Filipna not in the Philippines

[Godzilla]

I have been talking to a Filipina who is living in Trinidad and Tobago. She was lured there by a phony job offer etc. I have been talking with her for a while now. This after it did not work out with the other lady I was talking to. But that's a different story.

My main question is, if this proceeds and we get together, would she have to return to the Philippines for the embassy interview, medical exam and classes etc.? Has anybody had any experience with this type of situation or heard about anything like it. I am just wondering what the process would be like and how much more time.

As always I am grateful for the help of the community here.

[william3rd]

The answer depends over her status in T & T. There is no obligation for a consulate to handle a case for a person from a third country. The consulate of residence is best equipped to handle the nationals of that country. However, if I recall, your lawful marriage to her in that country makes that country the country to handle her k3 visa. 

[Ray]

Zilla,

As William mentioned, IF she is legally in the country with a valid visa, then she could apply for a spousal visa and probably a fiancée visa through the US Embassy in Port of Spain. It “might” even be faster to process a visa over there as opposed to Manila where there is always a backlog.

HOWEVER COMMA, I would be very careful before getting involved too deeply.

There are many questions that I would ask. What do you mean by “lured there by a ‘phony’ job offer”? Who “lured her”? What was the supposed job offer? Who footed the bill for her transportation and paperwork? Did she pay an agency? Was this an “entertainment industry” job? What is she doing for income there now? How long has she been there? Whom does she live with? etc…

If you should happen to go there to visit her, I would keep your eyes wide open, examine her passport carefully, and verify her status.

Even if a visa was processed in a country other than the Philippines, she would still need documents from home, police clearances, etc. Medical exams would be handled in the country where the visa is processed and the CFO seminar would not apply if she is overseas already.

Overall, I would feel more comfortable meeting her and her family in the Philippines and doing the visa process there should you ever get serious.

Ray

[Godzilla]

The job was singing and  I believe the guy who tried to make her a prostitute against her will paid the airfare. She is staying with the couple who befriended her on the plane to Tobago and they are the ones who warned her what might be happening. She says she has not been able to contact her family to let them know what happened to her and that she would be ashamed to tell them the truth. According to her they have allowed her to stay in the country with extensions because she can not afford to get back home of course. I know there are many questionable, dare I say it red flags, but after talking to her for a while I think I believe her about how she wound up there. Unlike most scammer's she can remember quickly what we have talked about and has not been quick by any means to profess her feelings for me. She has been there for a year and a half. She is legitimate about being a singer. I did a Google search and found a Youtube video of her performing in Trinidad that she was not even aware of until I told her. So she did beleive that she could have a career as a singer and she is actually quite good.

I wonder about having to return to the Philippines, that will add a large chunk to the travel budget. I would have to go to Tobago to meet her. Another question is would I also need to go to the Philippines after she returns to show a passport stamp and airline tickets there if that is where the paperwork is processed. A complicated situation but a very nice lady.

Thanks for chiming in everyone. If there are any immigration experts out there Ii would appreciate hearing from you.

Godzilla

[Ray]

Zilla,

The story about the singing job scam could be true.

But if she could contact you, then she could contact her family IF she really wanted to. It might cost her 2 or 3 dollars to call.

And if she really wanted to go home, all she would need to do is to go to the Philippine Embassy and they would help her get home at their expense.

No, if you wanted to do a fiancée visa through Manila, you would not need to travel to the Philippines, but only show proof of meeting in person somewhere in the world.

I would be VERY careful here!

Ray

[william3rd]

The job was singing and  I believe the guy who tried to make her a prostitute against her will paid the airfare. She is staying with the couple who befriended her on the plane to Tobago and they are the ones who warned her what might be happening. She says she has not been able to contact her family to let them know what happened to her and that she would be ashamed to tell them the truth. According to her they have allowed her to stay in the country with extensions because she can not afford to get back home of course. I know there are many questionable, dare I say it red flags, but after talking to her for a while I think I believe her about how she wound up there. Unlike most scammer's she can remember quickly what we have talked about and has not been quick by any means to profess her feelings for me. She has been there for a year and a half. She is legitimate about being a singer. I did a Google search and found a Youtube video of her performing in Trinidad that she was not even aware of until I told her. So she did beleive that she could have a career as a singer and she is actually quite good.

