The Mistakes Men Make with Foreign Women

[raycjs]

when i met and started dating my first girl from Colombia who i met thru Jamie' s agency, i sat with him one night for a few hours and in so many words he told me not to rush in to it with this one(Lina) and i was blind along with a few others from this board who i shared my issues with at the time and they also told me to move on.. i did not listen to the advice of Jamie or the others. I had to learn the hard way... this just goes to show no matter what Jamie situation at that time or now.. his advice was correct and i did not listen... the biggest thing i see with anyone giving advice is they have the opportunity to step back and look at the situation from the outside in..this is differnet then the person or people in the middle. they can listen and see with there own eyes and ears that there are 2 sides to ever story and this allows them to make a better judgement call. So as far a Jamie goes he was 100% dead on with the advice he game me from what he saw face to face and i did not listen... i believe at the time he was having some issues of his own and that did not effect his judgement call to me so i have to say his advice is very creditable then and now. I have sat back and read a lot and posted a lot on this board and after almost 3 years i truly believe i now have gotten it right... just like researcher you could not get my girl to step foot in a casino. i now live in OH due to work where before i was in south Florida(little Latin America) and her and i stand out like a sore thump wherever we go in and around OHIO. Finally after a year of being together in this small town people all respect her and i and understand us.As far as Jaime's quotes about women in Colombia i believe they are more in line with women from BAQ then some of the other big cities. MY girl is a 100% Colombian and from BAQ and very proud of it and i love that type of women now more then ever..



once again this is only my opinion

Ray

[Jamie]

Regarding 'The Mistakes Men make', etc- I think it's a worthwhile read for pretty much anybody here and interesting in that it most certainly doesn't sugar coat some of the ugly realities of the, shall we say: 'situation' down there.

The insights as given, seem to portray the mental--psychological state of most women there and the overall culture, in a less than flattering way.

Seeing how most agencies would rather present more of a make believe version of Shangri-La that a lot of guys are all too anxious to believe, reading this might raise some eyebrows and open the eyes a bit.

Sure it presents a case to use Jamie's agency and some might question it on that and under estimate the merits of insights given, but it certainly provides some helpful food for thought about not just Colombia, but for dating any women, especially women from third world countries. 

It certainly shows how doing your homework, referencing here and elsewhere can hugely effect your outcome.

And for all you lurkers out there--come on out of the darkness!--What are you afraid of--that Ray's gonna bite you?

Kudos to P-L for allowing a link in the initial post to allow members access.

Thanks for the comments. Yes, the focus is on the negative, however if I were to write a similar piece on the men that come to Colombia and showed it to the women none of them would want to meet foreign men. There have been many men here who have been to Colombia many times and have presented a generally negative portrayal of the gringos that they have met in Colombia. I have never commented about this because it served no purpose to agree with them and provide my own examples. But the reality is you have a high number of deceptive men that visit Colombia. They lie about their martial status, they hide medical problems from the women, they make commitments and marriage proposals to multiple women, they use prostitutes while claiming to be looking for a wife, they hit on my wife and girl friends, they pay my employees to steal from me or compete against me, or they don’t know how to socialize with women who afterwards complain or want off the website based on the bad experience with the men. While many of my clients are good men, many go to Colombia on a guise or have negative personal issues.

[fathertime]

With all do respect Father time I did answer it many times. I said his advise holds no water with me because he does not follow his own counsel. Your yardstick to Judge a man may be different then mine. I Judge a man by his actions not his words. Show me what you've done. His words though many need to be backed up with action, his actions, his life. He must walk the talk.

As I said earlier, it sounds to me like you agree with everything Jamie has said.  

I don't subscribe to your point of view.  I have received good snippets of advise from many people who have gone nowhere with Latina wives.

Fathertime!

[Jamie]

Hide from you? not interested in posting my identity to an open board and to someone who I have no connection, interest, care, or concern. Let's me guess AB used your agency? So of course you have no interest in defending him. LOL Really now!

I would have a natural bias to clients and friends like everyone else. However, if I thought he was wrong I would not say anything, but I didn’t think he was wrong which is why I commented. I would have defended any man in his position.

 

But tell us about you Jamie? Do you practice what you preach.

I do practice what I preach, if you have any evidence that I do not please tell us. As for who I am that is not a secret. Many men here have interacted with me on a business and personal level and know my status. I am not interesting enough for my personal life to be of any interest to an audience, but I have no problem satisfying your inquiry even though you choose not to do the same.
 

How long have you been married?

