Spanish TV/ American TV: Helps shape the ladies?

[fathertime]

I was recently watching a mainstream Spanish TV show with my wife and took note of one big societal difference.  A young lady angry and was a little out of control.  She was screaming at a young man.  The young man stepped back and let loose with a very firm smack on the ladies face and knocked her onto the couch, after which she broke down and cried.   As I juxtapose that with what I see normally happen on American TV I see a huge difference.  The American women feel emboldened to get right up in the face of mainstream American men while screaming at them and putting them down.  Sometimes they even strike the man and he often passively takes it.  In our society, it is almost a capital offense to strike a woman, (even if she strikes first), but that does not seem to be the case in the latin world. 

For better or for worse I think that the influence of Spanish TV has been good for the latina ladies, in some respects.  I know they have a reputation for a fiery personality and that does come out sometimes, but I don’t know that generally speaking they have the nerve to strike or really move into the face of a full grown adult man.  I am not necessarily speaking of American latinas, I’m speaking for strictly imported latinas that have been immersed in their own culture through the formative years.   I can recall hearing about at least one exception to this rule, but that man was rather diminutive and didn’t garner much respect in the first place so he doesn’t count. 

I’m interested in hearing what others have noticed/experienced.

Fathertime!

[ignorante]

I remember being shocked the first time I saw a 1950s James Bond film, and he hit women, drank hard liquor, chain smoked, and shot his enemies dead even when they had their hands in the air.

The 1970s and beyond have him drinking only martinis, no smoking, and by the 1980s the women are bossing him around!

[utopiacowboy]

The only thing we watch on Spanish television are the Mexican League soccer games. Many big-name South American players play in Mexico since it is the richest league outside of Europe. My wife roots for all the teams with Colombian players (America, Pachuca, Morelia, Santos, San Luis and Jaguares).

[JimD]

Unless it´s an older woman as in UT´s case the vast majority of Colombian women American men meet and marry come from stratas two or three. In those barrios it is not uncommon at all for men to slap their women around and cops are never called unless she´s dead. The viewing public for the novelas largly come from this class so it´s not surprising a little domestic violence is depicted. Just adds to the realism.

[fathertime]

Unless it´s an older woman as in UT´s case the vast majority of Colombian women American men meet and marry come from stratas two or three. In those barrios it is not uncommon at all for men to slap their women around and cops are never called unless she´s dead. The viewing public for the novelas largly come from this class so it´s not surprising a little domestic violence is depicted. Just adds to the realism.

Hey JimD!

Are you currently in Colombia?  My impression is that if the police were called there isn't much by way of domestic violence laws anyway.  Am I wrong on that matter?  Here a man (or a woman) would definitely be arrested if the spouse said 'he hit me'. If for no other reason, to legally cover the police department's ass, in case after the police left, the husband/wife killed the other spouse.  I don't know about how that works in Colombia.

Fathertime!

[Researcher]

     My wife hardly watches any television.I'm glad too because I wouldn't want her to be like those latinas in the Spanish soaps.I have learned a few things from those programs.The guy that is going to get cheated on or dumped is the one that cries .....you can count on it!!!!


 Researcher

[JimD]

FT the laws are on the books but they´re just not followed.

[Dave H]

I know they have a reputation for a fiery personality and that does come out sometimes, but I don’t know that generally speaking they have the nerve to strike or really move into the face of a full grown adult man.  I am not necessarily speaking of American latinas, I’m speaking for strictly imported latinas that have been immersed in their own culture through the formative years.  

I’m interested in hearing what others have noticed/experienced.

Fathertime!

Hey Fathertime,

¡ Mucho cuidado! It sounds good on paper, but I have the scars to disprove that...even from "imports!"   Especially if you are a nice gringo who they know will not strike back! I have also treated many Latinos who have been beaten, burned, had their dicks Super Glued to their legs (I let the doctors handle that since they are much more qualified), been struck by autos, stabbed or shot. For the love of God man, DON"T PISS HER OFF!  

Dave

How easily we forget!


Found it!

[ignorante]

The guy that is going to get cheated on or dumped is the one that cries .....you can count on it!!!!

   Wuss!   

[JimD]

The guy that is going to get cheated on or dumped is the one that cries  .....you can count on it!!!! 

That may be true in the novelas but in real (Cali) life anybody and everybody can get cheated on. That´s why there´s a long list of private eyes in the Páginas Amarillas.

