filipino women....

[brettb]

OK so I have been reading post after post, And there is alot off good stuff on here. Wanted to thank alot of you guys for posting this stuff! So my question is... I have kind of just met this filipina girl and right off the bat her personality clicked with mine, That's never really happened before. And I know with AW you can try to hard and scare them away and other stuff like that... Does that happen with the filipina women too? I mean I'm not telling the girl i love her or even that i like her. I have given a basic compliment as in you have a great personality. And i ask this question for a few reasons. Different cultures have some crazy ways of "courting" and I just wanna make sure I'm not breaking some of those rules with the pinay girls. I'm sure this subject has been talked about before. But i couldn't find any frank answer to it.

-Brett

[z_k_g]

So my question is... I have kind of just met this filipina girl and right off the bat her personality clicked with mine, That's never really happened before. And I know with AW you can try to hard and scare them away and other stuff like that... Does that happen with the filipina women too?

Bret, just be yourself.

Keep everything as honest as possible and take your time to get to know her.  You are not dealing with an American woman so NONE the rules apply here with a pinay.

If you are lucky enough to have found a good fit then its just a matter of getting to know her and moving forward naturally.

The RP is absolutely full of eye candy and available women, so she will want you to commit, that will be your decision.

Most pinays want to be exclusive pretty early on and will tell you of their "love" very early in the relationship.   

Ironically, this may scare you off!!

But, don't let that happen, it's normal.

Good luck!

Zulu

[brettb]

Thanks for the advice Zulu. I did sense that alot of them are ready to be exlusive right off the bat. Not a bad thing but i've had to tell a few of them about slowing it down..kind of wierd, I have been honest with them right off the bat. and generally speaking when alot of them find out my age and my martial status as divorced that seems to be a killer right there... Is there something I should know about that?

[Jeff S]

... generally speaking when alot of them find out my age and my martial status as divorced that seems to be a killer right there...

Good. It's an easy way to cut through the noise quickly. I assume you're looking for one, instead of trying to appeal to a lot?

[z_k_g]

I have been honest with them right off the bat. and generally speaking when alot of them find out my age and my martial status as divorced that seems to be a killer right there... Is there something I should know about that?

Thats a good thing!!  There are many many pinays, and you need to narrow the search quickly to find that one special pinay!

And really, no worries, there are lots of hot quality pinays available so, no sweat, trust me.

You are just in the weed out process.

Zulu

[Jhengsman]

Thanks for the advice Zulu. I did sense that alot of them are ready to be exlusive right off the bat. Not a bad thing but i've had to tell a few of them about slowing it down..kind of wierd, I have been honest with them right off the bat. and generally speaking when alot of them find out my age and my martial status as divorced that seems to be a killer right there... Is there something I should know about that?

Considering the average American in these relationships seem to be older and few are still single never married before looking overseas. The ones still single and childless might just probably be eliminated by American women but not Pinays as a mama's boy or a playboy they do not want to chance.  I have never heard of Filipinas using divorce as a filter, even if they claim to believe "one man, one woman and no divorce" A local man on the other hand can't be divorced since the Philippines don't recognize divorce so he would be asking her to move in knowing "the legal wife" is out there able to strike. The women on the internet are used to the social networking websites, the Friendster and more recently Facebook where the person proclaims what they are looking for they are just seeing if you are in for a wife and not a chat mate, text mate or pen pal.

[brettb]

Jeff you are soo right! I keep re-verting back to my conception of AW... I need to break that =)
Zulu Once again thanks for the advice. You are truly correct.

And Jengsman After talk to a few Pinays. I have heard when i understand you are divorced i wounder if you were a bad husband and man.... So I believe they do use it as a filter. But alot of them will give you a chance to explain. In my case I was Married while I was in the Marine corps and when I was deployed to iraq she did some stupid stuff. So they understand.

But in all honesty it really is a good filter and I will call it my "good filter". It knocks alot of the really young ones who have no direction in there life. And I just want to thank the rest of you guys for the advice.!

[robert angel]

Generally speaking to a Filipina, especially at first, a prior divorce is a 'bump in the road', but shouldn't derail things. It might be the one really noticeable time where a Filipina seems just a bit pushy.

I had a few ask me to go on web cam and SHOW them the papers--the divorce decree so they could be sure. Kind of hard to read on most web cams, but it can be done.

And then, they will sometimes want to know WHY you got divorced and you'll need to give the details. Be honest and don't try and make like you were 1000% not to blame--they probably won't buy it and will appreciate your honesty and unless you did some heinous things, almost will certainly accept your faults, provided that if you owed up to them and explain 'lessons learned'.

Other than that, that kind of behavior in very uncharacteristic of Filipinas and in my case. was probably aggravated by the fact that my first wife was an (Americanized) Filipina, who I met here in the states. That brought on some 'quirky looks' but never was a complete reject rationale.

You might notice that if you're wearing any sort of ring, she'll scrutinize it and ask 'is that a wedding or engagement ring?" and ask you to bring it closer to the cam to see.

