Pinays and Superstitions

[Bill_McC]

I was talking to Cris this morning and somehow witches came up. She seems to quite superstitious. Is this the norm or is it unusual? She believes that a witch cast a spell on her sister that killed her because her sister was so beautiful that it made the witch jealous. I didn't know how to react because it was obvious to me that she was not joking in the least. This is from a woman that is technologically savvy, intelligent, hard working, and very level headed. It just strikes me as very strange to be all of that and superstitious too. Is this a cultural trait? Something I should just ignore or is it something to be taken seriously? Inquiring minds want to know.

Bill

[Jeff S]

I think it comes from the Spanish influence mixing with earlier practices. In Latin America they have all sorts of superstitions about brujas, hexes and such, too. It seems very incompatible with modern American and European Christian and secular beliefs, where we consider those kinds of things humorous and fairly harmless.

My wife is worldly, educated, religiously trained, and from a first world Asian country and she has all sorts of beliefs in supernatural spirits, luck, numerology, feng shui, influences of the moon, and so on. When you accept someone you have to accept or at least have tolerance for their belief system as well.

My suggestion is that you treat it with understanding - neither ignore nor show contempt, and whatever you do, don't try to talk them out of it using some kind of logic or reason. Women act on their feelings and much of this is ingrained, whether it's family, earlier experiences, or whatever. Learn to live with and enjoy experiencing the cultural differences.

[z_k_g]

Jeff, I think you are correct, we all believe in something that may seem silly cross culturally.  Understanding is the key and getting to know each others countries histories etc helps to put those beliefs in perspective.

I have notice that Philippinos place a lot of credence into their dreams.  This is not so unusual because grandmother had similar beliefs.  

Zulu

[thekfc]

Hi Bill, here is some reading material for you.

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=4707.0

We had a thread just a little over a year ago on superstitions in The Philippines.

[Jedironin]

Interesting. Thanks! 

[Bill_McC]

Hi Bill, here is some reading material for you.

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=4707.0

We had a thread just a little over a year ago on superstitions in The Philippines.

Thanks KFC, that was an interesting read.

I guess my nonresponse was the best I could have done at the time. I honestly didn't know how to react because she was SO adament about this witch. It just took me back because she is so down to earth and intelligent.

Then again, I toss a pinch of salt over my shoulder if I spill salt and I knock on wood when I say I haven't had XXX happen to me in YYY years too.

Bill

[robert angel]

There is a lot of superstition and belief in some very strange 'medicine' over there, even amongst people who are well educated and highly intelligent. I find it hard to believe and I obviously 'don't get it', so I roll with it rather than 'pooh pooing'  another cultures ways and beliefs. I will never understand it or change it, so why knock myself out for no good reason?

That said, I do help pay for what we know here as 'real' medicine, operations, etc. They of course believe in that too, but do have some interesting beliefs, ways and methods that you'd never see at a Mayo Clinic in the USA, that's for sure.

Some of the natural stuff really does work.

[piglett]

I was talking to Cris this morning and somehow witches came up. She seems to quite superstitious. Is this the norm or is it unusual? She believes that a witch cast a spell on her sister that killed her because her sister was so beautiful that it made the witch jealous. I didn't know how to react because it was obvious to me that she was not joking in the least. This is from a woman that is technologically savvy, intelligent, hard working, and very level headed. It just strikes me as very strange to be all of that and superstitious too. Is this a cultural trait? Something I should just ignore or is it something to be taken seriously? Inquiring minds want to know.
Bill

My wife has a collage degree & yet she thinks nomes can pop out of the ground if you work to late outside in the garden     She then asked me if we had nomes in New Hampshire & i said "no they would freeze to death in the winter"


piglett

[Jeff S]

One thing you must have forgotten about forgot Piglett: Gnomes have have 80 proof blood so they never freeze solid. When the ground around them melts, they pop right out raring to go again.

[Dave H]

I know that this is going to be difficult to believe...I married a Filipina who is not superstitious and doesn't have or want a cell phone. No doubt that there are very few Filipinas like that.  Most sleep, eat, and bath with their cell phones! I need to get one for emergencies.

