Finding a true partner no just a chick

[vallenatoman]

You know i read alot online here and elsewhere.

Im just wonderign from experiences everyone has seen/had...

My goal would be not only to have a wife/novia but to have a partner in life and I HOPE business someday.

Do eligible colombian ladies mainly want to just "come here and have kids" or are many wise enough to want to take the opportunity to
work with their husband at a family business?

not saying it HAS to be that way but i think that would be great.

[Bob_S]

...are many wise enough to want to take the opportunity to work with their husband at a family business?

How is it wise to volunteer to be a drudge for your in-laws?  Or will she be getting a fair market salary for her labor that goes into a private account she can do with as she pleases?  And if she's a poor employee, will firing her mean you have to divorce her?  It sounds like a lot of potential stress a wise woman would avoid.   

[Bill_McC]

Or will she be a full partner with access to the boardroom and a nearly equal say in the business of the business? I realize that it can't be an equal say as there has to be a captain of the ship, but you get my point.

[whitey]

Im just wonderign from experiences everyone has seen/had...

My goal would be not only to have a wife/novia but to have a partner in life and I HOPE business someday.

Do eligible colombian ladies mainly want to just "come here and have kids" or are many wise enough to want to take the opportunity to
work with their husband at a family business?

not saying it HAS to be that way but i think that would be great.

I don't have any experience, just the observation that Colombians are very entrepreneurial ... by necesity.

My wife owns her own house that she rents out while living at home.  Her mother and father both have micro businesses they run out of the house.  Half the homes in my wife's neighbourhood have visible signs of small businesses (tailoring, hair/nails, cell phone minutes, equipment rental, variety store, etc.). 

If you marry an educated, working Colombian woman (there are MANY), chances are she will want to have kids and would also potentially make a good business partner.

[Jeff S]

Well, you better look for one that's has brains and judgement not just a pretty face and great body then. There are intelligent and wise women in every culture, just as there are ignorant and stupid ones, neither can you judge by looking at them - well, I take that back - you can tell somewhat about a woman's judgement by looking at her appearance (clothes, hair, makeup, etc. not hooters and butt.) This is why picking them out of an agency catalog is folly. You gotta go there and spend time.

My wife is a great life partner, but I wouldn't consider her a business partner, unless my business was to work remotely while she dealt with paperwork at the office. We need time apart to appreciate the time together.

[Zon]

Here Here - "We need time apart to appreciate the time together."

[Kiltboy1]

My wife is not Colombian, she is Ecuadorian, but its all the same really in my opinion. My wife's whole family are business people with there own businesses or work in high level companies multinationals. If you find a woman that has been brought up like this, she will absolutely want to work in your family company and do everything she can to make it better.More education=More ambition in Latin countries as plumbers, electrician, construction  workers do not make $$ like they can here so might want to avoid the lesser educated women if you want a wife and Biz partner as well.

KB

[Researcher]

    My wife is just the type that could do well at her own business.She already does sewing and alterations for people and makes money from it.I wouldn't say that all Colombian women want to have kids.It's just one of those situations where you will need to just get out there and look.My advice would be to start in Bogota for this type of woman.


  Researcher

[vallenatoman]

To answer yes i meant Marry her bring her here and  (JUST us two at first) start/work in our own business. It may extend to family like inlaws and such later but mainly i meant me and her.

There was a guy on here awhile back named Woody and altho an interesting journey he had..... i couldnt tell if he ever had aspirations to start a company or something with a lady he found......we all want a colombian women for love --- but theres more to life than just sitting in a chair looking at your prize all day.

I think a business ran together could be a great catalyst for closeness as with anything depends on you.

Any sucess stories beyond whats been posted ?

What about this JAMIE and his dating site? is he a success story per se of this?

[Woody]

There was a guy on here awhile back named Woody and altho an interesting journey he had..... i couldnt tell if he ever had aspirations to start a company or something with a lady he found......we all want a colombian women for love --- but theres more to life than just sitting in a chair looking at your prize all day.

Starting a business with a Colombiana was never a plan for me. For one, the type of business I would start would make it impossible for her to participate(if I was to do a business, it would be a small design and building firm for military communications gear, she probably couldn't even participate even in a secretarial role.)


 Actually, after reflecting back on my time and experiences in Colombia, I'm seriously considering changing gears. The caliber of woman with the specific qualities I want in a lifetime partner is just damn hard to find in Colombia. Also, now that the newness has worn off; I can see that life in Colombia, while action packed, is not something that will appeal to me for long term. Sure, the cost of living is great, but take in the environmental factors, the lifestyle factors, etc and I just don't see my heart in it anymore.