I have been married for a little over 7 years and we separated this July, but we have had multiple separations in the past and I should not have bothered trying to get back together the last couple of times, which only damaged better relations I was in. Now you believe that if a man does not keep a wife his advice on how to find a long-term wife is invalid. I indicated on my webpage that I am also sharing my mistakes so others can learn and maybe not repeat. Seeking a divorce from my wife does not minimize anything I have written. I am writing based on my experience and from the experience of others. As for everything I write, I leave it to the reader to determine if the content is of value or not. I am not the stamp of approval they are.

 

Tell us how all the knowledge you have gained has given you that diamond of a women?

I have had many diamonds. My outlook on women is probably different than most. Number one I have no problems with American women and have been very fortunate to have had many good, fun relationships. I have never had problems getting good looking women in the States, so having pretty women has never been a big deal to me. When I am with an attractive interesting woman and she gives me a day of her time, I feel I got more than I deserved, and I am happy with that. If she gives me another day I feel even luckier, and any days beyond that is extra and still more than I deserve. When such relationships end, and they always end at my calling, I feel fortunate that this person allowed me in their life whether it was for 6 months, 2 years, or 7 years. The time I spent with these women has many more positives than negatives or it ends, and I don’t find it a negative to be with a new woman. At any time a man or woman wants to end a relationship and for whatever reason I find that to be ok. I don’t hold anyone to me and they may go a different direction at any time if they like, as I have done. For me, I do not find the end of a relationship to be a bad thing, but another opportunity for a different experience. I don’t judge the length of time as being a barometer for success, yet I can understand why others would. I still have a good relationship with every woman I have had a past relationship with and I value the friendship of women highly. So, I would say my experience with women in general is far above average and my time with Colombian women to be sufficient to give me more knowledge than most on this topic. What Colombia allows is for a man living here to get the same age woman he was getting in his 20’s even though he may be in his 50’s. So I lead a different life than most American can lead. I don’t preach my style of living to anyone. I don’t care what anyone may think of my style of living, and it mean nothing to me if someone felt my opinion and advice is wrong. I don’t feel bad about someone feeling I am not creditable. The information is there to use or not. I feel I did my part. I do want to be truthful, and I do want to help, and I want every man to find success, but I don’t lose sleep based on what others may believe. So now that you know more about me, please explain how what I shared would be “impractical” as you state based on who I am?

Words show the wit of a man, but actions his meaning. If you can tell me that all the knowledge you have gained has given you a long lasting successful relationship/marriage then I will take credence in what you say but if your out there looking of healing from a broken relationship then your just like the rest of us and your knowledge is impractical because even you can't apply it.

It doesn’t matter what good steps a person takes in finding a good partner there will never be any guarantees to the length or quality of that relationship. That doesn’t mean the advise or method they used was flawed. Things and people change. Knowledge is impractical based on the content to the user’s needs not the source. For some, success is a lifetime marriage and for others it can be measured in much shorter durations. I have a client here now who was married to a Colombian for 9 years he feels his relationship was good, but had run its course and is now looking again. I feel successful to have been with a variety of women in my life as long as I have been and I have no regrets regarding the women I have been with.

[Jamie]

Jamie, About the only thing I may disagree with you on is your characterization of the negative traits of Colombian women.I can pretty much agree this is the case for women from some areas of Colombia but not all, such as Bogota.The women there seem to be more educated and "go getters" than other places.Do you think your characterization is based more on women fromBQ? Researcher

Yes, one can say that. I personally feel it would apply to Colombians in general, but possibly less so as you state in other cities. I do have some experience with women from other parts of Colombia, but I would defer to other men who would have more knowledge of this than me.

I was watching a stupid reality show and a woman from Barranquilla was selected as one of two people to be eliminated. She got very mad and was throw and banging things and even though she was being watch by all of Colombia she would be picking her nose, scratching her ass and doing things out in the open she should be doing in the bathroom. And the opinion I was hearing from some of the women in Barranquilla was that the woman was embarrassing the people of Barranquilla and was a disgrace. Now can you imagine being from a state and some man from your state was exhibiting foul behavior on TV and you feeling ashamed of his behavior because he comes from where you live? You wouldn’t have such feelings, but Colombians do. Colombians have such pride that I feel they exaggerate the regional differences.

[fathertime]

I'm not too sure how much I buy into the Casino blackjack option though!

I remember that night when we all went out together and my woman was absolutely disinterested in blackjack.  I don't think I was able to get her to make any decisions regarding the cards, because she was rather uncomfortable in that environment.  Turns out she is an excellent wife though despite her utter lack of skill/interest in Blackjack!

