Where to start...

[ChrisRodz]

Hi everyone...

My name is Chris.  I am new to this sort of thing.  I do not even know where to start.  I have a strong love for asian women and no its not just a fetish.  I come from a very small unclose family and I find it hard to find a companion in the US eventhough I am a decent looking guy.  Id like to expand my search outside of these boundaries and maybe find an untainted asian woman.  Can someone please show me the direction I need to take?  Possibly without spending money on a subscription to a site?  Thanks for taking the time to read.

[ChrisRodz]

let me re-iterate on the hesitation to pay for a subscription.  I do not want to spend the money on a site that is useless.  Can someone point me into the direction of sites that are in fact worth it with personal experience?

[z_k_g]

Chris, Welcome to P-L

Take a look at the recent posts here and read the archives, you will get lots and lots of pointers on what to do and most importantly what NOT to do.

For free sites, primarily Asian, that work, try www.dateinasia.com but read the posts to get pointers on how to proceed with that and any other site, paid or free.

Good Luck, and ask lots of questions.

Zulu

[ChrisRodz]

Thank you so much for responding and thanks for the advice!

[Jeff S]

Hi Chris and welcome.

As I very strongly recommend to every new poster, Asia is far from homologous. Every country (and often different areas of each country) has an entirely different set of cultural values, norms, expectations, traditions, and so on. Before you even consider looking for a girl, you need to look for a culture to get comfortable with. You're going to be immersed in it for the rest of your life. Spend some time getting to know the cultures first.

This is NOT about which slender, slanty eyed girl turns your eye. Unfortunately looking through the websites is a bit like picking out items from a catalog. Sorry to put it crudely, but the more informed you are going in, the more successful you will be. Spend lots of time studying the cultures before you make a decision. Only after you have decided which culture fits you, should you start looking for the right girl for you in personality, intelligence and looks. You'll find plenty of choices, so don't worry about missing out on options.

Welcome to the adventure. It's one that you should enjoy to it's fullest. Your friends will be jealous, and it will be something you'll talk about for the rest of your life.

- Jeff

[Jedironin]

Good Points, Jeff. What are the best methods for studying the cultures? I can look at Wiki and Google Maps all day, but I don't think that's going to help much with the social customs... I am getting better with the geography and finding the cities, though.

[robert angel]

Hey Chris,

Welcome. There's nothing wrong with starting out on the cheap by going on a free site like DIA, but I really think that given the amount of time and inevitably, the amount of money you're going to have to spend if you want this to really work out, it's going to cost you. 

The free sites are a great way too 'get your feet wet' but in the big scheme of things, $100 or so towards another 'for pay site' compared to the $10,000 to $20,000 your search (if you decide to carry through) will inevitably cost you, it's a very small price to pay.


Hey man--if you're late to how to best play the game and  this is one of the few stumble bumbles you make along the way, you're way ahead of me!

Look behind the faces and at their culture, their back grounds, their family and friends and then you'll know which of the pretty faces might be more likely to stick by your side for the long term. Learning about their ways and customs--their 'culture' can be done here and on a ton of other sites, including even wikipedia and with links you get from there, for starters.

Good luck!!

[Jhengsman]

Hi everyone...

My name is Chris.  I am new to this sort of thing.  I do not even know where to start.  I have a strong love for asian women and no its not just a fetish.  I come from a very small unclose family and I find it hard to find a companion in the US eventhough I am a decent looking guy.  Id like to expand my search outside of these boundaries and maybe find an untainted asian woman.  Can someone please show me the direction I need to take?  Possibly without spending money on a subscription to a site?  Thanks for taking the time to read.

With dating sites just the very fact that she is searching outside of her parent culture suggest that the cultural tainting process has already begun. If that is what "taint" implies. Are you friendly, work or study with any recent Asian immigrants and do they have relatives back home?

[Jeff S]

Where do you live Jedi? I'd say get involved in a community here in the US.

There are also tons of references to culture online, for instance: http://www.thejapanfaq.com/FAQ-Primer.html A little searching and you should have plenty to read. Keep in-mind that most of these will be tainted by the perceptions of an individual, not necessarily applicable to all. For instance, Tijuana to me is all about people dressed nicely, fine dining, valet parking, and string quartets. To many it's shots of tequila, donkey shows, toothless street musicians, and hurling in the gutter. Which is the real Tijuana? Both - you get to pick which one you visit.

[Bob_S]

I have a strong love for asian women and no its not just a fetish.

Welcome to the game.
As mentioned, Asian is a very broad term.  That's a bit like saying "I like Italian food", but ultimately you have to settle for one dish.  Lasagna? Spaghetti? Fettuccine carbonara? Pizza?  And what kind of pizza? Plain cheese? Pepperoni? Anchovies? Tuna and corn with mayo? (Not joking there, yes that's a popular choice in some places.)

Find the culture and region that matches you, and focus there.  Based on your choice, there are folks here who can guide you.

With dating sites just the very fact that she is searching outside of her parent culture suggest that the cultural tainting process has already begun. If that is what "taint" implies.

A agree with that point.  Lynn Visson wrote in "Wedded Strangers", in choosing a foreign spouse, you are in some way rejecting a facet of your own culture (by what it produces in potential spouses).  That goes for us and for our spouses.  If they weren't rejecting of their local culture, they'd be marrying a local guy!

