My experience on DateinAsia

[Jaystone]

Hello Everyone,

I am a newbie here one of the great things about this site is how people share experiences in the search for a foreign bride.   So I figure it is my turn.  I wanted to let everyone know how my experience has been using DateinAsia.  I apologize in advance for the long post.

I was going to use Filipinheart and/or Cherry Blossoms as well, but I wanted to try this first since it was free.   I have never used an oline dating service before so I wanted to see how this one works before I paid money for another one, and I wanted to find out if I would need to use another site as well.

I set up my profile with my picture and I basically said I was divorced w/no children looking a female to marry.  I did not check my profile for the first two days.  I logged in day 3 and I was disappointed to see no one viewed my profile or shown interest.   It wasn't until I was logged on when the responses started coming in.  Keep in mind I never did the on line thing before this.  I am assuming you have to be on line to get the most responses, which makes sense when I thought about it in retrospect...these women want to hear from you right away rather to send something when you are not on line.  Is this the norm on other sites as well?

After 5 days of actually being on line, I had a total of 73 women who viewed my profile-17 who expressed interest, and 56 who viewed my profile.  Of the 56,half of them sent messages to me.  Out of the 17 who actually shown interest, 12 sent messages.  I sent interests to 15 women, and only 3 responded back they were interested as well.  The others either ignored me or sent back messages thanking me for viewing their profiles and ending correspondence then and there.   I was cool with that they -they were just being polite.  I did the same thing with women I was not interested in as well.

The responses I did receive, however I would place in 3 categories- 1.  Insane crazy/scammers, 2.  Sincere, 3. Sincere but desperate.  I have been on P/L long enough to know how to spot a scammer.  Out of a total of 73 women I found only about 10 that were sincere-six of them would fall under sincere but desperate.  15 were polite and/or not interested and the rest were totally bizarre.  One person telling me they love me after one exchange!  And she was dead serious!!!  Another young lady was already telling me after a few exchanges that her family was dirt poor with 10 siblings with no electricity in their house and not having enough to eat...she admitted she was looking for someone to help out-I kindly declined but thanked her for her honesty.  I was also getting a lot of responses from people who basically ignored what I was looking for in my profile and sent queries anyway....18 year olds for example...I am not seeing anyone who is old enough to be my daughter...I am finding this whole experience bizarre, yet intriguing.   Good thing though is I am talking with 4 lovely ladies now that are strong possibilities.

My question now is should I still try other sites such as Filipinaheart or even free ones or stay the course and continue to use DateinAsia.  Will I get the same kind of feedback on the paysites as compared to the free ones?  It does not make sense to pay for something if I doing the same thing for free.  Whatever route I decide, I already know this is going to be a long and diligent search to find my match.   Patience is truly a virtue.


Thanks in advance,

Jaystone

[z_k_g]

Jay,

As you probably read from my posts, I used DIA exclusively.

It worked for me.

I met a physically beautiful pinay and more importantly, she is even more beautiful on the inside, which I discover more and more every day.  I am looking forward to meeting her in person and hopefully, god willing, making her my wife.

I think the key is time, patience and knowing exactly what you want in a future mate.   I communicated with over 300 pinays and ended up with 1, it took months to get there and a lot of chatting and a lot of late nights.

Make the hard choices get your list of 4 down to 2 then to 1.

This may take a few months, but you have to start focusing on 1 pinay.  You may want to keep #2 as your backup plan.

As far as the other sites are concerned, I really can't help you, only used DIA.  But in general, you will have the same weeding out process to go through and it will cost you some $$$.

Oh yeah, the RP is basically a candy store, you really gotta dig deeper and find a good woman inside.  Don't be afraid to cut the 10's loose, trust me there are many many more who will KILL take her place!!   

My pinay is also very very poor; she has NEVER asked me for one dime!

Just food for thought.

Zulu

[Jaystone]

Thanks for the advice, Zulu

You are right about having patience...this is going to take some time.   The one thing I have discovered though is that the ones who are sincere are very aggressive and do not play around; they want to get married tomorrow.   I have learned to choose my words very carefully when chatting with these beautiful women...show even the slight interest or give them a compliment they are more or less looking for a commitment-after 2 or 3 exchanges some women are already saying "I wish you were my boyfriend" or "I wish you were here". "I hope you pick me"  Wow.   This would never happen here in the states.  You are right about it being a candy store-there are some women there that would put AM women to shame!