The one thing I was able to glean from the experience was she didn't want to touch my money, even when I seated her at the table and stood over her.  I guess I could have drawn some conclusions from that, and as it turns out they still hold true today.  She is utterly disinterested in handling our money, which is fine with me.

Fathertime!

[whitey]

FT
she is from Colombia......
she is from BAQ......
December we will be living together 1 year

Congrats Ray!  Glad you've found yourself a good woman.  Barranquilleras are the best ... hahaha!

How did you meet?  Sounds like it was in the US, and not in Quilla?

[Researcher]

I'm not too sure how much I buy into the Casino blackjack option though!

I remember that night when we all went out together and my woman was absolutely disinterested in blackjack.  I don't think I was able to get her to make any decisions regarding the cards, because she was rather uncomfortable in that environment.  Turns out she is an excellent wife though despite her utter lack of skill/interest in Blackjack!

The one thing I was able to glean from the experience was she didn't want to touch my money, even when I seated her at the table and stood over her.  I guess I could have drawn some conclusions from that, and as it turns out they still hold true today.  She is utterly disinterested in handling our money, which is fine with me.

Fathertime!

  Same here FatherTime.My wife isn't that interested in handling our finances even though she is working now and contributing.It was easy for me to see her attitude toward money because when she was in Colombia she managed the household finances for her and her family.The father was gone and she is the oldest so she took over that responsibility as well as being a main provider for the family.She is extremely frugal and knows the value of a dollar so I think I got lucky on that one.Around our house she is the one that is always turning off lights to save energy and she always compares prices and looks for bargains.I may not have taken her to a casino but I feel like I hit the jackpot!


   Researcher

[mudd]

There have been many men here who have been to Colombia many times and have presented a generally negative portrayal of the gringos that they have met in Colombia. I have never commented about this because it served no purpose to agree with them and provide my own examples. But the reality is you have a high number of deceptive men that visit Colombia. They lie about their martial status, they hide medical problems from the women, they make commitments and marriage proposals to multiple women, they use prostitutes while claiming to be looking for a wife

boy, isn't that the truth, i have seen so many gringos in Colombia, lie about being married, having a girlfriend in USA, telling some poor girl " lets get engaged" just so they could get her into bed, and then 2 weeks later, the girl never hears from him again. even saw one guy in an agency, give an engagement ring to a girl, 2 days later, meeting  other girls for dates, and you wonder why gringos don't have the best reputation in Colombia any more 

and the gringos who live in medellin, wowwwwwwwwww i wont go there 

[Zon]

"boy, isn't that the truth, i have seen so many gringos in Colombia, lie about being married, having a girlfriend in USA, telling some poor girl " lets get engaged" just so they could get her into bed, and then 2 weeks later, the girl never hears from him again. even saw one guy in an agency, give an engagement ring to a girl, 2 days later, meeting  other girls for dates, and you wonder why gringos don't have the best reputation in Colombia any more  Undecided"

DOUBLE DITTO!

I would like to add a little editorial on what Jamie did, but did not HAVE to do when he posted about his personal experience and philosophy  upthread. Our personal lives are different from our avatars.  Our REAL reputations among those who meet us in REAL life differs remarkably from that which is discerned in these internet pages.  All too often these posts become minimized by sharp exchanges in OPINIONS, or values that does not serve the group.  Discussion Forums are best when they serve the libertarian view that all opinions ought to be tolerated and that the greatest amount of human experimentation ought to be encouraged, so that the greatest overall good and happiness may be found.

I have never met Jamie personally, but I see NO compromise or deflation of his service or reputation from that which has been posted by others.  He seems to be a straight shooter and sees himself in an honest light, and others too.

[Researcher]

   This notion of "considering the source" when it comes to advice is over rated.The "learning piano" example given earlier proves it.I studied music and play the guitar.I have had many teachers who played well but not all that play well are good teachers, I'd say many aren't.I know several people that play by ear and can't teach me a thing about music theory because they don't know it themselves.
    It's the same as someone who would be considered "successful" when it comes to marrying a foreign woman.Mere success means nothing if you don't consider how they got there.Some guys just get lucky and end up with the right woman while there are those of us that found out what works from experience.
   But advice is just advice, you don't have to take it.I like to hear different opinions whether I agree or not.When it comes to advice I like to use Bruce Lee's philosophy:Take what you can use and leave the rest.