I wonder about having to return to the Philippines, that will add a large chunk to the travel budget. I would have to go to Tobago to meet her. Another question is would I also need to go to the Philippines after she returns to show a passport stamp and airline tickets there if that is where the paperwork is processed. A complicated situation but a very nice lady.

Thanks for chiming in everyone. If there are any immigration experts out there Ii would appreciate hearing from you.

Godzilla

I dont buy the story. . . There are too many problems with this story. Travels for a singing job, gets "almost" forced into prostitution by the sponsor, is then "allowed" to remain on a series of visa extensions, doesnt want to call her parents because of the shame yet jumps out there on the internet. Almost forced into prostitution?!?!?!?!?! And the visa extensions are because she a) sings pretty somewhere, b) is a hellova waitress c) T&T always extends the visa of trafficked women without visible means of support just because a local gives her a place to stay?

She needs to get out of Dodge, so to speak. Seems to me a serious guy like you would want to just run right out and wire her the airfare home. Or reveal your "white knight" tendencies and rescue this damsel in distress by bringing her to America .

I would pass on this one. 99.99% of the women out there dont have this kind of tear-jerking story or drama. And 99% of the women with this story are liars.  If you proceed, then use the "one lie" rule. Any inconsistency in her story and you should terminate her with extreme prejudice.

[piglett]

I dont buy the story. . . There are too many problems with this story. Travels for a singing job, gets "almost" forced into prostitution by the sponsor, is then "allowed" to remain on a series of visa extensions, doesnt want to call her parents because of the shame yet jumps out there on the internet. Almost forced into prostitution?!?!?!?!?! And the visa extensions are because she a) sings pretty somewhere, b) is a hellova waitress c) T&T always extends the visa of trafficked women without visible means of support just because a local gives her a place to stay?

She needs to get out of Dodge, so to speak. Seems to me a serious guy like you would want to just run right out and wire her the airfare home. Or reveal your "white knight" tendencies and rescue this damsel in distress by bringing her to America .

I would pass on this one. 99.99% of the women out there dont have this kind of tear-jerking story or drama. And 99% of the women with this story are liars.  If you proceed, then use the "one lie" rule. Any inconsistency in her story and you should terminate her with extreme prejudice.

these are all very good points Wiii has made ,so watch out Godzilla she may be pro scammer/user
or maybe it all is true???


pig

[Godzilla]

On the comment about her putting herself out there on the internet, she did not post the video, the video was posted by someone who videoed the event. She was no aware the video was on the internet, I found it by googling her name. Yes, I still have questions and I am proceeding carefully.

We had chatted about a way for her to have a phone. I did send her money to have a Vonage phone set up through her neighbor. I did this as a test of her honesty and if it worked we would have a U.S. number to talk with and if she was not truthful then I would hear a story about why it did not happen. I looked at this as a quick way to know if I was wasting my time and cheaper than an investigator or a busted trip to visit. The bottom line is 2 days later the phone appeared and we can now talk on the phone. I still at least see some yellow caution flags. If as was said she is a pro scammer then she is putting in a lot of time with me for very little return. There is always more than you can take the time to explain of your impressions of a developing relationship on a forum like this, but I have not committed anything to her exclusively and she is not professing her undying love to me or any other thing that you see from the scammers out there.

I just need to find out for future reference if I did visit her, and as was hinted at if we Married in Trinidad and Tobago if they would handle the immigration there. I do like to plan and have my facts straight ahead of time. And I do also appreciate the cautions and warnings posted here. I know it helps me and others keep our perspective when we are in that euphoria of a new relationship.

Many Thanks
Godzilla

[Jedironin]

I would suggest that if she has internet access, she should be able to send you a picture of herself holding a card with your name on it. Most of the scammers use pictures lifted from Facebook or a modeling web site, so this simple test is impossible for them. 
Enough people have digital cameras or cell-phone cameras now that this should be very easy for her to do.

