The Nice Guy

[fathertime]

I remember in another thread some poster commented on how much older and average the men photographed for the latin-wife website looked than he expected. Then you have posters on this forum come on and talk about using latin-wife and what studs they are. And then their stories/trip reports kinda get a little crazy.

I know the lack of vacation time gets used as an excuse all the time, but while it is valid I'm impressed with the men able to "fish" for themselves. Cali was the easiest place in the world to score a date.

 

    I don’t recall many men here talking about what great studs they are, except of course for you, which you have droned on about repeatedly.   That is why I’m finding it harder and harder to believe it is actually the case.  So if you are so great, handsome, studly, why is it that you decided that Latin America was your only good option for finding a wife?  Surely a self-described stud of your caliber would have no trouble find the very best of women here in the states, because contrary to popular belief there are plenty here as well as S. America.   

Most of us over 40 gasbags have young attractive wives which we would have a very difficult time attaining here in the USA at our age and with our baggage.  We have good reason to travel if we want a younger attractive wife.  As a 25 year old, I had attractive women around me often, going to Latin America would have seemed desperate to me at that age.  Were you desperate BCC?  Based on some of your self-promoting writings it sure seems that way?  In 20 years you will be maybe 46 or so and your wife will be maybe 44 give or take. You might have a different feeling then about those somewhat older men that are willing/able to maintain younger more attractive wives.  Meanwhile I can only chuckle at your all-knowing ignorance. 

As your aggressive arrogance continues, I must remind you that you haven’t done anything THAT special.  You are young (and claim to be a stud) and you found a wife about your age and seemingly equal to you in attractiveness.  Most of us somewhat older men have already been there and done that and have moved on to more fertile hunting grounds for us.  I realize that somehow it makes you feel good to sorta backhandedly put down other men who have found happiness in their own way.  You would probably be better off sticking to things you know rather than speculate about all those evil old men that go to Latin America and snatch up all the babes out from under your all-encompassing studlyness.  

Fathertime!

[z_k_g]

        IMHO, the definition of a nice guy is wwaaayyy off.Here is what is really defined here:
Unassertive personality traits: wussy
Put the needs of others before his: Sucker
Avoids confrontations: Wussy
Does favors: not too bad but probably a sucker
Gives emotional support: Some is OK but too much is gay
And generally acts nice towards women:That's OK

     Researcher

F*cking Funny!!

LOL

Zulu

[Jeff S]

So you're calling young Asian-American Cal Berkley students, "Asian Women?" Okee dokee. And I suppose these are Latinas?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BoT_WZH_Mo

[bcc_1_2]

So you're calling young Asian-American Cal Berkley students, "Asian Women?" Okee dokee. And I suppose these are Latinas?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BoT_WZH_Mo

Probably not a terrific example but its hard to find a video of an asian dude asking asian women why they date white dudes. Admittingly I'm broad stroking it, but I do really wonder if the asian women at a club in Guangzhou interested in white American men are looking for what JM described. A well dressed western guy in Guangzhou (like in Colombia) is already going to get stereotyped as having a good job. Granted a lot of my reference is specifically just one couple which isn't fair... but the guy is anything but stoic.

[jm21-2]

Probably not a terrific example but its hard to find a video of an asian dude asking asian women why they date white dudes. Admittingly I'm broad stroking it, but I do really wonder if the asian women at a club in Guangzhou interested in white American men are looking for what JM described. A well dressed western guy in Guangzhou (like in Colombia) is already going to get stereotyped as having a good job. Granted a lot of my reference is specifically just one couple which isn't fair... but the guy is anything but stoic.

A girl going to a club in Guangzhou to hook up with white guys would be a pretty atypical girl and would probably have different ideas. I would stay the hell away from those girls....

There are enough women in Asia where you can find any type imaginable.

[Jeff S]

Asian women don't like wimps any more than white or Latina women, in general. They're perhaps willing to tolerate them more than some other cultures, but what attracts women to men is pretty universal the world around.