Dave

[Ray]

Yes Bill, there are all kinds of weird and silly superstitions and beliefs imbedded in Filipino culture. Though a good portion of the population takes at least some of this stuff seriously, most Filipinos do not.

The folklore is traditionally passed on from generation to generation by word of mouth. Before the widespread existence of television in the Filipino home and before silly but popular shows like Wowowee (and Win na Win), the grandmas in the home sometimes didn’t have a lot to do, so they told stories to the grandchildren. Some of the scary monster stuff was intended to put the scare into the little ones so they would conform to rules of behavior. (If you stay out late playing, the Kapre might get you…stuff like that).

As long as her belief in some of this far-out stuff is not obsessive or impairing her ability to function normally, and she isn’t causing any harm to herself or others, then I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s even OK to joke about this stuff with her, as long as you keep it lighthearted. Filipinos have a great sense of humor and they love to make fun of their own silly behaviors and beliefs. If she takes great offense to a little light ribbing about weird superstitions and the like, then you may have a problem down the road, but I don’t think that’s very common.

I am personally fascinated with Filipino folklore and monster stories. In my Tagalog class, we are required to read a Tagalog news article of our choice to the class every week. One on-line newspaper (Pilipino Star Ngayon), where I get a lot of my material, has a lot of news stories involving monsters. Some of the articles that I have presented so far this semester have included subjects on Kapres (big scary guy who lives in trees and smokes stogies), Mangkukulams (witches), Duwendes (dwarfs living under your house or in dirt mounds) in the Philippine Supreme Court, etc. My article for today is about Manananggals attacking residents in a Cavite town. This stuff really cracks up the Filipinos in my class who grew up over there.

If a pregnant Filipina places garlic around the doors and windows, and throws some up on the roof of the house, don’t worry because it’s meant to keep the Aswang away (a Filipino vampire-like creature who steals and eats fetuses from the womb). Hey, why take any chances?  

OBTW, I do love the hoochie-koochie girls on Win na Win...  

Ray

[Bob_S]

Most sleep, eat, and bath with their cell phones!

First thought: how to hack the cell phones to remotely turn on the cameras.   

[thekfc]

I know that this is going to be difficult to believe...I married a Filipina who is not superstitious and doesn't have or want a cell phone. No doubt that there are very few Filipinas like that.  Most sleep, eat, and bath with their cell phones! I need to get one for emergencies.

Dave

Now that is a gem - a Filipina who do have a cell phone or want one.
Ahya sisters & ninangs, including the ones in their 40's/50's, all have cell phone & are constantly texting.
As for the younger ones - Ahya nieces & their college friends - I seldom see a picture of them without a cellphone in their hands or not texting - I call them the texting queens. 

[piglett]

Now that is a gem - a Filipina who do have a cell phone or want one.
Ahya sisters & ninangs, including the ones in their 40's/50's, all have cell phones & are constantly texting.
As for the younger ones - Ahya nieces & their college friends - I seldom see a picture of them without a cellphone in their hands or not texting - I call them the texting queens. 

I noticed that Marily was texting a lot but she said it was mostly about the wedding plans.
once she said that the wedding was all set i still noticed she was still texting quite often. at one point rite after she had just sent a text i asked her for her phone, she handed it to me & without even looking at it i put it in my front pocket. About 4 hours later i handed it back to her.
I saw it like this, i flew to the other side of the planet so she should be spending most of her time with my & less time texting until i returned home.(not trying to sound like a control freek here)


pig

[thekfc]

Ahya wasn't texting that much when she was with me, there were times that I would tell her to reply to the text.

There is a feature on the phone that I gave her, instead of you reading the text - the phone would read you the text.
It was cool for a while but then it became very annoying. The problem was not with the voice reading the English text but the voice reading / trying to read the Tagalog text - it was like a robot speaking. 