I will take your advice as far as taking the 4 I am speaking with and narrowing down to 2-I more or less planned that anyway so we are on the same page....I am getting interest every day(just got one) and I am still keeping an open mind about it...like you said this is going to take time.

So far, none of the 4 I am talking to asked for any money!   They are just asking me to take the time to get to know them more!


Jaystone

 

[z_k_g]

Jaystone,

Whats your update?

Zulu

[Jaystone]

Hello Zulu and thanks for asking!

I have decided not to try other sites....DIA is keeping me busy enough and it does appear the same process happens on other sites with a few features that set them apart-like viewing and making videos, detailed profiles etc.  I am quite happy using DIA and I recommend all newbies to try it; the best feature is it is free!!

So far, I have had over 150 women view my profile and 30 or so who showed interest after joining the site for two weeks.   I also unfortunately, I had 4 ladyboys show interest too.   Very scary.  Like I said earlier, I have to be very careful when I show any interest-they assume you are committed to them.  It is even worse when you chat with them on ym; once I have dialogue with them there, most already assume you are committed to them.   One lady saw I was on line and accused me of being a lie and a cheat because I was not on line with her!!! Going forward when I give out my yahoo msg id I tell them upfront I am chatting with other ladies because I have not made a commitment yet and if they have a problem with that then they should move on; 60% respect that and still want to chat so that strategy as worked out.

So far, of the 4 that I have a serious interest in, I dropped two of them; 1 was not serious and the other apperas to have found someone else-which I was cool that with seeing out it did not get to that level of seriousness anyway.  The two I am still chatting with have met 90% of what I am looking for-28-40 years of age, 1 child OK, college educated, willing to work once they come to the states.   I am keeping the window open for 1 more so I will keep it at 3 and then take it down to the one I will make a commitment to visit in December.  I am no longer actively searching on the site either;s If someone shows interest that I think might be a good match I will then talk to them.

The two I am chatting with are very nice and the communication is excellent.  I will let you guys know when I make the decision.

Thanks again for you advice,

Jaystone

[robert angel]

Regarding these dating sites, you're always going to get BUNCHES of women sending you 'interests' and 'messages' at first and it will really stoke your ego big time.

Sounds like you're still  in the 'sorting' stage and you're handling it pretty well. I have, through some friends, pretty much free access to Cherry Blossoms and Filipina Heart and it amazes me how many of same, sexy pretty women are there 8 years after I was 'into' that scene. They're usually for fun and games, 'online companionship' entertainment and I'm certain a lot of them are squeezing guy after guy for money and material things, inviting them to visit to take them to nice resorts, etc.


I think if you're serious, once you're past the stage where they're mostly done hitting on you to see if they can play you, and the newer, less jaded girls start becoming apparent, think like a gold miner panning for gold at a stream.

Figure you're going to be at that stream a whole lot, working the water and scoping out what's in the pan, again and again, until you find what seems to be a real, genuine 'gold nugget' of a girl and take the time to focus on her, trying to find out what she's REALLY like.

It's so easy you just focus on the obvious super pretty ones, (hey, I bet we ALL at least have a 'look see' at them)  many may who for whatever reason (you figure out the reason why ) often seem to have lower levels of education and for 'occupation' say 'other', 'unemployed', 'sales', 'entertainment' etc., They might show a lot of skin, have tattoes, studio quality photos but yet no obvious sort of income. You see gal in a sexy outfit standing in front of a bar that's stocked with liquor bottles (and there's plenty of gals with pics like that) you might think twice.

You take the pieces of information out there and apply common sense to your search and you might just get lucky--very lucky in fact.

You got to balance out what you think your balls want and what your brain should be telling you, basically.

[z_k_g]

So far, of the 4 that I have a serious interest in, I dropped two of them; 1 was not serious and the other apperas to have found someone else-which I was cool that with seeing out it did not get to that level of seriousness anyway.  The two I am still chatting with have met 90% of what I am looking for-28-40 years of age, 1 child OK, college educated, willing to work once they come to the states.   I am keeping the window open for 1 more so I will keep it at 3 and then take it down to the one I will make a commitment to visit in December.  I am no longer actively searching on the site either;s If someone shows interest that I think might be a good match I will then talk to them.

DIA works. Period.  And its free.  Its not better or worse than any of the other sites, but offers the same product- lots of single pinays!

