Facebook

[Quixote9]

I hate Facebook, but it is a good way to keep tabs on what's going on with your Chica, because every Colombiana under 35 has a facebook account and for some reason they can't resist (or their friends can't resist) posting every incriminating detail of their lives and what they are doing on this site (with pictures too!)

Sometimes they have 2 facebook accounts, one for their boyfriend or parents to see, and one with all the secret wild stuff they are up to.  They might use their privacy feature to block you from seeing this stuff, but if you set up a second account yourself with a fake name, you might be able to find her second account or see photos or posts by other guys she blocked your primary account from being able to see. 

Trust the relationship status she allows her friends to see on facebook, not the one she wants you to see.  If she is telling her friends she is single.. then she considers herself single and is still dating around. If she posts she is in a relationship but doesn't list you or anyone in particular as her boyfriend... she has more than one boyfriend.

You can also run a 'deep internet' search to find any social networking sites associated with their name or email address. 

I know this might sound like I have been burned too many times (and I have!) but that is no reason to get burned yourself!  The guy who stole my first girlfriend (and married her) appearanty never bothered to dig around on the internet or he would have found out she was/is cheating on him too.  You have to be able to read spanish though.  I say better safe than sorry.

[Researcher]

   Good info Quixote.Great advice to anyone looking around or in a serious relationship.
 

  Researcher

[JimD]

Interesting. So how do you "run a 'deep internet' search to find any social networking sites associated with their name or email address."? 

[fathertime]

Interesting. So how do you "run a 'deep internet' search to find any social networking sites associated with their name or email address."? 

Hey JimD,
there are websites out there that will run this sort of search like this one. http://www.pipl.com/


Fathertime!

[CROW]

Interesting. So how do you "run a 'deep internet' search to find any social networking sites associated with their name or email address."? 

Facebook goes both ways...I recently had to shut down my facebook account because I left my facebook page open on one of the laptops and my girlfriend went in and read my messages.

A chick I dated a couple of years ago sent me a message out of the blue telling me that she now works on livejasim and that I should look her up and check her out.

I just sent her a reply saying OK we'll talk.... just trying to be nice.... my girlfriend goes to the website and checks her out and then goes balistic.

Doesn't really matter that I haven't spoke to the woman in over a year nor that I never even botherd to go to the website and check her out....I'm still a DOG!!!

[JimD]

Thank you FT.

So Crow did the girl you dated expect you to pay so much per minute to watch her in action on livejasim? That would be pretty funny!

[CROW]

Thank you FT.

So Crow did the girl you dated expect you to pay so much per minute to watch her in action on livejasim? That would be pretty funny!

She knows that I have a studio account and that I have girls that work for me. I was going to let her work for me from home but she could never get her own place and was always living with her family so that just wasn't possible. And I certainly wasn't going to let her work from my place with my girlfriend hanging around.

More than anything this girl wants a decent boyfriend that will help her out and not just use her.....poor thing got involved with a married colombiano after we split and eventually left her hign and dry.

[InnocentVixen]

Hey quixote, long time no see! I hope your search is going well.

Like Crow says, facebook can go both ways, personally I would not be interested in dating someone that makes a lot of effort to "dig up" stuff about me, those kinds of people can be so paranoid they will not stop until they find something... and they will find something even if there is nothing to find.

This does not mean you should not be careful, if you do find something talk to your girl, depending on her reaction it is up to you if you want to look for more evidence, if you find more again it is up to you to end up in a novela or look somewhere else.

I have a facebook account with family and friends, a couple of penpals too, I have not yet changed my status to single even though my relationship ended over a month ago, does this mean I am still in a relationship? no, it just means that I don't feel like answering questions about it, my family knows I don't date around so it's embarrassing that after so long I found myself a boyfriend and it lasted only a few months, also I get a lot of random requests from strangers when my status is set to single and it can get annoying.

I have to admit this time around I will go slower with the relationship when I meet someone and wait longer to tell my family about him, so keep it in mind your girl might not change her status because she wants to be sure you are serious first.

[Dave H]

You can also run a 'deep internet' search to find any social networking sites associated with their name or email address.  

