was online romancing this one woman who seemed to have alot of bad luck. She showed up once on webcam with her arm in a sling and had what looked like a cast. She said she was crossing the street when this car swerved over toward her. This guy was hanging out the window and grabbed her purse. When they did, the car got too close and knocked her down on the street breaking her arm badly. Now remember that this woman had already  told me the small time lies so I was already on to her at this point.

             Of course she needed alot of money to pay her medical bills and so forth. She never came out and asked me directly so I never offered to send her anything. The sling and cast was gone 5 days later. Fastest recovery I had ever seen!!

       Researcher  

[z_k_g]

Iggy,

Oh...

And why did they pursue men who were specifically looking for females?

Beats me dude.

I can only guess that some were scammers, like in Bills case, some were confused fu*kers who really thought they were freaking females trapped in a mans body and some were just homos cruising for some hard foreign c*ck.

I really didn't spend the time to find out why these wack jobs were on the female side.  Once I got the goods on these fakes, I just politely told them that I was not a homosexual and ended the encounter quickly!!

I actually had one homo that suggested we become friends!!  

I almost lost it!  

Zulu

[z_k_g]

              I was online romancing this one woman who seemed to have alot of bad luck. She showed up once on webcam with her arm in a sling and had what looked like a cast. She said she was crossing the street when this car swerved over toward her. This guy was hanging out the window and grabbed her purse. When they did, the car got too close and knocked her down on the street breaking her arm badly. Now remember that this woman had already  told me the small time lies so I was already on to her at this point.

             Of course she needed alot of money to pay her medical bills and so forth. She never came out and asked me directly so I never offered to send her anything. The sling and cast was gone 5 days later. Fastest recovery I had ever seen!!  

Researcher,

Amazing!

Zulu

[Bob_S]

You started getting on dating sites and chatting up girls knowing that it will be at least a year before you can visit any of them? Why not wait until you're at least a little bit closer than that? You're building some huge expectations and/or she's going to get tired of waiting....is it that hard to wait a few months before jumping into the pool?

No hurry.  Some guys are just lonely and want a chat pal for a while to lay the ground work before going even if they won't be ready for a long time.  Zulu's been chatting with his current girl for, what, 2 or 3 years now?  And is just now buying his ticket to go visit?  Having to wait I think forces you to go slow and cautious.

  This is disturbing.  Why are they on these sites?  Even if you don't figure it out online, when showing up in person it is bound to become apparent at some point.  Or is it just all about making a living scamming for money??

Some are scamming for the money, getting money from lonely guys who don't know the difference.  Some are probably just looking for love in all the wrong places.  Dave H. has some stories about the ladyboys he knows working the system.

[Researcher]

      Yeah Zulu, after internationally dating for a while I became quite jaded I guess.I never had a ladyboy experience so I missed the crying game, thank goodness. But after a while I had developed a sense for the scams. I would hear a story and my mind would wander to all the possibilities of what the truth really was.

     There was once when a woman told me that her brother owed money to some people that were going to hurt him if he didn't pay up. Then the regular stories of needing money for school or whatever. There were always women offering to do whatever I wanted them to on webcam if I sent them money.

    Once I was in Manila with a girlfriend. We were in an internet cafe and I was checking my email. Across from us a young woman started crying. My girl went to see what was the problem. Turns out she was sent a message that her fiance was killed in a car accident in the US. For a moment I pictured some guy that didn't have the nads  to breakup with her so he faked this story to end it. That's when I realized how jaded I had became. My mind automatically went there.I came back in the moment and realized the real story wasn't that important because it was real for this girl. My girl and I stayed with her until her sister showed up. I guess if you stay in the game long enough some things get ingrained.


     Researcher

[jm21-2]

  This is disturbing.  Why are they on these sites?  Even if you don't figure it out online, when showing up in person it is bound to become apparent at some point.  Or is it just all about making a living scamming for money??

Maybe they are practicing their wiles in a safe environment...maybe an online relationship is all they think they can get...who knows? I kind of doubt all are just there to scam guys.

With my first Chinese girlfriend, after we met, she said her phone broke. I offered to send her a secondhand one (cheap on craigslist) but she refused. Finally I just said screw it and sent her some money to see what she'd do. Suddenly her phone wasn't broken. I suppose that's a scam....had never asked me for money before we met. A relatively inexpensive way to know to end the relationship though...