Your numbers are working out similar to mine.  You will get tons of interests and 1 or 2 real options!  And the ladyboys! Yuck!

If you read my previous posts, I didn't really pick based on the pics posted.  I did my research on P-L and, as Robert points out, you should be looking for the diamond in the rough!  I know the tendency is to go for all 10's, nothing wrong with that, but don't make that your obsession.  You can easily screw up and find yourself with a dud!

Until you find that single sweetie, do not send money for any reason.  After you find her, you will want to expand your communication options beyond yahoo chatting.  This may require some cash on your part.  

Remember these women are poor, they are mostly proud so they won't  tell you how poor.  You may want to offer to pay for their communication costs in order for you to web cam at the cafe or get her a cell phone that can do yahoo messenger.  Communication is key to a long distance relationship, so the more options the better.  And ONLY take this step, SPENDING MONEY, if you are committed to one woman; otherwise you will WASTE a lot of money and things get confusing, relationshipwise.  

Keep it simple so you can make the wise decisions.

Good luck and remember, the Philippines is a candy store, but, if you take the necessary steps, you can have both a quality future wife and a number #1 stunner!

You want both!

Zulu

[Jaystone]

Thanks for the advice Robert and Zulu,

I really appreciate it.   I need all the help I can get.    Zulu, you were right about not judging by the pics alone.....the 3 now that I am focusing on are all sweethearts and I just can't decide which one ..they are 10s in my mind.....I am just going to take my time with this and follow my heart.  I will know which one I will go with eventually.   In the meantime, I am just going keep communicating with these beautiful women.  This will hopefully be the last time I get married, so I want to be sure.

Thanks again!

Jaystone

[z_k_g]

....the 3 now that I am focusing on are all sweethearts and I just can't decide which one ..they are 10s in my mind.....

Jay, when you pick the right pinay, she will always be your 10!!

Good luck,

Zulu

[Jedironin]

Hi all. I have a profile on DateInAsia now, and I'm starting to search... focusing on Japan, but also getting hits from Philippines.

I'm seeing a lot of ladies listed as "separated" and "divorced"... I thought that was not common in RP? Any insights about this? Is it a Red Flag? I don't really mind if they already have one child, many ladies in my age group might have a previous relationship behind them already...

[Ray]

Hi all. I have a profile on DateInAsia now, and I'm starting to search... focusing on Japan, but also getting hits from Philippines.

I'm seeing a lot of ladies listed as "separated" and "divorced"... I thought that was not common in RP? Any insights about this? Is it a Red Flag? I don't really mind if they already have one child, many ladies in my age group might have a previous relationship behind them already...

Since there is no divorce in the Philippines, consider any Filipina who says she is “divorced” as still legally married. Some are legally separated, some unofficially separated, but all are still legally married and cannot marry again without spending big bucks and often many years of legal red tape to obtain an annulment or some other legal maneuver. I would strongly recommend that you avoid anyone who fits any of those categories.

There are widows and sometimes “legal” widows, but you should always obtain legal proof of death or annulment.

If a lady has a child, you should be very cautious because there is a good chance that she is also legally married and not telling you.

Ray

[Jedironin]

^ That's what I thought... (I have been reading a lot here!). 

[z_k_g]

^ That's what I thought... (I have been reading a lot here!). 

Keep reading the recent posts, lots of info that you should digest.  I read for 2 months before I joined and started posting and asking specific questions and posting myself.

Because of my preparation and patience I made some pretty decent choices with less screw ups!!

Take your time, but take chances also, and just prepare!

Zulu

[Jedironin]

Another dumb question... if a lady has not logged on to the site for several months, is there a chance she will still reply to a message, or not? Some of the "hopefuls" I have on my Favorites list have not logged on since before summer...

I find I'm very hesitant to start writing to them, nervous about this I think. Also not in a hurry to start busting scammers again...

[z_k_g]

Another dumb question... if a lady has not logged on to the site for several months, is there a chance she will still reply to a message, or not? Some of the "hopefuls" I have on my Favorites list have not logged on since before summer...

I find I'm very hesitant to start writing to them, nervous about this I think. Also not in a hurry to start busting scammers again...

If you send her a message, the DIA bot will send her an email telling her she has an email.  You never know what may happen.

You may end up sending out a few hundred emails.  I would say for every 50 emails you send you will get 1 or 2 quality responses, that would be a good rule of thumb, so do the math.

And get to work! 