I'm not saying Colombia isn't great, but for my personality type and interests, it doesn't have much staying power.

I think I am a much better--long term--match for Chinese culture. Unfortunately, it would be career suicide for me to marry a native Chinese woman(See previous statement about starting a business, same reason the FSU was never on my list).  So, I'm looking more along the lines of the Philippines or Japan(Not sure where Taiwan falls, but I am excluding it to be safe).

Interestingly enough, in my browsing of FH/FC and sorting through women, the youngest woman that piques my interest is 21, the vast majority of the others are 26-28. So far, after browsing over 10,000 profiles, only 30 or so women have me interested. Not that it matters, with the sheer number of women on FH/FC it isn't like I won't find more if none of them end up being what I'm looking for.

[Jeff S]

That's the "culture" factor kicking in that we harp on so much over on the Asian board. It's all about what you want and need meshing with she wants and needs, filtered through with what she is culturally programmed to deliver. If you're OK with that, great. If you're not, then you need to look elsewhere.

[whitey]

Actually, after reflecting back on my time and experiences in Colombia, I'm seriously considering changing gears. The caliber of woman with the specific qualities I want in a lifetime partner is just damn hard to find in Colombia. Also, now that the newness has worn off; I can see that life in Colombia, while action packed, is not something that will appeal to me for long term. Sure, the cost of living is great, but take in the environmental factors, the lifestyle factors, etc and I just don't see my heart in it anymore.

I'm not saying Colombia isn't great, but for my personality type and interests, it doesn't have much staying power.

I think I am a much better--long term--match for Chinese culture. Unfortunately, it would be career suicide for me to marry a native Chinese woman(See previous statement about starting a business, same reason the FSU was never on my list).  So, I'm looking more along the lines of the Philippines or Japan(Not sure where Taiwan falls, but I am excluding it to be safe).

Interesting comments Woody.  The more I hear about the Philippines, the more similar it seems to me to Colombia, but of course I've never been there so I have no real idea.

Japan and China on the other hand, seem very different.

What was it that turned you off about the Colombian women vs. what seems appealing about Asian women?  What is it about the culture that appeals to you more?

[robert angel]

Re:

>> The more I hear about the Philippines, the more similar it seems to me to Colombia, but of course I've never been there so I have no real idea.<<

When I was reading about manners and etiquette for caballeros I was struck by how similar things in that regard seemed between what my wife and the the other ladies I had spent time with in the Philippines expected in terms of manners from gentlemen and how similar it seems to me to Colombia, but of course I've never been there so I have no real idea.

About the only thing that stood out, if I recall correctly, is that guys in the Philippines are actually expected to often sit with one leg across another--that a guy who doesn't might be considered gay or effeminate. And on that note, I think they're probably more 'accepting', in a good humored way, of gays, male and female alike, in the Philippines than in Colombia, but I could be wrong. 'Machismo' is alive and well in both nations it seems, along with a good deal of what we might call 'irresponsible behavior' among many males, both married and single.

But opening doors, being attentive--what were once good old fashioned manners in the USA, seem to still be very much alive and appreciated in the RP and Colombia. One other minor thing--when we eat out, we usually seek out a booth rather than a table, usually close enough to sit across from one another, hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes. My wife also can then  touch my face if I have a crumb of anything on it, or God forbid, a piece of anything stuck between my teeth.

I think that while extreme sports options aren't as available for most Filipinas back home, I think there's plenty of gals who wouldn't shy away and a guy could find an attractive, well educated partner who has a great sense of adventure.

I know it's not 'extreme', but my wife did an outstanding job on the shooting range, a few days back, shooting for her first time with  with a 45 ACP pistol, which has some kick, and she loves to fish, jet ski and wants to para sail and snow ski, for starters. Snow's a good distance away, but a lot of Filipinas we know have traveled to ski resorts and loved it.

[whitey]

One thing that always struck me about your wife Rob, is how similar her personality sounds to Nazly ... and even physically, Nazly may have an inch or two on your wife, but is the same weight.  That should make shopping very interesting in Canada!  Even in Colombia, Nazly has most of her clothes either made for her or tailored to her.

It also seems like there are plenty of scammers and plenty of good women in both countries ... it all comes down to being realistic, learning the language and culture, and taking the time to make wise choices.

One other minor thing--when we eat out, we usually seek out a booth rather than a table, usually close enough to sit across from one another, hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes. My wife also can then  touch my face if I have a crumb of anything on it, or God forbid, a piece of anything stuck between my teeth.

Funny you mention this ... it's one of the things I love about Colombia too ... although it's just as common to sit side-by-side.  

