Dancing

[V_Man]

Guys, reading through some of these topics I just wanted to raise the issue of dancing. If you have not tried it I want to encourage you to give it a go before you get to Colombia. Don't worry if you have 2 left feet. Take some lessons. You will be surprised how much you can learn if you just push yourself a little outside your comfort zone.

Perhaps my experience will help you.

I almost never danced. If I ever did it was to rock which has such a powerful beat you really have to be super uptight not to be able to make some kind of movement to.

Then I became friends with a Colombiana. In case you are not aware of it. Colombianas all learn to dance soon after learning to walk and they have danced often ever since they were 2.
Back to mi amiga. She introduced me to her friends. All the girls in this group are not only Colombianas but they are semi professional dancers. The guys were in the band. The way I was introduced to them was at a huge party of several hundred Colombians where this group was performing. Although the entire place was full of dancing Colombians, being a gringo hanging out with the band and the dancers does not exactly make you invisible. Within 30 mins I had 5 of these girls, 15 years younger than me, taking their picture with me and then simply expecting me to dance the night with them. Holy crap!
Trust me you do not want to have to learn how to dance under this sort of pressure. It sure freaked me out.
What will save you in this situation is simply being a gringo. Colombians wont expect much from you. However they sure will expect you to try. Attempting to say no, you do not dance, you are too tired, or anything short of being in a wheel chair will not be accepted. Trust me I tired everything I could think of.
So I learnt the basic salsa step with some total babes, the hard way with several hundred Colombians trying to pretend they were not watching to see if the gringo would make a complete fool of himself. 

I play a lot of sport so thankfully I do have co-ordination. Plus these girls being such awesome dancers themselves were able to break it down and teach me one step at a time. So I survived. But that is about all it was.
Phew. Dodged that bullet!!

At this party I got talking to a young Colombian guy. He told me he can't dance. I told him neither can I. He said that is OK because I am a gringo but for him as a Colombian it is a social disaster. It’s like being nerd number one. He said he misses out any chance of even a date with the big majority of girls.

Guess what? Next month there was another big party and another performance. I stuck to the side of the room as much as I could. This time I knew there was no point in thinking I would be allowed to get away without dancing. I just tried to keep it to a minimum.
Now hanging out with these Colombians is awesome fun. Not to mention how cute the girls are. Plus not many people network like Colombians do naturally. Perhaps it was because I was with the “in crowd” but I keep being introduced to more people. For me this is a good thing.
So I says to myself. Either I am going to keep feeling like a nerd or I have to try to learn how to dance.
So I go along to a lesson away from the party crowd. A proper lesson. I am still thinking, they are going to have to be ultra patient to teach me anything. I am full of apprehension. I am still thinking hanging at the back of the room is not the end of the world.  I am still feeling completely hopeless as a dancer.
I only have 2 things going for me. 1. I do have co-ordination thanks to my sports. 2. I often push myself outside my comfort zone.
So anyway the lesson starts. I can’t believe it but half way through the lesson I am not only moving but I am actually enjoying myself and having fun. 
Months later I am still learning. It is like playing an instrument you never stop learning if you want to keep going. Even now I have some apprehension but once I start dancing I relax and feel that enjoyment of dancing. I never thought I’d say this but not only can I dance but I actually enjoy dancing.
I tell you what. Not too many fat, lazy, boring, ugly, married women come to dance classes if you get my drift.
Now you do get points for being a gringo. But you get A LOT more points for being a gringo who can dance. Even if you can only dance a little.
Try it. Like me you may amaze yourself and find out you actually enjoy it.

[Researcher]

   

  Hey V_man from my experience compared to Colombians most gringos can't dance.The best we can hope for is to reach a level of competency so as not to look too goofy doing it.But anyway, Being a gringo, that was my" in" with the Colombianas. Getting them to teach me Spanish and how to dance was a great way to spend time with them.They are always eager to teach! When it comes to dancing Latinas are wwwaaayyyy ahead of AW's.Latinas can move in ways that AW's can only hope for.