[z_k_g]

I noticed that Marily was texting a lot but she said it was mostly about the wedding plans.
once she said that the wedding was all set i still noticed she was still texting quite often. at one point rite after she had just sent a text i asked her for her phone, she handed it to me & without even looking at it i put it in my front pocket. About 4 hours later i handed it back to her.
I saw it like this, i flew to the other side of the planet so she should be spending most of her time with my & less time texting until i returned home.(not trying to sound like a control freek here)


pig

Hey piggie,

I think you lived out a conversation that I've already had a few times!  I was asked "can I text when you come to visit!"

My reply was exactly as yours was!  I have traveled 12k miles to see you!  Lay off the texting please, at least until we get acquainted.  

But.....Somehow I don't think I will win that argument! 

Zulu

[Dave H]

I am personally fascinated with Filipino folklore and monster stories.

Ray

I didn't believe in any of that stuff...until I lived in the Philippines for a while. Now, I have seen some stuff that I can't explain logically. Fortunately, the Filipinos that I have told, accept it as fact (don't think that I am nuts) and tell me what it was that I saw.   I am begining to believe that the Philippines is a portal to some supernatural world, as I have been told.    It's a good thing "I ain't afraid of no ghosts!"  
http://www.philippine-portal.com/arts-and-culture/traditions-and-customs/superstition.html

Dave

[Jedironin]

I've studied history a fair amount (mostly EU, UK and some Japanese) and there are just too many things found in ALL histories to just discount them completely! While the names might be different for each culture, many similarities are found in Fairie Mounds, dragons, werewolves, vampires, dwarves, elves, witches, sprites and ghosts. Some element of ALL of these (including pictures which are strikingly similar!) can be found from the UK, EU, China, Japan, LA and even some Arabian countries! Coincidence? ... I think not!

[piglett]

Hey piggie,
I think you lived out a conversation that I've already had a few times!  I was asked "can I text when you come to visit!"
My reply was exactly as yours was!  I have traveled 12k miles to see you!  
Zulu

EXACTLY!!! i fly for 24 hours to come see you then i take a 3 hour bus ride & then a 20 hour ride on an old rusty tub of a boat so you can have the wedding of your dreams (almost none of the other ladies on that island will ever have such a wedding) & then your texting other people every 5 min. WTF???

pig

[z_k_g]

EXACTLY!!! i fly for 24 hours to come see you then i take a 3 hour bus ride & then a 20 hour ride on an old rusty tub of a boat so you can have the wedding of your dreams (almost none of the other ladies on that island will ever have such a wedding) & then your texting other people every 5 min. WTF???
pig

LOL, pig, I FEEL YOU!!   

Zulu

[robert angel]

Texting and phone calls can be a pain in the ass. I usually ask my wife to turn off the phone if we're eating out or doing grocery shopping together--it took a while for me to get to that point, but when I did, I was pretty pissed--I should've nipped it in the bud earlier, as she was cool with giving it up and not making me feel like I was alone, picking out the ice cream, etc.

When I first spent time with her in the RP and on other trips, it was a non issue and we hope to go back next summer and it won't be an issue.

I don't think many, if any of us, fully grasp Filipino ways, superstitions--their culture in general to any great degree. I guess Ray, with about 40 years in pretty tight, might have it down, but I think Dave H, who's lived there for years, will tell you he's still picking up things and there's somethings he'll never fully figure out.

I've got about 20 years of marriage in two marriages to Filipinas, and while my second wife has shown me a lot more things than my first, there's a lot she just doesn't feel is important--maybe she knows I wouldn't understand, I dunno.


I am aware of the social effect of so called 'witches' and black magic practitioners and 'social protocol' in dealing with them--eye gaze,  (like in NYC--know who and when to look at people) returning any physical touch from 'one of them' to return 'bad energy', wearing a diamond to ward off the evil eye and a lot of other crazy stuff.

It'd be real easy for me to laugh at these people I know, but then I know others who attribute deaths and bad, painful health ailments to these black magic people, so I am not going to laugh when it's so real to them. If they want me to avoid walking across these people's property, fine by me--just like avoiding a bad part of town anywhere else makes sense. It just annoyed me that they didn't tell me WHY we were taking what I knew was 'the longer way' for a while.