Zulu

[robert angel]

I wouldn't rule out the ones who haven't been on line in a while, but I'd suspect at least a couple things. One--she's taken and doesn't want the guy to see that she's been active. (at least there) Of course, you'd think that she'd ask for her profile to be removed, but some of these sites make that very difficult.

Or--maybe she just grew tired of the 'game' and backed off for a while--after all, there's a lot more misses than hits, and a lot of guys are gunning for the cuties with educations.

I would suggest looking at the girls with the newest profiles first and trying to get to the front of the line there.

Funny thing I noticed--I think there's a correlation that generally equates to 'the less clothes she has on in her profile pics, the less education and the more likely she'll list something not too specific for 'occupation''.

Most women have their bachelor's degree by about age 21 over there--they finish high school at age 16.

When I see a woman in her late 20's or early thirties with 3 or 4 bikini shots as profile pics(and sometimes it's a different bikini in each pic) and she's says 'student' for occupation, I wonder what she's REALLY 'taking up'

I'd get away from the 'she's a TEN' mindset and look for someone cute, clean and wholesome, who'll probably age well--better than some smoking string bean of a girl who likes clubbing. Better to find a gal who has some education and job skills to fall back on, if needed--something more involved than being a cocktail waitress....

I've seen some really cute Teachers from the RP and they usually can eventually get certified and teach here.

Be careful what you wish for! You bring ANY foreign woman to the USA and I promise you, she WILL change.

The character she has--judging by the the time you've spent knowing--analyzing and researching her--her family and her friends--the stuff she's made of and surrounded by, will help to tell you if she's gonna come to the USA and end up in a  "Girls gone wild" video, or somewhat like and dislike the USA and long for home, which is how I like my wife.

If we could afford it right now--we'd be living in Davao and or Bohol for 10 months of the year in a heart beat.

[z_k_g]

If we could afford it right now--we'd be living in Davao and or Bohol for 10 months of the year in a heart beat.

Ditto....

Zulu

[Jedironin]

Well, so far I've spotted 3 "nice, young ladies" all with the exact same description:

Hi! I'm new to this site...
I'd like to meet various people with various backgrounds, learn their cultures and keen to see more.
I'm a Filipina and currently living in Japan with my kid for few yrs. now.
I love some cities here especially because of the cultural variety and lifestyle.
We could talk in English, Japanese, basic chinese(mandarin) or (ofcourse) Tagalog .

All 3 listed as "Separated", too.   

Coinkydink??   

[Jedironin]

ROFLMAO!!

Just got this message from DateinAsia:

Congratulations, ladyboycdo is interested in you!

ladyboycdo is 20 years old and from manila, Philippines.

I'm not even gonna look!  LOL!!  That's either a VERY poor choice for a user name, or very descriptive!

[Ray]

ROFLMAO!!

Just got this message from DateinAsia:

Congratulations, ladyboycdo is interested in you!

ladyboycdo is 20 years old and from manila, Philippines.

I'm not even gonna look!  LOL!!  That's either a VERY poor choice for a user name, or very descriptive!

Pass a link to that one on to Dave H. He is always on the lookout for new talent for his "beauty pageants"

 

[Jedironin]

 

Turns out that user name was accurate. I only viewed it, did not open it! I ain't gonna and you can't make me!   

[thekfc]

Turns out that user name was accurate. I only viewed it, did not open it! I ain't gonna and you can't make me!   

   


 

[Bob_S]

Well, so far I've spotted 3 "nice, young ladies" all with the exact same description:

Hi! I'm new to this site...
I'd like to meet various people with various backgrounds, learn their cultures and keen to see more.
I'm a Filipina and currently living in Japan with my kid for few yrs. now.
I love some cities here especially because of the cultural variety and lifestyle.
We could talk in English, Japanese, basic chinese(mandarin) or (ofcourse) Tagalog .
All 3 listed as "Separated", too.   
Coinkydink??   

Translation:
Arrived in Japan as an "entertainer", got preggers as an occupational hazard, needs sugar daddy to get her out of her situation.  May have a husband back home.
Alternately, arrived in Japan as a MOB for a rice farmer in the sticks, had his baby, bored out of her mind, tired of working like a drudge for farmer Inaka-kun, ran off to the big city, supporting herself as a hostess girl at a snack club for international businessmen, looking for a sugar daddy to get her out.

Have you tried http://www.tokyofriendfinder.com/ ?