     Researcher

[CalifSur]

I have picked up Salsa dancing (and a bit of Cumbia) here in SoCalif. over the last year or so. If this gringo can pick it up, anyone can! 

Here's a question with a somewhat long lead in:

I have NOT been to Colombia YET but from what I have read the Salsa dancing is QUITE different in Colombia than it is in the USA (or Canada, etc.).  I have been reading that in the typical Salsa club in Colombia you will actually see VERY LITTLE in the way of TURNS or CROSS-BODY leads that are so common place in North American clubs.  And that the only time you really see turns or cross-body leads in Colombia is in actual SALSA COMPETITIONS.

So I am little unsure of what to expect. I thought I'd have a leg up having picked up some steps but now I am not so sure.  I hear if you try to "turn" a colombiana while dancing salsa with her she may look at you kind of funny.

Any guys (or gals) that have been to Colombia have any input on this....??

[pchip]

I have picked up Salsa dancing (and a bit of Cumbia) here in SoCalif. over the last year or so. If this gringo can pick it up, anyone can! 

Here's a question with a somewhat long lead in:

I have NOT been to Colombia YET but from what I have read the Salsa dancing is QUITE different in Colombia than it is in the USA (or Canada, etc.).  I have been reading that in the typical Salsa club in Colombia you will actually see VERY LITTLE in the way of TURNS or CROSS-BODY leads that are so common place in North American clubs.  And that the only time you really see turns or cross-body leads in Colombia is in actual SALSA COMPETITIONS.

So I am little unsure of what to expect. I thought I'd have a leg up having picked up some steps but now I am not so sure.  I hear if you try to "turn" a colombiana while dancing salsa with her she may look at you kind of funny.

Any guys (or gals) that have been to Colombia have any input on this....??

Hey, in Salsa, you're the lead.  If she looks at you funny when you do a cross body lead, make her do a copa, jeje    

[vallenatoman]

V_MAN v better not stand for VALLENATO or im going to SUE you for COPYRIGHT VIOLATION!

Just kidding

Anyway, i had a similar experience. I met some colombians in college and they all danced til 5am on weekends at the "LAtin Party" that was hosted one or two days every month. they all looked professional. Of course being  the token gringo in their little group the girls all tried to dance with me and teach me. I wish i had been more serious about learning back then (sadly i was more focused on my studies). But i did learn some merrengue and alittle salsa. I doubt id look very good now its been years since i have used it.

I was thinking of taking some classes again before i go to colombia. Luckily i speak spanish at an average level. I couldnt hold any deep conversations well but i can converse.

But dancing is its own language for colombians. But as we know....the guys use it more to impress the ladies because you are really close and touching alot when you dance its how the guys get "past first base" even if you dont know a girl...usually a colombian girl will dance with you close.


Its probably the ONE aspect a gringo can be 1uped by the colombian guys pretty easily in colombia.

I always found dancing fun even when i was medicore. if i had a serious colombian lady id def enjoy going dancing more...

Asking random ladies all night to dance in a real latin dance club is a kind of thing you probably cant do unless you are a "ladies man" for lack of a better word right now... you arent going to dance with evry girl if you cant dance well. youll just look silly. and the HONEST fact is my friends did talk about the "silly" gringos who couldnt dance and just asked to get them on the floor...
to grope and such. They dont like that either and when a guy is up their just wigglyng his buttt willy nilly they arent dumb... they know whats up.

so yea i think a guy should try to learn to dance a little. if you can dance amerrengue i think its a start... salsa is harder.

[whitey]

Being able to dance is definitely an advantage in Colombia ... my wife has a look of sheer joy on her face when she's dancing.  

We used to go out and dance a few songs together occasionally, and I enjoyed it and thought I was doing ok for someone who's last time on the dance floor was probably slam-dancing to Joy Division in the 90's.  

But then I made the mistake of taking a few salsa classes and quitting at home here in Canada.  I took just enough classes to realize that I had no clue what I was doing, that I was terrible, and that there was much more to learn than I realized ... which is pretty much true of anything new when you think of it.

But the problem for me now is that I am much more self-conscious, and don't like to dance at all ... even though I know it will be great fun.  I just want to reach the point of being semi-competent, where I can dance well enough to enjoy myself and not feel like everyone is looking at the left-footed gringo.

