How do you find THE life you want (looking at it from a different perspective)

[vallenatoman]

Ok after what have been said in some of my other posts (good stuff) then....

Well say a man (like woody, me whoever but assume an eligble bachelor) wants to seriously try to find a lady who isnt perfect but has some of the qualities thats been stated makes a good partner... a woman who is willing to compromise enough to live in the USA at least part/most of the time, wants an american man for "stability" but is willing to work with him as a partnter not just  a maid/lover/plaything. wants a family.... but even maybe expects later the man warms up to her family and enjoys their company (like Euf stated in his response in one thread).

Seriosuly though : without hanging on street corners, getting scammed on websites, boozing in discotecs, how would a eligble guy find a serious more serious minded woman in colombia?

and say you find her..... on a date is it best to be honest and tell her during the evening conversation "Heres what i am looking for ... im willing to compromise ... i want a serious relationship and marriage...not games... and ill prove it by actions not words and I expect the same in return. I expect a lady to not beg/ask me for money in a new relationship and i respect a woman more who shows she is willing to put effort into growing the relationship"

Would that be too forward real for women down there who arent street urchins?

My caliber of woman i would say is semi to educated.

I mean are the agencies like jamies only real ways/ Is there a better way than ambushing? Maybe going to SPECIFC events  there?


Any ideas?

[Researcher]

   You just have to get out there and start meeting women.It's that simple.That's how I did it.I'm not so sure about telling a woman what you are looking for right up front.IMHO, it gives them too much opportunity for game playing and being just plain phony.I just relaxed  , dated around and had a good time while trying to get to know the women, who they really were.As I got more experienced at it, I didn't reveal alot about what I was looking for.

  Agencies are a good way to meet women, IMHO but there are other ways such as the internet.To me the important thing is to meet women.

  Researcher

[CalifSur]

Ok after what have been said in some of my other posts (good stuff) then....


Seriosuly though : without hanging on street corners, getting scammed on websites, boozing in discotecs, how would a eligble guy find a serious more serious minded woman in colombia?

My caliber of woman i would say is semi to educated.

I mean are the agencies like jamies only real ways/ Is there a better way than ambushing? Maybe going to SPECIFC events  there?


Any ideas?

Vallenatoman:  You are reading my mind with some of your questions. I am a NEW GUY too so take all that I say with a grain of sale.  I had no clue about the "social circle" nature of Colombian nightlife. I have heard that Mexico City is the same way.  That is the girls/woman go out in large “mixed” groups to bars/clubs. So it can be very hard to just walk into a bar or club and meet a girl.  That is, there is not the same “mingle” culture in Colombian nightlife as compared to the U.S. or Europe where it is perfectly acceptable to approach strangers.

Again, I’ve NEVER been to Colombia.  I am basing this on what I’ve read on P.L. and a few other sources including the link below.  Some guy wrote a book about “getting laid” in Colombia.  Yes…a little crass. I think I am like most of the guys here…looking for something lasting and real.  

That said, I was able to google the book title and find some free excerpts from the book.  Basically, the guy argues that the best time in COLOMBIA to meet women in PUBLIC is during the daytime.

I wonder what some of the long-time members know about or think about this resource. I have no idea if this guy is legitimate or not???  Probably a fair amount of B.S. in the book but some of it appears to be pretty reasonable……a link is below.
 
[Admin Edit: Removed Link. The link was to a site essentially acting as a manual for sex tourists. PL is not a venue for such links and does not allow them to be posted here.]

[CalifSur]

I meant to say "grain of salt" in my last post. I need to edit my work before posting!

[CeeTeeEnn]

You say "My caliber of woman i would say is semi to educated" - I say you have your work cut out for you in Colombia, big time.

I will say, however, that if you insist on finding a woman in Colombia and wish to use agencies, you may be better off contacting Consuelo (http://www.introductionsbyconsuelo.com/) as she professes to introducing smart, educated and career-minded girls - or maybe that should read "women" - to serious and discerning Western men (at least this was the case the last time i looked.) The women are predominatly from the Bogota area and are aged mostly 30 plus; you will not find many 18-25 hotties on her site.

I would add that if finding a woman is your prima face reason for coming to Colombia, you may as well confine your search to the capital as many of the women from the provinces with educational or career aspirations will visit Bogota regularly and have contacts there. But whatever you do, you will need to prepare yourself mentally for the process of sifting through many frogs before finding a princess; if I second guess your tastes in women correctly i think you'll agree that Bogota has just about the best "princess to frog ratio" of anywhere in Colombia.