You have to realize that almost all these girls have been played by guys who led them on, made promises to visit, then after she told friends and family--never did and perhaps even did, in the hopes of a titty show or real sex and then once they got that, dumped them--even worse of a situation. If it didn't happen to them, they've heard of, or know other Filipinas to whom it did happen. They're just being careful.

But to put it simply, generally, unless the girl is a real player. with several fishing lines in the pond, she'll focus on you, you, you and it's sort of like a good cave you're falling into. Just be careful with your pick axe!  She'll want (and hopefully you'll deliver and expect the same) to chat at preset times and things will progressively get more intense, yet comfortable at the same time. Being there when you say and not having excuse after excuse is very important. If it means that much to either of you, you'll find a way to 'make' the time...

[Dave H]

Hey Brett,

Being divorced is not a deal breaker. Probably the majority of the guys here that are now married to Filipinas were previously divorced. They are just concerned that you might be one of those "foreign wife abusers" that they hear about so often.

You are right...just be honest and yourself! You don't need to put up a false image. What AW's and Latinas find as faults or weaknesses, Asian ladies treasure. The problem is usually not with the woman wanting to become serious. Filipinas usually do not have many boyfriends and some have had none. They become serious quickly when they think they have found a good man. Take your time! It is easy for Americans to think that they are in love with a lady, since most Americans are not used to being treated so well by a woman!

Dave

[Bob_S]

It is easy for Americans to think that they are in love with a lady, since most Americans are not used to being treated so well by a woman!

That just needed repeating.

[whitey]

You have to realize that almost all these girls have been played by guys who led them on, made promises to visit, then after she told friends and family--never did and perhaps even did, in the hopes of a titty show or real sex and then once they got that, dumped them--even worse of a situation. If it didn't happen to them, they've heard of, or know other Filipinas to whom it did happen. They're just being careful.

The same stuff happens on the latin dating sites too, as I and others have mentioned before.

I wonder if in some parallel universe there's a Planet Love forum for women with a list of red flags for the men ..? 

[Jedironin]

^ Most certainly the ladies have their own sites with the "red flags" and such... it's in that secret handbook that mothers give their daughters. The one men are never allowed to see, or they expire under sudden, mysterious circumstances... 

[brettb]

Thanks for the tips there guys. I will say it is crazy on they will focus on you. Dave you said it the best!
And robert thanks for your info as well, I couldnt imagine playing one of these girls. I hope I never meet a guy braging about that Or i might end up spending some time with sheriff joe  I really do appreciate it, as this is a whole new world and to think there are some women who still learn to treat a guy correctly are out there. I'm glad I am done with AW and that hassle. Now its just time to unlearn alot of the stuff about AW and more about the pinays... Anyways thanks guys!

[z_k_g]

IMHO, once you get into the provinces you find some really nice women, its really amazing!

I don't think city girls are as desirable because they are not as unspoiled, I'm not sure if that's the right word, but its the closest I can find that fits.

In the city, specifically Manila, the girls realize that they are poor and try to so something about it, whether that means a job or finding a foreign husband. The province girls are poor but they are less jaded by it and find it more important to live more laid back and look for a husband because of love and their desire to explore the world, they are less focused on money, but still understand its importance.  (I may be totally off base but this is my impression!)

I know both type of pinay are pretty much the same, but that subtle difference is the deal breaker for me.

Just a nightly rant!

Zulu

[thekfc]

IMHO, once you get into the provinces you find some really nice women, its really amazing!

I don't think city girls are as desirable because they are not as unspoiled, I'm not sure if that's the right word, but its the closest I can find that fits.

In the city, specifically Manila, the girls realize that they are poor and try to so something about it, whether that means a job or finding a foreign husband. The province girls are poor but they are less jaded by it and find it more important to live more laid back and look for a husband because of love and their desire to explore the world, they are less focused on money, but still understand its importance.  (I may be totally off base but this is my impression!)

I know both type of pinay are pretty much the same, but that subtle difference is the deal breaker for me.

Just a nightly rant!

Zulu

This may be true but my experience in both trip, I would think that it is more of a myth than reality.

I am facebook friends with my wife, her sisters, brother, brother-in-law, niece & nephews and thus became friends with their friends - basically 10's. None of the them are in any hurry to find a foreign husband or leave their native land (I asked). About a dozen told me that they would like to visit Disney land someday, other than that - no hurry.
I have meet & spoken to 100's of young ladies after meeting my wife, none is in a hurry to find a foreign husband or leave their country.

My wife's sister owns an internet cafe and tells me most of their customer are either on facebook, playing games or talking to family members abroad.

She also say that there are 2 people who come there trying to scam people - both are guys pretending to be ladies and they point their cam towards the lady seating next to them pretending that the lady is the person the person on the other end is talking to. 