I don't like dancing with other women at this point, so will just wait until Nazly is here in Canada and we'll take salsa classes together.

I have NOT been to Colombia YET but from what I have read the Salsa dancing is QUITE different in Colombia than it is in the USA (or Canada, etc.).  I have been reading that in the typical Salsa club in Colombia you will actually see VERY LITTLE in the way of TURNS or CROSS-BODY leads that are so common place in North American clubs.  And that the only time you really see turns or cross-body leads in Colombia is in actual SALSA COMPETITIONS.

So I am little unsure of what to expect. I thought I'd have a leg up having picked up some steps but now I am not so sure.  I hear if you try to "turn" a colombiana while dancing salsa with her she may look at you kind of funny.

Any guys (or gals) that have been to Colombia have any input on this....??

I'm no expert and hopefully someone else can answer this better than I, but it's my understanding that Cali is the salsa capital of Colombia.  It's faster, with more foot movement and turns than on the coast.  My limited experience on the coast is that the women usually don't like the turns ... they complain it makes them dizzy.

[euforia51]

I hear if you try to "turn" a colombiana while dancing salsa with her she may look at you kind of funny.

Any guys (or gals) that have been to Colombia have any input on this....??

When I was in Medellin over Christmas hanging out with Glory's family, there was always music playing and there was almost always at least a little dancing going on. I have some rhythm but my steps aren't very good. But she didn't care. Maybe like V_Man says, being a gringo gives you carte blanche, maybe just trying to dance gives you more.  I was able to twirl, or turn, Glory several times. I did it half way joking to keep it fun and she seemed to love it. But I will say, I did not see the rest of her family doing this. And they seemed to be pretty good dancers.

For our New Years Eve party, I don't know how many times her cousins would jump in and show me some basic steps. I was obvious doing some wrong and they were very eager to help. The steps were small and relatively simple. It's putting them all together is where it seems to get complicated. But all in all, I found if you make a good showing, put forth a decent effort, and just go with it and have fun, it's really no big deal.

[Colgando]

I don't like dancing with other women at this point, so will just wait until Nazly is here in Canada and we'll take salsa classes together.

Sounds like a lot of fun   

[Kiltboy1]

Drink More Whiskey
You will have more rhythm, she will not be able to see your bad moves and you both move like dancing with the stars in the bedroom . My plan always

KB

[vallenatoman]

Actuallly drink AGUARDIENTE

[pchip]

But then I made the mistake of taking a few salsa classes and quitting at home here in Canada.  I took just enough classes to realize that I had no clue what I was doing, that I was terrible, and that there was much more to learn than I realized ... which is pretty much true of anything new when you think of it.

But the problem for me now is that I am much more self-conscious, and don't like to dance at all ... even though I know it will be great fun.  I just want to reach the point of being semi-competent, where I can dance well enough to enjoy myself and not feel like everyone is looking at the left-footed gringo.

Whitey

Feeling self conscious comes with the territory, go past it.  If you've been able to find your gem of a woman over there, salsa's a given. Also if you want to do any real progress, it is best to try with several other partners, so I would suggest starting now and not waiting for your novia to come in.  The ladies learning curve is much smaller...

[pchip]

Asking random ladies all night to dance in a real latin dance club is a kind of thing you probably cant do unless you are a "ladies man" for lack of a better word right now... you arent going to dance with evry girl if you cant dance well. youll just look silly. and the HONEST fact is my friends did talk about the "silly" gringos who couldnt dance and just asked to get them on the floor...
to grope and such. They dont like that either and when a guy is up their just wigglyng his buttt willy nilly they arent dumb... they know whats up.

Vallenatoman

I'm definitely not a "ladies men", but once you get past the self conscious part of things you can pretty much ask random ladies to dance all night.  Just expect a lot of rejects and at the same time don't grope those that do come and dance a little.

