The Mistakes Men Make with Foreign Women

[Jamie]

[

Just because you are getting teamed up on a little let me say I agree with you on this.

Well maybe he no longer agrees. He was given an opportunity to explain why he felt I was not suitable for giving advice on relationships and he declined to provide a response. State why you feel I may not be and what information I provided is wrong?

I don't know who you are, but you are not the first to question this agency owner on this. Pics of his (former) wife were plastered on his website at one time. In this business his personal life is fair game. He'll dodge these questions, but regardless of your motives those questions above have merit.

I have never dodged questions with any exchanges I have had on this forum. That is you forte, and I can quickly come up with examples of your refusal to answer questions if you like, while you won’t be able to do the same. Many of my clients know of my personal status, it is no secret except to strangers like you. Many of these client post on this forum, but they obviously did not see it relevant to bring up.
 

And as Dan has mentioned Jamie also will draw critics or at least questions because of his profit motive in this. By writing this negative piece what does it accomplish for him? Surely it is not to keep single men from traveling down. Maybe it is to instill the belief that if and when they come down... they'll definitely need him to sort these Colombian women out.

Typical of your assumptions it’s off base. What it accomplishes is added information to the man for making better decisions. The decision could be I do not want to pursue Latin women. I fine an informed client to be a better client. I do not sort the women out for the men, but having a helpful hand (our services) can make a positive difference, but I leave that to the man to decide.

What I can tell you is an agency will have a MICROSCOPIC portion of the available chica population of a city signed up.

How is this insight to anyone. Your advice is obvious to anyone who knows basic math. What a good agency does provide is a concentration of available women. No method is going to provide a high portion of the available women in a particular city at your disposal.

While agenices offer a service... you don't absolutely need any agency. In fact if you only pursue women in agencies you heavily restrict your options. Pursue all avenues I say.

You can apply this advice to all the options. You can say you don’t need Facebook or you don’t need dating sites or you don’t need friends. It is obvious to all that one does not “absolutely need” an agency. There are positives and negatives with different approaches and most men weigh those before choosing. Pursuing all methods is not practical for most men. One method is to hang out at different places to meet women randomly, yet this can be very time consuming, and most men don’t have the luxury of wasting their limited vacation time. So when you say do it all that is just foolish advice. Men do what is in their best means and interest few can “pursue all avenues”

With most agencies you can arrange a pay per meeting price. With Jamie's agency it gets a little more complicated and expensive. Up to you

Since our inception we have always had a pay per meeting introduction service.

[JWR]

I'm going to give Jamie credit for putting himself out there on the firing line, and continuing to come here to interact.

I am the guy who was married for 11 years and now divorced.  This certainly does not make me an expert on Colombian American marriage/relationships.  Although I do have some strong advice for those of you in a relationship or married to one of these girls.  LEARN SPANISH NOW, while you have a private instructor.  My ex wife is very intelligent, and is now completely fluent in English with barely an accent.  As her English got better, I got lazy with my Spanish, and that is my only regret period.  I can speak enough spanish to go out on dates without a translator, but it's been a challenge to start speaking again.  Those of you married to a Colombian girl may also find themselves down the road back on the dating scene down here, and it sure makes life easier, and more fun with the ability to speak Spanish.

This has been an interesting thread, and I guess there are some fundamental principals you can apply to avoid some of the risk, but as you guys already know, the girls are all different.  I get to know each one on an individual basis, and try not to generalize, and keep preconceptions to a minimum.

My personal situation is allowing me to live down here for a while, so that has taken a lot of the pressure off of making perfect decisions.  I have the time to make some mistakes, and just enjoy a girl’s company without worrying about having to catch a plane.  When in the company of a pretty Colombian Girl, my judgment is suspect at best.

Jamie has done a nice job for me, and he adjusts his style and plans to suit yours.  This has been especially nice in my case because since I’m in no real hurry,  I’ve been moving at a turtle’s pace.

One other little bit of advice is to get a cell phone as soon as you get down here.  You can get a cheap one, and just buy minutes.  Then you can send and receive text messages, and use google translation for help if you get stuck.  Texting has been a lot of fun.

I find some of the arguing that goes on here quite amusing at times because it all seems very simple to me.  Once you are spoiled and have been with a Colombian girl,  you’re not going to be able to go back to the other side, so you may as well accept it and make the best of the situation.