It turned into a flamefest the last time I said it but it's worth saying again. "Picking up quality women in bars" is an oxymoron - be it Guangzhou, Cali, St. Petersburg, or Dallas.

[Capstone]

Probably not a terrific example but its hard to find a video of an asian dude asking asian women why they date white dudes. Admittingly I'm broad stroking it, but I do really wonder if the asian women at a club in Guangzhou interested in white American men are looking for what JM described. A well dressed western guy in Guangzhou (like in Colombia) is already going to get stereotyped as having a good job. Granted a lot of my reference is specifically just one couple which isn't fair... but the guy is anything but stoic.

Wow so your barometer of what Asian women look for in a man is derived from a YouTube video of some American college girls and your imagined perception of what bar girls in Guangzhou are looking for? You are not broad stroking it here but rather simply pulling 'facts' out of your a$$ about people & places that you have absolutely zero actual experience with. You sure seem to know a lot about what women in Guangzhou think about western men, as you made 2 different references to it - so tell me exactly how many times have you actually been to Guangzhou and how many women did you meet while there? 

[Colgando]

As a 25 year old, I had attractive women around me often, going to Latin America would have seemed desperate to me at that age. 

Fathertime!

Not all of us young guys going overseas are desperate, some of us are ahead of the curve and figured it out, just more time in our prime to spend with our latina babe if we are as fortunate as you 

Hope your new baby is doing well, bet you are not getting any sleep!

[vallenatoman]

Iz

Well thats why i said i dont think you are too young...only young for this board due to the average age generally of some.

I mean as I mentioned when i met my first colombianas i was 25. within a few years i knew i wanted a colombiana and but it was too late as they returned to their country and i graduated masters and moved away. AW after that just pushed me further to the line of "suffered too much done with that". Once your out in the "real world" its much harder to find a colombiana if for no other reason you are working alot.

And i didnt "devote" alot of time searching tho. Im trying to work on a promotion so im working even harder lately can only help in the future.

Ill have my colombiana its only a matter of time!

I am kinda excited to hear an IN DEPTH fresh JAMIE experience report. Maybe the situation has changed due to economy or maybe if i am correct Jamie had some issues of his own i think has that changed anything? will be interesting so be verbose when you file the report

[bcc_1_2]

tell me exactly how many times have you actually been to Guangzhou and how many women did you meet while there? 

This a latin thread so not surprising I've been to Latin America much more than Asia. I have however been to Hong Kong before and was merely repeating what a female from Hong Kong has said to me before (she married a guy in my town). She says the expatriate community in Guangzhou is very lively and the nightlife scene is quite big on western guys meeting chinese women. According to her these women (including herself) were looking for an entertaining/humorous white guy. So when JM suggested stoic that caught me by surprise.

[fathertime]

Not all of us young guys going overseas are desperate, some of us are ahead of the curve and figured it out, just more time in our prime to spend with our latina babe if we are as fortunate as you 

Hope your new baby is doing well, bet you are not getting any sleep!

hehe Iz!  I think it is a great move to go overseas for a first wife and while young.

 I just think strictly in the case of bCc he did it more out of desperation then he would like everybody to think. 

btw:  Thanks, the new baby is thriving and thanks to the dedication of his mama, he is happily sleeping about 8 hours a night already, which is very rare for a child this young.  The stereotype of the nurturing Latina mother is entirely correct in my wife's case!  I encourage you to keep up the 'hunt' and continue asking questions to gain perspective.

Fathertime!

[Colgando]

hehe Iz!  I think it is a great move to go overseas for a first wife and while young.

 I just think strictly in the case of bCc he did it more out of desperation then he would like everybody to think. 

btw:  Thanks, the new baby is thriving and thanks to the dedication of his mama, he is happily sleeping about 8 hours a night already, which is very rare for a child this young.  The stereotype of the nurturing Latina mother is entirely correct in my wife's case!  I encourage you to keep up the 'hunt' and continue asking questions to gain perspective.

Fathertime!

Thanks Fathertime! 

I can see how Bcc stirs things up on the forum.