I'd say get involved in a community here in the US.
There are also tons of references to culture online, for instance: http://www.thejapanfaq.com/FAQ-Primer.html A little searching and you should have plenty to read.

Yep.  You can look at the expat sites of your target country (beware, depending on the focus of the blog host, you'll get different views of that society), books like the "Culture Shock" series, start watching English-subbed shows from drama sites like http://www.dramacrazy.net/ or http://www.dramaidol.com/ , or take the time to enroll in an evening language class at your local community college.

[jm21-2]

Good Points, Jeff. What are the best methods for studying the cultures? I can look at Wiki and Google Maps all day, but I don't think that's going to help much with the social customs... I am getting better with the geography and finding the cities, though.

There have been some good suggestions mentioned already. You may also want to read some novels from the country...oftentimes they give you a good feel for the culture without feeling like work. A bit of history wouldn't hurt either.

[Jhengsman]

There have been some good suggestions mentioned already. You may also want to read some novels from the country...oftentimes they give you a good feel for the culture without feeling like work. A bit of history wouldn't hurt either.

Books were to stuffy for me. Try Netflix and rent the movies from the target region. Get art house (for the bad/hidden culture) as well as pop entertainment films. Movies are more likely to be subtitled then TV. But do check out their TV also.

[Ray]

 What are the best methods for studying the cultures?

One way is to read some of the Culture Shock! series books, which are available for many countries, and not very expensive either. For example, Culture Shock! Philippines

Plug that into the search window on amazon.com or try your local library/bookstore.

Ray

[jm21-2]

Everyone has their tastes. I've certainly watched more than my share of foreign cinema, but I also enjoy reading Chinese and Japanese literature.

[Jeff S]

Here's a worthwhile read if you're interested in Japan:


http://www.midlist.org/showbook.cfm?booknum=113

[dinda]

hi Chris,

have u tried this one website? connectingsingles.com. i'm on the website currently and its free, no hidden charge but u have to be aware that all online dating website do have scammers and they are everywhere, not me obviously... here an example how the profile look like... errr, yeah it my profile to be exact... just to give u the idea, dont get me wrong... u can thank me later... 

http://www.connectingsingles.com/free-dating-bigcity_kl.htm

yea, Dinda is back... 

[Jeff S]

Hi Dinda. Nice to see you back! Don't stay away so long

[dinda]

hi Mr. Jeff S,

nice to see u too... mended the broken heart, so im back... but, will be gone again if my heart be broken for the 100 times... 

[Dave H]

Hi Chris,

Welcome to P-L! You've come to the right place! I think the other posters have given you info for a good start. Keep the questions coming.

Good Luck!

Dave

[Dave H]

hi Mr. Jeff S,

nice to see u too... mended the broken heart, so im back... but, will be gone again if my heart be broken for the 100 times...  

Hey Dinda,

Welcome back!

Sorry to hear about your previously broken heart! I'm glad to hear that your heart has mended! Did it involve a foreigner? Did you meet him living in your country? I have found that most foreigners living in the Philippines to be trouble! Some of the retired guys are OK. But most of the younger guys seem to be parasites trying to make money off fellow countrymen and/or crazy nuts on mental disabilities. I have a few on my "To Do" list!   Filipinos keep saying that I am different than most Americans. I have had a hard time trying to convince them (men and women) that these guys are not the "cream of the crop" and not the typical American!

Good luck!

Dave

Looks like some of the other kanos in town. 

[piglett]

Looks like some of the other kanos in town. 

DAM did someone forget to lock the gate back at the zoo??


pig

[robert angel]

Never mind that nabbering nibnob with the tattoos and piercings--he's probably from NYC!

Here's a splendid example of a woman from a 'third world' country'. Note how like many women there, she's borne six children....Of course, if a woman had done that and lived to age 66, she'd certainly look worse for wear...

http://www.filipinocupid.com/en/profile/showProfile/ID/2347152?searchposition=5&searchtotal=591

[piglett]

Never mind that nabbering nibnob with the tattoos and piercings--he's probably from NYC!

Here's a splendid example of a woman from a 'third world' country'. Note how like many women there, she's borne six children....Of course, if a woman had done that and lived to age 66, she'd certainly look worse for wear...

http://www.filipinocupid.com/en/profile/showProfile/ID/2347152?searchposition=5&searchtotal=591

hell i see "ladies" in their late 20's here that have had only 1 child & they're ...........how should i put it in a nice way?
...........they're a big fat sweat hog
wow good thing i sugar coated it , someone mite have gotton offended


pig

[z_k_g]

hell i see "ladies" in their late 20's here that have had only 1 child & they're ...........how should i put it in a nice way?
...........they're a big fat sweat hog
wow good thing i sugar coated it , someone mite have gotton offended
pig

Spoken like a true pig, no pun intended 

Ray would appreciate the candor!!!

LOL

Zulu

[piglett]

Spoken like a true pig, no pun intended  
Ray would appreciate the candor!!!
LOL
Zulu

he he he
& just so there are no misunderstandings I'm not talking about a little meat with ur taters, I'm talking HUGE!!!

I have already given my wife instructions that if i start to look like a beached whale she is to get a stick about a foot long & every time she sees me picking up a piece of food she is to wack my hand, i figure that will do the trick, sort of like taking a rolled up newspaper & smacking your new puppy on the nose when it's about to pee on the floor. It doesn't really hurt the puppy but it does get the point across


pig