Do you save your emails? If you've been talking/emailing her for a while, go back to much earlier messages and ask her similar questions again. Then compare the answers and see if they're the same or at least reasonably close. That's how I've caught a few scammers. Also watch for emails that are word-for-word identical to an earlier email. Many scammers use cut-and-paste scripts.

Stay cautious, but good luck! 

[ignorante]

Godzilla, is that a Dodge Charger in the background of the avatar photo?

[Godzilla]

Not sure if that is a charger or not. That is a picture of the Girl who is the subject of this thread. I have checked the emails she sent and the IP does originate in Trinidad and Tobago. But I am about to cut her loose anyway. Not for lying, but for not being forthcoming about things she should have told me without my having to ask after doing some investigating on the Internet and found out about her. Long story and not relevant. She hasn't lied and I have tested her but I have doubts.

 I have a new topic I am going to start, another immigration question about a lady I met  last night and like very much, but she has a situation also. I do seem to attract the interesting ones 

[piglett]

DUDE there are probably 20 M I L L I O N ladies in S.E. Asia that would love to be your next wife so why
are you looking to fix these trainwrecks?


piglett

[braziliangirl]

DUDE there are probably 20 M I L L I O N ladies in S.E. Asia that would love to be your next wife so why
are you looking to fix these trainwrecks?


piglett

the white knight syndrome??

seriously, godzilla... you don't have to go through that. find yourself a normal one. with 20 million it should not be that hard.

[Godzilla]

Okay, okay. Point taken  I do have a couple of ladies that I am talking to with no issues that I know of anyway. The  difficulty I have in finding a lady is being a driver and needing her to travel with me on the truck for a while like other drivers I have seen with pin ays. Also, because of that I am looking for someone with no children at present and I do not think I can have children myself. That last is t he part that makes it more difficult to find a pinay willing to start a friendship or maybe more in the future with me. And no, looks are not a primary consideration in my desires and wants for a lady. I do however suffer from the afore mentioned white knight syndrome.  i guess I will have to tie and gag that part of my personality and stuff him in the basement until my search is successful.

One of the good ones I have talked to lives in Zamboanga Sibugay, where all the travel warnings are, she says her town is safe. Any comments or experiences on that?

I had a good laugh reading your responses, and as always thanks for your experience
and your advice here. I do have a soft heart and try not to hurt any of these ladies
feelings. Will have to suck it up and be a bit more practical considering how important this is.

Thanks again for keeping me straight and my eyes open.

[piglett]

One of the good ones I have talked to lives in Zamboanga Sibugay, where all the travel warnings are, she says her town is safe. Any comments or experiences on that?

i would think Cbear who has a girlfriend in the south would have some info on this or maybe Dave


good luck
piglett

[Ray]

Piglett,

Personally, I wouldn't listen to ANYTHING that Cbear says. But Dave H is always a good source of excellent information.

IMO, Zamboanga is a "borderline area". I wouldn't automatically rule it out, but extra caution is advised in that part of the Philippines.

Ray

[robert angel]

My wife is from Mindanao and went to college in Davao City with some students from prominent families from Zamboanga and thereabouts. She certainly wouldn't want us going there---it's just too 'iffy' in terms of personal safety.

My wife and her family don't really come straight out and tell me me--"You're NOT going there--no way"--they just sort of have guided me around places and situations in other areas that otherwise might have potentially become a bit difficult--not likely, but possibly.

I used to wonder why her brothers would 'tag along' with us if I wanted to get out and 'stretch our legs' in some places.

But there's places like Zamboanga and Cotabato, to name just a couple, that they are pretty open about telling me straight out "You don't want to go there--NOT a good idea". I get mixed signals about Palawan--and that's a place I really want to go, to see for its beaches.

It's a shame, because I remember there being what seemed like some very nice potential wife material in those places.

And don't generalize it as a 'mean, hostile Muslim thing', because in Davao, Cebu and Manila, I have pretty much always had great experiences in dealing with Muslims in general and with Muslim merchants for sure. They'd bargain with me and if I wasn't happy with a purchase, even refund my money and gift me something for my 'trouble'--something not that common in the Philippines.