You lucked out on this child, sleeping 8 hours already through the night, nice. 

I will continue to ask questions. All my pre-1st trip questions have been answered. I know I will have a whole new set of questions when I get back from my 1st trip this March 

[Ray]

    I don’t recall many men here talking about what great studs they are, except of course for you, which you have droned on about repeatedly.   That is why I’m finding it harder and harder to believe it is actually the case.  So if you are so great, handsome, studly, why is it that you decided that Latin America was your only good option for finding a wife?  Surely a self-described stud of your caliber would have no trouble find the very best of women here in the states, because contrary to popular belief there are plenty here as well as S. America.   

Most of us over 40 gasbags have young attractive wives which we would have a very difficult time attaining here in the USA at our age and with our baggage.  We have good reason to travel if we want a younger attractive wife.  As a 25 year old, I had attractive women around me often, going to Latin America would have seemed desperate to me at that age.  Were you desperate BCC?  Based on some of your self-promoting writings it sure seems that way?  In 20 years you will be maybe 46 or so and your wife will be maybe 44 give or take. You might have a different feeling then about those somewhat older men that are willing/able to maintain younger more attractive wives.  Meanwhile I can only chuckle at your all-knowing ignorance. 

As your aggressive arrogance continues, I must remind you that you haven’t done anything THAT special.  You are young (and claim to be a stud) and you found a wife about your age and seemingly equal to you in attractiveness.  Most of us somewhat older men have already been there and done that and have moved on to more fertile hunting grounds for us.  I realize that somehow it makes you feel good to sorta backhandedly put down other men who have found happiness in their own way.  You would probably be better off sticking to things you know rather than speculate about all those evil old men that go to Latin America and snatch up all the babes out from under your all-encompassing studlyness.  

Fathertime!

FT, you crack me up… 


   

[jm21-2]

This a latin thread so not surprising I've been to Latin America much more than Asia. I have however been to Hong Kong before and was merely repeating what a female from Hong Kong has said to me before (she married a guy in my town). She says the expatriate community in Guangzhou is very lively and the nightlife scene is quite big on western guys meeting chinese women. According to her these women (including herself) were looking for an entertaining/humorous white guy. So when JM suggested stoic that caught me by surprise.

First, HK is very different from the mainland and most other Asian countries. And the mainland has many different regions which differ greatly from one another.

Second, no argument that there are certain areas where the nightlife involves Asian girls and western guys seeking each other out. Doesn't mean that's where you should go though...

Third, I'm pretty sure no matter what country they're from, women like an entertaining/humorous guy. Among the Asian women I would date they would also want a more intellectual guy who is informed on current affairs and global news.

Maybe we just have a different idea of "stoic." I do not mean a man who is constantly grim. I mainly mean that they typically want a guy who they can lean on when they feel insecure.

[euforia51]

Maybe we just have a different idea of "stoic." I do not mean a man who is constantly grim. I mainly mean that they typically want a guy who they can lean on when they feel insecure.

This should clear up any confusion or ideas ... from http://www.merriam-webster.com I had to look this word up myself. It doesn't fall into the stable of my everyday words like dude, man, whoa, kewl, dweeb, and rock on. 

sto·ic adj \ˈstō-ik\
Definition of STOIC
1capitalized : of, relating to, or resembling the Stoics (see 1stoic) or their doctrines <Stoic logic>
2: not affected by or showing passion or feeling; especially : firmly restraining response to pain or distress <a stoic indifference to cold>

[whitey]

Spock was pretty much modelled after the Stoics ...

[CalifSur]

Quick question related the topic of the Nice Guy:  I learned a long time ago to NEVER buy a woman a drink that I just met.  Of course, if you are on a date it's another story.

I know there is a "sit down" culture to bars/clubs in Colombia so perhaps this is a moot question.

But let's say you are in public place and meet a girl you are interested in.....do Colombian guys buy girls they barely just met a drink?  Or do only Colombian guys who are SUCKERS buy girls they've just met a drink? 

What is the general protocol?