[Kiltboy1]

Actuallly drink AGUARDIENTE

Man

I could never stomach that rock gut stuff. Ron Medellin yes, but Aguardente is too sweet for me. The biggest complaint I always heard from latinas is that AM were very boring, scared to try new things, come out of there comfort zone. A latina does not care if you cannot dance because to Latinas, all gringos cannot dance, so not to worry. All she cares about is that you will try with her.

KB

[CeeTeeEnn]

Here are my two guineas...

Soon after discovering the Colombian scene here I was exposed to the dancing. I had never been brought up to dance; I was brought up to believe that white middle-class guys (especially those into rock) are expected not to bopp around with girls just to get into their pants (after all we are way too sophisticated and cool to resort to such tactics, right? ) And so, I developed an appreciation for Latin music easily enough and not for the dancing which seemed always to accompany it. But, after having been pestered into dancing by the many Colombianas I met on the Salsa scene, I decided I might be better off joining in and at least learning some moves - after all, as far as national customs go it's not especially difficult or gross-looking, and it might just get me some new numbers. Soon enough i became proficient in mainstream salsa and merengue dancing. I stress that I never enjoyed it for its own sake, but my efforts here, together with my basic Spanish, ensured that numbers began to roll in.

And it's then I began to notice something curious. I was meeting two different types of Latina. The first was, at face value, delighted to meet a real blonde gringo who could dance. However, this interest proved superficial. Such girls wouldn't hesitate to invite me to Latin-only parties as a curiosity, or call me up asking me for my advice about matters concerned with living here, or for my help and/or money. But almost as soon as I introduced them to my British friends, or tried to encourage them to learn English or appreciate British and gringo culture (Western music and TV for starters), or move away from the Barrio in the centre of town to better housing in the suburbs, or study for a career etc. - their interest faded. I also noticed, much to my bemusement, that many such Colombianas were actively making choices as to which guys they were dating according to their dancing prowess, almost as if they were judging a dancing competition, and so much so that other nominally desireable male characteristics were overlooked.

However, I was also meeting, on rarer occasions, a differet type of Colombiana - one who didn't care for any dancing ailities (a few even professing to not knowing how!) and who would do her best to speak with me in English without regards to my Spanish efforts, and who seemed genuinely interested in absorbing the best of UK culture. I'll leave the reader to figure out which of these two types of Colombiana i ended up getting on with best. I will add however that over the years i also met several interesting non-Colombian Latinas who were likewise little interested or impressed by any dancing prowess (or antics?) I may have learned.

I have concluded that my efforts to dance just for the sake of impressing Latinas were ultimately a waste of time. It's not in my nature, the quality of the doors it was opening for me were at best dubious, and any woman genuinely interested in me will understand and accept my unwillingness to dance. I haven't danced for years now, and cannot see why a gringo should learn to dance if he doesn't really want to just to gain female attention and kudos. If it genuinely interest him, then by all means go ahead. But if not, he should comfort himself from the fact that there are many Latin societies other than Colombia where dancing is not necessarily de rigeur, despite this forum's near-obsession with Colombia, and that Latinas of all nationalities who are genuinely interested in meeting us gringos will be the ones who accept and appreciate us for being whom were already are, and not for being wannabees.

[whitey]

I have concluded that my efforts to dance just for the sake of impressing Latinas were ultimately a waste of time. It's not in my nature, the quality of the doors it was opening for me were at best dubious, and any woman genuinely interested in me will understand and accept my unwillingness to dance. I haven't danced for years now, and cannot see why a gringo should learn to dance if he doesn't really want to just to gain female attention and kudos. If it genuinely interest him, then by all means go ahead. But if not, he should comfort himself from the fact that there are many Latin societies other than Colombia where dancing is not necessarily de rigeur, despite this forum's near-obsession with Colombia, and that Latinas of all nationalities who are genuinely interested in meeting us gringos will be the ones who accept and appreciate us for being whom were already are, and not for being wannabees.

Interesting story CeeTeeEnn ... thanks for taking the time to write it.

I've somehow managed to stalk the wild latina in her natural habitat, knock her over the head, and am in the process of dragging her back to my cave (as soon as the visa is approved) ... without the benefit of knowing how to dance ... although I do make embarrassing attempts from time to time.