What was kind of funny was a few Muslim merchants who after I made sizable purchases, acted so enamored with me that they'd say things like --"You are my BEST friend for life now--you want anything--come back to see ME!". I laugh out loud even now, just thinking about it. I am sure I'd drop back to at least 'second best friend' status if I was no longer a paying customer, but that's business for you!

[Godzilla]

I guess to be specific, the city or village she lives in is Naga, and I think she said she works in Ipil??? About a hour away by jeepney every day. She said haer place was peaceful, but the travel advisories for what there worth don't get that specific.

[Dave H]

I guess to be specific, the city or village she lives in is Naga, and I think she said she works in Ipil??? About a hour away by jeepney every day. She said haer place was peaceful, but the travel advisories for what there worth don't get that specific.

Hey Godzilla,

My dog is also peaceful and doesn't bite...ME!   Unless you are Malay looking, you will stand out like a sore thumb! If you are new to the Philippines, you will probably be spending a lot of time taking in the sights (especially your lady!)   and not adequately watching your back. Once you have some time on the ground here in Mindanao, you will be better equipped to know when things are not quite right. Having a great woman to watch over your azz (like my wife) is huge a asset...even until this very day! You don't know the lady well at this point and could be walking into a setup.

If you become smitten with this woman, I would recommend that you meet her and her family in Cagayan de Oro or Cebu, or at least in Zamboanga City. Once you know her true intentions, perhaps will you consider visiting her home on another trip. But, be very cautious, try to keep the date of your exact visit limited to only very close family members! Good luck with that!   Once you are there in her town, make sure that she has plenty of relatives watching your back, stay in town, avoid standing out (difficult for most westerners), and try not to fall into a set routine. Breakfast at McDonald's seems to be a VERY popular expat event throughout the Philippines! In Western Mindanao, I would be pay particular attention to avoid congregating in areas known for foreigners or wealthy (some restaurants, bars, malls, resorts, and tourist destinations), etc. Follow your intuition and instinct! I usually move to the opposite of the airport waiting area (behind a post or wall when possible) when a Filipino walks up, places his bag or backpack next to me, then suddenly walks away. (Sometimes I move around a lot)    He probably figures that nobody will mess with the bag if they think that it belongs to "the kano." But, I don't take any chances!  This really doesn't apply only to Mindanao or the Philippines.

Here is some old 2008 travel info from a guy that lives in Mindanao, but it will give you a general idea. Things have escalated a bit since it was written.  
http://www.theworldoffilipinas.com/forum/lofiversion/index.php?t14755.html

"*Zamboanga Sibugay Province: Zamboanga Sibugay should be relatively safe and uneventful. Travelers should exercise care and caution in this Province due to last year's kidnapping of Father Bossi, an Italian Priest. Caution should be exercised in Zamboanga Sibugay Province, and in the entire Zamboanga Peninsula. I recommend that you stay in the towns, and not venture out into the jungles, especially after dark. In Zamboanga Sibugay, I strongly recommend that you vary your activities, don't follow the same schedule each day, and make your actions unpredictable."

I have no reason to visit the Zamboanga Peninsula, so I don't. Besides, my wife doesn't let me go west of Iligan City.   Some areas that I avoid in Mindanao are:
Region IX - Zamboanga Peninsula, Region XII -SOCCSKSARGEN, AARM - Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regions_of_the_Philippines I also avoid spending too much time in NPA (communist) areas (usually the bundok - rural). I always go there unannounced and usually do not spend the night. So far, they have not seemed to mind me. I am a bit of an adventurer, so my wife has her hands full keeping under control and safe!  

It is now Christmas Season in the Philippines (has been since September). Basically it is now "open season" on Christians and foreigners for Muslim terrorists, especially in areas in Mindanao, Manila and other large cities. They have no problem taking out a few Muslims in the collateral damage. Unlike Muslim mosques, Christian churches in the Philippines are not safe havens...quite the contrary!

Dave

[Ray]

Excellent advice Dave!

I was thinking that Naga City was farther north, but I checked the map and I see that it is actually in a more dangerous area than I thought.

Agreed that meeting her in CDO is much better for a first trip…

Ray