I think I may have mentioned this before, but about a year ago I was out at a restaurant for lunch with some friends from work.  There was a Canadian guy and what could have been a Phillipina in a booth near us, sitting side-by-side, very affectionate with each other, touching hands, she leaning her head on his shoulder occasionally, etc.

Everyone at our table made snide comments, and the women's comments were particularly negative.  Meanwhile I was thinking ... that's going to be Nazly and I soon.  Why wouldn't anyone want to be close to their spouse like that?  People are going to think we're weird ... but so what!  

[Jeff S]

My wife and I still hold hands when we walk down the street, and often still sit side by side in restaurants, and in another week or so we'll have been married 25 years. It often bring smiles from people we see on the street or driving by in cars.

[robert angel]

Whitey, Re:

One thing that always struck me about your wife Rob, is how similar her personality sounds to Nazly ... and even physically, Nazly may have an inch or two on your wife, but is the same weight.  That should make shopping very interesting in Canada!  Even in Colombia, Nazly has most of her clothes either made for her or tailored to her.

Funny you mention this ... it's one of the things I love about Colombia too ... although it's just as common to sit side-by-side.  

I think I may have mentioned this before, but about a year ago I was out at a restaurant for lunch with some friends from work.  There was a Canadian guy and what could have been a Phillipina in a booth near us, sitting side-by-side, very affectionate with each other, touching hands, she leaning her head on his shoulder occasionally, etc.

Everyone at our table made snide comments, and the women's comments were particularly negative.  Meanwhile I was thinking ... that's going to be Nazly and I soon.  Why wouldn't anyone want to be close to their spouse like that?  People are going to think we're weird ... but so what!  

Whitey, I hear you. I think you, Nazly,my wife and I-- we'd all get along quite well. My wife and Nazly do seem to have a lot in common. I know she'd love to just have dinner together at least--some time with someone like Nazly to practice her Spanish. Right now, she is with a 4th grade and a 5th grade class for Spanish lessons twice a week and she's really enjoying it. I'm sure they'd hit it off well in general.

When we get around to taking the train from Windsor, Ontario to Toronto--probably a couple years down the line, we'd love to stop and have lunch and or dinner with the two of you.

And likewise--we're ten minutes from the Interstate that leads to Disneyworld, which is about four hours away and we'd love to host you guys. We just got back from Key West, Florida and it was just like Disney--it seemed there were more Asians and other foreigners there than US Citizens. You and I will be the minority members!

We've been very fortunate, or maybe my hearing's not so good, but we've only overheard people making snide, dumb comments two or three times in over five years. Once at Disneyworld, we heard some red neck couple look at us and say 'is that her Dad?' and I forget what the others were.

Oh---how could I forget THIS one:--although I've mentioned it before--We weren't here for our two first weeks together yet when we were in a store--a couple aisles apart from each other, just browsing the clothes racks, when some really weird woman, who looked like she'd had a horrible life, walked up to my wife and said something along the lines of "Are you OK?--Is that man keeping you against your will--I'll take you to safety". As if I was Chester the molester or something....My wife was so flabbergasted, she didn't know what to say except 'no' and quickly walk away. Very, very weird.

We sometimes wonder if that woman had some really bad designs in her own head and if she could've pulled her into a car what God awful things might've happened

I am sure people make comments behind our backs, including at our worksites, especially because there is an actual substantial age difference between her and I. She's a tad over 5 ft and I'm 6 ft. too. Then, she's looks a lot younger than she really is and I don't have much hair on top, so I guess I look older than my actual age. But you know--we don't let it bother us a bit--seriously,, they can flip off, for all we care. It's about US--not them--not small minded people who don't matter to us..

However, for what it's worth, my wife doesn't like me wearing things like buck suede shoes, a tweed jacket and smoking an 's" shaped meerschaum pipe--she likes me more in a polo shirt and khakis, no socks, Sperry top siders with a Nike cap on top--contemporary, classy--sporty--but that's what she likes on guys period, I figure, including her four brothers, even her Dad. Mature beyond her years in mind and manners, but very young at heart and not one to dwell on negatives..

I guess if ever get so old that I'm back in diapers--gone full circle--she'll look real hard for adult sized diapers with Nike logos on them....

When we're out and about, and we see a couple in their 70's or 80's, holding hands together, or one helping another in a sweet way--my wife ALWAYS notices and squeezes my hand and moves her face a wee bit to point her nose towards the couple, so I'll take note (A proper Filipina would never point with her finger) -she gets so mushy and sentimental and then she says "Honey--I hope WE'RE like that someday too."