[Researcher]

The guy that is going to get cheated on or dumped is the one that cries  .....you can count on it!!!! 

That may be true in the novelas but in real (Cali) life anybody and everybody can get cheated on. That´s why there´s a long list of private eyes in the Páginas Amarillas.

     Sure, its a possibility but the wussies will most certainly get dumped and/or cheated on.

  Researcher

[JimD]

"Wussie" is an oxymoron in Colombia. Not part of the culture. Stateside it´s probobly valid as you point out.

[fathertime]

"Wussie" is an oxymoron in Colombia. Not part of the culture. Stateside it´s probobly valid as you point out.

Hey JimD,

Are you saying that wussy's don't exist in Colombia?  Can you explain how it is oxymoranic to use this term in talking about a Colombian male? 

Thanks,
Fathertime!

[utopiacowboy]

Hey JimD,

Are you saying that wussy's don't exist in Colombia?  Can you explain how it is oxymoranic to use this term in talking about a Colombian male? 

Thanks,
Fathertime!

Geez, it's in the culture of how children are raised there. No boy is raised taking his marching orders from girls! None of this PC crap that goes on here. A Colombian male who was not raised to take charge where women are concerned would get eaten alive there. That's not to say that there are not women in Colombia like my wife who, while in charge of the Itaqui textile plant, was boss over 90 to 120 people most of them men. She could do it but at the same time she had to make sure she acted in a suitably feminine fashion.

[fathertime]

Geez, it's in the culture of how children are raised there. No boy is raised taking his marching orders from girls! None of this PC crap that goes on here. A Colombian male who was not raised to take charge where women are concerned would get eaten alive there. That's not to say that there are not women in Colombia like my wife who, while in charge of the Itaqui textile plant, was boss over 90 to 120 people most of them men. She could do it but at the same time she had to make sure she acted in a suitably feminine fashion.

thanks uc, if that is what JimD meant, it makes good sense. 

Come to think of it, I don't ever remember seeing men doing/acting like the 'pussified' men do here.  Calling, and fretting about women 'liking' them or not. Condemning violence in hockey and eating rabbit food instead of meat.
Really the newbies should take note. If your typical man goes over there and acts all extra nice and needy, he is going to be hung up and roasted over the fire and come back with empty pockets and an unused boner. 

Fathertime!

[Researcher]

   So true, hence the representation of the wuss in the novelas .Now, while the term wuss may not exist there I use it here because most of the posters here are from "stateside".So, maybe they can relate.


  Researcher

[JimD]

Yes Ft that is what I meant. There are a number of more or less subtle differences between the cultures (Colombia/US) regarding male/female interaction and it helps if the gringo can tune in to them.

[fathertime]

Yes Ft that is what I meant. There are a number of more or less subtle differences between the cultures (Colombia/US) regarding male/female interaction and it helps if the gringo can tune in to them.

Lucky for me, that appears I may possess an attitude that meshes good enough with the male/female interaction.  Now my question is what are some of these differences in male/female interactions that you (JimD) or anyone else would like to expound upon.  I obviously have my own feelings on the subject, but I have found a little more clarity by hearing these points of view.

Thanks,
Fathertime!

[InnocentVixen]

I think TV can be a big influence specially while growing up to anyone, just like what we see around us affect us, when we are kids we don't know any better and might think those people are real to some degree, like Jim mentions most barrio girls grow up watching novelas to a religious level haha, I have noticed that because of this drama queens are easier to find in girls with this kind of taste in TV... if you find one addicted to "reality shows" RUUUNNNNNN

About the comments about "wussies" I am ashamed to admit you guys are right, over sensitive men do not mix well with latinas, I sometimes wish I could like them more, but truth is I don't want a puppet in my hands, I want a man I can respect and look up to, not someone I have to be extra careful because I might hurt his feelings... I might have a calm personality for a Mexicana but I can be pretty blunt and I do have a temper hidden somewhere, so even the quiet good girls tend to gravitate to men with strong personality as you can see.

[Jeff S]

What? A Mexicana with a temper?

Say it isn't so!

[fathertime]

About the comments about "wussies" I am ashamed to admit you guys are right, over sensitive men do not mix well with latinas, I sometimes wish I could like them more, but truth is I don't want a puppet in my hands, I want a man I can respect and look up to, not someone I have to be extra careful because I might hurt his feelings...