I look at dancing the same way as learning Spanish, trying to understand my wife's culture, trying new foods, visiting new places, etc. ... while it's not absolutely essential to having a relationship with a latin woman, it can only help and isn't much to ask, especially if she really likes to dance.  It sounds like you've done that and are able to dance well enough to satisfy any latina you became interested in.

By the way, I also expect my wife to learn English, try new foods, go to a hockey game, etc ... the blade cuts both ways.

I too don't enjoy dancing, but it's probably just a combination of my incompetence, my repressed anglo nature, and the fact that dancing wasn't cool when I was growing up either (despite ... or maybe because of growing up during the disco era ... AC/DC and Van Halen were more my style).

But ... I'm going to make an attempt to push through this and see if I can reach a point where I can enjoy dancing. Because sometimes with just the right combination of alcohol, good music, and a beautiful happy woman in my arms ... I can glimpse for a few fleeting moments the joy of letting go the inhibitions and losing oneself in dance ...

[utopiacowboy]

I don't understand some of these posts. Why would you marry a Colombiana if you weren't interested in the culture, the language, the music? When we are in the club dancing, listening to the music, speaking Spanish, I often think that people without this window into another world are missing out on so much. I wouldn't mind having a dozen wives, each of them from a different world culture.

[Kiltboy1]

I don't understand some of these posts. Why would you marry a Colombiana if you weren't interested in the culture, the language, the music? When we are in the club dancing, listening to the music, speaking Spanish, I often think that people without this window into another world are missing out on so much. I wouldn't mind having a dozen wives, each of them from a different world culture.

Now we talking

KB

[CeeTeeEnn]

UC, I cannot speak for others here but I myself am not interested in marrying a Colombiana! I am interested in aspects of Latin culture and get on well with some types of Latinas, but I am not obsessed with the idea of meeting a significant other specifically in Colombia, and would never limit myself in this way.

Dancing is one aspect of Latin culture (or rather certain Latin cultures) that leaves me cold, as indeed does some of the food. But the music, the Spanish language and literature, plus the European Colonial and Christian heritage of LA certainly do not. I pick and choose which aspects of Latin culture I enjoy most and leave out those which I don't and choose my company according to my lifestyle and preferences, maintaining that there's no point trying to be someone who you are not just for the sake of pleasing others, women or men.

I wish Whitey and everyone all the best in learning to dance in order to make their partners happy. All I can say is that I tried it, didn't like it, found it got me nowhere and have since moved on, satisfied in the knowledge that the Latinas who are uber-keen on dancing generally don't have much in common with me in the first place and thus aren't worth going out of the way to please. I have also discovered that there are Latinas out there who don't give a stuff about dancing (some of whom may even be partial to some AC//DC or Van Halen) and so I consider refusing to dance as not being a social faux pas or hindrance for me.

As far as having more than one wife goes... well, i'll leave that thought for others to contemplate. I'm only interested in meeting one and i'm sure she'll be more than enough for me to deal with. Moreover, there are some global cultures that interest me but also many which don't. Latin American culture interests me (up to a point, of course) but so do other Euro-centric cultures, and I would be perfectly happy to choose a partner from a non-Latin nationality if we are otherwise mutually compatible.

[Kiltboy1]

CMan

I found the same as you and geographically, the father you go east in Latin America, the more likely you find EURO influences that do not really care about salsa, merengue, ect, IE, Ecuador, Peru, Chile, Argentina. They like rock and techno and less African influenced music that Colombian and the islands tend to like.

[utopiacowboy]

You make some good points in that last post, CeeTeeEnn. Even in Colombia, there are guys who pass on the dancing. My wife's first husband was one of those guys.

[whitey]

Hmmm ... maybe I'll put on some AC/DC and see if the wifey can keep up with me ...

[CeeTeeEnn]

I wrote this post to address some seemingly trivial but nonetheless important points...