Soon after my ex came to the US, the relationship became just like most relationships, and the fact that she was from Colombia really didn't make much difference.  Just two people learning to get along and live together on a daily basis.  Our story just isn't that facinating because there just isn't much drama.  She's a great person, who decided that she didn't want children, and I really started to want a child.

[bcc_1_2]

   I disagree with some of what you wrote here bcc.I do think you will answer a question and not slink away.So let me ask what does an agency owner's personal life have to do with a guy successfully finding a good woman?

 

None, especially if the guy isn't using an agency to begin with  . On a serious note if I was using the services of an agency I'd highly prefer the owner to yes in fact be married. This way he's focused on his business and his relationship with his wife and not using his business as his personal playground. Single men in the agency business just have that reputation.

But to be fair divorced men can definitely explain what went wrong for them and the mistakes they made. That might be of help... but advising men on what to do... sorry if I'm a bit skeptical.

He's got a pretty good roster of women. That's cool. He's divorced... single or whatever. Hopefully he is keeping things professional. But for me I wouldn't buy "packages" and/or be forced to use agency lodging.

In staying consistent with what I always say if you want to use an agency... go in and set a price per meeting... and if/when they deliver... pay them.

Jaime may take more heat than he probably deserves, but there is no such thing as bad publicity. It is exactly why he's here. He's promoting a business so the more you talk about him the better.

Hopefully that answered your question researcher. The issue for me would be with any single male agency owner in Colombia.

[Researcher]

I'm going to give Jamie credit for putting himself out there on the firing line, and continuing to come here to interact.

I am the guy who was married for 11 years and now divorced.  This certainly does not make me an expert on Colombian American marriage/relationships.  Although I do have some strong advice for those of you in a relationship or married to one of these girls.  LEARN SPANISH NOW, while you have a private instructor.  My ex wife is very intelligent, and is now completely fluent in English with barely an accent.  As her English got better, I got lazy with my Spanish, and that is my only regret period.  I can speak enough spanish to go out on dates without a translator, but it's been a challenge to start speaking again.  Those of you married to a Colombian girl may also find themselves down the road back on the dating scene down here, and it sure makes life easier, and more fun with the ability to speak Spanish.

This has been an interesting thread, and I guess there are some fundamental principals you can apply to avoid some of the risk, but as you guys already know, the girls are all different.  I get to know each one on an individual basis, and try not to generalize, and keep preconceptions to a minimum.

My personal situation is allowing me to live down here for a while, so that has taken a lot of the pressure off of making perfect decisions.  I have the time to make some mistakes, and just enjoy a girl’s company without worrying about having to catch a plane.  When in the company of a pretty Colombian Girl, my judgment is suspect at best.

Jamie has done a nice job for me, and he adjusts his style and plans to suit yours.  This has been especially nice in my case because since I’m in no real hurry,  I’ve been moving at a turtle’s pace.

One other little bit of advice is to get a cell phone as soon as you get down here.  You can get a cheap one, and just buy minutes.  Then you can send and receive text messages, and use google translation for help if you get stuck.  Texting has been a lot of fun.

I find some of the arguing that goes on here quite amusing at times because it all seems very simple to me.  Once you are spoiled and have been with a Colombian girl,  you’re not going to be able to go back to the other side, so you may as well accept it and make the best of the situation.

Soon after my ex came to the US, the relationship became just like most relationships, and the fact that she was from Colombia really didn't make much difference.  Just two people learning to get along and live together on a daily basis.  Our story just isn't that facinating because there just isn't much drama.  She's a great person, who decided that she didn't want children, and I really started to want a child.

   Good post JWR, welcome to the board.

  Researcher

[Researcher]

  bcc, those are some good points.I can see where problems could arise if there is a single agency owner.I have to admit if I was a single agency owner it would be tempting to play around.It would probably hurt my business though, especially if I played around to the point of ignoring my clients.

  Some guys just aren't into using an introduction agency but it has worked for many guys.When it comes to meeting and dating many women in a short amount of time an agency is the way to go.I never really wanted or expected much help from an agency.After all, if things didn't work out with a woman I chose myself and the woman would be the one most affected not the agency.

  Researcher

[bcc_1_2]

  bcc, those are some good points.I can see where problems could arise if there is a single agency owner.I have to admit if I was a single agency owner it would be tempting to play around.