Hey Quixote9,

I think you just found a way to make me a millionaire, $29.95 at a time, from insecure men with foreign ladies. Just look me up,  "Benicio Banderas," pay...and I will infiltrate Facebook ("deep Internet cover" - taught to me by the Internet inventor, Maharshi AL Gore) and try to become your lady's new potential love interest.

Common sense and intuition work well for me...whenever I bothered to pay attention!

Your new 'best friend' (that $29.95 can buy)  

"Ben" AKA "Ant" or even better "Al" Ban Goro



+



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[Pivery]

 Good info to keep in mind Quixote. Fortunately my fiancée never got bit by the facebook bug,
but she has cousins who stay on facebook 24 hours a day. And yes they divulge any and every
silly detail for everyone to see. Also some of the pictures they upload would give me a heart attack
if I was their father.

Hope you find one you don't have to keep an eye on...

Pivery

[Dave H]

I know it is hard...and I may be wrong, but I think the goal should be to find the type of woman that you don't have to constantly monitor, check her Facebook account, cellphone records, record house phone lines, track with GPS, etc. If I was that worried about a woman in particular and felt that she couldn't be trusted, I would move on! If I was worried about all women...I would take a break for a few years before I got back into the game!

There are some stories that make you want to slap some sense into guys. But they want to be reassured that everything is going to be OK, try to pass it off as a cultural difference and usually tell you that "she is different!" They continue on no matter what they find out like a train wreck!

One that comes to mind...I usually don't stick my neck out so far, but once got involved trying to help a very nice guy who was getting some REAL T A L L S TO R I E S!!! My neck was starting to rotate like Linda Blair! His fiancee wouldn't let him meet in her hometown ("too dangerous" - I live there), instead meeting him on another island far away. The man who was usually rude when he answered her cell phone was her brother. The kids in the background who called her "mama" were nephews and nieces who were just very close to her, etc.  Deep down, he knew they were lies, but desperately wanted to believe her!!! Since she was from our area of the Philippines, I had no problem getting a lot of info fast. I had even arranged for two police investigators (relatives) to dig a bit deeper into her past and background...all at my usual hourly rate...FREE!  When I asked for his fiancee's full name, the poster suddenly changed his mind and said that everything was now fine! She wasn't kidnapped by terrorists after all, and had been found "alive" in some remote area that was cut off from civilization for several weeks by an earthquake (come on...do you think that even I could make something that ridiculous up). Hallelujah! I then lost all contact with him, his  cell number no longer worked. The "Happy Ending"...I heard that he married her, brought her to the US, but...hasn't been heard from by even his closest friends here in years. Let's just hope he is still too busy after 5+ years to come up for air...NOT  VERY LIKELY!!!

Dave

[Jeff S]

AMEN Dave! If you can't trust her - she's the wrong person for you - or you need some psychotherapy because you're way too much of a control freak.

[beginthebeguin]

Quixote9 said

Trust the relationship status she allows her friends to see on facebook, not the one she wants you to see.  If she is telling her friends she is single.. then she considers herself single and is still dating around. If she posts she is in a relationship but doesn't list you or anyone in particular as her boyfriend... she has more than one boyfriend.

Damm straight!!!! Facebook gives you a chance to have a particular 'friend' designated as the person you are 'in a relationship' with.  And at the 'friends' level not the 'friends of friends' level of access control that person appears on your page. And not everyone has access to your very personal information if you set basic information such as 'status' to friends only.  Soooooo. It is a great 'test' to place on your novia/significant other. If she balks at doing this, then you know she has possibly something to hide.
I recently got a request to be a Facebook 'friend' on Facebook from a woman I am very interested in.
I remembered reading this very post. So, as an experiment I started an account on Facebook. Low and behold I find out the lady in question has about 23 'friends' so far. No problem. But no picture for her posted there yet. So I asked her about it. It seems her 12-year old son, convinced her to try this. So I told her that I had placed her as the woman that I wanted to be 'in a relationship' with. And instructed her by email that I would be very happy if she accepted and did not decline. I mentioned that some of her sisters and relatives that live outside of Colombia (they married gringos)  would be able to see fotos of me and my family members as well, and that my Facebook information would be available to them for viewing.
After a few days she balked, big argument ensues. She claimed it was too hard for her to set up the pages and did not really know how to use it and her son was the only one who could expain it's use to her. And that I do not have confidence in her, that I didn't trust her. The usual stuff that so many posters hear all the time.
So, I dropped her from my friends list. And I can't wait to see what happens next. Since I called' her on this,  I bet she is hoping to put me on a Facebook 'fiends' list. Hey, what a great idea!!   
Of course, it is now time to start looking in other Colombian pastures.
 