I would also recommend you to keep an open mind. You don't *have* to find a woman in Colombia. There are many other Latin countries to consider, not to mention other parts of the world entirely.

[Zon]

Point and Click is a shot in the dark.   Those ebooks are grounded in war stories, but have little specific application.  And, agencies are problematic because the women participating have a prior reason for meeting you (getting out of a geographic situation).

You have to live there - one way or the other.  You have to make real friends and associates that can help you network.  You have to break into the social groups you desire through common interest - academic; church; charities; international events.

Not easy, or fast.

[Jeff S]

Any particular reason you need to find this educated, serious minded, stable, non-street urchin woman, willing to marry and move outside her country, who is interested in you in Colombia?

I was in Linkoping Sweden, a really nice college town SW of Stockholm with lots of beautiful women, few years back and ran into a dark hair/ eyes/ skin girl who you might call a morena. I was surprised to find out she was 100% Swedish born and raised right there in Linkoping. (I'm betting she had some Indian ancestry but she never owned up to it.) She resisted my best charms - maybe she had a boyfriend, maybe she just wasn't interested in a tall, blue eyed American with corny pick up lines - whatever. That said, if someone wanted to find a morena, I'm not sure I'd recommend they hop a flight to Sweden.

[whitey]

You say "My caliber of woman i would say is semi to educated" - I say you have your work cut out for you in Colombia, big time.

Are you kidding me?!  Man I feel like a broken record: there are tons of attractive, educated women in Colombia.
It must be pretty scary on the dating sites if this isn't the case.

In another thread I mentioned a 25 year old with 2 degrees working with my wife.  Everyone she works with has degrees.  Same with her sister and her friends/collegues.  My best friend just started dating a woman from Bogota, not sure what degree(s) she has, but has a great job in international sales working for GE.  He was introduced to her in person from a friend that had met her online. 

My Colombian friends in Canada are engineers, economists, dentists, doctors, nurses, biologists, architects.
 

I will say, however, that if you insist on finding a woman in Colombia and wish to use agencies, you may be better off contacting Consuelo (http://www.introductionsbyconsuelo.com/) as she professes to introducing smart, educated and career-minded girls - or maybe that should read "women" - to serious and discerning Western men (at least this was the case the last time i looked.) The women are predominatly from the Bogota area and are aged mostly 30 plus; you will not find many 18-25 hotties on her site.

I would add that if finding a woman is your prima face reason for coming to Colombia, you may as well confine your search to the capital as many of the women from the provinces with educational or career aspirations will visit Bogota regularly and have contacts there. But whatever you do, you will need to prepare yourself mentally for the process of sifting through many frogs before finding a princess; if I second guess your tastes in women correctly i think you'll agree that Bogota has just about the best "princess to frog ratio" of anywhere in Colombia.

Good advice ... from what I've read, Bogota and Consuelo's seems to be the best option for professional women ...

[Researcher]

Seriosuly though : without hanging on street corners, getting scammed on websites, boozing in discotecs, how would a eligble guy find a serious more serious minded woman in colombia?

My caliber of woman i would say is semi to educated.

I mean are the agencies like jamies only real ways/ Is there a better way than ambushing? Maybe going to SPECIFC events  there?


Any ideas?

        If you have the time and money to move there, your chances are pretty good that you can find what you are looking for.But in the real world I don't know of many guys who can do this.You don't have to use an agency but over the years I found them to be helpful and time saving.I and several others here have met their wives through an agency, so it can be done.But no matter what course you take alot depends on you more than any other factor.Many women in agencies don't want to marry the wrong guy just as you don't want to marry the wrong woman.Whether you use an agency,the internet, or decide to rely on fate you still will need to keep yours eyes open and watch for red flags.

       Researcher
   

[euforia51]

Can't help but chime in here. Vallenatoman... do you speak Spanish at all? If not, start studying it and begin learning to communicate with the women. I mentioned before on other threads, I met my girl on a free social site. It was completely by accident. I had no idea that I would even want to consider a Colombian woman. Through our first e-mails, screening each other was natural. It didn't take long for us both to decide we were serious about going further to Instant Message, etc. Ask questions but don't over do it. This is not a job interview. Approach it as you are curious because you are interested and nothing more. From another perspective, gauge her interest by being slightly aloof, playful, and also serious. Be patient, be willing, and be ready.