I haven't heard anything about ghosts, fairies or gnome like creatures, but my wife for sure doesn't want her (or my) picture taken by the impressive banyon trees back home or in the Florida Keys, for that matter--she feels they harbor spirits best left alone.

And who am I to laugh at their mix of what I might consider unorthodox, primitive medicine when they cured my foot of a fungus for a dollar, when thousands of dollars in USA Doctors giving me medicines so strong they had to monitor my liver and blood enzymes, still  couldn't cure?

I could go on with more specific examples, but it would only make readers think "Man--those people are OUT THERE!"--and I guess that's why my wife doesn't give me the whole low down--the 'skinny' as we used to call it, on the ways, methods and beliefs that go on there. I get it in dribs and drabs, and I take it as it comes.

And as Jedairon says, many of these superstitious beliefs and customs, just like some foods we might think are 'unique', exist in cultures in many places elsewhere, far, far from the RP. It's not just in North America that feels it's bad luck to cut a baby's hair before they're a year old. I bet 3/4ths of the planet considers the word 'ka ka' as meaning something like that piece of gum or food a kid might find on the floor and want to eat as being nasty and unhealthy--to be emphatically avoided as in "NO!--that's ka ka!!" --ha ha....

My self--I'm TOO smart to be superstitious, because I KNOW it's bad luck to be that way!

So if you summarily dismiss their ways as being stupid and ignorant, you may in fact be describing yourself.

I think many Filipinos who come here--the best of them anyways, feel that  lot of things in the USA are messed up--that our priorities and values leave a lot to be desired. I like what Mahatma Gandhi said when he was asked:

"What do you think of Western Civilization?"

He replied:

"I think it would be a good idea".

[thekfc]

I have seen & experience things that I just cannot explain.

I remember as a 16 yr old kid, I got "lost" on my own block - the same block that I did lived on for 16 yrs.
That happened at night after I walk thru a woman's yard - she have previously forbid anyone from walking on her property, unless she first invited them.

I was walking in circle, each direction that I turned - I was seeing the same street, houses, people, signs, & trees. I regained my "senses" after a dog came next to me & started licking me. The dog then started walking in front of me like it was guiding me home. They say that a dog is man's best friend, that night the dogs was more than my best friend. The funny thing is, I have never seen that dog before & the only times that I saw that dog again were at night.

The next morning, the woman stopped me & told me "didn't I say not to walk on my property?"
Man, I was apologizing my butt off & volunteered to do chores for her for free for a week.     I though that she was about to take me on my offer but as she got closer to me she backed off & told me do not worry about it, just do not do it again.
Some people told me that she backed off because of the scent of the dog on me.

That is one experience that I will always remember & the main reason why I love dogs.

[Dave H]

Texting and phone calls can be a pain in the ass. I usually ask my wife to turn off the phone if we're eating out or doing grocery shopping together--it took a while for me to get to that point, but when I did, I was pretty pissed--I should've nipped it in the bud earlier, as she was cool with giving it up and not making me feel like I was alone, picking out the ice cream, etc.

Hey Rob,

I do feel for you guys...but I can't relate! 

Dave

[Dave H]

I think Dave H, who's lived there for years,

Thanks Rob,

In 4 more months I will have lived in the Philippines "for years"...2 to be exact.   Been coming here for 10 (usually staying for several months at a time). So much for my adroitness.

Dave

[jm21-2]

My GF seems to like the idea of western psychological diseases and it appears quite trendy in Taiwan (or at least her family) to have one. Further, apparently doctors will write you up a diagnosis and a prescription just based on you saying you have some disorder. Hence, my GF and her family all have very serious psychological disorders and medications despite not really having any disorders. I think that's more annoying than, but similar to, having superstitions. My dad was a social worker, my mom taught special ed, and my brother works at a group home for mentally handicapped people, so I hear a lot about disorders. Trying to convince her that just because her mom has some problems sleeping now and then doesn't mean she's clinically bi-polar is impossible though. After all, a doctor wrote something up.

So like others have said, try to learn to live with things...convincing them to change their mind is almost impossible.