Yes KB, I too have noticed that the Andean and Southern Cone countries have a stronger sense of European cultural identity than the Colombians (although in the case of the Andean countries, this is largely confined to the cities.) And it's perhaps no co-incidence that I have tended to get on better with these Latinos/as than with Colombians. I would also add Mexico to this list; I have not met many Mexicans but the ones I have met here in London have largely been quite well educated and Euro-centric (perhaps in contrast to those commonly encountered in the USA.) I have met Latinas who are seriously into rock from all of the countries i mentioned, and almost none of them would be much impressed by a guy's dancing credentials (some wouldn't be seen dead in a Salsa joint anyway!)

And this underlines a vital principle all too often is overlooked on P-L - namely that therere is MUCH more to Latin America than Colombia! This is why I advise all Latina-fanciers to learn at least some Spanish as a #1 priority before contemplating any journeys or agency packages. Yes it's a sacrifice, but a much easier one than learning Russian or an Asian langauge, and for this one small sacrifice you will have a key capable of opening doors all over the Americas, and far away from the Colombian Gringo trail with all its scammers, prepagos, agencies and floozies that is behind so many of the depressing posts here on P-L. Just because the "hotties" on the Caribbean coast gyrate to reggaeton doesn't mean that you have to if you don't want to; when you speak Spanish you trade in a buyers market!

[vallenatoman]

To Ceeteen:

Agreed there is but the reason colombia is focused on alot is it is a kind of special country in some ways. it just has some things that strike that romantic synergetic chord with people.

Granted i havent travlled the world extensively but you DONT have to learn its nice to if you can tho.... but the world came to me. I didnt get straight As in college I took the B or B+ and enjoyed college alittle and learned alot about colombia and south america (among other things). i knew and im sure there are even now alot of people who didnt step far beyond their dorm room walls or library cubby hole and are worse for it.

I did happen to meet many people from almost every latin country but my longer term experience was with colombians and i listened and learned. Southern SA is where alot of europeans settled that had more western euro influence. many people from Argentina, chile, etc are even PROUD of their european heritage to the point of arrogance.

Baring the bad things about colombia (and all countries have bad things so...) whats left is magical in some respects.

The mood when listening to latin music in the right light, drinking lightly with colombian friends and a lovely colombian lady on your arm just has a magic to it.


I am sure others here have experienced it... its a sense of group fun and joy ina  lively electric enivronment that you feel good in.

Dancing is a big part of it so thats why if you dont dance you WILL miss part of this experience... thats why i in some ways pitty people who dont understand spanish because the music is awesome even if you dont understand all the words. Im a mid-low end dancer myself sadly but i am practiicng soon before i go.


I WAS the gringo who sat watching every one else dance and have fun the first latin party i went to with the colombian students/friends...but i learned to enjoy their company, the dancing, and the atmosphere of the lively music that bores into your soul.

Now i am somewhere in between they said the last time we were all together at a party (wow niow some years ago) i was colombian por adopicion... because i came out of the american gringo shell i guess...now im 1/3 colombian at least

I stil pop in carlos vives and shakira and grupo niche...and enjoy it.

just passiing along my 2cents experience

[Kiltboy1]

Agreed there is but the reason Colombia is focused on alot is it is a kind of special country in some ways.


And I am sure people from Brazil, Peru, Ecuador, Venezuela and so on would say the same things. I have traveled to all of them and Colombia is no more or less special then those countries. They all have there magic and flaws. Dancing is a part of Colombia because of the heavy African influences. Salsa did not come from Colombia, but Cuba and later Puerto Rico and really, New York City in the 50's. Biased is based on fact that people have wives from those countries and are proud of them, but reality is that Colombia is no more special then any other Latin country, only to those that have women there.I like Colombia fine and I am married to a woman from Ecuador, Both countries look and feel the same to me, Spanish, hot weather, same food, no difference really

KB

[CeeTeeEnn]

That's fair enough, Vallenatowoman.

From my own point of view, I know I will never be or become Latin or Colombian. Nor will I try to be, no matter who I may end up with. But that won't stop me appreciating the musical beauty of Fruko, Niche, Dario Gomez, Diomedes Diaz, or the sounds of Llanera... albeit from the edge of the dancefloor.

To that illustrious list i would also like to add Kraken.. but that's an entirely different kettle of fish