[ignorante]

I offered to send her a secondhand one (cheap on craigslist) but she refused. Finally I just said screw it and sent her some money to see what she'd do. Suddenly her phone wasn't broken. I suppose that's a scam....

  You offered, she refused, you sent money anyway, and then she got her phone fixed, and that is a scam?

 

[z_k_g]

  You offered, she refused, you sent money anyway, and then she got her phone fixed, and that is a scam?

 

Iggy,

Jm lost me 2 on that one also, come again?

Zulu

[z_k_g]

No hurry.  Some guys are just lonely and want a chat pal for a while to lay the ground work before going even if they won't be ready for a long time.  Zulu's been chatting with his current girl for, what, 2 or 3 years now?  And is just now buying his ticket to go visit?  Having to wait I think forces you to go slow and cautious.
Some are scamming for the money, getting money from lonely guys who don't know the difference.  Some are probably just looking for love in all the wrong places.  Dave H. has some stories about the ladyboys he knows working the system.

Bob,

1 year and 1 month since we met.

I was chatting with 2 others also briefly during that period, but made my final choice in May 2010.   So effectively 7 to 8 months.

I will be in PI to visit her next month.

Zulu

[jm21-2]

  You offered, she refused, you sent money anyway, and then she got her phone fixed, and that is a scam?

 

Her phone was never broken. I had a suspicion her phone wasn't broken and she just wanted some money out of me to impress her family or whatever (seemed to be a big deal to her when I was visiting) so I offered to send her a phone (as opposed to cash). She didn't have any interest in me sending her a phone, even a really nice one, because her phone was pretty nice and wasn't broken. She insisted on me sending cash. I sent her some money to see if my suspicions were true and they were confirmed. We talked and she fairly bragged about getting me to send her money and she had went on a shopping spree with it. Whether you call it a scam or not is up to you. Certainly wasn't the kind of behavior I wanted in a wife which is what mattered to me.

[ignorante]

We talked and she fairly bragged about getting me to send her money and she had went on a shopping spree with it.

     That's a little different than what you wrote!

[z_k_g]

Her phone was never broken. I had a suspicion her phone wasn't broken and she just wanted some money out of me to impress her family or whatever (seemed to be a big deal to her when I was visiting) so I offered to send her a phone (as opposed to cash). She didn't have any interest in me sending her a phone, even a really nice one, because her phone was pretty nice and wasn't broken. She insisted on me sending cash. I sent her some money to see if my suspicions were true and they were confirmed. We talked and she fairly bragged about getting me to send her money and she had went on a shopping spree with it. Whether you call it a scam or not is up to you. Certainly wasn't the kind of behavior I wanted in a wife which is what mattered to me.

JM,

I gotcha, I'm clear now, Scammer! 

Zulu

[jm21-2]

Anyways...it was worth the money (not an insignificant amount) as a final test her character, imho. Gave a lot of closure to that relationship very fast.

This is a girl I had talked with for many months before meeting (maybe 7 months) and she had never even hinted at needing money. She had a good job and a couple of her family members were actually fairly rich by Chinese standards. When I was in China her family members treated me extremely well, hosted me at their hosues, and never asked for anything.

BUT,

1. When I got to China there was a ton of pressure and an assumption by her family that we were going to get married. Her older sister and brother-in-law insisted I take a very special gift that was intended for the husband of their younger sister (fortunately we knew things were not going so well at the end of my trip and we left this gift there). This was a 9-day trip and way too much for me.

2. She also had a habit of wanting me to lavish money/gifts on her/her family to impress people. I'm relatively cheap and this drove me nuts, and ultimately culminated in the afore-mentioned cell phone incident. I had absolutely no idea she would be like that in person. She was actually a pretty frugal person (insisted we take buses to save money, paid for part of her school by running her own business in college, etc) but she wanted a boyfriend who spent some fairly serious money on her. She jsut assumed it was normal for a western guy to buy his girlfriend lots of stuff.

SO,

Think very carefully before having a long online courtship. It can end up being a very bad thing. A lot of time invested and the person turns out to be very different once you're there in person, and especially once you are officially dating. Then it becomes much more difficult to end things and start over. You will try to make excuses for her and try to make things work because you just spent 6-12+ months of your life talking to this girl for a couple hours a day.