[JimD]

I think Quixote9 ´s post about Facebook is extremely important. This is absolutely where the wash is hung out to dry. The problem is where/how do you find it (the wash). An example: I recently came accross a FB page with a couple of photos of a girl I´m interested in, arm in arm with a chico. His page when revealed as a mutual friend shows like twelve photos but under "photos" it states he has 110. I would like to see those for obvious reasons but I guess you would have to some how "friend" him to see the rest of the album. 

[beginthebeguin]

A bad experience for the lady that I mentioned in this post. I found this out today while verifying if she had closed her account. She told me while chatting that her son had cancelled her Facebook account. So to verify (something one of our forum regulars always drums into we novices) I did a search on her account. It was still there and a rather unpleasant surprise was waiting for me. A 'hacked' portrait foto appeared in the account name. No other personal information belonging to her was touched but where last night there was no foto, this afternoon showed a porn photo that would even shock Madonna.
Please be sure to warn all of your inexperienced Facebook users to check their accounts regularly. 

[Researcher]

              You guys are doing some pretty good detective work on Facebook.I guess a woman would need to setup 2 accounts to fool someone.The "good girl" account and the "skank ho" account.This idea probably hasn't caught on yet. I just recently got into using Facebook so I'm not much on how to use it.If I were dating it would come in handy no doubt.When I was dating I knew  very little about social networking but later my niece filled me in.That made me feel so old.....


                                     

              Researcher

[dennislevy]

Maybe, I m just too naive.
 
For me its very simple....I live in Colombia, I contact women that interest me, usually on Cupid.....we chat...and then I go and meet them. if there is no physical chemistry, I go on to another woman in the same town or in another town a few hours away...if there is chemistry, I stay and we start to get to  know each other, I meet their family and their extended family in homes, I ask questions, they ask me questions, 
 
How many facebook accounts they have? That s the  LAST thing on my mind, or whether they are a good girl or not.....sheesh..... if I dont have a clue about that after 10 hours of chatting or after the first two dates...I have no business dating Colombian women!
 
I understand that if its a long distance realtionship, a man may have concerns,,,but you know if he is so worried.....Im thinking the woman is out of his realistic dating pool....if he hasnt met her and he is doing all this up front detecting....I have to wonder...
 
. 

[AndyLee]

I closed my Facebook account after a former girlfriend found it on my laptop one day and went nuts. She sent outraged letters to ever woman on my page, even my sister. I decided it was more of a hassle than it was worth. Occasionally I'll get a girlfriend here in Colombia who has an account and I just ignore her invitation to friend her.
For the most part I'm dating women 38 and older who are even less computer savvy than I am so the Facebook thing is not as problematic as it is in the 20 somethings.

[Jhengsman]

I look at it this way if someone is on websites looking for a potential mate yet does not have a facebook page flags start to fly. The facebook address has become the web equivalent of a street address versus having a PO Box dead drop. One thing it does when you start seeing friends and family in normal and not glamor shots  it should end the perception that all "fill in the country blank" won't get fat like American women or other stereotypes brought into this community.

[AndyLee]

I look at it this way if someone is on websites looking for a potential mate yet does not have a facebook page flags start to fly. The facebook address has become the web equivalent of a street address versus having a PO Box dead drop. One thing it does when you start seeing friends and family in normal and not glamor shots  it should end the perception that all "fill in the country blank" won't get fat like American women or other stereotypes brought into this community.