JeffS and his lovely wife are a ways from those age milestones, but they're walking the right path, it sounds like.

I think the negative remarks--typically from insecure, unhappy losers anyway, will be much less than you might imagine, but it doesn't hurt to be aware there are some people who need to 'get a life' instead of trying to focus on other people's.

If that fails--just remember the immortal words and wisdom of Dr. Seuss:

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” "

[vallenatoman]

AHh woody is still here.

Wow wasnt expecting your response tho to mean you kinda gave up on colombianas.

It seemed like you were really into colombia and ladies there....i think youd find someone there if you give it another serious shot.

Anyway, ahhh ok yea see my idea of business wouldnt be secretive government stuff i can see how that is little different.

I still think i like the overall package tho now this is barring FARC and that crap. just looking at normal colombian people...

It would be so nice to have the "latin flare" parties, dancing, food, your lovely latin spicy lady with a touch of american down to earthism thrown in.

Woody - did you feel through your experiences like you would have liked a latin life at least partially or do you feel like you woulndt want to give up enough of american ways to comprise on a lifestyle that may be more "latin".

[Woody]

Interesting comments Woody.  The more I hear about the Philippines, the more similar it seems to me to Colombia, but of course I've never been there so I have no real idea.

Japan and China on the other hand, seem very different.

What was it that turned you off about the Colombian women vs. what seems appealing about Asian women?  What is it about the culture that appeals to you more?

Philipines is similar, but different enough that it has a lasting appeal for me. High focus on education(hopefully learning as well, not just degree mills), little to no emphasis on partying at the club/dancing(more on karaoke and family socials, which I enjoy), easier adaptation into a non-Hispanic community, etc.

Colombianas are, in general, uber-Colombia centric and seem to know nothing about anything not immediately relevant to daily survival. Jamie said it best, the most common thing you will hear from a Colombiana is, "I don't know." I'm not looking for someone to have a few kids with and be a housekeeper for me, I want an intellectual equal with opinions and ideas. Not a yes-woman.

I'm not going to rush it, the process takes time and convenient short-cuts often turn into dead ends.

I'm going to be very busy over the next few months anyways. I start a 19credit course load next week(then 18 during summer session, another 18 in the fall, etc) and finish stage one of the repairs on the go cart I just bought to get it fully functional. Stage two will be tons of fun. I'm keeping an eye out for a wrecked motorcycle to use as a replacement engine(400-650cc), 80mph top end is the goal. Possibly a full on dune buggy(street legal) to follow.

Got a bunch of building projects to finish by the fall: aircraft hangar, ultralite, residing/insulating the barn, wiring the barn and hangar, a few long distance wifi shots, radio tower, finish building the horse stables, turn an electric golf cart into a hybrid, break a few horses, build a horse chariot(yeah, I'm going there), ya know, the normal stuff. Some people call country life boring, but I love it.

[Woody]

It would be so nice to have the "latin flare" parties, dancing, food, your lovely latin spicy lady with a touch of american down to earthism thrown in.

Woody - did you feel through your experiences like you would have liked a latin life at least partially or do you feel like you woulndt want to give up enough of american ways to comprise on a lifestyle that may be more "latin".

Yeah, that about sums it up. I'm all for an integration of cultures, but Latin culture overwhelms. I like aspects, but I'm not ready for a full conversion.

[Jeff S]

I'm going to be very busy over the next few months anyways. I start a 19credit course load next week(then 18 during summer session, another 18 in the fall, etc) and finish stage one of the repairs on the go cart I just bought to get it fully functional. Stage two will be tons of fun. I'm keeping an eye out for a wrecked motorcycle to use as a replacement engine(400-650cc), 80mph top end is the goal. Possibly a full on dune buggy(street legal) to follow.

Got a bunch of building projects to finish by the fall: aircraft hangar, ultralite, residing/insulating the barn, wiring the barn and hangar, a few long distance wifi shots, radio tower, finish building the horse stables, turn an electric golf cart into a hybrid, break a few horses, build a horse chariot(yeah, I'm going there), ya know, the normal stuff. Some people call country life boring, but I love it.

WHAT? No plans to build a boat? I am disappointed....

[whitey]

When we get around to taking the train from Windsor, Ontario to Toronto--probably a couple years down the line, we'd love to stop and have lunch and or dinner with the two of you.

And likewise--we're ten minutes from the Interstate that leads to Disneyworld, which is about four hours away and we'd love to host you guys. We just got back from Key West, Florida and it was just like Disney--it seemed there were more Asians and other foreigners there than US Citizens. You and I will be the minority members!