I don't have many 'feelings' or 'needs' but when I do I just take care of them without apology.  In the rare occassions where i'm irritated I express it, no holding back.

Side note:
Sometimes my woman asks me what I want for dinner, and I would sometimes retort (in a gay sexy voice): What do you want?...I found that this is one of many situations where what my wife wants does not count.  She just wants to know what the hell I WANT for dinner, so she can cook for me (dinner is my indulgence).  I quickly learned, to just answer the question and leave it at that.  I guess those telenovelas are a good influence in some ways!

Fathertime! 

[InnocentVixen]

Sometimes my woman asks me what I want for dinner, and I would sometimes retort (in a gay sexy voice): What do you want?...I found that this is one of many situations where what my wife wants does not count.  She just wants to know what the hell I WANT for dinner, so she can cook for me

I think this is very common, even when I cook at home I ask for the people I am cooking what do they feel like eating, no matter if it's only my mom or family and friends, it's a little something american men should get used to if they marry a latina, it's not the novelas, we are simply pleasers, what we like is to cook what you like, well I do anyways haha

[robert angel]

My wife KNOWS what I like to eat, although she'll sometimes ask me what I do want. It was chicken chunks in a creamy curry sauce, w/ potatoes and some weird Filipino vegies the other night (hey--as long as it isn't okra or beets, I'm cool) and she's gonna do baked lasagna tomorrow with real homemade sauce, herbs from our garden and ground Italian sausage instead of ground beef. And real whole milk mozzarella and ricotta cheese. Not your typical lasagna recipe, but who ever said we were 'typical'?

She had to work tonight and I marinated (soy sauce, sea salt, coarse ground pepper, some Central American hot sauce from Belize and a dash of cummin) and grilled three one pound plus rib eyes, made rice and mixed vegies and we ate before she left.

I had to watch the grill  close, as their was some fat-- I should've trimmed off--I thought the damn grill was malfunctioning--it was sending up big flames and didn't want to serve $5.99 a pound carbon for dinner. It came out pretty good, nonetheless.

I ate one rib eye and was plenty full. She ate more rice and vegies than me, finished her steak and THEN took a few cuts out of the third one!

As usual, we gave thanks and wished with all our hearts that her family could enjoy such a royal meal with us. She trims the fat from hers and tries to get me to do the same. I asked her--if this was back home--do you think what we cut off and throw away would be thrown away?-- and w/o blinking, she said 'no'.

I'm 6 ft tall and 210 pounds, she's almost 5'1 tall and 90 pounds--she scarfed down a rib eye that weighed over a pound, came back for more and she eats me under the table at the Asian Buffets too--go figure!

[Jeff S]

I think this is very common, even when I cook at home I ask for the people I am cooking what do they feel like eating, no matter if it's only my mom or family and friends, it's a little something american men should get used to if they marry a latina, it's not the novelas, we are simply pleasers, what we like is to cook what you like, well I do anyways haha

Asian women too. I guess AW never got that memo.

[Ray]

She had to work tonight and I marinated (soy sauce, sea salt, coarse ground pepper, some Central American hot sauce from Belize and a dash of cummin) and grilled three one pound plus rib eyes, made rice and mixed vegies and we ate before she left.

I had to watch the grill  close, as their was some fat-- I should've trimmed off--I thought the damn grill was malfunctioning--it was sending up big flames and didn't want to serve $5.99 a pound carbon for dinner. It came out pretty good, nonetheless.

I ate one rib eye and was plenty full. She ate more rice and vegies than me, finished her steak and THEN took a few cuts out of the third one!

As usual, we gave thanks and wished with all our hearts that her family could enjoy such a royal meal with us. She trims the fat from hers and tries to get me to do the same. I asked her--if this was back home--do you think what we cut off and throw away would be thrown away?-- and w/o blinking, she said 'no'.

I'm 6 ft tall and 210 pounds, she's almost 5'1 tall and 90 pounds--she scarfed down a rib eye that weighed over a pound, came back for more and she eats me under the table at the Asian Buffets too--go figure!

Robert,

You marinate rib-eye steaks??

So, does she still want her steak well-done? I finally got my wife to like medium-well, then medium, and now she is beginning to appreciate medium-rare after 10 years here. Maybe some day I’ll get her to scarf down a bloody, rare steak?

I know the secret of why Filipinas always eat us under the table at those Chinese buffets. They don’t eat any rice because it “wastes valuable stomach space”… ROFL!

Ray