I guess I look at it from the opposite viewpoint. If  a woman has a Facebook account I consider it a red flag. If I glance at her page and see a dozen or more pictures of men in her age group then I figure they are boyfriends and I drop her like a hot potato. As for it being like a street address? God help us. I guess I'm homeless.

[jvoorhees]

I look at it this way if someone is on websites looking for a potential mate yet does not have a facebook page flags start to fly. The facebook address has become the web equivalent of a street address versus having a PO Box dead drop. One thing it does when you start seeing friends and family in normal and not glamor shots  it should end the perception that all "fill in the country blank" won't get fat like American women or other stereotypes brought into this community.

Interesting perspective.  But I tend to disagree.
 
I am 34 and working in software development.  So I am no stranger to computers.  But for the lie of me I just don't understand facebook at all.  I have zero interest in it.  Never had a Facebook account.  I may get one if I am lucky enough to date a Colombian woman and she has one as a way to stay in touch.
 
But to me, Facebooks is a one way conversation.  You talk about yourself and your friends can read it.  And from my experience of watching others, all Facebook is good at is stirring up drama.
 
But each to their own.

[robert angel]

My wife has been great about her facebook account, but for a lot of people, including maybe even myself, I could see it getting out of control and a cause of friction that could turn into fire.

 
I can look at my wife's account and while I don't know ALL the people there ('friends') personally, the MALES are all married to Filipinas or are co workers of my wife, are ex  college mates, people I generally know of, etc. No red flags.

 
I think if I set up a facebook account (and hell, MY parents, wife and my children all have theirs and  just about everyone I know has one) I just think that I'd be getting invitations to be 'friends' with female friends of friends I already have on there and it could, over time, get problematic for that and other reasons. I deal with enough temptation already, I  don't need an extra venue.
 
Not saying I'll NEVER set up a facebook account, because it would be a great way to find long lost friends from childhood, college etc, but I'm in no hurry....

[Jeff S]

But to me, Facebooks is a one way conversation.  You talk about yourself and your friends can read it.  And from my experience of watching others, all Facebook is good at is stirring up drama.
 
But each to their own.

Facebook is not a one-way conversation. Some morons may use facebook as a one way conversation. It's a platform with all sorts of capabilities. I have both a personal and business facebook account, and use them entirely differently than that. It is probably one of the most effective SEO tools you can use for a business, and as a way to connect with long lost friends and relatives, and keep up-to-date, it's great. It is anything but one-way. You can reply, comment, link, share photos, and do all sorts of 2-way, both privately and publicly. As a business tool, it allows people to ask questions, comment, debate merits, and so forth - very much like this forum. In fact eventually it will replace forums like this. Old timers like us are stuck in our ways, but if you were to start a new Planet-Love type special interest forum, it would catch on a lot faster and be more usable as a facebook group than as a forum like this.

[AndyLee]

Yes, I agree Jeff, as a business tool or just for your family and close friends, it's incredibly versatile and perhaps even invaluable. But, for those of us who are dating it is always a hassle to make sure we delete the old girlfriends before the new girlfriend sees it. I've got my own horror store on this and have heard from others and know others who have had their Facebook page blow up in their face. So, I agree to the extent that it is an invaluable tool for business and for family and close friends I do not think it is necessary or desirable for me to have one when it can blow up in my face like it did the last time. I keep track of my friends through forums like this one and i keep track of my family through occasional emails and phone calls. I keep track of my business.......well, I don't have a business so there goes my last excuse to have a facebook account.
BTW, I do have a facebook page, you're welcome to friend me but don't be put out if I don't friend you back, I haven't been too good about visiting and updating the page. Last time I looked I know about 4 of the 40 friends I have on the page. The others are friends of friends or whatever.

[fathertime]

I don't know why people rag on facebook so much...i think it is a great site...i've run across people from my past that i would have never seen again if it weren't for facebook.  i don't see a lot of my friends anymore so it is another way to socialize with old friends that live far away.
I also think it can be useful in getting more background info. on a lady you might have an interest in. 
of course there are always some people that are totally overboard with their hourly comments about banalities but it is easy to set a block up and then you don't have to read their silliness. 
Fathertime!