  Researcher   

[Gato4Astrid]

Mudd

boy, isn't that the truth, i have seen so many gringos in Colombia, lie about being married, having a girlfriend in USA, telling some poor girl " lets get engaged" just so they could get her into bed, and then 2 weeks later, the girl never hears from him again. even saw one guy in an agency, give an engagement ring to a girl, 2 days later, meeting  other girls for dates, and you wonder why gringos don't have the best reputation in Colombia any more  

and the gringos who live in medellin, wowwwwwwwwww i wont go there  

British do not count as gringos, but I have seen a Brit (you know who) went to BAQ to Jamie's agency, but slept with prostitutes while looking for a wife at the same time.   He was disapoointed not to have his 'date' into bed in the 1st few days, so he went to prostitutes instead ....

[Gato4Astrid]

  Those are good points Gato but when you are only writing someone you don't get what someone is like completely, only what they want you to know.Writing is a good way to keep in contact with someone but I wouldn't rely on it completely.

  I would rather spend thousands on travelling in the beginning than several more thousands later in a divorce.

  Researcher

Men have spend thousands on travelling and also spend several more thousands later in a divorce, while men haven't spend too much on travelling (letters) and still in marriage.

[Researcher]

Men have spend thousands on travelling and also spend several more thousands later in a divorce, while men haven't spend too much on travelling (letters) and still in marriage.

   But how common is each circumstance?

  There is no guarantee that one will stay married no matter what they do.I think a guy should do what he can to reduce the risk of ending up with a woman who is going to,lets say, hit him in the head with a frying pan and take his money!

  Researcher

[fathertime]

  There is no guarantee that one will stay married no matter what they do.I think a guy should do what he can to reduce the risk of ending up with a woman who is going to,lets say, hit him in the head with a frying pan and take his money!

  Researcher

Hehe! Yeah we all know one of those guys that takes the frying pan to the head! 

Regarding writing prior to visiting:  For me, a few weeks prior to my visits I would write a few of the gals an email and try to set something up with the webcam.  I thought that was worthwhile.  The gals knew I was coming very soon and some were flaky while others were dedicated.  As it turns out, nobody was more dedicated than my wife.  She was always on the computer at the specified time sometimes wearing one of those skimpy sexy barranquilla PJ's that made my weewee stand on end!  I couldn't get to Baq quick enough after webcamming with her for a few weeks!

Fathertime!

[robert angel]

I don't know why EE seems to have something personal against Jamie--there seems to some agenda--a bone to pick, so to speak.

Personally, I'd prefer advice from someone who's taken a few lumps here and there and knows the ups and downs and how to learn from them w/o being bitter for the experience and as a result poisoning future relationships.

While I wouldn't consider a divorce or even a relationship that's failed a 'success' by any means, I would like to think that we can learn from the painful experiences while fondly remembering the best of times that probably came with the same relationships.

I'd rather remember the honey moon than the divorce, without forgetting either one.

You never know how low you can go until you've been pretty high up on life and seen it go to crap.

Aside from 'match making sites' and the people who run them, often the best doctors, shrinks and preachers--people who healed and helped a lot of other folks, were profoundly screwed up people with highly dysfunctional families.

I know, because when I was a real hell raiser, their sons were the only kids I knew who were wilder than me!  All I can say is thank God for the statute of limitations on most offenses!

Show me someone who seems 'perfect' and I'll show you somebody who's perfectly boring!

[obyjuan]

Ray's girl is a 10...very fun, spirited, sweet, classy, bright, and stunning...A great person!

Ray, you're a great guy and deserve the best!!

Toby

FT

Come on Ray, you gotta spill your guts on what is going on now with this new woman!
Is she Colombian? Who? How? Where? etc!!!

FT
she is from Colombia......
she is from BAQ......
December we will be living together 1 year


our good mutual friend has met her and he approves... HaHaHa
she is a great women and a major asset to my life
we are taking it slow ( not married yet)
we get along great and she is everything i every wanted in a women
i met her thru Jamie's and if all goes well we will marry sooner then later...

if you want to know more pm me and i will talk to you off the board via private email

talk to you soon.

ray

Back to the topic.. i have made mistakes and i feel i can give advice because that is all it is ADVICE. no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. I can give advice on the mistakes i made and how i learned from them. i have to agree with Jamie on this one his advice is very good and so our some of the points the other have come back with.... i would hope this topic keeps going strong and does not end up as a flame...