It is just human nature. You are single... you have access to a lot of women. In some way shape or form you'll take advantage of that situation. The only question is to what degree.

When it comes to meeting and dating many women in a short amount of time an agency is the way to go.

Yea, I don't really disagree, but I do find myself always trying to put a statement like this in its place.

IMO, when it comes to meeting and dating many women in a short amount of time an agency is ONE way to go. Clubs, bars, malls, grocery stores, cafes, anywhere around a college, etc. The list goes on.

Actually there are better options than an agency IMO. The best option I can think of would be to figure out where the english teachers hang. Befriend one of them and volunteer to come in and help on some class activity. You'll get introduced to a class full of (many) women about every hour that are learning english.

[Researcher]

  Those are all good suggestions bcc.I stayed at an agency once for 3 months.While I was there I met women in many different places.That isn't a problem if you have plenty of time to network and learn the area.I remember my first trip to Cali where I used an agency.I was there 7 days, met too many women to remember and ended up going out on dates with 9 different women.Now that was a bit of "overload" for me.I had the "kid in a candy store" syndrome before I left but I doubt I could have met as many women or dated as many as I did if I had not went through that agency.

  I have always ventured out to meet women on my own, even when I was using an agency. Its always best to have a backup plan if the agency doesn't deliver.Otherwise you can hop on a plane and be meeting babes as soon as you arrive.


  Researcher  

[celia99]

At this time in my life and in these economic times, I would much rather make a mistake and go our separate ways exactly like I did, rather than get married, probably divorced, maybe bring children into the situation, etc.

At this time after the smoke has cleared everyone is fine without any "damage" done to anyone. Other than my wallet being a little lighter. But nothing compared to a divorce or 18 years of child support.

Very insightful and accurate statement, many more of us should be thinking in these terms ..

[piglett]

i myself think AB did the rite thing even though he did get his teath kicken in on this board


pig

[JamesDonut]

Whatever it takes, it wasn't enough if you end up like these guys: I didn't know my wife didn't graduate from high school. I didn't know my wife couldn't learn English. I didn't know she had worms..

Worms??  I'd like to hear that story Jaime.  Overall the article seems like pretty good advice.  I just don't know how you could get married and not really "know" or be able to communicate with the person.        

[CeeTeeEnn]

After a period of absence from P-L, i recently came across this post and subsequently read Jamie's recent essay "Understanding Colombian Women" on his International Introductions website.

I admit I have read many cutting diatribes against Colombianas here on P-L. I will also admit that my own words here about Colombianas, based on my own personal experiences, have seldom been rosy. But what I read on the International Introductions site simply made the hair stand on the back of my neck and put a chill down my spine - both for its brazen candour and its remorselessly depressing content.

I must say I admire this coming from a businessman; Gerald Ratner's infamous outbursts seem to pale by comparison. I almost imagine these words as coming from the captain of a doomed ship. But whatever the true reason for their publication may be, I can honestly say have never read a more persuasive article for single Western guys to *avoid* Colombia and its women at all costs. This essay stands like a lighthouse, guiding Western men to seek out their partners in Asia, Russia, Eastern Europe, or even the domestic scene with all of the Western women that so many guys wish to avoid in the first place!

I sign off by recommending to any newbie on P-L, who may have unanswered questions as to whether he should travel to Colombia in search of a partner, to read, study and consider the implications of Jamie's article in full and without any hesitation or favour. And if he still wishes to travel to Colombia in pursuit of his dreams, I sincerely recommend him to visit a relationship counsellor or qualified psychiatrist before buying any plane tickets.

No further comment.

[z_k_g]

LOL,   

Zulu

[JimD]

Ceeteeenn, crazy isn´t it? Guy moved to a country that he hates for it´s "backwardness" and tries to sell women who he publicly  denegrates and distrusts to fellow American. But hey everbody´s got to make a living.

[fathertime]

I sign off by recommending to any newbie on P-L, who may have unanswered questions as to whether he should travel to Colombia in search of a partner, to read, study and consider the implications of Jamie's article in full and without any hesitation or favour. And if he still wishes to travel to Colombia in pursuit of his dreams, I sincerely recommend him to visit a relationship counsellor or qualified psychiatrist before buying any plane tickets.

No further comment.