Get a decent profile on some of the free social sites like MySpace, Tagged, Zoosk, and others. Get a few good pictures as well. Also consider the agencies like you've been discussing on other threads. Entertain and consider all of your options. Talk to and correspond with many women at first and begin narrowing down your options... and remember there is no rush so don't make yourself appear that there is...

[Bob_S]

on a date is it best to be honest and tell her during the evening conversation "Heres what i am looking for ...

Sorry, but you just blew it right there.  A scammer or visa shark will come back with "Hey, that's me!  I'm semi to educated, willing to work hard in your family business, won't beg for money (yet) and can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.  Now hurry up and get me that visa so I can come live forever with you my darling sweetie kissy kissy...." 
Do you hear what I'm sayin'?  Don't telegraph your punches.  You should spend that date asking questions, not making declarative statements about what you want or expect.  Just a word to the wise.   

Would that be too forward real for women down there who aren't street urchins?

Probably.  I don't know about S.A., but as a general rule, women from non-native English speaking countries tend to be more feminine than you may be used to.  Laying it out like that sounds more like a business proposition.  Court them.  Court them with the gentle-manliness your grandfather probably courted your grandmother.

[utopiacowboy]

If you need tips on how to interact with Colombian women, maybe they are not for you. They are real women who want real men. Believe me, when you go down there and are the recipients of all the female attention, no one should have to draw you a map or whisper instructions on what you need to do to woo them.

[euforia51]

If you need tips on how to interact with Colombian women, maybe they are not for you.

Maybe this is a little harsh for specifically Colombian women. But if you need a few tips and pointers on interaction with any women, I recommend doing some light reading by David DeAngelo.

They are real women who want real men.

Yep... Yep... and Yep!

[vallenatoman]

Well  i thought this board was for asking tips and advice

Im sure i can go "pick" a girl up but remember thats not my goal.

My goal is serious relationship.

Therefore picking brains of people who (well many) have been serious or have found someone. thats you (general you)

[utopiacowboy]

Well  i thought this board was for asking tips and advice

Im sure i can go "pick" a girl up but remember thats not my goal.

My goal is serious relationship.

Therefore picking brains of people who (well many) have been serious or have found someone. thats you (general you)

Even a serious relationship starts with a "pickup" of some sort, whether it's in person or online. You make it sound like a "serious relationship" is a business deal. Believe me, if a Colombiana doesn't think she's going to be having fun with you, it's not going to go very far, serious or not.

[Jeff S]

Yes, I agree with U/C. Every really good relationship starts basically the same way, do you enjoy each other's company and are you attracted to each other. It's only once you get past that hurdle, does it move to "serious" or not.

[Alabamaboy!]

The two biggest limiting factors I see with most of the guys going to Colombia are: Not enough time available so they jump on the first hot girl who shows them interest, and they do not speak enough Spanish.

I think anyone who goes down without any pressure and has time to date, make friends, learn the culture, communicate in their language,  etc. will have excellent results if they are not some kind of social misfit.

[Alabamaboy!]

You will learn more about Colombia, Colombianas, and yourself in one week down there than you will in a year of hanging out on the forums or chatting on Messenger. You need to get down as soon as you can to experience everything. And as long as you have some Spanish behind you, I think you will see how things are much better and be able to make your moves. Nothing on these forums takes the place of actually being down there.

[CeeTeeEnn]

I'm glad to see you have a good selection of professional Colombian friends in Canada, Whitey.

Indeed, i myself occasionally meet interesting and educated girls in cyberspace, with whom i then discover certain common interests and conversation topics, only to discover later on that somewhat remarkably they just happen to be Colombian.

This is a welcome relief. After all the recent posts here on Colombian women's percieved lack of basic education and global awareness (not to mention their dishonesty, duplicity, unreliabliliy, childishness and general incapability to integrate into non-latin societies), any talk of professional, educated and cultured Colombianas comes as a breath of fresh air.

I certianly hope that 2011 will see some good news stories surfacing here on P-L, involving Colombianas who do not conform to the depressingly negative stereotypes hitherto associated with their kind.

[Fuzzyone]

  I would try to go back and just start reading the old post here. They are a gold mine of info and will show you where some of the clowns screwed up including me!