Ray

[robert angel]

Re:

>>There have been many men here who have been to Colombia many times and have presented a generally negative portrayal of the gringos that they have met in Colombia. I have never commented about this because it served no purpose to agree with them and provide my own examples. But the reality is you have a high number of deceptive men that visit Colombia. They lie about their martial status, they hide medical problems from the women, they make commitments and marriage proposals to multiple women, they use prostitutes while claiming to be looking for a wife<<

                                                             &

>>boy, isn't that the truth, i have seen so many gringos in Colombia, lie about being married, having a girlfriend in USA, telling some poor girl " lets get engaged" just so they could get her into bed, and then 2 weeks later, the girl never hears from him again. even saw one guy in an agency, give an engagement ring to a girl, 2 days later, meeting  other girls for dates, and you wonder why gringos don't have the best reputation in Colombia any more 

and the gringos who live in medellin, wowwwwwwwwww i wont go there<<


I have to say that a lot of the foreign guys I met in the Philippines were real low lifes too--'players' looking for fun and games, while pretending to look for a pretty young wife and instead leaving a lot of tears, heart break and in some cases, children who'll never meet their fathers.

I'd venture a guess that it's like that in other countries as well and it only increases the amount and intensity of some women back there who become more than willing to scam guys back.
 
 
 

[raycjs]

Toby

Thank you very much for the kind words, i hope all is well, call me sometime my number has not changed.... if not i will try you....


thank you again...

Ray

[Researcher]

Ray, you're a great guy and deserve the best!!

  Ditto

[raycjs]

thank you for the Complements


Ray

[bcc_1_2]

Your article is very good, excellently written, with important information and incite. But tell us about you Jamie? Do you practice what you preach. How long have you been married?

Just because you are getting teamed up on a little let me say I agree with you on this. I don't know who you are, but you are not the first to question this agency owner on this. Pics of his (former) wife were plastered on his website at one time. In this business his personal life is fair game. He'll dodge these questions, but regardless of your motives those questions above have merit.

And as Dan has mentioned Jamie also will draw critics or at least questions because of his profit motive in this. By writing this negative piece what does it accomplish for him? Surely it is not to keep single men from traveling down. Maybe it is to instill the belief that if and when they come down... they'll definitely need him to sort these Colombian women out.

What I can tell you is an agency will have a MICROSCOPIC portion of the available chica population of a city signed up. While agenices offer a service... you don't absolutely need any agency. In fact if you only pursue women in agencies you heavily restrict your options. Pursue all avenues I say.

With most agencies you can arrange a pay per meeting price. With Jamie's agency it gets a little more complicated and expensive. Up to you

[Researcher]

Just because you are getting teamed up on a little let me say I agree with you on this. I don't know who you are, but you are not the first to question this agency owner on this. Pics of his (former) wife were plastered on his website at one time. In this business his personal life is fair game. He'll dodge these questions, but regardless of your motives those questions above have merit.

And as Dan has mentioned Jamie also will draw critics or at least questions because of his profit motive in this. By writing this negative piece what does it accomplish for him? Surely it is not to keep single men from traveling down. Maybe it is to instill the belief that if and when they come down... they'll definitely need him to sort these Colombian women out.

What I can tell you is an agency will have a MICROSCOPIC portion of the available chica population of a city signed up. While agenices offer a service... you don't absolutely need any agency. In fact if you only pursue women in agencies you heavily restrict your options. Pursue all avenues I say.

With most agencies you can arrange a pay per meeting price. With Jamie's agency it gets a little more complicated and expensive. Up to you

   I disagree with some of what you wrote here bcc.I do think you will answer a question and not slink away.So let me ask what does an agency owner's personal life have to do with a guy successfully finding a good woman?

  My point is that, for example, I am a grown man and can make decisions for myself.Maybe I can even learn from someone else, successful or not.The owner of the HUGE multinational company I work for says that he learned more from his failures than from his successes.Now he is one of the richest men in the world.When it comes to getting rich I would listen to him rather than a lotto winner.What can you learn from someone that just gets lucky?

   I do agree with you that a guy should use every venue.

   If you answer this(I think you will) I challenge you to answer without mentioning Jamie.He's been the whipping boy for agency owners here for a while.

   Researcher

[Zon]

Chiming in ...

I do not think his marital status is important for him to discharge his services excellently.  His personal habits that are on exhibit while he is delivery services (personality; social manners); his intentions; his integrity; the amount he cares / does not care for his clients - that is a different matter. 

Profit motive?  These things tend to make little money, and are a giant pain in the butt.  Sure, there is a profit motive; thus buyer beware ... but anyone that studies this stuff a little can begin to see through the promo BS.

Bottom Line - Learn Spanish (if you have not already).

[Researcher]

  I agree Zon.The delivery of service is more important than an agency owner's personal life.I met my wife through an agency and the owner was single at the time.He still seemed to know alot about Colombian women.I never expected an agency owner to find me a life long partner anyway.Reason 1: why would I want a stranger to "find me a wife"? Reason 2: that is a bit much to ask of anyone! (finding  someone a life partner)

   Researcher