[Researcher]

      Sometimes I would have the bartender send over an empty glass with the message "Thanks for nothin'."


            Researcher

[Zon]

I thought this was going to reference me "I don’t recall many men here talking about what great studs they are, except of course for you, which you have droned on about repeatedly" ....   I was very relieved - THANKS  Good thread.  Even researcher and I agree strongly on this point - which seems to be a rarity (Dos Equis rocks - the commercials even moreso).

The point I would like to amply is that in the last 40 years, for a number of reasons, there is a HUGE ROLE CONFUSION in the USA.  It does not serve the women's interest or the man's.   But, it certainly decreases the value of being a man significantly.  Just look at the Super Bowl commercials. The depictions of the male are unflattering.  The depiction of the female are capable and/or sexy.  Don't know why it is happened, but as this trend unfolds, sh&t is really going to change.

This "nice guy" thing (notice that I an not advocating being unkind or hostile) is part of this role confusion.   It is best seen as a man assume the woman's role.  Being overly accommodating, or even taking on female activities - I would like to cook for you and your family on Christmas Eve. (Usually "nice guys" do this not because they necessarily WANT to be a servant,  but rather for a reward - returned affection) This type of behavior gets what it deserves; a friend who want to be cooked for.  It does not generate attraction.  It certainly does not stir the passion.  It does not make a woman's heart want to "win this man."

This thread is very close the another recently that took up the issues associates with the term "GAME".   (Let's not jump into the confusion that that term causes).  There was a metaphor used above comparing a sheep to a lion.   Now, let us consider two rams butting heads, and apply it to how men are viewed by possible female mating partners.  Or, better consider the rough treatment the old lion gets in his "pride" once a young lions kicks him out!  The winner gets a harem.   Not a bad deal for the victor. 

There is no escaping these realities in the Latin dating scene.  Why should you want to?  Present yourself in a positive light, encourage just comparisons, and most gringos will "rank" well above the mark they reach in the USA.

[Zon]

I am a HUGE proponent for living full blast at later ages.   I know for myself I am 15 years younger now than I was when I first got divorced. SERIOUSLY.   Of course, visiting foreign lands helped a ton; especially with the dating thing.   But, you know ... after I dated a slew of beautiful and younger women, I got over my need.   I date pretty hot and much younger women in the USA too (but; I admit they are not rhodes scholars:)   I KNOW REALITY.  In the USA, it would be virtually impossible for me to date a 8,9, or 10 who is in her last year of medical school, and has no real need for a man.

More to the point, it is not about women only.  A man needs to feel adventure and challenge; fear and thrill are a requirement to stay young and full of vitality. This requires consequences (largely missing from the 1st world).

So, anyway, to add to my point ...  I traveled to Atlantic City this past weekend to watch a friend in his first professional MMA fight.   He is 46 years old!   He looked great.  He was in great shape.  He made me, and all the other 45 year old in the room damn proud.   Before the fight a reporter asked him; "How long are you going to fight."  He answered; "Until I loose."   

Actually, he only made it to late in the second round (he did look great in the first, however).    He fought a 24 year old that looked like a monster. After the fight, the same reporter suggested that his fighting career was finished because he lost.   He said = "I have changed my mind, now I am going to fight until I win."

When you have an attitude like this, no matter how slight, you are winner ... such a person has no problems finding dates either.    By the way, he is a real "nice guy."

[Colgando]

I look forward to experiencing the differences between Colombia and the US first hand, this is going to be bananas!

A song just came into my head, not sure how many peeps on the forum heard of Mike Jones, but one of his tracks has a hook that says, "Back then, hoes didn't want me, now I'm hot, they all on me"....LOL!  Some of these females from back in the day are digging a brother now that I am up to par, got a little swagger and some change in my pocket...crazy, nooow they digging a brother. Now it sucks a little, because in the back of mind, I think, oh, you just want me now because I do well on her checklist.

I am so curious to see what effect Colombia has on me, the perception of myself and women, crazy, this should be good!

[JimD]

Can you be more specific?

[Colgando]

Can you be more specific?

?