[Dave H]

My wife was always happy living in the province with her family...we are back here living. She worked in Manila for several years and lived in the US for 8 years.  There are things that she prefers and misses about America, But overall , prefers living here. I have adapted and learned how to do things differently. I think more and more like a Filipino every day.  The cost of living is certainly much lower here! I have yet to see a traffic jam or much of a slowdown here. My friends from Manila can't believe how much more laid back and relaxing things are in the provinces and don't want to go back, except to visit family.

Dave

[z_k_g]

She also say that there are 2 people who come there trying to scam people - both are guys pretending to be ladies and they point their cam towards the lady seating next to them pretending that the lady is the person the person on the other end is talking to. 

Nice Move!!

Zulu

[ignorante]

About a dozen told me that they would like to visit Disney land someday, other than that - no hurry.

Strange ambition . . .

[robert angel]

To most Filipinos, especially females, going to Disney World, USA is like what going to Mecca is to Muslims. Even if my wife can't get her parents to come here, she still wants to take them to Disney World, Hong Kong, which I am sure is a smaller, watered down version.

I think her parents would have 'had enough' of seeing and living in the USA after a week or two.
Their everyday life is so intertwined with other people in their village and even the larger town, 20 minutes away--with so many layers of activity, but yet also still so  'laid back' that they wouldn't like life here much at all, I don't think.


Besides Disney--we really think about how much they'd enjoy it here when we eat at an 'all you can eat' Asian buffet 0r another nice family restaurant.

They're a few hours from any shopping mall, but they've been to the big cities in Asia, their malls and they'd find our malls about as exciting as funeral parlors in comparison.

I do think they'd find a Mega Walmart interesting for maybe half an hour.

[z_k_g]

This may be true but my experience in both trip, I would think that it is more of a myth than reality.

Manila is a huge metropolis, the girls are different just by that very nature from a girl from the province.  No good or bad, just different.  

City girls and province girls are NOT the same, just different, and that applies to USA, Colombia, Japan or the Philippines, that was my point.

I'm a city guy but I prefer the province/country woman.

Zulu

[thekfc]

Nice Move!!

Zulu

She even showed it to me.
One time her youngest nephew (we call him the naughty one) walk by an "accidentally" brush the cam so it could focus on the guy & not the lady. The guy keep on typing & didn't even notice that the cam was moved. 
I swear I did not tell him to do it. 

[Dave H]

Quote from: thekfc on Today at 07:23:57 AM
"About a dozen told me that they would like to visit Disney land someday, other than that - no hurry."

Strange ambition . . .

Maybe, but very common! Asians Love Disney! Haven't you seen all the Asian ladies with giant pencils and autograph books, chasing the various characters around Disney?

Dave

[Dave H]

She also say that there are 2 people who come there trying to scam people - both are guys pretending to be ladies and they point their cam towards the lady seating next to them pretending that the lady is the person the person on the other end is talking to. 

Must be straight guys, since many bayots (bakla) could easily fool a foreigner with their looks!

[thekfc]

Manila is a huge metropolis, the girls are different just by that very nature from a girl from the province.  No good or bad, just different.  

City girls and province girls are NOT the same, just different, and that applies to USA, Colombia, Japan or the Philippines, that was my point.

I'm a city guy but I prefer the province/country woman.

Zulu

True.

IMHO, once you get into the provinces you find some really nice women, its really amazing!

You will find that anywhere in the Philippines - city or province, beach or mall.  

I don't think city girls are as desirable because they are not as unspoiled, I'm not sure if that's the right word, but its the closest I can find that fits.

You should have said or rephrase to: Personally, city girls are not as desirable to me because in my opinion I think that they are not as "unspoiled" as province girls.

In the city, specifically Manila, the girls realize that they are poor and try to so something about it, whether that means a job or finding a foreign husband. The province girls are poor but they are less jaded by it and find it more important to live more laid back and look for a husband because of love and their desire to explore the world, they are less focused on money, but still understand its importance.  (I may be totally off base but this is my impression!)

Zulu, II am not trying to bust your chops but I just think that you should/should have phrase your wording just a little better - it sounds like you are talking about ALL city ladies & ALL province ladies. A lot of us have been there & know what it is like but we are not the only ones reading these threads, there are 100's of "visitors" to this forum daily & some may get the wrong impression. Some may find it offensive & some may not.
Some may even get the impression like since the "girls" realize that they are poor " they try to do something about it" whether that means finding a foreign husband, job or even scamming. Some yes, but you will find that anywhere.

We all have different taste in what we like and we should be express that and.......

[z_k_g]

Zulu, II am not trying to bust your chops but I just think that you should/should have phrase your wording just a little better - it sounds like you are talking about ALL city ladies & ALL province ladies. A lot of us have been there & know what it is like but we are not the only ones reading these threads, there are 100's of "visitors" to this forum daily & some may get the wrong impression. Some may find it offensive & some may not.
Some may even get the impression like since the "girls" realize that they are poor " they try to do something about it" whether that means finding a foreign husband, job or even scamming. Some yes, but you will find that anywhere.

We all have different taste in what we like and we should be express that and.......

Correction noted.....

Zulu