Thanks Rob ... we'd love to see you ... you're welcome at our place anytime.  I'm sure Nazly would enjoy Disneyworld as it seems to be a mecca for so many people, but she's never mentioned it yet. 

Key West is on my list of places to see.  My family spent 3 weeks every summer in various parts of Florida (Ft Lauderdale, Sarasota, Orlando, Clearwater), but we never got that far south.

Oh---how could I forget THIS one:--although I've mentioned it before--We weren't here for our two first weeks together yet when we were in a store--a couple aisles apart from each other, just browsing the clothes racks, when some really weird woman, who looked like she'd had a horrible life, walked up to my wife and said something along the lines of "Are you OK?--Is that man keeping you against your will--I'll take you to safety". As if I was Chester the molester or something....My wife was so flabbergasted, she didn't know what to say except 'no' and quickly walk away. Very, very weird.

Wow ... as you say ... very very weird.  You dirty old man, you.

Nazly says we get some looks when I'm in Colombia, but I doubt it has much to do with our size and age differences (I'm only 5'9" and we're 13 years apart which is not unusual).  I'm pretty oblivious ... I should really be more observant. 

It's probably my fair hair and light skin that makes me so obviously gringo ... just no getting around it, especially on the coast.  I don't mind though ... most of the time I like standing out a little as people are more curious about you, and if I was single it would be an advantage.

Hmmm ... or maybe it's just the Jimmy Buffet shirt and the sandals with white socks ...?

[whitey]

I'm going to be very busy over the next few months anyways. I start a 19credit course load next week(then 18 during summer session, another 18 in the fall, etc) and finish stage one of the repairs on the go cart I just bought to get it fully functional. Stage two will be tons of fun. I'm keeping an eye out for a wrecked motorcycle to use as a replacement engine(400-650cc), 80mph top end is the goal. Possibly a full on dune buggy(street legal) to follow.

Got a bunch of building projects to finish by the fall: aircraft hangar, ultralite, residing/insulating the barn, wiring the barn and hangar, a few long distance wifi shots, radio tower, finish building the horse stables, turn an electric golf cart into a hybrid, break a few horses, build a horse chariot(yeah, I'm going there), ya know, the normal stuff. Some people call country life boring, but I love it.

Jeez Woody, you make me feel like a lazy slug!

[ignorante]

Oh---how could I forget THIS one:--although I've mentioned it before--We weren't here for our two first weeks together yet when we were in a store--a couple aisles apart from each other, just browsing the clothes racks, when some really weird woman, who looked like she'd had a horrible life, walked up to my wife and said something along the lines of "Are you OK?--Is that man keeping you against your will--I'll take you to safety".

  Whew!  She almost escaped!  You need to keep a better eye on her in public!   
Robert, that has to be the funniest thing I have read on this web site, ever!

[robert angel]

Ignorante,

Re:
Quote from: robert angel on Yesterday at 09:12:49 PM

Oh---how could I forget THIS one:--although I've mentioned it before--We weren't here for our two first weeks together yet when we were in a store--a couple aisles apart from each other, just browsing the clothes racks, when some really weird woman, who looked like she'd had a horrible life, walked up to my wife and said something along the lines of "Are you OK?--Is that man keeping you against your will--I'll take you to safety".

                                                                     &

  Whew!  She almost escaped!  You need to keep a better eye on her in public!   
Robert, that has to be the funniest thing I have read on this web site, ever!

That lady was weird--she had eyes that looked as black and intense as a rat with its tail in electrical outlet. If only she saw what my wife did to to the 'perp with a gun figure' from the US Dept of Defense-Defensive Criminal Investigative Service's body target, from 50 feet away with a 45 caliber pistol!

She put 48 of 52 shots--4 magazines worth, into the body target---all between the head and groin....And she doesn't like to use the green laser sight either-- she has a steady hand, good eye aim and consistent body dynamics.

[william3rd]

There are a lot of do-gooders out there trying to free the foreign wife slave from her control-freak batterer husband. Probably one of those idiots who man the battered women's shelters. While I feel the shelters are a necessity for some folks who do need to escape, the operators seem to be overzealous in their efforts.

One of my associate attorneys about 12 years ago was in court and was approached by some of the shelter representatives. She practiced tai kwon do at a competition level, which meant that she frequently came to court with severe bruises on her arms and legs- and sometimes to her cheeks when she forgot to duck (lol).

"You dont have to put up with that; we can help you." "No man should treat a woman that way." Etc Etc Etc. After a few minutes of trying to explain her hobby to them, she was informed that she was "just in denia" and she should "stop making excuses." They pushed a card on her and told her to call for help when she had enough of the abuse.