Most of those frightened off by Jamie's disclaimers would not do well in Colombia anyway.  That is why those of us that go to Colombia despite the risks and potential pitfalls are rewarded so handsomely!   

You should travel where you feel comfy but try not to be so frightened about a country whose women you know so little about.

Fathertime!

[Jamie]

After a period of absence from P-L, i recently came across this post and subsequently read Jamie's recent essay "Understanding Colombian Women" on his International Introductions website.

I admit I have read many cutting diatribes against Colombianas here on P-L. I will also admit that my own words here about Colombianas, based on my own personal experiences, have seldom been rosy. But what I read on the International Introductions site simply made the hair stand on the back of my neck and put a chill down my spine - both for its brazen candour and its remorselessly depressing content.

I must say I admire this coming from a businessman; Gerald Ratner's infamous outbursts seem to pale by comparison. I almost imagine these words as coming from the captain of a doomed ship. But whatever the true reason for their publication may be, I can honestly say have never read a more persuasive article for single Western guys to *avoid* Colombia and its women at all costs. This essay stands like a lighthouse, guiding Western men to seek out their partners in Asia, Russia, Eastern Europe, or even the domestic scene with all of the Western women that so many guys wish to avoid in the first place!

I sign off by recommending to any newbie on P-L, who may have unanswered questions as to whether he should travel to Colombia in search of a partner, to read, study and consider the implications of Jamie's article in full and without any hesitation or favour. And if he still wishes to travel to Colombia in pursuit of his dreams, I sincerely recommend him to visit a relationship counsellor or qualified psychiatrist before buying any plane tickets.

No further comment.

Thanks for the comments; however you are leaving out an important aspect. I state why I am providing this information and that the rewards are there despite my highlighted negatives:

"From these observations you will have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes I and others have made during our search for foreign brides. While there is no bump-free path to love, there are established methods to accomplish the goal of finding an exceptional foreign bride. What you are about to learn no international matchmaking site will tell you. It's strong, direct, provoking, and it may even scare you away, but in the end you will see why it shouldn't. We enlighten you to the realities of foreign women and international dating, so that you can better manage and function in a different cultural environment."

"Colombia is not a country of angels where American men should trend alone. Most Colombian women would not be suitable for you. However, even with the elimination of many there is still bounty to be found. If you select a foreign bride who can think and progress from your teachings and patience, you can live with their limitations, which will become smaller and smaller over time. A good man with clear objectives of what he wants can find a foreign bride with the kind of attributes most men would not be able to find domestically."

You state you have not had a rosy experience with Colombian women, so I suspect this has tarnished your outlook, which is why you missed the positive illumination I mentioned. If you like to share, you most likely made one or more of the mistakes I listed. The idea is to know your environment, know the mistakes others have made so you can avoid them, and have the right plan and support to improve your odds of finding what you are looking for.

[Jamie]

Ceeteeenn, crazy isn´t it? Guy moved to a country that he hates for it´s "backwardness" and tries to sell women who he publicly  denegrates and distrusts to fellow American. But hey everbody´s got to make a living.

We can always count on a backward inane comment from you short on truth.

Number 1. I have never stated I hate Colombia. There are very few things I hate in life and Colombia is not one of them.

Number 2. You have backwardness in quotes as if I used this exact terminology, which I have never have used. I’ll give you the benefit of doubt and assume you just don’t understand how to use quotation marks.

Number 3. You have had almost 7 weeks to comment on any material I wrote that you found to be wrong regarding Colombian women, but during these 7 weeks you have not disputed one thing. Please tell us what you found to be incorrect?

Number 4. The transaction of selling is a very simple concept (possibly even for you). Please explain to the board how I am selling women. Now you have used marriage agencies in the past, does that mean you were trying to buy a woman?

Now a rat would simply scurry off and hide (yes you do conceal who you are), but you are not a rat are you JimD, so the board can expect a response to my questions.

[Zon]

I could have written most of the things Jamie has written in his site - indeed, I have said damn near the same thing here on many occasions.  But, I have also acknowledged the positives.  I love Colombia for many reasons; however, that does not require me to turn a blind eye to the many things that are negative.

JimD - your comments suggest that you require a world that functions in absolutes.  The USA is not that way, Colombia is even less so.

[JimD]

Noted Zon. I will review my requirements.