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Author Topic: Question or clarification  (Read 6398 times)

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Offline chris010

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #25 on: October 10, 2010, 08:19:43 AM »
Advice noted Dave, and thank you all again.
I think the single with 0 kids is the best option for me. :)


Chris

Offline Jeff S

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #26 on: October 10, 2010, 08:28:08 AM »
Perhaps in the Philippines, it's not worth the hassle, but elsewhere in Asia... strike that, the world, finding a single, divorced, or widowed mom, is not nearly so chancy. In fact, you may have found yourself a terrific wife: mature, sincere, and grateful. More than a couple of us have in Japan, China, and other places, and are glad we did.

Offline Dave H

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2010, 08:51:44 AM »
Perhaps in the Philippines, it's not worth the hassle, but elsewhere in Asia... strike that, the world, finding a single, divorced, or widowed mom, is not nearly so chancy. In fact, you may have found yourself a terrific wife: mature, sincere, and grateful. More than a couple of us have in Japan, China, and other places, and are glad we did.

Hey Jeff,

I personally don't think it is worth it in the Philippines...too many legal hassles for one thing.

A single mom goes against the conservative Catholic culture. Although some of single moms may be OK, most will want to put the boyfriend's name on the birth certificate...which opens up a whole new can of worms! My wife has advised several ladies not to...which turned out for the best after meeting foreigners who were willing to accept kids.

Dave
The developmentally disabled madman!

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2010, 08:51:44 AM »

Offline Jedironin

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #28 on: October 10, 2010, 09:02:35 AM »
Hey Jedironin,

BELIEVE IT! MOST ARE! I know MANY chatting with naive foreigners on the Internet and feeding them BS! With time and experience you will discover this.

Dave


Oh, trust me, Dave, I am not naive at all!  ;)  I've been trying the online dating-thing for far too long and I've become very adept at busting scammers. One of the main reasons I'm trying this now is because of all the support and advice on this forum! I was only suggesting that there "may" be a "chance" to find that "diamond in the rough". Or should I say the "needle in the haystack"?  ;)

I've adjust my search to mostly Japanese ladies, 30-34, no kids. I will consider ladies from RP also, of course. Not sure about those from China, Indonesia and Thailand, I have had one or two emails from there also. As my intro said, "Cautious, but hopeful..."  I mean it.  :)
Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

Offline Dave H

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #29 on: October 10, 2010, 09:03:10 AM »
Monetary "loan" (from anyone) to a Filipino = gift

Ray



HA HA HA! Tell me about it! Better to start a 5-6 business and hire ruthless "collection agents" with nice Italian names like "Guido."



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Offline Dave H

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #30 on: October 10, 2010, 09:13:26 AM »

Oh, trust me, Dave, I am not naive at all!  ;) 


Hey Jedironin,

I didn't mean to imply that you were! You certainly wouldn't be here asking questions. You have come to the right place! After 10 years, I still learn something new almost every day about Philippine culture! I even read "Culture Shock. Philippines" many times, which is about the best reference guide that I have seen in print. ;D My wife disagrees with some of it, since it is based more on Tagalog culture than her Visayan culture.

Naive guys usually bury their heads in the sand and don't listen to advice...unless it conforms to what they plan to do.

Dave
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Offline Bob_S

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #31 on: October 10, 2010, 11:25:31 PM »
Oh, trust me, Dave, I am not naive at all!  ;)  I've been trying the online dating-thing for far too long and I've become very adept at busting scammers. One of the main reasons I'm trying this now is because of all the support and advice on this forum!
This isn't about busting scammers.  Anyone who reads this forum ought to be able to spot one of those in a heartbeat.  This goes deeper into ferreting out women with "issues" that become nasty (and costly) entanglements later on.
...a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young.
- "Gulliver's Travels" by Jonathan Swift

Offline Jedironin

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #32 on: October 11, 2010, 08:41:50 AM »
Thanks Bob- I'll be working on that as well if I get involved with someone online... Sure can be a minefield out there, huh?
Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