We talked a bit several months after breaking up and she was pretty sad about it. She had a new boyfriend she wasn't really into, but he gave her some gold jewelry now and then so she was OK with it.

[z_k_g]

We talked a bit several months after breaking up and she was pretty sad about it. She had a new boyfriend she wasn't really into, but he gave her some gold jewelry now and then so she was OK with it.

Jm,

Diamonds are a girls best friend, but Gold ain't so bad either ( A Thai thing)

Zulu

[Jedironin]

This is a girl I had talked with for many months before meeting (maybe 7 months)...

And, let's see... Bill was involved with "Cris" for about 7 months. Zulu- how long have you been online with her, you said? 

Be Safe, and Be Careful, is all I'm sayin'.    It almost looks like a "trend" developing here...

[Bob_S]

1 year and 1 month since we met.

Only that long?   Dang.  I thought you've been posting her photo longer than that.
I was just a penpal with my wife for about a year before we met in person.  Even then, since I was moving to the opposite end of Japan from where she lived, I kept my options open.  But 6 months into long distance dating (holiday weekends when we could both get time off), I realized she was a keeper and the best match for me.  And 2 to 3 months after that before I asked her to marry me.  I don't know if folks consider that fast or not, but from my experience, I can't fault anyone for taking it slow, even if it means a year as e-mail friends.  Just last night, she pulled out a mini photo album of pictures and postcards I had sent her through 2001-2002 ending with about the time we became engaged because the album was full by then.

[Jeff S]

Is it already 10 years Bob? Damn, it doesn't seem like it to me.

[z_k_g]

And, let's see... Bill was involved with "Cris" for about 7 months. Zulu- how long have you been online with her, you said?  

Be Safe, and Be Careful, is all I'm sayin'.    It almost looks like a "trend" developing here...

Jedi,

In my opinion, 6 to 12 months is the ideal time from initial meeting to visit.

Others (Ray) with vastly more experience the myself in the Philippines, consider this too long of a period and suggest a shorter time between initial introduction and a first visit, 2 to 3 months (I think is their preferred time)

Porky Piglet made one trip and got married.  Kfc, I think took 2 trips and got hitched.  Rob took over 18 months, and actually switched his final choice.  Everyone has their own pace and sensibilities about this process.

Simply looking at a 7 month time frame does not tell the entire story.  I have some experience with foreign women (Vietnam, Taiwan, Korea) having dated them before so this ain't my first rodeo (but first time in Philippines), still I'm far from an expert, that's why I joined P-L.

Ray, Jeff, Bob and W3 are the gurus and I have learned 90% of what I know about the full process, the pitfalls and the do's and don't from their posts.

As far as getting "scammed" is concerned, that's not an overriding fear to be honest, I mean its possible, but when you do your homework (read the archives) and take your time selecting your sweetie, you minimize that risk and decrease the possibilities of total failure.

The best part about the adventure is that when you arrive, if she is covered in red flags, you are in the babe capitol of Southeast Asia!!  

Walk out of your hotel lobby and enjoy the candy store!

You can't really beat that!

Zulu

[Woody]

In my opinion, 6 to 12 months is the ideal time from initial meeting to visit.

I started looking the the Philippines when I knew I was five months out from my trip. I figured it would take me a month or so to sift through and find someone that I could connect with. That expected 4-6 weeks turned into a few days. Go figure.

The key thing, from my perspective. Don't start talking unless you actually intend on making the trip at one point.

The best part about the adventure is that when you arrive, if she is covered in red flags, you are in the babe capitol of Southeast Asia!!  
Walk out of your hotel lobby and enjoy the candy store!

There certainly is that. This trip is about meeting her, but if we meet and there is just no chemistry, I can still have a wonderful vacation.

[Bob_S]

Is it already 10 years Bob? Damn, it doesn't seem like it to me.

Yeah, it was early in 2001 that I dumped my Russian ex and turned my focus to Japan.  Sometime that year you and I met up at Kappo Honda for dinner.  Or was it House of Brews.  That Fall I started taking language classes at Goldenwest, and in 2002 I headed over to Japan to teach English.  Despite the tempting distractions of being surrounded by so many cute sweet girls who all wanted a foreign boyfriend (you are so right, Zulu), I stuck with my "friend" who was slowly become more than a friend, and in 2003 got married.  This June is our 8th anniversary.