Offline Bob_S

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #33 on: October 11, 2010, 10:04:46 AM »
Sure can be a minefield out there, huh?
Yep, because "issues" can be culture specific.  Everyone has issues of one kind or another.  But something that's a problem in one country is no problem in another.  Like Jeff mentioned, while a "divorced" woman with children is a problem in the Phils, it is typically no problem in Japan and maybe Korea and China where divorced dads are absent dads.  That's not to say Japan doesn't have its own kind of culture-related issues.  For example, my wife was the only child of the last male heir of a family line, meaning that her marrying a foreigner would permanently end the family name, a serious issue where families can trace their lineage back hundreds of years, where generations have their ashes interred in the same family plot, and paternal piety is of highest moral importance.  It resulted in all kinds of family stress and drama.  I could see similar issues in courting a Korean or Chinese girl, but I don't know about the RP.  Would a Filipino dad object to his only child marrying a kano?
...a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young.
- "Gulliver's Travels" by Jonathan Swift

Offline Jhengsman

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #34 on: October 11, 2010, 10:29:10 AM »
Yep, because "issues" can be culture specific.  Everyone has issues of one kind or another.  But something that's a problem in one country is no problem in another.  Like Jeff mentioned, while a "divorced" woman with children is a problem in the Phils, it is typically no problem in Japan and maybe Korea and China where divorced dads are absent dads.  That's not to say Japan doesn't have its own kind of culture-related issues.  For example, my wife was the only child of the last male heir of a family line, meaning that her marrying a foreigner would permanently end the family name, a serious issue where families can trace their lineage back hundreds of years, where generations have their ashes interred in the same family plot, and paternal piety is of highest moral importance.  It resulted in all kinds of family stress and drama.  I could see similar issues in courting a Korean or Chinese girl, but I don't know about the RP.  Would a Filipino dad object to his only child marrying a kano?

Assuming you can find a family, besides single moms with a single child, no.

edit: maybe I was a little too fast, he would be concerned about elder care but presumably nephews would step in to fill the gap since a single daughter probably can't earn enough on her own, unless a foreign husband comes along, to care for the parents in their retirement.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2010, 10:32:25 AM by Jhengsman »

Offline Jedironin

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #35 on: October 11, 2010, 11:20:42 AM »
Interesting insights, guys.  Thanks!

Bob- funny you should bring up the family tree issue. I've studied a lot of medieval history, so maybe that's why it bothers me, but I am the last male from my branch of the tree. I DO want a son to carry on the name, if possible. That said, I don't mind adding a whole new tree to the lineage, so to speak.  ;)

Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

Offline Dave H

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #36 on: October 12, 2010, 06:28:30 AM »

Would a Filipino dad object to his only child marrying a kano?


Most wouldn't...there isn't the racism in the Philippines that is present in many other Asian countries. Filipinos are generally of mixed race. They would like their daughter to marry a good provider, whatever the race or nationality.

Catholic Filipino fathers (around 85% of Filipinos) would prefer that their daughters marry a Catholic husband. Although usually not a marriage breaker.

Chinese Filipinos prefer that their daughters marry men with Chinese blood. They can be quite insistent about it.

Muslim Filipinos expect their daughters to marry Muslims. Some may face severe consequences if they disobey!

Then there are always those fathers that we read about, who don't care what their daughter does or who they marry, as long as they receive lots of money. Living in the Philippines, I would say that it is not the norm.

Dave
« Last Edit: October 12, 2010, 06:33:46 AM by Dave H »
The developmentally disabled madman!

Offline Lyanna

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Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2010, 09:31:32 AM »
The Robon-Mariel marriage was mentioned. They were not married at all. They just had some sort of show. Since Robin has not been able to annul his previous marriage, he cannot marry anyone right now. News reports say that he and his wife Liezel have not been able to come to an agreement about money. The petition for annulment has been stalled in both the Sharia/Muslim court and the regular court.

Actually this illustrates exactly why those "divorced" women in dating sites are probably still legally married. If a rich celebrity like Robin cannot get an annulment easily, what chance does some random person have who isn't a millionaire? Practically none!

Planet-Love.com

Re: Question or clarification
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2010, 09:31:32 AM »

 

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